How To Not Freak Out While Waiting For Someone

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Help Wanted – "How To Not Freak Out While Waiting For Someone"

Date: March 26, 2026
Hosts: Jason Feifer (Entrepreneur Editor-in-Chief) and Nicole Lapin (Money Expert)

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Episode Overview

This episode tackles a common—and emotionally tricky—workplace scenario: what to do when you’re left hanging, waiting on a reply or decision from someone else, especially when silence feels like rejection. Jason Feifer offers actionable strategies to manage anxiety, reshape your perspective, and keep your cool when waiting for responses you can’t control.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Agony of Waiting: When You’re Left in the Lurch

• Jason reads a listener’s text:
  “[My friend] interviewed for a job and was told she’d hear back last week, but hasn’t. She asks, ‘There’s nothing to be done, right?’” (05:12)
• Wider relevance: Waiting for a response is stressful, whether it’s about a job, a pitch, or even just hanging out with someone.
• People often default to fearing the worst, making up narratives centered around themselves.

2. Personal Story: It's Not About You

• Jason shares a story from his own life:
  After moving to NYC and relying on a small circle of friends, one friend began pulling away. This led Jason to assume it was because of something he did.
• The truth revealed:
  His friend finally explained she was overwhelmed by personal issues (work stress, family fights) and had simply withdrawn from social life in general.
  • Memorable quote:

    “As I listened… I realized this whole time I had been making this situation about me. I assumed that I was the one that was driving her decisions. But that meant that I never thought about her. Because her life was bigger than just me.” — Jason (06:55)

3. The Reframe: Flip the Narrative

• Jason’s advice:
  When waiting on someone, take yourself out of the story. Instead of imagining reasons centered around you (e.g., they dislike you), try to brainstorm plausible explanations that don’t involve you at all.
• Practical exercise:
  • Come up with stories for their silence that don’t include you (vacation, personal crisis, lost your message, busy, etc.).
  • This breaks the cycle of anxious, self-centered thinking.

4. The Amanda Example: Real Work Application

• Case study: Amanda, an entrepreneur, waits months for a CEO to reply to her project pitch.
• Amanda imagines an intricate conspiracy of rejection. Jason coaches her through coming up with alternative stories:
  • CEO on vacation (summer!)
  • CEO dealing with board meeting prep, divorce, restructuring, or just a long to-do list
    (09:00–09:55)
  • Jason tells her:

    “If it was a no, they’d just tell you.” (08:30)

• Outcome: Amanda eventually gets the green light, but never learns what took so long. The important takeaway is it was never about Amanda—it was about the CEO’s life and priorities.

5. Big Takeaway: Keep Your Story Moving

• Core truth:
  While you’re waiting, your narrative doesn’t end—don’t put your life on hold.
  • “While you wait for them, you can do other things. Because they are not the only person with other things to do. You have other things to do, too.” — Jason (11:50)
• Perspective shift:
  You are not always the main character in others’ stories. Their delays are not necessarily a verdict on your worth or effort.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On self-centered worry:

  “I realized this whole time I had been making this situation about me… But that meant that I never thought about her.” — Jason (06:55)

• On plausible reasons for delays:

  “The only qualifications for this little guessing game is the story must be plausible and [you] cannot be part of the story.” — Jason (09:15)

• On regaining agency:

  “While you wait for them, you can do other things… One day, as you’re doing these other things, they will finally make a damn decision, at which point they will re-enter your story.” — Jason (12:10)

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Important Timestamps

• 05:12 — Listener text: the anguish of waiting after a job interview
• 06:35–07:10 — Jason’s NYC friendship story and realization
• 08:30 — The Amanda example: shifting from personal blame to empathetic guessing
• 09:00–09:55 — Brainstorming alternative explanations for the CEO’s silence
• 11:30–12:11 — The episode’s key takeaway: don’t put your story on pause

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Final Thought

This episode encourages listeners to step back from anxiously centering themselves in every unreturned message or delay, and instead—with empathy—consider the complexity of other people’s lives. In the meantime, keep moving forward with your own priorities and goals until stories reconnect, as they inevitably will.

Transcript

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[B]

This is Help Wanted, the show that makes your work work for you. I'm Jason Pfeiffer, Editor in Chief of

[A]

Entrepreneur Magazine, and I'm money expert Nicole Lapin. On Tuesdays, Jason and I answer the Help and help callers solve their work problems.

[B]

And on Thursdays, I give you one way to improve your work and build a career or company you love.

[A]

And it starts now.

[B]

I want to read you a text message that I just got from a friend. This is word for word. Just reading it from my phone say I interviewed for a job and was told I'd hear back Last week, but I still haven't heard back. There's nothing to be done, right? Like, there's no point in saying, hey, what's going on here? That was the text from my friend who clearly interviewed for a job and was told she'd hear back last week and she hasn't. And I bet that right now you have a similar situation. Maybe it's not a job. Maybe you didn't apply for a job. Maybe it's that you're waiting on something for someone. For whatever. You're waiting on someone and it is driving you crazy. You're thinking, where are they? I don't know. Maybe they just need to approve your pitch or reply to your email or just say yes to hanging out. But suddenly they're hard to reach. And in their absence, you make up stories. Maybe the story is they hate you now, or they are preparing to reject you, or they just lost interest in you and you desperately want to know what they're thinking. So today I will tell you. I can end the suspense and I will help you stop worrying. You know the old breakup cliche, it's not you, it's me. Well, we're going to flip that in this story. It's not you, it's them. Here's what I mean. I first learned this lesson in a non work context. I moved to New York at age 28, and I only knew a few people here, which meant that every friend felt like a lifeline. They were my sanity and my social life. One friend in particular. We became really close. We hung out a lot. Regular dinner or drinks, a lot of texting throughout the week. And then she started to disappear. She'd cancel on me last minute or take longer to reply. Soon we'd gone from hanging out every week to every month and then longer. What was happening? Oh, I had theories. Maybe it was that she found me annoying or exhausting or needy or whatever it was, I believed she was pushing me away. And I didn't want to ask why because I thought that would only make things worse. Right? So I didn't do anything. And time passed. And then we finally hung out. And she said to me, I'm sorry I've been so flaky. And she explained what had happened. It was a lot. Work was overwhelming her. Her anxiety was high. She was fighting with her sister. Most nights she didn't have the energy to do anything. So she just holed up at home doing nothing. And as I listened to this, I realized this whole time I had been making this situation about me. I Assumed that I was the one that was driving her decisions. But that meant that I never thought about her. Because her life was bigger than just me. Of course it was. And the problems were in her life, not mine. And because I was so self centered about this, I never even thought to reach out and ask if she was okay. And the next time someone disappears on me, I thought I am going to vow to remember I don't actually know what's going on in someone else's life. Now I want you to think about the person you are waiting for. Do you know what's going on in their life? No. Well, then here's my advice. You should take a guess. Really, you should take a guess. It's a helpful exercise. You are waiting for someone right now and they are not getting back to you. And if you're worried about this, it's probably because you're making up a story where you are the main character, you are the person that they are avoiding, you are the person they're rejecting. But now step back and ask what else could be happening in their lives for real? Come up with some stories, any stories. Just guess something, anything that sounds plausible, but that does not include you. I'll give you an example. I have been consulting with an entrepreneur that I will call Amanda. Amanda pitched a big project in June and the proposal made its way through multiple layers of review and then languished on the CEO's desk just waiting to be approved or rejected for months. This project, it is a big deal. Amanda woke up every morning thinking, where is the CEO and why won't he reply? Soon she had a story in her head. I heard all about it. The CEO, the story goes, the CEO had said no. And everybody else up and down the chain, everyone else that she interacted with knew it. They were all trying to figure out how to break this terrible news to Amanda. They just don't know how to tell me. Amanda said to me. To which I replied, that is crazy. If it was a no, they'd just tell you. And then I asked Amanda, just as I asked you right now, what else could be happening in the CEO's life. We came up with a list. Again, the only qualifications for this little guessing game is the story must be plausible and Amanda in this case cannot be part of the story. It's plausible. It has nothing to do with Amanda. Or if it's you, it's plausible. It has nothing to do with you. So here were some ideas for what had happened with the CEO. Ready? Number one, he's on vacation. I mean, it was summer after all. Number two, he's preparing for a board meeting. Number three, he's getting a divorce. Number four, he's restructuring the company. Number five, he's a procrastinator. And Amanda is number 86 on his list of things to think about. I mean, this could go on forever. Maybe his dog died. I don't know. But the point is, anything could be happening. Anything, anything that is not related to Amanda could be happening. And eventually, we got our answer. Months and months later, well, we sort of got our answer. The project was approved. It was approved. Ah, finally. Amanda was thrilled. But, I mean, we have no idea what took so long. No idea. Whatever was going on with the CEO. We will never know. And you know what? It doesn't really matter. Whatever the problem was, it was not Amanda. And that's really the only thing that does matter. Amanda was Amanda's top priority, which is fine. Amanda should be Amanda's top priority. But Amanda was not the CEO's top priority, which is also fine. That's life. It's how it goes. So the next time you're feeling this way, take yourself out of the story. The story, the real story, the facts of the story. The story is this. You reached out to someone and that means that you sent them something or you asked for something, and they haven't replied. That's the story. But the story is also. That person has a lot going on. And you are one of many things that they must think about or respond to. They've got their own story with details that you don't know. And hopefully they will say yes to you. But right now, they are doing something else. Just are. They're doing something else. And although they have other priorities, that doesn't mean you are unimportant. You are simply not part of their story right now. And that's okay, because while you wait for them, you can do other things. Because they are not the only person with other things to do. You have other things to do, too. And one day, as you're doing these other things, they will finally make a damn decision, at which point they will re enter your story. And in this way, your story was never on pause at all. You are always living it. And so are they. Occasionally, they intersect, hopefully for the better. And that's how to wait without driving yourself crazy. Help Wanted is a production of Money News Network. Help Wanted is hosted by me, Jason

[A]

Pfeiffer, and me, Nicole Lapin. Our executive producer is Morgan Lavoy. Do you want some help? Email our [e-mail] for the chance to have some of your questions answered on the show and follow us on Instagramoneynews and TikTok MoneyNewsNetwork for exclusive content and to see our beautiful faces. Maybe a little dance?

[B]

Oh, I didn't sign up for that.

[A]

All right, well, talk to you soon.

[C]

It.