The Great Gildersleeve 42-01-11 (020) Gildy Arrested as Car Thief

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Great Gildersleeve 42-01-11 (020) – Gildy Arrested as Car Thief

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Air Date: January 10, 2026
Original Broadcast Date: January 11, 1942
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Great Gildersleeve, “Gildy Arrested as Car Thief,” follows the misadventurous journey of Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve and his nephew Leroy as they attempt to travel to Fairview for a Junior Rabbit Breeder show. Through a series of mix-ups, they inadvertently end up driving a car loaded with explosives and are mistaken for car thieves—resulting in much confusion, run-ins with the law, and classic comedic banter.

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Key Discussion Points and Story Beats

1. Preparation for the Trip

• Gildersleeve prepares for his trip with Leroy and their crate of four rabbits, shepherded by the family maid, Birdie.
• Comedic confusion as Gildersleeve searches for his belongings, mixes up items, and reminds Leroy about mailing a critical letter (03:00–04:10).
• Accidentally, Gildersleeve sends their train tickets to Cousin Flora and keeps the letter (06:07–06:25).

Gildersleeve [06:17]: “Look, here’s my letter to cousin Flora. I must have sent her the railroad tickets! Oh, now she’ll think I want her and that loud husband of hers to come here.”

2. The Travel Snafu: No Tickets, Let’s Drive

• With their train tickets gone, Gildersleeve decides they’ll drive instead.
• Gildersleeve and Leroy load up the rabbits and hit the road, navigating rough roads and exchanging playful quips (07:09–08:41).

Gildersleeve [07:29]: “It’s had more hairpins than a dime store. And what’s more, it’s full of charley holes.”
Leroy [07:29]: “Don’t you mean chuck holes, Uncle Mort?”

3. Encounter at the Roadside Diner

• At a roadside diner, Gildersleeve offends the road superintendent, McGuire, by criticizing road conditions (09:05–10:43).
• Gildersleeve unknowingly switches cars with Commissioner Francis X. Toby’s lookalike vehicle—the real commissioner’s car has explosives for an emergency road project (11:16–11:32).

Gildersleeve [09:57]: “Looks like it was surveyed through the bottom of a beer bottle. Yes, and built by a hillbilly with the hiccups.”

4. Mistaken Identity and Police Chase

• The authorities are alerted after the Commissioner discovers his car is missing (11:32–12:16).
• Police chase Gildersleeve and Leroy, who are unknowingly driving the explosive-laden car (13:28–14:34).

5. The Arrest and Interrogation

• A tense and comedic scene unfolds as Gildersleeve and Leroy are apprehended, searched, and accused of stealing the commissioner’s car and transporting explosives (16:43–18:14).
• Gildersleeve tries to clear his name by calling Birdie at home, but due to the mixed-up story about tickets and cars, confusion reigns (18:37–25:08).

Captain Webster [19:01]: “We’re holding a man with a stolen car loaded with explosives. He claims to be Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve.”
Birdie [19:01]: “Mr. Gildersleeve ain’t in Millville. He done took the train for Fairview today.”

6. Resolution: Comedy of Errors Cleared Up

• Commissioner Toby arrives, realizes the mistake, and vouches for Gildersleeve, leading to a reluctant release by the authorities (20:04–20:16).

Toby [19:57]: “Oh, dry up, you big wet blanket. You ought to be thankful you’re getting out of this mess without going to jail.”

• Meanwhile, Birdie at home discovers the real car is missing—now Gildersleeve is suspected of stealing his own car (22:17–24:52).

7. Arrival at the Rabbit Show: One Last Mix-Up

• At the Fairview Convention Hall, Gildersleeve and Leroy discover they retained the train tickets (not the show passes) after all. The rabbit show passes had been sent to Cousin Flora (26:24–27:01).

Gildersleeve [26:46]: “Old suffering whales. Leroy, these are our railroad tickets.”
Leroy [26:49]: “Well, I’ve had them and we could have come by train all the time.”

• Gildersleeve briefly relives confusion about whether they have the right car, fearing he has the commissioner’s vehicle with explosives again (27:16–27:43).

8. Winding Down: Pop Culture Nod

• To pass the time, Uncle Mort and Leroy decide to catch the comedy movie “Look Who’s Laughing” featuring stars from the golden age of radio, including Gildersleeve himself (29:35–30:15).

Leroy [30:06]: “Oh, I almost forgot. And Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve.”
Gildersleeve [30:11]: “That’s right!”
Leroy [30:14]: “‘Look Who’s Laughing!’”
Commissioner Toby [30:15]: “Good night.”

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Memorable Quotes and Moments

• On Traveling with Leroy and Birdie

  Gildersleeve [03:28]: “Anybody think we’d never gone anyplace before?”

• Classic Mix-Up

  Gildersleeve [06:17]: “Look, here’s my letter to cousin Flora. I must have sent her the railroad tickets!”

• On Rough Roads

  Gildersleeve [07:29]: “It’s had more hairpins than a dime store... it’s full of charley holes.”

• Sparking the Official’s Ire

  Gildersleeve [09:57]: “Looks like it was surveyed through the bottom of a beer bottle. Yes, and built by a hillbilly with the hiccups.”

• Police Mix-Up

  Captain Webster [19:01]: “We’re holding a man with a stolen car loaded with explosives. He claims to be Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve.”
  Birdie [19:05]: “Oh, that can’t be. Mr. Gildersleeve’s car’s resting right here in the garage.”

• Comic Switcheroo at the Rabbit Show Gate

  Gildersleeve [26:46]: “Leroy, these are our railroad tickets.”
  Leroy [26:49]: “We could have come by train all the time.”

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Detailed Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:00–04:10]: Packing comedy and ticket mix-up
• [06:07–06:25]: Realizing tickets have been sent by mistake
• [09:05–10:43]: Insulting the road superintendent—sparks set up for later confusion
• [11:16–12:16]: Commissioner discovers car is missing, sets police on Gildersleeve
• [13:28–14:34]: Police stop Gildersleeve and mistaken commendation
• [16:43–18:14]: Gildersleeve and Leroy arrested and searched
• [18:37–19:01]: Attempting to clear the confusion over the phone
• [20:04–20:16]: Commissioner intervenes, Gildersleeve freed
• [26:24–27:01]: Arrival at the rabbit show only to discover they have the wrong tickets
• [29:35–30:16]: Deciding to go to the movies and closing banter

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Episode Tone & Feel

The tone is classic, warm radio comedy, filled with family banter, bumbling misunderstandings, wordplay, and good-natured skewering of authority. It’s a showcase of mid-century humor, running gags about bureaucracy, and the enduring theme of everyday life turning to farce.

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Conclusion

This episode exemplifies The Great Gildersleeve’s hallmark style: the harmless chaos of family adventures gone wrong, the humor of compounded misunderstandings, and the delight of golden age radio performance. For both new and longtime fans, it’s a prime slice of American radio comedy—timed, nuanced, and lovingly executed.

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Transcript

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[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

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[Narrator/Announcer]

Craft presents the great Guelder Sleeve. Each week at this time from Hollywood, California, Craft presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Slave. Written by Leonard L. Levinson. We'll hear from the Great Gildersleeve in just a moment. But first, times like these call for real threat. Yes, we must save money to buy defense bonds to help in any way we can. But we must be careful to economize wisely, especially when we economize on food, because the health and well being that comes from nourishing food are vitally important too. That's why Delicious Parquet Margarine the modern margarine made by Craft is is a good thing to know about these days. First, parquet is so good tasting your family will want to spread it thick on toast, hot rolls and bread. And parquet margarine is an economical source of food values important to a balanced diet. Parquet is a wholesome, nourishing food, one of the best sources of food energy there is. What's more, serving your family parquet margarine is a dependable way to give them Vitamin a because every pound of Park A contains 9,000 units of this important vitamin. So why not start serving parquet margarine tomorrow? It's perfectly delicious for table use and for baking and pan frying too. Yes, you can economize wisely without sacrificing nourishment or flavor if you use parquet spelled P A R K A Y. And now let's visit our friend the Great Gildersleeve, who has, as you know, a nephew named Leroy who has, as you probably don't know, four rabbits named respectively Eeny, Meeny, Minie, and possibly mo. Right now they are preparing to go to Fairview, where Leroy is to represent his school at the Junior Rabbit Breeder show, and all six of them are quite hopped up about the trip.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Now. Take it easily, Roy. Just be like me. No use getting all excited about this. Not at all. Where's My briefcase.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Under your arm.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Hunk.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What? Oh. Oh, yes. How did it ever get there? Now, about my suitcase. Handkerchiefs, socks. Birdie.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Yes, Mr. Gilsey.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Never mind.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I found him.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Found what, Mr. Gilsey?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

His socks.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Well, what about.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I found him.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Well, why shouldn't you? There's right there all the time.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, yes, I know he found him.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Then why call me?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Because I couldn't find him.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

But I thought you said.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, never mind. My goodness. Anybody think we'd never gone anyplace before?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Well, it's pretty exciting for me, Uncle Mort. Baby. 300 miles.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Jeepers, Leroy, you talk like you'd been chained up in the coal cellar all your life. Didn't you fly to California and back last year?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Well, sure, Aunt.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Yes, sir. And we automoted all over the 47 states two years ago.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

There are 48 states, Bertie.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Yes, I know that. But when we was in Florida, they never heard of California. And when we was in California, the visor was birthed.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, anyway, Leroy, you've done a great deal of traveling for a boy your age. And another 300 miles shouldn't mean any more than going down to the corner on Saturday morning for the Sunday morning papers.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Good creepers. Uncle Mort, we're going on the train. I never been on a train.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, my goodness. Modern youth. Why, when I was just a baby. I can't seem to find my military brushes. Where are they, Bertie?

[Birdie (Maid)]

I put them in your happy rock bag, Mr. Gil.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Sleeve in my what?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Bertie, could you perchance mean Gladstone bag? Yeah, that's it.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Yes.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Happy Rock. Well, I guess that's everything. Wait a minute, Leroy.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Yes, Unc?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Did you mail that letter I gave you last night?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Which letter? Oh, yes, of course I did.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Good. It was to cousin Flora telling her and her husband we're coming to stay with them while we're in Fairview. Won't they be surprised?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Why? Why, Uncle Mort?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, because it's an answer to a letter they sent fishing around for an invitation to visit us.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Good thing they ain't coming this week with Ms. Marge out of town at that Red Cross training school.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes. Well, are you sure you've got everything you need, Leroy?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Positive.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Say, if you gonna be on that train when it leaves, you better get mobilized. Where's your rabbits, Leroy?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Out in the hall in that wooden box. The manual training class built it especially for them.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Well, they did a bum job, Leroy. That box is full of holes.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Holes? Well, that's so the little creatures won't get asphyxiated, Birdie.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Yes, that'll Help them breathe, too. Shall I call up and get you a taxi?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Taxi? No, thank you, Bertie. We can pick up one at the drugstore. If we can't, it'll be the first thing I haven't been able to get at that drugstore. Come on, Leroy, let's get going.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Okay, Unk. So long, birdie. Don't let any Japs get you.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Quit picking all those South Sea folks, Leroy.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Come on, young man. I'll take the suitcases. You bring that crate of clover crunches. If Marjorie gets back to town before we do, Birdie, you tell her where we went.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Yes, sir. I'll tell her that you had to act as a convoy for a bunch of dumb bunnies. And then she'll say, never mind.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I know what you. Goodbye.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Goodbye, Bernie.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Bye, Ms. Gilson.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Bye, Levore. I hope we haven't forgotten anything. Uncle Morris, have you got the tickets?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes. Tickets? Don't be ridiculous. Tickets. Oh, wait a minute. I better look to make sure. Yes, here's the envelope. Yo. Great Caesar's ghost.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

What's wrong, Uncle Mort?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Look, here's my letter to cousin Flora. I must have sent her the railroad tickets. Oh, now she'll think I want her and that loud husband of hers to come here.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Oh, gee, now how are we gonna get to Fairview? Does this mean we're not going?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Now, wait a minute. Don't rattle me, Leroy. Don't rattle me. No time to get reservations. The next train won't get us there in time. Oh, for what a thick head I turned out to be.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

So, Eric, how about driving?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, it's driving me. Wait a minute. Driving? Why, of course. Let's get the car. Come on. We can put the rabbits in the rear compartment, load up on gasoline and beat the train to Fairview. That was a fine suggestion. You're a bright boy, Leroy.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Gee, I don't know about that, Unc. I just suggested myself out of my first ride on a railro.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

How far is it to the next town, Leroy?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Well, according to the sign we passed 10 miles ago, it's 3 miles, while according to the map, it's 6. But according to all the houses around here, we're almost there.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Thank goodness. I hope the road gets better from here on. So far it's been terrible. It's had more hairpins than a dime store. And what's more, it full of charley holes.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Don't you mean chuck holes, Uncle Morse?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, but this is a road I don't want to become familiar with, Leroy.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Yeah, we haven't hit a straight stretch for hours?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

That's right. For every mile forward that we go, we travel two from side to side and three up and down. This isn't a road, it's a la conga line. Why, when I think of.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Oh.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

We almost went in the ditch that time.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Why don't you try driving in the ditch? It might be smoother.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, Leroy, this is no time to horse around. Well, if there was a horse around, I'd trade it in for this car.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

You know, I'm getting kind of hungry.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Hungry? Well, so am I. Strange how much exercise you can get just bouncing up and down, isn't it?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Let's stop and eat at the next stop and eat.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

All right. That place up ahead doesn't look bad. However, we're so far behind schedule, let's just get some sandwiches to eat along the way.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Okay.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Come on, Leroy.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

I'm right with you, Unc.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, my. And to think if we hadn't mailed those tickets, we'd have been sitting in a comfortable train counting the telephone poles instead of dodging them. Let's sit here at the counter, eh?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Hi, Uncle Mort.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Just my eyes, Leroy. Funny, I'd swear I was seeing gravy spots in front of them.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

That's easy, Unc. You're looking at the waiter's apron.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah. Oh, of course. Yeah, that's it. What'll you have, Leroy?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

A ham sandwich.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Same thing for me, Waiter. And we'll take them with us. Say, look, they've got cherry pie. Leroy, would you care for a slice?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

No, thanks, Unc. After that road we were on, I couldn't stand anything else with pits in it.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

How long did it take you to drive from Fairview, Mr. Toby?

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Oh, about seven hours.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

McGuire.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

At this rate, I should be in Summerfield by 10:00 o'clock tonight.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Excuse me, gentlemen, but I couldn't help overhearing that last remark. Don't count on getting to Summerfield by 10 o'clock tonight, sir. No?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Why not?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Because these blasted roads are in a blasted condition.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Oh, you don't like our roads, eh?

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Now, McGuire, take it easy. What's wrong with our roads?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What is it? And you take it easy too, mister. Don't get angry at me just because I warned you about that collection of bumpy ruts ahead of you.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

I accept that as a personal insult.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Huh?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Gee whiz, is it your road?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Well, I'm the superintendent of road maintenance for this section. And this is State Highway Commissioner Toby.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah. What am I supposed to do? Get down on my hands and knees and bump my head on the floor.

[Narrator/Announcer]

What?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

If you think I'm gonna back up and crawl, Commissioner, you're mistaken. I've done all my backing up and crawling for the day on that blankety blank road of yours this afternoon.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Say, I don't like your attitudes.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

And I don't like your highway. Looks like it was surveyed through the bottom of a beer bottle. Yes, and built by a hillbilly with the hiccups.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Now, look here, you're doing Mr. McGuire an injustice. He and his men have been constructing that road for the past six years.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I know that. I saw the signs all along the way. Slow men at work.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Well, that's enough. I'm gonna hand this guy a pasteful of fist. Let me add him that morning.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, here's our sandwiches, Leroy. Mister, you're mighty lucky we're in a hurry. Come on, Leroy, let's stop tearing down the commissioner's highway and start tearing down the commissioner's highway.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Okay, Unc, I'm coming. Gee, you certainly told him off, didn't you?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah. Did you see the look on that guy Maguire's face, huh?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Ain't you gonna finish your stay, Commissioner?

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Now the mood's gone, I might as well get started. No, waiter, the check.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Let me pay for it. No, no.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Well, all right.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Hey, waiter, keep the change. Now, Commissioner, don't let that big blimp get your goat. What does a mug like that know about the heartaches of building roads?

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Yes, you're right, McGuire. Hey, I thought I parked my car about here.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Are you sure?

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

I think so. I remember it was near this truck.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Oh, here it is, Commissioner.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

That's strange. Could someone have moved it? Hey, hold on a minute, Mac. That isn't my car.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

It ain't? It certainly looks like it.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Sure, it's same make, same model, same color. But those aren't my official license plates.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Hey, that's right.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Oh, now I wonder who could have been so chuckle headed as to pull a trick like this.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Brock Morton P. Gildersleeve.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What do you mean?

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

What are you talking about?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

That's the name of the bird that owns this car. Here's his registration certificate.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Well, we gotta get that car of mine back, McGuire. We gotta send out a police warning over the radio to the highway patrol.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Sure, Commissioner, we'll get it back all right. You needn't worry or get excited.

[Narrator/Announcer]

You don't understand.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

There's been a rock slide on the road near Summerfield in an emergency. And I've got 100 pounds of explosives in the rear Compartment of my car.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

You notice how much more pep the car seems to have now, Leroy? I really get a bang out of driving a car with oomph.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Yeah. Careful of that bump. Bump?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes. Oh, quite a bounce, wasn't it? I can't get over how much better the car runs. If it keeps up like this, it'll feel as if we had wings. Leroy. Hold on. Here comes Kirk.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

You better go easy on those tires, Unc. Remember, you can't get any new ones until the FBI investigates you and finds out you're an ambulance or something.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, well, these tires are good for thousands of miles yet. Leroy.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

What?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Hey, these roads. I hope that didn't hurt any of our little cottontail cuties in the rear there. Well, I guess they're well padded.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

I can hear the box bouncing up and down.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

You can?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Maybe I better get it and hold it in my lap.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No, no, don't do that. They'll be happier if they don't get a look at this road. Besides, look out for that red lantern. What red lantern? Oh, that red lantern. No wonder I couldn't see it. A big pile of dirt behind it. Leroy. Well, here's the end of the detour. Now I'm really going to hit it up at Leroy.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Yes, Uncle Mort?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I want you to keep a sharp lookout and back. If you see any highway patrol cars with red lights flashing and cops in them, you just nudge me, understand?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Yes, Uncle Moore.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Good.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I don't expect to get. Oh, Leroy, don't bump me.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

That wasn't a bump, Bunk. That was a nudge.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Nudge. Oh, my goodness. Yes. Now I can see him. I better stop, eh? I can't imagine what in the world I've done.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Well, Uncle Ford, I have an idea.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Be quiet, young man. Oh, here they come. Good evening, boys.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Good evening, Chief.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Chief, he thinks I'm an Indian. What can I do for you boys?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Just stay where you are, sir.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

We'll have the fire out in a minute. Yes, Fire just one of your rear brakes.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

We need that extinguisher, Mike here. Yeah, Sid. Hey, butt in your coat. It's the commissioner.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Thanks. Say, what's going on back there, boy?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Nothing to get excited about, Chief. One of the brakes must have locked.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Oh, my goodness, it's monkey. Before I got to that box of rabbits. I better look to see how they are.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

No, Leroy, they're probably sleeping. Let's let sleeping rabbits lie.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

I don't think any harm was done. You'll just watch your breaks for a ways, Chief.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, thank you very much Boys, anytime I can do anything for you, I get a card here someplace. Oh, we know who you are. Oh, you do? Well, I never knew I was that famous.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Sure, you're a big man in this state, Sid. He'd be a big man in any state.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, well, I gotta be getting along now. Goodbye, boys.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Goodbye, sir. Goodbye, sir. Now, there's a genuine guy, the commissioner. Yeah. Don't act no different than you and me. You or I, Sid.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

You know, he's a lot better looking.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Than his pictures do him justice. Yeah, but don't you think he's a little fatter? No, not fatter, Sid.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Heavier.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Setter. You see, fatter isn't a respectful way to describe a state commissioner. Yeah, but on him it looks good. Well, let's get into the heap and start rolling again.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Attention all highway patrols.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Hey, listen.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Be on lookout for large gray sedan, license 4X669.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

That number's familiar.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

A state car assigned to Highway Commissioner Toby.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Oh, that guy that was just here.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Taken from Junction Grill an hour ago by stout man and a small boy with a black mustache.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

A small, small.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

A small boy with a black mustache. Hey, that's the guy who.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Why, that fat rat.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Handle situation with care, boys. Rear end of car is loaded with explosives.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Come on, Mike, let's go get him. There they are, right up ahead. Get closer.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Hey, what are you doing?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Shooting at the rear tires.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Hey, wait a minute.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

That car's full of explosives. Oh, my gosh. Don't get too close, Mike. Okay, I'll drop back.

[Birdie (Maid)]

But what do we do?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Say, look at him go. Let's train him till he slows up. If he slows up before he blows up.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, we've been making good time, my boy. I thought we better stop here in Millville and get some gasoline. Where is that attendant?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

I think I'll get out and take a look at the rabbits, Uncle Moore.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, that's a good idea. That road was so rough, I bet those hares stood on end. Oh, say, Leroy, the police chaps again.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

All right, stick em up, you two.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Stick em up.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, hello, boys. Practicing.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Get em up quick, Fato, if that's all.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Say, what's the idea, you two?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Get him up now.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Search him, Mike.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Here, here, here, here. You need to be so rough. You've broken a couple of my cigars.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Well, they haven't got any guns on them, Sid. Okay, put down your hands, but don't pull any funny business.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

You two.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What's the meaning of this unwarranted outrage?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Hey, get him.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

That's what we did, didn't we?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

You stole the highway commissioner's car and it's loaded with explosives.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

What's this about the commissioner's car?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Take a peek at those official license plates.

[Narrator/Announcer]

What?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Gee, Unc, how did they get there?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

They were framed. I mean, we were framed, Leroy. Well, at least there's nothing to this explosive. Nonsense. You officers can look in the rear compartment and see for yourselves.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Okay, take a look, Sid.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Sure. Won't he be surprised, Leroy?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

You see, it's just rabbits, Officer.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Oh, yeah.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Come here, Mike. Does this look like rabbits to you? Nah. To me it looks like a case of explosives.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, if you were a rabbit and went through what we've been through, you'd feel like exploding yourself.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Why don't you come back here and look for yourselves?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, come on, let's show these stupid. Oh, my goodness. Leroy.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Uncle. What's it trembling like that for?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Look at that box. Blasting powder. Whose car is this? Who slipped it to me? How did that dynamite get in there?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

That's what we aim to find out, brother. Good.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Who'll we ask you?

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Me?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Yes, come on.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Say, where are you taking us?

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

To the Millville police Station. You're gonna hold a little quiz, kid?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, sir. There must be a reasonable explanation for all this. If we could only take you. For the last time, Captain. Will you telephone our home in Summerfield so that our maid can identify us?

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Now, just keep your shirt on, Stuffy. I put in a call a few minutes ago. I bet that's it now.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, thank goodness, Bertie. We'll clear this right up. Leroy. Hello?

[Birdie (Maid)]

Hello.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Who's this calling long distance from Millville?

[Birdie (Maid)]

Oh, I know the answer to that one. It sure is.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

This is the police department. We're holding a man with a stolen car loaded with explosives. He claims to be throckmorton P. Gildersleeve.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Mr. Gillesleeve ain't in Millville. He done took the train for Fairview today.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Oh, he took the train, huh?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

The train. Ooh, I've gotta tell her about that. Let me go.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Don't get away from this phone. This man claims he drove this car as far as Junction City.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Oh, that can't be. Mr. Gillsleeve's car's resting right here in the garage.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Well, in that case, I was right all along. Sorry I troubled you.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Goodbye. Goodbye. Wait a minute. Why did you hang?

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Oh, look, you. I've had enough of this. Who do you think you are, trying to run things and act so insolent and arrogant?

[Narrator/Announcer]

The police.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Mike, put these two in separate cells till morning.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

What's going on here?

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Oh, hello, commissioner.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Toby.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Well, I recovered your car for you, sir.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Yes, I know. Where's the man who took it?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Here I am. Hello, commissioner.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Oh, so it was the little critic of the state highways. The little road runner down there. Well, I'm only thankful nothing happened to my car with all that blasting powder in the back.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes. What do you mean by letting me carry dangerous explosives?

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Oh, dry up, you big wet blanket. You ought to be thankful you're getting out of this mess without going to jail.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

You mean you don't want him held, commissioner?

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

No, this man just made an innocent mistake. It was stupid, but I don't think it was intentional. Come on outside, Gilders. Leave and we'll trade cards.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, all right. Good night, captain. Thanks for the hospitality. Yeah. Something he ate, no doubt. After you, commissioner. Come on, Leroy.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Say, I better make sure my rabbits are all right.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Now, don't worry. They're safe, my boy.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, did you have a look at them?

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

I'll say I did. And they jumped right out of the box and escaped.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Escape.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

And now, don't worry.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

We called out a road gang and rounded them all up again. Took the best part of two hours.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Gee, I hope nothing happened to them.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Oh, now, they're all right. None the worse for the little romp. They're in fine condition. All seven of them?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes, seven. But we only had four rabbits to begin with, commissioner. You found too many.

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[Narrator/Announcer]

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Can I make my site firmer?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Can we sleep cooler?

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[Birdie (Maid)]

Hello? Hello, Operator? Quick, give me the police department. Police? This is 747 Parkside Avenue, and something's happened here. Didn't you phone me by the man who said he was Mr. Gil Sleeve in a stolen car? Well, some policemen did. Well, anyhow, I went back to bed and I tossed and I turned and I turned and I. Okay, okay, I'll get to the point. I got up and I went out to the garage to see if it was there. And it wasn't. No, no, the garage was there all Right. But nothing else was. What do you mean, be more Pacific? Oh, well, somebody sneaked in and stole all of Mr. Gilleslee's four beautiful brand new retreads. Hello?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Wait a minute.

[Birdie (Maid)]

I ain't through yet. At the time these tires were stolen, they was attached to Mr. Gil C's automobile.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Leroy, quit pinching me. What's the big idea?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

I'm afraid you'll fall asleep.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, don't worry. If I want to sleep, I'll pull over to the side of the road.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Yeah, but the trouble is you'll pull over after you've fallen asleep.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, By George, it's 2 in the morning. I'd stop right now. Would make us late for that rabbit. What's that noise?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

It looks like a cop.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Huh?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Another cop. The police have been on my neck tonight like a muffler. Well, this time they can't find anything wrong. I'm driving under 40. My lights are all right. It's my own car.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Pull over to the side of the road.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, yes, pull over, Leroy.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

I wonder what it is now.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

It's probably some officer who hadn't heard that everything's been straightened out between Commissioner Toby and me.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

You know, I'm beginning to be afraid of cock.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, poppycock. You watch me handle this fella. I'll get rid of him inside in two minutes.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Oh, yeah?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yeah, two minutes. You can time me, Leroy, But you can't hold us any longer, Officer. We've been here for two hours already.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Two and a half, Unc. I'm still timing you.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

But look, officer. And you too, Captain. Here, here, Captain. Wake up when I'm talking to you.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Huh? What?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, you here again.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

How many times?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, I'm still here. It's just the second time. How soon are you going to set us free?

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

I can't do anything until we hear this party in Somerville. Who turned in the stolen car?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Report when they call. Let me talk to them, please. I'd like to get my hands on anybody who says I stole my own automobile. Why?

[Birdie (Maid)]

Ow.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh. Yes. Hello.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Millville Police Station. Captain Webster speaking.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Are you calling the Gillsleeve residence?

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

I don't know. Did you report a stolen car earlier in the night?

[Birdie (Maid)]

I most certainly did. You catch it?

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Yes, but the driver claims he's the owner. Gildersleeve?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes.

[Birdie (Maid)]

That's the second burglar that did that tonight, and this is getting monotonous.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Well, he claims that you can identify him. I'm gonna put him on.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Here you are. Thank you. Now, see here, Birdie. What's the Idea of having the police chase me clear across the state.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Mr. Gillsby, what you turn into poking?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

You ought to know. You put me in this pokey. Leroy and I took the car instead of the train.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Oh, you took it. And I thought it was some of them rubber robbers. I wish you'd have told me.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

So do I. Now, we'd have been in Fairview by now if you hadn't had us arrested for stealing our own automobile. Now you tell the Captain here that I'm all right. Here you are, Captain.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Well, what about this man?

[Birdie (Maid)]

Oh, that's his car all right. And he's my employer. At least he was as of our most recent conversation. I better hang up before he decides to change the status quo and make me a member of alumni.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Well, Guilder sleeve, that looks like a clean pill of help for you. I guess you can go now.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, thank goodness. Come on, Leroy, it's time we got here.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Take your hands off me. I tell you, I didn't steal that car.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

It's mine.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

I'm State Highway Commissioner Francis X. Toby.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Oh, yeah? Well, we had another guy tonight who was also supposed to be the commissioner, but that was.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Oh, hello there, Captain. Tell this lunkhead who I am.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, hello, Commissioner. They got you too, I see.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Yes, Gilders Lee for stealing your car. Well, I told this balloon brain I was innocent, but he wouldn't believe me. Not even when we arrived here and I showed him your car. I parked right next to it and.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

I said, look, I don't care. Orders, disorders.

[Captain Webster (Police Captain)]

Mike, this man is the commissioner. All right.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Just my luck.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, now that everything's straightened out, we better be going. I'll have to drive 70 miles an hour if I'm. Oh, I forgot. The speed limit is 50, isn't it? Well, come on, Leroy, let's go. Where's Leroy? Oh, I'd give a lot right now if I could say. Move over, Leroy. Well, Leroy, this must be it. Let's see. Yes, the Fairview Convention hall exhibitors entrance.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Yeah, we just made it too.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Your passes please, sir.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Your passes. Oh, yes, you have them, I believe. Leroy.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Yeah, that's right. Uncle Mort here. Yashir.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Just one second, sir.

[Narrator/Announcer]

I.

[Birdie (Maid)]

Open the envelope, please.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes? It's Porter, I guess.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

I'm sorry, folks, but these here appears.

[Birdie (Maid)]

To be the wrong kind of tickets.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Let me see. Old suffering Wales. Leroy, these are our railroad tickets.

[Birdie (Maid)]

What?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Well, I've had them and we could have come by train all the time.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Yes.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Well then what did we send to Cousin Flora?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

The rabbit show passes. I Guess. Well, at least we're here anyway.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Yeah, that's true. What do we do about getting in, though?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

I'll arrange it. Porter, if you'll help us with this box of rabbits.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Yes, I'll be glad to.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

You bring the box in that. You'll find it in the rear compartment and we'll go and find the manager.

[McGuire (Road Superintendent)]

Gladly, sir.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Yes, sir.

[Narrator/Announcer]

What's the matter?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Can't you budge him? Here, let me help you. Oh, my gosh. Leroy.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Danger.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Explosives. It's the commissioner's car again.

[Narrator/Announcer]

The great gilder sleeve will be with us again in a few minutes. But right now, I'm sure most of you homemakers realize the importance of energy producing foods to your whole family. We're all working hard and playing hard these days. And the energy we use up must be replaced by the foods we eat. So you should know that parquet margarine, the delicious, modern margarine made by Kraft, is one of the best energy foods you can serve. Yes, the wholesome, nourishing American vegetable oil that goes into parquet margarine is one of the best sources of food energy there is. Now, that's particularly important in the wintertime. The food energy in parquet helps give you body warmth, too. Helps protect you from the cold. And equally important, every pound of parquet margarine contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A, making it a dependable food source of this important vitamin the year round. So use plenty of parquet margarine at the table and for cooking, too. Yes, the delicate, appetizing flavor that makes parquet so delicious for table use makes it a real flavor shortening for baking. Grand for pan frying too. So tomorrow, sure. Order delicious, economical parquet margarine. Remember, it's parquet P A R, K A Y.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well, you'd think Cousin Flora would be home when relatives come to visit.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

What do we do now, Uncle?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, we'll kill time till dinner, then come back and see if they're home yet. What would you like to do, Leroy?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Well, how about seeing a movie? We passed the swell one on the way out here.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

The movie? Is that so? What's the title?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Look who's laughing.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh, that one. Yeah. Well, it's playing all over these days, isn't it? All right, let's go. Sounds very amusing.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Who's in it?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Oh, Thiba McGee and Molly.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Oh. Anybody else?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Yeah, Charlie McCarthy and Edgar Bergen.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Is that all?

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Oh, no. There's Mrs. Uppington and Harlow Wilcox and Lucille Ball.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Well? Well, yes, yes, go on, Leroy.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Oh, I almost forgot. And Throckmorton P. Gildersley.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

That's right.

[Leroy (Nephew)]

Look who's laughing.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Commissioner Francis X. Toby]

Good night.

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

FOL.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Original music heard on this program was composed and conducted by William Randolph. This is Jim Bannon speaking for the Grafte Company and inviting you to be with us again next week at the same time for the further adventures of the great Gildersleeve. This is the National Broadcasting Company.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

Why choose a sleep number? Smart bed?

[Narrator/Announcer]

Can I make my site softer?

[Sleep Number Announcer]

Can I make my sight firmer?

[Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve]

Can we sleep cooler?

[Sleep Number Announcer]

Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side. Your sleep number setting. J.D. power ranks sleep number number one in customer satisfaction with mattresses purchased in store and online. And now the more you buy, the more you save on beds, bases and more limited time. For J.D. power 2025 award information, visit J.D. power.com it out at the Sleep Number Store or SleepNumber.com today.