HerMoney with Jean Chatzky: Ep 455 - Let’s Stress Less in 2025

Release Date: December 25, 2024
Host: Jean Chatzky
Guest: Dr. Robin Hanley Defoe, Resiliency Expert and Author

Introduction

In the holiday season of 2024, Jean Chatzky addresses the pervasive stress many women experience, particularly during the holidays. Highlighting a 2023 poll by Yahoo News and YouGov, Jean notes that 43% of women report increased stress and anxiety levels during this time, compared to about a third of men. Recognizing the unique financial and emotional pressures women face, Jean brings on Dr. Robin Hanley Defoe, a renowned resiliency expert, to offer strategies for managing stress and building resilience as we enter 2025.

Understanding Resilience

Jean Chatzky: "As women, we take it all on. We're the ones who ready the house for guests, buy the perfect gifts, cook amazing meals, and ensure everyone has a picture-perfect holiday. No wonder we are stressed."

Timestamp: [01:02]

Dr. Robin Hanley Defoe: Shares her personal journey, transitioning from a high school dropout to a multi-award-winning psychology instructor. Her experiences with addiction, mental health challenges, and resilience have informed her professional work in helping others build resilience.

Timestamp: [03:38]

Jean explores the concept of resilience, noting that individuals are born with approximately 50% of their resilience capacity, with the remaining 50% being cultivable through intentional practices.

Timestamp: [05:17]

The Five Pillars of Resilience

Dr. Robin introduces the Five Pillars of Resilience, each serving as a cornerstone for managing stress and fostering a resilient mindset.

1. Belonging

   • Key Idea: Having a support system or "home team" is crucial for resilience.
   • Quote: "One caring, consistent champion in a child's life can offer a hedge of protection from all negative outcomes."
     Timestamp: [08:39]

2. Perspective

   • Key Idea: The ability to see the big picture and manage perceptions helps prioritize what truly matters.
   • Jean's Example: A 62-year-old woman, newly jobless, shifts her mindset from fear to opportunity after consulting a mentor.
   • Quote: "The ability to know how to make what matters most, matter most."
     Timestamp: [09:49]

3. Acceptance

   • Key Idea: Recognizing and accepting what is within one's control versus what is not, and directing energy accordingly.
   • Quote: "What’s outside of our control is essentially what everybody else does, including our loved ones."
     Timestamp: [11:39]

4. Hope

   • Key Idea: Hope is a state of mind that empowers action and preserves energy by fostering trust in one's ability to handle future challenges.
   • Quote: "Hope is a state that allows spaciousness. It allows the body to use its resources of energy, of focus in a very economical way."
     Timestamp: [14:56]

5. Humor

   • Key Idea: Using humor, especially dark humor, can provide emotional relief and help process stress.
   • Quote: "Resilient people are able just to roll with things more than the average person."
     Timestamp: [18:20]

Cultivating Resilience

Jean and Dr. Robin delve into practical strategies to enhance resilience:

• Solitude and Connection

  • Jean's Insight: Taking time alone can help break the autopilot mode, allowing for reflection and clarity.
  • Dr. Robin's Advice: Practices like journaling or mindful pauses can recalibrate the nervous system for better decision-making.
  • Timestamp: [27:56]

• Nature

  • Key Idea: Spending time outdoors shifts the mindset from scarcity to sufficiency, fostering a sense of abundance.
  • Quote: "When we go outdoors, our brain processes this vastness, shifting us out of scarcity to a place of sufficiency."
    Timestamp: [29:57]

• Music

  • Jean's Example: Using music as a motivator during runs or deep work sessions.
  • Dr. Robin's Recommendation: Utilizing instrumental soundtracks, such as those by Hans Zimmer, to enhance focus and productivity through Pavlovian responses.
  • Quote: "If I just hear those first few riffs of 'Gladiator,' my brain knows it's time for deep work."
    Timestamp: [32:18]

• Acts of Expression and Gratitude

  • Gratitude Practice: Actively appreciating and expressing thankfulness to activate positive neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin.
  • Acts of Expression: Celebrating others' achievements and efforts to foster a positive environment.
  • Quote: "Gratitude activates the feeling of fondness, giving our brain a sense of relief."
    Timestamp: [33:23]

Financial Stress and Resilience

Shifting focus to financial stress, Jean highlights rising levels of financial anxiety and its unique impact on women. Dr. Robin emphasizes the importance of open conversations about money, which are often avoided despite their critical role in reducing financial stress.

• Breaking the Silence:
  Dr. Robin: "People are more comfortable talking about their sexual behavior, religion, and politics than they are about money. We need to demystify money conversations to alleviate financial stress."
  Timestamp: [26:19]

• Applying Resilience Pillars to Financial Stress:

  • Solitude and Connection: Encouraging mindfulness and community support to navigate financial challenges.
  • Nature and Music: Utilizing outdoor activities and music to maintain a balanced perspective during financial upheavals.
  • Gratitude and Hope: Fostering a positive outlook can mitigate the emotional toll of financial instability.

Listener Questions and Advice

Jean and co-host Kelly Haltgren address listener questions towards the end of the episode:

1. Safe Harbor Accounts:

   • Question: Understanding Safe Harbor 401(k) accounts and withdrawal options.
   • Jean's Response: Safe Harbor 401(k) plans require mandatory employer contributions that are immediately vested. Withdrawals are restricted until leaving the company. Importance of maximizing contributions and proper investment allocation is emphasized.
   • Timestamp: [37:04]

2. Converting IRA to Roth IRA:

   • Question: Whether it's beneficial to convert a traditional IRA to a Roth IRA without incurring high taxes.
   • Jean's Response: While conversions typically incur taxes, diversifying tax strategies by maintaining both traditional and Roth accounts is advisable. Jean shares her personal strategy of making Roth contributions alongside a traditional 401(k) to balance tax liabilities in retirement.
   • Timestamp: [40:56]

Conclusion

Jean wraps up the episode by reiterating the importance of understanding and cultivating resilience to manage stress, especially financial stress. She invites listeners to explore HerMoney’s programs, Finance Fix and Investing Fix, designed to empower women’s financial confidence and stability.

Notable Closing Quote:
Jean Chatzky: "Our podcast is about leveling the playing fields for women's financial confidence and power. Join us to take control of your financial future."
Timestamp: [43:13]

Key Takeaways

• Resilience is partially innate and can be significantly developed through intentional practices.
• The Five Pillars of Resilience—Belonging, Perspective, Acceptance, Hope, and Humor—serve as essential tools for managing stress.
• Open conversations about money are crucial in reducing financial stress, particularly for women.
• Practical strategies like solitude, connection, nature, music, gratitude, and acts of expression can enhance resilience.
• Balancing traditional and Roth financial accounts offers diversified tax strategies beneficial for long-term financial health.

For More Information:
Subscribe to the HerMoney newsletter at HerMoney.com/subscribe and explore the Finance Fix and Investing Fix programs for deeper financial empowerment.

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This summary captures the essence of HerMoney Ep 455, providing insights into managing stress and building resilience, especially in the context of financial challenges faced by women.