Help Wanted: How to Take Action When Fear Holds You Back

Podcast: Help Wanted
Hosts: Nicole Lapin & Jason Feifer
Date: November 27, 2025
Episode Theme:
How to overcome the fear of failure and take action on your ideas by redefining what it means to succeed and embracing experimentation.

Episode Overview

In this episode, Nicole Lapin leads a solo segment focusing on why fear of failure holds us back from pursuing new ideas—be it a business concept, career change, or personal project—and offers a mindset shift to help listeners take action. She introduces the concept of "shifting the accomplishment" and frames action as an experiment rather than a high-stakes commitment. Drawing from a real-life story of a newsletter reader, Nicole demonstrates how reframing success and failure can empower anyone to move forward, learn, and grow.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Paralyzing Fear of Failure (04:26–05:10)

• Nicole Lapin identifies a common scenario: excitement about an idea, quickly overshadowed by worries like, “What if I fail?” or “What if I waste my time and money?”
  • Quote [04:27]:
    “Maybe it’s a business concept you’re interested in, a career change, a personal curiosity. It excites you, but you keep thinking, what if I fail? … So you do nothing, and the idea stays trapped in your head.” — Nicole Lapin

2. Introducing "Shift the Accomplishment" (05:11–06:18)

• Nicole explains her mindset strategy: instead of defining success by external outcomes, define it by gaining answers and taking action.
  • Quote [05:54]:
    “Caitlin had decided that her accomplishment wasn’t building a successful company. The accomplishment was answering a question that nagged at her. And that really is an accomplishment.” — Nicole Lapin

3. Case Study: The Story of Caitlin and Mendit (05:13–06:31)

• Nicole shares the story of Caitlin Allen, a reader who launched Mendit, a clothing repair service, only to realize the market just wasn’t ready. Instead of regret, Caitlin felt gratitude for having tried.
• Caitlin’s take:
  • Quote (as read by Nicole) [05:35]:
    “I’m closing Mendit.… But at least I gave it my all. And I’m so glad I did, because I would have always wondered.”
• Nicole emphasizes Caitlin’s mindset: action and discovery are themselves accomplishments.

4. Detaching Self-Worth from Outcomes (06:32–07:23)

• Nicole explains that tying your self-worth to outcomes is unfair, since you can’t control results, only your actions.
• The insight: Most people never act on their big ideas, never satisfy curiosities, and always wonder "what if"—while Caitlin now knows.

5. Treating Action as an Experiment (07:24–08:27)

• Nicole revisits powerful advice from behavioral scientist Katie Milkman:

  • Treat new pursuits not as commitments, but as experiments.

  • Scientists don’t expect every experiment to succeed; the goal is simply to learn.

  • Quote [07:54]:
    “When we frame something as an experiment, we remove the pressure. You do the thing, you see what happens. That is success, because you saw what happens.… Every action is worthwhile.” — Nicole Lapin

6. Learning from "Failure" and Building Toward Future Success (08:28–09:35)

• Nicole stresses that not every venture will succeed, but every action brings learning, network growth, and perspective that seeds future accomplishments.
  • Quote [09:14]:
    “We are not the sum of our achievements, we are the sum of our actions. We grow based on what we do, not what we win.” — Nicole Lapin

7. Actionable Takeaway: Just Do (09:36–10:42)

• The core lesson: Redefine accomplishment as simply taking action.
• The more you "do," the more likely you are to discover, learn, and eventually succeed.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On moving past fear:
  “You want to try something, but you’re not doing it.… So you do nothing, and the idea stays trapped in your head.” — Nicole Lapin [04:27]

• On reframing failure:
  “Failure becomes a reflection of our worth. But that’s not fair. We can’t control outcomes; we can only control our own actions.” — Nicole Lapin [06:35]

• On experimenting:
  “When a scientist runs an experiment, do they expect it to succeed? No.… The goal is simply to find out what happens. That is success.” — Nicole Lapin [08:02]

• Defining accomplishment:
  “All we need to do is do.” — Nicole Lapin [10:41]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 04:26 – 05:10: Why fear of failure prevents action
• 05:11 – 06:18: The “Shift the Accomplishment” mindset
• 05:13 – 06:31: Caitlin Allen’s story and the real value of “trying”
• 06:32 – 07:23: Detaching self-worth from outcomes
• 07:24 – 08:27: Treat actions as experiments, not lifelong commitments
• 08:28 – 09:35: Learning and growth from so-called failures
• 09:36 – 10:42: “Just Do”—the ultimate actionable takeaway

Episode Tone

• Friendly, encouraging, and practical. Nicole uses real listener stories and actionable advice in a positive, conversational style.

Final Takeaway

Nicole empowers listeners to take action, redefine accomplishment, and treat new pursuits as experiments rather than pass-fail tests. The episode is a pep talk for anyone paralyzed by fear of failure—urging them to try, learn, and keep moving forward.

For More Advice

Nicole shares her “One Thing Better” newsletter at onethingbetter.email, offering weekly ways to build a satisfying career or business.