Podcast Summary: Help Wanted — "Is It Bad to Hide Achievements From Loved Ones? Help!"
Date: November 18, 2025
Hosts: Jason Pfeiffer (Editor in Chief, Entrepreneur magazine) and Nicole Lapin (Money expert)
Overview
This episode focuses on the complex relationship between professional ambition, achievement, and romantic partnerships. Jason and Nicole unpack striking statistics around people feeling held back by their partners, the tendency to hide career wins from loved ones, and the underlying reasons these patterns develop. They reflect on their own relationships, approach to compromise versus sacrifice, and offer practical, candid advice to listeners grappling with mismatched ambitions or emotional dynamics at home.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Startling Statistics on Ambition and Partnership
- Stat Highlights:
- 37% feel "held back" by their partner professionally.
- 35% have felt embarrassed by a partner’s lack of ambition/money issues.
- 46% admit to hiding achievements from their significant other (57% men).
- Context: These stats (from a Headway study) raise questions about the emotional health of many relationships and prompt the hosts to analyze their own experiences.
Notable Quote:
"That's close. Ish. About 33%. One in three feel like their partner has held them back. That came from this study... and I read it. I was kind of interesting because then they threw out all these other statistics that surprised me."
— Jason Pfeiffer [04:46]
2. Compatibility in Ambition: Personal Stories
- Jason’s Relationship Evolution:
- Early relationship where ambition and career focus clashed with his girlfriend's contentment; she asked, “When does this stop?” regarding his ambition.
- Advice from Jason’s dad:
"The answer is never. Like, the answer is that it never stops."
— Jason Pfeiffer [08:23] - Realized partner compatibility in ambition matters deeply to mutual fulfillment.
- Nicole’s Take:
- Mismatched ambition is a dealbreaker:
"If you're in a mismatched ambition relationship, get out of it."
— Nicole Lapin [08:51]
- Mismatched ambition is a dealbreaker:
3. Distinguishing Sacrifice from Compromise
- Compromise Leads to Balance:
- Jason and Nicole discuss the difference: compromise is mutual and adaptive, whereas sacrifice can breed long-term resentment.
- Example: Jason curtails some travel for his family but sees it as a healthy trade rather than a loss.
- Nicole notes that methodically assessing choices together (when to travel, what to miss) is key for a functional and ambitious relationship.
Notable Quote:
"That's a compromise. If you didn't have Jen or your children, like you would be on the speaking thing, you would show up to an opening of an envelope."
— Nicole Lapin [11:47]
4. Ambition, Routine, and Relationship Dynamics
- Finding Stability with Excitement:
- Jason describes marrying Jen for her equal ambition and openness to “disrupting routine” — balancing his restless nature with family stability.
- Accepting new challenges as trade-offs, not flaws; evaluating life through “is my new problem better than my old problem?”
Notable Quote:
"Is my new problem better than my old problem? ... That applies to a lot of this stuff. Like, we have this particular structure in our lives right now."
— Jason Pfeiffer [16:44]
5. Hiding Achievements: Why and When Does It Happen?
- Intentional vs. Unintentional Hiding:
- Nicole sometimes undervalues her own achievements and forgets to share them, not due to secrecy but self-deprecation.
- Important for partners to encourage each other to celebrate wins.
- Jason holds back news when his wife is struggling to be sensitive to her mood — but always shares eventually.
- Key difference: hiding due to shame or to avoid jealousy is a red flag versus being modest or considerate.
Notable Quotes:
"I do unintentionally hide a lot of...good things that happen during the day...from my husband, unintentionally...he is a good partner in that he encourages me to celebrate those things."
— Nicole Lapin [20:46]
"There have definitely been...moments in which [Jen's] been full of doubt about her career...those are definitely times in which I might hold on to that something really great happened to me because I just don't want her to feel like an imbalance..."
— Jason Pfeiffer [22:42]
6. Professional Jealousy and Relationship Health
- Citing Maggie Q’s experience of hiding achievements from jealous partners, Nicole and Jason echo the point: if you can’t celebrate together, you’re likely in the wrong relationship.
- Encouragement and mutual cheerleading should be the norm.
7. Finding the Right Partner: Honesty & Shared Values
- Jason shares how he deliberately searched for someone (eventually his wife Jen) with similar background and ambition on dating apps — emphasizing that honesty and specificity bring compatibility.
- Nicole recalls a story about radical honesty from the movie “The Big Short,” concluding that openness is the best solution to the issues highlighted.
Notable Quotes:
"I typed Jewish journalist and up came Jen. I married her. Worked out."
— Jason Pfeiffer [26:58]
"That right there is the cure to all of these horrible statistics."
— Nicole Lapin [27:49]
Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)
-
On Surprising Stats:
"37% admit feeling held back by their partner. Okay, so it was a little higher than I had originally said because they said 1 in 3, but 37."
— Jason Pfeiffer [05:41] -
On Ambition Mismatch:
"If you're in a mismatched ambition relationship, get out of it."
— Nicole Lapin [08:51] -
On Compromise vs. Sacrifice:
"The thing about compromise is that you give and you get...there are things that I have to say no to right now, but that I can say yes to later."
— Jason Pfeiffer [12:09] -
On Support in Relationships:
"Having somebody who encourages you or understands that about you to bring that out...if it's the right relationship."
— Nicole Lapin [22:00] -
On Honest Relationship Building:
"Be honest. Just be honest and short the housing market if it looks like it's going down."
— Nicole Lapin [28:00]
Timestamps for Major Segments
- [04:26]: Discussion of survey/statistics about partners holding each other back.
- [06:32]: Jason’s story about ambition mismatch in a past relationship.
- [08:48]: Nicole’s definitive advice on mismatched ambition.
- [10:13]: Jason & Nicole debate compromise vs. sacrifice.
- [13:59]: Jason illustrates compromise through his travel/family choices.
- [16:44]: "Is my new problem better than my old problem?" philosophy.
- [20:30]: Segment on hiding achievements from partners.
- [22:42]: Discussion around sensitivity and timing in sharing personal wins.
- [24:16]: Actress Maggie Q’s story on hiding achievements from jealous partners.
- [26:37]: Jason’s dating app approach and philosophy on finding a partner.
- [27:49]: Closing note on honesty as a relationship cure-all.
Tone, Style & Takeaways
The episode is candid, humorous, and supportive, with both hosts sharing deeply personal anecdotes to illustrate bigger lessons. Their advice is rooted in empathy for relationship challenges but is decisively pro-growth, advocating for honest self-reflection and seeking partners who can share — not stifle — your light.
Key Takeaway:
Healthy partnerships require not just love, but aligned ambition, openness about achievements, and the ability to compromise rather than sacrifice. If you’re dimming yourself, hiding your wins, or sitting on resentment, it may be time to re-evaluate — or to look for someone who truly cheers you on.