Podcast Summary: "Tall Poppy Syndrome: How To Navigate Your Coworkers' Jealousy"

Podcast: Help Wanted (Money News Network)
Episode Date: December 9, 2025
Hosts: Jason Feifer (Editor in Chief, Entrepreneur Magazine), Nicole Lapin (Money Expert)
Guest: Mari (Listener/caller)

Episode Overview

This episode of Help Wanted centers on a frequently overlooked career dynamic: What happens when workplace jealousy and Tall Poppy Syndrome target you? Mari, a newly promoted manager, seeks advice after encountering exclusion, gossip, and passive-aggressive behavior from former peers. Jason and Nicole dissect the challenges, offering candid insights and actionable strategies to help high-achieving professionals navigate and lead through envy, awkwardness, and shifting social dynamics at work.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining Tall Poppy Syndrome and Its Personal Impact

• Mari’s Experience (04:23 – 05:46):

  • Upon being promoted, Mari noticed coworkers’ reactions shifted from camaraderie to exclusion, gossip, and withholding cooperation on tasks.
  • The impact was felt both professionally (delayed work, lack of team cooperation) and personally (loneliness, self-doubt).

• Quote:
  “I experienced this when I received a promotion at work. The effects… were not just that people fell away, but they were gossiping. I was being excluded.” — Mari (05:00)

2. Jealousy: Universal, Yet Unspoken

• Mari and Nicole discuss how envy is a normal human emotion, but acting on it in a disruptive manner crosses a line.
• Quote: “We’d all be lying to ourselves if we said we were stoked that somebody else got the award we were up for.” — Nicole Lapin (07:13)

3. Navigating the Emotional Cost for the Achiever

• Mari describes the intellectual vs emotional struggle: knowing one "shouldn’t care" about others’ opinions vs the real loss of connection and support.
• Quote: “Success is lonely. Success is isolating. It makes you doubt yourself, almost makes you feel like, is the success worth it if it’s going to cost me?” — Mari (12:36)

4. The Role of the New Leader: Responsibility to Bridge the Divide

• Both Jason and Nicole press that, as awkward as it may be, a newly promoted leader has a responsibility to initiate conversation, promoting safety and open dialogue.
• Quote: “I think that actually, possibly it is your job. Whenever there is any kind of change, the first question that everybody has is, is this good or bad for me?” — Jason Feifer (09:58)
• Insight:
  Change creates insecurity; unless directly addressed, people fill the information vacuum with fear, often manifesting as passive aggression or withdrawal.

5. Depersonalizing, Contextualizing Workplace Relationships

• Jason advises Mari to see these behaviors as circumstantial, not personal. Relationships at work are often bound by roles and hierarchies, not deep personal bonds.
• Quote: “It is all about the context of the role… these relationships aren’t personal… the way they’re feeling about you isn’t personal.” — Jason Feifer (18:24)

6. Practicing Difficult Conversations: Empathy and Professionalism

• Nicole and Jason coach Mari through ways to open direct but non-accusatory dialogue with her team.
• Roleplay Highlights:
  • Use “I” statements and empathy.
  • Address observed work issues (like missed deadlines) rather than personal slights.
  • Create a safe space for feedback and reinforce the collective goals.
• Quote:
  “I think starting with the sense of safety and coming to it from a place of empathy… you don’t feel bad for them, but you can hear them.” — Nicole Lapin (29:48)

7. The Power of Acknowledging Awkwardness

• Recognize and normalize the discomfort; don’t try to mask it.
• Quote:
  “Awkwardness is actually the great leveler, because everybody feels awkward and everybody is relieved when the other person acknowledges it.” — Jason Feifer (45:48)
• Nicole adds:
  “You can namaste the awkwardness in me, sees the awkwardness in you.” (47:29)

8. Leadership Growth: Process, Not One-Off

• Both hosts emphasize this is a long process, not a one-time fix.
• Start acting now, accept that resolving these tensions may take months, and that “awkward conversations” are a core part of leadership, not an optional extra.
• Quote:
  “You have to have hard conversations. Tall poppies have hard conversations. Just goes along with the tall poppy role.” — Nicole Lapin (42:58)
• Jason advises:
  “This is going to be a process, not a conversation… You need to give them something good to report.” (38:44)

Key Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Universal Envy:
  “I’ve also tried to look at what they were doing that I didn’t have… but I’ve never really brought them down.” — Mari (06:30)

• On the Emotional Toll of Success:
  “These people were my people and now they’re not my people… Success is isolating.” — Mari (12:36)

• On Professionalism vs. Personal Dynamics:
  “I want to focus on what went wrong with our personal relationship. I have this gut feeling that’s not the place to go… [Focus on] how do we create a really good professional relationship?” — Jason Feifer (27:46)

• On Navigating Change as a Manager:
  “Whenever you introduce something new… you need to make it extremely clear really fast how this is good specifically for everybody on the team.” — Jason Feifer (14:30)

• On Awkwardness as a Leadership Tool:
  “Acknowledging that this is awkward—right? I have to humanize myself first. I don’t like being someone who feels awkward in any situation.” — Mari (44:24)

• On Long-Term Growth:
  “Having awkward conversations… that is part of growth, too.” — Mari (52:19) “Grow poppy, grow awkwardly.” — Jason Feifer (52:24)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Tall Poppy Syndrome Personal Story: 04:23 – 06:07
• Handling Emotional Fallout: 11:14 – 13:33
• Leader’s Responsibility for Team Feelings: 14:22 – 16:58
• Reframing Workplace Relationships: 18:24 – 21:03
• Roleplay: Navigating Team Dialogue: 25:49 – 31:43
• Building Long-Term Solutions: 37:51 – 42:58
• The Value of Awkwardness: 44:24 – 48:49

Practical Takeaways

• Accept leadership’s emotional cost: Promotion often comes with isolation; embrace and address it.
• Don’t wait for issues to resolve themselves: Proactive, repeated, empathetic dialogue is essential.
• Depersonalize resistance: Most pushback is about roles, not your worth.
• Awkward conversations are a leadership skill: Normalize and welcome discomfort—it’s part of growth.
• Find ways to include, inform, and advocate for your former peers: Show how the change benefits the whole.

The Episode's Final Message:

Embrace your role as a "tall poppy." Growth and leadership require courage, empathy, and a willingness to have awkward, honest conversations. Start the process, however uncomfortable, and you’ll serve not just yourself, but the collective good.

Nicole Lapin:
"Grow poppy, grow." (52:22)