Podcast Summary: Help Wanted - "How Can I Find the Same Validation in Parenting That I Get From My Job? Help!"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Help Wanted
• Host/Author: Money News Network
• Description: Do you have a work problem? We have solutions. On Help Wanted, Entrepreneur editor in chief Jason Feifer and money expert Nicole Lapin help you stay ahead of the curve and make money doing what you love — no matter if you’re trying to impress your boss, or if you ARE the boss.
• Episode: "How Can I Find the Same Validation in Parenting That I Get From My Job? Help!"
• Release Date: January 14, 2025

Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of Help Wanted, host Jason Feifer steps in as the sole host while Nicole Lapin is on maternity leave. Joining him is his wife, Jen Miller, who co-hosts for this episode. The discussion delves deep into the emotional dynamics of balancing professional validation and parental fulfillment. The episode offers listeners a candid exploration of finding personal satisfaction beyond the workplace and the inherent challenges that come with parenting.

Transition to Solo Hosting

Jason Feifer opens the episode by explaining Nicole Lapin's maternity leave and introduces his wife, Jen Miller, as the guest co-host. This transition sets the stage for a more personal and intimate conversation about parenting and work-life balance.

"Hello, Help Wanted listeners. It's just me, Jason... now it's just me. Now it begins. Me and the co-hosts who are filling in for Nicole..."
[00:28] Jason Feifer

Reflections on Work and Parenthood

The conversation kicks off with Jason recounting a past discussion with Nicole about how having children impacts one’s work and personal life. He shares a poignant memory of waiting for the birth of their first child, Fen, highlighting a realization about the irreversible changes that come with parenthood.

"I had this realization... we are at the very end of the before times."
[02:00] Jason Feifer

Jen Miller echoes these sentiments, expressing her hope that motherhood would serve as a transformative force to alleviate her work-related anxieties. However, she candidly admits that while motherhood has brought immense joy, it hasn't entirely shielded her from work-induced stress.

"I kind of hoped that becoming a mom would get me out of my head and, like, allow me to focus more on other people. And I mean, it definitely has."
[03:19] Jen Miller

The Quest for Validation

A significant portion of the dialogue revolves around the need for personal validation derived from both work and parenting. Jen articulates a desire to feel as validated by her role as a mother as she does by her professional achievements.

"I wish that, like, psychologically... I wish that I could feel more personal validation actually in being a mom."
[06:55] Jen Miller

Jason explores the contrast between the tangible achievements in work and the often intangible rewards of parenting. He uses a metaphor to describe work as "hacking your way through a dense thicket and creating your own path," whereas parenting feels more like "managing a pre-existing set of experiences and concerns."

"Work feels like hacking your way through a dense thicket and creating your own path... parenting, I don't picture that."
[12:15] Jason Feifer

Jen Miller offers a nuanced perspective, suggesting that while parenting does involve creating certain structures and paths for children, many aspects are beyond parental control, which may contribute to the lack of personal validation compared to work.

"I think we are, like, competing against ourselves. And I think that, like, when it comes to your children, you can't compete against yourself to raise your kid."
[12:12] Jen Miller

Balancing Ambition and Family

The hosts discuss how their shared ambition and work-oriented nature influence their ability to derive satisfaction from parenting. Jen expresses concern that scaling back her work might create an imbalance in their relationship, given their mutual drive.

"If we were both kind of scaling back to some degree, it would make more sense."
[16:47] Jen Miller

Jason reflects on the foundation of their relationship being built around their professional lives, suggesting that their mutual understanding and celebration of each other's work is both a strength and a challenge when seeking validation outside of work.

"The foundation of our relationship is very much actually based around who we are as, as creators, as people who make things."
[17:39] Jason Feifer

Challenging Societal Standards

The conversation touches on societal expectations and standards, particularly regarding women's roles and validation. Jen highlights the historical struggle for women to receive validation beyond traditional roles as mothers and wives.

"Historically, women have been validated in the eyes of society in their roles as mothers and in their roles as wives."
[06:52] Jen Miller

They debate whether societal metrics for success, such as achievements in journalism or parenting, are fair or adequate measures of personal worth and fulfillment.

"Maybe we need different incentives. Like, maybe we need like top 10 lists for parenting."
[28:45] Jen Miller

Finding Personal Fulfillment

Towards the end of the episode, Jason and Jen grapple with the philosophical question of "what is enough?" They acknowledge the difficulty in measuring self-worth between professional accomplishments and personal roles as parents. The discussion underscores the importance of recognizing one's efforts without harsh self-judgment.

"There's no easy solution... you can't measure away these things against each other."
[27:32] Jason Feifer

Jen contemplates whether different professional paths might alleviate some of the emotional burdens associated with her current work, though she remains unsure if this would lead to less anxiety.

"Do you think that you would just have a less complicated relationship with work or do you think that you would just find something else to be anxious about with it?"
[19:46] Jason Feifer

Conclusion and Takeaways

The episode concludes with Jason and Jen reinforcing the idea that seeking validation is a universal experience. They emphasize the importance of open conversations about the challenges of balancing work and parenting, encouraging listeners to find solace in shared experiences rather than striving for perfection.

Jen humorously suggests the impracticality of societal validation for parenting akin to work achievements, highlighting the unique and unquantifiable nature of parenting rewards.

"Yeah, I'm so kidding."
[29:20] Jen Miller

Jason reassures Jen, affirming her excellence as a mother and emphasizing the intrinsic value of parenting despite the lingering work anxieties.

"I think you're an amazing mom and you should feel very validated by that."
[31:01] Jason Feifer

Key Quotes with Timestamps

• Jason Feifer: "I had this realization... we are at the very end of the before times."
  [02:00]

• Jen Miller: "I wish that, like, psychologically... I wish that I could feel more personal validation actually in being a mom."
  [06:55]

• Jen Miller: "Historically, women have been validated in the eyes of society in their roles as mothers and in their roles as wives."
  [06:52]

• Jason Feifer: "Work feels like hacking your way through a dense thicket and creating your own path... parenting, I don't picture that."
  [12:15]

• Jen Miller: "Maybe we need different incentives. Like, maybe we need like top 10 lists for parenting."
  [28:45]

• Jason Feifer: "I think you're an amazing mom and you should feel very validated by that."
  [31:01]

Final Thoughts

This episode of Help Wanted serves as a profound exploration of the intersection between professional ambition and personal fulfillment in parenting. Through honest dialogue, Jason and Jen Miller illuminate the universal struggle to find balance and validation in multiple facets of life. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own sources of validation and to embrace the complexities that come with balancing work and family life.

For those grappling with similar questions, this episode offers comfort in shared experiences and underscores the importance of self-compassion in the journey towards finding "enough."