Harvard Data Science Review Podcast

Episode: "Better Data, Better Date?"

Release Date: February 27, 2026
Host: Liberty Wittert Capito (with Miguel Paradis)
Guests: Amy Anderson (Professional Matchmaker, Founder of Lynx) & Adam Cohen Islati (CEO, 3 Day Rule)

Overview

This episode explores the intersection of data science and the age-old quest for love. The discussion juxtaposes algorithm-driven online dating platforms with the personalized, human-centered world of high-end matchmaking. With guests Amy Anderson and Adam Cohen Islati, the conversation delves into what people truly want in relationships, how technology shapes dating behavior, the limits of algorithms, and how AI could (or should) augment—not replace—human intuition in matchmaking.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What People Say They Want vs. What They Actually Want

• Checklist vs. Core Values:
  • Many clients begin with extensive lists of "must-haves," but ultimately, these are often "noise."
  • Amy Anderson: "So much of this is really based on kind of the values of what somebody's looking for, based on a really significant intake process of getting to know them. Sometimes people don't even realize that these kind of core values up front. And it's really through our extensive conversation...that I'm able to extract kind of these key pieces of data that I think somebody needs." (01:47)

2. The Paradox of Choice and Dating App Fatigue

• Dating apps create an illusion of endless possibilities, but this often leads to superficial evaluation and decision paralysis.
• Adam Cohen Islati:
  • "Young people have grown up on dating apps, and dating apps have told us that there’s a million fish in the sea...And what that does to humanity is it minimizes a human being into an object. And as soon as you spot something that could be a red flag, you run the other way..." (04:14)
  • Core Idea: Matchmaking focuses on quality, not quantity, and encourages people to slow down and deeply engage.

3. The Efficiency of Matchmaking vs. Dating Apps

• Matchmaking has a 70–80% success rate; dating apps hover around 9% (08:28).
• Vetted introductions reduce anxiety and uncertainty, increasing the probability of meaningful connections.
• Amy Anderson: "My clients actually tell me that they want a reduction in the number of matches...and much more highly targeted individuals that could be high probability matches..." (09:23)

4. How Do Dating Apps Really Use Data?

• Swipe and click data are the primary mechanisms—little real focus on meaningful compatibility.
• Adam Cohen Islati (on Bumble's approach):
  • "They actually use very little profile data...It was kind of like, well, you like sports and long walks on the beach and you're the same age in New York, so you must be a good match...But that's really...very, very basic." (11:00)
  • "More swipes is more time on app...potentially more opportunity to upsell you to premium."

5. The "Essence Data" of Good Matches

• Real predictors include emotional safety, accountability, and maturity—not superficial attributes.
• Amy Anderson: "They really want emotional safety and somebody who's kind of accountable and emotional maturity. So I'd say those are some of the key things that I've seen over the years that people really want." (13:06)

6. Human Intuition is Still Data

• Matchmaking is highly data-driven, but the data is "qualitative"—rooted in years of conversations, interviews, and feedback.
• Both firms use systematic post-date feedback to refine matches and evolve their algorithms.
• Adam Cohen Islati: "Matchmakers have something special that dating apps don't have...it's called post-date feedback." (14:36)

7. AI & Dating: Enhancement or Threat?

• Augmentation, Not Replacement:
  • Both guests see AI as a tool to enhance but not supplant the human aspect, warning of the dangers of over-reliance and the potential for new forms of "catfishing."
  • Amy Anderson: "I think it's a nice kind of augmentation but it's not everything...People need to be able to rely on themselves and even if they feel that they don't have the answer themselves, like ask your friends like your trusted inner circle, who knows you well versus the machine." (19:25)
• Verification and Safety:
  • Adam describes 3 Day Rule's approach to integrating AI, including voice verification and lie detection to ensure profiles and intentions are genuine (20:46).
  • Adam Cohen Islati: "We look for your tonality and we actually have a lie detector built into our app...If your tonality changes...we're going to re-ask that same question in three different ways." (21:33)

8. Magic Wand: The Future AI Tool for Dating

• Amy Anderson: Wishes for a tool that allows users to ask AI intimate questions they wouldn’t dare ask a matchmaker, unlocking deeper self-knowledge (23:33).
• Adam Cohen Islati: Highlights 3 Day Rule’s existing AI coach integrated into their app, offering on-demand advice that democratizes access to expert guidance and support (24:35).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "A lot of that. I look to that information as noise."
  —Amy Anderson on clients' long checklists (01:54)

• "Dating apps have a 9% success rate. Matchmaking has between 70 and 80%."
  —Adam Cohen Islati highlighting the efficiency gap (08:28)

• "People don't know what they want...If you don't change your method, you're not gonna change the outcome."
  —Adam Cohen Islati on self-reflection and changing dating strategies (05:45)

• "It’s not about data or not data. It's about whether the most important parts of human connection can be quantified at all."
  —Liberty Wittert Capito wrapping up the philosophical crux (25:44)

Important Segments (Timestamps)

• Intro & Theme Overview (00:01)
• What do people really want? (01:47–06:40)
• Paradox of choice & dating app culture (06:41–09:22)
• Matchmaking efficiency and process (09:23–10:48)
• Dating app data & behavioral insights (10:49–12:42)
• Most predictive data for a ‘good match’ (12:43–13:46)
• Human intuition as data; evolution of matchmaking (13:47–17:00)
• AI’s role—benefit or risk? (19:00–21:56)
• Waving the magic wand: AI dreams for the future (23:02–25:29)
• Closing reflections (25:30–end)

Conclusion

The episode ultimately lands on a nuanced take: while algorithms, data analysis, and even AI can aid us in navigating romantic decisions, the core of lasting human connection remains difficult to quantify, and overwhelmingly benefits from personalized, human insight. Matchmaking's future may find a balance, fusing the efficiency of scalable technology with the wisdom of human experience.

Memorable closing thought:

"The data can guide you, but the chemistry? That's still all you." (25:47, Liberty Wittert Capito)