← Her Style Podcast | Shopping, Color Palettes, Fashion, Wardrobe, Outfits, Clothing
Her Style Podcast | Shopping, Color Palettes, Fashion, Wardrobe, Outfits, Clothing
293 | Stop Copying, Start Leading: How to Develop a Style That's 100% Yours
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If you've ever found yourself saving endless outfit inspiration, following stylish women on Instagram, or trying to recreate looks that seem perfect on everyone else, but somehow never feel quite right on you, this episode is going to land with you in a big way. More than 28,000 women have discovered their top three style types using my free personal style quiz, which is amazing, but that's really only step one. Your style type gives you a starting point, but it's not the whole story. Not even close. So in this episode, I'm going to break down what actually creates a signature unmistakably you style, including the three traits every style leader has in common. The real reason copying never works, Even when you copy someone with your style type, and the missing piece most women overlook, that keeps their style feeling borrowed instead of authentic. Once you understand what actually creates a signature style, the kind that people recognize, remember, and admire, everything changes. So let's get right into it, friend. Welcome to her style podcast, where we're all about empowering you to show up and get dressed every day with confidence. I'm your host, Heather Riggs, a 15 year and counting certified image consultant and color specialist, ready to build a wardrobe and a personal style you love. Let's get started. All right, we are gonna jump right into it today. I wanna start with the place where a lot of women unintentionally get stuck. And it could be that you understand your style type. You've got the vision, but you don't know what to do with it. And I think that having your top style words is incredibly helpful. It's an essential first step, whether they came from the free quiz that I put together for you, or maybe you came up with your own unique blend of descriptive words all on your own. Either way, that's gonna give you some really helpful language to use. It gives you the clarity around your preferences may naturally suits you, and it starts to explain why you gravitate towards certain silhouettes or details or aesthetics. But where most women unintentionally limit themselves is treating their style type like the final answer, when it's really just the first clue. I want you to think about your style type as the foundation, not the whole house. Or maybe a better analogy is that your style type is basically like the recipe title. You've got the name of what you're going to prepare, but then you still need to get all of the ingredients. You need to figure out what order to do everything in. You've got to turn on the oven. It's kind of that Essential starting point, and it's a really powerful one. But it's nowhere near the full picture of your personal style and building a wardrobe you love. Because your style type doesn't tell you what makes your style distinct, how you express your personality through those words. Of course, we want to get more into the psychology of all of that. You want to understand which details actually set you apart, why something feels like you or why it feels like a miss. And of course, how to make confident decisions within your closet. And if you stop at the diagnosis, you're going to end up with a lot of information, but you still need the next steps. You're not going to have that treatment plan, if you will, and I don't want that for you. Once you realize your style type is just the foundation, I think the next big question becomes, okay, then why can't I get my style to look the way I want? Yet you've got the vision, the words, the aesthetics set up, but then the execution is where things can start to come awry. And that's also where copying often sneaks in, sometimes without even realizing that you're doing it. And that is what happens when you know what you're drawn to, but you haven't yet developed the tools to translate that into your own choices. And that can be its own frustrating beast, because you're copying these beautiful outfits that you see that you saved to your Pinterest board, but something's getting lost in translation. It doesn't feel exactly right for you when you put those same pieces on. And I think you've got to look at copying other people's outfits like training wheels. It can definitely be helpful at first to get you some fresh ideas, but you can't ride the Torch de France with training wheels on. You've got to develop your skills of self trust, self permission, self expression, all of those things to really take those ideas and then make them your own. And copying really can look like saving hundreds of outfit ideas, loving what other people wear, but then feeling off in the same thing, buying all the things that your favorite influencers recommend and then inevitably returning a lot of it. You might be pivoting styles constantly and going for minimalist looks on Monday, and then by Friday, you're leaning into the boho trends, like just kind of following people all over the place and not keeping that clear, solid ground vision of what you want, or feeling like you're dressing as someone you admire instead of like the very best version of yourself that one feels really. It can be sneaky because you see Your style up, leveling. But there's still a little bit of a disconnect between what you're wearing and who you are. And I just want to clear up something important, because I think there's a huge difference between getting inspiration from Pinterest and then playing dress up in your own closet as a way to explore what you have, which I absolutely encourage. I've probably said at least a dozen times on this podcast to set aside some time to play dress up in your closet and find new combinations you haven't thought of before. But we don't want to do those things in a way that disconnects you from who you are, from your style goals, from that clear vision, and the story that you really want to portray. When you get dressed creative dress up is low pressure. It really helps you discover those new outfit ideas and see your clothes differently. Kind of free up all of the pressure of having to put an outfit together and just being able to play and get creative and open up some new possibilities. But. But the other kind of playing dress up, the costumey kind, is what happens when you're trying to fit into someone else's aesthetic instead of really developing and crafting your own. One expands you, and the other one dilutes you. And that's why copying doesn't work long term. It just never leads you back to yourself. So if copying doesn't work long term, what does? I think what separates women who always feel like they're chasing style and they never quite get it from the ones who lead with it effortlessly, comes down to three main traits. So I want to talk about the qualities that actually define a style leader. You could say style influencer if you want, but it could just be someone that you know in your life who has a really strong personal style. I was talking with one of my clients the other week, and she was naming some of her coworkers who just always show up owning their style. They look incredible. So it might not be an actual influencer that you're seeing all over social media, but you know those women in your life who just step out with confidence. They own the room. They wear the things that represent them perfectly. And that's really the transformation that we're aiming for. It has nothing to do with being bold, being overly loud, being fashion forward or in front of the camera. A style leader is simply a woman who knows who she is, and she expresses it fully, without hesitation. So let's talk about the three traits that I really see coming from women like this. And I think we all aspire to this in our own wardrobes. So the first thing is a clear personal point of view. People who really have a knack for their style and who've developed it in this way know what they want their style to communicate, the energy that they naturally carry, how they want to feel and help others feel when they walk into a room. All the psychology that we always talk about, and then, of course, the themes that show up again and again in what they love, there are those certain signature pieces or recurring themes in their outfits that really just bring it all together. And the reason their style looks intentional is because of having that clear, your personal point of view instead of just accidentally copying the right things from other people. The second thing, the second trait is discernment. And I think this is the most under taught skill in style. Discernment is the ability to instantly evaluate. Is this right for me? Does this align with what I want to express? Does this support my lifestyle? Does this piece earn its place in my wardrobe? Is this a me item or a her item? And this is where the guessing game stops. My main goal in her style collective is to empower my clients to see why certain things work for them, why other things don't work as well for them. To get that clear vision and level of discernment. To be able to say, that is a beautiful thing that I love on that woman there. I don't need to grab it and bring it into my own wardrobe. Having that filter of being able to appreciate something on someone else and know that it may not be exactly what you want or need really helps you take everything to the next level. You probably heard a lot of my clients say this in their interviews on the podcast. That's one of the key differences for them. They don't feel like they have to copy what they see everybody else doing. They really start to understand what works for them and why. You cannot have incredible style without that level of discernment. And it's sad because no one really teaches women how to build it, but once you have it, your confidence will absolutely skyrocket. This is something that takes a little bit of practice. It takes some investigative work to figure out all of those nuances of what you love, what you don't, and what you want to bring into your wardrobe so that it's easier to get dressed every single day. And it's the number one thing that I love to teach and support my clients with. All right. And the third trait is having the confidence to edit, because people who are really leading in style don't accumulate stuff, stuff they're constantly refining. They repeat outfits with intention in ways that feel really new and fresh. Even if they're not buying additional pieces all the time, they choose items that have impact, those statement pieces. And again, it doesn't have to be bold, colorful, loud, vibrant, or, you know, the most eye capturing thing when you walk into the room, but it still makes an impact. It still makes a statement about who they are in whatever way that means. They say no more often than they say yes. Like I always say, you want to think about curating your wardrobe like an art gallery. Not everything is going to make it onto the wall. You've got to think about which pieces work the best together. They're constantly removing things that are no longer serving them. They honor their best fits, their coloring and their personality, and really think about all of those little pieces together. And they invest in what feels aligned for them and what's going to work long term, not necessarily what's trending. There's a big difference between wanting to look current, to keep your wardrobe up to date, and constantly chasing trends. So I think we all can agree we'd rather have the former. You want pieces that feel like you, that bring out your best, that you know you can wear beyond one season. For the most part. Some trends here and there are great, but again, you've got to have the discernment to know which ones are the right fit for you. And this is really the moment that your wardrobe can begin to feel curated instead of chaotic. Having the confidence to edit out what's no longer working and the discernment to bring in only what is. So let's bring this back to you. And I want to talk about the missing piece that most women never identify on their own. Right now, I have a hunch that you think in order to stop copying other people, you need more inspiration, more trendy pieces, more clothes, more wardrobe checklists or capsule ideas. But that really only adds a lot more noise. And I think what you actually need is clarity around who you are, who you're stepping into in this season of your life, the language to define your style and really make it your own. You need a filtering system, as we talked about, having that level of discernment. You need the confidence to trust your taste, to not look to everyone else for validation or to tell you what to wear. This is something that I think is so important to build up. And the piece of autonomy that is so important to me in the work that I do with the women that I get to serve is that Empowering them to start to really lean into their own style intuition. You also need structure that supports your intuition and a framework that helps you personalize everything you bring into your wardrobe. Because developing a recognizable, consistent style doesn't come from doing more. It comes from knowing yourself more deeply. And that is the shift that changes everything. It's the moment that you stop feeling influenced, and you can start becoming the influence. And when you see all these pieces together, you will start to understand why your style hasn't fully clicked yet, and more importantly, what's finally going to help it feel like you. So let's wrap this up with a couple of final thoughts that will empower you to step into that version of yourself. Your style type, as we've said, is a powerful foundation, but it's just the beginning. So from there, you've got to build your personal point of view. You want to work on developing your level of discernment. And really, awareness is the first step to that. Doing some research, stopping to pause before you purchase an item, all the good habits that I try to teach you on the podcast every single week. And then, of course, you've got to gain the confidence to edit what's no longer working. And that's really what transforms your style from feeling borrowed from someone else to born from within who you are. You don't need more clothes or trends or inspiration boards. You need the confidence to stop asking, does this look good? And start asking, does this look like me? If that's the one thing you take away from this episode, I think that will really start to make a huge impact on how you get dressed. And that pieces that you bring into your closet. You already have a style that's uniquely yours. You're not here to copy. You're here to create, to curate. And when you finally learn to translate your instincts into choices, that's when you become the woman other people are going to start looking to for inspiration. So if all of this is making you think, okay, this makes so much sense, I get it. But I need help figuring out what this actually looks like for me. At a practical level, that is the work that we can do together. Inside Her Style collective. We will look at you at an individual, personalized level to make sure that you are really curating a closet and a personal style that feels 100% you and that makes getting dressed every single day feel fun and free and enjoyable and like an exciting part of your day instead of a chore that you dread. So if you are ready to team up with me on this, I would love to invite you to join us inside Her Style Collective and you can check out the website, get all the details and get started at Her Style LLC.com collective. But even if today is as far as you go, this episode you hopefully understand now the real building blocks to create a style that feels exactly like you. Completely authentic all your own. And it really comes to developing those three key traits. So having a clear personal point of view, using a new level of discernment for what you bring into your wardrobe, and having the confidence to edit what is no longer working. I hope this episode got your wheels turning a little bit. If you have any thoughts, if you want to chat with me a little bit about your next steps, you can also send me a DM over on Instagram @Heatherrigstyle. I would love to connect with you there and I'll look forward to chatting more about what you're going to do to take your style to the next most authentic level yet. Thank you for listening to today's episode. If you want to stop copying everyone else's style and subscribe, start dialing in your own swoon worthy signature look. Head over to take my free 5 minute personal style quiz which you can find at the link in the show notes. If you've enjoyed our time together, please be sure to rate, review and subscribe to Her Style podcast so you never miss an episode. Finally, I invite you to make this a two way conversation and send me a DM over on Instagram eatherigstyle to let me know how I can best support you on your style journey. I'm always here for you in style and service. Until next time.