Help Wanted – “I Think My Colleague Hates Me. Help!”

Podcast by Money News Network
Hosts: Jason Feifer and Nicole Lapin
Release Date: February 17, 2026

Episode Overview

In this engaging and relatable episode, Jason Feifer (Editor in Chief, Entrepreneur) and Nicole Lapin (Money Expert) explore the workplace anxieties and misunderstandings that arise from miscommunication. Using a real (and previously unspoken) incident from their own working relationship as a case study, the hosts reflect on the emotional toll of perceived conflict, the challenge of mixing friendship with professionalism, and the power of clear, empathetic communication. Their candid conversation illustrates how fears about colleagues’ opinions can spiral into unnecessary distress—and how most of that worry exists only in our own heads.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Reflection: Have We Ever Been in a Fight?

• Nicole initiates a candid query about whether Jason has ever been upset with her ([03:09-03:20]).
• Nicole recalls feeling Jason was "quite mad" at her during a book launch, while Jason insists he doesn’t remember it at all.
• Quote:
  • Nicole: “Have we ever been in a fight, in your opinion?” ([03:15])
  • Jason: “I don’t think so, no.” ([03:19])

2. The Self-Plagiarism Misunderstanding

• Nicole recounts a 2019 scenario when she submitted book excerpts for Entrepreneur.com, which led to concerns about self-plagiarism ([03:34-08:07]).
• Jason’s forwarded emails to Nicole, containing terms like “plagiarizing herself,” sparked deep anxiety for Nicole, triggering fears of professional disgrace.
• Nicole found the tone, especially the “Thanks!” and exclamation points, reminiscent of past passive-aggressiveness in the workplace ([04:22]).
• Quote:
  • Nicole: “I just have this visceral memory that you were going to hate me forever because I did something that I didn’t know was wrong, but it seemed to really anger you.” ([04:19])
• Nicole’s internal team emails show her confusion and stress about plagiarism accusations, especially as the work was her own ([07:02-08:07]).

3. When Emotional Realities Diverge

• Jason’s Perspective: He genuinely doesn’t recall any frustration, underscoring how often one party’s emotional turmoil contrasts with the other’s nonchalance ([08:07-09:01]).
• Quote:
  • Jason: “We probably all carry around some moment that we think was a big deal and that grew into an even bigger deal in our heads and that the other person, if they were even aware of it, had a totally different understanding of it.” ([08:17])

4. Navigating Work and Friendship

• Jason discusses the importance—and the challenge—of separating professional feedback from personal relationship ([16:25-17:06]).
• He admits that earlier in his career, he wasn't as mindful about explicitly communicating “friend vs. work” boundaries when problems arose.
• Quote:
  • Jason: “If you are going to mix friendship and work...the thing that’s more important always gets protected. To me, the friendship is always the thing that’s more important.” ([16:49])

5. Language, Tone & Exclamation Points

• The hosts reflect on how easily digital communication can be misread—Nicole interpreted Jason’s exclamation marks as “passive-aggressive,” while Jason thought omitting them would seem unfriendly ([18:44-20:30]).
• Jason emphasizes the need for over-communication and explicitness, especially in sensitive contexts.
• Quote:
  • Jason: “You can’t over communicate something...a extra moment of communication could have avoided the whole damn thing in the first place.” ([19:55-20:30])

6. The Emotional Aftermath & Lessons Learned

• Nicole admits to turning the incident over and over in her mind, while Jason barely noticed ([20:30-21:14]).
• Quote:
  • Nicole: “We suffer so much more in our imaginations than in reality.” ([20:54])

7. Other Anxieties: The “Jesus” Story

• Jason shares his own, more recent small anxiety: swearing in front of a religious friend and worrying after the fact ([21:34-23:27]).
• They discuss the difference between worrying cycles: Nicole’s tendency to dwell versus Jason’s “move on” attitude.

8. The Value of a Stable Nervous System

• Nicole references a recent viral clip of OpenAI’s Sam Altman:
  • “Business is literally just bad things happening to you over and over and over again...what it takes to be a great entrepreneur is...determination, but more importantly a stable nervous system.” ([23:35-24:41])
• Jason connects this to advice from NBA All-Star Chris Bosh—the importance of keeping emotional highs and lows even, a skill Nicole and he both agree is essential in work and in life ([24:41-26:29]).
• Quote:
  • Jason: “The highs were too high and the lows were too low...the reason that the Heat came back and won it the next year was because they had calibrated to that. And the highs were not as high and the lows were not as low...” ([25:05])

9. Universal Permission to Let Go

• Jason offers listeners a “free pass” to move on from anxieties about past misunderstandings, as long as there’s no obvious rupture ([26:27-26:46]).
• Quote:
  • Jason: “If you...are worried that something that you did a long time ago really upset a person and you have literally any evidence to the contrary...then so should you. I give you a free pass, pull it out of your wallet, wave it around. The whole thing is done.” ([26:29-26:46])
• Nicole humorously swears off self-plagiarism forever: “Never fucking never again.” ([26:46])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I was so scared. I was like, first of all, I’m plagiarizing. That sounds like hell to me.” — Nicole ([07:00])
• “Wouldn’t it be great if...you went to the person who you had that experience with and just say, do you remember this?...we would drop a lot of emotional weight.” — Jason ([08:17])
• “We suffer so much more in our imaginations than in reality.” — Nicole ([20:54])
• “Business is literally just bad things happening to you over and over and over again...what it takes to be a great entrepreneur is...determination, but more importantly a stable nervous system.” — Nicole quoting Sam Altman ([23:42])
• “The highs will no longer be high. The lows will no longer be low.” — Jason ([26:42])
• “Never fucking never again.” — Nicole’s vow on self-plagiarizing ([26:46])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:09-04:33] – Nicole and Jason discuss whether they’ve ever been in a fight.
• [04:34-08:07] – Nicole recounts the self-plagiarism episode and her internal emotional spiral.
• [08:07-09:01] – Jason reflects on the mismatch of memory and emotional impact.
• [16:25-17:06] – The challenge of mixing friendship and work.
• [18:44-20:30] – Exclamation marks and the risk of misreading tone in digital communication.
• [20:30-21:14] – Letting go of worries that only exist in your own mind.
• [21:34-23:27] – Jason’s “Jesus” slip—small anxieties we carry needlessly.
• [23:35-24:41] – Sam Altman's advice: develop a stable nervous system for entrepreneurship.
• [24:41-26:29] – Chris Bosh’s experience: emotional steadiness after failure.
• [26:27-26:46] – Jason’s “free pass” to let go of old imagined offenses.
• [26:46] – Nicole’s comedic pledge to never self-plagiarize again.

TL;DR: Actionable Takeaways

• Miscommunications are inevitable, but most anxieties are much bigger in our own minds.
• Clear, explicit communication is crucial—especially via email, where tone is elusive.
• When work and friendship intersect, extra care is needed to separate criticism/policy from personal feelings.
• Let yourself move on: if a relationship is intact, old “offenses” likely weren’t a big deal.
• Steady your emotional highs and lows, both for entrepreneurial resilience and day-to-day work sanity.

This episode offers both catharsis and practical wisdom for anyone haunted by workplace worries—reminding us that open conversation lightens the heaviest (often imagined) emotional loads.