A (3:11)
You want to do something new, but there's a problem. And here is that problem. Your current thing is just so comfortable. You know, it's like, why take a new job when you know your current one so well? Why pivot at your company when the old thing kinda works? Why make new friends when your current ones are fine? Well, here's why. Because you are allowed to want more, and you deserve to get more. So how do you escape the trap of being too comfortable? How do you overcome the fear of leaving something behind and moving forward? Here's how. It's an idea I call transfer of value. It's a way to move on from old things. And once you master it, you will feel more empowered and able to seize new opportunities. Today, I'll explain how it works, and to start, let's see how it plays out in a very simple way. My son Fenn used to hate new shoes. He would kick and scream and refuse to wear them. He would say, they're not comfortable. I want my old shoes. And every time I told him the same thing, I'd say, fen, your old shoes used to be your new shoes, and you hated them when they were new. Then you wore those new shoes and they became comfort. And then they became your old shoes that you want to keep right now. That will happen again with these new shoes. Your new shoes will become your old shoes. And surprise, surprise. This never worked. I mean, he is a child. But it got me thinking. This is the mistake that we all make. In some way, Fen was conflating something he wants, which was comfort, with the current source of what he wants, which was old shoes. And if we want to move forward with confidence, we must decouple these things. We must know what we want and see a better way to get it. So here's how to do that. We need to know how to know what we want. When Fen complains about his shoes, he's actually going through a logic Chain. And it's a really familiar one. There are four parts to it. So here it is. Number one, my old thing has a distinct value. Number two, I am afraid to give up that distinct value. Number three. Yes, I see some benefits of a new thing, but I'm not sure it'll include that distinct value from the old thing. And then number four. Therefore, I'd rather keep the old thing, even if it has many downsides. Right. So let's apply that to Fen. So in Fen's case, number one, his old shoes are comfortable. Number two, he's afraid to wear uncomfortable shoes. Number three, he knows that his new shoes are sturdy and not smelly. Those are good things. But he's unsure if they'll be comfortable, which is the distinct value he actually wants. Number four. Therefore, he's willing to keep his old stinky shoes, even though they are stinky and falling apart. You've done this too, haven't you? I sure have. For example, at age 28, I was an entry level editor at Boston Magazine. And I got a dream job offer from Men's Health, which meant moving to New York City. What I wanted to do. That is exactly what I wanted to do. But I nearly turned that down. You know why? Because I followed the same logic chain. I was thinking, number one, Boston Magazine was comfortable and I was well liked there. Number two, I was afraid of proving myself in a new environment. What if I wasn't comfortable and well liked at Men's Health? Number three, Men's Health offered more career opportunities and it paid better. But again, I wasn't sure if I'd be valued there. Number four. Therefore, maybe it's better to just stay in Boston. And had I actually stayed, I would have stunted my career growth and abandoned my dreams. So how do we escape this trap? The answer is, it's time for what I said at the beginning of this episode. It is time for a value transfer. Before we give up something old, we must understand what we truly value about that old thing. Then we must find a clear pathway to getting it in the new thing. We don't often think about this, not consciously, at least, but we must. So here are four questions to ask yourself whenever you're weighing old against new. What do I value most about the old thing? This is the distinct value that I'm talking about. Then, number two, what are the benefits of the new thing? Then number three, can the old thing's distinct value be found in the new thing? And if so, how? And then, number four, once that value has been transferred Am I happier? In other words, you're isolating the thing that you love about the old thing and then thinking about how you can find it in the new thing. Then you imagine having it all the value of the old thing, plus all the benefits of the new thing. And you ask yourself, am I happier this way? And if the answer is yes, then you take action. This is basically what I did at Boston Magazine when I thought about going to Men's Health. I thought, number one, what do I value most about the old thing? And the answer is, people liked me. I arrived every day feeling supported and trusted. That was distinct value. Number two, what are the benefits of the new thing? The answer is more pay, major career move, living in New York, and new adventure. Number three, can the old things distinct value be found in the new thing? And if so, how? Which is another way of saying, can I become well liked at Men's Health? Well, let's see. Why did I succeed at Boston Magazine? It was because I'd made friends and proven my abilities. And how did I do that? By being nice and working hard. Well, okay, I can do that at Men's Health too. So, number four, once that value has been transferred, am I happier? Let's imagine it. I'll be well liked and trusted at Men's Health. I will make more money. I will be further along in my career, and I'll be living where I always wanted to live, in New York. So, yes, I would be happier. Voila. The value transfer was complete. I took the job, moved to New York, and went on to build the life that I have today. So what value will you transfer? I get it. Leaving things is scary. Change is hard. So let's remember, although an old thing may be good, there is nothing inherently good about something old. Many old things are wonderful, of course. Old friends, old T shirts, old habits. We should treasure and protect the ones that still give us joy. But oldness by itself doesn't make something better. We can find greatness in new things, too. Like I said before, you are allowed to want more, and you deserve to get more. So find the best parts of old things, then keep only that part and upgrade everything else. Help Wanted is a production of Money News Network. Help Wanted is hosted by me, Jason.
