“Help! I can’t take a compliment!”

Summary

---

Help Wanted — “Help! I can’t take a compliment!”

Podcast: Help Wanted (Money News Network)
Hosts: Jason Feifer, Nicole Lapin
Producer/Contributor: Morgan Lavoy
Date: November 25, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This episode delves into the surprisingly complex issue of receiving compliments at work. Hosts Jason Feifer and Nicole Lapin, joined by producer Morgan Lavoy, examine why compliments can feel uncomfortable or even stressful, how this dynamic plays out in their own professional lives, and what it says about workplace culture and personal achievement. They explore the difference between complimenting and congratulating, discuss the benefits of giving recognition, and reflect on ways to improve both giving and receiving compliments as leaders and colleagues.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Compliment Struggle: Personal Confessions

• Nicole’s Deflection Habit (04:28–08:44)

  • Nicole expresses difficulty in accepting praise, often downplaying her achievements or redirecting kudos to others.
  • Example: Morgan recounts a recent conversation where Nicole coded multiple websites, completed rebranding efforts, and produced course content, yet replied to Morgan’s compliment with “just normal stuff, plus lots of annoying taxes.”
  • Morgan’s Assessment: “Nicole is so bad at taking compliments—it's like you don't even catch the football.” (07:24)

• Jason’s Take (05:22–06:00)

  • Jason claims he’s better at accepting compliments now but admits this wasn’t always the case; he previously felt uncomfortable and minimized praise for his achievements.

Why Compliments Can Be Hard to Take

• Perpetual To-Do List Mentality (08:26–09:23)

  • Nicole reveals that she focuses on tasks ahead, not past accomplishments: “I’m taking stock of all the stuff that still needs to be done.” (08:44)
  • This mindset makes it hard to pause and recognize wins, leading to a diminished sense of achievement.

• Mistaking Praise for 'Mission Accomplished' (12:01–13:11)

  • Jason describes rejecting celebrations of his new role until he had proved himself in it, equating praise with “mission accomplished,” which he feels is never truly reached.
  • Quote: “The opportunity was not the accomplishment. Doing it well is the accomplishment.” (12:31)

Exploring the Compliment Bar

• Unrealistically High Standards (15:34–17:00)

  • Nicole and Jason discuss setting an internal 'compliment bar' so high that everyday achievements don’t seem praise-worthy.
  • Nicole admits, “The compliment bar, for me... when they're rare and they're really merited…”

• Congratulating vs. Complimenting (16:43–17:10)

  • The hosts distinguish between big achievements (worthy of congratulations) and the ongoing, smaller successes that merit compliments.

Stories from the Hosts

• Jason’s Mantra and Journey (17:20–20:45)

  • Jason shares his early-career mantra, “I’m not fucking around,” used to motivate himself amid endless grind and rejection.
  • He admits that, back then, few compliments resonated because he compared praise to unreachable standards (“What excellent should look like”).

• Compliments Feeling Detached

  • Jason notes that compliments often feel directed at his “character” rather than the real him:
    • “I often feel like they’re complimenting somebody else, like they’re complimenting the character named Jason Feifer that I play in the world.” (19:30–20:00)
  • Despite this, he acknowledges the importance of simply responding graciously.

Why It’s Important to Give and Receive Compliments

• Stopping the Awkwardness (21:13–22:47)

  • Nicole consciously tries to say “thank you” to stop the cycle of discomfort—both for herself and the compliment giver.
  • She reflects on feeling undeserving, especially when teamwork is involved (“Maybe the hair lady should get the compliment, not me.”).

• Morgan’s Perspective: Balance Matters (24:22–29:33)

  • Morgan stresses the value of recognizing effort, not just extraordinary accomplishment.
  • She shares a positive experience with “Secret Heroes,” a team meeting segment dedicated to unsung contributions.
  • Quote: “If you only feel accomplished when you win a Webby, but not when you do a week of really hard work, it’s going to be a slog.” (24:22)
  • Morgan frames compliments as equal in importance to constructive criticism: without recognition, feedback becomes demoralizing rather than motivating.

• Leadership Responsibility (26:04–27:35)

  • Jason acknowledges that leaders “rarely reach out to say, ‘great job,’” noting that a well-placed compliment carries the weight of “a pocket full of hundred-dollar bills”—too valuable not to share.

Cultivating a Culture of Recognition

• Practical Encouragement
  • The trio agrees workplaces benefit from more regular, sincere compliments, not just for morale but for motivation and mental health.
  • Nicole commits to being more mindful about both giving and receiving praise.
  • The show illustrates with real and somewhat clumsy attempts by Nicole to accept praise—eventually resulting in a grateful, if delayed, “thank you.” (31:03–31:43)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Nicole Lapin (on deflecting praise):
  “I’m taking stock of all the stuff that still needs to be done.” (08:44)

• Jason Feifer (on the meaning of accomplishment):
  “Getting the opportunity was not the accomplishment. Doing it well is the accomplishment.” (12:33)

• Morgan Lavoy (on everyday recognition):
  “If you only feel accomplished when you win a Webby, but not when you do a week of really hard work, it’s going to be a slog.” (24:22)

• Jason Feifer (on giving compliments):
  “If you are in a position to compliment somebody else, it’s like you’re walking around with a pocket full of hundred dollar bills… Go hand them out now.” (27:07)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Compliment chain and Nicole’s struggles – 04:28–08:44
• Why some people deflect compliments – 08:44–09:23
• Praise vs. ‘mission accomplished’ and setting a high bar – 12:01–13:11, 15:34–17:10
• Jason’s early-career mindset – 17:20–20:45
• Graciously handling compliments – 21:13–22:47
• Difference between team and individual praise – 22:47–24:17
• Compliments as essential as constructive criticism – 24:22–29:33
• Leadership, culture, and the “hundred-dollar bill” metaphor – 26:04–27:35
• Nicole’s delayed acceptance – 31:03–31:43

---

Tone and Takeaways

The conversation is candid, humorous, and, at moments, vulnerable—showcasing not just the mechanics of compliments, but their emotional undertones and workplace implications. The hosts encourage listeners to rethink how (and why) they give or receive recognition, and challenge themselves—and their listeners—to be more generous and gracious with praise, for the sake of themselves and their teams.

---

Transcript

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Let's talk about something every business owner needs. It's a well managed cash flow. Because when your cash flow is off, everything feels off. But when it's in sync, everything flows smoothly. That's where Intuit QuickBooks comes in. With QuickBooks Money Tools, your money and your books finally speak the same language, get paid faster, pay bills smoothly, and even secure funding all in one platform. No more juggling logins or chasing invoices. QuickBooks Money management tools gives you real time insight insights into your cash flow so you know what's coming in, what's going out, and when to act. It's like having a financial dashboard that updates with every payment and bill automatically. That means no manual matching, clearer insights, improved decision making and more time to grow your business to transform your cash flow and your business. Check out QuickBooks Money Management Tools today. Learn more at QuickBooks.com money Again, that's QuickBooks.com money Terms apply hi Money Movement services are provided by Intuit Payments, Inc. Licensed as a money Transmitter by the New York State Department of Financial Services. I've spent a lot of time talking to small business owners and here's what I've Success isn't just about a brilliant idea. It's about execution. And that means having the right tools to turn that idea into something real, something durable. A business and a brand that is thoughtfully structured from the ground up. That's what Northwest Registered Agent is all about. They give you everything you need to build and protect your business, from thousands of free guides and legal forms to practical tools that actually help you move forward. So if you're ready to build a business that lasts, start with Northwest. Northwest Registered Agent has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow businesses for nearly 30 years. They are the largest registered agent and LLC service in the US with over 1500 corporate guides who are real people who know your local laws and can help you and your business every step of the way. With Northwest, privacy is automatic. They never sell your data and all services are handled in house because privacy by default is their pledge to all customers. Want more? Sign up for a free account and get access to corporate guides. Real experts who answer your questions, no strings attached. Don't wait, protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit northwestregisteredagent.com helpwantedfree and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest registered [e-mail] help wanted free Since 1981, Justin has been.

[Nicole Lapin]

Producing world class Bordeaux style wines from Paso Robles on California's Central Coast. With a rich history of accolades, Justin produces exceptional wines and is proud to be America's number one luxury Cabernet. Whether you're a first time wine drinker or a wine aficionado, Justin has a wine for every celebration and occasion. Visit justinwine.com and enter Help20 for 20% off your order.

Get celebration ready with Justin Wine.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Enjoy exceptional wine all season long with Justin.

Whether it's for seasonal celebrations, festive dinner.

Parties, or gift exchanges, Justin Wine is sure to make your holidays memorable.

Justin offers curated gift sets, library wines, magnums, and even custom etched bottles.

Personalize the gifts with a custom message icon OR logo. Visit justinwine.com and enter HELP20 for 20% off your order. Justin offers the perfect holiday gifts for.

Clients, colleagues, friends, family.

Be sure to check them [e-mail] to receive 20% off your order for a limited time. This is Help Wanted, the show that makes your work work for you.

I'm Jason Pfeiffer, editor in chief of.

[Nicole Lapin]

Entrepreneur Magazine, and I'm money expert Nicole Lapin. On Tuesdays, Jason and I answer the.

[Morgan Lavoy]

Helpline and help callers solve their work problems.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

And on Thursdays, I give you one way to improve your work and build a career or company you love.

[Nicole Lapin]

And it starts now. Jason, I've just wanted to tell you that I really appreciate the way you do introduction emails. I think it's so thoughtful, so kind.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Thank you.

[Nicole Lapin]

The amount of time and effort you put into it, it's like a plus.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Oh, I appreciate it. What a nice compliment. I actually take great pride in my introduction emails, which is to say when I send an email introducing people and then I use it as an opportunity to compliment them both, which is not an idea I came up with. People just did it to me and it was really nice and then I wanted to pass it along, but I really appreciate your compliment.

[Nicole Lapin]

That was like so many compliments in one compliment.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

It was. Well, it was like it was informal.

[Nicole Lapin]

Complimenting other people and it's just like.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

It'S a compliment chain. Today we're talking about compliments, aren't we? And do you know why?

[Nicole Lapin]

Wait, I thought you were gonna not take the compliment.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

No, I take compliments just fine. You're the one who doesn't take compliments. Well, I say thank you. I like compliments. I didn't always actually. They made me uncomfortable in a way, but I got used to them. But wait, you are very bad at taking compliments, aren't you?

[Nicole Lapin]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Maybe.

Morgan. Producer Morgan, you are here.

[Morgan Lavoy]

Hello.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Is Nicole good or bad at taking compliments?

[Morgan Lavoy]

Nicole is so bad at taking compliments, and I wish that I could give her a compliment on it right now. So you can see. See. But it's kind of like Opposite Day. That wouldn't really work. But, Jason, this happened today.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Tell me what happened.

[Morgan Lavoy]

I'm just gonna read you a conversation that Nicole and I had today.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Okay, great. This is, like, on text.

[Morgan Lavoy]

This is on text. So we're talking about something, whatever. And I said, P.S. do you feel like a total badass after this monster week you've had? And she says, ha. What did I do? I'll tell you what she did.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Yeah, it was a monster week.

[Morgan Lavoy]

Nicole built three websites. Nicole coded three websites for us, did a complete rebrand for the Eminen partnerships page in our partnerships deck. She taped a whole course. She wrote and taped a whole course. She scripted and taped three solo video episodes of the podcast, which is very new for us. We've typically done audio only on Money Rehab. And so that is a monster. What did I do? I would. So I said, everything. You did everything. And she said, just normal stuff, plus lots of annoying taxes. Then I listed some of the things that we just talked about now. And she said, oh, it's nice to try to streamline things. You've done 400 similar things. And so she immediately just deflected and was like, but you do. You also do things very interesting.

[Nicole Lapin]

You do.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Yeah.

She wasn't the one being complimented right now.

[Morgan Lavoy]

You were.

[Nicole Lapin]

Maybe I should have complimented her.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

You could do it afterwards.

[Morgan Lavoy]

Wait, no. Like, because at no point did you say, I agree. I threw you a compliment football, and you didn't catch it. You just watched it land on the ground and roll away.

[Nicole Lapin]

And not good at sports.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

And.

And in doing so, Nicole. And I know you were not doing this intentionally. You forced Morgan to compliment you even further. That's what happened, right?

[Nicole Lapin]

You were like, no, now she's not complimenting me. She says I'm bad.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

But basically, what happened here was like, morgan, Nicole, you did a great job, Nicole. Oh, stop.

Oh, stop.

Tell me more.

[Nicole Lapin]

I don't say it like that.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

No, of course you didn't. But that's the thing that's happening is you're like, oh, no, no, no. But then Morgan has to reiterate it. Well, let me tell you what you did. Oh, no, no, no. And then Morgan's got to tell you more. That's that you're not trying to do that. But that is actually what's happening.

[Morgan Lavoy]

That's so funny. The thing that makes me concerned about it is that your first response was like, what did I do? And it's like, are you not taking stock of all of the things that you're doing that are objectively accomplishments?

[Nicole Lapin]

Interesting. No, I'm taking stock of all the stuff that still needs to be done. And so this is a much deeper problem. But when you say that, I'm like, what?

[Jason Pfeiffer]

What?

[Nicole Lapin]

Oh, I. I'm still in the middle of finishing these parts of the website and we still have to like, edit this class and like, I still need to pay a gazillion dollars of taxes and other things that, like, I wasn't expecting. And like, I'm in the middle of it. And so I'm thinking about all the stuff that still needs to happen. And I'm so appreciative that Morgan thinks that it's cool what's already happened, but.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

That diminishes it so much. Stick around. Help wanted. We'll be right back.

Let's talk about something every business owner needs. It's a well managed cash flow. Because when your cash flow is off, everything feels off. But when it's in sync, everything flows smoothly. That's where Intuit QuickBooks comes in. With QuickBooks Money Tools, your money and your books finally speak the same language, get paid faster, pay bills smoothly, and even secure funding all in one platform. No more juggling logins or chasing invoices. QuickBooks Money management tools gives you real time insight insights into your cash flow so you know what's coming in, what's going out, and when to act. It's like having a financial dashboard that updates with every payment and bill automatically. That means no manual matching, clearer insights, improved decision making, and more time to grow your business, to transform your cash flow and your business. Check out QuickBooks money management tools today. Learn [e-mail] money Again, that's quickbooks.com money terms apply. Money movement services are provided by Intuit Payments, Inc. Licensed as a money transmitter by the New York State Department of Financial Services.

[Nicole Lapin]

Real talk. Holiday shopping is chaos. But the best gift I gave this year, Masterclass. I actually gifted it to a friend who was feeling stuck at work. Fast forward a few weeks later and she was quoting Chris Voss like a negotiating press. Masterclass has over 200 classes from experts who actually know their stuff. Think Joanna Gaines, Amy Poehler, James Clear, and yes, even CIA hostage negotiator Chris Voss. It's awesome. So whether you're looking to get inspired, get a raise, or just get it together this new year. This is the ultimate upgrade. And listen, it is shockingly easy to fit into your life with Masterclass. You get thousands of bite sized lessons across 13 categories that can fit into even the busiest of schedules. I use this to be a better leader and I think you should too. Plus, Masterclass always has great offers during the holidays, sometimes up to as much as 50% off. So head over to masterclass.com helpwanted for the current offer. That's up to 50% [e-mail] helpwanted masterclass.com helpwanted.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Welcome back to Help wanted. Let's get to it. This is very interesting. I mean, look, you are.

I can relate to this. Not in the compliment way.

I can take a compliment just fine, but in the not self celebratory way. So for example, I remember getting the job as editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine and friends, friends would say, oh, that's amazing. Are you gonna go celebrate or like, oh, let's go celebrate. And I hated that idea because I was like, there's nothing to celebrate. Like now I have to do it and I have to do it well. Getting the opportunity was not the accomplishment. Doing it well is the accomplishment. So I did not want to celebrate that moment. But then of course you go into doing it and then you can never celebrate like one individual moment. So it's never been celebrated. And that's fine with me. But a compliment celebrate, not celebrate. No, definitely not. Would, that would be the stupidest thing in the world. There's nothing to celebrate. But, but maybe that's also my response that is exactly the same as you swiping away compliments. But I hear you, I hear you. You're equating a compliment to some kind of declaration of mission accomplished. And you're like, it's not mission accomplished. We just got some stuff done this week and there's a lot more to do next week.

[Morgan Lavoy]

I think that's part of it. And like, of course that's what you just articulated. But I think that this is not specific to action compliments on like action items or things like that. But like, I see this even when people say like, love your outfit or like you look beautiful today or like before you go on air, which is, you know, something that's nice to hear if you're about to be in front of America on Good Morning America or all these shows that you're about to go on. And that's not a explanation that you can stretch to a physical compliment. Because it's not like someone's gonna say, like, oh, you look so nice. And you're like, I have to get dressed again tomorrow. So, like, you can't compliment my outfit today. But, like, I see you brush it off where you're. Someone's like, oh, you look so good. And you're like, no, you look so good.

[Nicole Lapin]

Yeah, but my hair did look crazy for Good Morning America. Like, it did look, like, curly.

[Morgan Lavoy]

What's going on here? Like, what's this?

[Jason Pfeiffer]

You're living it. What is this?

[Nicole Lapin]

What do you mean, what is it?

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Unpack it. Unpack it right now. This is. It's therapy hour.

[Nicole Lapin]

What? What do you mean my hair looked crazy? It was just extra curly. Like, I don't. There's no explanat to it.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Morgan, did it look crazy?

[Morgan Lavoy]

It did not look crazy. It looked great.

[Nicole Lapin]

To be fair, Morgan did say that, and it was so lovely. And I did hate it going on, but then I saw it after and I was like, oh, it's not as bad as it felt at the time. I just feel like we have a lot of things to do. We have to do this segment and we have to then whatever. Maybe there's not a moment of a finish line where there is a celebration. To your point, Jason, of, like, when do we celebrate this getting a job thing? There's no point. There's no finish line in this type of startup environment and, like, getting things done. Maybe there should be or maybe we should make that because it doesn't. Yeah, it doesn't feel like, oh, God, you guys. Doesn't feel compliment worthy as we're going because we're like, oh, God, what did I just do? What did I.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Well, what you did is you just set some kind of bar, and I'm not sure exactly where it is of what compliment worthy is. That is an interesting insight that there is something that maybe is quantifiable. Maybe is not. Maybe it's just like an abstract thing that is unreachable. But in your mind, where you're like, this is the thing that's worthy of a compliment. And. And most things fall underneath whatever that bar is.

[Morgan Lavoy]

Yeah, that's not good. We need to put the compliment bar somewhere else.

[Nicole Lapin]

But I think that the compliment bar, for me, I don't give a lot. I also don't give that many compliments, but when I do, like, I really meet up. And so I think sometimes I should probably give more encouragement. This is, again, not about me taking compliments, but compliments in General, like, when they're rare and they're really merited. When was there a compliment worthy moment? We got a webby. That was cool. Compliment.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

That's not a compliment moment. See, this is interesting. This is also interesting because I think that you just triangulated the compliment bar, which is not a compliment bar. It is a congratulations bar. Like, those are different things. Getting a Webby.

Okay, congratulations.

An achievement has been reached. A compliment is just like, hey, good job, did a good thing. But those are different. Those are different levels.

[Nicole Lapin]

Academy.

[Morgan Lavoy]

Well, Jason, you said in the beginning that you were good at taking compliments. Have you always been that way?

[Jason Pfeiffer]

No. No, I haven't. I don't think that I was as resistant to it as Nicole, but I always felt like, okay, I'm going back. I'm going back in time. Have I ever told you this mantra that I had in the earlier part of my career?

[Nicole Lapin]

No, I'm surprised that you had a mantra.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

You're not a mantra, I'm not a mantra kind of guy, But I felt like I needed one in the earlier part of my career. And, like, by earlier part, I mean I was working at local newspapers in Massachusetts, and I was looking. I felt like I was at the bottom of a mountain and I was looking upwards, and I was like, how do I get to the top of that mountain? And my mantra was, I'm not fucking around. That is what I kept saying to myself, I'm not fucking around. Monday, I'm not fucking around. Tuesday, I'm not fucking around. I kept saying that to myself, I'm not fucking around. And the reason was because I felt like I had to trudge through something and that I had to, like, steel myself for an endlessness ahead. It was. It was. There was a lot of endlessness ahead. Tons of rejection and tons of, like, working hard for next to zero dollars. Oh, my God. The amount of, like, stories that I wrote on deadline for $50, like, I.

Was just doing anything.

And so I just kept telling myself, I'm not around. Like, I'm here for a larger thing. I'm going to do this. And it's just heads down. And so I definitely did not register when people would compliment me on anything because I was comparing whatever they were seeing against what excellent should look like. Oh, that was really well written. Okay. Except he wasn't in the New York Times, and the world isn't talking about it, so it's not that well written. Like, that's kind of how I kept feeling about it. But at some point, you know, I got to a level that I felt like I had been working towards, and there's always higher to go. I will not be satisfied if five years from now I look back at where I was right this second and don't think to myself, oh, wow, I've come so far, right? Like, I. I need to know that I'm on a upward path, but I'm happy where I got. And so now when people email me and they're like, that thing was really well written, I just have to tell you that I'm very happy about it. It doesn't feel that personal like I often feel when people compliment me. This isn't always true with friends to my face, but certainly compliments that I get from readers or professional acquaintances or something, I often feel like they're complimenting somebody else, like they're complimenting the character named Jason Pfeiffer that I play in the world. They're not complimenting me. And so there feels like a level of detachment to it. But it's also nice. It's nice to hear I say thank you and I'm totally fine with that. I don't feel uncomfortable. I'm not like, deflecting. I mean, they just feel so obnoxious to. To read to you. I'm going to read a compliment from a woman named Whitney who sent me a DM on LinkedIn. But here's what she wrote at 11:15am this morning. She wrote, I have to say, though, I know you know this, you are an amazing writer. I typically glaze over when reading newsletters, emails, etc, but your personality shines through to create a very engaging interface. I am inspired. Thanks again. Okay.

So nice.

So nice. I don't feel that in my soul. Like, I don't feel like she really complimented. It doesn't feel like it hit me anywhere underneath my skin, but I sent the little like, gratitude hands emoji and I wrote, so nice of you to say exclamation mark. It was so nice of her to say. So nice. And so I've gotten. I'm happy about those. It doesn't fuel me, but I'm happy about it.

[Nicole Lapin]

So two things on that.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Yeah.

[Nicole Lapin]

First, I have gotten so much better at compliments. To be fair, I do say thank you. And part of why I say thank you more often than I used to, but I don't do that 100% of the time, because we have clear evidence of that is because it just stops the compliment cycle and that it makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable. So thank you is the right thing to say. Like, somebody says a nice thing, you say, thank you. The impetus for me is always, like, you also, you know, your dress is also so nice, whatever. And I've tried to just say thank you. It stops the, like. Like, uncomfortable, like, cringe factor. I don't love hearing super nice things because, again, I focus on perhaps some areas to improve and for probably many other reasons that will be discussed for the rest of my life in therapy. So I have tried to do that, and it just stops the uncomfortableness that I feel. So it's the right thing to do, and it stops it. The second thing that you mentioned is that when somebody compliments your, like, letter from the editor or the, you know, an art or whatever like, that, there are a lot of people that contribute to that. And so I don't know if you feel this way, but, you know, if somebody is complimenting my hair or whatever, like, I didn't do my hair usually on this days. Like, I did my hair today, and I don't think anyone is gonna compliment it. I actually did excellent. Really good.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

The best.

Best I've ever seen.

[Nicole Lapin]

But there are many professional humans that contribute to a lot of work and whatever, and, like, sometimes I don't think it's. I don't deserve that compliment. Like, I didn't do the hair, and so the hair lady should get the gondola man right on my head. But, like, whatever. You had a copy editor who maybe made it exponentially better. Maybe they should get the compliment. So I just think there's a lot of people behind the scenes that do a lot of things. And when the compliment is given, like, even on an outfit, like, I didn't make the outfit, I procured it somehow. Like, somebody gave it to me or I bought it or I don't know, and I put it on my body, and, like, I don't know if that deserves. Like, I didn't do anything that fantastic.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Oh, Morgan. Morgan, for a brief second, just looked very sad for you.

[Morgan Lavoy]

That must make me sad, because I hear that, and it sounds ridiculous, like, to be like, oh, well, you can't possibly compliment my outfit because somebody else made it and whatever, and, like, compliment my parents for giving birth. Like, no, you're not giving yourself enough credit. And I think based on all of our understanding of the importance of, like, not moving the goalpost of success and having a definition of success that is static, that if you hit it, you can feel accomplished.

[Nicole Lapin]

But that's. Congratulations. Not a compliment according to Jason's delineation.

[Morgan Lavoy]

But I think that's why you shouldn't set the success bar or the compliment bar too high. I think that if you only feel accomplished when you win a Webby, but not when you do a week of really hard work, it's going to be like, it's going to be a slog. We used to do this thing at iHeart, which I really liked, and it was complimentary and not small talk. It was big talk. And it wasn't just, like, wasting time fodder. We used to do this thing at the end of our weekly meetings called Secret Heroes, where it was just part of the slideshow presentation deck of the work of the week for the whole company. And then there was a last, last slide called Secret Heroes, and it was five minutes where someone could raise their hand and compliment work that someone else did that they didn't get recognized for that week. And it's really nice. It's really nice. And it's not fluff. It's not small talk. It's like giving someone recognition of work that they did. And I think that that's so important to make everyone feel, like, valuable and valued on a team. And so when you don't take a compliment that I give you, it makes me worried that you're not seeing yourself as the same, like, valued and valuable leader of the company that you are.

[Nicole Lapin]

That's so nice. Thank you so much. To be fair, when we used to use Slack, which we don't now because it feels like another application, there was a channel that was cleverly titled some sort of Secret Hero wins thing, and I thought that was so lovely, and if I could get myself to use Slack, we should have that, and that would be great.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

A thread that has not been pulled here yet, which I think we should just do briefly, is to acknowledge you said it, and I am going to admit it as well. Not the best at giving compliments, or maybe fine at doing it when we do it, but don't do it enough. And I definitely don't do that. I rarely reach out to people on any of my teams and say, great job. Like, that was great. That piece that you wrote was great. That thing that you designed was great. That came together really nicely. Whatever. I don't do that. And it's. It's not because I want to be a jerk who just drives people, and it's just because I just don't think to do it. And I should, because, like, the Secret Hero thing just reminded me that people feel really good when they are acknowledged and that if you're in a position where the acknowledgement coming from you carries weight. And I always forget that I am in that position, but I am. It is really like a responsibility to be able to do it.

If you are in a position to.

Compliment somebody else, it's like you're walking around with a pocket full of hundred dollar bills and it's like, you better go hand those things out because people want them. And if you, if otherwise you go home and then you put the pants in the wash and you ruin all.

The hundred dollar bills.

Like, go hand them out. Go hand them out now. And so I, I'm saying this in some ways as a reminder to myself, but this is true. It's not just about us getting the compliments. It's also realizing that we are, we are. It is incumbent upon us to be complimenting others.

[Nicole Lapin]

Yeah.

[Morgan Lavoy]

My experience, because I, I complimented you today, Nicole. I do find myself giving people compliments often and I think that they still carry weight because what I have realized in my own sort of feelings about taking compliments, I certainly take a compliment. You guys give me a compliment right now, I'll say thank you and I'll move right on. But I, I realized earlier in my career that I was, when people would give me criticism, and not necessarily like negative criticism, but just feedback about how I could improve, I was really taking that to heart. And that was carrying much more weight for me than when people gave me compliments. But they should be weighted equally. I think, in my opinion, like you should be taking opportunities for improvement or criticism if someone tells you you're not doing a very good job, like, you need to also process the things that you're doing well in order to not get totally destroyed and burned out. And so I feel like the other people that I work with, if I give them feedback on things that need to do differently or need to improve, I also need to give them compliments because I don't want them to feel like they're not doing a good job because I know they're going to take that to heart. I want to make sure that they also are not feeling like where they're netting out is that they're not doing a good job. And so in the same way that I was like, you know what, like, I need to for myself, register the compliments and take them. Just like I do the feedback in the areas for improvement, I also feel like other people probably need more of that too. And I think that people still take it seriously. And I don't think that it's. They Feel like, because Maggie Q. Also talked about this where she was like, everyone's so complimentary. I don't believe it. I think that even if they don't believe it, whatever, it's a nice thing to do.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Morgan.

[Nicole Lapin]

Yeah.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

You're very thoughtful and that was a great point that you just made.

Thanks.

You're welcome, Nicole.

[Nicole Lapin]

Yeah, I also think that was so thoughtful, Morgan, and a great.

[Morgan Lavoy]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

[Nicole Lapin]

I do think about in life the idea of. And I like the visual of having the hundred dollar bills that you're giving out. I think in life, I like to try to remind myself if I think, you know, somebody is a vibe and is looking hot, you know, out on the street, I want to tell her, you look great. And like, you know, we don't do that enough. Like, we don't say out loud the nice things that we think. So I try to be mindful of that. But I think in a work environment, on the pace that we go and the pressure that I have, like, that just smushes me every day. I think when I hear that from Morgan. Oh, I should also be more mindful in these situations to tell Morgan that she did a great job on the 400 things that she also did. And so anyways, did I eventually say thank you? I did. I said thank you. Can you scroll down?

I'll scroll.

[Morgan Lavoy]

Let me see.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Yeah.

See how many exchanges it took.

[Nicole Lapin]

I'll do it.

I'll do a very delayed belated thank you. Thank you so much, Morgan.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Let's see. We're waiting to see if you actually said it in the chat or if this is the first time.

Wow.

[Morgan Lavoy]

Morgan is.

[Nicole Lapin]

Sleuthing for everything on text message. It's really after.

[Morgan Lavoy]

After many more exchanges. And also, and also to your point, Nicole talking about what else we need to accomplish for the rest of the day in the week. She says, but thank you. I'll take it.

[Nicole Lapin]

Okay.

Oh, okay.

You guys.

Okay.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Yeah. It was log and tortured and. And it came with a sort of distanced caveat of sorts, but he accepted. Good job, Nicole.

[Nicole Lapin]

Thank you so much. Yay.

[Morgan Lavoy]

Perfect.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Help Wanted is a production of Money News Network. Help Wanted is hosted by me, Jason.

[Nicole Lapin]

Pfeiffer, and me, Nicole Lapitt. Our executive producer is Morgan Lavoy. Do you want some help? Email our [e-mail] for the chance to.

Have some of your questions answered on the show.

And follow us on Instagramoneynews and TikTokoneyNewsNetwork.

For exclusive content and to see our beautiful faces. Maybe a little dance?

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Oh, I didn't sign up for that.

[Nicole Lapin]

All right, well, talk to you soon.