Help Wanted: "I Don't Want To Be the CEO of My Home Anymore. Help!"
Release Date: May 27, 2025
Host/Author: Money News Network
Hosts: Jason Feifer (Editor-in-Chief of Entrepreneur magazine) and Nicole Lapin (Money Expert)
Introduction
In the May 27, 2025 episode of Help Wanted, hosts Jason Feifer and Nicole Lapin delve into the intricate challenges of balancing parenting with professional responsibilities. The episode, titled "I Don't Want To Be the CEO of My Home Anymore. Help!", addresses the overwhelming nature of managing a household while maintaining a career, particularly from the perspective of a parent feeling stretched too thin.
The Relentless Nature of Parenting
Nicole Lapin opens the discussion by expressing her exhaustion with parenting, stating, "I'm just so tired. I'm just so tired." (01:00). This sets the tone for a candid conversation about the unrelenting demands of raising children alongside professional obligations.
The "CEO of the Household" Paradigm
The conversation quickly transitions to the metaphor of being the "CEO of the household." Nicole likens managing a home to running a business, highlighting the complexity and constant demand for attention:
"Running a household also hard, but, like, different hard." (02:04).
She reflects on the necessity of outsourcing tasks to maintain balance, only to face setbacks such as losing outsourced help due to unforeseen circumstances, exemplified by a house fire that forced them into an Airbnb.
Personal Experiences: Maternity Leave and Challenges
Nicole recounts her maternity leave, which was fraught with unexpected challenges:
"Maternity leave did not go as planned because you had the house fire and you've had to deal with that along with everything else." (04:23).
This incident underscores the unpredictable nature of parenting and how external factors can exacerbate existing stressors.
Identity Shifts Post-Parenting
A significant portion of the discussion centers on the identity shifts that occur after becoming a parent. Nicole shares her struggle with maintaining her sense of self:
"I don't know what my identity is. I'm still trying to just get through the day." (06:16).
Jason complements this by sharing a reflection inspired by his late grandmother's words, illustrating the dissonance between self-perception and external roles:
"I feel like me, the guy who used to go to ska shows in the 90s, who now somehow is dealing with this kid who's screaming." (11:20).
The Emotional Bond vs. Responsibilities
Despite the challenges, both hosts acknowledge the deep emotional bond with their child. Nicole describes the unique connection:
"I feel so bonded to this little baby mush. But I also feel like another big job that I have." (07:28).
This duality captures the essence of parenting as both rewarding and demanding.
Managing Cognitive Load
The episode delves into the concept of cognitive load and cognitive offloading—strategies to manage mental energy amidst the chaos of parenting and work:
"Cognitive offloading is writing something down so you don't have to remember." (12:18).
Nicole expands on this by explaining the neuroplastic changes in the brain during motherhood, emphasizing that while cognitive load is real, understanding and managing it is crucial.
Division of Labor and Gender Roles
A critical issue discussed is the traditional division of labor in parenting, where the mother often bears the brunt of childcare responsibilities. Nicole highlights the societal expectations that perpetuate this imbalance:
"It's usually the mom that deals with the children. That's just how it usually goes." (28:39).
The hosts explore the need for a more equitable distribution of tasks to alleviate stress and prevent burnout.
Challenges with Sitters and Communication
The conversation shifts to the dynamics of managing external help, such as sitters. Nicole and Jason share their frustrations with sitters defaulting to consulting Nicole for childcare-related questions, thereby reinforcing the unequal division of labor. Nicole admits struggling with clear communication:
"I need to get better at clear communication." (24:09).
Jill Moshe, the co-host, suggests strategies like setting specific guidelines for sitters to approach both parents equally, thereby fostering a more balanced interaction.
Proposed Solutions and Strategies
To address these challenges, the hosts propose several solutions:
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Shared Communication Threads: Establishing group text threads that include both parents and all relevant parties to ensure transparency and shared responsibility.
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Delegated Responsibilities: Clearly defining and delegating tasks to each parent to prevent overlap and reduce individual burden.
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Formal Conversations with Sitters: Having structured discussions with sitters to set expectations and roles, ensuring they feel comfortable approaching either parent as needed.
Jason emphasizes the importance of both parents being actively involved in these discussions to create a supportive and balanced household environment.
Anecdotes from Recording
During the episode, an unexpected interruption occurs when Jason has to attend to their six-year-old son's urgent need, showcasing the real-time challenges of managing parenting while recording a podcast. This moment adds authenticity and relatability to the discussion, illustrating the unpredictability of balancing work and home life.
Conclusion: Ongoing Struggles and Acceptance
The episode concludes with an acknowledgment that while solutions exist, implementing them requires continuous effort and adaptation. Both hosts agree that navigating the complexities of parenting alongside professional responsibilities is an ongoing journey, fraught with both challenges and rewards.
Notable Quotes:
- Nicole Lapin: "I'm just so tired. I'm just so tired." (01:00)
- Nicole Lapin: "Running a household also hard, but, like, different hard." (02:04)
- Jason Feifer: "I feel like me, the guy who used to go to ska shows in the 90s, who now somehow is dealing with this kid who's screaming." (11:20)
- Nicole Lapin: "I need to get better at clear communication." (24:09)
Timestamp References:
- 01:00 - Nicole expresses her exhaustion with parenting.
- 02:04 - Discussion on running a household like a business.
- 04:23 - Challenges faced during maternity leave.
- 06:16 - Nicole discusses identity loss post-children.
- 07:28 - The emotional bond with their child vs. responsibilities.
- 11:20 - Jason reflects on identity shifts using his grandmother's words.
- 12:18 - Introduction to cognitive offloading.
- 24:09 - Nicole admits struggle with communicating with sitters.
- 28:39 - Discussion on traditional division of labor in parenting.
For more insights and solutions to your work-related challenges, email helpline@moneynewsnetwork.com for a chance to have your questions featured on the show. Follow Help Wanted on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive content and updates.