
Sam Spade 1948-07-04 Rushlight Diamond Caper
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Narrator
The Adventures of Sam Spade Detective brought to you by Wild Root Cream Oil Hair Tonic. The non alcoholic hair tonic that contains lanolin. Wild Root Cream Oil again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first.
Sam Spade
Sam Spade Detective Agency. Good evening.
Bernadine Hemp
That sounds funny in dialect. Good evening to you and Happy Fourth of July. Bernadine hemp.
Sam Spade
Oh, Mr. Spade. What was the kappa?
Bernadine Hemp
Don't you mean caper?
Sam Spade
No, the kappa. The high point of the caper. The climax. The crescendo. The pinafore.
Bernadine Hemp
That's better. For a minute I was afraid you were learning English.
Sam Spade
Oh, no. I'm studying Spanish. Soy infoles k? Nician.
Bernadine Hemp
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mucho interesting.
Sam Spade
Gracias. Shall I go home now?
Colonel Lysander Bixby
No.
Bernadine Hemp
Mal suerte. There's a little matter of murder in two languages, neither of which is Spanish. So stay where you are. I'll be right down to dictate my report on the Rushlight diamond caper.
Narrator
Dashiell Hammett, America's leading detective fiction writer and creator of Sam Spade, the Hard Boiled Private Eye, and William Speer, Ray Radio's outstanding producer director of mystery and crime Drama. Join their talents to make your hair stand on end with the Adventures of Sam Spade presented by the makers of Wild Root Cream Oil for the hair. Listen, men, to this holiday tip on good grooming to help spark up your whole appearance. First, be sure that your hair is well groomed. Be sure it's groomed with popular Wild Root Cream Oil hair tonic. Wild Root Cream Oil grooms your hair neatly and naturally. The way you like it. The way she likes it. Wildroot Cream Oil also relieves annoying dryness, removes loose, ugly dandruff. So look your best all the time by sprucing upright with Wildroot Cream Oil Hair Tonic again and again. The choice of men who put good grooming first. And now, with Howard Duff starring as Spade. Wildroot brings to the air the greatest private detective of them all in the Adventures of Sam Spade.
Bernadine Hemp
Date July 4, 1948. Two Mrs. May Rushlight, 21A Granite Court from Samuel Spade. License number 137596. Subject, the Rushlight Diamond. Dear Mrs. Rushlight, it was the kind of nice, relaxing assignment that comes my way just often enough to remind me that gum shoeing can be respectable. There was an air of quiet elegance about 21 a granite court and about the butler who answered the door. He took in my rented gray topper and doeskin gloves, nodded approvingly at my wing collar, watered silk ascot, pearl gray waistcoat, morning coat pinstripe Trousers and my spats with the mother of pearl buttons and asked me if I were a florist. I set him to rights and he led me up a flight of stairs to the early a.m. annex of your morning room, Mr. Samuel Spade.
Nancy Ward
You're just on time, Mr. Spade. Mrs. Rushlight will be pleased. I'm Nancy Ward, Mrs. Rushlight's social secretary. And if you don't think that's tough to say, try it.
Bernadine Hemp
Mrs. Rushlight's socials. What's tough about that?
Nancy Ward
You'll do. Definitely, you'll do.
Bernadine Hemp
Shall we dance?
Nancy Ward
I will dance at her wedding. But don't get me wrong. I'm not secretly in love with Ralph Rushlight. And the bride is lovely. Just hate to see all that money going down the drain.
Bernadine Hemp
Is there anything else you think I should know?
Nancy Ward
You know what your job is. You're supposed to guard the wedding presents. That's simple, because it's nothing but a lot of cheap silver. And stay away from the champagne. It's non vintage. The food will be foul. The guests of the most dismal aggregation ever assembled.
Bernadine Hemp
Sounds like a lovely party.
Nancy Ward
I arranged the whole thing. I told you. She's a lovely bride.
Bernadine Hemp
What'd she ever do to you?
Nancy Ward
I'd rather not stay. I don't want to sound bitter. This way, Mr. Spade. The old hat. Mrs. Rushlight. We'll see you now.
Bernadine Hemp
Thank you. Florence Nightingale.
Mrs. Rushlight
Nancy.
Nancy Ward
Oh, this is it, darling. Mr. Spade.
Mrs. Rushlight
Come over here, young man, so I can get a better look at you.
Bernadine Hemp
How's this?
Mrs. Rushlight
It's good. Turn around. Yes, you'll do. That'll be all, Nancy.
Nancy Ward
Couldn't I be finishing up these place cards while you talk?
Mrs. Rushlight
Take them with you. Do them outside.
Nancy Ward
Very well.
Mrs. Rushlight
Nosy girl, but nice.
Bernadine Hemp
Nice nose.
Mrs. Rushlight
Oh, you too, eh? Eh? I agree. That's why I'm marrying off my nephew to that wretched girl, Lotta Van Eyck. Have you ever seen Bugs Bunny, Mr. Spade?
Bernadine Hemp
You don't mean the.
Mrs. Rushlight
They protrude the ears. No, the teeth. As my late husband used to say of her mother, she could eat a tomato through a tennis racket. There's only one thing that'll prevent this wedding from being an utter disaster. She doesn't understand much English.
Bernadine Hemp
What's the matter with your nephew?
Mrs. Rushlight
A great deal, but it doesn't show. Suffice it to say he has criminal tendencies and the mentality of a snail.
Bernadine Hemp
Mrs. Reichlight, I don't like to seem forward, but why are you telling me all this?
Mrs. Rushlight
You're supposed to mingle with the guests. You'll need some conversation. Now, as to your assignment, the bride being what she is, the wedding presents are hardly worth guarding. Except for one. Ironically enough, it's from me.
Bernadine Hemp
What is it? A machine gun.
Mrs. Rushlight
Oh, that's good. Oh, excuse me. I must write that down and then.
Bernadine Hemp
Tear it up immediately.
Mrs. Rushlight
Oh, dear, no, no, Mr. Spade. But it's bad luck. The Rushlight Diamond. You've heard of it?
Bernadine Hemp
Something about it in the American Weekly a while back, wasn't there?
Mrs. Rushlight
Yes, yes. It's not as large as the Hope diamond, but there's not a flaw in it. My late husband, Roy Rushlight, bought it for his first wife. She sank with the SS General Slocum in Hell Gate, the East River 19 4. Over a thousand lives lost. Luckily, she was wearing a paste copy at the time. I was only a young girl when I married Mr. Rushlight, and fool that I was, I signed anything his lawyers asked me to sign. After his death, I discovered that the diamond was to be mine only until the marriage of my husband's male heir, at which time it must go to his bride.
Bernadine Hemp
Well, that's too bad. You say, though, that the Rushlight diamond is bad luck.
Mrs. Rushlight
Ah. Oh, there's that, of course. I wonder if it's too much to hope. Well, I must go and help dress the bride. Go along downstairs, Miss Spade. Take this jewel case with you. Put it on the table with the other presents and guard it well.
Bernadine Hemp
So I took the old velvet covered case you held out to me and checked the contents. It was an old fashioned lavalier with a clear stone pendant only slightly smaller than an eight ball. Didn't look like a diamond, but smooth cut diamonds hardly ever do. It didn't look like bad luck either. But a mirror broke in the hall as I passed it. Then I fell all the way down the stairs, and as I entered the ballroom, I knocked over a punch bowl. Nothing really terrible happened until just before dark when the guests began to arrive. In theory, a detective guarding wedding presents is supposed to make himself indistinguishable from the other guests. In practice, it never works out that way. He has to spend most of his time within sight of the booty, so he is very easily spotted.
Lotta Van Eyck
I don't believe it. He's too good looking.
Nancy Ward
Oh, but he must be.
Lotta Van Eyck
He's not anybody we know.
Mrs. Rushlight
Well, ask him.
Sam Spade
It's leap year.
Lotta Van Eyck
Oh, here comes Colonel Bixby. He'll know.
Bernadine Hemp
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Ralph Rushlight
Beauty gathered round the booty, eh? Much more beauty than booty, though.
Sam Spade
Say, when are they going to hang the diamond? On that drip.
Ralph Rushlight
No, no, there's no way to talk about the blushing bride.
Mrs. Rushlight
Is that it in the crummy old case there?
Ralph Rushlight
That case is heirloom, young lady. The stone that reposes in it is worth a king's ransom. Now, take your grubby hands elsewhere.
Bernadine Hemp
Be off with you.
Ralph Rushlight
Go on.
Mrs. Rushlight
Well, just because he's going to give the bride away, thinks he can order everyone around.
Ralph Rushlight
Mr. Spade, allow me to congratulate you, sir. These affairs, one all too often sees the detective on guard duty at the punch bowl.
Bernadine Hemp
I was forewarned.
Ralph Rushlight
Oh, yes, very bad. Champagne flat. I'll be glad when these ill starred nuptials are consummated. And by the way, Bixby's my name. Colonel Lysander Bixby. Colonel, it is my melancholy and thankless duty to give the bride away to the hapless groom, Ralph Rushlight. However, it's much better to give than to receive. You tell that to Mae Rushlight, eh? Quite a trink.
Bernadine Hemp
Mustn't touch grubby hands, remember?
Ralph Rushlight
Oh, sense of humor as well as sense of duty. Candidly, if I knew a place to fence in, I'd be the. Oh, Miss Ward, how lovely you Look. Poor Ralph.
Nancy Ward
Mrs. Rushlight asked me to warn you to get ready. The bride will be down any moment.
Ralph Rushlight
Good grief. Well, I suppose I must steel myself. Where did I leave my glass?
Nancy Ward
Keep your eye on that old goat, Mr. Spade. I don't trust him.
Bernadine Hemp
Who is he?
Nancy Ward
He's the only one here who knows why this wedding's happening. He's the bride's foster father.
Bernadine Hemp
You mean he's got something on the family?
Nancy Ward
You'll never know how much until you kiss the bride.
Bernadine Hemp
Look, Nancy, it's none of my business.
Nancy Ward
But I. Oh, starting. I'll have to go in now.
Bernadine Hemp
Wait.
Nancy Ward
What?
Bernadine Hemp
How does it go? Speak now or forever hold your pen.
Nancy Ward
No, I. I can't do that. Thank you for understanding.
Bernadine Hemp
I didn't witness the ceremony, but judging from the mood of those who had, it was just as well I didn't. They shuffled back into the ballroom looking as if they'd witnessed an execution. Nobody seemed to be in a hurry to join the receiving line. After a few half hearted handshakes, the groom left the bride standing alone, looking kind of bewildered, and came over to take inventory of the presents.
Narrator
Look at that junk.
Bernadine Hemp
I'm Ralph Rushlight. Who are you? Spade. I was hired to guard this junk, as you call it. Sorry I'm wasting my time. The Rushlight dime. It's bad luck. Look at what it did to me. Look at her. Did you have a sandy? Keep it to yourself. Why should I? Because I'm liable to slap you clear across this room. Haven't I been punished enough? Go on. Go on. Scram. Keep your hooks off that necklace.
Narrator
That's mine.
Bernadine Hemp
I heard it's your wife's.
Ralph Rushlight
Come along over here. Oh, Mr. Spade, you haven't met the bride yet, have you?
Bernadine Hemp
No.
Lotta Van Eyck
Thank you.
Bernadine Hemp
I wish you a lot of luck, Mrs. Rushlight. You're gonna need it.
Lotta Van Eyck
Thank you.
Mrs. Rushlight
Well, I suppose now as well as anytime, Colonel.
Ralph Rushlight
Oh, very well, my dear. Quiet, please. Quiet, everyone. Mrs. Rushlight, the old. The elder Mrs. Rushlight, that is, has something to say to you.
Mrs. Rushlight
Mr. Spade.
Bernadine Hemp
Yes?
Mrs. Rushlight
The necklace. Will you please hand it to me?
Bernadine Hemp
With pleasure. I'm tired of looking at it.
Mrs. Rushlight
Oh, you're not done yet. Stay close by my side. Dear friends, at this solemn moment, I want, first of all to welcome this dear little girl into the Rushlight family.
Lotta Van Eyck
Thank you.
Mrs. Rushlight
Yes. And now, dear Larder, I will place around your neck the gem which was my heritage when I became a Rushlight and which is now yours. Thank you. What's wrong? Lotta, come back here.
Ralph Rushlight
I'll go into the carport and head her off.
Narrator
You leave her alone.
Nancy Ward
I'll take care.
Narrator
Whose wife is she, anyhow?
Bernadine Hemp
Lotta, come back here. Lotta, bring it back. I was almost ashamed of joining the chase, but I had to, because I'd been hired to guard the Rushlight diamond. And for my money, the best way to do that was to help her get away. Somebody got to her before I did. A strip of wedding gown satin marked the spot. The body lay crumpled under a hedge. But it wasn't the bride's body. It was the groom. He'd been stabbed to death with a pair of garden shears. Which made sense. But what didn't make sense was that the necklace she'd been wearing was still clutched in his hand.
Narrator
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Bernadine Hemp
Number 21, a granite court was teeming with motives and suspects. But the police were primarily interested in locating Lotta, the missing bride and widow of Ralph Rushlight. So was I. She looked like less work than the rest of you. Because if she had killed him, it was self defense. If she knew enough English. By 10 in the a.m. when I checked in at my office, she was still successfully eluding the police Dragnet. That was because nobody, including me, had thought of looking in my office. Wow. Good morning.
Lotta Van Eyck
Thank you.
Bernadine Hemp
Is that all the English you know?
Lotta Van Eyck
Thank you.
Nancy Ward
No.
Lotta Van Eyck
I want my necklace.
Bernadine Hemp
The police have it.
Lotta Van Eyck
You go with me and tell them who I am.
Bernadine Hemp
Okay, but first I have to know who you are, where you came from, what your connection with Colonel Bixby is.
Lotta Van Eyck
I am in Macassar, being born in Macassar Dutch colony. My father there seven years ago dying is when I 13 years old have arrived. I see Colonel Bixby in San Francisco. The financial representative from my father was. I am adopted to him not for a father, but so he takes care of my money switch coming of age. Am I a rich Dutch woman?
Bernadine Hemp
Uh huh. But legally he's your foster father.
Lotta Van Eyck
Yeah. Also legally, I'm not a wife of Rushlight. I want my necklace.
Bernadine Hemp
You married him for the necklace?
Lotta Van Eyck
Yeah.
Bernadine Hemp
Why did he marry you?
Lotta Van Eyck
For one half of necklace when we sell. But all everything to take he wishes.
Bernadine Hemp
You and Ralph are gonna divvy the take from the Rushlight diamond. You?
Lotta Van Eyck
Yeah, yeah.
Bernadine Hemp
And what was the Colonel gonna get?
Lotta Van Eyck
Monies for Mrs. Rushlight.
Bernadine Hemp
Oh, no, wait, that doesn't make sense. Mrs. Rushlight stood to lose a small fortune by that marriage. Why should she pay the Colonel to promote it?
Mrs. Rushlight
You the detective are you said that.
Lotta Van Eyck
Where my necklace are That I say.
Bernadine Hemp
Yeah, well, look, I'm not as sure as I was. Wait just a minute, I'll check on it.
Colonel Lysander Bixby
Homicide. Lieutenant Dundee.
Bernadine Hemp
Spade Dundee.
Colonel Lysander Bixby
Yes, Sam.
Bernadine Hemp
What's new on the Rushlight caper?
Colonel Lysander Bixby
You know I can't talk about the case, Sam.
Bernadine Hemp
Oh, I got a line on that girl.
Colonel Lysander Bixby
Huh? Where is she?
Bernadine Hemp
You know I can't talk about that, Dundee.
Colonel Lysander Bixby
Oh, you can't can't you? Well, let's see if this doesn't change your mind. The necklace we found on Rushlight's body was a phony. A paste copy?
Bernadine Hemp
Uh huh. Does that make her guiltier than she was before?
Colonel Lysander Bixby
Well, now she's got a motive. Throws all our previous theories into a cocked hat. Now, where's the girl?
Bernadine Hemp
She's in my office, Lieutenant, dear. Come and get her.
Lotta Van Eyck
Thank you.
Nancy Ward
Oh, it's you, Sam. Back again?
Bernadine Hemp
Yeah. Do you mind?
Nancy Ward
Well, that depends on who you came to see.
Bernadine Hemp
You, sweetheart. But first I'd like to talk to Mrs. Rushlight.
Nancy Ward
Well, she can't see anyone. She's in a state of nervous collapse over the over Ralph's death.
Bernadine Hemp
Oh, that's too bad. You seem to be holding up pretty well.
Nancy Ward
I'm relieved. He's better off dead than married to that.
Bernadine Hemp
Yeah, Rushlight Diamond's still unlucky, you know.
Nancy Ward
What do you mean by that?
Bernadine Hemp
I was just trying it on for size.
Nancy Ward
Huh. Does it fit?
Bernadine Hemp
Yeah, but you and Mrs. Rushlight are about the same size. Her nerves getting any better?
Nancy Ward
You're the doctor. If you want to see her, go ahead. She's up there.
Bernadine Hemp
Thank you, Mrs. Rushlight.
Mrs. Rushlight
Go away.
Nancy Ward
I milk.
Bernadine Hemp
I'm sorry to break in on you like this, but I haven't got much time.
Nancy Ward
How dare you.
Mrs. Rushlight
Nancy. Nancy. Why is that girl. Mr. Spade, please leave me alone with my grief.
Bernadine Hemp
Funny thing. Yesterday Nancy was carrying a torch for Ralph and you were holding the torch to him. Today it's different.
Mrs. Rushlight
Oh, good heavens. You don't think I'm grief stricken over Ralph?
Bernadine Hemp
Good. That's one less mystery.
Mrs. Rushlight
Mr. Spade. What do you want?
Bernadine Hemp
Your nephew's killer.
Mrs. Rushlight
Oh, does it matter?
Bernadine Hemp
It does to me. Somebody getting knocked off right under my nose is bad for private detectives everywhere.
Mrs. Rushlight
Oh, for a moment I thought that. Say, wouldn't you rather make some more money?
Bernadine Hemp
I refuse the Mary Lotta.
Mrs. Rushlight
Oh, no, nothing like that. It's the necklace, Mr. Spade. The genuine.
Bernadine Hemp
What is?
Mrs. Rushlight
I don't know. All I know is the other one isn't.
Bernadine Hemp
Who told you that?
Mrs. Rushlight
Why, the police know. It's in the papers, isn't it?
Bernadine Hemp
Not yet.
Mrs. Rushlight
Well, how else would I learn?
Bernadine Hemp
The murderer is the only one who could have told you. Unless you're the murderer.
Mrs. Rushlight
I see. Very well, Mr. Spade, I'll tell you what I know. I'm not as wealthy as you might think. In fact, I have for four years lived from pillar to post, from hand to mouth, ragtag and bobtail struggling to make ends meet.
Bernadine Hemp
Now, what you mean is you're eking out a meager existence, keeping your head above water, one jump ahead of the sheriff, stalked by the grim specter of poverty. Is that right?
Mrs. Rushlight
Oh, how well you put it. In fact, Mr. Spade, I'm something of a crook. I've borrowed large sums of money from Colonel Bixby, putting up as collateral something that was not mine to forfeit.
Bernadine Hemp
Uh, don't tell me. Let me guess. Uh, it was the Rushlight diamond.
Mrs. Rushlight
Well, you seem to know everything.
Bernadine Hemp
All but one thing. Why did you think you could palm off a paste copy on an operator like Bixby?
Mrs. Rushlight
He sent you here. I won't tell you another single thing.
Bernadine Hemp
Well, then I'll tell you a few things. The only way the Rushlight diamond could be transferred legally into the hands of Colonel Bixby was by tricking Ralph into marriage with Lotta. Since Ralph's wife automatically became the legal owner. With Ralph dead, Bixby would be in line to inherit the diamond from her.
Mrs. Rushlight
Inherit?
Bernadine Hemp
California state law. Foster parent may inherit from a foster child an absence of any direct heir.
Mrs. Rushlight
Well, then he planned he. He'd kill her, too. Mr. Spade, we must stop him.
Bernadine Hemp
She's safe for the time being. I had her thrown into the poky. They can hold her 48 hours for questioning, but they can hold you longer. They can even hold you as an accessory before the fact.
Mrs. Rushlight
Why?
Sam Spade
Why?
Mrs. Rushlight
I. I didn't know he was going to kill anyone.
Bernadine Hemp
Lotta was just gonna hand over a million buck diamond to Bixby out of the kindness of her heart.
Mrs. Rushlight
Oh, no. Lotta wanted to become an American citizen. Marriage is the quickest way for her. Ralph was the only way.
Bernadine Hemp
Okay, I'll buy that. Now, tell me honestly, Mrs. Rushlight, what happened to the genuine stone?
Mrs. Rushlight
I honestly didn't know. I wasn't sure. But now there can be only one answer.
Bernadine Hemp
Nancy.
Mrs. Rushlight
With a laughing face, she went with me when I went to the bank vault to get the Rushlight diamond to present to Lotta. After the ceremony, she looked after all my jewels, including the paste copy that I habitually wore.
Bernadine Hemp
Homicide, Lieutenant Dundee Spade again. Dundee, I think I got the Rushlight caper all wrapped up. I'm heading for your office now, so wait for me. And whatever you do, don't let that lot of dame out of your sight. Thank you. Goodbye.
Colonel Lysander Bixby
Wait a minute, Sam. Wait a minute. Yeah, the lotter dame. She's already gone.
Bernadine Hemp
Escape.
Colonel Lysander Bixby
Bailed out custody of her foster father. Wait a minute. I got the name here, sir.
Bernadine Hemp
Bixby. He's a colonel and no Wonder you're only a lieutenant.
Mrs. Rushlight
But, Mr. Spade. Counter. Stay fatigued.
Bernadine Hemp
Not thirsty. Nancy. Nancy, where are you?
Nancy Ward
Here I am, sir. Sam, I. I was waiting for you.
Bernadine Hemp
You got the keys to that car out in front?
Nancy Ward
Why, yes. Do you want to borrow it?
Bernadine Hemp
Yes. With you in it?
Nancy Ward
Why, Sam. Wait till I put my face on.
Bernadine Hemp
Let it go. It's as good as lost anyway. Come on.
Nancy Ward
What is this place? Where are you taking me?
Bernadine Hemp
Never mind. Just hang on. I'll fly you up to the second floor.
Nancy Ward
Sam, that was a shot that sounded like Lotto.
Bernadine Hemp
You stay here. Don't come in until I call you. Get back in there. Drop it.
Mrs. Rushlight
No.
Bernadine Hemp
Drop it or I'll crack your elbow. That's better. Now sit down. Look this over. Looks real cute. Powder burns. Gun beside the chair. And what's this? Well, well, well. A note in Dutch.
Ralph Rushlight
It's a suicide note. She killed herself.
Bernadine Hemp
I can almost believe that. You've handled this very well, considering the bad breaks you've had. Only one thing wrong do I send to bargain. I don't have to bargain. I've got the diamond. All you've got is two murders wrapping on your thick noggin.
Ralph Rushlight
Don't be absurd. I know who has the real necklace.
Bernadine Hemp
And you better talk to her directly. You can come in now.
Nancy Ward
Sam, was that. Oh, that poor, homely little dame. What did she ever do?
Bernadine Hemp
Stop. You're breaking my heart. She committed suicide.
Nancy Ward
You know better than that.
Bernadine Hemp
She committed suicide. If the colonel's price is right.
Nancy Ward
Oh, I see.
Ralph Rushlight
I'll put it to you directly. It's not easy to fence. It'll have to be cut. That'll decrease the value considerably. Say $10,000, no questions asked.
Bernadine Hemp
Pardon me. That suicide shot, it's ringing in my ears. I can't hear you.
Ralph Rushlight
20,050. All right, 100,000.
Nancy Ward
Sam, don't be a fool. Take it.
Bernadine Hemp
I'll give you a real break. Colonel. That's the cops coming after you.
Ralph Rushlight
Anything, Spade. What do you want me to do?
Bernadine Hemp
I want you to try and get out of here.
Ralph Rushlight
What are you going to do?
Bernadine Hemp
There's the door. Go ahead.
Ralph Rushlight
All right.
Bernadine Hemp
Thank you, Colonel.
Ralph Rushlight
All right, men.
Colonel Lysander Bixby
Remember, he's desperate. Bixby, we're giving you a chance. Come down or we're coming up after you.
Bernadine Hemp
Come on. Come on, get up. Colonel, here he comes.
Narrator
Kevin, it may be a trick.
Bernadine Hemp
Watch it, Dundee. Here he comes. And that, Mrs. Rushlight, is the crop for a man that went down fighting. Colonel Bixby didn't need much persuading once they got him under the lights down at headquarters, he confessed to everything. And the murders weren't the worst of it. The way I figure the worst of it was the cruel way he victimized the poor little ugly duckling. Lotta Van Eyck. It's tough enough to be whipped before you start. Period. End of report.
Sam Spade
My goodness, that was mooie triste. I mean, I'm beginning to see why Effie gets so repressed sometimes.
Bernadine Hemp
Effie depressed? That little doll told you that?
Sam Spade
Only between she and I and the lamppost. She's so sensitive, you know. Not like I, of course. I invariably cry at weddings.
Bernadine Hemp
You don't say. Bernadine, you attend weddings often with high frequency, Mr. Spade? You mean frequently?
Sam Spade
No, no, the last time it was fm. You know, frequency, moderation.
Bernadine Hemp
Oh, yes, yes, yes. Moderation and all things I always say. You mean you attend radio weddings?
Sam Spade
Oh, yeah. I've been married six times. My next date is television.
Bernadine Hemp
You've been married six times?
Sam Spade
Well, to each his own, Mr. Spade.
Bernadine Hemp
You mean six men have.
Sam Spade
Oh, no, no. I only marry my husband. Repetition is the spice of variety, I always say.
Bernadine Hemp
Is that legal?
Sam Spade
If it's not after six weddings, what isn't?
Bernadine Hemp
To each his own, as you say.
Sam Spade
Well, we don't presume to make a career out of it. As soon as we get the mangler and the deep freeze, we're going on our honeymoon.
Bernadine Hemp
Well, congratulations. And type this up when you have the time, Mrs. Bernadine Hemp.
Narrator
Every day, more and more men are turning to wild root cream oil for truly handsome hair. And that's not surprising. For what other leading hair tonic gives you these big advantages? It grooms the hair neatly and naturally relieves dryness, removes loose dandruff. What's more, wild root cream oil is non alcoholic and contains soothing lanolin. No wonder wild root cream oil is the favorite with so many millions of smart Particular men get wild root cream oil again and again. The choice of men who put good grooming first.
Sam Spade
Well, here it is, Mr. Spade. I'm sorry it took so long, but I kept relapsing into Spanish and Ethy's typewriter doesn't have any upside down question marks.
Bernadine Hemp
Upside down? Take a memo. Call typewriter man.
Sam Spade
I already have. Oh, I almost forgot. You received a telegramic commutation.
Bernadine Hemp
A telegramic what?
Sam Spade
A wire.
Bernadine Hemp
Oh, a wire. Well, open it and read it in English.
Sam Spade
Pour favor, it says. Dear Sam figures in the haste of my departure, I neglected to warn you about. Well, when I do that one another favor, she'll have silver threads Who? That ball of fire whom I'm taking the place of in order to be double crossed of by Effie.
Bernadine Hemp
Is she still in Far off Kanab.
Sam Spade
And good rubbish if you'll pardon the expression.
Bernadine Hemp
Oh, Bernadine, let me see that. I. I neglected to warn you about Bernadine. Am sending the Thales airmail special. But in the meantime, whatever you do, don't go to any radio broadcasts with her. And if she comes to and a wedding gown. Take the day off, love.
Sam Spade
Effie and I had two tickets for honeymoon payoff and now she went and spoiled everything.
Bernadine Hemp
Ah, now there, Bernadine. You just have to marry your husband again, that's all. I wouldn't have had the time anyway.
Sam Spade
I know. It's just the principle. Good night, Mr. Spade.
Bernadine Hemp
Good night. Buenos nachos. Hasta la vista, Effie. Why did you ever leave me?
Narrator
The adventures of Sam Spade, Dashiell Hammett's famous private detective are produced and directed by William Speer. Sam Spade is played by Howard Duff. The adventures of Sam Spade are written for radio by Bob Tolman and Gilbert Dowd with musical direction by Lud Gluskin. Gil Dowd directed tonight's broadcast in William Spears absence. Join us again next Sunday for another adventure with Sam Spade brought to you by Wild Root Cream Oil. Again and again the choice of men who put good grooming first. This is Dick Joy reminding you to get Wild Root Cream Oil, Charlie. It keeps your hair in trim. You see, it's non alcoholic, Charlie. It's made with soothing lanolin. You better get Wild Root Cream Oil, Charlie. Start using it today. You'll find that you will have a tough time, Charlie. Keepin all the gals away. Hiya baldy. Get wild root right away. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.
Bernadine Hemp
SA.
Summary of "Sam Spade 1948-07-04 Rushlight Diamond Caper" - Harold's Old Time Radio
Release Date: January 8, 2025
Harold's Old Time Radio transports listeners back to the Golden Age of Radio with its latest episode, "Sam Spade 1948-07-04 Rushlight Diamond Caper." Starring Howard Duff as the iconic private detective Sam Spade and directed by William Speer, this episode weaves a classic tale of mystery, deceit, and intrigue set against the backdrop of a Fourth of July celebration in 1948.
The episode opens with the familiar introduction to Sam Spade Detective Agency. A humorous exchange between Sam Spade and Bernadine Hemp highlights Spade's quirky use of language, setting a lighthearted tone:
As the scene unfolds, Bernadine Hemp is introduced as the narrator and detective protagonist, who is approached by Mrs. May Rushlight to guard a valuable item—the Rushlight Diamond—during her upcoming wedding.
Bernadine arrives at the elegant residence of Mrs. Rushlight at 21 A Granite Court, where she meets Nancy Ward, Mrs. Rushlight's social secretary. Their conversation hints at underlying tensions and foreshadows impending conflict:
Mrs. Rushlight provides Bernadine with details about the diamond and the upcoming wedding, emphasizing the diamond's significance and the potential for bad luck:
Bernadine inspects the jewel case, discovering it's an imitation:
As the guests begin to arrive, Bernadine blends in to monitor the wedding presents. However, her role as a detective makes her stand out:
Tensions escalate when Ralph Rushlight, the groom, is found dead under suspicious circumstances, clutching the imitation necklace:
The discovery of Ralph's body transforms the wedding into a crime scene, setting the stage for Bernadine's investigation.
Bernadine delves deeper into the circumstances surrounding Ralph's death:
Interactions with Colonel Lysander Bixby reveal a complex web of deceit involving the Rushlight Diamond:
The revelation that the genuine diamond is missing heightens the stakes, indicating a larger conspiracy at play.
As Bernadine confronts Mrs. Rushlight and Colonel Bixby, the true nature of the Rushlight Diamond affair comes to light:
A confrontation ensues, leading to Colonel Bixby's arrest and confession:
The episode concludes with Bernadine reflecting on the case and the moral complexities involved:
A humorous and light-hearted exchange between Sam Spade and Bernadine provides closure, maintaining the classic charm of old-time radio dramas.
"Rushlight Diamond Caper" stands as a quintessential example of Golden Age radio drama, combining sharp dialogue, intricate plotting, and memorable characters. Through Bernadine Hemp's astute investigation and Sam Spade's enduring persona, the episode offers listeners a captivating journey through betrayal, greed, and the relentless pursuit of truth. This installment not only entertains but also honors the rich legacy of radio storytelling that once united families around their radios for unforgettable adventures.