C (4:58)
There is something that you want to do right now that you are not doing because you're just afraid. And you've already heard the advice on this, right? Ah, take the leap. Just do it. But that doesn't resonate. And here's why. I mean, it seems pretty obvious to me. Take the leap. That is dismissive of your fears, your Real fears. It's telling you to just magically stop being afraid. As if you could just, just be like, oh, I hadn't thought of that. Hadn't thought of not being afraid. It doesn't work like that. Today I'm going to share a different strategy with you. I want you to acknowledge that fear, to embrace it, to search inside of it. Because somewhere buried in that dark place is actually the key to your problem. And to start, I'm going to show you how this helped a friend who had been afraid of starting something new. So this friend, I'm going to call her Andrea. Andrea is a talented and accomplished person. She's overseen production teams for the world's largest media brands. I am sure you have seen something that she's made, but you've never seen her face or her name because she's always behind the scenes. And now she's wondering, huh, maybe I should put myself out there. So she texted me recently, I'm just going to read straight from it. This is what I read on my phone. She texts, jason, what is your one piece of advice for someone, me who is pretty nervous scared to start their own podcast? I've been wanting to start one around industry shifts and AI technology, but I just wonder if I'm boring. Lol. I feel like I've been stuck in the sponge phase where I'm just soaking in all the information but really unsure of if I should pull the trigger. All right, that was her text. I love this question. Andrea knows she's stuck, she knows she's afraid, and she knows she needs something to dislodge herself. She just isn't sure what it is. In turn, I had a question for her and it revealed a lot. So here was the next part of our conversation. I texted, well, here's a what's the worst that can happen if you start a podcast? And her answer was, everyone will know I suck. I think optics, that's my biggest fear. And I said, so what if you made a first episode and sent it to like 10 non judgmental and honest friends and asked them if it sucks? And she replied, honestly, that's not a bad idea. I mean, hey, look, I can't always promise good ideas, but at least I can promise deliver not bad ones. Anyway, here's the crazy thing. Andrea, without knowing it, already knew the problem and the solution herself. Like she already understood the exact problem she was facing and what she needed to do to solve it. She knew it. So why'd she ask me? Because she just didn't know she knew it. And she gave this away. She should have seen it herself in the very first words she told me. Because here's the thing. When we are afraid, we're not always sure what we're afraid of. And if we don't know that, we can't find the right solutions. But even when we're lost, we know a lot more than we think. All right, let's step away from fear for a moment and instead let's talk about pain. Have you ever felt pain in one part of your body, but the problem was actually somewhere else? Why is that? I got curious, so I looked it up, and here's an answer that was written by a guy named James C. Watson of the Mayo Clinic College of Medicine and Science. He writes, sometimes pain felt in one area of the body does not accurately represent where the problem is because the pain is referred there from another area. Pain can be referred because signals from several areas of the body often travel through the same nerve pathways in the spinal cord and brain. For example, pain from a heart attack may be felt in the neck, jaws, arms, or abdomen. Pain from a gallbladder attack may be felt in the back of the shoulder. Alright, that's what he wrote. So now back to me. So in other words, if you have a gallbladder problem, no amount of shoulder massage will cure it. This is why you go see a doctor. They can backtrack from the pain, find the root cause, and then treat it. We can think of fear. Similarly, fear radiates outward. It starts in one place but manifests in another. So if you're stuck trying to overcome something scary, it's worth trying to identify the root cause. A moment ago, I said that Andrea already knew the problem and solution herself. Here's what I mean by that. Andrea told me that she's afraid of starting a podcast. And then she told me that she's been in the sponge phase, quote, unquote. That was her language sponge phase, learning all there is to learn about podcasting. But somehow she says this research hasn't cured her fear. You know why? I know why. It's because her fear isn't about knowledge. If she was afraid of looking uninformed about podcasting, then this sponge phase would be exactly the solution she needed. But because that that research did not solve her problem, well, then she needed to better define the root cause of her fear. It wasn't about knowing this stuff. It was about something else. That's why I asked Andrea the question, what's the worst that can happen by playing out a fear to the extreme, we can see what the fear is really about and therefore how to resolve it. And as you remember, what she said was she was afraid of looking stupid. Now, here's one more part of my text with Andrea, Just one more part of that exchange that I haven't shared yet. I suggested, as you might remember, that she make a podcast episode and share it with 10 honest, nonjudgmental friends. And she liked that idea. And then she wrote, yeah, like baby steps instead of no steps. Ha. And I said, exactly. You've created a specific lock for yourself, so let's find the key to that lock. That. That is the visual that I want you to hold on to. The lock and the key. Your fear isn't general. It's specific. It has nuances. It is the product of your own experiences, expectations, and perceived shortcomings. That means it is a lock of your own making. This is why advice like take the leap doesn't help. It's asking you to throw this very specific personal lock away, to not even engage with it, to ignore it. But you can't do that. You need to unlock that lock, which means you need the key. And the key has to be as personal as the lock itself. Andrea is a behind the scenes expert. She doesn't usually put herself on mic. That means she has all sorts of questions about herself, like, does she have things to say? Is she boring? Will anyone listen? These are her locks. To move forward, she needs a key that's crafted specifically for her lock. That's why I suggested making a podcast episode and sharing it with a few friends. This lowers the stakes, so she can give herself permission to just make a thing, which is really what she needs to do. Once she starts making it, her instincts are going to kick in. She'll start to learn to refine. She'll harness some existing skills and start developing new ones. It'll also address what she calls her optics problem. She's worried about being embarrassed. Now she has permission to do it differently. She can send her new podcast to her friends and preemptively admit that she's afraid. It sucks. Then she'll hear what her friends think. And if she chooses her friends wisely, she'll get real generous, constructive feedback. And here's my her first attempt will need work. It won't be perfect. First attempts always need work. But it won't be nearly as bad as she thinks. This is the way through fear. Let's review it. How do you do something you're afraid of? Number one, you recognize your fear is real. It is the product of you, informed by you, created by you. It can also be solved by you. Number two, Locate. Ask yourself what's the worst thing that can happen? Interrogate that answer. Find the thing you're really afraid of, the original source of the fear, which, just like pain, might originate from somewhere unexpected. Then number three, unlock. You have defined your fear. That is your lock. Now craft a key to unlock it. And finally, remember this. The goal is not to be unafraid. That is not possible. If Andrea takes my advice, she will not magically make an award winning podcast and she will not feel instantly good about it. But hopefully, hopefully she will give herself permission to move forward, to engage with it, to do the thing that actually eliminates fear, which is the act of doing and improving and succeeding. As Ryan Reynolds once told me, to be good at something, you must be willing to be bad. That is our actual goal here, to create the willingness. And that, as you may know if you listen to this podcast, comes from my newsletter. It's called One Thing Better each week, one way to improve your work to find success and satisfaction and build a career or company that you love. You can find it at onething Better email that is a web address One thingbetter email. Or you can just stay tuned here on Help Wanted where I tend to read them a few weeks after they publish. Either way, I hope that this has helped you shake loose some willingness and go tackle whatever you are afraid of. Help Wanted is a production of Money News Network. Help Wanted is hosted by me, Jason.
