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The Mel Blanc Show 46-11-26 Thanksgiving Party
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The Mel Blanc Show 46-11-26 Thanksgiving Party
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What do you think makes the perfect snack? Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient. Could you be more specific? When it's cravinient. Okay. Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at a.m. p.m. I'm seeing a pattern here. Well, yeah, we're talking about what I crave, which is anything from AM PM what more could you want? Stop by AM PM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience. AM PM Too much good stuff. From Hollywood, Colgate Toothpowder presents the Mel Blanc show. With Mary Jane Croft, Joe Kern, Jerry Hausner, Hans Conrey, Earl Ross, the Sportsman, Victor Miller and his orchestra. And starring the creator of the voice of Bugs Bunny. What's up dad? Yes. Colgate Toothpowder, for a breath of Sweet and T6 Sparkle brings you the Mel Blanc show with Mel playing his new character Zookee. Hello everybody. Hi. Starring himself in person now blank. Hi folks. Ugga ugga boo. Uggaboo boo ugga. Sam. Well, it's close to Thanksgiving and in Mel Blanc's little town, courageous suitors are taking advantage of the holiday spirit to approach prospective fathers in law on a delicate subject. In one house where Sam Green has asked Mr. Brown if he may marry his daughter, Mr. Brown is saying, Sam Green, I'm going to set the date next week. And in another house where Henry Adams has asked Mr. Jones if he may marry his daughter, Mr. Jones is saying, Henry Adams, I'm going to make you a junior partner in my firm. And in the Colby house where Mel Blanc has asked Mr. Colby if he may marry his daughter Betty, Mr. Colby is saying, mel Blanc, I'm going to break every bone in your body. So now it's Thanksgiving Eve and in order to get in Mr. Colby's good graces again, Mel Blanc is holding a Thanksgiving party in his Fix it shop. He has invited a few of his friends for Thanksgiving dinner. Right now we find Mel and his girl Betty setting the table. Knife. Plate. Fork. Knife. Plate. Fork. Knife. Fork. Now those were the last two plates. Now what do you do? Oh, don't worry. Knife. Piece of plate. Fork. Knife. Piece of plate. Fork. Gosh, what a beautiful table. Yes, there's a celery stock, stuffed olives, candied yams, cranberry sauce, all the fixings. And in the center, that great big beautiful 15 pound salami. But now father will Be awfully mad. He's expecting turkey. Oh, I took care of that. I scooped out the center of the salami and I stuffed it with chestnut dressing. And besides, Betty, what difference does it make, salami or turkey? It's the spirit of Thanksgiving that counts. But Mel. Anyway, the orphan's home needed the turkey much more than I did. Oh, darling, I love you for giving the turkey to the orphan's home. You always were a softy for children. Well, Betty, you know how I feel about us. Someday we'll get married and we'll have a little two room house. Yeah, Then after a while we'll add another room. Betty, I refuse to have your father live with us. Darling, I mean children. After we get married, there's no reason why we can't have three, four or five. Yeah, and if we like them the next year, we'll have some more. Well, if dad gets mad at you for not having turkey, I'm gonna tell him why. Oh, that's another thing, Betty. I don't want you to tell your father anything. Don't tell anybody I did it. I'm glad I did it, but I don't have to advertise it. That's the nicest thing I ever heard. Darling, for that I'm going to give you a great big kiss. Well, now say something. Such a kiss for a 15 pound turkey. Yes. Gosh, I wish it had been 50 pounds. Well, if it is, our lodge secretary, Earl Ross. Hey, how you feeling, brother Ross? Ah, potato salad. Oh, yeah, Betty made it. Say, why don't you try some? Well, just a small plate. I don't want to spoil my appetite. Delicious. Pass the olives, Mel. No, not the green one. It's a pit filled. Beautiful. Why don't you have another sandwich in your tank? I've already had two. Already had four, but who's counting? Go on, have another one. Oh, here comes Father. Mel. Hey, who's that fellow with him? Well, that's Willie Murdoch. Father just hired him to manage the supermarket. He's rather nice. Rather nice? Betty, have you gone out with him? Father insisted that I go to the movies with him last night. You and Willie at the movies? Dark places. Betty, why didn't you tell me? Well, darling, it's Thanksgiving and I didn't want to upset you. Now, you be nice to him. Hello, Mel. Happy Thanksgiving. Oh, happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Colby. Oh, Mel, I want you to meet my new manager, Willie Murdoch. Hello, Mr. Murdoch. Hello, Blank. Heard a lot about you from Mr. Colby. Don't let it get you down, William. This is Mr. Ross, Secretary of our Loyal Order of Benevolent Zebras. Mr. Ross is a very good friend of mine. Oh, well, Mr. Colby, any good friend of yours is a good friend of mine. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Ross. That you must be. Hey, you know, this is a very nice fixer shop you got here, Blank. But I've got a couple of ideas to improve it. First of all, it's too stuffy in here. Well, it could use a little air conditioning, Blank. You can't condition this air. You got to get rid of it. And next, you take down that picture of the city dump on the wall. Murdoch, that's no picture. You're looking through the window. Well. Oh, I see. Ms. Colby is unattached. Better go over and attach myself. Get it? Thanksgiving. Why couldn't the Pilgrim Fathers have landed on him? Hello, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy thanksgie. Merry Christmas. Hello, zookeeper. Oh, hello, Betty. Thanks. Say, how do you like my new dress, Cookie? Oh, gosh, Betty, you're the most beautiful. You're the quintessence of. You're the acne of. Oh, by the way, Zippy, I got a letter from my cousin Dottie and a new picture of her. Here. Look. Cousin Dottie is so shy and sweet and coy. What do you think of her bathing suit? Can I get a little something before dinner? What would you like? I'd like something to put you a potato. Here shall. Say, I'd like some candy. There you get. I'd like that picture of Dottie. Say, Betty, did you know that Mel invited us here for Thanksgiving dinner and there's no turkey? Well, you're right, Mr. Colby. Mel invited us for Thanksgiving dinner and there's no turkey. Why, Thanksgiving isn't Thanksgiving without turkey. That's exactly my thought, Mr. Colby. Thanksgiving isn't Thanksgiving without turkey. This guy can easily be replaced with a sheet of carbon paper. I tell you, this is preposterous. Oh, he went back to the kitchen. Oh, well, I want to talk to him and Murdoch. Willie, you take care of Betty. Oh, well, if you say so, Mr. Colby. Anything you say goes, Mr. Colby. I'm your boy, Mr. Colby. You know you can count on me, Mr. Colby. Ha ha ha. Mel is in a jam again. I gotta go and explain everything to you. I gotta go and. And warn it. I. I gotta go in the epiphany or I gotta go. Morning and use it each night. Don't take a chance with your romance. Use cold gates, hook tooth powder. No dates for you this festive season. Could a breath of trouble be the reason Maybe because that breath of trouble, I mean unpleasing breath, has brought unhappiness to thousands. Don't let it mark you down. Just do this. Brush your teeth night and morning and before every date with Colgate Tooth Powder. For Colgate Tooth Powder cleans your breath as it cleans your teeth. Yes, scientific tests have definitely proved that in seven cases out of 10, Colgate tooth powder instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth. What's more, no dental priest at any price cleans your teeth more quickly and thoroughly than Colgate Tooth Powder. Remember to buy it first thing. And remember the name Colgate Tooth Powder with the accent on powder. Don't take a chance with your romance. Now, Victor Miller, the Sportsman and their holiday arrangement of Good Night Ladies. Good night ladies Good night ladies Good night ladies we're gonna meet you now Merrily we roll along, roll along, roll along Merrily we roll along for the beats of sea or the beats to see. Goodbye, good night toodle Farewell baby, goodbye Go along good night. Or we're gonna leave you now Merrily, merrily we roll along Merrily, merrily we roll along Merrily, merrily we roll along. Hey, this is Sarah. Look, I'm standing out front of a.m. p.m. Right now and well, you're sweet and all, but I found something more fulfilling, even kind of cheesy. But I like it. Sure you met some of my dietary needs, but they've just got it all. So farewell Oatmeal So long you strange soggy. Break up with bland breakfast and taste AMPM's bacon, egg and cheese biscuit made with cage free eggs, smoked bacon and melty cheese on a buttery biscuit. Am PM Too much good stuff. VRBO Last minute deals make chasing fresh mountain powder incredibly easy. With thousands of homes close to the slopes, you can easily get epic Pow freshies, first tracks and more. No need for months of planning. In fact, you can't even plan. Pow Pow is on its own schedule. Thankfully somewhere in the world it's always snowing. All you have to do is use the last minute filter on the app to book a last minute deal on a slope side private rental home. Book now@vervo.com Merrily We Roll along, roll along, roll along Merrily we roll along O' er the beach Merrily we roll along, roll along, roll along Merrily we roll along More the Merrily we roll along, roll along, roll along Merrily we roll along. Well, Mel Blanc is giving a Thanksgiving party in his Fix it shop to get in the good Graces of his girl's father, Mr. Colby. But so far, everything is going wrong. Mr. Colby is mad because there's no turkey. Willie Murdoch, the new supermarket manager, is making a play for Mel's girl. Right now, the party is in full swing, but we find Mel disconsolately talking to Betty's kid brother, Tommy in a corner of the shop. Boy is my dad. So it's you, Mel. Yeah. Tommy and I gave this party just to make an impression on him. What can I do to please your father, Mel? I know something you can do that'll surely please him. You do? What is it? No, you're too young to die. Well, anyway, my pop is mad at you for having salami instead of a turkey at this party. Yeah, I know, Mel. Why don't you tell my pot? He gave the turkey to the orphans home. Now, you keep out of this, Tommy. The reason I'm not saying anything is because this year your father forgot to give them a turkey himself. If I said anything about it, it would only embarrass him. Oh. Oh, Mel. Here comes our large, pleasant Mr. Cushing. Good. I'll go over and welcome him. Holiday greetings, brother Blank. Greetings, mighty potentate. How are things? Wonderful. Happiest Thanksgiving I ever had. Where's the wife? Home in bed with laryngitis. Happiest Thanksgiving ever had. Gee, that's too bad. How is she feeling? Darn that penicillin. Say, how did she get laryngitis? Well, Mel, we went to the ucla, USC football game. Little woman went completely berserk. Kept screaming her head off. She did? Yeah, with the first opportunity she ever had to yell at 22 men all at once. You mean, now she got. He can't talk at all. Not a word. He just lies there in bed and hisses. Empty the garbage pail, shake out the carpet sweeper, clean up the kitchen. I wish she wouldn't tell me what to do. I have my own system for doing the housework. Gosh, Mr. Cushing, it must be tough living with your wife. Mel, if you only knew. Last night we went out and she said, look at me, John. I'm dressed up to kill. Gad, what a temptation. I tell you, Mel, I'd leave that woman in a minute if she didn't have all that money. I don't know why I'm standing here telling you all this. It's just that I don't know. I'm a doctor. Oh, cheer up, Mr. Cushing. When you get your wife a Christmas present, everything will be okay. Well, she's already hinted about a present. She wants some beauty aid. Ha. Now, now, Mr. Cushing. After all, beauty is only skin deep. Mel, she's already been peeled. The nerve of that woman. She asked me for a beauty makeup kiss. But what are you going to get her with her face? A box of Dr. Sh's footprint? Nothing helped that woman. Now. Well, I have to let you in for another disappointment. Mighty potentate. I haven't any turkey. What a relief. You're happy not to see a turkey. Mel, are you forgetting I've been looking at my wife all day? Well, onto the party. Oh, I see Brother Colby here. Greetings, Brother Colby. I'll go. Greetings, my devote. And there's Brother Ross. Greetings, Brother Ross. Passes all Aga and little Tommy. All right, Mr. Cushing. All right. Well, I'm sorry. Sort of run away with Magaboo. All right, come on, everybody. Let's all have fun. Does anybody want to hear me impersonate Charles Boyer? All right, I'll sing a song. Anybody hear the story about the cop in Brooklyn? Shall I sing now? You've never heard this story before. Is it about the cop finding the dead horse on Kosciusko Avenue? Huh? And he can't say Kosciusko, so he moves the horse to Main Street. Shall I sing now? No, I'll tell another one. And I know you don't know this story. A fellow was having soup in a restaurant, and he called over the head waiter. See here, sir, he exclaimed, there's a fly in this soup. What do you think the head waiter said? Did he say, what do you want for a diamond? Elephant? Yes. I wish you dropped dead. I'll try one more story now. All right, Everybody, quiet now. Mr. Colby's gonna try one more story. Go ahead, Mr. Colby. Everybody keep quiet. Thanks, Myrtle. Well, it seems a man in a restaurant called the waitress over and said, my cocoa is cold. Well, replied the waitress, if your cocoa is cold, put your hat on it. Oh, very funny. Very, very funny. Shall I sing now, Mr. Colby? I've had enough from you, Mel Blanc. You've ruined my entire evening. His entire evening. Father, let's go. And you've got a nerve. Inviting people to a Thanksgiving party and not even having any turkey. And not having any turkey. Hey, when do we eat, huh, Star? That's a good idea. Come on, Father, let's eat. Oh, all right. Okay, everybody sit down now. There's his. This food looks wonderful. No home cooking. Well, everybody seated? Yeah, let's go. Okay, I'll. I'll Carve the salami. Who wants a leg? I do. I do. I do. Everybody wants to lay here. I should have gotten an octopus. I'd rather have turkey. Colby, will you stop? Everyone knows salami is much safer than turkey. Safer? Yes. No bones. Well, Tommy, what part do you want? I want the part that goes over the counter. Laugh. And how about you, Brother Ross? Well, I don't know. I'm losing my appetite. Just give me the dark. Me? The salami is all dark meat. That's what I said. Just give me the dark meat. Oh, Murdoch, what part do you want? I always let Mr. Colby choose first. All right, Mr. Colby, what part would you like? Oh, this has gone too far. I refuse to sit here and be made a fool of. Oh, but Mr. Colby, now, this can't go on any longer. I'm going to tell Father. Betty, please tell me why. Why we haven't any turkey tonight. Oh, come in, Mr. Blank. Here. I'm now blank, little boy. Mr. Blank. I'm from the Orphans Home. I brought you a piece of your turkey. You did? Yes. It tasted so good. All the boys want you to have some. They wanted me to tell you how much they appreciated you remembering them on Thanksgiving Day. Gee, thanks. They also asked me to give a message from all the boys at the home. Mind if I give it? No, no, go ahead. 2, 4, 6, 8. Who do we appreciate? Mel Blank. Mel Blank. Hooray. Thanks a lot. So on. Gee, wasn't that sweet? Mel, you gave your turkey to the orphanage? Oh, why didn't you tell us about. Well, you're right again, Mr. Colby. Mel Blanc, why didn't you shut up? Well, Mel, he didn't want to tell you because you forgot to give your turkey this year. What? Why? I always give a turkey to the orphanage. In fact, I told Willie. Murdoch. Murdoch, didn't you deliver that? Mr. Colby? It slipped my mind. Murdoch, come here. I'm gonna break every bone in your body. Quiet, everybody. Mr. Colby's gonna break every bone in his body. Gee, it sounds good on somebody else. Oh, forget it, Mr. Colby. It's Thanksgiving. Let's forget. Yes, you're right, Mel. Yeah, let's forgive and let's eat. All right, Here, sit next to me. Mel. My son. Thanks, Pop. Nothing like the smell of salami on Thanksgiving. You see, Betty, it's like I said, what difference does it make, Salami or turkey? It's the spirit of Thanksgiving that counts. Mel Blanc will be back in just a minute. Use Colgate tooth powder. Keep smiling. Just bright. Use it each morning and Use it each night. Don't take a chance with your romance. Use Colgate Cold toothpaste. You notice it quickly enough in others, but you seldom suspect it in yourself. That's the insidious thing about that breath of trouble. I mean unpleasing breath. So ask yourself if you could be a victim. Then let Colgate Tooth Powder help you brush your teeth night and morning and before every date with Colgate Tooth Powder. For Colgate Tooth Powder cleans your breath as it cleans your teeth. Yes, scientific tests have definitely proved that in seven cases out of 10, Colgate tooth powder instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth. What's more, no Dentifris at any price cleans your teeth more quickly and thoroughly than Colgate Tooth Powder. Remember to buy it first thing. And remember the name Colgate Tooth Powder with the accent on powder. Don't take a chance with your roller. Use cold cake Tooth Toothpowder. This is Mel Blanc saying Happy Thanksgiving and that's all, folks. This is fun. He's been reminding you that Colgate Toothpowder for a breath of sleep and keep it sparkle brings you the Mel Blanc show every Tuesday at this time. Be sure and join us again next Tuesday night for more fun with Mel and the people you'll meet in Mel Blanc's Fix it shop. Say hello to Halo Shampoo for naturally bright and beautiful hair. Remember, even finest soaps and soap shampoos hide the natural luster of your hair with dulling soap film. But Halo Shampoo contains no soap, therefore leaves no dulling soap film. Even in hardest water. Halo makes oceans of rich fragrant lather quickly banishes loose dandruff and dirt. Halo needs no lemon or vinegar rinse. Say hello to Halo and goodbye to dulling soap film. Get Halo shampoo at any cosmetic counter. The mel blanc show is written by Mac benoff. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System. Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. 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