Podcast Summary: Help Wanted

Episode: "Is Having a 'Work Wife' Crossing a Line? Help!"
Date: October 28, 2025
Hosts: Jason Feifer (Entrepreneur Magazine Editor-in-Chief), Nicole Lapin (Money Expert)
Producer: Morgan Lavoy
Special Guest: Jared (Nicole’s real husband)

Episode Overview

In this episode, Jason, Nicole, and producer Morgan bravely examine a workplace cultural phenomenon: the "work wife/work husband" relationship. Kicking off with a Reddit "Am I the Asshole?" scenario, the hosts ask: Is calling someone your "work wife" harmless, or can it cross boundaries—especially when spouses and power dynamics are involved? The episode weaves together personal anecdotes, relationship dynamics, and real listener questions to explore appropriateness, trust, and where lines should be drawn at work.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining the "Work Wife/Husband" Dynamic

• Personal Usage:
  • Nicole and Jason openly refer to each other as work wife/husband.
  • Jason shares that he took a year to embrace the term—“Nicole had to use the term work husband to me for probably a solid year before I embraced it” (04:00, Jason).
  • The term signals a deep, trusted, and platonic workplace partnership.
• Quote:
  • Nicole: "You're just a weirdo. That's the explanation. ...but that's who you are, and I love you just the same." (04:25, Nicole)

2. The Reddit Dilemma (05:14 - 07:28)

• Scenario Summary:
  • A wife describes visiting her husband's office; a young female employee jokingly refers to him as her "work husband" in a giggly tone.
  • The wife expresses discomfort; soon after, the employee is fired after, reportedly, multiple complaints and inappropriate remarks.
• Hosts' Analysis:
  • Verdict: The wife is not the asshole; the problem lies in inappropriate boundaries, not in the mere use of the "work spouse" label.
  • Jason emphasizes, “That would say to anybody, what the fuck is going on at this company? ...That creates all sorts of crazy rumors.” (08:28, Jason).

3. Boundaries, Power, and Workplace Appropriateness

• Power Dynamics Matter:
  • The problematic age and authority gap (40s manager vs. 23-year-old mentee) makes the term’s use concerning.
  • Such terms should be reserved for equal/peer relationships to avoid misunderstandings or suggest impropriety.
  • Quote (Jared): "If I called my intern my work wife, that would be a red flag." (19:23, Jared)
• Platonic vs. Romantic/Ambiguous
  • Nicole: “There is no actual pouty, romantic undertone allowed in the moniker to be clear.” (10:22, Nicole)

4. How Do Real Partners Feel? (14:43 - 17:44)

• Nicole & Jason’s Spouses Discuss
  • Jared (Nicole's actual husband) joins and shares:
    • “I feel nothing. Like I have no emotion about it...I have complete trust.” (15:30, Jared)
  • Jason’s wife, Jen, is also described as unconcerned and "very relaxed about all that kind of stuff."
  • The consensus: Partners secure in their relationships don’t mind the label.
  • Nicole: "If somebody has a problem with the term work wife or work husband, there's some other problem going on." (17:19, Nicole)
  • Emphasis on needing trust and security in both relationships.

5. Requirements for a Healthy 'Work Spouse' Relationship (17:44 - 21:11)

• Mutual Trust, Platonic Bond:
  • Should occur between equals, not between manager and subordinate or mentee.
  • Important the “real spouse” is aware and comfortable.
  • Jared: “‘Work wife’ is really just your trusted partner you’re simpatico with...it’s a fun way to frame a meaningful relationship.” (16:26, Jared)
• Context & Consent Matter:
  • Nicole mentions vetting the dynamic, especially being sure the real partner is “chill.”
  • Subconsciously, it’s important not to put anyone in a weird position (Nicole, 20:55).

6. What Does the “Work Wife/Husband” Relationship Signify? (21:22 - 24:20)

• Jason's Analogy:
  • Being in the “foxhole” together at work—having someone you trust and rely on through work challenges.
  • Quote: “...you want to have someone you like being in the foxhole with.” (22:22, Jason)
  • Sometimes, the “work wife” better understands work-specific problems than the actual spouse.

7. What Can Go Wrong? When the “Work Wife” Joke Isn’t a Joke

• Listener Update: The Husband’s Side (27:29 - 28:46)
  • In response to public curiosity, the original Reddit poster’s husband explains the situation escalated: the employee admitted making advances in an HR meeting and was a persistent problem.
  • “She felt safe and secure and thought I’d be the perfect man for her, that my wife wasn’t good enough for me, etc.” (28:09, Morgan reading husband's update)
• Takeaway:
  • The real issue wasn’t the term, but genuinely inappropriate—and documented—behavior.

8. Final Takeaways (Throughout)

• If “work spouse” culture exists, make sure it’s consensual, platonic, and between equals.
• The label can be positive—signifying trust and mutual support.
• Problems rarely come from the term itself, but from pre-existing relationship insecurities, power misuses, or lack of clear boundaries.
• Nicole: “There is negative, 0.0 negative, however negative you can get, like, of anything but platonic vibe here with all of us.” (25:44, Nicole)
• Sometimes, strong reactions to these labels reveal insecurities in the actual marriage rather than workplace boundaries.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Boundaries:
  • Jason: “If a random person walks into the office and that is how she is referring to a 40 year old man in the office, there are problems.” (08:28)
• On Relationship Security:
  • Nicole: “I think generally people that have a problem with it have some other issues in their relationship.” (14:43)
• On Foxhole Analogy:
  • Jason: “it’s someone you like being in a foxhole with.” (22:22)
• On Platonic Clarity:
  • Nicole: “There is no actual pouty, romantic undertone allowed in the moniker to be clear.” (10:22)
• On the Real Reddit Employee:
  • “She confirmed that she said those remarks and made some more passes saying she felt safe and secure and thought I’d be the perfect man for her, that my wife wasn’t good enough for me, et cetera.” (28:09)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:15 — Episode Topic Intro (Morgan asks about "work wife/husband" dynamic)
• 05:14 — Reddit “Am I the Asshole?” Scenario Explained
• 08:28 — Jason’s Analysis of Boundaries and Office Behavior
• 14:43 — Discussion on Relationship Security; Nicole’s perspective
• 15:30 — Jared, Nicole’s husband, shares his feelings (live on mic)
• 17:44 — What healthy work spouse dynamics require
• 19:23 — Power-dynamic red flags (Jared’s input)
• 22:22 — Jason’s “foxhole” analogy for trust
• 27:29 — Reddit husband’s clarification and HR details
• 28:46 — Hosts’ final assessment and wrap-up

Episode Conclusion

The call is clear and shared by all hosts: Having a "work wife" or "work husband" is not inherently inappropriate—it can be a sign of trust, partnership, and camaraderie at work. The line is crossed when power dynamics, lack of consent, or romantic undertones intervene. As shown in the Reddit case, the problems arise from actual behavior, not the nickname itself. Ultimately, what matters most is trust, mutual respect, and clarity—both at work and at home.