HerMoney with Jean Chatzky

Episode 502: Financial Caregiving 101—What You Need To Know Before You or Your Parent Gets Sick

Guest: Beth Pinsker, CFP®, columnist, author of My Mother's Money: A Guide to Financial Caregiving
Release Date: November 19, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode tackles the often overwhelming and emotional subject of financial caregiving, especially as it relates to caring for aging parents or preparing someone to care for you. Host Jean Chatzky and guest Beth Pinsker—both seasoned finance professionals who’ve been through the ordeal—share stories, battle scars, and step-by-step guidance to prepare for and manage the responsibilities of financial caregiving. Their aim: to give listeners a practical roadmap, reduce the stress and confusion, and spotlight the documents and conversations that are crucial before a health crisis hits.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reality of Financial Caregiving

• Emotional Weight:
  Both Jean and Beth stress that even financial pros struggle when thrown into caregiving, especially for loved ones. The intersection of grief, responsibility, and bureaucracy is intense and rarely discussed in detail.
  • “None of this stuff is in books. Nobody tells you how to functionally use any of this stuff.” — Beth Pinsker [07:50]
• Hidden Hurdles:
  Financial caregiving goes far beyond knowing budgets and balances; it’s about handling paperwork, authorizations, and running into constant "hard nos" from financial institutions when proper legal prep isn’t in place.

2. Surprises & Stumbling Blocks in Real Life

• Personal Stories:
  • Beth shares a pivotal, stressful moment unraveling a long-forgotten home equity line of credit that threatened the sale of her deceased mother’s apartment—highlighting the chaos caused when there’s no clear paper trail.
    • “My mom’s gone. All her paperwork is in boxes. I don’t know what they’re talking about... That’s not in books anywhere. Nobody tells you that’s going to happen.” — Beth Pinsker [09:16]
  • Jean recalls her own boxes of her late mother’s paperwork, noting that even with great organization, unanticipated challenges arise.

3. Taking Over Finances in a Crisis

• The First Steps:
  • Immediately determine income sources (Social Security, pension) and outgoing bills (caregivers, utilities, insurance).
  • Reverse engineer a budget if you don't have all the details; look at bank statements, credit card bills, and automated payments.
    • “You have to, like, reverse engineer a budget and make sure that everything that needed to be paid got paid because she had premiums for insurance policies and household bills and things like that. Somebody’s got to keep the trains running.” — Beth Pinsker [13:30]
  • Beth did this using just her phone’s Notes app and paperwork at her mom’s desk.

4. Sibling Dynamics and Dividing Labor

• Beth notes the importance—and luck—of dividing duties with her brother:
  • She handled finances, he tackled medical issues.
  • “Every family needs like a doctor and a lawyer and somebody who’s good at getting stuff done... daughters get stuff done in American families and it’s just kind of the way things happen.” — Beth Pinsker [18:22]

5. From Crisis Mode to Preparation Mode

[24:02]

• Beth’s "One Email" Plan:
  • Proactively send a group message to potential caregivers/emergency contacts asking if you’re their go-to person, and if so, request:
    • Durable Power of Attorney
    • Healthcare Proxy
    • Will or Trust (for after death)
    • Copies of each document
  • “If you are that daughter... make a family map... not all the lines are blood connected lines. You want to send an email to everybody who is on that list...” — Beth Pinsker [24:02]
• Why It’s Urgent:
  • Without these documents, caregivers may face expensive, lengthy conservatorship proceedings.
  • Even young adults (college aged) need healthcare proxies so parents can step in for medical needs.

6. Understanding Bank Account Titling & Legal Access

[27:44]

• The Risks and Options:
  • Power of Attorney (POA):
    Authorizes someone to act financially while you’re alive & incapacitated, but ends at death.
  • Joint Accounts:
    Easiest for access, but money automatically goes to joint owner—potentially contradicting a will and impacting eligibility for college aid, divorce, etc.
    • “If you’re on that account and your mother dies, you own it, correct?... So does that create an estate mess if you and your brother are supposed to inherit equally?... Absolutely.” — Jean Chatzky & Beth Pinsker [29:15–29:28]
  • Transfer on Death (TOD):
    Names a beneficiary but only pays out on proof of death—doesn’t provide ongoing access, account info, or continuity for in-flight bill payments when the person dies.
    • “Transfer on death means you’re basically named as a beneficiary... you just get a check for the amount of money that was in the account... you don’t have any of the records.” — Beth Pinsker [30:46]

7. What’s the “Right” Account Setup?

[33:00]

• Mix and Match:
  • Beth’s family used a combination: she had joint access to a savings account, POA for checking, and beneficiary forms for investment/retirement accounts. This balance gave enough flexibility for emergencies and compliance with inheritance wishes.

8. Beth’s Three Essential “Do Now” Steps

[35:01]

• POA and healthcare proxy for everyone you might be responsible for
• After-death documents: will or trust
• Access to digital life: phones and email for two-factor authentication and account management
• “You need that phone for two factor authentication. And it’s basically... a roadmap to their life.” — Beth Pinsker [35:01]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Even people like us who know a lot of things can get sideswiped by all of those nos.” — Jean Chatzky [08:47]
• “Every family needs like a doctor and a lawyer and somebody who’s good at getting stuff done.” — Beth Pinsker [18:22]
• “If you don’t do those things, you’re gonna end up in court. Like Jay Leno filing for a conservatorship for his wife because they did not have the proper power of attorney documents executed before she got too sick to sign them.” — Beth Pinsker [24:02]
• “You can’t pretend you’re somebody else anymore with their password. So like, oh, I'm going to log into mom’s bank account with her password and I'll just pretend I'm her. You can't do that anymore. And you need that phone for two factor authentication.” — Beth Pinsker [35:01]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:29: Introduction of guest, Beth Pinsker, and episode focus
• 07:50: Beth describes the lack of practical guidance in existing resources
• 09:16: Beth’s emotional story about discovering a hidden home equity credit line
• 13:30: First steps in taking over a parent’s finances
• 16:24: How to gather information and organize in a crunch
• 18:22: Sibling dynamics and family caregiving roles
• 24:02: Proactive document gathering—Beth’s “One Email” strategy
• 27:44: Legal structures for accessing bank accounts; pros and cons of each
• 33:00: The ideal account setup during and after a parent’s life
• 35:01: Beth’s three essential steps for preparedness

Conclusion & Resources

• This episode is an essential listen for anyone remotely close to financially supporting—now or in the future—aging parents, single friends, or even young adult children.
• Beth’s book, My Mother's Money, is a recommended deep dive, complete with checklists, step-by-step guidance, and personal anecdotes.
• The episode stresses being proactive—having the will, POA, and medical proxy in place, plus access to digital tools—so the inevitable emergency is less overwhelming for you or for those you love.

Resource Note:
For further support and detailed checklists, listeners are encouraged to check out Beth Pinsker’s book and the HerMoney website.