How to Take Action When Fear Holds You Back

Summary

Help Wanted: How to Take Action When Fear Holds You Back

Podcast: Help Wanted
Hosts: Nicole Lapin & Jason Feifer
Date: November 27, 2025
Episode Theme:
How to overcome the fear of failure and take action on your ideas by redefining what it means to succeed and embracing experimentation.

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Nicole Lapin leads a solo segment focusing on why fear of failure holds us back from pursuing new ideas—be it a business concept, career change, or personal project—and offers a mindset shift to help listeners take action. She introduces the concept of "shifting the accomplishment" and frames action as an experiment rather than a high-stakes commitment. Drawing from a real-life story of a newsletter reader, Nicole demonstrates how reframing success and failure can empower anyone to move forward, learn, and grow.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Paralyzing Fear of Failure (04:26–05:10)

• Nicole Lapin identifies a common scenario: excitement about an idea, quickly overshadowed by worries like, “What if I fail?” or “What if I waste my time and money?”
  • Quote [04:27]:
    “Maybe it’s a business concept you’re interested in, a career change, a personal curiosity. It excites you, but you keep thinking, what if I fail? … So you do nothing, and the idea stays trapped in your head.” — Nicole Lapin

2. Introducing "Shift the Accomplishment" (05:11–06:18)

• Nicole explains her mindset strategy: instead of defining success by external outcomes, define it by gaining answers and taking action.
  • Quote [05:54]:
    “Caitlin had decided that her accomplishment wasn’t building a successful company. The accomplishment was answering a question that nagged at her. And that really is an accomplishment.” — Nicole Lapin

3. Case Study: The Story of Caitlin and Mendit (05:13–06:31)

• Nicole shares the story of Caitlin Allen, a reader who launched Mendit, a clothing repair service, only to realize the market just wasn’t ready. Instead of regret, Caitlin felt gratitude for having tried.
• Caitlin’s take:
  • Quote (as read by Nicole) [05:35]:
    “I’m closing Mendit.… But at least I gave it my all. And I’m so glad I did, because I would have always wondered.”
• Nicole emphasizes Caitlin’s mindset: action and discovery are themselves accomplishments.

4. Detaching Self-Worth from Outcomes (06:32–07:23)

• Nicole explains that tying your self-worth to outcomes is unfair, since you can’t control results, only your actions.
• The insight: Most people never act on their big ideas, never satisfy curiosities, and always wonder "what if"—while Caitlin now knows.

5. Treating Action as an Experiment (07:24–08:27)

• Nicole revisits powerful advice from behavioral scientist Katie Milkman:

  • Treat new pursuits not as commitments, but as experiments.

  • Scientists don’t expect every experiment to succeed; the goal is simply to learn.

  • Quote [07:54]:
    “When we frame something as an experiment, we remove the pressure. You do the thing, you see what happens. That is success, because you saw what happens.… Every action is worthwhile.” — Nicole Lapin

6. Learning from "Failure" and Building Toward Future Success (08:28–09:35)

• Nicole stresses that not every venture will succeed, but every action brings learning, network growth, and perspective that seeds future accomplishments.
  • Quote [09:14]:
    “We are not the sum of our achievements, we are the sum of our actions. We grow based on what we do, not what we win.” — Nicole Lapin

7. Actionable Takeaway: Just Do (09:36–10:42)

• The core lesson: Redefine accomplishment as simply taking action.
• The more you "do," the more likely you are to discover, learn, and eventually succeed.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On moving past fear:
  “You want to try something, but you’re not doing it.… So you do nothing, and the idea stays trapped in your head.” — Nicole Lapin [04:27]

• On reframing failure:
  “Failure becomes a reflection of our worth. But that’s not fair. We can’t control outcomes; we can only control our own actions.” — Nicole Lapin [06:35]

• On experimenting:
  “When a scientist runs an experiment, do they expect it to succeed? No.… The goal is simply to find out what happens. That is success.” — Nicole Lapin [08:02]

• Defining accomplishment:
  “All we need to do is do.” — Nicole Lapin [10:41]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 04:26 – 05:10: Why fear of failure prevents action
• 05:11 – 06:18: The “Shift the Accomplishment” mindset
• 05:13 – 06:31: Caitlin Allen’s story and the real value of “trying”
• 06:32 – 07:23: Detaching self-worth from outcomes
• 07:24 – 08:27: Treat actions as experiments, not lifelong commitments
• 08:28 – 09:35: Learning and growth from so-called failures
• 09:36 – 10:42: “Just Do”—the ultimate actionable takeaway

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Episode Tone

• Friendly, encouraging, and practical. Nicole uses real listener stories and actionable advice in a positive, conversational style.

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Final Takeaway

Nicole empowers listeners to take action, redefine accomplishment, and treat new pursuits as experiments rather than pass-fail tests. The episode is a pep talk for anyone paralyzed by fear of failure—urging them to try, learn, and keep moving forward.

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For More Advice

Nicole shares her “One Thing Better” newsletter at onethingbetter.email, offering weekly ways to build a satisfying career or business.

Transcript

[Nicole Lapin]

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[Jason Pfeiffer]

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[Jason Pfeiffer]

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[Nicole Lapin]

That's actually happened to me before. I missed a call from a partner I was working on and I've tried calling them back three times since and I can't reach them.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

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[Nicole Lapin]

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[Jason Pfeiffer]

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[Nicole Lapin]

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[Jason Pfeiffer]

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[Nicole Lapin]

Makes your work work for you.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

I'm Jason Pfeiffer, Editor in chief of.

[Nicole Lapin]

Entrepreneur Magazine, and I'm money expert Nicole Lapin. On Tuesdays, Jason and I answer the helpline and help callers solve their work problems.

And on Thursdays, I give you one way to improve your work and build a career or company you love.

And it starts now.

You want to try something, but you're not doing it. Maybe it's a business concept you're interested in, a career change, a personal curiosity. It excites you, but you keep thinking, what if I fail? What if I waste my time and money? So you do nothing and the idea stays trapped in your head. Today I'm going to help you move forward with a powerful strategy. I call it Shift the Accomplishment. It's a way of rethinking what success looks like, helping you try new things and being okay if they don't work out. But first, let me tell you about the person who inspired this idea. She tried something big, watched it fail, and emerged feeling surprisingly grateful. I just received an email from Caitlin Allen. She is a reader of my newsletter, which is called One Thing Better. I'll tell you about it later. Anyway, she had Some bad news. Caitlin had been building a company called Mendit, which helped people find specialists to mend and repair clothing. In other words, let's say that instead of throwing out that dress because it got a tear, you can just bring it to somebody pretty easily and get it fixed. And then you don't have to replace the dress and it doesn't have to go in the garbage. The idea was to reduce waste and. And save people money. Sounds really great. Sounds like a thing people say they want, but it didn't work out. I am closing Mendit. She told me by email. She wrote, the purported demand for innovation in the fashion apparel industry is just not there in a meaningful way. At least not for repair. But at least I gave it my all. And I'm so glad I did, because I would have always wondered. I love that last part of her email. Caitlin was sad, but she wasn't bitter or regretful. She was grateful. So why? Well, let's break it down, because this is really important. When we start something new, we often treat the outcome as validation. Our thinking goes like this. If it succeeds, then we're smart and the idea was worth doing. If it fails, then we were foolish and we wasted our time. Therefore, if our idea fails, we fail. In that way, failure becomes a reflection of our work worth. But that's not fair. We can't control outcomes. We can only control our own actions. That's why Caitlin's mindset shift was so important. It looks like this Caitlin had decided that her accomplishment wasn't building a successful company. The accomplishment was answering a question that nagged at her. And that really is an accomplishment. Think about that. Most people never act on their big idea. They never pursue a large desire. They never satisfy an curiosity. They never know. But Caitlin did. And now she knows. And knowing was better than wondering. That is absolutely an accomplishment. It's also a powerful and freeing way to think, because it lowers pressure, the stakes reduce. Accomplishment becomes firmly within our control because it is anchored to things that we can actually do. And this tracks with one of my favorite pieces of advice, which I shared in the podcast in September. But I'm going to tell you again because it's so valuable. I was talking to behavioral scientist Katie Milkman, who explained how to get unstuck when making a hard decision. Her answer was simple and beautiful. She said, treat it like an experiment. We often avoid new things because we feel like they're commitments. We think, if I don't like this, then I'll be stuck with it for a long time. So we Never try it at all. But when we frame something as an experiment, instead, we remove the pressure. Consider it. When a scientist runs an experiment, do they expect it to succeed? No, they don't. The goal is simply to find out what happens. That's all an experiment is. You do the thing, you see what happens. That is success. Because you saw what happens. And if those are the stakes, then the path forward becomes clearer. You are not committing to a new life when you try something new. You're just testing a hypothesis. You're not risking everything on one outcome that you're pursuing. You're gathering data. Every action is worthwhile. When Caitlin's company didn't work out, it didn't mean that she was a bad entrepreneur. It meant that the market wasn't ready for her solution or the timing wasn't right or the business model needed adjustment or whatever. That's not a personal failure. That is just market feedback. And that feedback is incredibly valuable. Caitlin now knows more about the industry than she did before. She built a network that respects her. Years from now, she will likely look back at Mendit as the moment that she learned something critical, which informed the great thing that she does next. In other words, Caitlin shifted the accomplishment and set up future accomplishments as well. That's because we are not the sum of our achievements. We are the sum of our actions. We grow based on what we do, not based on what we win. So all you need to do is do. Now, I had mentioned my newsletter a minute ago. That thing that you just heard that I just said to you, that came from my newsletter. My newsletter is called One Thing Better each week. One way to be more successful and satisfied. Build a career or company that you love. You can get it at one thing better.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Email.

[Nicole Lapin]

That is a web address. Plug it into a browser, and if you sign up, then. Well, then you'll get my email. You'll get all this great, valuable insight and advice from me weekly. I do read this newsletter on the podcast every Thursday. That's what you're hearing right now. But if you want to get it early, along with other great, valuable things that I put in that newsletter and to easily respond to me, then just sign up One thing better Email or don't. And if you do sign up, then I will consider it an accomplishment. And if you don't, well, you know what? I'm still making a great newsletter. And that's an accomplishment, too, because all we need to do is do.

[Jason Pfeiffer]

Help Wanted is a production of Money News Network. Help Wanted is hosted by me, Jason PFEIFFER.

[Nicole Lapin]

And me, Nicole Lapman. Our executive producer is Morgan Lavoie. You want some help? Email our [e-mail] for the chance to have some of your questions answered on the show. And follow us on Instagramoney News and TikTokoneyNewsNetwork for exclusive content and to see our beautiful faces. Maybe a little dance?

Oh, I didn't sign up for that.

All right, well, talk to you soon.

[Sam]

Sam.