HerMoney with Jean Chatzky – Episode 505 From Financially In the Dark to Fully In Control: Jen Hatmaker’s Wake-Up Call Released: December 10, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features bestselling author, speaker, and podcast host Jen Hatmaker, who joins Jean Chatzky to share her raw, honest journey from financial outsourcing in her marriage to personal empowerment and control after divorce. Jen discusses how faith, identity, friendship, and finally taking charge of her finances became pivotal in her transformation. Jean and Jen explore why women often abdicate financial power, the step-by-step process Jen used to rebuild, and how support and self-compassion are critical for moving forward.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Wake-Up Call: Crisis as Catalyst for Change

• Jen Hatmaker’s Turning Point
  Jen describes the shattering discovery of her husband’s infidelity after 26 years of marriage. Despite her faith background and public image, her instinct was to call an attorney immediately, knowing there would be no redemption for her marriage.

  “I instinctively knew. We cannot, will not and should not redeem this relationship… And the very next day I was sitting in an attorney’s office.” – Jen Hatmaker (08:49)

• Comparison to Jean’s Experience
  Jean relates, mentioning how her own “year of everything falling apart” was devastating but ultimately formative. Both highlight that upheaval often uncovers how little many women know about their finances.

2. Women and Financial Outsourcing

• Admission of Financial Ignorance
  Despite being a successful woman and leader, Jen had “phoned in” her finances, not knowing income, bills, or even passwords. She calls it a humiliating realization:

  “I have been leading women for 20 years… And then to have to go, I don’t know how much money I make in a year. I don’t know our passwords… It was more like me going. Phoned it in.” – Jen Hatmaker (09:55)

• Why Do Women Step Back?
  Jen explains how overwhelming family life, career, and five children led her to consciously hand over financial duties to her partner, out of both necessity and trust.

  “My life in those family years was so overwhelming… that this one category that I could hand to my partner was a relief.” – Jen Hatmaker (12:23)

• Cultural & Religious Underpinnings
  Jen connects her abdication partly to the “purity culture” and religious upbringing, where money was seen as the man’s domain—a pattern of learned helplessness common in certain faith communities.

  “I grew up in a worldview that essentially said the men are in charge… part and parcel of that division of labor… was that the men are in charge of the money.” – Jen Hatmaker (14:13)

3. Rebuilding: The Financial Crash Course

• Starting from Scratch
  Jen recounts her embarrassment sitting with a financial planner, unable to answer questions about her accounts or bills. Her planner gave her a 90-day “discovery” list: separate accounts, document debts and assets, close shared cards, set up auto-pay, cancel unnecessary expenses, and (optionally) refinance her home.

  “He said, all right, I’m going to give you a list. Here’s a list of things to do. Take the next 90 days and do all of this. And it was all discovery… make a list of everything you owe, every account you have, change your bank account…” – Jen Hatmaker (17:12)

• The Importance of Step-by-Step Progress
  Jen stressed that tackling it was overwhelming, but manageable by “chipping away” little by little.

  “I chipped away at it one thing at a time… It’s the piece I’m most proud of for sure.” – Jen Hatmaker (19:14)

• A New Sense of Safety
  Once refi, taxes, and accounts were handled, Jen felt a profound sense of security for the first time:

  “I just remember thinking, holy shit, I’ve done it. And then there was this sense of safety… I’m in charge now of my financial future, and I will never lie to me…” – Jen Hatmaker (20:55, 21:29, 22:24)

4. Honoring Every Woman’s Financial Reality

• Privilege and Possibility
  Jen acknowledges her privilege in having a portable, successful career post-divorce, but encourages all women—with any work history—that earning and rebuilding is possible.

  “What I have learned is that to whatever scale earning is possible… It’s so possible for women to be reliable earners no matter what their work history is.” – Jen Hatmaker (23:08)

• Faith in Women’s Stewardship
  Jen notes data and lived experience that prove women are competent, responsible with money, and essential to economic health:

  “We are responsible leaders of our households. We have our eye on the future. We are careful. At this point, I have so much confidence in women and their capacity to earn, to save, and to be fiscally responsible.” – Jen Hatmaker (24:16)

5. Community, Friendship & Independence

• The Power of Support Networks
  After the divorce, her friends and family rallied; she believes investing in deep adult friendships is as vital as marriage or parenthood.

  “They do not waste one millisecond when they are investing in their adult friendships. In my opinion, they are so important not just to our thriving, but literally our health and longevity.” – Jen Hatmaker (29:24)

• Solitude and Reinvention: “Me Camp”
  Jen shares her transformative solo month in Bar Harbor, Maine—‘Me Camp’—which became an annual tradition symbolic of self-reliance and new beginnings.

  “For the first time in my whole life, I had never even been to a movie by myself… and I realized, oh my god, not only can I do this, I love this. I am independent. I love my own company.” – Jen Hatmaker (31:30)

• A New Approach to Romantic Partnership
  Jen is now in a happy, long-distance partnership, valuing her autonomy while enjoying connection, eschewing traditional marriage pressure.

  “For right now, this arrangement is so perfect… This beautiful reciprocal partnership across states. He’s got his stuff, I’ve got my stuff.” – Jen Hatmaker (35:04)

6. Spirituality, Public Scrutiny & Personal Growth

• Faith Beyond Institutional Religion
  After the public fallout of her divorce, Jen stepped away from church but not faith:

  “I see church and like organized religion as one road, but I see faith as a different road… I feel like my relationship with God is relaxed and it’s a nice place to be.” – Jen Hatmaker (37:27, 39:01)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “I instinctively knew. We cannot, will not and should not redeem this relationship… that was a dead end road.” – Jen Hatmaker (08:49)
• “I have been leading women for 20 years… and then to have to go, I don’t know how much money I make in a year.” – Jen Hatmaker (09:55)
• “My life… was so overwhelming… that this one category that I could hand to my partner was a relief.” – Jen Hatmaker (12:23)
• “Part and parcel of that division of labor… was that the men are in charge of the money.” – Jen Hatmaker (14:13)
• “I chipped away at it one thing at a time. I called my bank, I made appointments, I went in…” – Jen Hatmaker (19:14)
• “I just remember thinking, holy shit, I’ve done it. And then there was this sense of safety…” – Jen Hatmaker (20:55)
• “Put your chips on you. You are smart. You are so able to do this. There are so many helpers. Don’t be too prideful. Ask for help.” – Jen Hatmaker (39:31)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Revelation and Instinct to Seek Change – [07:24-09:35]
• Admission of Financial Detachment – [09:55-12:07]
• Religious/Cultural Contributors to Financial Roles – [13:43-15:44]
• Financial Planner, The 90-Day List & Rebuilding – [16:28-21:29]
• Jen’s “Moment of Safety” and Financial Empowerment – [20:55-22:24]
• Advice for Women with Less Financial Security – [23:08-25:48]
• Friendships & Support Systems – [28:43-31:14]
• “Me Camp”: The Power of Being Alone – [31:30-35:04]
• Spirituality Redefined After Loss & Criticism – [35:24-39:17]
• Final Encouragement to Listeners – [39:31-41:17]

Final Takeaways

Jen Hatmaker’s deeply personal financial reckoning is a roadmap for women at any stage. She openly details starting from zero, the shame and empowerment of learning, and how step-by-step action, community, and self-compassion can rewrite any story. Her advice: start today, ask for help, believe in your ability, and know you’re not alone.

“One day you will wake up and realize you know where every penny is… you are safe, you are stable and you’ve done it.” – Jen Hatmaker (41:01)