The Great Gildersleeve 42-11-22 (057) Thanksgiving Dinner

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – The Great Gildersleeve 42-11-22 (057) Thanksgiving Dinner

Date: November 27, 2025
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Featured:

• Harold Perry as Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve
• Supporting characters: Judge Hooker, Ms. Fitch, Marjorie, Leroy, Birdie, Mrs. Ransom, Peevey

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Episode Overview

This lively Thanksgiving-themed episode of “The Great Gildersleeve” transports listeners back to the Golden Age of Radio. Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve, the ever-affable and hapless water commissioner, finds himself amidst mounting holiday chaos: administrative headaches, ration book struggles, and above all, the desperate quest to secure a turkey for a large and hungry guest list. Along the way, neighborly squabbles, raffles, and misunderstandings threaten to derail his plans, but the spirit of generosity and community ultimately save the day.

Tone: Warm, comedic, and full of classic 1940s radio humor.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Gildersleeve at Work: The Value of Action

[02:23–06:04]

• Gildersleeve fires off adages about getting things done as he clears paperwork at the water department.
• Exchanges witty repartee with secretary Ms. Fitch, showcasing his tendency to procrastinate, especially regarding his dentist.
• Responds to a bizarre complaint about an eel in a bathtub, crafting a comically bureaucratic reply.

Notable Quote:

“Procrastination is the thief of time.” – Gildersleeve (02:32)
“While it’s out of our department, we’d suggest that a stopper kept in the tub at all times should prove an effective precaution against eels in the future.” – Gildersleeve’s letter (03:16)

2. Gas Rationing, Political Maneuvers, and Thanksgiving Invitations

[06:04–07:20]

• Gildersleeve plots to get a “B” gas ration by leveraging his carpool with Judge Hooker, who now heads the local ration board.
• The relationship is both cooperative and competitive—a running theme.
• To persuade Hooker, Gildersleeve diplomatically invites him to Thanksgiving dinner, hoping for leniency.

Notable Quote:

“He couldn’t accept a man’s hospitality and then trick him out of his B card, could he?” – Gildersleeve (05:58)

3. Thanksgiving Play—Pilgrim Suit Hijinks

[07:20–09:48]

• Leroy complains about playing John Alden in the school pageant, preferring to have a “cooler” role.
• Marjorie and Gildersleeve encourage his reluctant performance.

Memorable Moment:

“I’m lucky the teacher didn’t make me play Priscilla!” – Leroy (07:39)
“This is the forest primeval, the murmuring pines in the hill.” – Gildersleeve (08:30)
“That’s Evangeline, Uncle Mort.” – Marjorie (08:42)

4. The Great Turkey Raffle

[09:50–11:44]

• Birdie (the housekeeper) sells raffle tickets for a turkey, gradually coaxing Gildersleeve into buying more chances.
• They tally the Thanksgiving guest list—soldiers, family, Judge Hooker, and Mrs. Ransom.
• Turkey prices are shockingly high, increasing the stakes.

Notable Quotes:

“Turkey’s awfully expensive this year.” – Birdie (10:39)
“If you use to buy three chances, you’d still be ahead.” – Birdie (10:48)

5. Bureaucracy and Turkey Troubles—No Birds in Town

[11:44–25:07]

• Gildersleeve weaves through the bureaucratic mess at the ration board, attempting to secure more gas and avoid confrontation.
• He loses his chance at the turkey raffle by a single number (62 vs. 61), and the meat market is completely sold out.
• Peevey, at the local drugstore, admits that even their “turkey sandwiches” aren’t actually made with turkey—exposing wartime substitutions.

Memorable Banter:

“No, this is where you don’t get ‘em.” – Peevey, on the ration line (12:12)
“Peevey, your turkey sandwich is not a turkey sandwich.” – Gildersleeve (24:32)
“Well, turkey sandwich has become a sort of trade expression.” – Peevey (24:35)

6. Who Won the Turkey? The Final Twist

[25:21–28:15]

• The family learns Judge Hooker won the turkey in Birdie’s raffle, but Gildersleeve had previously uninvited him in a fit of pique.
• After a humorous and humble reconciliation scene, Judge Hooker forgives Gildersleeve and agrees to bring the turkey for Thanksgiving.

Memorable Quotes:

“Horace, I’ve come to ask your forgiveness.” – Gildersleeve (26:46)
“If you don’t come to Thanksgiving dinner, it just won’t be Thanksgiving dinner.” – Gildersleeve (27:43)
“And when you come, would you mind bringing that turkey you won in the raffle, Judge?” – Gildersleeve (28:10)

7. Thanksgiving Reflections: Sharing is the Spirit

[29:05–30:08]

• Judge Hooker and Gildersleeve toast to friendship and mutual generosity.
• The heartwarming message is about rationing—and Thanksgiving—not being about “grabbing all you can get,” but about managing with what you have and sharing.

Notable Quotes:

“It seems to me the spirit of rationing is to get along with as little as you can, instead of grabbing all you can get.” – Gildersleeve (29:37)
“You’re a credit to the community.” – Judge Hooker (29:45)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Proverb Parade: “Procrastination is the thief of time.” – Gildersleeve (02:32)
• Eel in the Bathtub: “We’d advise a closer check on your friends.” – Gildersleeve’s letter (03:50)
• Turkey Price Shock: “48 cents a pound today, one grocery.” – Birdie (10:44)
• Bureaucratic Comedy: “No, this is where you don’t get ‘em.” – Peevey (12:12)
• Turkey Sandwich Reality: “Turkey sandwich has become a sort of a trade expression.” – Peevey (24:35)
• Thanksgiving Wisdom: “If you don’t come to Thanksgiving dinner, it just won’t be Thanksgiving dinner.” – Gildersleeve (27:43)
• Rationing Morality: “It seems to me the spirit of rationing is to get along with as little as you can, instead of grabbing all you can get.” – Gildersleeve (29:37)

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Important Segments (Timestamps)

• Planning & Paperwork: (02:23–07:20)
• School Play & Pilgrim Suit: (07:20–09:48)
• Turkey Raffle & Guest List: (09:50–11:44)
• Grumbling at the Ration Board: (12:12–14:38)
• Market Mayhem & No Turkeys: (21:15–25:07)
• Discovering the Raffle Winner: (25:21–26:46)
• Reconciliation & the Big Invite: (26:46–28:15)
• Thanksgiving Day Reflections: (29:05–30:08)

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Summary

This episode is a masterclass in classic radio comedy and heartwarming storytelling. Gildersleeve’s Thanksgiving adventure winds from slapstick mishaps (eels and turkey raffles) to gentle lessons in humility, friendship, and the value of giving. The resolution—where neighborly generosity ensures a full table and a full heart—reminds us what the holiday truly means, even in times of rationing and want.

Perfect For:
Fans of vintage radio, lovers of family comedies, and anyone needing a fun reminder of the warmth that comes from sharing and community.

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Transcript

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[Narrator / Kraft Cheese Announcer]

Kraft presents the Great Guildersley, The Kraft cheese company who also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night. Present each week at this time. Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve Written by John Whedon. We'll hear from the Great Gildersleeve in just a moment. You know, these days it's pretty difficult to get the variety of foods you used to get. That's why you should make the plentiful foods you can get as appetizing as possible. Now, one easy, economical way to make foods taste better is to use delicious parquet margarine at the table. And for cooking, too. First of all, of course, parquet margarine is a perfectly delicious spread for bread or toast or rolls. And next, parquet margarine is a tasty seasoning for potatoes and all hot vegetables. Parquet margarine makes cookies and pastries taste better too, because it's a real flavor shortening, not bland and tasteless as some shortenings are. And lastly, you'll find parquet adds tempting extra flavor to pan fried foods. Yes, you can make everyday foods taste better when you use parquet. Remember too, it's a nourishing energy food that contains vitamin A. So ask your dealer tomorrow for wholesome, economical Park A P A R K A Y Parkay margarine made by Kraft. Well, let's get on to the Great Gildersleeve, who's been putting in a busy Saturday morning down at the water department, trying to clear his desk of all the odds and ends that have piled up there. As we join him now, we find him almost down to the blotter and feeling pretty good about it.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Action. Yes, action. That's the keynote today, Ms. Fitch.

[Ms. Fitch]

And you have accomplished a great deal this morning, Mr. Gildersleeve.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yes, sir. Never put out till tomorrow what you can do today.

[Ms. Fitch]

I try not to.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Procrastination is the thief of time.

[Ms. Fitch]

There's a letter here.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Time and tide wait for no man.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

This woman wrote in two weeks ago.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Her want of a nail. The shoe was lost, Ms. Fitch. Action. That's the thing. Action.

[Ms. Fitch]

Mr. Gildersleeve, are you going to answer this woman's letter.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

What does she want?

[Ms. Fitch]

Action.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, let's see. The letter.

[Ms. Fitch]

She says she wrote in two weeks ago and never got an answer.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh. Oh, yes, I remember this. Take an answer. Dear Madam, in reply to your recent letter regarding a meal in your bathtub, we wish to thank you for calling this to our attention. After a thorough investigation of the matter, we wish to report that it would have been impossible for the said eel to have gained access to your tub through the faucet. As all our water is carefully filtered, and furthermore, standard plumbing fixtures are too small to accommodate an eel of the dimensions you describe, we can only suggest that the creature either crawled up the drain, in which event your attorney should get in touch with the Department of Public Works, not us. Or possibly it was placed in your tub by an enemy. While it's out of our department, we'd suggest that a stopper kept in the tub at all times should prove an effective precaution against eels in the future. Failing which, we'd advise a closer check on your friends. Very truly yours, Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve, Water Commissioner. You got that?

[Ms. Fitch]

Yes, Mr. Gildersleeve.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

That ought to hold her. What's next?

[Ms. Fitch]

Well, I don't know whether you want to do anything about this.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Let's have it. Action, Ms. Fitch. Let's clear the decks here.

[Ms. Fitch]

Very well.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

This is no time for bottlenecks.

[Ms. Fitch]

No.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

You'll notice that in every photograph of Donald Nelson, there's not a single paper on Donald Nelson's desk. That's the only way to be an executive. Do it now. Strike while the iron is hot. Come, come, come. What have you got there?

[Ms. Fitch]

A six month reminder from your dentist?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, suppose you put that in the deferred file.

[Ms. Fitch]

That's where it came from.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

You're a hard woman, Ms. Fitz. All right, call up the dentist and make an appointment for Monday.

[Ms. Fitch]

Good.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Leroy. Come on, let's get on here. Time's wasting. Have you got the application for my B gas ration?

[Ms. Fitch]

Yes, it's right here.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, I must remember to get that in this afternoon.

[Ms. Fitch]

It's all filled out. All you have to do is sign it.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

I better check it over. Let's see here. It says, occupational use of the vehicle. If vehicle is used for driving between home and fixed place of work in the principal occupation as stated in items 4 and 6 above. Answer all questions in part A below. If vehicle is used in the performance of the principal occupation stated in items four and six above. Oh, brother. I'll take your word for it, Ms. Fitch.

[Ms. Fitch]

Oh, you Also have to get the signatures of any person sharing the ride with you.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, well, Judge Hooker is my share the rider, but he isn't speaking to me. You can darn well sign, though.

[Ms. Fitch]

I understand very few people are going to get the B rations.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, I'll get one, all right. After all, I'm a city official. I have to do a lot of official driving. I'm entitled to one if anybody is.

[Ms. Fitch]

Yes, but have you heard who's head of the ration board now?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

It doesn't make any difference who.

[Ms. Fitch]

Judge Hooker.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, my goodness. Hooker will find some technicality. He'll block it if he has to stage a filibuster. Maybe I better invite the old goat to Thanksgiving dinner after all.

[Ms. Fitch]

That might soften him up a little.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Certainly. He couldn't accept a man's hospitality and then trick him out of his V card, could he?

[Ms. Fitch]

I don't recall that. The application form covers that.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

No, I didn't think so. Quiet. Here comes the old sour ball now. Well, hello, Badger.

[Judge Hooker]

And does the bus leave, Gilder sleeve?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yeah, the bus leaves whenever you're ready, Judgy.

[Judge Hooker]

I'm ready now.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Be right with you. Can't keep a customer waiting, can we, Miss Fitch? I'll get my hat and coat, Mr. Killer Sleeve.

[Ms. Fitch]

You're not forgetting?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, yes, thank you. While you're waiting, Judge, Ms. Fitch has an application blank there that requires your signature. A mere formality, you know.

[Judge Hooker]

What's this?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Just to show that I'm sharing my car with you.

[Judge Hooker]

Oh, so you're applying for a B ration book, huh?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Aren't we all? Give the judge a pen, Ms. Fitch. Here. Oh, use mine. It's a self filler. I think you'll like it. There, that's it.

[Judge Hooker]

There you are.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Thank you, Judge. Well, see you Monday, Ms. Fitch. Oh, by the way, Horace, I meant to ask you before. I hope you'll give us the pleasure of dining with us as usual on Thursday.

[Judge Hooker]

I thought you'd forgotten all about Thanksgiving.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Not at all. Thanksgiving wouldn't be Thanksgiving without you, Horace. You know that.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Stand still, Leroy. Now, while I fit this. I feel like a city in this fool outfit. This is the kind of clothes the Pilgrims wore, and they were no sissies. Yeah, but they didn't have to wear them in front of a whole auditorium full of people. Stand still, will you, before I jab you with this pin. Courtship of Miles Standish. Why don't you speak for yourself, John?

[Ms. Fitch]

Yeah.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Oh. Told you you'd get stuck. I think you're going to look real Cute when I get this down. That's just what I'm afraid of. That's what the whole school is going to think. Leroy, when you stand still. It wouldn't have been so bad if I was Miles Standish. I'd get to wear a helmet. But John Alden, that panty waist. I'm lucky the teacher didn't make me play Priscilla. I don't see why you feel that way. John Alden is a hero. Remember, it's John Alden who gets the girl. Yeah. Ethel, Hammer, Schlogg and Hammer. Hello, Uncle Morge.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, hello, Marjorie and Leroy.

[Ms. Fitch]

Hello.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, look at our little pilgrim.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Hey, Marge, can't I take this off now? No. Wait till I get it.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Pin your lines yet, young man?

[Ms. Fitch]

Some of them.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, it's about time. You've been rehearsing that part for a month.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

I've been trying to get out of it for a month.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

That's no attitude to take. The Courtship of Miles Standish is great literature. I studied it in school myself. I remember it to this very day. This is the forest primeval, the murmuring pines in the hill.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

That's Evangeline, Uncle Mort.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, that's good, too. Let's hear you recite that speech you were having trouble with last night, Leroy.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

No, I don't want to.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Come on now. I want to see if you've learned it.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Some other time, Unc.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

No, right now. I'd like to hear it.

[Ms. Fitch]

It.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

We both would, wouldn't we, Marjorie?

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

We'd love to. No, I won't do it. Not if she's going to.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Listen, young man, you'll recite that speech or you'll go right upstairs to your room. Okay, we're waiting.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Let's see, Prithy Mistress Priscilla turn out of that field of the suit of one who, though absent yet.

[Ms. Fitch]

Yet.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yet loves thee with a noble and undying passion. Go back and try it again.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Do I have to?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yes. If you don't keep at it, you'll never learn the part.

[Ms. Fitch]

I don't want the part.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Maybe we won't have to do it.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

You'll do it, or I'll know the reason why. Come on, now. Once more, Prithvy.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Miss Prissy.

[Ms. Fitch]

Miss.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

I can't say it.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

You're not trying.

[Ms. Fitch]

Prissy.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Mrs. How you got me doing it. Oh, Birdie, I want to talk to you. Leroy, you go up to your room and practice.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Darn old Miles Standish anyway.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Quiet, you. Birdie, I've invited Judge Hooker to Thanksgiving dinner. So that'll mean one More.

[Ms. Fitch]

That'll mean five more.

[Judge Hooker]

What?

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Yes. I hope you don't mind, Uncle Mort. I invited four of the boys from Camp Fuller.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, well, fine. The more the merrier. Thanksgiving isn't Thanksgiving unless there are plenty around to enjoy the turkey.

[Ms. Fitch]

Speaking of Turkey. Mr. Gillslee.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yes, Bernie?

[Ms. Fitch]

You wouldn't want to buy a chance on one, would you? I don't suppose.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

What do you mean, Bernie?

[Ms. Fitch]

Well, the ladies at my church is.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Holding the turkey raffle again if. All right, I'll buy a chance. How much are they?

[Ms. Fitch]

25 cents. That's for one.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

One chance. There you are. There's a quarter.

[Ms. Fitch]

Thank you. Most everybody around here has bought one from me. All the neighbors.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, you're doing fine.

[Ms. Fitch]

Of course, used to buy two chances. It stands to reason you have twice as good a chance as they have.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

No getting around that, Bertie. All right, I'll take two.

[Ms. Fitch]

Mr. Gilsleeve, you're making no mistake. Turkey's awfully expensive this year.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yes, I know, Bertie.

[Ms. Fitch]

48 cents a pound a day, one grocery.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, brother.

[Ms. Fitch]

Yeah. So if you used to buy three changes, you'd still be ahead.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Sold, Bertie. Make it three.

[Ms. Fitch]

Yes. Let's see now. How many is it gonna be for dinner?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, there's Marjorie and Leroy and Judge Hooker and Mrs. Ransom and the four soldiers. And you, birdie, that makes nine.

[Ms. Fitch]

And you, that makes 12.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yeah, that's me.

[Ms. Fitch]

That's gonna take a big tanky.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Maybe we should order one right away and ask him to hold it for us.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, let's wait and see how this raffle comes out first. Marjorie, we don't want to be stuck with two turkeys.

[Ms. Fitch]

You know, of course, they've sold quite a lot of chances on it. You've only got three.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Birdie, if you can guarantee I'll get the turkey, I'll take five chances.

[Ms. Fitch]

Well, I can't promise nothing, but my cousin's doing the drawing.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

I'll take five.

[Ms. Fitch]

Well, that'll be a dollar and a quarter.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

That's right. Well, here's another dollar.

[Ms. Fitch]

That's quite a lot of money.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yes, it is.

[Ms. Fitch]

A dollar and a quarter will buy a lot of things.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Don't I know it.

[Ms. Fitch]

You wouldn't like to take a couple more chances just to protect your investment?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

You get out of here, Bertie, before you ruin me. I gotta get down to the ration board. Oh, brother, look at that crowd. Pardon me, could somebody tell me whether this is where you get bee ration books?

[Peevey]

No, this is where you don't get em.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Wise guy. Madam, would you mind you can't shove in here. I'm not trying to shove in.

[Peevey]

The end of the line.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

End of the line? I've been waiting here since 2 o' clock and you come trying to shove in.

[Peevey]

Yeah.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Madam, I was merely trying to ask a civil question.

[Peevey]

Into the line.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

But just a minute. Who do you think you're pushing?

[Peevey]

Well, who do you think you're pushing?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, who do you think you're pushing? By George, if you weren't wearing glasses. Well, I'll take them off.

[Narrator / Kraft Cheese Announcer]

There.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

You look worse. Put them back on.

[Narrator / Kraft Cheese Announcer]

What's the fuss here? What's the fuss?

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

He tried to shove in ahead of me.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

I did not.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

He did too, and he squeezed my hand.

[Ms. Fitch]

Oh.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Now look here, my good will. You'll have to ask for order here, my friend. Why don't you just take your place in the line? I'm trying to find out whether this is the right line. I've come for my B ration book.

[Narrator / Kraft Cheese Announcer]

Oh, you've come for it, huh?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yes, I have my application right here. You and 100 million others. What? Young man, evidently you don't know who I am. I happen to be Throckmorton P. Gillisle Sleeve, and I have to do a lot of driving. Where to? Well, out to the reservoir. The reservoir?

[Narrator / Kraft Cheese Announcer]

What for?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

See if there's anything in it.

[Judge Hooker]

Yeah.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Listen, brother, if we gave a ration book to everybody who wants to drive out to the reservoir for a little.

[Narrator / Kraft Cheese Announcer]

Necking in the moonlight?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

I don't do any necking in the moonlight. Oh, you like it in the dark? Yeah.

[Ms. Fitch]

No.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

And I didn't come here to be insulted by underlings.

[Peevey]

End of the line, Bud.

[Ms. Fitch]

End of the line.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, shut up. Oh, Judge, I want you to tell this young whippersnapper here where I get where he gets off. Well, now, Guildy, he has the nerve to tell me I'm not entitled to a B ration book.

[Judge Hooker]

Well, he may be right, Gildy. You're only sharing the ride with one person.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

You can't throw those technicalities at me, Hooker. You're the share of my rider. You signed this application yourself.

[Judge Hooker]

I know that, Gildy. As a share of the rider, I'd be delighted to see you get your ration book. But as a ration official, I couldn't possibly pass this application. My conscience wouldn't allow it.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

All right, Judge. As a ration official, you needn't bother to come to Thanksgiving dinner. And as a share of the Writer, from now on, you can walk. Oh, you can have your own line.

[Narrator / Kraft Cheese Announcer]

The great Gildersleeve will be with us again in just a few seconds. If you're troubled with a food budget that's hard to keep in line these days, just remember this There are any number of wholesome, good tasting, nutritious foods that can help you keep your food budget down. Now, one such food surely is Parquet margarine, Kraft's delicious spread for bread. Because it's good tasting, economical and nutritious, Parquet margarine's flavor is something pretty special. Thousands know it as the margarine that tastes so deliciously good. And just as important, parquet margarine is an economical source of food elements that your family needs. Yes, wholesome, nourishing parquet margarine is one of the best energy foods you can serve. And year round, every pound of parquet contains 9,000 units.

[Kerrygold Butter Announcer]

As the holidays approach, it's time to return to the classics. Flaky pie crusts, perfectly browned butter and cookies with just the right texture and one ingredient you cannot compromise on is Kerrygold butter. Kerrygold butter is crafted with milk from grass fed cows that graze on lush green pastures across family farms in Ireland. The result? A rich, creamy butter with a high butter fat content that elevates every recipe. Whether you're making signature shortbread or browning butter for a nutty depth in your pecan pie, Kerrygold makes all the difference. The flavor is unmatched and the texture it brings to baked goods is simply divine. So this holiday season, if you're baking for loved ones or just for yourself, reach for Kerrygold. It's the butter of choice and your pies, your cookies and your cakes will thank you.

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[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

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[Narrator / Kraft Cheese Announcer]

Of important vitamin A. Yes, it's wise to economize with Parquet margarine. It's delicious, nutritious and thrifty. So buy Parquet Margarine tomorrow. Just ask your food dealer for par P A R K A y paray, the margarine that's made by craft. Now back to Summerfield of the Great Gilder Sleeve. Apparently he'll get no more gas than the Rest of us. But. But what about turkey? It's Tuesday afternoon now. Only two days before Thanksgiving. We find our hero checking last minute details with Marjorie.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

What about those four soldiers? My dear, are you sure they're coming?

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Oh, yes. I had a note this morning from their commanding officer. They'll arrive at 12 o' clock sharp in a jeep.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

A jeep? Oh, brother. What an appetite they'll have. I'll have to run around the house a couple of times to get myself up to concert pitch. Can't let the boys show me up at my own table.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

I don't think you need to worry about that, Uncle Mort.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, I guess we're all set. Soldiers accepted. Hooker canceled. Mrs. Ransom. Mrs. Ransom's coming, isn't she?

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

You invited her, didn't you?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

No, I thought you'd take care of that. You're the lady of the house.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Oh, but I thought you'd want to. Oh, dear. And I went over there this morning to borrow a roasting pan for the turkey and never said a word about it. What must she think?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, this is terrible. This is awful. I'll run over there right now. Serve as right. She's made other plans. A fine thing, borrow woman's roaster and not invite her to dinner. Oh, my goodness.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Oh, Mr. Gildersley.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Leila, I've come to explain.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

I don't know what there is to explain. I'm sure.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

May I come in?

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Well, I'm rather busy.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Just for a moment. Well, Leila, of course you're coming to Thanksgiving dinner Thursday.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Well, I'm hardly in the habit of going to places to which I've not been invited, Mr. Gilderslee.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

But you are invited. You've been invited all along. There was a mix up, that's all. I thought Marjorie had asked you. And Marjorie thought I had.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

How do I know? How do I know you're not just inviting me for my roasting pie?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Leila, when I thought of inviting you, nothing was further from my mind than a roasting pan.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Oh, you say those things, but you don't mean them.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

It's the truth. You were the first one on my list.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Leila was Arthrock Martin, sure enough.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yeah, sure.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Oh, but I'm afraid I couldn't accept it this late date. You see, I've had all these other invitations.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yeah.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

If I turn them down now, I know they'd be heartbroken. Much as I'd like to have dinner.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

With you, we're having a 20 pound turkey.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

I love turkey. But I'm afraid I can't.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

I'll save you the white meat.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

No, don't tempt me now.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

I'll save you the wishbone. We can make a wish on it.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

What would you wish, Throck? Martin?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

I'm not supposed to tell you.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Well, I don't know that I could trust you with a wishbone. And anyway, I promise these other people.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

But you've got to come, Lela. Marjorie and Leroy will be terribly disappointed if you don't. So will I, so will Birdie, so will the army.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

The Army?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yes. We're having four young lieutenants to dinner, too, Throckmorton.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Why in the world didn't you say so?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

You mean you'll come?

[Ms. Fitch]

Will I?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

You're too good to me, Leela.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

What did she say, Uncle Moore?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

She's coming with bells on.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

I wouldn't put it past her. Uncle Moore, can I borrow your shotgun?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

No, Leroy, certainly not. Why?

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

I'm supposed to bring a gun to school tomorrow.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

What kind of a school are they running? A reform school? No.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Miles Standish has got a. Have a blunderbuss.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

A blunderbuss?

[Ms. Fitch]

Here's your pilgrim suit, Leroy. I pressed the collar, so don't mess it up.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Oh, put it on, Leroy, and show Uncle Mort how nice it looks. Not finished?

[Ms. Fitch]

Oh, no, go ahead. You look real nice in it.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

I look like a in it? You look better than you do in that Mickey Mouse sweatshirt you wear all the time.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

And cleaner, too. Put on the pilgrim suit, Leroy. Oh, your sister worked hard on it. Won't do you any harm to put it on once. Go ahead.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Okay. I'd like to meet that guy Longfellow.

[Narrator / Kraft Cheese Announcer]

Yeah.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, Bertie, you think we're going to have enough turkey for all these people Thursday?

[Ms. Fitch]

I don't know, Mr. Gillslee.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Let's see now. We've got four soldiers and the four of us here and Mrs. Ransom.

[Ms. Fitch]

What about Judge Hooker?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Judge Hooker is an ungrateful old goat. Never mention his name in this house.

[Ms. Fitch]

Excuse me. I didn't know it was like that again.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

There'll be eight of us at dinner, and you know the way soldiers eat. You think we ought to figure on two turkeys?

[Ms. Fitch]

I don't know, Mr. Gillesleeve. I don't know what we ought to do.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

What's the matter, Bertie? You seem to be sort of dragging today.

[Ms. Fitch]

I don't know. I don't guess I feel so good.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Out a little late last night?

[Ms. Fitch]

No, sir. No later than usual. I just got a feeling, that's all.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

What kind of a feeling?

[Ms. Fitch]

Like things wasn't gonna work out somehow.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, well, don't let it get you down. By the way, when are they gonna raffle off that turkey I bought all those chances on?

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Yes, we can't wait much longer to find out about that. Thanksgiving's only two days off.

[Ms. Fitch]

I was thinking, Mr. Gillsleeve, how would it be if we had a nice ham instead of a turkey?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Birdie, are you hiding something from us?

[Ms. Fitch]

No, sir. I ain't hiding nothing. Except they had that raffle last night.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, you came close, Mr. Gillsleeve.

[Ms. Fitch]

You came mighty close. The winning number was 61, and you had 62.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

But it still leaves us without a turkey.

[Ms. Fitch]

Well, sort of.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, well, if you gamble, you have to expect those things.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

We better order a turkey right away, though.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yes. We can't invite all those soldiers to come 20 miles for Thanksgiving dinner and have no Thanksgiving dinner.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

I'll go call up the market and reserve one.

[Ms. Fitch]

That's just the trouble.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

What do you mean?

[Ms. Fitch]

I called up the market and all the turkeys is reserved.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

You mean they won't sell us one?

[Ms. Fitch]

Butcher says there ain't a turkey left in Summerfield. I don't know what's the matter. Last week, no pot roast, this week, no turkey.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

We've got to have a turkey. We've invited all these soldiers. We've invited Mrs. Ransom. We've got to find one.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

But where?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Don't ask me.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

All right, Unc. How do you like it?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Like what?

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

The pilgrim suit.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, forget the pilgrim suit. We just lost our turkey.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

No turkey. No turkey. How do you like that?

[Ms. Fitch]

Well, it looks like we all wind.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Up eating turkey sandwiches at the drugstore some Thanksgiving.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

The drugstore? Maybe Peevee's got a turkey. Hold everything, kids. I'll be right back. I'm going to the drugstore.

[Peevey]

Hello, Mr. Gildersleen.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Peavey. Peavey. You've got to help me out.

[Peevey]

Well, I'm always glad to do customer service.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Good. Have you got a turkey?

[Peevey]

What was that again?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Have you got a turkey?

[Peevey]

A turkey? Well, now, I've had people come in here and ask for some strange things, but this is the first time I've ever had a request for a turkey.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

But never mind. Have you got one?

[Peevey]

No, Mr. Gilbert. Leave. Turkeys are one thing that I don't carry. I'm sorry. Have you tried to meet market?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Of course I've tried the meat market. Why do you think I came in here, I wonder. Now, just a minute, Pee Pee, you serve turkey sandwiches at your soda fountain, don't you?

[Peevey]

Yes, we do serve a turkey sandwich.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

You can't make A turkey sandwich without a turkey. Can you?

[Peevey]

Well, now, I wouldn't say that.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

In other words, PB your turkey sandwich is not a turkey sandwich.

[Peevey]

Well, turkey sandwich has become a sort of a trade expression. Although we serve it with genuine cranberry jelly on the side.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

But suppose you don't care for cranberry jelly?

[Peevey]

Then you just ask for the regular chicken sandwich.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yes, sir. Peeve. I'm surprised at you. I don't know how you can sleep nights.

[Peevey]

I did used to have a little trouble, but I just take a cup of hot cocoa before going to bed now, and I find that sets me right. So does Mrs. Peavey.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, this isn't finding a turkey. I gotta get going. Goodbye.

[Peevey]

Goodbye, Mr. Gilbert. Sleeve. Have a nice Thanksgiving.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Same to you. Don't drink too much cocoa. And don't let Mrs. Peevey.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Any luck, Uncle Moore?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Not a bit, my dear. I've been everywhere. It's no use. The Army's picked the place clean. There's not a single turkey left.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Maybe I should warn those boys at camp they'll do better if they stay there.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yes. Wait. There's just one chance left.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

What's that?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

If we can find out who won the turkey in Birdie's raffle, we might be able to buy it from him. Birdie.

[Ms. Fitch]

Yes, Mr. Gilsley?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Would you mind coming in here?

[Ms. Fitch]

Yes, sir.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Bertie, do you know who won that turkey in your raffle?

[Ms. Fitch]

No, sir.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Do you think you could find out?

[Ms. Fitch]

Well, sir, I might be able to. Then again, I might not.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

What do you mean by that?

[Ms. Fitch]

Well, if I was to find out who won, you might not like it.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Come clean, Bertie. What bush are you beating about now? You know who won the turkey?

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Yes.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, why didn't you say so? Who is it?

[Ms. Fitch]

Well, you said never to mention Judge Hooker's name. Oh, I told you you wasn't gonna like it.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, there goes our only chance.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Uncle Mord, don't you think Judge Hooker would be willing to let you have.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

It after what I told him down at the ration board? No, my dear. I really gave him a piece of my mind. There.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

What if you took it all back and invited him to dinner again when.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

He'S got the turkey? He'd just laugh at me.

[Judge Hooker]

He'd.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

He'd. Wait a minute. Birdie.

[Ms. Fitch]

Yeah?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Does Judge Hooker know yet that he's won the turkey?

[Ms. Fitch]

No, sir. I'm supposed to deliver it to him this evening.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Excuse me, folks. I gotta see a judge about a bird. Horace, I've come to ask your forgiveness.

[Judge Hooker]

And you've Come to the wrong place, gilder sleeve.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

That's a cruel attitude, Judge, but I don't blame you for taking it.

[Judge Hooker]

You behave like a boar, gilder sleeve.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

You're right. A big boar in front of a whole lot of people too. Yeah, I could kick myself when I think of it.

[Judge Hooker]

We all fly off the handle sometimes.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

There was no excuse for it. Doing a thing like that to my old friend. Well, Gildy, of course you may think me a sentimental old fool, but we've been pals for a good many years now, haven't we? Off and on.

[Judge Hooker]

Yes, guilty we have. Off and on.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

And we've always had Thanksgiving dinner together, haven't we?

[Judge Hooker]

Yeah, I guess that's right.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, I want you to have it with us again this year.

[Judge Hooker]

You really mean that, Horace?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

I've said it before and I mean it now more than ever. If you don't come to Thanksgiving dinner, it just won't be Thanksgiving dinner.

[Judge Hooker]

Now then, I'll certainly be delighted to come.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Good. Don't forget now.

[Ms. Fitch]

I won't.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

We'll be counting on you.

[Ms. Fitch]

I'll be there.

[Judge Hooker]

What time would you like to have me come?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, come early, judge. Come about 9:00 o'clock in the morning.

[Judge Hooker]

9:00'?

[Kerrygold Butter Announcer]

Clock?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yeah, and when you come, would you mind bringing that turkey you won in the raffle, Judge?

[Ms. Fitch]

Sam.

[Judge Hooker]

Well, Gildy, I've got to be going, but it's been a mighty pleasant day.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Oh, stick around, Judge. The evening's young yet.

[Judge Hooker]

No, I've got to get an early start in the morning, but I don't know when I've had a finer Thanksgiving.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, it was your turkey, Judge.

[Judge Hooker]

I share my turkey, you share your car. That's the spirit today.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Yeah, and a good spirit too. It brings people together, Judge.

[Judge Hooker]

Yes, it does, Gildy. I'm sorry we had that misunderstanding down at the ration board. As a matter of fact, you're probably entitled to a B ration. You use your car for official business.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, I don't want a B book.

[Judge Hooker]

What?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

No, I've been thinking about it, Horace. It seems to me the spirit of rationing is to get along with as little as you can instead of grabbing all you can get.

[Judge Hooker]

You're absolutely right, Gildy, and I'm glad to hear you say it. You're a credit to the community.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Well, thank you, Horace. And you may rest assured that even though I only. I've only a humble A ration, my car will still be at your service at all times.

[Judge Hooker]

You mean that, Gildy?

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

I do indeed.

[Judge Hooker]

That's fine. I've got to meet a train at Moore's Junction at 6 o' clock tomorrow morning.

[Marjorie / Leroy / Birdie (various family members)]

Good night, Gildy.

[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

Good night, everybody.

[Narrator / Kraft Cheese Announcer]

Original music heard on this program was composed and conducted by Billy Mills. This is Ken Carpenter speaking for the Kraft Cheese Company and inviting you to tune in again next week for the further adventures of the great Gilder Sleeve.

[Ms. Fitch]

Ladies.

[Kraft Dinner Announcer]

When you want to make good macaroni and cheese, get a package of Kraft Dinner. This wonderful product is really an answer to a housewives prayer for an easy and quick to make main dish. It takes only 7 minutes cooking time to fix delicious macaroni and cheese. With Kraft Dinner. Put the macaroni that's in the package into boiling water and cook rapidly for seven minutes. In just that short time you have fluffy tender macaroni all ready for the cheese goodness. So you take the package of Kraft Grated which comes with Kraft Dinner and sprinkle it on the macaroni, stirring the delicious cheese flavor through and through. That's all there is to it. Your macaroni and cheese is ready to be served. And once you've prepared it this way, you'll never want to go back to the old fashioned way of baking it. Not when Kraft Dinner gives you such tempting macaroni and cheese in just seven minutes. Why not try it tomorrow? Just ask your dealer for a package of Kraft dinner. It's so convenient, so economical and so good. This program reached you from Hollywood. This is the National Broadcasting Company.

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[Spin Quest Disclaimer Announcer]

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[Kerrygold Butter Announcer]

This holiday season, reach for the one butter that never disappoints. Kerrygold. Made with milk from grass fed cows on Irish family farms, it's rich, creamy and perfect for baking. Whether browning butter for cookies or crafting the flakiest pie crust, Kerrygold's high butterfat content makes all the difference in flavor and texture. Holiday treats will taste extraordinary.