A Deeply Unserious India-Pakistan Summit with Kumail Nanjiani

Summary

Podcast Summary: "A Deeply Unserious India-Pakistan Summit with Kumail Nanjiani"

Podcast: Hasan Minhaj Doesn’t Know
Host: Hasan Minhaj
Guest: Kumail Nanjiani
Date: December 24, 2025

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Overview

This episode delivers a lively, deeply personal, and humorous exploration of India-Pakistan cultural ties, family, immigration, identity, and the peculiarities of comedy—with plenty of detours into pop culture, therapy, and pets. Hasan Minhaj and Kumail Nanjiani, two of the most visible South Asian comedians in America, use their shared heritage to dig into nostalgia, family dynamics, politics, and the ways storytelling shapes how we see ourselves and each other.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Early Banter: Poetry, Language, and Culture

• Urdu’s Beauty & Dramatic Poetry:

  • Hasan and Kumail bond over the poetry of Urdu, the culture’s attachment to metaphysical yearning, and Ghazal traditions.
  • Hasan translates a poem:

    "So intensely I have tried for you to be mine, that every particle has conspired that you meet me." - Hasan Minhaj (04:00)

  • They discuss how poetic wordplay overlaps with the search for punchlines in comedy.

• Family Cultures & Humor:

  • Kumail reminisces about family gatherings in Karachi—big, loud, joyful, “good hangs” with naturally funny people (13:23).
  • He shares stories about his prank-loving father, Ajaz, who terrified him as a child with djinn tales and hidden tape recorders (12:18–13:07).

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2. Pop Culture & Comedy Perspectives

• Evolution of Movies: Then vs. Now:

  • Nostalgic chat about 80s and 90s films—simpler villains, more warmth, better craft on film.

    “Not everybody has to have an origin story. Like some people are dicks.” – Kumail (05:03)

  • They bemoan the flatness and sameness in today’s filmmaking, blaming social media aesthetics (06:06).

• Comic Vibes on Set:

  • Kumail’s golden rule for showbiz: “It is your job to keep the vibes good. And you better bring fudgeing ice cream.” (07:08)
  • Both reflect on how keeping sets and green rooms loose and kind leads to better art (07:44–08:26).

• Mentorship & Awkward Hero Experiences:

  • Hasan recounts being shamed by Bill Cosby, advice on “likability,” and the emotional fallout (08:47–09:02).
  • They contrast this with encounters with Norman Lear and the global comedy connections from Hasan’s PBS days (09:25–10:45).

• Comedy as Cultural Bridge:

  • Discussion on Zakir Khan’s massive comedic impact in India and the power of standup as a direct, border-crossing art form (23:01–23:33).

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3. India-Pakistan: Sports, Cinema & Political Climate

• Cricket as Metaphor:

  • Kumail and Hasan dissect the deeper emotional stakes of India-Pakistan matches—pride, similarity, and the changing vibe from brotherhood to antagonism (16:14–18:15).
  • Hasan’s take:

    “When I hear this—India won, Pakistan won—I'm like, bro, the British won.” (18:35)

• Shifting Cinema Portrayals & Rising Animosities:

  • Kumail laments the cultural and cinematic shift toward antagonism and nationalism in Bollywood and Lollywood, noting a loss of the old “people are the same, governments have issues” message (18:57–19:53).

• War and Personal Fear:

  • Kumail describes the anxiety during recent India-Pakistan clashes, worrying for family and the pain of political escalation (19:53–21:20).

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4. American Identity, Citizenship, and Belonging

• Immigration Struggles:

  • Kumail shares his citizenship story; how it was emotional, but never fully belonging:

    “I’ve never felt American...A lot of the country doesn’t see me as American.” (27:47)

• Generational Perceptions:

  • The changes in his mother’s perception of American acceptance; fear, anxiety, and media amplify the sense of exclusion (28:49–31:40).

• Comedy/Existence as Political:

  • Both note that growing up desi (South Asian) or Arab is inherently political—conspiratorial, dramatic family conversations pre-date social media (32:22–33:19).

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5. Therapy, Family, and Individuality

• Therapy vs. Real Life:

  • Both comics discuss making fun of “therapy speak” while taking self-exploration seriously; emphasizing that true change is visible, not just verbalized (35:36–36:41).
  • Cultural differences: U.S. focus on individuality contrasts with South Asian collectivity and respect for elders (37:25–38:22).

• Family as Double-Edged Sword:

  • “Everything good in my life is because of my family, and everything bad in my life is because my fucking family.” – Hasan (37:48)

  • Navigating empathy, boundaries, and the importance of collective vs. individual well-being.

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6. Pets, Animal Love, and Cultural Differences

• Pet Ownership in Immigrant Life:

  • Discussions about cats, emotional solace, and the limits of Western pet culture compared to desi immigrant perspectives.
  • Kumail’s confession:

    “In general, I think animals are better than people.” (41:24)

  • Hasan roasts him:

    “I know you're married to a white person, but this is the whitest shit I ever heard in my life.” (41:31)

  • Both joke about the disconnect between Western and desi attitudes toward animals.

• Pets as Solitude:

  “The difference between friends and pets is that friends we allow into our company. Pets we allow into our solitude.” – (43:46, Robert Brault via Hasan)

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7. Pop Culture Hot Takes: Jurassic World & Movie Stardom

• Dinosaur Disdain:

  • Hasan’s skepticism about Americans loving dinosaurs and animals more than people; cultures of consequence in genre films (45:17–47:22).
  • Discussion of how “real consequences” are often ignored in Hollywood narratives.

• Movie Stars—Tom Cruise vs. Shahrukh Khan:

  • Kumail: “Shahrukh Khan is a God. He's not a movie star.” (53:18)
  • They examine the cultural role of Bollywood, mythmaking, and humility in stardom vs. Western ‘movie star’ air (53:29–54:48).

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8. Food, Family, and Night Life Nostalgia

• Food Memories:

  • Both reminisce about nighttime family outings, night markets, street food, and the joy of Indian/Pakistani sweets (Jalebi, Rasmalai, Shahi Tukda) (57:27–59:44).

• Late Nights as Family Time:

  • Observations on late bedtimes, odd in “American” culture but typical in South Asia, and the simplicity of “good clean fun” like midnight ice cream runs (57:11–58:14).

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9. Reflections on Aging and Life Purpose

• Advice on Turning 40:

  • Kumail reflects that 45 was harder than 40 because it made him confront mortality, but ultimately gave him clarity on what matters:

    “My purpose is to be with Emily, get to know her as much as I can, allow her to know me as much as I can, and that is the purpose of my life.” (63:01–63:38)

  • Discussion about zest for life, optimism, defining oneself by what you love rather than by what you hate (61:42).

• Living Well:

  • Working out as mental and physical balm for anxiety, appreciation of being present (64:44–65:58).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kumail on 80s Villains:

  “Not everybody has to have an origin story. Some people are dicks.” (05:03)

• On India-Pakistan cricket:

  “The big great thing about the India Pakistan cricket matches was our countries did not get along, but the people did...You really felt the similarities rather than the differences.” – Kumail (16:29)

• On not feeling American:

  “Your membership in a group is based on the other members seeing you as a member of the group. And there are always going to be a significant percentage...who don't see us as American no matter what.” – Kumail (27:47)

• On therapy vs. reality:

  "Therapy needs to be like a haircut. You can't tell us about it. We have to notice the difference." – Hasan (35:45)

• On family:

  “Everything good in my life is because of my family, and everything bad in my life is because my fucking family.” – Hasan (37:48)

• On pets and love:

  “The difference between friends and pets is that friends we allow into our company. Pets we allow into our solitude.” – Hasan quoting Robert Brault (43:46)

• On being present:

  “Working out...you can't be inside your head when you have a massive weight that you're holding over your head.” – Kumail (65:09)

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Key Timestamps for Reference

• Urdu poetry & poetic comedy: 03:00–04:21
• 80s/90s movies, villains, and craftsmanship: 04:53–06:18
• Comedy club/green room vibes & Bill Cosby story: 07:08–09:02
• India-Pakistan cricket and cultural similarity: 16:14–18:33
• On feeling (not) American, citizenship: 27:32–28:49
• Therapy, boundaries, and family structure: 35:36–38:27
• Pets, animal love, and culture clash: 39:05–43:46
• Movie stars: Tom Cruise vs. Shahrukh Khan: 51:03–54:29
• Bollywood's cultural impact & nostalgia: 55:02–57:11
• Reflections on turning 40/45 and life purpose: 60:21–63:38
• The importance of being present & working out: 64:44–65:58

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Tone & Style

The episode blends playful ribbing, deep sentiment, and open vulnerability. Both Hasan and Kumail move fluidly between silly sidebars and larger insights, maintaining irreverence but returning to shared humanity and resilience.

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Conclusion

This richly entertaining episode is as much about laughter, food, and pop nostalgia as it is about identity, belonging, and the messiness of modern immigrant life. Filled with sharp wit, cultural critique, and heart, it leaves listeners with a sense of camaraderie, warmth, and the enduring power of family and storytelling.

Transcript

[Hasan Minhaj]

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[Kumail Nanjiani]

Can I tell you a story I remember of you?

[Hasan Minhaj]

Oh God. Okay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You had just come from meeting Bill Cosby before. Before any of that stuff came out.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And he was not nice to you and it had really hurt your feelings when you were talking about it that he was being that he had been rude to you and mean to. Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

He said comedy is about likability. And I can tell immediately you're not likable. You know, it's really great when we see each other.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What?

[Hasan Minhaj]

You usually speak to me in Urdu.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Which is awesome.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Urdu is a beautiful language. So much of the Urdu language is. It's so poetic and beautiful. Yearning is not a thing here. They call it simping in English.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Do you. Do you know what I mean?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What do you mean? Yearning.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yearning, which is like. Which is like deep passion through language. Yeah. So did you have this growing up? Did they like Shirey and Guzzles?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Not very. They were not, like, super big into. I mean, we heard Ghazal is like. You know, we heard, like.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But you don't have any. Like, your dad doesn't have any poems that he, like, spits.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Everyone know. My mom was more into them, but not. Not really. We're not really like a.

[Hasan Minhaj]

My dad wanted me to play one for you. You don'.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, please.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You got to keep one in the cut, bro.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, let's keep. Is this. Is this your dad's recording?

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. He knows that I'm interviewing you. And he was like, ask him what his favorite shadow. Your poem is because your family's from Karachi or Islamabad. Karachi. Yeah. He was like, they for sure will know. I was like, I'll ask.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'm not from a cultured family.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Here we go. I mean, how would you even translate that to English?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I've tried so hard to get you.

[Hasan Minhaj]

So intensely I have tried for you to be mine that every particle has conspired that you meet me. Yeah. Or that we meet. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That sounds beautiful.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Come on, bro.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And that's before the first date.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's before the first date. Are you kidding me?

[Hasan Minhaj]

This is metaphysical Shires.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

All these poets were so dramatic.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I love it.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Like Meer and Ghaleb and all these people. It's really, really beautiful.

[Hasan Minhaj]

The only reason why I was asking you this is about the poetry thing specifically. So this is going to come out when your special comes out. So much of comedy. I don't know if you've ever done this when you're tagging a joke is you need to find alt words to describe something.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And I realized somewhere deep in my subconscious, I was like, urdu is already doing that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's amazing that you speak it so well. It's.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I don't. I don't speak it well. I mean, I speak it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You Speak it pretty well. You do.

[Hasan Minhaj]

So in the special, you talk about how during COVID you watch literally every movie from the 80s.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. What I find that's interesting about watching these movies is the things that were important, that are important now were not as important then. So, like right now, if you're doing a movie with a bad guy, the notes you get are always gonna be, why is he a bad guy? What's his psychology? What's behind it there? You don't really need to know. And bad guys could just be bad guys. And I think that there is value to that. Not everybody has to have an origin story. Like some people are dicks.

[Hasan Minhaj]

There's no art.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Dicks. Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I remember Back to the Future. I just remember the Libyan terrorists in front of J.C. penney.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That one.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And I thought that was so crazy. Just a craz. Crazy image. And JCPenney.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Because I go back to school, shop.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They just call them the Libyans.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

All Libyans are bad.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I remember even as a kid being like, don't. Don't love how that feels.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. The other thing that's interesting about movies now versus then is that the level of craft in movies was a lot higher, even in bad movies. The camera work, the set design, the warmth of how it looked and felt. Even bad movies looked and felt great and felt like good professional movies now, I think. And I think some of it is. Has to do with the aesthetic of front facing cameras. Like TikTok has become such a thing.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Right.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Movies are very flat now. They're shot very flat. The color palettes are very similar. They're just not as like, warm and dynamic as well. So those are the things that really, like, jumped out at me. It was like stories were simpler back then.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. And. And how rich and dark the color palette is when you shoot on film.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Well, you get these really beautiful, like, blacks.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Crush.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

How was your movie?

[Hasan Minhaj]

It was super fun. Oh, so fun. And I'm. We're doing it with young kids that are in their 20s. There's nothing better than that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What?

[Hasan Minhaj]

Because what's. What's the premise?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What's it called? No, you told me the premise. Yes. The Bollywood dance con.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's the best.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. Which is like a real dance competition that happens where like hundreds of thousands of kids, like, compete. It's awesome.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And with these kids, like really good dancers.

[Hasan Minhaj]

They're incredible.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's.

[Hasan Minhaj]

They're fucking incredible back flips. It was like an escape room meets Bollywood dance meets amazing. Meets. It was incredible.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So When? What. What stage are you in?

[Hasan Minhaj]

We're at it or not right now.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And how are you super involved in the edit already or you'll come in?

[Hasan Minhaj]

Right now I'm letting Lena, our director, she's in. She's doing.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, yeah. She's. She's got.

[Hasan Minhaj]

She gets. She gets 10. 10 weeks with it and.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But I did take your advice. Every week I did two things that you gave me the advice. You're like, it is your job to keep the vibes good.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And you better bring fudgeing ice cream. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Doesn't it?

[Hasan Minhaj]

Sometimes twice a week. Ice cream truck.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, it's really. Really makes a big difference. Every Friday have a dessert truck. And sometimes people. Like I said, sometimes people mess up, they get a coffee truck.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Don't get a coffee truck saying, work harder.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Coffee drink is saying, work harder.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Waffles, ice cream, cookies. Get something like that. Don't have it be normal food. Because they've had pretty good food already.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Via crafty.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. And then, yeah. You're sort of the captain of the vibes on set. And it's something that wasn't valued until fairly recently. Like that. You know, there was always like, yeah, this movie was hell. And it was. Everyone was terrible to the actresses, but the movie's good, so it's worth it.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Right.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And there are still some filmmakers who do sort of work like that.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I don't know. I mean, let me just say this. You used to run a show called the Meltdown. And one of the things you and Emily did, and Jonah, that was fucking phenomenal. You subverted that expectation too, by keeping the vibes loose in the green room.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Emily, really?

[Hasan Minhaj]

Emily is.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Emily's like a vibe mask.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Emily is actually literally Mehrabani.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes.

[Hasan Minhaj]

She is. Her kindness and her warmth, generosity. It is her Mehrabani made her thing that made the show so great.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Can I tell you a story I remember of you?

[Hasan Minhaj]

Sure.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

In the Meltdown green room.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Oh, God. Okay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You had just come from meeting Bill Cosby before. Before any of that stuff came out. Yeah. And he was not nice to you.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And it had really hurt your feelings. Yeah. Talking about it.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He was. He was being. That he had been rude to you and mean to you.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. He said comedy is about likability, and I can tell immediately you're not likable.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is that what he said? Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

It destroyed me. It was really rough. It was really hard on me.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Fucking asshole.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, obviously for.

[Hasan Minhaj]

For many other reasons.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Much worse reasons.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That, like because he knew in that moment that you looked up to him, that his cruelty to you would have a deep impact on you. He did that on purpose.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Bill Cosby himself, obviously. The Cosby Show, Fat Albert, you know, his books were incredible.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, he was Bill Cosby.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah, he's Bill Cosby.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I don't need to.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

How did that happen? What was the meeting?

[Hasan Minhaj]

I did a documentary, it was with PBS at the time called Stand Up Planet, where I went around the world and I met comedians around the world. So I went to India, got to do comedy in India for the first time, went to South Africa, got to meet South African comics. I actually learned about Trevor Noah through that documentary. But got to meet incredible. I mean, the Johannesburg stand up comedy scene, Luis Agola, like, there's incredible comics there that are still monsters to this day. And one of the things that they wanted to do at the end of it was like, hey, you bring a couple of these comics from different parts of the world and you're going to meet Norman Lear and you're gonna meet Bill Cosby.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Was Norman Learn.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Lear was the best.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And Bill Cosby was the worst. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So what comics did you bring over?

[Hasan Minhaj]

We brought from India, we brought this amazing comedian named Aditi Mayal.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And how. How was their experience meeting Norman Lear and Bill Cosby?

[Hasan Minhaj]

Oh, they loved it. I mean, they got to do the Laugh Factory for the first time. They got to. They met. Oh, my God, this is crazy. We did a showcase at the end of it where they got to do a spot. But get. But I got to like, curate the show. And I was like, there's these two comedians that I think would be great on the show with you that I think represent like the breadth of what American comedy is. And it was James Adomian and Nate Bargazzi.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

How about that?

[Hasan Minhaj]

Which was fudgeing.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I mean, I think.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I think I booked it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, you nailed it.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Like, I was like, they're so different. They're so different, but they represent the genre, in my opinion. Oh, I was meaning to ask you this. So it's interesting. Movies in the 80s didn't have as much of an influence on me, but movies in the 90s did. And I noticed there was this thing.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

90S, me too.

[Hasan Minhaj]

With movies in the 90s that there was this obsession with angels.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Uh huh.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And ghosts. The supernatural. Michael, you had ghost, 1990. Patrick Swayze. Angels in the outfield.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Seen that movie.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Kevin Costner, Field of Dreams.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Field of Dreams.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Literally, like the ghosts of.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I always try and Figure out out why these trends, the prophecy, the preacher's wife.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Denzel Washington is literally an angel.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Have you seen Fallen? No, Fallen is another like horror movie with an angel.

[Hasan Minhaj]

City of Angels.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Nicholas Cage, City of Angels.

[Hasan Minhaj]

What Dreams May Come. Robin Williams.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I just saw what Dreams May Come recently to like research for a part. I love that movie. It's got some stuff that doesn't age great, but it's a really beautiful. It looks amazing.

[Hasan Minhaj]

It's incredible.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah. And to me, Robin Williams, you know, is the pinnacle of comedian, legit comedian, stand up comedian, becoming a dramatic. Dramatic actor. Totally. Like, you know, Michael Keaton's amazing. He did stand up, but he wasn't a stand up comedian. Really. I don't think in the way that Robin Williams was a stand up comedian.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And then a dramatic actor. Although he did go to like drama school and stuff.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. Growing up in box on obviously ghosts, supernatural Djinn, Chupacabras. Do you have any djinn stories?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

My dad used to say that every night jinns have a tea party under my bed.

[Hasan Minhaj]

That's crazy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And he was like, you know, he.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Did this to punish you or he just did this for small talk.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He just thought it was very funny that I was afraid of the dark. And I was terrified of the dark for way too long. And my parents at night would have me go get them water from the kitchen cause it was dark to like train me. My dad played pranks on me constantly. He got this boom box and he recorded himself going like O. And then he would hide it and be like, who's that? The whole family's here. And then record.

[Hasan Minhaj]

What a legend. What's your dad's name?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Ajaz.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Oh, a Jaz.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He would write up a thing. He would record himself saying, Kum. Did you hear that? He said your name. He didn't say anybody else's name, just your name. So for years he tortured me.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. Oh, what a legend.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh yeah, he's.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Did you hate. Did you hate him for that?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, I. No, no. He was always, always. He loved teasing us and he loved teasing me. Cuz it would get to me. My brother didn't care.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Are you. Did you have a funny family? You guys were all fun.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I have a very funny family. Yeah. An extended family too. Like it was always valued to be funny. Like that was certainly a thing in my family. And still I have a really fun family. Like big extended family is really, really fun. I'm getting emotional talking about it. Like aunts, uncles, cousins, kids of cousins.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like we are a Good hang. And Emily says that too. Like, when I did my show in Toronto, I have a lot of family there. We went out for dinner afterwards, we went to this place that had Karachi food.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Oh, amazing.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And it's just like a very loud, fun, funny, good time. Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah, I. I found that. That is the thing that brings me tremendous amount of joy and comfort as I've gotten older.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like having a fun, big family. Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And just what you're talking about, what happened in Toronto, this is Gup chop vibes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Just b knee slapping.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Your uncle comes up to Chachas Kalas stuff that you kind of were like between our 20s and 30s, we're like, I gotta. Simba has to leave. Pride rock.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right. I totally feel that coming back. I totally feel that. I mean, we are big family. You know, my dad has four sisters and they all have their kids and all their kids have kids now.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Every Friday we would go out to dinner with whoever, you know. A couple of the sisters lived outside the country, but then they would. Then they eventually moved home. But every Friday, my dad's dad, my grandfather would take us all out. So it'd be a group of like 25, 30 people sometimes.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Oh, my God.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Every single Friday we went to a restaurant and it was. I looked forward to it the entire time. Like up until I moved when I was 18 or 19, whatever. That was my favorite time was just like going out to a dinner with my family.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Also with your cousin, you had cousins the same age?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I had cousins the same age, yeah. I had like a good crew of cousins my age. My brother had totally. My brother had like. But his age were a lot of girls, so it was, you know, he didn't have as much broing down as I did. And I'm still very close with my. With my cousins who are my beautiful.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Same.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I talk to them all the time. In fact, I probably have a text from one of my cousins about the match right now. I don't know how it's going. This is love. There's a match going on and I'm not watching it.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Okay. Can you explain this to me? What. What is with the cricket stuff?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What do you mean?

[Hasan Minhaj]

So you know, my brother in law is Pakistani, so my family's from India. He's Pakistani. Hardcore into cricket.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes.

[Hasan Minhaj]

My access point to it was all was always via India Pakistan cricket match.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Or it was always like India Australia or Pakistan Australia or Jamaica versus Sri Lanka. It was always. That was the access point. But the main, the main showdown was India, Pakistan And I was like, this isn't about cricket. This is about something else.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And so I understood it. I totally. I was like, I get it, but I'm not with this.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's national pride. Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But I'm not with it. I'm like, the only thing I partition is my hard drive. That's it. I'm not buying in. I'm not buying the premise.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, I think what was cool about India, Pakistan matches, that isn't so true anymore. One, we were two of the best teams in the world, and now Pakistan is not that good and India is the best team in the world. So obviously that's. It's tough. India Pakistan matches are very tough for me. But it was also. The big great thing about the India Pakistan cricket matches was our countries did not get along, but the people did. It was a form of, we're the same people, it's the same culture, it's the same language. I mean, I know India has a lot of languages. We have a lot of languages, but the national language is basically the same. Same food, same language, same culture. And so when we played cricket, you really felt the similarities rather than the differences. And I feel like there was kind of a brotherhood vibe to India Pakistan matches. Like, I mean, the streets were so.

[Hasan Minhaj]

It wasn't a grudge match.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It was not hatred. It was not hatred. There was real respect. And those players were, like, respected each other and were friends with each other. Like, there would be, like, heated whatever. But I always felt watching cricket, India, Pakistan, I would remember, like, yeah, we're all the same people. They're like, you know, you play Australia, you can have, like, the sick. Like you were saying, the DVD commentary. Sure. Against India, you don't have DVD commentary. Everybody speaks.

[Hasan Minhaj]

No, when you play Australia, it becomes lagone. I totally get it. This is a way to, like, subvert colonialism, and it's a different thing.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I never felt like that those teams did not like each other. It is different now.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like, you didn't. You probably didn't hear this, but India and Pakistan played last week and India refused to shake hands with the Pakistan team.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And I find that to be such a shame because sport and I have complicated feelings about sport overall, but sport is the one time where we really can put everything aside and play. Like, I think the Olympics are absolutely beautiful. I think it's such a beautiful global thing where the world comes together. It never, never does that. So I always feel like the sport, you know, sports is the one arena where you could really be like, all right, let's really respect each other and do this and be equals.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And the lack of handshake really was.

[Hasan Minhaj]

It breaks my heart, bro. Because when I hear this, India won, Pakistan won. I'm like, bro, the British won. This is how I feel in relation to this, you know, this whole issue. My dad would tell me stories about when he was a young man, he could actually, you could take a bus from Delhi from Aligarh Muslim University. He went to amu, he's an alumni and he would visit cousins and stuff in Lahore and Karachi.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, the thing that's really changed, that's really sad, is in the 80s, you know, when I watched Bollywood movies, the big thing was there would be like Muslim characters who were also good guys like, you know, Amar Akbar, Anthony. That's like a Christian guy, a Hindu guy and a Muslim guy and they're all brothers. That was always the thing. And I remember watching Bollywood movies. I didn't watch as many Pakistani movies actually, because I've seen some, but they were lower budget Bollywood movies. Big and fun and Right. But it was always that the people of India and Pakistan are the same. It's the governments have issues, but we're the same people. And now I feel like that's changed. I feel like there's in Bollywood and I'm sure in Pakistani movies as well, Lollywood, there just feels to be, seems to be a lot of like antagonism and animosity and nationalism in a way that I think isn't helpful.

[Hasan Minhaj]

How did your family, how was the four day kind of war situation? How was that for your family?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It was very stressful. Massive explosions could be seen and heard in Pakistan as India's army launched its strikes targeting what it described as terrorist infrastructure. Pakistan says 26 people were killed and 46 others were injured, calling the attack.

[Hasan Minhaj]

An act of war.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I was talking to my friends a lot, I was talking to my parents a lot, you know, and there was a lot of misinformation flying around. And I have family in Karachi and that was one of the places that was attacked. So it was absolutely, really, really scary. It was very, very scary. So the worst it's, it's been in a very long time. So those days I remember like, you know, talking to people in the middle of the night and stuff like my body, I, I, as you talk about it, I remember the feeling of what it was like to be worried for my family back there and also just the incredible sadness of what, what's happening. I mean it's, it's It's. It's personal sadness, obviously, personal fear for my family, but also just generally sadness and fear for. It really doesn't feel any progress is being made at all. It's. It's really. It's really tough also, because India is so much more powerful than Pakistan, you know, in terms of. I mean, economically and cultural impact and all that stuff. I mean, India is doing really, really well, and Pakistan's had challenges.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Do you. You're a US citizen now, right?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. You've talked about this.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I am. I used to be like, I'm a citizen now. They can't kick me out. I think they can kick me out. I think that's changed.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Well, you do the whole story. This is one of your iconic bits that you. I've seen you do in standup, but now you brought it into the hour, which was your big meeting, your immigration meeting.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Or it was your citizenship meeting.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. I'd done that bit here and there for years. That's really the only old bit that I think is in there, I think. But I never put it on anything, and I just felt like, oh, it feels like the right time to be sort of talking about stuff like this.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I wanted it in the special, say, I'm an immigrant and I belong here, you know, without saying that directly. So that's why I put that story in. And I put it in really, really towards the end of. End of the set, because I wanted. I would help people watch it and like, oh, I like this guy. And at the end, you know, have that. I don't know. I don't know if anything. Does anything anymore, but it was important to me to. To have that story in there.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. You know, my favorite part of the bit is when you go. They go, how do your parents feel about the fact that you'll raise your kids, Christian?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And then you're like, they're not going to be happy. But I love Jesus so much.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I really like it, too. I just feels really. It speaks to the fear that we all have always lived with, and the fear. That fear is, like, bigger now than it's ever been. I mean, you're born here, you're. But still, you obviously feel the. It's not great for us. Right? Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But I think, you know, I got to. I don't know if you're familiar with Zakir Khan, the comedian from India. He's incredible.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

He's huge.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Absolutely incredible comedian.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Didn't he sell out, man?

[Hasan Minhaj]

He sold out msg. And I got to open for him and I got to see him do his act. Bro, this is. It's something you haven't seen before. It's basically like Java Doctor poetry meets like Ray Romano family storytelling meets. Mike Birbiglia meets like.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I should watch that.

[Hasan Minhaj]

It's incredible.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is that power available anywhere?

[Hasan Minhaj]

He's got several hours, but they're on Amazon. But it's, it was, it showed me no matter what is happening politically in the world, comedy and the use of language, it's a very powerful art form in and of itself. Whether it changes anything or not.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, no, no.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I do think it matters in and of itself.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I think it matters in and of itself also because it's people speaking directly to an audience. There isn't like a thing of symbolism or you're just speaking directly. So for me, it's also been a real bummer to see so much of comedy being divisive right now. And it's really, it's just really upsetting. I always felt like the, you know, and they'll say the job of comedy is to speak truth to power, but you're speaking falsehoods in support of power.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Right?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So it's been a real. It's been really interesting seeing and then seeing which comedians have decided to like align with that cynically to become more successful or whatever it is. It's, it's really, it's weird to see.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I recently found the best deal ever on Japanese denim. I was so excited. Finally, the high quality product I love at a more reasonable price. But after checkout, I never got a confirmation email. Shady. And unfortunately it was never coming. I got scammed. Thankfully, Nord Protect was able to reimburse me. Listen, I'm a smart shopper. I never fall for the phishing email links. But these guys knew my kryptonite. I felt targeted and incredibly embarrassed. We all get played sometimes. Now, thankfully, Nord Protect has our back. Nord Protect is an identity theft protection service that you can trust. And now you can get 5% off a Nord Protect plan of your choice with code Hussan. Nord Protect is built to help users safeguard their identity with advanced automated features that work in the background 24 hours a day, seven days a week, such as dark web monitoring, credit monitoring and security alerts. They also offer financial protection like up to $10,000 for fake transfer or fraud related losses. Plus, they have three plans to choose from. They have the perfect fit for their budget now. To get an exclusive 5% discount on NordProtect plans, go to NordProtect.com Hasan and use the code Hassan at checkout. Stay safe out there my friends. This message comes from at&t. America's first network is also its fastest and most Reliable based on RootMetrics United States Root Score Report 1H 2025 tested with best commercially available smartphones on three national mobile networks across all available network types. Your experience may vary. RootMetrics rankings are not an endorsement of ATT. When you compare, there's no comparison. AT&T. As someone who is culinary challenged, the holidays are my biggest op. I love the idea of hosting my family and friends, but what the heck am I supposed to feed these people? Thankfully, Whole Foods Market entered the chat. They are heat in each sides from the prepared foods department have single handed kept my family together in synthetic coloring free. Yay. You know what's better than hosting? Celebrating in other people's homes. Because for those gatherings I am not responsible for the full spread. I just gotta show up with a host gif. And that is easy money. At Whole Foods they have seasonal candles, a floral department full of bouquets and cookie gift boxes in the bakery. Pro tip. I go for the expert curated cheeses and grab some crackers to go with them. Guaranteed hit. But if you really want to impress, Whole Foods has gift sets in their body care and wellness departments free of over 240 ingredients that don't meet their standards. Going back to your hometown Whole Foods Market, you can order online for pickup and delivery in select zip codes. It's the best way to avoid people from your high school. Shop for everything you need at Whole Foods Market, your holiday headquarters. I was going to ask you, now that you're, you're a citizen, do you feel like an American?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't think I feel like anything.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Really?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Like I've always felt like even though I'm born here, I'm like, bro, I'm a citizen. I'm not an American.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I don't feel like I'm. I have a library card. I have a driver's license. Yeah, like I have a blue passport.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, I think your membership in a group is based on the other members seeing you as a member of the group. And there are always going to be a significant percentage of members of America who don't see us as American no matter what. So I think that's a big part of it. Yeah. No, I don't. I've never felt American. I'm very happy to be here. Obviously, it's a country that made my dreams come true. I met the love of my life here and I Love it. But I've never felt American. And I've been very aware of the fact that I don't feel American and that a lot of the country doesn't see me as American.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Did becoming a citizen here, did it feel unique in the sense that when you come and visit or arrive as a kid, you have like the Disneyland hat and you're like, that's the Warner Brothers lot and that's where the Animaniacs live and it's this kind of rose colored glasses. And then the longer you lived here, did you. What was it like seeing political discourse and society change? How was that for you?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, I'll say actually becoming a citizen was very emotional for me. Like, it was a very emotional day. And it was interesting because you're in this huge room, like maybe a thousand people, huge room, and there's a line in the middle of the room and people in front of the line are going to take the oath and become American. And people behind the line, it doesn't count. So Emily couldn't be there in front of the line with me. She was in the back. And I'm there with all these people who are becoming Americans. And it's all like, there's little kids, there's like old, old ladies, some people are crying and some people are like on their phones while it's happening. There's just like all different kinds of people going through it. But I found it to be very, very. I was very moved. I've seen, obviously when you're, you know, I was raised in Pakistan, I watched Hollywood movies, you have a certain vision of America. Streets are lined with gold, land of opportunity, land of dreams, all this stuff. Then you come here and you obviously see over the course of now, I've been here 25, 30 years, long time, you see the subtleties of that and you see the ways in which it's true and the ways in which it's not true. And I feel it used to America is a country of immigrants. And this idea, there was always this ideal of we accept all kinds of people, we accept everyone. And that wasn't always true, but it was at least an ideal that people would pay lip service to. And now I feel like that's changed. I feel like people don't want to even pay lip service to that. So that's been a big difference. And I've seen through my mom's eyes how her view of America has changed over the last few years. So to me, that's like the starkest contrast of how she used to think about America and how she used. How she thinks of it now. She just was like when she first came. I mean, they love it here. They live in Jersey and they absolutely love it. Oh, my God. They have, like, a big group of, like, desi friends, you know, Indian, Pakistani people. Yeah, yeah. They love it here. But when she first came here, she was sort of struck by the freedoms and the lack of, you know, I mean, just that there was support for everything.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And then now she's. She's like, oh, they don't want us here. And I think to her, that's. She's very, very tense and scared about all of it. And it's been. Now it's going close to 10 years that she's been worried about this. So to me, that's what's really heartbreaking, is that she's like, we already left Pakistan. Where will we go now? They don't want us here. And I can't be like, no, they do, because they don't.

[Hasan Minhaj]

So then where do you tell your parents to apply their thoughts and hopes? Where do you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I do say that you have to, like, you have a good group of friends and you're in a place that is safe and there are. I still think it's a small minority that's being, like, particularly xenophobic right now. I don't think it's like, the massive. It's not everyone. It just feels like everyone because they're the ones who are loudest and in power. So I try and tell her that, and I tell her to not watch the news so much. She just watches. She just follows everything too much. And it's like this. You kind of have a disconnect because.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Okay, so I think this makes sense. Our parents, crazy. But it also makes them super funny. So I'll give you an example. Do you ever have this in interviews where they were like. They talk to you. They go, were you always funny or were you always political? But if you grow up in a desi or Arab household, bro, your. Your existence is political. Like, yes. Conspiracy theories, political conversation.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

This predates WhatsApp.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like, oh, yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

All of my friends.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And their families, they have deep, deep conspiracy theories and sub stories. And sub.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, yeah. And that's how we're raised. We're taught, you know, all our histories are so dramatic.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Which is. All of. It's also super funny.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You're like, wait, what, his. Yeah, his nephew set him up with the CIA.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, he did.

[Hasan Minhaj]

There's just great stories.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You know you don't even need podcasting for it. It was. It predates all of that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's. We're a very passionate, dramatic people. Ye.

[Hasan Minhaj]

So I feel like it set us up for this time. And I think this is why you have to see Zakir's act, because what it showed me was, no matter how crazy things are in the world in India, certainly things are very interesting there. Right now. He's created his own world in that room.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's great.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Which is a very beautiful, important thing.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, I have to think that the stuff we do, the stuff we make has to make a difference. Otherwise there's really. What is the point of anything? But I should. I'll go watch. I heard. I was actually doing my play when he was. I wanted to go see him, but those.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Oh, bro. It was a life changing time. It was a life changing experience to watch it. I should have. Can we. Can we hard pivot into Night Thoughts?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, sure.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I mean, I've been vacillating in and out of it. I love the title Night Thoughts. I love that run.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, thank you.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. Because the idea of Night Thoughts, which is essentially. If you haven't seen the special, go watch it. But it's a collection of. It let you basically do one liners.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You have so many one liners that you're just sitting in your notes app.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. I just was like, whatever weird thought I had.

[Hasan Minhaj]

What does CVS stand for? It's fucking incredible.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I wrote down so many of them and I tried different versions of them. You know, I was like, oh, this is like a container that I could put a bunch of, like, jokes into.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. Female regrets are great too.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. You have night thoughts all the time.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I have day thoughts all the time.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I have day thoughts, but I find it easy to distract myself and do stuff. But, you know, the night thoughts and. And I've gotten better.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You for real? You for real still suffer from insomnia or you just, like, you're just up thinking about stuff?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It'll happen in the middle of the night when I wake up. It's like, if I get up to go to the bathroom at like 4am, it's 50 50. Whether I go right back to sleep or if I lay there for an hour having night thoughts, it's genuinely 50. 50 didn't happen last night. Last night was good. But two nights ago I did have them. And I just. I mean, I've been doing therapy a lot and stuff, which I also talk about in my special, but so I've Gotten better tools of it. But I still, you know, it's like decades and patterns of thinking and my brain being a certain way that there's still resistance to, like, change.

[Hasan Minhaj]

We have two wildly different perspectives on both therapy and pets.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Tell me.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I mean, for me, therapy needs to be litigated and live reality. That's my whole thing.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What do you mean?

[Hasan Minhaj]

I have a whole bit. Therapy needs to be like a haircut. You can't tell us about it. We have to notice the difference.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes. Right. Oh, I completely agree.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. So that's my.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Totally true. Yeah, yeah, I think that's. That's really good. But I do think I. And I don't think everybody needs therapy. I don't think anyone can afford therapy. I just know that it was.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I've also had a couple therapists that have in the session been like, can I add this to my book? And I'm like, you gotta be fucking kidding me.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, that's the other thing. It's such a specific personal thing. And a lot of people have tried therapy and been like, not for me. Well, sometimes finding a therapist that works for you is very, very difficult.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But I. But I do think that self exploration. Let me just say this, bits aside, it is important. Yes, but it, but it has to be litigated in reality.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I know.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I need you to. Mom, dad, partner, whoever isn't there. I need you to move the chains forward here.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

People use therapy and therapy speak to like, justify being.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Sure, yeah, I hear you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I receive you the most weaponized.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But I don't have the bandwidth.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, exactly. I don't have the band.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I got you to up the band.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Setting a boundary. No, you're. You're not. You're being a dickhead.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You're being a dick.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, totally, totally, totally agree with that.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah, my boundaries. We're not going to daddy's house. Daddy's about to die. You're going to.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You're going to.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah, yeah, we have to go to daddy's house. She's about to die.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, exactly, exactly, exactly. Well, that's the other big thing I've noticed in the difference between, like that. That took me a while to be able to articulate is we're in Pakistan at least, and I'm sure India too. Very, very family focused. Like, that's very important. And the respect of elders. I mean, we have different pronouns for people older than younger than you. You don't call anybody older than you just by their name. You call them pai or apa, which.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Means older Brother, My son just met you. I was like this Kumail uncle.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, exactly.

[Hasan Minhaj]

First meeting.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Exactly. That's what you have to do.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Right.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And I think that whole thing of, like, you're not. You're just you representing your whole family here, there's such a big focus on individuality.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That I think there are some downsides to that.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you can be so into what's happening in your own mind that it's solitary confinement.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Exactly.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But the problem with the other side is it's both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything good in my life is because of my family, and everything bad in my life is because my fucking family. Yes. That's the reality.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. I think you have to figure out the balance, split the difference. Because here there's become this thing of, like, it's such a focus on individuality and personal freedom that caring for the society at large is not valued as much. And I don't think a society can survive like that. I think part of. Part of being a person in a society is caring for how you're.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You're talking about empathy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'm talking about.

[Hasan Minhaj]

That's empathy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But, you know my hot take when I watch you do bits about therapy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What?

[Hasan Minhaj]

You already have Emily.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I do. I know. I'm cheating.

[Hasan Minhaj]

She's the. Yeah. Checkmate to all of this. Yeah. Versus some person on a zoom screen.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, No, I totally have, like, her.

[Hasan Minhaj]

She's. She's got a PhD in empathy. I mean, she. She was or is a. Like, she was a licensed therapist.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

She. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She went to, like, grad school for therapy and was a practicing therapist for years, and now she isn't. But. Yeah, I mean. I mean, you know, of the stuff that. It's so true. I talk to her about it. Night thoughts. You know all that stuff. I talk to her about it. What's your take on pets that's different from mine?

[Hasan Minhaj]

I don't want to. I don't want to be offensive.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, no, it's not offensive. I don't currently have any pets.

[Hasan Minhaj]

So you talk about bagel and your special. Who's your cat?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And rip. Bagel and rip. And as we know, and in many traditional madhubs of Islam, obviously, cats are loved and revered and were allowed to have them. My issue with pet people is the way you start that bit where you literally put bagel into your mouth. And I'm not talking about carbs, because you clearly haven't had any carbs in a long time. I'm Talking about your animal.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Mouth to mouth.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You don't like that. Yeah, I get that.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Mouth to mouth.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I didn't really kiss Bagel on the mouth or anything. I did not. Some people kiss their dogs on the mouth. I'm not into that.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I'm talking about a culture where here people will walk over a homeless person as they take their dog to Poptopia.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Crazy. You could.

[Hasan Minhaj]

So I'm. I'm. I'm. I find that to be a little ridiculous.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Totally. I completely agree.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yes.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like, if you write a movie and you. Someone kills 17 people, that's fine. They kill one dog. Hey, you can't do that.

[Hasan Minhaj]

They're like, this is not likable.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You can't do that.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. This is really unlikable.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's totally true.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yes. Now, again, I'm saying this. I'm not Michael Vick. I don't believe in no punishing or hurting them. But they are. Again, this is where there's the limitations of language, bro. They're John Ver. They are animals. See how you got it? His smile. He got it. John. How would you describe John Vertus?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

John, what is like a beast?

[Hasan Minhaj]

A beast?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. I mean, I would.

[Hasan Minhaj]

That's what Republican. The Republican Party thinks of immigrants. They go. They're Johnvar.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes, exactly. It's totally.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But I call Janvar. Janvar.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, Janvar. Janvar.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Do you understand what I'm saying?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I do.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I will say they're in gangs.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

One of my.

[Hasan Minhaj]

They carry guns. If you're. If you're back home and you go down an alleyway, they go, don't go down that alleyway.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Dogs.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah, there's. There's dogs there.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I've been chased by many dogs. I was terrified of dogs until not that long ago because I'd been chased by too many dogs on the streets of Karachi. We have a lot of stray dogs. We have a lot of, like, I think rabid dogs. I will say I do really love being with animals, and I do think this is a very controversial statement.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Sure.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

In general, I think animals are better than people.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You got to stop with that.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I knew you were going to.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I know you're married to a white person, but this is the whitest shit I ever heard in my life.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I've come to it. I've come to it honestly, and I.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Do a bit about this. I'm just like, I get it. I understand this. But you need to know that the reason why you feel that way is because you're a piece of shit and your pet is Too dumb to know that you're a piece of shit. You can literally put about that into a cage.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'll take that.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You can. You can beat them, you can deny them food and water and they will still come back to you the moment you come back from your trip.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, I certainly think that's part of it. Part of it is the unconditional love.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But radical acceptance even when you don't deserve it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right? That's totally true. I don't have to apologize to them or negotiate with them or.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But they don't hold a mirror to.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They're being true to their own nature at all times. Whereas.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Their own nature. Yeah, they're literally inbred.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

The genre nature.

[Hasan Minhaj]

They're inbred animals to sit on your lap almost like you're a pet.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Queen of England.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

My. My cat was a rescue. She was not inbred. She was literally the opposite. Like some. Someone fucked her mom on the street. Sure.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Oh, my God. Why'd you say that?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I don't know. Sorry. That way.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Say it that way. Here's what it is. Is that again. I know what they are. I acknowledge what. But do you have any pets? I didn't grow up with pets. And I was bit. I didn't grow. I was bit by a dog.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I did not grow up with pets. I grew up with neighborhood cats that I really, really loved. And I was the only kid who played with them.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And I love that cats are self cleaning and.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, they are.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And I love that they make you work for their love.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's very interesting. They do.

[Hasan Minhaj]

That's why they remind me of my mother in that way.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

They're like, you gotta earn it.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. You gotta. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's not unconditional.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. They both. And weave condition emotionally.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I. What was I saying? I did not grow up with pets. I would not have gotten a pet if it wasn't for Emily. Emily was like, we need a pet. I don't have kids. So obviously there's no real comparison. Obviously I'm not making that comparison. But I'm saying having a cat, no kids. But having a cat did teach me a new kind of love that I think having a kid would teach you in a much, much deeper and much more substantial and real way. I'm not comparing the two. But having this cat did make me love in a new way.

[Hasan Minhaj]

So I don't believe this, but my producer gave me this quote. So here's a quote from a writer named Robert Bralt about pets. The difference between friends and Pets is that friends we allow into our company. Pets we allow into our solitude.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's true. Yeah. I love. I love being with her on my own when Emily was away, like, she was on my lap, and she. It was a. It was a lot of good company, a lot of solace. I mean, I really, really. She just passed away two weeks ago, and, you know, she was 17. Emily and I had been married for 18, so they were truly. You know, it was always the three of us. And to me, home was always Emily and Bagel because, you know, traveling all over the world, suddenly I have to be in some other country for six months doing something. So the only concept I had of home was the two of them. If the two of them are with me, then this is home. And so it's a really, like, a big, really big loss. Actually went and got her ashes yesterday, and that was a horrible experience and in a different way than I had. I knew it would be horrible, but I didn't realize it would be. It was horrible in a completely different way than.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I wish you would have done a little cat Chinaza. That would have been cute. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

God, that was so cute. Sorry. I'm sorry. But also cute.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It would have been little thing.

[Hasan Minhaj]

It would have been little imam. I would have thrown down a little dua for baby.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. Thank you. Of course, bro. Yeah. Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Okay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So.

[Hasan Minhaj]

So you've seen Jurassic World. Yeah. You've seen Jurassic World?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

The newest one.

[Hasan Minhaj]

The newest ones.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I have not seen the newest one, but I've seen all the others.

[Hasan Minhaj]

So here's fundamentally where. You know, my son, who you met, loves them.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Have you seen the original one, too?

[Hasan Minhaj]

I have this poster up because of him.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Great.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And when he shook your hand out there, he's wearing his. I saw the loves them hardcore. I opt out, and I'm friends with a lot of people in them. In this upcoming. I. I think it's. Now there's. There's been three or four Jurassic worlds.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Which they returned back for. I led Nublar. And they basically are like, let's run it back.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, yeah, let's do this again.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I know we it up, but let's run it back. And they bring back Dr. Wu, Asian dude from 1992. They bring him back.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

O. Really?

[Hasan Minhaj]

And he's like, let me just keep breeding.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I think I could do this.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. I think I can do this. They kill Irfan Khan. It's fucked up. He, like, dies in a helicopter crash. Rip.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I remember I saw that.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. But a running motif in these Jurassic World movies is now dinosaurs are here. They're not just off the coast of Costa Rica. They're not on Isla Nublar.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, they're like, in our.

[Hasan Minhaj]

They're here. Yeah. Yeah. So there's, like, in the cold open, there's like the nasdaq, New York Stock Exchange, and then a fucking pterodactyl, like, flies into it. And they're like. As the pterodactyls live amongst us, this is like a part of the cold open. So Janvar are now here, and they're Genvar from the Jurassic period. They're from 65 million years ago. Then Bryce Dallas Howard, incredible actress who plays Claire, goes and is like, we need to free them. We need to free the dinosaurs.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. There's a big.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And that's. That's the problem with it. That's my.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

You're like, we should be respecting people more than animals. Animals.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You're like, in some way, leave them on the island.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Leave them on the island. That's right.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Dare I say, build a wall around the island. We fucked it up and let it go.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. I completely agree. I will say, if you ever get a pet, you will start to see not Jurassic differently, but you will start to see animals differently.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But I've seen people in the theater, the moment she opens the gates and lets the triceratops out.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

People were like, People are like, we get it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. No, I mean, I just.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Like, in my. That's where. That is my moment where I know I'm not an American. I wonder, because I go, are you.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Is that a specifically American thing? The sort of, I think, fetishization of animals?

[Hasan Minhaj]

To love a triceratops that much or to just be like, it's just a velociraptor.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, if you think of, like, movies, dog movies. They're big. People love dog movies. I mean, John Wick. The entire story starts because somebody kills his dog.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I think it's. It's the understanding of real consequences. Notice how in none of the Jurassic World movies do black people run it back.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Right.

[Hasan Minhaj]

The way black people have a reverence and understanding of ghosts is the same relationship they have with dinosaurs.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. Does Emily have a haunted house thing? Or, like, oh, let's stay at this cabin? No. You know, in the 1800s, someone was killed here. Let's stay here.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

No, she does not.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

That's my relationship with. Simultaneously with Jin and with.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I'm not looking to go to those places.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I see you. I acknowledge your statehood. You do exist.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, you, that's your area. This is my area at the UN.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Resolution I will acknowledge that you did Capital J Jin exists but I don't.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Want to reside to your town yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah, I don't need to visit or.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

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[Hasan Minhaj]

Oh, you tweeted this. This was kind of crazy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh no, what did I do?

[Hasan Minhaj]

Years ago you had this tweet where you wrote you were at a movie premiere with Tom Cruise and you wrote, quote, tom Cruise is great at being a movie star.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

What do you remember about that day that made you go, this guy's a.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Great it's hard to know what it is. Is it what he is, or is it the people's reaction to him? Because people say, like, you know, the movie star, when they walk in, it changes the room. Now, is it something inherent to them or is it just that? We've seen them since we were kids, but he was there, and so obviously everyone's looking to him. He's one of those guys that's like Tom Cruise all the time. You know, you won't ever catch him, look tired. He looks directly at people. I know a bunch of people who've met him. They're like, he went to have a meeting and the person who, like, you know, gave him coffee went back seven years later and was like, hey, Theresa, good to see you. And they're like, how the fuck does he remember? So part of that is, I mean, that he's got a certain intensity that I think maybe in more intensity than any other actor who still consider. Who still plays, like, good guy parts.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So he's got this, like, appealing intensity, which is tricky to do. You know, there's a lot of great actors don't have it right. He does. He looks at people and he's just like. He's just good at being in the limelight. He's just good at, like, drawing attention to himself. He's good at making you feel good, making you feel like he's one of you, but he's not really. He's Tom Cruise. He's a movie star.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. It's extreme positivity. I did an Act 1 of the Daily Show. Me and Clubber did an Act 1. He was the Act 3 guest. We finished the Act 1. He was like, hilarious.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Exactly. And that's like, whoa, that's it. There's. Have you seen Scott Pilgrim? Work versus the World.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Of course.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There's a part where Chris Evans. Look is. He plays a movie star in it and he has a phone and he's like, that's actually hilarious. Hilarious.

[Hasan Minhaj]

That's actually hilarious.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Hilarious. He says it twice. Yeah, that's from Tom Cruise was with the director and was like, that's hilarious. Hilarious. Like, he would say it twice. So that's from that. But see, that, like, that is a. That is a movie star move. I'm sure he thought it was funny, but, like, telling you, that's the other thing I've learned in my. As I've gotten older, if I like something, somebody did, I tell them who's.

[Hasan Minhaj]

A better movie star, Tom Cruise or Shahra Khan?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, Shahrukh Khan is a God. He's not a movie star.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Oh, you're saying there's levels to this.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I agree. I mean, Shahrukh Khan is, you know, I mean, here's the thing. People don't understand.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Can I tell. Can I tell you why? His superpower is he's at a whole nother level. We're comparing apples and oranges. Once again, the mastery of Urdu as a language, which is you're simultaneously the biggest movie star in the world, which is a very American individual thing. But it's the humility factor.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, that's a big. I was. I was gonna say I've watched interviews with Shahrukh Khan a whole lot and what he. Tom Cruise will come out. He's a movie star Shade. He's a movie star. Shahrukh Khan is like, oh, I'm nothing. I'm. You know, he's totally. Obviously he knows that's not true, but that he's so confident in his movie star ness that he actively downplays it. He's also, you know, just a very versatile actor. Like his. His first. He was the first like lead movie star guy that I remember to start playing like complicated bad guy roles. Totally like Kiran and what was there were Dar was those two movies.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I think he was like sort of like a bad guy in. That was really interesting. What people don't understand here really is what movies are to India. They're not to people here. I mean, there, it's like such a big part of the culture. And the people who are movie stars, there are gods, they're kings. I mean, the Bollywood movies are. I mean, you know, you go, you spend five hours in a theater, that's your whole day. Like the reverence that people have there for movies America has never had.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. And it also being an amazing pastime.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes. It's an amazing.

[Hasan Minhaj]

That's the thing that still holds the test of time.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And it's about entertaining people. And you know, there'll be like every movie if you look at like a normal Bollywood masala movie, it has like action drama, romance, comedy songs. Every movie is everything.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yes. But then there's also great auteur directors as well.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes. Art films.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Art films, art films. And even within the big budget. Sanjay Leela Bhansali is an amazing director. Period pieces. He's Martin Scorsese. You think of a big Mughaliasm. Hey, someone is doing bharanatiyam in a palace.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Sanjayla Mansali.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Then there's like Zoya Akhtar. Zoya will just do these great, like kind of art house.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Almost like talkie relationship. Yeah, it's dope.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

There's a lot of great stuff being made over there. And the. Obviously everyone knows RR here, but.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yes. Yeah, but that's tip of the iceberg. That's tip of the iceberg, in my opinion.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. No, I watch, I watch Bollywood movies fairly regularly. Emily and I watch them whenever I visit my parents for a few days.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah, we. I love watching movies. My parents.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. I mean, I. That's how I grew up. I watched movies with my parents all the time. Every Saturday, we would watch a Bollywood movie every Saturday.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Why do you think it still holds with us? Why do you think Bollywood movies, when you're at ghar with your parents, why.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Does it still feels like home? It feels like home. I mean, it just feels like there's a warmth to watching a movie in your language with your family that it does not exist when you watch English movies together. And we do watch English movies together too. We watch Hollywood movies together. But there's a feeling of like, oh, our people made this movie for us. Even if, you know, I understand now there are differences between India and Pakistan. Politically, I still maintain, but the themes are the same, People are the same. If you look at a Bollywood movie, that's much closer to Pakistani culture than any Hollywood thing. So. So I think there's like a warmth to it. It really just feels like I feel pride when I watch Bollywood movies. I'm like, oh, yeah, look, look at what we're doing. Look what we're making.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. It's also a great way to, like, when I'm home with them for the weekend to close out the evening, we're.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like, yeah, here we go. And I have a. I have a late night family. What's your family's bedtime? My family doesn't eat till 9 and my mom doesn't go to bed till 2am same.

[Hasan Minhaj]

My mom's nuts in that way. Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's like a real late night family.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

And that's how I grew up. Late nights. And now, now I'm doing this play. Well, this, by the time this airs, this will be done. So I'm going to bed later than I have been. But right in my normal life in New York, in, in LA, I've kind of started going to bed at like 9pm and it feels like I'm really letting my family down.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah, I'm doing that now because my kids are young, but, oh, we're a 1 2am Family. Super. Fun. It's super fun staying up late with your parents.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, my God.

[Hasan Minhaj]

It's a weird thing, but if I were to say that to my quote unquote American friends, they'd be like, are you getting high with it? Like, what's going on? So one or two.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, that's the thing, you know, like, we don't. We don't drink or anything. So I have the family who at midnight is gonna go find a place where you get ice cream.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Of course. Gcf. Good clean fun.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, exactly.

[Hasan Minhaj]

It's hardcore to me.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

That's. Or go to like, you know, Disney. Walk and walk around and get.

[Hasan Minhaj]

That's one of the best things. By the way, I don't know if you've gone back to box honor recently. I go back twice a year to India. It's the best.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Where do you go in India?

[Hasan Minhaj]

Bro, I hit it all. I'm a UN diplomat.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Where is your family?

[Hasan Minhaj]

So my family's from majority in Delhi, but we'll do Delhi. Then we'll do Lucknow where my Nani was before she passed away. Then we'll go see my wife's side of the family. They're in indoor, so they're in. And then we'll go to Gujarat.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

So I'll hit every little family from Gujarat too.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I don't have family in Gujarat. Her family's in Gujarat. And then I'll go to Mumbai and just visit like. Like, yeah, Bombay friends. Have you done a lot of going out at night? Yes, between 11 and 2am and it's not Waffle House ratchetry. It's like GCF. Good clean. You're gonna go get. There's food and dessert and Goofy. And I watch so many.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Like, there are like these YouTube channels of people, like, who go to like, street food in Karachi.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah, Night markets.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, night markets. And it's just so, so beautiful. It's like a midnight 1:00am yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Streets. So, yeah, me and. Me and Zakir, he's from Gujarat. We went to Sarafat, which is like a night market. Famous night market in indoor. And he just put on his, like coveted mask. It was the best. I got a jalebi that was the size of my hand. Brought jalebi the size of my hand. I could palm a Spalding basketball.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I was going to name my next cat Jalebi, but I don't think.

[Hasan Minhaj]

What a great name. Why not?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Jalebi is like my favorite dessert. Jalebi.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Okay.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Rasamalai. Yeah. Do you know Shahi Tokura?

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah, of course.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Those are My three favorite.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I like that it's called shahi Tokara. Like a little piece.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, a little piece.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But you're not gonna have a little piece.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But you also call it double kamita. Of course.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Double roti is what we call. Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Also this, the culture of like mita or miti is not a, it's dessert here, but dessert there is incredible.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I love those. Those are my favorite.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Those are my favorite. It's, we've hit an hour, but so you know, today is my birthday.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Oh, happy birthday.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Thank you, man. I turned 40.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Happy birthday. You just turned 40.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I turned 40 today. Do you have any advice for me? Do you have advice for me?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'm 47. 40 wasn't hard for me. 45 was hard for me.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Why 45? Why was 45 tough?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Well, because when I turned 40, I was like, okay, double, that is 80. People live to their 80s. You hit 45 double, that is 90. Most people don't get to 90. More than likely.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You just did the math equation.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I'm like, more than likely more than halfway through this whole thing. And that was scary. It's also when my cat Bagel got diagnosed with the heart thing that eventually led to the end. So suddenly those two things happened right at the same time. I turned 45 and I was like, oh, she's gonna die. Really rocked me. Really, really shook me. And then, but then I came out of it, I think having a lot more clarity of. Because I don't, I love living. I really love all this, you know, I really genuinely do. I love everything about it.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I love that about you too. Comics generally, we have a tinge of nihilism, which is funny.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

But I think you have a zest and zeal for life where you really do enjoy stuff.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I do.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Some of my favorite bits are just, just your, your fascination and love for things. Yeah. Like some of your all time bits are your horror movie bit.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Like it's, it's about the appreciation and love of something.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I, I, I decided when I first was doing Stand up that I wanted to be defined by what I loved and not what I didn't like. Because I do feel much more passionate about the things I love than the things I don't like. See, I didn't even say the word hate, but I do, I, I feel very like I'm a generally an optimistic person. I do have, have, you know, it's good being with someone like Emily, who also has that. She just has like a joy for everything.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah. And what is possible and what is possible.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah. And she really, like, looks. You know, she finds the good in everything, in all people and everything. So. So it's good to have that.

[Hasan Minhaj]

She's an amazing poppy. Can I just say that?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, she really.

[Hasan Minhaj]

She's an amazing. Bobby means like sister in law. Yeah, but everybody is.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But again, when you say hobby, the relationship that comes to mind is different than the relationship when I think sister. Sister in law.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Really?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Bobby, to me feel. I mean, it is obviously sister in law, but Bobby feels much more family to me than the phrase sister in law.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Of course.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Because there's like, Bobby, you know, it's like, no one says sister in law.

[Hasan Minhaj]

My buddy Prashanth is dating someone, and he's like, my homie. And I call his girlfriend Bobby.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You're Bobby.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

And so when they're like, what do you think of her? I'm like, bro, she's Bobby.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Exactly.

[Hasan Minhaj]

What do I think of her? She's in.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It doesn't matter.

[Hasan Minhaj]

She's in. What are you talking about? She's Bobby.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But I came out of that period of 45 having, like, understanding what I want my life to be and what my life is. And so that's been. That's been good.

[Hasan Minhaj]

In a good way.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, in a good way. In a good way. I got more clarity on work, the kinds of stuff I want to do, the kinds of stuff I don't want to do, what I want to spend my time doing when I'm doing work, but also realizing my purpose. The purpose of my life is to be with Emily. It's not to work or make things that I can be proud of. Although that's all stuff I enjoy. It's not acting or doing standup or anything. My purpose is to be with Emily, get to know her as much as I can, allow her to know me as much as I can, and that is the purpose of my life.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Are you guys gonna bring back indoor kids?

[Kumail Nanjiani]

I mean, I really want to.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You two together. You guys are great.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah, I want to. I really want to. Actually, it's funny you said that, because when I recorded my special in the front row, there's a gu wearing an indoor kids T shirt. And three days ago, he was at my Broadway play. He was like, I was wearing an indoor kids shirt. I was like, well, you're in the special. You're gonna see yourself in there. Yeah. So I came out of that, being that. And now, you know, there's, like, little things. Like, I had. We got our cat in our 20s. She was for seven, 17 years and now she's gone. And if I get another cat, hopefully by the time she's gone, I'll be like, like in my 60s. Whoa. So I think about, can I pitch.

[Hasan Minhaj]

You an alt on the cat name? Don't get.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yes.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Billy. Billy.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Billy. Billy is a good name. Yeah. And again with Emily.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Cuz you can also switch hit with it. Yeah. Like oh, Billy. And like oh, I get it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Emily would be Billy. I was like, it's Billy. It's like four L's.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Yeah.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It's not two L's. Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Just hold on it.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Yeah.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Billy. Yeah. That's our N. N. Yeah. Is being ripped fun? It seems so dope.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

It is fun. It's weird that people on the street say things about it all the time. Of course people who know me, but also people who don't know me will say things about it.

[Hasan Minhaj]

I mean it's the vasodilation, bro.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

But like when I'm here in New York right now, the doorman of, you know, we're just renting this apartment, he says stuff all the time looking yoked, jacked. Yeah. Give me your arm workout. He's always about the arm workout.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Sure.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

What I love about it is I'm an overthinker. I get anxious night thoughts and working out helps with all of that. It makes me feel healthy and it works out some of that energy and you know, you can't really think of, you can't be inside your head when you have a massive weight that you're holding over your head. You can't be like, oh, I hope that email was okay. Sure. You have to be in the moment. So it's good training for me to be in the moment working out. I just like I worked out before coming here and you know, I was, I was in London for a week doing something and I didn't work all week, work out all week and it was horrible. And now I worked out yesterday and today and it feels great. I feel different. The endorphins thing is real. I love the feeling.

[Hasan Minhaj]

Dude. This is a great combo.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

Dude. Thanks so much for having me.

[Hasan Minhaj]

This is a great birthday and love to potty birthday.

[Kumail Nanjiani]

How exciting.

[Hasan Minhaj]

If you haven't subscribed to Lemonada Premium yet, now's the perfect time because guess what? You can listen completely ad free. Plus you'll unlock exclusive bonus content like Halle Berry on how to be a good partner during menopause or Mehdi Hassan on the dumbing down of media clips you won't hear anywhere else. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or head to lemonadapremium.com to subscribe on any other app. That's lemonadapremium.com don't miss out.