2026 Update: Brandon

Summary

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Heavyweight – “2026 Update: Brandon” (June 4, 2026)

Host: Jonathan Goldstein
Produced by: Pushkin Industries

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Episode Overview

This episode revisits the story of Brandon, whose original episode centered on a simple-but-haunting question from high school: Why did the popular girl, Allie, invite him—the misfit—to prom? Four years after their first conversation, Jonathan Goldstein catches up with Brandon to see how his life, relationship, and sense of self have evolved since facing his past. The episode unfolds as a delicate exploration of memory, insecurity, gratitude, and change, with Jonathan’s signature blend of warmth, wit, and gentle nudging.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Brandon’s High School Flashback and Prom Mystery

• Brandon’s Background:
  • Bullying, social struggles, and being a “coda” (child of deaf adults) made him feel like an outsider (07:33–09:03).
  • “There were a number of things that made him one. First, I'm, like, still a big guy now, but I was. I was at my biggest in high school, heaviest.” (07:46, Brandon)
  • Attempts to fit in included shaving a Nike swoosh into his haircut—mocked as a hockey stick (08:00–08:18).
• Prom Question Arises:
  • Allie, a popular girl, suddenly invites Brandon to prom, leaving him confused and suspicious but ultimately agreeing (11:19–11:51).
  • “She just kind of outright said, take me to prom. Like, go to prom, take me. Let's go together… I guess I was skeptical. This was some kind of trick.” (11:19, Brandon)
• Mixed Emotions and Lasting Impact:
  • Brandon wrestles with imposter syndrome; believes he didn’t “fit in” with the prom crowd.
  • The event becomes a cherished memory—“on the shorter list of things that I feel went OK” (16:25, Brandon).
  • “It would be a line of like, beautiful high schoolers, you know, and like, me there just feels like if your eyes set on me for a little too long, that maybe you'd be able to see that I didn't fit in.” (12:45, Brandon)

2. Tracking Down Allie—A Reunion Fifteen Years Later

• Modern Detective Work:
  • Brandon uses Facebook to reconnect, revealing his long-time username “Oak Tree” (21:36–21:42).
  • Anxiety over carefully crafting the message, including how to clarify he’s happily married (22:27–23:41).
  • Allie accepts the friend request and agrees to talk (24:16).
• The Video Call:
  • Brandon is visibly nervous; both exchange life updates (“I have two daughters…” – 27:06, Allie).
• The Burning Question, Finally Answered:
  • Allie confirms—she really did want to go to prom with him: “I would have been totally comfortable going by myself… There just kinda like, I'm gonna ask Brandon.” (28:51, Allie)
  • She remembers him as someone who made her laugh and feel funny—a quality she valued (29:58).
  • Brandon expresses gratitude: “It felt really real that I finished high school as a person who went to prom… I got to have a fun time and forget the misfit feelings I was having.” (33:12, Brandon)
  • Allie’s reply: “That’s awesome. That’s so awesome to hear you say that.” (33:35)

3. Aftermath—Processing and Growth

• Processing Self-Esteem:
  • Brandon’s wife Megan compassionately responds to his old insecurities, especially about his weight. (35:13–36:00)
  • “It makes me feel very protective, for sure…what really disarms me is, like, thinking about that…young Brandon.” (35:17, Megan)
• Comic Relief: The Tailor’s Office:
  • Brandon’s mortifying experience getting his “let-out” suit tailored—without underwear—brings playful comic relief (36:12–37:53).
• The Chaperone Prom—Then and Now:
  • Brandon returns to prom, now as Megan’s date and school chaperone. The contrast: with Megan, he knows exactly why she chose him.

4. Present-Day Brandon: Four Years Later

• Megan and Brandon’s Update:
  • Their family has grown—they now have a baby (40:38).
  • Megan reflects on embracing authenticity through “no pretending,” a principle she learned in meditation classes (41:48–42:58).
• Growth in Confidence:
  • “More now feeling like I'm actually here. I'm not just smoke, you know, I exist here, and I'm moving around, and I can do and say what I want…” (42:58, Brandon)
• Looking Forward:
  • Brandon and Megan look ahead to their 20-year reunion, recognizing that real change means feeling worthy of being chosen—and choosing themselves.

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On the Emotional Weight of Prom:
  • “A lot of people believe in this project.” – Brandon (03:00)
  • “It felt like a huge responsibility...I was really, really nervous.” – Brandon (13:09)
• On Self-Perception:
  • “Maybe she just had a breakup. Maybe I was a charity case.” – Brandon (15:57)
  • “It didn't have to be a mystery...It makes perfect sense to me that somebody who looks like Allie could like the person who she's standing next to.” – Megan (38:05)
• Allie’s Perspective:
  • “You made me laugh a lot. And I remember that you were just, you know, fun to be around and goofy. And you smiled at me a lot…You got me a corsage. I remember that.” (29:58, Allie)
• On Acceptance and Growth:
  • “The real me was still there. It was still coming out.” – Brandon (44:57)

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Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------------| | 06:08 | Brandon and Megan chaperoning prom; Brandon reflects on high school| | 09:03 | Bullying, misfit feelings, and trying to fit in | | 11:19 | Allie invites Brandon to prom—his skepticism | | 21:36 | Brandon’s Facebook username “Oak Tree” | | 24:16 | Allie responds, agrees to talk | | 26:50 | Video call: Brandon and Allie reconnect | | 28:51 | Allie explains why she asked Brandon to prom | | 33:12 | Brandon’s gratitude for the experience | | 35:13 | Megan reflects on Brandon’s childhood insecurities | | 36:12 | Brandon’s mortifying tailor story | | 40:38 | Update: Megan and Brandon have a baby | | 41:48 | Megan and Brandon discuss meditation, confidence, and “no pretending”| | 44:27 | Brandon’s realization: he was still himself, even as a misfit |

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Tone and Style

True to Heavyweight’s trademark, the episode is thoughtful, often funny, and emotionally gentle—using Jonathan’s dry humor and compassionate questioning to coax out honest self-reflection from the guests. The rapport among Brandon, Megan, and Jonathan is playful and self-aware, and Allie’s presence is gracious and warm.

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Final Reflection

This episode isn’t just about finding out why Allie chose Brandon for prom, but about the deeper journey of seeing oneself through less critical eyes. Brandon’s story is ultimately about being chosen, learning to believe that you are worthy, and discovering that “the real me was still there”—despite the insecurities and judgments of youth.

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“It was a good lesson to learn that despite what I was going through as a teenager, that I was still me. ... The real me was still there. It was still coming out.”
—Brandon (44:57)

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Transcript

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Foreign.

[Podcast Advertiser]

Hello.

[Stevie Lane]

Hello.

[Producer]

Welcome to the studio.

[Stevie Lane]

Are you going to tell people who I am?

[Producer]

Before that even?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

I was going to apologize for the

[Producer]

smell of egg salad.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

I don't know why it smells like egg salad in here.

[Producer]

It's not like I was eating an egg salad sandwich or anything.

[Stevie Lane]

But what's those little pieces of yolk that are stuck all over your beard?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Nothing.

[Producer]

That's total circumstantial evidence. You can't hang someone for circumstantial evidence. I did see Malcolm Gladwell exiting the

[Jonathan Goldstein]

studio, strutting around with an egg salad

[Producer]

sandwich poking out of his fanny pack

[Jonathan Goldstein]

like he owned the joint.

[Producer]

So there's some circumstantial evidence you might

[Jonathan Goldstein]

want to investigate, you intrepid reporter, you. So, hello.

[Producer]

Stevie Lane, producer.

[Stevie Lane]

Yes. Of the episode that we're about to listen to.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Brandon.

[Stevie Lane]

Yeah, Brandon, I will say. And he doesn't even know this. He's not even gonna know this till he listens to this.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Stevie Lane]

One of my all time favorite guests, I think.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Really?

[Stevie Lane]

Yeah. I don't know. He just had such a nice attitude, and I feel like the two of you had a really lovely rapport.

[Producer]

Yeah. And it was like an example of how sometimes a small question can have, like, a lot of emotional impact and

[Jonathan Goldstein]

can just really echo through the years.

[Producer]

And, you know, with these updates, a lot of times I start off by

[Jonathan Goldstein]

saying that the subject of the episode has gone through a lot of changes.

[Producer]

But in the case with Brandon, I will say that. Jeff, change seems like too slight a word. I would say that Brandon has gone through some transformations.

[Brandon]

Hmm.

[Producer]

So here's Brandon.

[Stevie Lane]

Yeah, it's a fun one.

[Producer]

It is a fun one. And after the episode, if you stick around, I'm going to catch up with Brandon and we're going to see who Brandon has become since we last spoke.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Jackie.

[Brandon]

Hey, Johnny.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

I have some good news. Well, it seems like there's some interest in turning the Heavyweight podcast into a TV show. So I was just calling to see who maybe, you know, who you want to play. Jackie, I was thinking, you know, maybe Rita Marino, Jon Dawn.

[Brandon]

Jon.

[Allie]

No one's gonna watch your show, baby.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

What'd you just say?

[Allie]

You heard me.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Wait, I'm confused on two counts. A, that you would say something so cruel.

[Allie]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And that B, you would punctuate it with Babe. You know, a lot of people believe in this project. Why would you laugh at that?

[Brandon]

A lot of people believe in this project.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

From gimlet media. Hi, I'm jonathan goldstein, and this is heavyweight. Today's episode brandon, Right after the break. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Jacob.

[Jacob Goldstein]

Hey, it's Jacob Goldstein from Business History. In our new series American Genius, we tell the stories of three great writers who changed the way business works in America. Our first episode is about Benjamin Franklin, who, among many other things, was a best selling business writer. Take a listen. He's writing this much later in his life, consciously creating this image of himself. And I do want to emphasize how unusual this model is at the time, this self made man myth, because you don't want to be self made. It's low class to be self made. You know, this idea that we have today is the opposite, right? And it comes from Franklin. Today there is the derisive term Nepo baiting.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Well, exactly right.

[Jacob Goldstein]

And these days, if you are a billionaire, you had better have a Benjamin

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Franklin story about starting in a garage,

[Jacob Goldstein]

coming up with the idea from nothing. And here is Benjamin Franklin inventing it right before our eyes. This has been brought to you by Odoo. To listen to more of our American Genius series, listen to business history. New episodes release every Wednesday on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Producer]

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[Brandon]

Yeah, we'll just roll in there and

[Megan]

see what's going on.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

This is Brandon. He's 33 years old and wearing a suit and string tie. His wife Megan is in a sundress, and together they're about to enter the new Palestine High School prom.

[Megan (alternate speaker)]

We'll mosey on up there then.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Megan is the school's art teacher, but tonight she's chaperoning with Brandon as her date. She introduces him to the other teachers.

[Megan (alternate speaker)]

This is my husband, Brandon.

[Brandon]

Hi, everybody.

[Megan (alternate speaker)]

Hi.

[Brandon]

It's a pleasure.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

At a certain point, they're interrupted by the announcement of prom king and queen. Hey, hey, NK students. We're going to announce the prom king queen. While Megan congratulates her students and makes small talk with her colleagues, Brandon wanders off and observes the kids. Some are dancing. Some are lined up for the photo booth. There are kids talking to teachers and others gossiping among themselves. But then Brandon's gaze lands on another subset. Those aimless kids wandering along the margins alone. They remind Brandon of himself when he was a teenager in his own prom. Brandon thinks about his prom a lot and the improbable path that led him to it, which began when he was

[Brandon]

just a little kid through middle school and junior high. I had a lot of bullying problems. I was kind of an easy target.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

There were a number of things that made him one.

[Brandon]

First, I'm, like, still a big guy now, but I was. I was at my biggest in high school, heaviest.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Second, Brandon tried too hard to fit in. Like the time he shaved a Nike swoosh into the back of his head.

[Brandon]

I just thought, like, sports. That's. That's cool.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

So it made your head look like a running shoe?

[Brandon]

Exactly. Yeah. I sat in front of this kid named Cyril and he said it looked like a hockey stick. And that was enough, that everyone was like, that's a hockey stick. That is not a Nike swoosh.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Finally, Brandon was a coda. A child of deaf adults, his family attended a deaf church and spent a lot of time in the deaf community. He says he was brought up with different social norms, like volume.

[Brandon]

Like, volume is not a concern around deaf people in a deaf environment. And then, of course, it is around hearing people.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

So what does that mean? Like, any examples?

[Brandon]

Yeah, like school, where it's, like, time to be quiet. I was just constantly talking to myself or just vocalizing my thoughts, you know?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Then in middle school, Brandon's parents divorced. There was less space for him, less attention paid to him. He drew inward.

[Brandon]

I think I wanted to put off a harder, like, you can't hurt me exterior than I really had on the inside. So wearing Hot Topic clothes, spiky things, black clothes, and trying to just, like, keep your hoodie on and get through the day.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And for the most part, Brandon succeeded in going unnoticed until the spring of his senior year. Brandon was sitting at the back of A classroom during a free period, eavesdropping on a conversation from across the room. Some classmates were talking about prom. And among the group was a girl named Allie. She was going on about what a great night it was going to be, how excited she was.

[Brandon]

She had, like, long blonde hair with highlights, big features, like, big eyes. She had a big smile. Yeah, like, when she smiled, she looked really happy. And I think she kind of pulled me into the conversation by directing some of those questions at me, like, are you going to promise? Who are you going to prom with?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Brandon had no intention of going. He hadn't a girlfriend, nor any prospects for a date. And he was confused about why Allie was talking to him. Brandon says they'd barely ever spoken. They were from totally different social worlds. Allie was in student government. She was popular and beautiful.

[Brandon]

She was just really well put together. Clean.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And you?

[Brandon]

Hmm, no, that's not a word I'd use to describe myself in high school. I mean, like, I would, like, smell my clothes before I. Before I put them on in the morning. You know what I mean? Like, I got dressed from the floor.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Okay.

[Brandon]

My bedroom. Know what I mean?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah. And yet Allie kept throwing questions at him. Why wasn't he going? If he did go, who would he take? Brandon answered in monosyllables, hoping she'd turn back to her friends and leave him alone. But instead, she rose from her seat and began striding towards him.

[Brandon]

Inside, I was like. Like inflamed. Do you know what I mean? Like, my heart. My heart rate was rising.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

With each question, Allie moved closer and closer until she was sitting at the desk in front of him, facing him. Then she did something that still flummoxes Brandon 15 years later.

[Brandon]

She just kind of outright said, take me to prom. Like, go to prom, take me. Let's go together. I immediately had questions. Questions like, why? Why me? What's going on? I guess I was skeptical. This was some kind of trick, you know? Why would you be asking me this other than to set me up for a punchline or something like that? But no punchline really came, so I just agreed.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

On the big night, Brandon met up with Ally and her friends for a pre dance dinner at her friend Jen's house. He was in the fancier part of town. Brandon showed up wearing his rented suit with a corsage and a bright blue necktie that matched Allie's dress. Before leaving to the dance, everyone lined up for a group picture. Did you, like, just feel like saying, why the heck am I here? Like, what happened? Was this a Mistake?

[Brandon]

Yeah. Yeah. I would have loved an answer to that question, but I would never have thought, couldn't fathom saying it, you know?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Do you still have that prom photo that you guys took?

[Brandon]

No. To be honest, I'm not even sure I ever got it, so I don't think I ever even saw that picture.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Hmm. What do you think you would see in that photo?

[Brandon]

I don't know. I mean, just imagining it makes me laugh.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah, why?

[Brandon]

It would be a line of like, beautiful high schoolers, you know, and like, me there just feels like if your eyes set on me for a little too long, that maybe you'd be able to see that I didn't fit in.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Alliander friends looked like the girls in those movies about prom. And those girls always had guys who gave them the time of their lives. For Brandon, a sense of duty kicked in.

[Brandon]

It felt like a huge responsibility. It was like, this is going to be a big deal in Ally's life forever and I have a big responsibility as her date to make sure that I live up to this position. I was really, really nervous.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Did you guys, did you and Allie slow dance?

[Brandon]

I'm pretty sure.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

I'm starting to feel like, I feel like when I ask these questions, I feel like Hannibal Lecter.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Like I'm asking you these questions from a straight jacket in a cell. Did you slow dance? Did you slow dance?

[Brandon]

I do remember slow dancing because I remember thinking, like, it's funny that in TV shows and in movies this is such a big deal, but it's just standing like you're kind of just like stepping slightly. Yeah, like that's not hard. Like I was in like a hip hop dance crew and youth group, you know, that was hard.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Wait, you were in a. Sorry, repeat that you were in a hip hop dance youth group? What?

[Brandon]

Yeah, so the church I went to was just like there were a lot of performances and hip hop dance that happened.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Did you ever at any point break out any of your Christian youth group hip hop moves on the dance floor? Do you do anything like on the floor? Like where you spin on your back or you didn't, you didn't want to ruin the rental, you wanted to get your deposit?

[Brandon]

Uh huh huh.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

At the Promise, Brandon popped for the Lord and locked for the Lord. He made Allie's friends laugh. And it was right there on the dance floor. The place one might expect a high school boy to feel the most self conscious that Brandon felt most at ease. He was a part of the group of a group.

[Brandon]

It kind of felt like A resolution of what all of grade school was like for me. You know, I never felt safe enough to bring my true self into that space. But like, dancing around at prom with your peers is like one of the most vulnerable things you can do. And it came out on the other end of it. Okay,

[Jonathan Goldstein]

At the end of the prom, Ally and all her friends headed to one of their classmates houses for the after party. But having never been to a house party, Brandon decided not to go. Do you remember saying goodbye to Ally?

[Brandon]

No.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And then what happened after that? Do you recall speaking with her? Seeing her in school after that night?

[Brandon]

I had to have because we both went back to school. But I don't have any specific memories of talking to her again.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Prom is supposed to stay with you for the rest of your life. And for Brandon, it has. But eclipsing the dancing, the music, the last night out with his peers is a lingering question which was like, why me?

[Brandon]

Out of all the people that you could be going with? Maybe it was one of those situations where all of these people out there are thinking, well, Allie's taken. She's totally going to prom with somebody already. I'll have to ask somebody else, you know, and then leaves her without a prom date. If that was what was going on, maybe. Maybe she just had a breakup. Maybe I was of a charity case.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

So you want, you want to ask her why? Why did she pick you?

[Brandon]

Yeah, exactly. I want to know that. Yeah, without her, I wouldn't have gone to prom. It would have just been another thing on my list of things I regret from high school, you know? But it's not on that list. It's on the shorter list of things that I feel went. Okay. Yeah, I'd like to thank her. I'm just nervous.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Which is why Brandon has reached out to me. If you get nervous, I mean, I can always jump in.

[Megan]

Sure.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

I've just assumed I'm gonna be coming along to chaperone. After the break, I chaperone Brandon back to high.

[Poet or Narrator]

School.

[Producer]

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[Allie]

I love summer, but I do think there is a real FOMO of like, am I doing the best possible thing?

[Producer]

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[Jonathan Goldstein]

to open up the window, put on a bathing suit while I'm working, even if I'm not going to the pool.

[Allie]

You know, sit around your house just

[Jonathan Goldstein]

for fun, you know.

[Producer]

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[Allie]

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[Producer]

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[Megan (alternate speaker)]

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[Jonathan Goldstein]

Before Brandon can ask Ally the question that's been on his mind since senior year, we first need to track her down. Her last name is Schmotes Schmutz. I'm just making that up Brandon's part of a Facebook group for his high school graduating class, and Allie's a member of the group as well. Does that mean that you can have a better chance of messaging her through that group?

[Brandon]

I mean, like, if I were going to use the group, it would be making a post for my whole graduating class to say.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Might as well go big. Like, say, hey, I'm just gonna put this out there to everybody.

[Brandon]

Yeah, if you're not Ali, please don't read this.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

But, Allie, I just want to say. Hey, hit me up. Here are my digits. Everybody else just lose this number. Maybe Facebook friend her?

[Brandon]

I could do that, yeah. I'd have to change my name on Facebook. My name hasn't been my real name for a long time.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

What's the name that you operate under?

[Brandon]

Oak Tree.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Just Oak Tree.

[Brandon]

Just Oak Tree.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

I can't even find you as brand. I'd have to look up Oak Tree.

[Brandon]

That's right. I was kind of playing with what kinds of words it lets me have as a name.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Can you change your name from Oak Tree to Brandon?

[Brandon]

Probably a good idea.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Then you don't have to start with a whole rigmarole about how, like, my name's not really Oak Tree. This is Brandon, by the way. You remember, from high school? And so the mighty Oak Tree sheds his leaves and his name, and the mighty Brandon sends Ally a friend request. A week later, Brandon texts with an update. Allie has accepted his friendship. Now he just needs to send her a message. Okay, so you've crafted something already?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Would you. Could you read it?

[Brandon]

Sure. Yeah. Hi, Allie.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Good so far. Casual. Okay, cool, go ahead.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Hi, Ali. Maybe you'll remember me. We were prom dates our senior year.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

As Brandon reads me his draft, I focus my keen podcast producer's ear.

[Brandon]

By my recollection, it was your idea

[Megan]

for us to go to prom together.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Now, let me. Sorry, let me hit pause there. Yeah, like the way that you're underlining your idea. You're not actually underlining that, though. I did Italicize was your idea for us to go to prom together. Is that what you're saying?

[Brandon]

Yeah. It sounds accusatory out loud. Yeah.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

So, yeah, maybe we'll de. Italicize that part. Okay, keep going. Brandon tells Ally that he still thinks about their prom. He says he wants to talk to her about it.

[Producer]

Would she be up for that?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Okay. Okay, let's take a look at this here. Okay. So maybe you'll remember. As Brandon and I pore over the message, a worry suddenly pops into my head. I Wonder if there's a way to work in the fact that you're married.

[Brandon]

You know, how about just, I'm married, but I'll just start with it. Hey, listen, I'm taken.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Speaking as a married man. Me and my wife were wondering. That is, my wife and I, we were wondering the other night after making love.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Seem to be doing good work, and I hope you're, well, all the best.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Once we've crafted the perfect message, Brandon readies himself to hit send.

[Megan]

Should I go ahead and do it?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah, let's do it. Go ahead. Hit send.

[Megan]

Enter hit sent.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Congratulations.

[Megan]

Thank you.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

A week later, Allie writes back. She's willing to talk, so that's good.

[Brandon]

It's a positive response. I

[Jonathan Goldstein]

look at you. You're. You're. You're giddy. You're giddy with expectation.

[Allie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Can you tell? Because I keep wiping my face and touching my eyes.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Would it be fun to do it on a video call?

[Megan]

Sure. Sure.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Do you still have the suit that you wore to your prom?

[Brandon]

Yeah. I'll be like, I never took it off.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Any things that you want me to bring up? Just kind of like conversationally awards or any upcoming projects that you want to promote or.

[Brandon]

No, keep it organic. Whatever.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Cool, cool. I can keep it organic.

[Brandon]

Cool.

[Producer]

What's the one thing you've never told anyone? People just like you tell all in a podcast called the Secret Room. If you're a true story fan who can't get enough of people's most intimate dreams, desires, and regrets, check out the podcast the Secret Room. Stories can be tragic, like witnessing the murder of a lover. Or hilarious, like hearing the nocturnal adventures of a sleepwalker or. Or heartwarming, like the woman who found a whole new family in a most unexpected place with a DNA kit. Here, Mila's deathbed confession that her daughter's absent father is a movie star. Or about Jen's secret love affair with a man on death row. Or how Joey falls in erotic love with inanimate objects. The podcast has been lauded by People, the BBC, Buzzfeed, Elle magazine, and Apple. People all around you carry the most amazing secrets. And you're invited to the Secret Room for a front row seat to stories that may jar and amaze you. Find the Secret Room, a podcast about the stories no one ever tells anywhere. You get your podcasts.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Hello.

[Brandon]

Hello.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

I'm getting a little bit of static on your end.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Hello? Better?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah. On the day of the video call with Allie, Brandon and I get on early and wait.

[Brandon]

It feels like I'm Getting back into the psyche of my high school self. Like I'm. Hi. Hi, Ali.

[Allie]

Hi.

[Brandon]

How are you?

[Allie]

Good.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Allie smiles a big smile full of big white teeth. She's wearing a blue patterned blouse that matches the blue of her nails.

[Brandon]

I'll just tell you what I've seen on your profile. You live in Carmel and you have a baby.

[Allie]

I have two daughters, a three year old and a two year old.

[Brandon]

Awesome.

[Allie]

They're right here on my wall.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Brandon and Allie, catch up.

[Allie]

The Midwest is just such a nice place to raise a family. It's recruiting, but there's like a sales element. And then of course, the grandparents are here.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I figured that was part of it. Being close to family. It's a huge resource.

[Allie]

They're always willing to help out.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Brandon's question hasn't gotten any easier to ask since high school. In fact, it's gotten harder. After a pause of a few minutes or even a few days, one can feign casualness. By the way, why'd you choose me? But to ask after 15 years, there's no way to by the way, your way through it. But eventually.

[Brandon]

So can I ask you some questions?

[Allie]

Absolutely, I guess.

[Brandon]

First, like, what are your memories of me in high school?

[Allie]

Yeah. So I was trying to think of this. Did we ever have any classes together?

[Brandon]

Probably not.

[Allie]

Yeah, so we met senior year, right?

[Brandon]

I think so.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Allie doesn't remember much, but one thing she does remember is that day in the back of the classroom.

[Allie]

We were talking about prom, you know, as seniors do. And I think you had. You were like not into going to prom, right? You're like, no, I'm not going to go.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I remember, like you had to really spell it out. You were like, are you going to prom? You're not. Okay. Like if you were, would you be going with someone?

[Megan]

No.

[Brandon]

Okay. And then eventually you were like, you and me can go to prom. Like, why don't we go to prom?

[Allie]

You know, that's funny.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And then Brandon asks his question, sort of.

[Brandon]

Like, at any point, did you consider having. Having someone else as a date?

[Allie]

Well, I would have been totally comfortable going by myself. So I don't have any memories of thinking like, I'm gonna ask Brandon. And then if that doesn't work, I'm gonna ask. So and so they're just kinda like, I'm gonna ask Brandon.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Hmm.

[Brandon]

That is surprising. I guess because I thought like that it was like spur of the moment. Like your friends were hearing this for the first time too.

[Allie]

No, no, I was very obsessed with my friends. So I'm sure that I ran it by them. So you passed the friend test.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Brandon grows quiet. It wasn't a prank. It wasn't pity. Allie planned to ask him. What's more, she wasn't going to take no for an answer.

[Allie]

I do remember, like, you did say no. I remember you saying no. And I'm like, oh, yeah, but give him a day. I'm gonna make him go, he's gonna go with me. But yeah, you were just surprised by the fact that I asked you.

[Brandon]

I mean, yeah, definitely.

[Allie]

Hmm.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Allie pauses, trying to find the right words.

[Allie]

You made me laugh a lot. And I remember that you were just, you know, fun to be around and goofy. And you smiled at me a lot. I remember that. You know, like, I liked being around you, and if I made a joke, you would laugh at it. You know, he made me feel like I was funny, which is a great quality. You got me a corsage. I remember that. I remember not expecting you to get me a corsage and thinking, that was really nice. I do remember that. Isn't that silly? That, like, I don't remember a lot, but I remember that.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

So, you know, I'm gonna be a little blunt here, because. Sure. Was there anything else to it? Like, was there an element of something romantic?

[Allie]

So we probably flirted, right. But I don't know. I mean, friendship is really just the main. The main feeling that I can recall. I'm not saying that there wasn't. You know, I mean, I don't know, you're a teenager, you're feeling all kinds of things. I'm sure there were moments where I was like, oh, is this a thing? You know, is this turning into this?

[Brandon]

Yeah, that. I think that I would have found that really hard to believe as a kid, you know, that would have gone against the narrative of school and what people thought of me that I had.

[Allie]

I don't know, I guess to some extent I knew that we were. I want to be honest, I knew that there. That some people were surprised by the fact that we were going together. Right. I do remember one time when I told some dude in my physics class, I can't remember that I was going with Brandon. And they're like, wait, what? And I was like, yeah. And they're like, that's weird. And I'm like, you're weird.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

While Brandon remembers himself as a misfit, Allie remembers someone who was different than a lot of the other guys in high school. Brandon made wry jokes. He was sweet and self deprecating. She remembers Things that Brandon doesn't, she says. There was one time Brandon did a whole monologue about how he found it hard to drive because of his fear of hitting birds. In other words, Allie asked him to prom for the one reason Brandon never considered. She just wanted to go with him.

[Brandon]

Did you have a good time, eprom? Because I really wanted that for you. I spent a lot of time thinking, like, that's my role.

[Megan]

I'm the date.

[Brandon]

Here I go. You know?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah. Allie grows thoughtful.

[Allie]

I guess I didn't even think that because I. I mean, I talked you into it, right? So then here you are, kind of not stuck, but, like.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Allie]

Feeling like you wanted to make it special for me because I was the one that was all about it. Yeah, I guess I never even thought about that. I just think, Brandon, you're just so much more thoughtful, you know, just thoughtful about the whole experience. And I do want to thank you because that's so nice that you were thinking it was your duty to try to make sure I had the prom I wanted to have. Yeah.

[Brandon]

I honestly didn't even expect to be thanked from you for anything. I feel like I have to thank you because there's something really simple and superficial about this, but it felt really real that I finished high school as a person who went to prom. I got to go. I got to have a fun time and forget the misfit feelings I was having.

[Allie]

That's awesome. That's so awesome to hear you say that. That's really nice.

[Brandon]

My life started to really just, like, blossom and grow, like, from, like, the moment high school was over. And I guess. I guess I can't say for certain what that part of my life would have looked like had I not had the prom experience. But I can't say it was totally irrelevant.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Was it out of that and kind of, like, into that period that you ended up meeting your wife, Megan?

[Brandon]

Yeah, it was like that phase of life when Meg and I met.

[Megan (alternate speaker)]

Her dress is so cute. She looks beautiful.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

This is Megan, Brandon's wife, looking at a photo of Ally from prom night.

[Megan (alternate speaker)]

She looks amazing. She looks great.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

After getting off the video call, Ally sent the group photo from promotion. Megan studies it while seated beside Brandon.

[Megan (alternate speaker)]

It's also, like, so cute to see you flanked by these, like. I mean, I'm sorry, they're in high school, so I don't really feel like I should be calling them hot babes, but you know what I mean, like, from the high school perspective. You lucky, lucky man.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

But as Brandon looks at the photo, I imagine it isn't his date or the other kids that he's focused on so much as he's focused on the big guy in the middle and all the baggage that guy was carrying.

[Brandon]

There's a lot of weird stuff about, like, my weight and growing up, like, dieting and, like, my mom, like, putting me on a scale. And it was like, you're over this line. You know, you're unattractive.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

And what does it make you to feel like Megan to hear that?

[Megan (alternate speaker)]

It makes me feel very protective, for sure. I think if we don't, we rarely really get into squabbles, but if ever we do, what really disarms me is, like, thinking about that, like, little, like, young Brandon. I feel like that happened not even that long ago. Do you remember we were, like, standing at the kitchen and I started crying, and I was just, like. I had been so resentful and mad at you for a minute, and then I just, like, was imagining you being like, a little kid and having other, like, adults in his life not really tend to, like, the difficulties of that as well as they should have. I think about him just having to, like, navigate those insecurities alone.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

But Brandon no longer has to navigate them alone. A few weeks ago, before chaperoning the prom with Megan, Brandon went to the tailor. He wanted to wear his wedding suit and needed her to let it out.

[Brandon]

She was, like, down on her knees, like, looking at it, pulling the pants in different ways, and then said, okay, go ahead and open the pants up so I can see how much we can let out. And I don't know why, but I wasn't wearing underwear. I didn't wear underwear to the tailor. I guess I didn't think that she was going to Brandon be asking that. So, yeah, she asked me to open the pants, and I was like, right now? And she was like, yep, go ahead. And I just said, I can't do that right now, if you know what I mean.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Wow.

[Brandon]

I know, I know. And I don't think. I'm honestly not sure if she knew what I meant, but she dropped it and said, okay, I think we'll just let it out all the way, and that'll probably be enough. It was awful. It was awful.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Brandon was spiraling. So as soon as he left, he sent Megan a text at school asking her to call him.

[Brandon]

And when she called me, I was fixing a flat. I got a flat tire on the way home. It was just, like, a shitty afternoon. So I was fixing a flat and telling her what it was like at the Tailor. And then we hung up. And then she texted me later and just said, like, I, I, I love you, and I love the way your body looks. And. And I, I don't think it's weird that you didn't wear underwear. I don't wear underwear either. It was just like a. You know what I mean? She was supportive. That fixed it almost immediately for me.

[Allie]

Hmm.

[Megan (alternate speaker)]

Well, I taught him to go commando, so I feel partially.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

What did you make of Brandon's question that he's. That he's had through the years? Why did Allie invite him to the prom in the first place?

[Megan (alternate speaker)]

It didn't have to be a mystery. It makes perfect sense to me that somebody who looks like Allie could like the person who she's standing next to.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

You. Brandon says the biggest difference between his two proms was that with Megan, he didn't spend the whole night wondering why the person by his side had chosen him. He's just happy she did.

[Brandon]

I was comfortable the whole time.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

How could you not be comfortable? I mean, you weren't wearing underpants.

[Brandon]

The ultimate.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Sam.

[Poet or Narrator]

Now that the furniture's returning to its Goodwill home, now that the last month's rent is scheming with the damaged deposit, take this moment to decide if we meant it, if we tried

[Jonathan Goldstein]

or felt

[Poet or Narrator]

around for far too much from things that accidentally touch.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Brandon. Hey.

[Producer]

Hello.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Hi.

[Megan]

I can't believe it's been over four years.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Last time I spoke to you, you were speaking to me from. What did you call it? Your man cave? Your.

[Megan]

I didn't remember telling you, but it was called the Chill zone.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

The Chill Zone. That's right.

[Brandon]

It's right there.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Wait, so you're not in the chill zone?

[Megan]

No, I'm in the office.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Okay. Because the chill zone is for chilling,

[Producer]

it's not for recording.

[Megan]

Well, it's changing its purpose now. It's for the bedtime routine with the new baby boy.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

You really buried the lead on that one. So you have a baby?

[Megan]

Yeah, we have a baby.

[Producer]

Wow.

[Megan]

Yeah, it's so exciting. She's growing and learning so fast. She's noticing things.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Does she like pulling on your mustache?

[Megan]

She hasn't found my mustache in that way yet, but she's really into containers, Just putting containers in containers, taking something out of a container, putting in a different one. And she can do that for, like, an hour. And I can just sit there and watch her and try not to help if she's trying to put something too big into small container, you know, just watching her.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Megan]

It's so exciting.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Wonderful. That's so. That's so nice to hear.

[Producer]

Well, that's.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

That's the headline. Are there. Have there been any other changes since we last spoke? Hmm.

[Megan]

I actually listened to the Brandon episode of Heavyweight yesterday just to have it be fresh in my mind.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah. And what was that like?

[Megan]

It's fun.

[Brandon]

I feel like when I was first

[Megan]

hearing it, I cringe and I cringed a lot less yesterday.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Well, why do you think that is?

[Megan]

Time, I think. I mean, I feel a lot different than I did four years ago.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

How? In what ways?

[Megan]

About a year before Robin was born, Meg and I started going to this meeting. It's like we'd get together with these people and do something called qigong, which is like, breathing and moving. It's kind of like tai chi, but kind of exercise y. And then there's a meditation portion, and there's this concept called no pretending. We would be like, are we pretending with ourselves in our minds? Do we pretend when we talk to other people? And I realized that I do pretend to other people.

[Brandon]

Thinking about how I want to come

[Megan]

across and drawing awareness to that helped me to do it less.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Were there certain things that you feel like that you were pretending at?

[Brandon]

I'm trying to think of a good

[Megan]

way to explain that, Dora. Oh. You know, one day I realized I was like, if I'm walking up to the door of a gas station, we're going into the gas station, and there's a stranger walking in at the same time. And it seems like we might arrive at more or less the same time. I was fast to jump out of the way. You know, you first. You first. And I don't do that sort of thing as much.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

You feel less apologetic for just being around existing. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Megan]

Less about finding a place where I can fit to disturb other people as little as possible, and more now feeling like I'm actually here. I'm not just smoke, you know, I exist here, and I'm moving around, and I can do and say what I want, and other people will react however they want react, and that doesn't mean I should have said or done something different.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

So I feel more confident, more, I

[Megan]

guess, just in tune with what I actually think and what I'm actually feeling. And I feel like a much different person than I did four years ago.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

In a good way.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Do you think the Brandon of today would have pursued that story?

[Megan]

Yeah, I do think so, yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Does the Brandon of today wear underwear?

[Megan]

I've got a couple pairs for special occasions.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Is this a special occasion?

[Brandon]

No, it's not.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

It isn't?

[Brandon]

No.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Okay.

[Megan]

No.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

You have a 20 year high school reunion coming up.

[Megan]

This is the year for my 20th reunion. Yeah.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

If it's happening, are you gonna go?

[Megan]

I would love to go.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Have you been in touch with Ally?

[Megan]

No, I have not. But I wondered if I might see her at this reunion. And, you know, I wanted to say before we go, when I was listening to the episode yesterday, I felt grateful. It brought me kind of an outside perspective on that period of my life which I wouldn't have had without that

[Brandon]

or, you know, and I don't think

[Megan]

I would have reached out to Ali on my own. And it was a good lesson to learn that despite what I was going through as a teenager, that I was still me. That's the big takeaway I had from listening to it. You know, when she said you were sweet and you smiled at me and you laughed at my jokes. That's a good quality. That's some of the things I remember her saying from when I listened. But I don't know how that hit me at the time. I can't remember. But listening to it now, I thought,

[Brandon]

that sounds like me.

[Megan]

The real me was still there. It was still coming out.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah.

[Megan]

So thank you.

[Producer]

Well, thank you.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Thank you for saying that and for lending yourself to it so wholeheartedly. Will you say hi to Meg for me?

[Megan]

I will.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Brandon, it was really nice to see you.

[Megan]

Thank you. Have a good day.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

You too. You too. Enjoy your baby.

[Megan]

I will. I will.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Thanks to everyone who originally put this episode together.

[Producer]

We'll be back with another update in two weeks time and if you want, you can sign up for our free newsletter. It's absolutely free and it's available at patreon.com/highweight. Stevie.

[Stevie Lane]

Yeah.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

What do we have in store in the newsletter?

[Stevie Lane]

We got some recommendations, things that we've liked, and there's hyperlinks.

[Producer]

Yes.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Parenthetically, I don't know that I've been hyperlinking properly in the newsletter.

[Producer]

Like you can actually like hyperlink from a word, right?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Yeah, but I put the full URL. I'm old school.

[Stevie Lane]

That's all right.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

It's only recently that I've started pronouncing it URL. I used to just pronounce it as URL.

[Producer]

Do you know what URL stands for?

[Jonathan Goldstein]

Ooh, you really love our newsletter. URL. Our newsletter.

[Stevie Lane]

And speaking of the URL for the newsletter is.

[Producer]

It'[e-mail] heavyweight

[TikTok Advertiser]

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[Producer]

What's the one thing you've never told anyone? People just like you tell all in a podcast called the Secret Room. If you're a true story fan who can't get enough of people's most intimate dreams, desires, and regrets, check out the podcast. The Secret Room stories can be tragic, like witnessing the murder of a lover, or hilarious, like hearing the nocturnal adventures of a sleepwalker. Or heartwarming, like the woman who found a whole new family in a most unexpected place with a DNA kit. Hear Mila's deathbed confession that her daughter's absent father is a movie star. Or about Jen's secret love affair with a man on death row. Or how Joey falls in erotic love with inanimate objects. The podcast has been lauded by People, the BBC, buzzfeed, Elle magazine, and Apple. People all around you carry the most amazing secrets, and you're invited to the Secret Room for a front row seat to stories that may jar and amaze you. Find the Secret Room, a podcast about the stories no one ever tells anywhere you get your podcasts.

[Jonathan Goldstein]

This is an iHeart podcast, Guaranteed Human.