Podcast Summary: Help Wanted – "How Soon Can I Follow Up With a New Business Friend Without Being Weird? Help!"

Release Date: February 4, 2025
Host/Authors: Jason Feifer & Nicole Lapin
Description: On this episode of Help Wanted, Jason Feifer and Nicole Lapin delve into the delicate art of maintaining new professional relationships without coming across as intrusive or "weird." Through personal anecdotes and expert insights, they offer actionable advice to listeners navigating the complexities of modern networking.

Introduction to the Dilemma

The episode kicks off with Nicole Lapin sharing a personal story that sets the stage for the discussion. She recounts her interaction with "Susan," a CEO of a well-known company, highlighting the excitement and subsequent uncertainty she faced in maintaining the budding professional relationship.

Nicole Lapin [05:03]:
"I feel like it, you know, that magic thing... when you meet someone, you're like, this person could be a friend."

The Struggle with Follow-Ups

Nicole details her exchanges with Susan, from initial LinkedIn messages to scheduling follow-up meetings. Despite positive interactions, Nicole grapples with determining the appropriate timing to suggest another meeting without appearing overly eager.

Nicole Lapin [06:59]:
"I don't know when it's appropriate to suggest getting together next. Like, does that mean that I could be like, we got together. We had lunch in January, in December. We had lunch in December. Is it appropriate to say, let's get together in January?"

This uncertainty reflects a broader issue many professionals face: balancing the desire to nurture relationships with the fear of being perceived as pushy.

Changing Social Dynamics and Loneliness

The conversation shifts to the evolving nature of friendships, especially in the context of growing up and shifting priorities. Both hosts acknowledge the increasing feelings of isolation and the challenges in building and maintaining meaningful connections.

Nicole Lapin [05:16]:
"Do you feel, like, isolated?"

Taryn Southern [10:00]:
"You do not remember the contents exactly, you walk away with a sense of kinship with that person."

Strategies for Maintaining Relationships

Taryn Southern introduces the concept of "bageling" (a term coined by Nicole), comparing it to social fishing—using subtle cues to gauge someone's interest in deepening a relationship. They discuss the importance of initiating follow-ups and trusting the authenticity of the connection rather than adhering strictly to social norms.

Taryn Southern [12:26]:
"Do what feels authentic to you because that's you actually living the life that you want to create."

Nicole reflects on her aspiration to structure her professional life to foster genuine connections, emphasizing the value of regular interactions in onboarding friends.

Nicole Lapin [14:11]:
"My goal is to structure my professional life such that I feel good about leaving the computer and getting coffee with someone for an hour and a half every day."

Navigating Friendships Across Genders

A significant portion of the episode delves into the nuances of forming friendships with the opposite sex, considering factors like existing relationships and societal perceptions. Taryn shares personal experiences, highlighting how gender dynamics can influence comfort levels and the perception of appropriateness in professional settings.

Taryn Southern [27:16]:
"I couldn't do that with... like, I couldn't do that with men. It would definitely be creepy."

Nicole adds depth to the discussion by sharing her own experience of maintaining a platonic yet deeply connected friendship with Everett Taylor, CEO of Kickstarter, illustrating how consistent cadence fosters genuine bonds.

Nicole Lapin [25:24]:
"I ended up having this great conversation where we're super candid with each other about what we're doing in our careers, what we're thinking and what we want to do next."

Final Advice and Takeaways

As the episode concludes, both hosts encourage listeners to embrace vulnerability and authenticity in their relationships. They stress the importance of taking initiative and not being overly concerned with potential misperceptions, reminding audiences that genuine connections are built on mutual interest and respect.

Taryn Southern [38:03]:
"Be open. Be vulnerable. Lead with authenticity. And the people who love that about you will, you know, they will respond in kind."

Nicole Lapin [38:15]:
"If it blows up in my face, can I blame you?"

The episode wraps up with a light-hearted acknowledgment of their conversation's depth and the ongoing nature of building and sustaining professional friendships.

Key Quotes with Timestamps

• Nicole Lapin [05:16]:
  "Do you feel, like, isolated?"

• Nicole Lapin [06:59]:
  "I don't know when it's appropriate to suggest getting together next."

• Taryn Southern [12:26]:
  "Do what feels authentic to you because that's you actually living the life that you want to create."

• Nicole Lapin [14:11]:
  "My goal is to structure my professional life such that I feel good about leaving the computer and getting coffee with someone for an hour and a half every day."

• Taryn Southern [27:16]:
  "I couldn't do that with men. It would definitely be creepy."

• Nicole Lapin [25:24]:
  "We're super candid with each other about what we're doing in our careers, what we're thinking and what we want to do next."

• Taryn Southern [38:03]:
  "Be open. Be vulnerable. Lead with authenticity. And the people who love that about you will, you know, they will respond in kind."

Conclusion

This episode of Help Wanted offers a candid exploration of the challenges in nurturing professional friendships in today's fast-paced, often isolating world. Through personal stories and thoughtful dialogue, Jason Feifer and Nicole Lapin provide listeners with valuable insights and practical strategies to foster authentic connections without the fear of overstepping social boundaries.

Whether you're a seasoned professional or just starting your career, the advice shared in this episode serves as a timely reminder of the importance of authenticity, vulnerability, and proactive engagement in building meaningful relationships.