
Red Skelton Show 46-12-31 158 Old Man Winter
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Narrator/Host
Limu Emu and Doug. Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.
Co-host/Companion
Limu.
Narrator/Host
Is that guy with the binoculars watching us? Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you need@libertymutual.com Liberty.
Co-host/Companion
Liberty. Liberty.
Narrator/Host
Liberty Savings vary unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.
David forrester and his orchestra. Singing star anita ellis, gigi pearson, verna felton, pat mcgee and wonderful smith. And you're truly rod o'.
Co-host/Companion
Connor.
Narrator/Host
It's a pleasure to bring Metro Golden Mayor, the popular comedian and Red Kelp.
Co-host/Companion
Thank you very much and happy New.
Narrator/Host
Year, ladies and gentlemen. Goodbye, 46. And we're glad to get rid of you.
903, Rod. 903, Red. Well, Red, here it is New Year's Eve. Oh, it can't be. Why, you're still standing up.
Now, just a minute, R. I'll have you know I don't invite. Oh, I celebrate New Year's Eve by listening to the radio. And then at 12 o' clock I have a warm glass of milk and go to bed. That's fine. Forest Lawn Heard about you, Ed.
Well, how are you gonna bring the New Year in, Red? I got nothing to do with it. I'll stand there and it'll come on its own.
Co-host/Companion
You know, I've got a hunch that.
Narrator/Host
47 is my year to win the Academy Award. You mean next year? No, when I'm 47.
Well, I sure hope it doesn't rain like it did at Christmas time.
Co-host/Companion
Yeah.
Narrator/Host
You know, the Chamber of Commerce out here in California was really wonderful to everyone. They gave them a pool in their backyard.
Say, by the way, Red, how do you like that cocker spaniel puppy that Vernon and I gave you for Christmas? Oh, he's a corker. He is. He's wonderful.
He knows more tricks. How does he ever teach him to tear up a rug like that, huh? Well, what do you call the dog? I'm gonna call him 1946 if he doesn't behave. He's going out tonight.
Oh, by the way, here's a New Year's greeting from our sponsor, Mr. Raleigh. Oh, yeah, A telegram too. Oh, he's a sly one, isn't he? He sent it at 9:03am it says 1946 was filled with hope. Let's see if we can make 1947 filled with skeleton.
There's two ways to take that applause.
You gonna make New Year's Eve resolution. Fred. Yeah. I'm making the first resolution. I'm not going to punch any tigers in the mouth this year. What kind of a resolution is that? You never have punched a tiger in the mouth. I know, but I'm gonna have a resolution this year that I can keep.
You going to Rose bowl game tomorrow? The guy that wrote that's no longer with us.
You at the Rose bowl game tomorrow? Am I going to the Rosebud? And I'm going to watch the game for my front Porsche. You can't see anything from there. You live 30 miles away. It's closer than those 50 bargains. Their seller.
And now my mother, Anita Ellis will sing for sentimental reasons.
Co-host/Companion
Heaven love.
I hope you do believe me.
I give you my heart.
I love you.
And your love wonder and for me.
Please give your loving heart to me.
And they will never part.
I think of you every morning.
Dream of you.
Whenever you.
I love you.
Given you my heart.
Oh my days.
Sam Tonight, instill into yourself a.
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Narrator/Host
Frozen strip over his bottle of rum. Unable to straighten his arm. They just burnished the gun in the drum.
I'll get the man who got my gun.
Co-host/Companion
I don't blame him for not wanting to stop. As long as he's running the cheekwarm.
Narrator/Host
Man, am I freezing? Is your nose cold?
Co-host/Companion
I don't know. I scratched them three miles back and.
Narrator/Host
It fell off.
Him.
Co-host/Companion
Now it.
Narrator/Host
Thought maybe you had two heads and you lost one of your noses.
They say. Is it always this cold up here? No, only nine months out of the year. Then the freezing spell sets in.
Co-host/Companion
I got a notion to set my fire Set fire fire to my celluloid collar.
Narrator/Host
Now let's not get Hotheaded here old Brian.
Co-host/Companion
Now D I really let's turn back. Look at them snow clouds ahead while we heading for a blizzard. I'm so cold now I'm turning blue.
Narrator/Host
Navy, that's. We can't turn back. We can't turn back. Yeah. No, we can't turn back.
I gotta turn back and read this line.
I gotta find Jim Harkins, the critter that stole my gal and McGold claim.
Co-host/Companion
Yeah, well money ain't everything. And as far as the gal is concerned, why there's plenty more fish in the sea.
Narrator/Host
Yeah, I ain't intend to marry up with no mackerel. I love Clementine. She's really a beautiful gal. She's got a swan like Nick. Yeah, lots of gals have. She got web feet too. I'm going to marry her someday.
Co-host/Companion
Yeah, well how about that gal in the other.
Narrator/Host
Well there's something fishy about her.
Co-host/Companion
You mean because her eyes were on the side of her head?
Narrator/Host
Yeah, but she was a good girl. Her heart was like the army, open to old men between the ages of 18 and 35.
Well, we better get a move on or we're going to freeze to death up here. Someday I'm going to go where it never gets cold. Yeah, but you're going to have to.
Co-host/Companion
Die to make it.
Narrator/Host
Yeah.
Look, there's a. There's a town ahead. We'll ride for it. What do you say?
Co-host/Companion
Okay.
Babe. What time is it?
Narrator/Host
I don't know. I swallowed my Mickey Mouse. What? The other day. Really? Does it give you any trouble? Only when I try to wind it.
Co-host/Companion
Well I don't think these horses are.
Narrator/Host
Going to last much longer while the snow is balling up on the hooves. Well, just reaching my saddle pack there. Get that Esquire. Turn to page 57. It'll melt that snow and no shot time. The same guy that wrote that joke wrote the other one in there. Both.
Sucker stayed up all night right there.
Well maybe we can stop and trade these horses for a couple of dog team. Okay, roll boy. Maybe we can get the Brooklyn Dodgers. We'll go into this trading post here and get warmed up.
Hey, nice sleep here. Yeah.
Co-host/Companion
Boy, look at that fire and that five. Me shut that door.
Narrator/Host
Get your trash.
Co-host/Companion
Look Ms. Bush, I don't take that kind of talk from nobody.
Narrator/Host
Oh, a bachelor girl, huh?
Look, get back to the wilderness, wolf girl. There's gents present. Ain't you got more learning?
Co-host/Companion
I'll have you know I'm a self made woman.
Narrator/Host
Yeah, she let somebody else do the Face, you sure mess with.
Co-host/Companion
What's can I do for you gypsies?
Narrator/Host
We ain't gypsies, man.
Co-host/Companion
You're wearing earrings.
Narrator/Host
Him's icicles.
You got any dog teams for sale?
Co-host/Companion
Dog teams? Sounds like you might be heading further north.
Narrator/Host
Yep.
Co-host/Companion
You must be on a pretty important mission. The Pious Blizzard.
Narrator/Host
Yeah, I'm looking for a sage brusher named Jim Hawkins. He stole my gal and my money.
Co-host/Companion
Jim Harpinger. Well, you desperately destination has been reached. You'll find him over at the Klondike Honky Tong.
Narrator/Host
Probably with Fred Allen. Well, come on, partner.
Co-host/Companion
Say, look, Mr. Dead Eye.
Narrator/Host
You.
Co-host/Companion
I mean, yes, you. Are you really walking into trouble? That Jim Hawkins is a fast man with a.45 and a good shot too.
Narrator/Host
Yeah, you ain't doing bad with it yourself today. I can shoot fast as anybody. You see that pine cone hanging from that tree? Yeah, what?
See that barn door over there?
Come on, we'll go inside here.
Hey, piano players. Is there a gal around here named Clementine? Yeah, she's over there.
He's laughing boy tonight, you know he's happy cause he finally got a lunch.
Here's a dollar tip, old boy. Go get a haircut, will you?
Thanks. It would be good to see out again.
Yeah, you won't have to pay dues now. Petrilla will never recognize you. Careful smoking. You could have a brush fire there, you know. There's my old gal. Howdy, gals.
Co-host/Companion
Howdy, stranger.
Narrator/Host
I ain't no stranger, gal. It's me, Deadeye.
Co-host/Companion
Oh, Deadeye. I didn't recognize you. You scared me up first.
Narrator/Host
I don't doubt it, gals. Seems like I'm always scaring people. One Halloween I scared my mother and father to death. How I was born.
Co-host/Companion
By the way, Jedi. Aren't you getting a little arty?
Narrator/Host
What are you mean?
Co-host/Companion
Well, that gorgeous hand painted tie. Say, look, is that a petty girl you got painted on that tie?
Narrator/Host
No, that's Lena Romai, the actor. I always like to feel that women like Lena Romai is hanging around my neck.
Same boy wrote it.
Look, Al, I came a long way through this storm to see you. You got to give up this guy, Jim Harmon.
Co-host/Companion
I guess I do have what it takes.
Narrator/Host
Yeah, too bad. What you got ain't taking nowhere. Don't move that ass. Well, howdy, Jim. I ain't up here looking for trouble. Just come to get my gal and my money and to take you back to Texas. I ain't looking for no trouble. The boys down there got a rope nick tie waiting for You. You talk like a tough man. You trying to act like one. I ain't acting. Where I come from, we the whole street at one sitting. Oh, you do? Yeah. Well, where I come from, we take a raw steer, butter it so it'll slide down easier. Then we sit in a hot kittle of boiling water to cook it. Hot kettle of water to cook here.
Co-host/Companion
Jedi.
Narrator/Host
We're acting very childish. We shouldn't be fighting. You can have your gal. Take her with you. But leave me here. You didn't even have to come all the way up here. Did I? No. You could have wrote me a letter. I just send her back. Please. She loves you. You got money. Take her back to Texas. But please leave me here. I can't stand that climate. Please, my boy, control yourself. We ain't selling soap, you know.
Co-host/Companion
Yeah, dead. Ey, leave the coward here. Well, anyway, I couldn't stand to see him hang around.
Narrator/Host
Let me get through the blizzard while.
Co-host/Companion
Where's that P that was looking for a dog team?
Narrator/Host
Here I am.
Co-host/Companion
Well, I got you 12 dogs. And this lead dog here, the finest you ever seen. Nice and friendly too.
Narrator/Host
Yeah, Holly boy. Yeah, he does seem friendly for a Pekingese, don't he?
Co-host/Companion
There forehead and head and he can't fight. No teeth.
Narrator/Host
How nice. Boy.
Won'T bite, huh? You see the fingers on my left hand?
Co-host/Companion
He ain't got no fingers on your left hand.
Narrator/Host
Mighty rugged gums he's got, man.
The first snow.
Junior made a snowball real quick. Threw it at a guy with a walking stick. He was knocked out cold. And if the truth were told, inside of the trick was a brick.
Co-host/Companion
Oh, what a beautiful sight. The earth blanketed in snow. Oh, Junior. Jack Riddle. Come downstairs. Okay, I slide down the banister. It'll be thicker.
What is your brain?
Put that stuff outside and come here. It still works.
You can look out the window upstairs.
Narrator/Host
Not me.
Co-host/Companion
I can raise them window blinds. Not after what happened the last time, boy. I forgot to let go of the cord and I shot up with the blinds. Wound me around the widow road. I got the worst sponge. And then I got my life. I look out the window. Okay, I look out the window.
Does this mean the sugar shortage is over? No, dear Jack. Snow. No. Oh, boy. I'm going to make a snowman. I'm going to make him look like Uncle Sim. Could be the Hopper's.
Narrator/Host
That's if I can find stool with enough looking snow.
Co-host/Companion
Can I go on blaze? Will you have your long underwear on? Yeah, I got on me long heavies. And I got on me heavy shirt, me war shots and me pants, me high top shoes, me overcoat. Well, I'm proud of you, dressing yourself without my help. Yes. How did you. I slept in them last night.
You can go outside until breakfast is ready. Okay. Oh, boy. Oh, I'll go with you and pick up the morning paper. Careful going down the steps now. They're slippery.
Narrator/Host
Oh, be careful.
Co-host/Companion
Are you all right? I hurt me arm. Did you bump your funny bone? Yeah, me funny bone lost the sense of humor. Hey, where'd all this ice come from? Mother Nature freezes the water. Boy, she really got stiff last night.
Careful now. Hey, watch me. I'm gonna go belly whopping.
Oh, now, I never do that thing go belly whopping. Junior, you need a sled.
Narrator/Host
Now she tells me.
Co-host/Companion
What are you doing? Making a snowball. Yeah, a nice, big, fat, juicy one. You wouldn't hit Grandma with it, would you?
Sometimes I wonder why they let women vote.
Oh, there's Mr. Fowler. Oh, yes, Mr. Fowler.
Narrator/Host
Look, he's wearing a new derby hat and me with a snowball.
Co-host/Companion
Now, he ought to know better than that. I'll just close my eyes and hope for the best. Whoop.
Narrator/Host
Oh, boy.
Co-host/Companion
It's a good thing he had his sister open and it hit him right.
Narrator/Host
In the mud, you know.
Co-host/Companion
Oh, here he comes. Here he comes.
Narrator/Host
Vernon, did you see what Junior did?
Co-host/Companion
No, why?
Narrator/Host
He hit me with a snowball. It was padded around a brick.
Co-host/Companion
It was not a brick. It was not a brick.
Narrator/Host
It was a brick.
Co-host/Companion
It was not a brick. It was not. It was flat stone.
Narrator/Host
You should be ashamed of yourself. You throw snowballs and people won't like you.
Co-host/Companion
Well, that'll be an improvement because they hate me. Now, look, young man, you behave yourself. Okay, I'll try, but I'm fighting a losing battle. Now, throw that other snowball down.
Narrator/Host
Okay.
Co-host/Companion
Oh, it broke the upstairs window. Grandmore, did you do that on purpose? No, honest, I didn't. I was aiming at the downstairs window. Oh, you were?
Now I'm going to tell. You're going to tell what? I'm going to tell everybody. He used to be a wax lieutenant.
Narrator/Host
In George Washington's army.
Co-host/Companion
You know, I'm not that old. Oh, no.
Narrator/Host
We're crossing the Delaware tonight, Lieutenant. Good.
Co-host/Companion
I'll have coffee and donuts ready at the dock.
Boy, I sure did. You excited? You're not, Grandma.
Narrator/Host
Well, I must be going.
Co-host/Companion
Where are you going to early? Mr. Fowler. Go read your Tom Tom's book, will you? Go read your Tom Tom book.
Narrator/Host
What is force did you care to go skiing, Verna?
Co-host/Companion
Oh, no, I know nothing about skiing.
Narrator/Host
Hey, Grandma, look how big his feet are.
Co-host/Companion
Those aren't his feet.
Narrator/Host
They're not?
Co-host/Companion
Boy, he sure let his toenails get.
Narrator/Host
Away from him, didn't he?
Co-host/Companion
Look at them flat top.
Narrator/Host
Boy, look at them feet.
Co-host/Companion
They sure getting a lot of vitamins lately. Those are skis, Ski.
Narrator/Host
And it's a great sport, Junior. Watch me slide down the side of this little hill.
Co-host/Companion
Oh, isn't that dangerous? Now, don't talk him out.
Narrator/Host
Let him go. He wants to show off. I'm not showing off. Junior, a good skier is proud to give an exhibition of his skill. Oh, good skiing. Ever since I learned to walk. Oh, well, here goes. There he goes.
Co-host/Companion
You let him go, boy, he's heading right for a tree.
He made it. Now he can learn to walk again. Maybe I shouldn't have tied his shoelaces together, huh?
He's all right. Yeah, well, it's too cold for me, Junior. Come on, let's go in. No, I'm gonna get two boards and tie em on my feet, make myself a pair of skis and then go sliding down the street. Oh, no, you aren't. You might bump into an automobile and dance for Fendi. Yes.
Narrator/Host
Sure does love me, don't you, huh?
Co-host/Companion
You just better forget the idea. Right. You might get going too fast and slide in a snow's rich and get buried. I don't care. I'd like to get buried in one of them snow banks. I get buried so deep like they won't be able to find me till the spring thaw, you know. Then I will be there frozen stiff, and then the vultures will find me and they'll say, oh, look at this delicious frozen food they made.
Narrator/Host
Then they will come over and have.
Co-host/Companion
Your picnic and starts pitching enough of me widow bones, you know. And you'll say, oh, what a good widow, boy. And I'll be froze stiffer than a California driver on New Year's Eve.
I will be dead. No, no, no, no. What's the matter? I scared myself.
Well, it serves you right.
Narrator/Host
Yes, served me right.
Co-host/Companion
Always singing us such weird stories. Yeah, weird.
Narrator/Host
Sorry.
Co-host/Companion
Bless his little heart. Yeah, but.
Now if you want to stay outside and play, go get the slave your grandfather made for you. Oh, no. I got things too big and it's too heavy. Oh, it isn't so heavy. Then how come I tied it on the back end of a Greyhound bus and it stole it dead, huh? Well, I'm going inside now. If you're Good. I'll buy you some candy later. Some candy for me? Yes.
Narrator/Host
How much?
Co-host/Companion
A whole big penny's worth.
We'll. Thanks, Sporty.
You come in now if you get cold.
Narrator/Host
Okay.
Co-host/Companion
Well, here I is, all alone. Anybody got heart trouble, you can leave now. I think I'll sneak over to Mr. Frank's house and see what he's doing over there. The snow is on the ground. Oh, there he is. Hello, Mr. Boy.
Narrator/Host
Come here and see what I'm making for you. Sir. No man. Snowman. A big bat with pieces of coal.
Co-host/Companion
Fries, broom in his arms.
Narrator/Host
Yes.
Co-host/Companion
What are you good for?
Narrator/Host
Everyone loves a snowman.
Co-host/Companion
Yeah? Well, what's he doing on my sled?
Narrator/Host
Get him up. That's so you can pull him over in your own yard and show your grandmother. Here's the sled rope. Pull. Easy now.
Co-host/Companion
Yeah, nice smarty neighbor. Are you? I going to take the snowman and show him to me grandma.
Hey, Grandma, come here. Look. Look what I got in the living room. Come here. Come here.
Narrator/Host
Look over for the fireplace.
Co-host/Companion
Look. Good heavens. Where did that water come from? Well, I don't know. Ask the snowman. He was here last. Oh, no. You didn't bring a snowman in the house? Yeah, I shook hands with him and he was so cold that I tried to bring him in and let him get warmed up. Oh, I give up.
Narrator/Host
We.
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Release Date: December 7, 2025
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
This episode of Harold’s Old Time Radio presents a classic 1946 broadcast of the Red Skelton Show, titled "Old Man Winter." The episode, originally aired on December 31, 1946, blends the comedic stylings of Red Skelton and his ensemble with seasonal sketches and music, evoking the cozy warmth of Golden Age radio. The show’s main themes include New Year's reflections, playful banter, and humorous takes on wintry woes, all delivered with Skelton’s trademark wit.
Cast Introductions & Festive Greetings
([01:34]–[02:25])
Resolutions & California Weather
([02:25]–[03:33])
Christmas Puppy Gift
([02:46]–[03:08])
([04:33]–[07:06])
([08:16]–[17:04])
Red Skelton performs as his beloved Wild West character, "Deadeye," portraying the hardships and absurdities of surviving an arctic winter.
Classic Gags and Banter:
Deadeye’s Romantic Subplot:
Dog-Sled Debacle:
([17:04]–[24:55])
Red Skelton performs another favorite character, "Junior," a mischievous boy interacting with his mother and grandmother during a snowy morning.
Highlights:
Physical Comedy and Wordplay:
Skiing Antics:
Junior’s Morbid Imagination:
Snowman in the Living Room:
Red Skelton (on resolutions):
"I'm making the first resolution: I'm not going to punch any tigers in the mouth this year..." ([03:37])
Dog Sled Segment:
"You see the fingers on my left hand?"
"He ain’t got no fingers on your left hand." ([16:27]–[16:34])
Junior's Winter Humor:
"Yeah, me funny bone lost the sense of humor." ([18:50])
"I'll be froze stiffer than a California driver on New Year's Eve." ([22:44])
"Ask the snowman, he was here last." ([24:35])
On California Christmas Weather:
"They gave them a pool in their backyard." ([02:36])
The episode brims with rapid-fire jokes, slapstick scenarios, and warm holiday nostalgia. Red Skelton’s delivery is light, jovial, and peppered with self-effacing humor. The supporting cast enhances the comedic atmosphere with playful banter and musical moments, making this a quintessential Golden Age radio experience.
For listeners or new fans, this episode showcases Red Skelton's comedic versatility, blending wintry misadventures and New Year's silliness with a sentimental tone, all within the inclusive, homey style of postwar American radio.