Podcast Summary: Help Wanted – "I Hate Something Posted About Me Online— Can I Ask For It To Be Taken Down? Help!"

Date: September 16, 2025
Hosts: Jason Feifer (Editor in Chief, Entrepreneur magazine) & Nicole Lapin (Money expert, author)
Episode Theme:
The episode explores questions surrounding online reputation management: can you get something about you removed from the Internet, how newsrooms respond to such requests, and the personal impact of internet history and search results on self-image, career, and mental health.

Main Discussion: Can You Get Content About Yourself Removed Online?

[03:05] Nicole Lapin: Introduces the main work-question: "Should we be scared about what's on the Internet? Is it really there forever?" She asks Jason if people ever succeed in having articles about themselves removed.

Key Insights & Takeaways

• Media Outlets’ Approach Varies

  • “The more you think of yourself as news, the more you hew to this industry standard of, ‘We are the New York Times, we are the record of information, then you cannot alter that.’ ...And the less you think of yourself as news, the more it doesn't really matter.”
    — Jason Feifer [03:32]
  • Jason explains there’s no universal rule—some newsrooms (especially large, “paper of record” types) rarely ever take down or alter content, while others, especially smaller or less formal outlets, may accommodate personal requests.

• Personal vs. Legal Approaches

  • Jason is more likely to respond positively to heartfelt, personal requests, rather than those sent through lawyers.

    "If it's a publicist reaching out because some dumbass publicist thing, then I don't do it... But if it's like... my life has just radically changed, and it would just mean the world to me for this thing to just go away... Whatever, I'll just take it down. Who cares?"
    — Jason Feifer [03:32]

  • Contact from lawyers is usually counterproductive in Jason’s eyes:

    “I learned...lawyers are assholes and judges are even larger assholes, and the court doesn’t give a fuck about you... my blood boils whenever I hear from a lawyer.”
    — Jason Feifer [06:06]

• Changing Attitudes

  • There’s been a societal shift:

    "We used to think of the Internet as a permanent record. I think that everybody at this point now knows — if not are themselves a person who has stuff floating around the Internet they really don’t want others to see. And that it’s not fair to have a permanent record of yourself across time.“
    — Jason Feifer [08:05]

• Newsroom Decision Breakdown

  • What kinds of requests succeed?
    • Genuine, personal stories with tangible life impact are given more weight.
    • Superficial or SEO-driven requests (e.g., 'My company changed name, can you update all articles?') usually aren’t accommodated because this would create chaos and overwhelming precedent.

    "If it's impacting your life, then I think I should be human."
    — Jason Feifer [11:20]

Sample Real-Life Request

[13:22] Jason Feifer: Reads out a real request from a former guest writer asking to have her byline removed after changing jobs.

• Jason did not remove her byline (doing so would set an unmanageable precedent) but did update her bio to remove references to her old employer—despite knowing even that is not scalable in the long run.

The Reality of Reputation Management Services

[07:16] Nicole Lapin: Notes an uptick in services promising to remove unflattering content online.

• Most “Reputation Management” is SEO
  • These services typically try to push negative content lower in search results; they rarely succeed in actually removing content.
  • Jason adds these services are "just about, like, managing the Google search on your name. But Google searches are down." [07:16]
• AI & Search Evolution
  • Lapin wonders about the next frontier: "What about smushing down ChatGPT results?" [08:00]
  • Jason predicts AI search reputation management will become its own challenge as these systems start being a primary info source.

Emotional Impact of Online Presence

[18:58] Nicole Lapin: Shares her "traumatic relationship" with Googling herself, leading to compulsion, embarrassment, and insecurity.

• "I remember, in my 20s when I started showing up on the Internet, I would just be so obsessive compulsive about what was on there." [19:17]

• She eventually stopped trying to micromanage her image, noting:

  "I stopped, probably 10 years ago at this point, like really stepping away from trying to control any narrative." [22:02]

• Impact of Images and Social Labels

  • Nicole’s main anxiety comes from old photos or information not directly under her control.

    "People inevitably, like, take horrible screenshots when I used to be on the news, and I would just feel like, oh, this is the thing that people are seeing as a representation of me. Like, I hate this." [20:33]

  • Google Alert tips: She now filters alerts into a separate folder to stay sane.

Association, Family Legacies, and Unfair Guilt

• Inherited Stigma:

  • Lapin describes years grappling with guilt by association (parents’ tabloid coverage, ex-relationships) and how this colors how she sees her public footprint.

    "It’s just taken me so long to come to terms with the idea that somebody else that I’m associated with...is like bestowed on me." [23:02]

  • Shares a story about a lost book deal due to her father's history, rejected by a TV exec:

    “He’s like, oh, no, no, no, no, we can’t have our anchors associated with drugs.” [26:01]

• Trying to Control the Uncontrollable

  • Jason analyzes Nicole’s journey: “There was probably a moment in which as you got older, you said to yourself, I am coming from an uncontrollable place. I need to control the things around me… The problem is that the world does not really accommodate that very well.” [28:44]

The Psychological Evolution: Letting Go

• Learning What Matters

  • Nicole says she’s worked towards letting go, accepting most people just "don't care" about your personal details; people are too busy with their own lives.

    “I think that I’ve recently tried to come to terms with this idea that, like, people really just don’t care. They’re just, like, so consumed with their own lives.”
    — Nicole Lapin [33:24]

• Public Persona vs. Self

  • Jason maintains detachment by viewing “Jason Feifer” online as a character, not his real self:

    "The version of Jason Feifer the public sees and consumes is just a character... Even when I see people on LinkedIn comment on something that I said, it doesn’t actually feel that good because it doesn’t feel like I said it.” [31:24]

Parenting, Privacy, and What You Can Control

• Worries About Passing on Anxieties
  • Nicole shares worries that her daughter could inherit her digital anxiety (“mirroring”), but Jason reassures her that children are their own people—a mishmash of influences and biology, not just parental modeling.

    "She will not be a carbon copy of you... She will be a mishmash of you and Jared and, like, her friends and what she saw on TV. And then also, just like, whatever is in her biologically, that will just come out on its own."
    — Jason Feifer [36:01]

• On Responsibility as Parents:

  "Don’t put all the responsibility for how your child will just develop as a person on you. They will absorb some things from you. They will also just create things by themselves."
  — Jason Feifer [35:04]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Journalist Precedent:

  “If somebody reaches out to me and they just tell me a personal story... this is coming up in searches, and it’s really hard because of XYZ reason... I just took the quote out. Story still stands. Literally nobody’s going to notice old stories online...”
  — Jason Feifer [09:40]

• On The Futility of Control (and Acceptance):

  "At some point you just have to realize that actually the game is unwinnable, but also the game doesn’t matter as much as you thought. The things that actually matter are much smaller, and that those things are controllable.”
  — Jason Feifer [30:47]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:05 — Main question: Can you get things taken down online?
• 03:32 – 06:29 — Jason’s newsroom perspectives, legal requests, and personal policies.
• 07:16 – 09:29 — Reputation management companies, pushing down search results, and the coming AI challenge.
• 11:42 – 16:36 — Case study: Real life byline removal request; Jason’s practical newsroom decision-making.
• 18:58 – 22:55 — Nicole discusses the emotional toll of Googling yourself, trying to control online narratives.
• 23:02 – 28:44 — Deeper conversation about inherited digital stigma, family history, and controlling narratives.
• 31:24 – 36:01 — Detachment strategies, public persona, and mental health.
• 33:24 – 36:46 — Parenting, protecting kids, mirroring anxieties, and letting go of perfection.

Episode Tone & Closing

Open, honest, and personal. Both hosts are candid about their insecurities and philosophy around online identity, blending practical, industry-level advice with emotional, lived experience.
The episode ends on a cliffhanger, promising more discussion soon about sharing children’s identities online.

If you’re struggling with unwanted content online:

• Direct, human, polite personal appeals get the best response—especially if the post is causing tangible harm.
• Big outlets almost never delete content; smaller ones might.
• Legal threats typically harden opposition.
• Focus on controlling what you can, and accept that you can’t (and shouldn’t) control everything others say or do on the Internet.