Yours Truly,Johnny Dollar 1949-12-24 030 The Department Store Swindle Matter (How I Played Santa Claus And Almost Got Left Holding The Bag)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar: The Department Store Swindle Matter"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar 1949-12-24 "The Department Store Swindle Matter (How I Played Santa Claus And Almost Got Left Holding The Bag)"
Release Date: November 30, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this classic episode from the golden age of radio, insurance investigator Johnny Dollar is tasked with finding a con man swindling New York department stores during the busy Christmas season. What starts as a case of petty theft rapidly escalates to a deadly manhunt when the thief shoots a store detective, turning a bustling Manhattan department store into the scene of a tense search for a murderer disguised as Santa Claus. Told with Johnny's signature wit and noir charm, this holiday mystery delivers intrigue, suspense, and wry humor as Johnny navigates crowded store aisles, frightened families, and dangerous corners in pursuit of justice.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Progression

1. The Assignment: Swindle at Christmas (00:02–02:59)

• Synopsis:
  • Johnny Dollar receives a handwritten assignment from his boss, Mr. Eben Stevens: investigate a series of petty thefts targeting department stores in Manhattan.
  • The thief poses as a store employee, makes fake sales with official-looking documentation, pockets the cash, and vanishes.
  • Johnny heads to New York amid the holiday rush.
• Notable Quote:
  • “Expense account item 1, $1 tip to messenger who delivered this assignment writing by hand to my apartment.” (00:27, Johnny Dollar)

2. Meeting the Association, Aiding the Investigation (02:59–04:42)

• Key Characters: Judy Whitehall (association liaison), Mr. Sandler (store manager)
• Synopsis:
  • Johnny meets Judy, the association’s point person, and quickly engages in playful banter.
  • He learns about the challenge: 120 stores on high alert, varied suspect descriptions, and wide-ranging uncertainty.
• Notable Quote:
  • “It's like looking for a noodle in a spaghetti shop.” (03:32, Johnny Dollar)

3. Crime Escalation: The Camera Department Incident (04:42–07:41)

• Event:
  • Alarm is raised after a man makes a fake sale in the camera department, tries to steal a camera from a child (“Bobby”), and, in the ensuing chaos, shoots a store detective before running off.
• Victim’s Statement:
  • “He hit me. He tried to kill me. He took away my camera.” (06:44, Bobby, the little girl)
• Critical Insight:
  • Bobby, after some coaxing, reveals she bit the culprit, leaving a clue (blood on her coat).

4. Santa Claus Strategy: Getting Bobby to Talk (07:41–11:01)

• Tactic:
  • Judy suggests leveraging Bobby’s fear of disappointing Santa Claus to get her to describe the man.
  • Johnny arranges for Bobby to visit the store Santa with him and Judy.
• Memorable Exchange:
  • "Do you know what happens to little girls who make Santa Claus mad at them?”
    “They don't get to look at television before they go to bed.” (07:54–08:04, Johnny Dollar & Bobby)
  • “This guy Santa happens to be a good friend of mine. What do you think of that?” (08:10, Johnny Dollar)

5. Bobby’s Description & The Sketch (11:12–12:11)

• Outcome:
  • Using Bobby’s account, they get an artist to create a police sketch. Police at exits are told to check suspects’ hands for bite marks.

6. The Stakes Rise: Swindler Turns Murderer (12:11–13:33)

• Events:

  • News arrives: the actual store Santa was attacked; his suit stolen. Johnny realizes the murderer could now be masquerading as Santa and interacting directly with children and police.

• Notable Moment:

  • “Forty-five minutes ago when little Bobby was giving Santa Claus the murderer’s description, he was giving it to the murderer himself.” (13:15, Johnny Dollar)

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7. Tense Search: The Store in Lockdown (14:40–18:19)

• Events:

  • The police flood the store, but the murderer ditches the Santa costume.
  • An elderly customer is wounded by the fleeing suspect, who then robs the sporting goods department, arming himself further.

• Store Manager’s Reaction:

  • “What’s this going to do to our store?” (17:29, Mr. Sandler)

• Johnny’s Pragmatic Warning:

  • “If you’re not careful, it’s going to turn your store into the world’s largest shooting gallery with live targets… Don’t wait for the police to tell you—close the store.” (17:30, Johnny Dollar)

8. After Hours: The Store as a Trap (18:19–22:48)

• The Search:
  • The store is closed, shoppers and staff sent home. Police and Johnny remain to search floor by floor.
  • Johnny and Sandler become targets; a tense shootout ensues.
  • Johnny maneuvers to draw fire, locates the shooter’s hiding place, and pursues him.

9. Final Confrontation in the Shipping Room (22:48–24:11)

• Climax:
  • Johnny chases the criminal to the shipping room and engages in a brutal fight.
  • He ultimately manages to subdue the suspect by trapping him in a large packing case, nailing it shut before passing out from a head injury.
• Notable Quote:
  • “I had to hold him. One thing to do, tap a case… Nail it on. Good tight, good tight...” (24:11, Johnny Dollar)

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10. The Epilogue: A Final Twist (24:19–26:33)

• Hospital Recovery:
  • Johnny wakes in the hospital, concussed. He believes he secured the murderer, but learns the police haven’t found him.
• Race Against Time:
  • Johnny rushes back to the department store, discovers the box containing the subdued murderer has already been shipped—unbeknownst to staff—as part of the store’s annual charity shipment.
• Irony:
  • The box is destined for New York State Prison, poetic justice for the fleeing criminal.

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11. Expense Account and Closing Comic Relief (26:52–27:56)

• Johnny details his humorous expense report, including medical supplies for sound effects men and a fine meal for Judy (who he stood up).
• Final signature:
  • “You may think this amount is a little high, but isn't everybody at this time of the year? Signed, yours truly, Johnny Dollar.” (27:35, Johnny Dollar)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “It was a week before Christmas and all through the house a creature was stirring and boy, what a rat.” – Johnny Dollar (00:02)
• “It's like looking for a noodle in a spaghetti shop.” – Johnny Dollar (03:32)
• “He’ll kill me.” – Bobby, expressing genuine fear (07:09)
• “Do you know what happens to little girls who make Santa Claus mad at them?” – Johnny Dollar (07:54)
• “I bit him on my hand.” – Bobby, critical clue (08:27)
• “Forty-five minutes ago... he was giving [the killer] his own description.” – Johnny Dollar (13:14)
• “Don’t wait for the police to tell you—close the store.” – Johnny Dollar (17:39)
• “If you’re not careful, it’s going to turn your store into the world’s largest shooting gallery with live targets.” – Johnny Dollar (17:30)
• “He fell squarely into a man-sized packing case... Nail it on. Good tight...” – Johnny Dollar (23:51–24:11)
• “By now it should be at the New York State State Prison, up in arsenic.” – Shipping Head (26:35)
• “At least I got him... The killer.” – Johnny Dollar (24:53)
• “You may think this amount is a little high, but isn’t everybody at this time of the year?” – Johnny Dollar (27:35)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Johnny receives the case & heads to New York: 00:02–02:59
• Interviewing Judy Whitehall and Mr. Sandler: 02:59–04:42
• Crime incident & aftermath: 04:42–07:41
• Santa Claus interrogation of Bobby: 07:41–11:01
• Sketch created, police on alert: 11:12–12:11
• Santa suit stolen, real killer in disguise: 12:11–13:33
• Store goes into lockdown, shooter arms up: 14:40–18:19
• Store search & final shootout: 18:19–24:11
• Hospital and twist ending: 24:19–26:33
• Expense report humor: 26:52–27:56

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Summary & Tone

• The episode is packed with suspense, dry humor, and noir-style banter.
• Johnny operates as the sardonic, resourceful investigator, mixing wit with quick thinking under immense pressure.
• Supporting characters—Judy Whitehall, Bobby, and Mr. Sandler—bring comic and emotional relief while highlighting Johnny’s determination and humanity.
• The story builds tension with each twist, transitioning from light-hearted fraud investigation to a dangerous chase with lives at stake, ending on a classic O. Henry-esque ironic note.

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[This summary covers all core plot elements and character dynamics, offering context and timestamps for listeners and fans of audio drama and detective fiction.]

Transcript

[A]

It was a week before Christmas and all through the house a creature was stirring and boy, what a rat.

[B]

This is another in the adventures of America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator Johnny Dollar. Starring Charles Russell at Insurance Investigation. Johnny Dollar is only an expert at making out his expense accounts.

[A]

He's an absolute genius. Expense account submitted by Special Investigator Johnny Dollar to Home Office Industrial Insurers Incorporated, Hartford, CT. Attention Mr. Eben Stevens, General Manager. The following is an accounting of my expenditures during investigation of small time swindles of big time department stores. Or how I played Santa Claus and almost got left holding the sack. Or going for a sleigh ride without benefit of snow can be tough sledding. Expense account item 1, $1 tip to messenger who delivered this assignment writing by hand to my apartment.

[C]

Thanks, Mr. Dollar.

[A]

You have never been known as a fast man with a buck, Mr. Stevens. And I must say your note to me also marked you in my mind as an economist with words.

[D]

Dear Dollar, our client, the association of Department Stores of Greater Manhattan has requested.

[A]

Help on the following problem.

[D]

A young man has been making the rounds of New York department stores during the current Christmas rush. Using his equipment and official looking sales book, he goes to a business department, makes a quick sale on some large item, writes it up in his furious sales book, takes the customer's cash and disappears. Enclosed fine varying descriptions as furnished by victims to date and check for your usual retainer fee. Please put a stop to this nefarious practice at once. Signed Eben Stevens, General Manager.

[A]

Expense account item two, $6.21 train fare, Hartford to New York. Next morning at 7:03 on the Bankers Special. A train very cleverly named that because 75% of its load is made up of bankers. I sat among them in a parlor car watching them limbering up for the day's chores, slowly shaking their heads from side to side and softly whispering no. We arrived at Grand Central at 9:20. The bankers got off and headed for their granite vaults. I got off and headed to face my stone wall. Expense account item 3, 4 bits cab fare to offices of the association of Department Stores of Greater Manhattan. There things got brighter right away. Her name was Judy Whitehall. Boy, how she'd been missed by the scouts for the Copacabana I'll never know.

[E]

I have been assigned to help you all I can, Mr. Dallas. What would you like to know first?

[F]

Your home phone number.

[A]

Oh, well, maybe we better wait until later for that. How many stores are there in your association, Ms. Whitehall?

[E]

We have 120 member stores, Mr. Dollar.

[D]

Great.

[A]

You know, in one department store, I'm the kind of a guy that can't find the glove department. And Now I've got 120 stores in which to find someone I don't even know.

[E]

Well, we do have the man's description.

[A]

Yeah, as a matter of fact, we have a lot of descriptions, all slightly different.

[E]

And the regular store detectives are all on the lookout.

[A]

It's like looking for a noodle in a spaghetti shop.

[E]

And all the sales personnel been warned.

[F]

It's beautiful.

[E]

What's beautiful?

[A]

Your face.

[E]

Well, really, Mr. Dolan, after all.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, I know.

[F]

Business.

[A]

Well, before I start, maybe you'd better give me a letter of identification. If I spend all day mosing around department stores without buying anything, I can stand a good chance of getting picked up as a shoplifter right away.

[E]

Follow me.

[F]

All right.

[E]

Oh, just a minute.

[G]

Hello?

[H]

This is Ms. Whitehall.

[E]

Oh, yes, Mrs. Sanders. Oh, my, that's terrible.

[H]

My goodness, that's awful.

[G]

Good gracious, that's worse.

[E]

Well, well, the insurance investigator is here right now, Mr. Sanders.

[H]

We'll be right over.

[A]

What's so terrible?

[H]

That man, the one we're looking for, he was in the Miller store making a phony sale on the camera department.

[A]

Oh, you also said it was awful.

[H]

It was. A little girl picked up a camera and snapped it, and the man tried to take it away from her and the girl yelled and then her mother screamed.

[A]

And what made it worse?

[H]

Well, a store detective came running and the man shot him.

[E]

Then he grabbed the little girl, camera.

[H]

And all, and then ran off. They called the police.

[A]

Really?

[F]

I can't imagine why.

[A]

The mob scene in the Miller store would have made the Notre Dame backfield hotter. Uncle Christmas neckties were selling like hotcakes. Only compared to most of the ties. A hotcake would look better on you. The camera department was on the mezzanine and the store manager, Mr. Sander, was on a rampage.

[I]

Why doesn't somebody do something? Why can't they find him? I've got men posted on every door. He's in this store somewhere and. Oh, Ms. Whitehall, it's about time. Who is this?

[H]

This is Mr. Dollar, Mr. Sandler from the insurance company.

[I]

Well, I don't know what you can do, Dollar. I've already got 20 policemen running all over the store. It's absolutely ridiculous. Preposterous. Fantastic, that's what it is.

[A]

Also amazing. Now, tell me, Mr. Santa, about that little girl who picked up the camera and snapped the culprit's picture. Did they find her yet?

[I]

They certainly did in the rug department. She'd been shoved in the middle of a pile of 9 by 12 orientals. On sale at 123.50. She was scared, but not hurt.

[A]

The girl was found without the camera, I suppose.

[I]

Naturally. But the camera wouldn't do us any good after all. I'm sure the camera didn't have any film in it. They never do when they're on display.

[E]

How about the store detective?

[I]

The one who got shot in the hospital? Ms. Hall, they'll call me here as soon as they find out how bad.

[F]

Maybe he's been hurt.

[A]

Well, look, getting back to that kid, was she able to give you a good description of the guy who grabbed her?

[I]

She hasn't stopped crying long enough.

[A]

Well, how about our mother?

[I]

Neither is she.

[A]

Where are they now?

[I]

They're in my office. That's why I'm staying right here.

[A]

Where is your office?

[I]

I'm the eighth floor, right next to the credit office.

[A]

Well, this may be the first time I ever got past the credit office. Come on, Julie.

[H]

Oh, Bobby. Come on, blow your nose. There. Now, be a brave little girl.

[G]

I don't wanna. He hit me. He tried to kill me. He took away my camera.

[A]

Let me have another try, Mrs. Jenkins.

[H]

All right, Mr. Dallas. You think it'll do any good?

[F]

All right.

[A]

Oh, come on now, Bobby. All you have to do is tell.

[F]

Us what that bad man looked like. We'll get him and then we'll fix it. Come on now, huh?

[G]

I don't wanna. He'll kill me.

[F]

I'm beginning to think he's got a point.

[A]

Okay, Bobby.

[F]

Okay, okay. Just a minute now. Oh, Judy here.

[E]

Yes, Johnny?

[A]

Looks like as a child psychologist, I'm nothing. At this point, I feel like telling little Bobby to go out and play with some old razor blades.

[F]

Got any suggestions?

[E]

Well, it is almost Christmas.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And one thing little girls don't want to do at Christmas is get in wrong with Santa Claus.

[F]

Ah, gotcha.

[A]

Good gal. Where do we find Santa Claus?

[E]

In the toy department on the fifth floor.

[A]

Well, give me about five minutes to explain things to Santa and then bring Bobby down. Oh, Bobby.

[G]

What?

[F]

Do you know what happens to little girls who make Santa Claus mad at them? Yes, what happens?

[G]

They don't get to look at television before they go to bed.

[F]

I mean, at Christmas, what happens?

[G]

They don't get any toys. All they get is old sweaters and underwear.

[F]

Well, listen, Bobby, this guy Santa happens to be a good friend of mine. What do you think of that?

[G]

Tell him I want an air rifle.

[F]

You Would.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[F]

I'll even fix it so you can tell him yourself. How's that?

[G]

Just fine.

[A]

Ah, good girl.

[F]

Hey, where'd you get that blood on your coat?

[A]

You got a cut?

[G]

No, sir. That's from that bad man. I bit him on my hand.

[A]

Okay, Judy, here I go. Oh, and on the way down, maybe you better stop by the dog supply department and buy little Bobby a muzzle. If the kid doesn't like his looks.

[F]

Old Saint Nick may get nicked.

[A]

Department stores should have some kind of a congressional medal for salespeople who work in the toy department. Just before Christmas, I took the elevator down to five, and when that door slid open, Like stepping into Dante's inferno. Junior grade first, I got on a house phone and called Santa, who was still in the camera department. He had word from the hospital the store detective had died without regaining consciousness. I was no longer trying to catch a cheap swindler. I was now out to swap blood with a dirty murderer. A line of fidgety kids led me to Santa Claus sitting benignly on his throne. I had a short talk with him and a short wait for Judy and little Bobby. Okay, Santa, now we've got to make her talk. That is, you've got to.

[C]

All right. $. All right, now, kitties, you'll have to wait for a moment. We have a special little visitor coming to see me.

[E]

Hello, Johnny. All set?

[F]

Yeah, all set.

[A]

Okay, Bobby McGurl. Now, just let me give you a hoist up into Santa's lap.

[F]

He wants to ask you a few questions.

[G]

I want an air rifle.

[A]

You be a good little girl and answer all Santa's nice questions, and you'll get it when I'm where I'd like to give it to you.

[I]

Up we go.

[F]

Yes.

[C]

There we are, honey. Now tell me, what do you want for Christmas?

[G]

I want an air rifle.

[C]

Well, we'll see what we can do about that. Tell me, have you been a good little girl?

[G]

Yes, sir.

[F]

Hmm.

[C]

Well, first we'll just have to look up your name in my little black.

[F]

Book and make sure. Hmm.

[C]

Pretty good. All but one little thing.

[G]

What'd I do? I didn't do nothing.

[C]

Well, that's just it. You see, Bobby, I have a note here that today some people asked you what a certain man looked like and.

[F]

You wouldn't tell them.

[C]

Is that right?

[G]

I'm afraid I don't want to tell. They can't make me.

[C]

Well, Bobby, maybe you and I had better talk this over. If you won't do something for us.

[B]

How do you expect it?

[A]

Little Bobby's description of the murderer wasn't the greatest by any means, but it was better than none at all with which we had been furnished by the personnel in the camera department and the kid's mother. We took the girl to the advertising department where an artist made a sketch. Armed with a drawing, we made a tour of the store exits, showing it to the police posted on every door, giving them a rough idea what to look for. A medium build, pudgy man with black hair. And when they came across such a character, he was to be issued an invitation to show his hands. If he was sporting Bobby's teeth marks, then they'd really know this chore. Out of the way. Ms. Whitehall and I sank our teeth in a pair of sandwiches in the tea room. The Shopper's Delight sandwich, to be exact. Cream cheese, walnuts, watercress and pineapple on whole wheat bread. We found the store manager, Sandler, back in his office. He too was eating, but he was on a diet of straight fingernails.

[I]

Oh, terrible, terrible, terrible. That's what it is.

[A]

Now, don't worry, Mr. Sandler. He'll be caught. As a swindler, he might have gone on for years, but as a murderer, it won't be long, believe me.

[I]

What to do, what to do? What to do.

[A]

Well, I've got several ideas, and the first is to get out of your office and start at the top of the store and work my way down.

[I]

They're already doing that and not a sign of him.

[A]

Well, I once found a mouse in a hayloft, so be not disencouraged.

[F]

And a pretty little mouse she was. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

[E]

Oh, please try to relax, Mr. Sandler. Everybody's doing your best.

[I]

Yes, I'm sure they are. It's just that I. Oh, hello? Yes, this is Mr. Sander. Oh, no.

[D]

Where?

[I]

How long has he been there?

[E]

Hello?

[I]

I'll be right down.

[A]

What's for about an hour?

[I]

About an hour and a half ago, our sore sandy claw stepped out into the employees restroom for a smoke. He was slugged from behind. When he came to, he was all tied up in a broom closet. And somebody has stolen his Santa Claus suit.

[A]

They just found him about an hour and a half ago. Judy, you know what that means.

[G]

Oh, no.

[A]

Oh, yes. 45 minutes ago, when little Bobby was giving Santa Claus the murderous description, he was giving it to the murderer himself.

[I]

Oh, good gracious.

[A]

Instead of a kid's air rifle, it could have gotten us a revolver size.38.

[B]

In just a moment, we will return to the second act of Johnny Dollar. But first, CBS is going to bring you one of the biggest presents you ever received from show business. Tomorrow afternoon, Christmas Day, for a full hour on the entire CBS network. You're going to get all the comedy, all the laughs, and one of the greatest Broadway and Hollywood hits of recent years, the man who Came to Dinner. And the man who Came will be played by none other than Jack Benny. Plus Charles Boyer, Gene Kelly, Dorothy McGuire, Gregory Peck and Rosalind Russell. Plus Henry Fonda and John Garfield as narrators. You will hear them all on CBS's special holiday hour tomorrow afternoon. Jack Penny playing the man who Came to Dinner and Breaking a Leg had to stay on and on and on. Now with our star, Charles Russell, we return to the second act of yours truly, Johnny Dollar.

[A]

There's no place like a crowded department store for a fresh made murderer to be on the loose. Especially one that's playing Santa Claus for a lot of rosy cheeked little nippers. I headed back to the toy department, but when I got there, the cupboard was bare. Our lethal Saint Nick had decided to give up his red flannel and white whisker hiding place. We found the empty chute in a storeroom tossed high on a stack of baby buggies.

[E]

Oh, Johnny, this is terrible.

[H]

That man's a murderer.

[E]

What are you gonna do?

[A]

What am I gonna do? Now listen, Judy, by now there must be 87 cops sifting through this store.

[F]

Looking for that guy.

[A]

They've got two cops on every door. Now all I'm gonna do is help him look. This is one of those everybody's problems.

[E]

You're right. I guess I'm just getting excited.

[F]

I don't know that you have a right to do. Come on, let's get out here.

[A]

I've got an idea.

[G]

All right.

[E]

Johnny.

[H]

Oh, Mr. Dallas, thank goodness I found you. Mr. Sandler wants you right away. Down on three, an old lady has just been shot in Junior Mrs. Lingerie.

[A]

Serves a right for not acting a rage. Let's go, Judy.

[I]

Right over here, $. All right, let him through please. Let him. Lady, please stand back now. Well, Dollar, congratulations. Before, this store was only going to sue that company of yours for $1 million. Considering what this shooting will do to our reputation, I'm going to make that 5 million.

[A]

Now, Mr. Sandler, keep your powder dry. First of all, it's not my company. And second, you can't sue him for.

[F]

Something they didn't do.

[A]

And third, you'd better get this poor old gal to a hospital. How badly is she hurt? And how did it happen?

[I]

The doctor's on his way and we've sent for an ambulance. This woman was lost out on the back stairway looking for the ladies room. That maniac saw her coming toward him and ran down the stairs firing over his shoulder. The bullet just seemed to have grazed her left side.

[A]

Pretty lucky. Where are the police?

[I]

They're searching all over the store. Darla, what are we going to do? This is terrible for business.

[A]

Well, I suspect that any minute now the cops will be telling you to do something that's going to be even worse for business. Close the store.

[I]

Well, close the store.

[A]

Why?

[I]

We're staying open late tonight. It's the last minute rush.

[A]

I'm just telling you what I think. I think the cops will double the lookouts on all the doors and make you close the store. Then they can go to work.

[I]

We lose thousands of dollars. They can't make me close the store.

[A]

You stay open, you might lose a few more customers. The hard.

[F]

Where's that doctor?

[I]

He'll be here any minute.

[G]

Mr. Sam.

[I]

Yes, what is it?

[H]

Well, they called up from the sporting goods in the basement. That man has been down there and held them up. And he took four guns and six boxes of ammunition.

[I]

Six boxes of.

[E]

Oh, my.

[I]

What's this going to do to our store?

[A]

If you're not careful, it's going to turn your store into the world's largest shooting gallery with live targets. You know what I suggest, Mr. Sandler?

[H]

What?

[I]

What? Tell me what?

[A]

Don't wait for the police to tell you.

[F]

Closed the store.

[A]

Sandler didn't like it and neither did the customers as they filed out of the store past the scrutiny of the police officers still clutching their unfinished Christmas shopping list. The process was slow and while the customers were leaving, the clerks finished up their business, put the white shrouds over their counters and they too filed out into the early night. The boys in blue watching the doors came up with several men answering the general description of our with a loose trigger finger. But none of them had little Bobby's teeth marks on his hands. That made it a 5050 chance that Mr. Killer was still in the building. There's nothing more eerie than a department store after closing and it's white sheets. The whole joint seemed to be playing ghost. I sent Judy over to a steakhouse on Third Avenue, told her to wait. Then I had Sandler get me a gun from the sporting goods department for that lonely, scared feeling. There's no medicine that quite takes the place of a piece of cool steel in your little hot hand. The sergeant in charge of the police detail posted men outside, all exits. The rest he took up to the roof with them. They were going to run the whole store through their burly blue sieve.

[F]

Floor by floor, counter by counter, inch by inch.

[A]

Sandler stayed with me down the first floor. Just for fun, I thought I would start working my way up.

[I]

Donna, don't you think we should get out of here and leave this to the police?

[A]

I have several goosebumps that agree with you, Mr. Sandler.

[F]

But I have a very dangerous habit of trying to earn my money. This is terrible. Now, look, every counter and post in this is just the kind of hiding place a sniper would pray for. I get paid for this kind of work. You don't. Now, why don't you go out for a nice safe walk?

[I]

It was my duty to stay here. I'm sticking with you.

[A]

Okay, but remember, two of us gave.

[F]

Him twice as much to shoot at.

[I]

No, it.

[A]

I had to go and open my big mouth. Get down. Getting down on that floor could have been committing suicide in itself. The killer's bullet had crashed into a showcase.

[F]

And a sea of broken glass is a risky place to practice diving.

[A]

Having to swim out of it was twice as bad. But that's what I had to do.

[I]

Oh, Mr. Dolan.

[F]

Sandler. Keep your head down. Bury your face in the glass, but keep your head down.

[A]

Yes, darling.

[I]

Tell me what to do. Anything, but get me out of here. I have a wife and three kids.

[F]

Well, if you'll do what I tell you to do, your wife will go on having a husband and your kids.

[A]

Will still have a father.

[I]

Yes, yes, Just. Just tell me.

[F]

I don't know exactly where that shot came from, but from the looks of this glass, it must have been from behind us. Now, I'm going to leave you and.

[A]

Crawl over near those elevators.

[F]

While I'm on my way, you rattle around in this glass. Let him hear where you are. Give me about two minutes, and then do something to draw his fire.

[I]

What will I do?

[F]

Do anything but one thing. Don't stand up.

[I]

I'll think of something.

[F]

You'd better. But don't take any chance.

[I]

No, but what are you going to do?

[F]

Take some chances.

[A]

Once I was on my way, Sandler went to work with a vengeance. I could hear him thrashing around in that glass like he was trying to corner the Band Aid market. I made it over the elevators, scooting flat along the floor till I hit a car with an open door and.

[F]

Slithered inside behind the protection of the elevator's front wall. I stood up, appeared over at the edge of the door and waited for.

[A]

Santa to make the move that would draw the murderer's fire. I must say, Santa was dead game. And the way he made his move, he also stood a good chance of becoming plain dead. First he stopped wiggling around on his bed of glass, and then he just stood straight up. The shot missed, but my eyesight didn't. The killer was shooting from high up behind a pole. He was standing up on a glass showcase hoping for a better view. And it didn't take me long to decide to give him a better view of the inside of that glass showcase. I started deliberately shooting his foothold out from under him. He was bleeding beautifully. When I started to run straight for the back of the store, firing as he rang as one last souvenir, he threw his empty gun over his shoulder at me. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw guns. I decided to join the track team and run on the chase back out of the main floor, through the employees entrance, out to the dimly lit shipping department and its loading dock filled with packages ready for shipment.

[F]

I could hear him moving around among them.

[A]

Okay, get your hands up and come out. I'm giving you a chance, but it's not gonna last long. Get moving. I don't need your chance.

[I]

I've got something better.

[A]

Okay, so you want to play? I think I'll give you a couple of yuletide presents early. And I'm sure nobody will.

[F]

Mind if I open your head before Christmas.

[A]

My hot headed friend was hiding behind a high pile of wooden boxes ready for shipping. I grabbed a heavy empty dolly, gave it a flying start, sent it crashing into the bottom box of the pile.

[D]

Beautiful.

[A]

The biggest crash since 29. It was a tough fight, but mom, I don't think I won. At best it was a draw. About the 15th time I belted him, he belted me right back. Then he got his hands on a hammer, laid it across the side of my head. I got the hammer, did the same for him and made a hole in one. He fell squarely into a man sized packing case lying at the foot of the packing bench.

[F]

I was getting weak, dizzy.

[A]

I had to hold him. One thing to do, tap a case lying right there, already nails partway in. Put it on right, right over him. Nail it on.

[F]

Good tight, good tight, good tight.

[A]

Everything is black. Then everything went white. Hey, Corny as this may sound, where am I?

[E]

You're in the hospital, Johnny darling. But don't worry, it's only a Slight concussion. They brought you here last night.

[A]

Oh, I suppose I have a hammer.

[F]

Shaped hole in my head.

[E]

No, no, darling, it hardly shows.

[F]

Oh, how could these bandages covering it up?

[A]

Well, at least I got him.

[I]

Hmm?

[E]

You what, dear?

[F]

I got him. The killer.

[E]

Oh, no, dear, you couldn't have. They're still looking for him.

[D]

Oh, no.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. What time is it?

[H]

11 in the morning.

[A]

I gotta get out of here.

[G]

Why, Johnny. Johnny, please. Johnny, you're not supposed to get up or nurse. Ner.

[A]

If they let him get away after all my trouble, somebody was gonna need a doctor. Judy and I hit the department store in 12 minutes flat. One minute later, I was in the shipping department talking to the head man.

[D]

Now, now, Mr. Dollar, just calm down. Everything's gonna be all right. Now, exactly what is it you wanna know?

[A]

That big packing case, the one that was lying right here in front of the bench last night. Where is it?

[D]

Oh, the great big one.

[A]

Yes, the great big one.

[D]

The one about 8ft long and 3ft wide?

[A]

Yes, the one about 8ft long and 3ft wide.

[D]

Well, there was something very peculiar about that case.

[A]

You're telling me. Where is it?

[D]

Well, this morning we came to work, the boys saw it all packed up, so they put it on the truck for Upper New York State.

[A]

Oh, no.

[C]

Oh, indeed they did.

[D]

But what was peculiar about it? Even though they found it already to go later on, they found all the merchandise that was supposed to go in it lying around loose. It had never really been packed.

[A]

Well, then, quick. The least you can do is tell me where it went.

[D]

Well, now that I can do. That box was the boss's big annual charity shipment of goods. That particular box is on its way to some of the unfortunates who'll be spending this Christmas away from home.

[A]

All right, so where is it?

[D]

By now it should be at the New York State State Prison, up in arsenic.

[A]

Expense accounts, item five, $12.80. Dinner check at Pietro's, where I had asked Ms. Judy Whitehall to wait for.

[F]

Me the night before.

[A]

And where I inadvertently stood her up. Although how a gal can stand up after eating $12.80 worth of food. More than I could figure out. Let's see. Expense account, item six, $10 medical supplies for those poor CBS sound men, Vern Surrey and Billy Gould, who had to break all that glass during the show. Expense account, total $511.50. You may think this amount is a.

[F]

Little high, but isn't everybody at this.

[A]

Time of the year has signed yours truly, Johnny Dollar.

[B]

Yours truly, Johnny Dollar. Is produced and directed by Gordon, stars Charles Russell, script by Paul Dudley and Gil Dowd. Featured in the cast were Jay Novello, Georgia Ellis, Marlene Ames, Parley Bear, Paul Duboff and Connie Crowder. The special music is written and conducted by Leith Stevens. Your announcer is Bob Steven. Be sure to be with us at the same time next week when another unusual expense account is handed in by.

[A]

Yours truly, Johnny Doll.

[B]

Those two pleasant gentlemen of music, Juan Monroe and Gene Autry, will be around with special Christmas music tonight on cbs. On his Caravan, Vaughn will feature a medley of Christmas carols and you'll hear the maestro and his band featuring Vaughn's new song success, the Jolly Old man in the Bright Red Suit. Gene Autry will bring you Christmas music and the Christmas Eve story, Western style.

[D]

Be sure to hear these two Saturday.

[B]

Night CBS stars Vaughn Monroe and Gene Autry on most of these same CBS stations. Now stay tuned for Vaughn Monroe's Caravan, which follows on most of these same stations. This is cbs, where yours truly, Johnny Dollar, meets adventure. Every Saturday night, the Columbia Broadcasting System.