Summary of HBR On Leadership Episode: "How to Get People to Listen to You"

Podcast Information:

• Title: HBR On Leadership
• Host/Author: Harvard Business Review
• Episode: How to Get People to Listen to You
• Release Date: October 9, 2024

Introduction In the episode titled "How to Get People to Listen to You," Amy Gallo, HBR’s contributing editor and workplace conflict expert, delves into the essential strategies for ensuring that your ideas and opinions are effectively heard in the workplace. Drawing from research and expert insights, Gallo provides actionable tips on improving communication—from word choice to body language—that can significantly impact your career success.

The Importance of Being Heard at Work Gallo emphasizes that being heard in a professional setting is not about speaking louder but about strategic communication. She states, “Being heard at work isn't about how loud you say something. It's about saying the right thing at the right time” (00:48). Effective communication affects how others perceive your competence, the recognition you receive for your work, and your ability to accomplish tasks.

Active Listening: The Foundation of Being Heard Before expecting others to listen, Gallo underscores the importance of active listening. She explains that demonstrating engaged listening by processing and understanding others' points creates a reciprocal environment where your own ideas are more likely to be considered. “Listening is a prerequisite to being heard,” she asserts (01:37).

Laying the Groundwork: Capturing Attention Gallo outlines several strategies to lay the groundwork for effective communication:

• Requesting Attention: In a distraction-filled environment, explicitly asking for someone’s full attention can make a difference. For example, saying, “I’d love your full attention if possible” acknowledges their current distractions while signaling the importance of your message (02:30).
• Writing Important Points: Placing key information in writing ensures that your audience can reference it while listening, enhancing their retention and understanding (03:05).
• Building Relationships: Establishing personal connections and earning credibility with colleagues increases the likelihood that they will listen to your ideas (03:30).

Choosing Your Words Carefully In emotionally charged situations, word choice becomes critical. Gallo provides several guidelines:

• Use “I” Statements: Starting sentences with “I” instead of “you” helps convey ownership of your perspective without sounding accusatory. For instance, “I was late in getting you the numbers for your report because I felt like you might question my methods” (05:07).
• Avoid Apologizing for Feelings: Phrases like “I feel so bad about saying this” shift focus away from the issue and place an undue burden on the listener to address your emotions (05:45).
• Use “And” Instead of “But”: The conjunction “but” can come across as combative, whereas “and” invites collaborative problem-solving. For example, “You mentioned that we need X and I’m concerned that we’ll draw resources away from Y” encourages a more open dialogue (06:15).
• Employ Hypotheticals: Introducing hypotheticals can stimulate imaginative discussions and reduce defensiveness. “I hear you’re concerned about A. I wonder if we could do that by starting with B. What would that look like?” (07:00).
• Repetition: Repeating key messages can reinforce ideas and help them resonate more deeply with the audience (07:45).

Managing Conversations and Emotional Control When conversations become heated or derail, Gallo advises maintaining composure:

• Pause and Reflect: Taking a moment to step back mentally allows you to assess the situation objectively. “Don’t panic. Pause and take a mental step back to see the situation objectively” (09:00).
• Address Observations: Pointing out behavioral patterns without assigning blame can shift the focus back to productive dialogue. “I notice when the sales numbers come up, you seem frustrated. If we put our heads together, I think we could come up with a way to move past this” (09:30).

Body Language: Enhancing Verbal Communication Nonverbal cues play a crucial role in how your message is received. Gallo highlights the importance of confident body language and introduces the acronym CENTER to remember key aspects:

• C – Core Posture: Standing tall versus slouching conveys confidence.
• E – Eye Contact: Maintaining eye contact shows engagement.
• N – Natural Gestures: Using hands and movements naturally avoids appearing overbearing.
• T – Tone, Tempo, Timing: Speaking clearly and calmly enhances message delivery.
• E – Expressions: Facial expressions should align with the message to prevent mixed signals.
• R – Regions and Territory: Appropriately using space in a room can affect perception (10:30).

Gallo advises being aware of both your own and your counterpart’s body language to ensure effective communication. “The key is to simply be aware of what messages you’re sending” (11:00).

Addressing Communication Biases and Inclusivity For managers, Gallo emphasizes the importance of recognizing and mitigating biases in communication styles. She questions whether meetings are structured to give both introverts and extroverts equal opportunities to contribute and whether some employees are favored based on perceived confidence rather than actual talent. Promoting an inclusive environment where all communication styles are valued is essential for ensuring that everyone feels heard (11:45).

Conclusion and Final Thoughts Gallo concludes by reiterating that being heard involves a combination of strategic word choice, active listening, confident body language, and fostering inclusive communication practices. She encourages listeners to apply these strategies to assert themselves effectively and enhance their professional relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• “Being heard at work isn't about how loud you say something. It's about saying the right thing at the right time.” – Amy Gallo (00:48)
• “Listening is a prerequisite to being heard.” – Amy Gallo (01:37)
• “Attention is the most important currency anyone can give you, so spend it wisely.” – Ben Parr (03:50)
• “Don’t be afraid to repeat a message if you want it to sink in.” – Amy Gallo (07:45)

Credits: This episode features insights from Amy Gallo, along with contributions from Holly Weeks and other HBR experts. The episode was produced by Amy Gallo, Scott Lapis, Pierre, Jessica Godall, Ann Sanny, and Hannah Bates, with editing by Ian Fox. Visual production was handled by Ellie Honaine, design by Alex Belser and Karen Player, and music by Coma Media.

Final Note: For more strategies on effective communication and leadership, listeners are encouraged to explore additional HBR resources, including articles, books, and other podcast episodes available at hbr.org.