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This is Help Wanted, the show that makes your work work for you. I'm Jason Pfeiffer, editor in chief of.

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Entrepreneur magazine, and I'm money expert Nicole Lapin. On Tuesdays, Jason and I answer the helpline and help callers solve their work problems.

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And on Thursdays, I give you one way to improve your work and build a career or company you love.

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And it starts now.

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You are just done. You've been working on something for a while or you've been collaborating with other people, or you've been involved with other people and it's done. You want to end it. It's time to move on. You're just not sure how to tell those other people. Today, I will show you how. This is a follow up to last week's podcast where I talked about the power of ending things. I explained that I had just ended a community that I created, which meant meant telling 160 people that it was over. After I published that, I heard from a listener named Rachel. She, she told me this. I'm just going to read from an email that she wrote. She wrote, as someone who procrastinates on ending things, because I hate disappointing people, the prospect of writing emails or announcing endings often stops me from taking any action at all. How did you write your email to your community? I'd love to see it and formulate strategies for ending things on a good note. Well, Rachel, that is a great idea. Today on this episode, I'm going to do just that. I'm going to dig into the very specific tactics and words you can use to end things and end them well. And I'm going to do that by sharing two specific kinds of endings. Number one, I'm going to tell you about the time I was fired. Fired from a job which taught me a lot about how to end things well. And then number two, I'm going to talk about how I ended my community. And as Rachel requested, I will share the email that I sent. Okay, ready? Here we go. First, let's talk about that time I was fired. This happened about a decade ago. I was a mid level editor at another national magazine and one day my manager sent a brief email asking if I had a minute. You know, I saw it and I was like, yeah, sure, I have a minute. So I walked into his office assuming we'd talk about some project. He motioned for me to sit down. And then the first words out of his mouth were, we're going to let you go. I was surprised, shocked, frankly. He kept talking calmly and straightforward. He explained the problem, which is they have a small staff and I wasn't carrying enough weight. He said, look, you are clearly very smart and talented, but your ideas are better suited elsewhere. And he was warm as he said this. Not stern, not defensive, not accusatory. The message really was you are great, just not here. Honestly, two things went through my mind as he said all this. Number one, you know what? He was right. I was not a fit at that magazine. And number two, I thought, this guy is very good at firing people. Whenever I need to do this, I am following his model that I am learning right now as I am being fired. Gosh, it was a crazy weird moment. He told me what would happen next. He asked if I had any questions. He offered to be a reference in the future, which was incredibly nice. He was patient, he was understanding. I left in a daze, but not angry or insulted. Honestly, I got it and I have thought a lot about that moment ever since. As I see it, my manager followed a four part formula for ending things. And here it is. Part number one. Be straightforward from the start. You want no awkwardness or suspenseful lead up. Just state the most important information first. Formula Part 2 Explain your reasoning. People deserve an explanation. Even if they disagree, they should at least understand your perspective. Formula Part 3 Respect without pandering. Be kind, be appreciative and be complimentary where appropriate, so long as it's honest and true and does not invite confusion or complexity. And then formula part 4 explain what happens next. When something ends, people feel disoriented. They need to know the plan, so give it without prompting. This is an excellent formula and I have followed it ever since because this formula can apply to all kinds of endings, not just firings. In fact, this is also how I ended my community. Rachel had asked to see the email, so here it is. Let's talk about how I ended my community. Remember that the formula begins with this. Be straightforward from the start. When I send big or important emails, I often like to summarize the major points at the top, almost like a table of contents. This way, people get all the important information first. There's no disorientation or surprise. Nobody is scanning through a dense email looking for answers. So here's how I began the community email that I wrote. I said, hey community, I have some news. I'll tell you the highlights first, then explain. Number one, I'm going to end this community. Number two we will have a final call on December 18th at 5pm Number three, this does not have to be farewell. I'm Building something new to be coming, probably Q2 of next year. Number four, I'm working on figuring out refunds for annual memberships. Okay, time to explain. So that was how I started the email. And next after that, I wanted to honor the group and its members. So I moved into the next phase of ending something, which is Respect without pandering. Now, okay, if you can remember the order in which I gave those phases, you'll remember that was actually phase three of the formula. But, you know, you can move these things around depending on what the best flow is. And in this case, I felt like respect without pandering really should come next. You can modify the formula as needed. So here's what I wrote. And remember, this comes right after that opening with the table of contents, where I'm like, going to end the community. We'll have a final call. Doesn't have to be farewell, I'm working on refunds. And then I say, okay, time to explain. And then I go into this. I write, first of all, thank you immensely. When I first launched this thing last November, raui, who became one of the most active members here, emailed me to basically say, hey, I'm taking a bet on you. I loved that framing and thought about it throughout this project. This community was somewhat abstract and the offer kept changing. And sticking around meant taking a bet on. The experience was incredible. I've gotten to know so many amazing people, and I know that many of you have connected and collaborated with each other. What a gift. Please let that continue. You can reach out to me anytime, for example, and I hope you'll continue to connect with each other. I'll keep the LinkedIn group live, if only so that it helps you find each other. Okay, let me just jump out here for a second. As you see, there are some details here. There was a LinkedIn group for the members and anyway, okay, why is this called Respect without pandering? Remember, that was the phase of ending things. Respect without pandering. Here's why. Because when you do something like this, it cannot feel empty or obligatory. Notice how I'm not overstating the importance of the community. I'm not saying that I regret ending it or that I'll miss everyone terribly or doing anything that people could question. My genuineness because of pandering undercuts everything. So my message was caring and clear. In effect, I am saying, I feel what you feel. I liked it too. But I'm also moving on. So after that, after that part of the email, I then moved into the next phase, which was explain your reasoning. Remember that is actually the second phase and the way that I laid it out. But you can use this however you want in whatever order. So I had to explain my reasoning. So here's how I continued the email we're jumping back into the email I wrote. So what? Why close the community? Well, I'll pull back the curtain. I've mentioned before that I'm over committed. Here's what I juggle every week. And then I listed like a very long list of commitments. I'll spare you all the details, but it's a lot, a lot of random things. This podcast is in that list. Anyway, okay, so then back to the email I write. Frankly, it's too much. I tend to start work at 7:30am and then go nonstop until 6 or 6:30 when I take a break for family and then often catch up on a few things around 10pm or so. I've been pushing myself to step away more, take walks, have coffee with friends, et cetera. And I do accomplish this sometimes, but not enough. And then, well, okay, let me step back out of the email. And then I shared a version of honestly what I said in last week's Help Wanted episode about the advice that I got from an Amazon executive about how a new product project came online for me that I needed to make space for. I wrote that my community was something I love, but that I've never quite figured out how to exponentially scale, and that it isn't financially viable at the scale it currently exists at. It's one of those joyful, beloved, almost there projects. And by the way, if you need more context on this, if you didn't hear last week's podcast episode about this, just go to the one that is called how to make space for your next big opportunity. Okay, so now after I have done all the things here right, I have been straightforward from the start. I have explained my reasoning I have respected without pandering. It was now time for phase four, which is to explain what happens next. I gave details about our final call, final call that I was hosting for the community and the refunds that I'll be issuing. That email I sent was 1300 words long, which is, I don't know, kind of like the length of a medium sized magazine article. I hit send. Many people very quickly, graciously replied, and then life moved on. Now look, I know endings are not always so clean. And some endings can be done by email and some should be done in person, or at least the phone. None of this is easy. Some of it is a lot harder than others. There are breakups, firings, endings of long standing agreements. There could be tears or protests. People's feelings are uncontrollable and they may be hurt. And that's okay. Their feelings are theirs. They are free to feel as they please. But I assure you, the hardest part of all of this is literally right before it is the moment before a final conversation or the seconds before you hit send on an email and then it's done and everyone gets to move on. At the start of this, Rachel, the listener who reached out to me, she admitted, as I said before, but I'll just remind you, she said, as someone who procrastinates on ending things, because I hate disappointing people, the prospect of writing emails or announcing endings often stops me from taking any action at all. Rachel, I totally sympathize. But here's another way to think about it. Disappointment is inevitable. If something isn't working, then it will start to degrade and the people who rely upon it will be disappointed no matter what. So here is your real choice. Will they be disappointed because you've become distant and unavailable and because the relationship has gone sour and because the product has suffered? Or will they become disappointed because they heard something that they didn't want to hear, delivered to them with clarity, grace and respect? When you think about it like that, there's really only one choice. And as you'll know if you are a longtime listener, that came from my newsletter. My newsletter is called One Thing Better each Week. One way to be more successful and satisfied and build a career or company that you love. I read my newsletter here on Help Wanted every Thursday. Thursday. But if you want to get it in your inbox a little early because it's actually a few weeks behind by the time you hear it on the podcast. If you want to get it early, along with some other great things that I put in the newsletter right in your inbox for free, just go to OneThingBetter email that is a web address, plug it into the browser OneThingBetter email. And with that I'm gonna end this episode and I'm gonna end it without pandering and respect and I'm gonna explain that I'm gonna end it because I have nothing else to say in this episode. And the next thing that happens is that I'll make another episode for you. Anyway, whatever. You get the idea. Thanks for listening. Help Wanted is a production of Money News Network. Help Wanted is hosted by me, Jason.