← HerMoney with Jean Chatzky
HerMoney with Jean Chatzky
Ep 513: Vivian Tu on Building a Well Endowed Life That Buys You Time, Not Just Things
00:41:42
How to spend with purpose, build wealth, and protect your time.
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- [00:02]
A
I feel like we have been brainwashed into thinking that we can buy our way to happiness. And I am not someone who's like, money can't buy happiness. I'm not one of those people. I think that you need a certain level of money to be happy. A baseline number certainly. But there are so many insidious tools and resources at the Internet's disposal that is making us part with our money in reasons, in moments, and for things and experiences that we don't actually want.
- [00:38]
B
Hey everyone.
- [00:39]
C
Welcome to Her Money.
- [00:40]
B
I'm Jean Chatsky and on this show we talk a lot about being intentional with our money. But what does that look like actually in practice, especially now as we move closer to retirement and start making the big decisions that will define our next chapter. Well, this week we are breaking it down.
- [00:59]
A
Down.
- [00:59]
B
Think of it like a values reset, a chance to step back. Start from the beginning. Ask the really big questions. How should I be spending and investing my money as I approach retirement? Where is it really going? And is all of that truly aligned with the life that I want to live, not just today, but for the decades ahead? To help us with that recalibration, we are thrilled to welcome back Vivian Tu, New York Times best selling author of Rich AF and now well endowed. The secrets to strategic spending, Building a financial foundation for you and your family and creating lasting generational wealth. Clearly, the woman has a way with titles. In her first book, Vivian helped us build and manage our wealth and now she's taking it a step further, showing us how to make sure that wealth is working in service of our values and ultimately in service of a secure, fulfilling and well funded retirement. This episode is all about time versus money. Short term splurges versus long term goals, renting versus owning and the very, very real choices that women like us face as we transition from accumulation to preparation and protection of what we've built. By the end of this episode, you'll have a clear lens for every financial decision you make and a roadmap to help you protect what Vivian says is the most valuable asset of all with the people you love and the freedom to care for them well, including the freedom to design the retirement you actually want. Vivian, welcome back to her money. We are so excited to have you again.
- [02:46]
A
Thank you so much for having me. And it's so good to see you again.
- [02:49]
B
So good to see you too. So the last time you were here you had just published Rich AF and since then you have been on God, an amazing Ride Time 100 creators Forbes 30 under 30 bestselling book, hit podcast. What have you not been up to? Just. Just catch us up.
- [03:11]
A
What have I not been up to? Oh, I don't know. Exercising, Eating right? Sleeping enough? No, I think, listen, I feel really, really grateful every day that I get to be frustrated and challenged by a pursuit of my own choosing. So even when I'm having a bad day, I'm having a bad day because I'm living the dream. So I don't have too many complaints.
- [03:35]
B
That's an amazing way to look at it. You open well endowed with this incredible story, a powerful story about gifting your parents an all expenses paid trip to Asia. But in the few precious hours you had with them in New York before they left, you found yourself checking emails instead of being fully present. What did that moment bring up with you and what did it make you realize that you needed to change about your life? Especially as you watched your parents. Parents sort of step into this new season of their own.
- [04:11]
A
Yeah. So you know how we talk about like different love languages of, you know, acts of service, quality time, gifts, things like that. I felt like I could replace one of those languages with gifts. I literally thought if I just spent enough money that my parents would fully appreciate and feel my love. And that's not to say they weren't so appreciative of everything that I did for them.
- [04:36]
B
I.
- [04:36]
A
But I think what I realized was that even when I was spending the money, even when I was going out of my way to do nice things for them, it didn't mean as much to my parents at least as that quality time did. For context, I am the only daughter, only child to two Chinese immigrant parents. Growing up, all we had was each other. And I think something that was always.
- [05:04]
B
A.
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A
Through line through my childhood was the fact that no matter what, we would have dinner together every night. And so it was a time for us to talk about how the day went, what was going on. And there were heated dinners where it was very clear my parents were stressed about something. I had no idea what.08 was at the time I was in middle school, but my parents, you know, I could see it on their faces. But those were moments where we would, you know, figure things out together. We would share in the good and the bad. And I think at the end of the day I realized that money couldn't replace the time that I needed to spend to make my parents feel like I was fully present, fully there and fully caring for them.
- [05:50]
B
I gotta tell you, both ends of that story resonated with me. So Much. Because when I first became successful, I did what you did. I, I, you, I took my parents, we went, I took my parents and my kids on the QE2. Right. We went on this, like, incredible trip. We did do it together, but I sort of did go a little overboard with the gifting and eventually picked up and moved to be across the street from my mother because that's, you know, that's sort of what we needed at the time. I'm wondering how the whole experience for you reshaped the way that you think about building wealth and the end goal of, you know, I don't know if you're at the point in your life you're significantly younger than I am, but if you have a vision of a meaningful retirement and not just sort of a number in the bank.
- [06:49]
A
Yeah. I mean, I feel like that moment really answered one question for me, which was just like, what's the point? And I feel like there was a while there that I was making money and I was stacking that money in my bank account and my investment accounts because it was the right thing to do.
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B
Right?
- [07:08]
A
Quote, unquote.
- [07:09]
B
Yeah.
- [07:10]
A
And then I sat down and I was like, listen, even if I make this much money, if I can't get a morning away to spend with my parents who are only in town so often, or I can't take an afternoon to go do something I want to do for myself, or I can't be there for my husband for something that he wants me to attend, which is like, like celebrating a milestone achievement for him. Like, what is the point? Because then I am not just, you know, a very successful, well to do person. I'm literally a slave to my desk. I'm chained there. And that's exactly what I escaped from, leaving my nine to fives. And I don't want to go back. So I think what that really taught me was just like, what's the point? I sat down with my husband and we have a really candid conversation of what is the number that we probably need to feel like we can do whatever we want. I think that number might change as we have children. The number of children we choose to have. That number might change lower or higher, depending on the health of our parents. But it showed us what we were doing it all for. It wasn't so that we could go on a marginally nicer vacation. We already go on plenty nice vacations now. But it's to make sure that, like, I don't want my parents to ever have to struggle again in the future. When I do have children, I hope they never have to worry about any of the things I worried about as a kid of like, can my parents afford for me to go on that field trip? Or can my parents afford to send me to that summer camp? That's not to say they're getting a G wagon on their 16th birthday as their first car. You will be driving a, you know, practical Toyota Camry like the rest of us, Right?
- [08:54]
B
Exactly. That you share with the family.
- [08:57]
A
That you share with the family. And there's one set of keys that need to be passed around. But I think I don't want them to have to feel like their potential is limited by the finances in our bank. And so for me, a retirement, a happy retirement, doesn't necessarily look like retirement at all. It looks like me just being able to pick and choose what I do with my time. I'm very lucky. I'm 31 now. I feel like if I really wanted to make some changes to my lifestyle and really become super frugal, I could retire today. But what does one do when they retire at 31? I don't know. I feel like I may never retire, but the job I do probably changes instead of working for money. And maybe I'm doing things because they're causes I care about or maybe it's I'm providing free childcare for my kids when they have my grandchildren. I want to be able to do what I want, not what I have to do.
- [09:51]
B
We're going to take a very quick break.
- [09:54]
C
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- [12:01]
B
We are back with Vivian Tu, author of the new book well endowed. Flash forward 30 years exactly. Because I'm 61 years old and this is the exact dialogue that I have with myself. Retirement doesn't look like not working. It just looks like figuring out what I wanna do versus what I don't wanna do. And I'm looking ahead to, you know, hoping that my kids have kids of their own someday and you know, and I wanna be able to be that grandpar flies in for as long as they will let me stay and, you know, helps. So I get it. Part one of the book is a values based or focuses a little bit on a values based detox. Walk us through how that process helps people realign their saving and their spending.
- [12:53]
A
I mean, I feel like we have been brainwashed into thinking that we can buy our way to happiness. And I am not someone who's like, oh, like money can't buy happiness. Like, I'm not one of those people. I think that you need a certain level of money to be happy. A baseline number certainly. But there are so many insidious tools and resources at the Internet's disposal that is making us part with our money. In reasons, in moments, and for things and experiences that we don't actually want. We're just told we want them or we're reminded enough times that we may temporarily want those things. I'll give you a couple examples. Like, I actually worked at buzzfeed on this team. I would put digital media and like ads across the Internet and it's so crazy that people think, oh, wow, like I've seen this pair of shoes like six times now over the past week, like on the Internet, while I've been scrolling, it must be a sign. I need these shoes. No babe cookies. Exactly. And I talk about a one by one pixel, a tracking pixel. So when you go and visit a retailer site and you're looking at the website and you're like, ooh, this could be cute, whatever, and you maybe even save or heart something, you get a pixel attached to you. And then when you go and browse other websites, the ads that pop up that are on the screen that actually make the article harder to read or make the experience less enjoyable, they are informed by that pixel that you were on that site and you lingered there for seven and a half minutes. You must really want these shoes. And so they will throw a buy one, get one deal at you or a 10% off coupon or act now spring sale, fall sale, summer sale, winter sale, it doesn't matter. They will throw whatever they have to at you to get you to make that purchase. And people don't realize this, that this is entirely manufactured. Now we are choosing to part with our money because we're told to, not because you actually want that shoe that badly. And I think that if we actually understood why we were spending money, maybe we would spend it in smarter ways that give us longer term returns that and actually make us happy in the long run.
- [15:19]
B
I have been thinking about bricking my phone and I'm so much more convinced after the last two minutes. One of the ways that we can use our money that does make us happy is to save time. When we think about limited resources, I think, you know, both money and time are limited resources, but time is the more limited of the resources and the older we get, I think the more time becomes the asset that we're trying to protect. How do you think about the time money trade off? When do you think it's worth doing? When don't you think it's worth doing?
- [15:54]
A
Yeah, I actually have a very simple way to do this and it's not emotional, it's entirely based on numbers. So what I asked people to calculate when they're making a purchase is the your HBFF is it worth it equation. So you go to a store and you're like, okay, I really want this pair of jeans. They're a hundred dollars. You actually then go and calculate your after tax take home pay per hour. Say your after tax take home pay per hour is, let's just use an easy number, $25. $25. You would then have to realize that for a hundred dollar pair of jeans. You divide it by your after tax take home hourly pay. You have to sit at your desk for four hours, or you have to stand up and see patients for four hours, or you have to teach people for four hours, or you have to argue in court for four hours. Whatever it is, you have to for four hours. Would you be willing to trade four hours of your life for that thing? In some cases the answer is yes. In other cases the answer is no. But essentially what I'm asking people to do is ask yourself, is the cost that you're spending worth an hour of your time? What is an hour of your time worth? And so even if you're not buying something, you're using a service, a service to deliver you lunch or deliver your groceries, or maybe come and pick up your dry cleaning or do a wash and fold and just get some of your time back. Can you make more in an hour than you're spending to have that hour back?
- [17:20]
B
I love that. And I also just want to add that I have a very cool hack for figuring out that hourly wage. So if you are on an annual salary of like $80,000, you lop off the last two zeros and you divide by two. So $80,000 equals a 40, 40 hour time. And, and it's a, it's just a nice nifty way to get to what your number happens to be. You also suggest asking, would I still buy this if I can't tell anyone about it? And I love that. I mean, would I still buy this because I am one of those people that constantly tells what I bought on sale, right? Makes me feel, really makes me feel smart or what I got from the real, real right. That I just traded for. Or so it feels like. Right? I mean, I think that that gets to our incentives for making these purchases.
- [18:13]
A
I think especially now with the rise of, like social media, you can't just have a good life. You have to prove to other people how good of a life you're having. And that question of like, do I want this or do I just want to be able to tell people I have. It really boils down so many of the things that I actually want and made me realize that I didn't want them. So simple example, the Hermes Birkin bag. I have wanted a Birkin bag for so long and I certainly make enough money to afford one, right? And I asked myself this question of would I still want this bag if I couldn't tell anyone I had a Birkin if I couldn't show it off in photos of myself if I couldn't do any of those things. And the answer was no. I have plenty of other purses, frankly, that I don't even like to use when I leave the house. I am. No id, nothing. I have my phone. I'm asking my husband, like, do you have a credit card on you? Can we just go? I don't even have pockets. And so for me to purchase something in a category of items that I'm already not using, already not, you know, naturally reaching for and to spend 20 grand on one would be insane. But something that my husband and I invest in constantly is our sleep. We have been leveling up our sleep game for years now. So that meant getting the right types of pillows, that meant getting the right types of sheets, the right mattress for the way that we're both stomach sleepers, by the way. So shameful. I smushed my face all night. Me too.
- [19:45]
B
No, me too.
- [19:46]
A
And like, here's the thing. We've spent thousands of dollars on our sleep. Blackout shades, you know, noise, machine, everything. We don't tell people that we have nicer sheets than them. We don't tell people what kind of mattress we're sleeping on unless, obviously, it comes up in conversation. But we feel the difference every night. And we wake up better people. We wake up better rested. And for me, that is an expense well worth the money. I don't need the purse.
- [20:14]
B
Will you share with me the pillow, though? Because I am struggling with this.
- [20:20]
A
Okay, so this is like a fun little tidbit, I feel like. And this, there was a little bit of skinflation that has happened. The perfect pillow used to be the soft fill hotel collection down pillow that you would get at Macy's. The soft fill is perfect, but I feel like over time, they've started to fill less and less and less. And now this pillow is actually a little flat, so maybe get the medium fill. But it's the perfect pillow for me.
- [20:47]
B
All right. And you're a stomach sleeper, so I am going to give it a try. You talk about making purchases through the lens of your mvp, your minimum viable product. Yeah, explain.
- [20:58]
A
Yeah, so that term an mvp, a minimum viable product, is a phrase used in the tech industry. And it's exactly what it sounds like. What is the baseline thing that you could get that you can get away with that works perfectly, that gets you from point A to point B, but has no frills. And that is what I think most people should be purchasing until they know it's something that they're actually Going to use and abuse and constantly be moving down the cost per wear or the cost per use. So, for example, a bad example is my husband and I bought this incredibly expensive set of cookware and then we realized we don't cook that often. So, like, we actually would have been a lot better just buying, like a nicer toaster oven because that's what we use. We should have just gotten the cheaper pans. We should have gotten the cheaper pans that maybe didn't have as many features or the place to put the, like, wooden spoon that you stir with on the handle that holds it perfectly. Or the one that like. Oh, like magically deglazes itself or magically doesn't stick to anything. Like, we didn't need all of that. On the flip side, I have realized that I am someone who absolutely needs the top of the line shoe when it comes to working out. I have very flat feet. I have, I have a bunion starting. This is like way too much information. But, like, I have messed up feet. And when I was buying the cheaper workout shoes that were $80, it wasn't meeting all of my needs. And so then I bought the shoes that were $120 and then I ratcheted that up to $150. And frankly, the best shoe for me was the one that I actually went into a store, had my gate analyzed, had my foot like, basically contoured on a piece of foam and then built out for like, the weird shape of my foot. And so that's two examples of like, me jumping to something that was way too advanced for what I needed, versus getting the minimum viable product, realizing that I needed to improve. I needed to improve, I needed to improve. But can you imagine if I had jumped all the way to the most expensive shoe and I didn't actually need it?
- [23:15]
B
Right. Or you could have gotten a really expensive shoe that still led to. Didn't work. Right. Still led to problems. We are very anti bunion here at hermoney. So you do what you have to do. We're gonna take a very quick break. When we come back, we're gonna talk about designing a well endowed ret and how Vivian is thinking about her long term future. We are back with Vivian too, author of the new book well endowed. All right, how did you come up with it and how did you convince your publisher to go with it?
- [23:49]
A
Okay, so I am known for a cheeky title. However, this one even, like, was just pushing boundaries. I think people forget that when I say the phrase well endowed. I Could be making a he he, ha ha, joke about a little bit of a crass joke. But it doesn't necessarily have to be that. When you say something is well endowed, you're specifically talking about an endowment. So we've heard this phrase before. It's Harvard's endowment, or a rich person donates to your favorite charity. Your favorite philanthropy now has a large endowment. An endowment, simply put, is just a pot of money, a pot of resources that can be invested and then can grow for the future. And that allows an organization to further its mission into the future, into perpetuity, AKA forever. And I think that all of us deserve to be well endowed, meaning we all deserve to have a pot of resources, a pot of money that can be invested, that can grow, and that can give us the life that we want into the future until we are no longer on this earth. And in the hopes that your pot of money is doing so well, you might be able to leave a little something behind for the people you love most. And ultimately, that's how I came up with the title. It wasn't to be cheeky. It was because that is actually what I wanted to teach people to do. Instead of spending all your money on stuff that doesn't matter now, how do you build a well endowed life?
- [25:11]
B
Well, I think it's brilliant. Occasionally you see a sentence or you see a title and you're like, I wish I wrote that. That's one of them. So congrats on that. You recently moved to Miami and you mentioned that many of the retired women in your building are living these incredibly full, active lives. They're up at dawn, heading to Pilates, walking, brunching, traveling, playing bridge, canasta. In my case, you've said that retirement is a misnomer because there's nothing tired about them. How has living among these women reshaped your vision of the future? And what kind of financial planning a life like that actually takes?
- [25:56]
A
Yeah, I mean, I think when we hear the phrase retirement, it's often equated to, like, being put out to pasture. I actually hate that term. But, like, it literally feels like it's the end. You get to, like, not work anymore, but also your life's over. Everything sucks. You stay at home, you maybe get to watch some tv. The end, like that sounds terrible. I don't want that at all. But I see these women who live more active social lives than I do, they are working out. So they're, you know, practicing some level of physicality. They are super socially and emotionally tapped in. They have these mixers, they throw parties, there's bingo night, all of this stuff. And for me, that's exactly what I want my retirement to be like. I want to be able to choose how I spend my time. I want to be able to travel. I mean, one of these women, it's so crazy. She has daughters my age, and she is constantly leaving the country on behalf of the Red Cross. And she's, like, building homes in, like, regions that have been hit by natural disaster. She's providing, like, care and aid and relief. And I am so impressed by her one desire to do something like that, but also inspired by the fact that her life didn't end, her job didn't end. She just doesn't need to work for money. She's doing this for free. She's, you know, spending her time. And I think that has really revamped how I think about retirement. I don't need a pot of money so I can sit at home on my butt. I need a pot of money so I can travel, so I can have the vacation home, so I can help support my family, my kids, my grandkids, make sure that, you know, generations after them can go to college or do whatever they want. And so I just don't think that retirement has to be the end. It can really be a beginning of a new chapter.
- [27:48]
B
Totally agree on that. But getting to the place where you've designed your money in a way that it will support whatever you envision that lifestyle to be is a bit of a process. So when do you start? Start sort of planning and designing and moving the financial puzzle pieces around to get them to where you want them to be. Once you hit your 60s or 70s or wherever, that point in time where you feel like you're going to stop working for money hits.
- [28:24]
A
Honestly, the sooner the better. If your parents are really savvy, they might start you on, you know, day one of your life, you can open up a custodial Roth ira. We're putting Baby Jean into modeling campaigns. Like, Baby Jean is going to earn a wage so we can, you know, contribute those dollars to her custodial Roth ira. I'm going to get you just a kickstart right there. But I think for most of us, when we feasibly get to start thinking about it is when we get our first job. So let's call that 21, 22. And you really have to lock in, because I know retirement feels a lifetime away. It's literally two of your lifetimes away. But it happens sooner and faster than you'd think. And the really alarming stat is actually one in four Americans have $0 saved for retirement. Two of those other four are under saved, under invested. So they have money set aside, but it's not enough. And then one of four probably has what they need to make make it all happen. That tells me we as a society are not prioritizing our future as much as we need to be. I've heard the sayings of like, oh, but like, your knees aren't going to be as good in your 60s. Like take the trip now. I'm not disagreeing that you should take the trip now. But if you can't take the trip in a way that still allows you to set something aside for your future, you might need to reconsider whether or not you can afford that hotel. Maybe it's better if you backpack and stay at a hostel. Maybe you need to be, you know, doing some sort of travel hacking, using points so that you're not coming out of pocket for those flights. I think there's a way to do it. I think you don't have to give up today in the hopes of a better tomorrow, but you do have to be mindful and you have to start really planning for this sooner rather than later. Otherwise you might be in a position where you feel the need to catch up and that's going to take even more money later down the road. Because it's not money that makes money. It's time. That compound interest is what's going to do the heavy lifting.
- [30:30]
B
It's interesting, I was just having a conversation with David Bach who wrote the Automatic Millionaire. Been a friend of mine for literally decades, and he made this point that I never really thought about, which is that in your 20s and your 30s, when you're first starting to put money into your retirement accounts, it doesn't look like it's doing all that much like the growth, you know, the compounding of compounding doesn't really take off until you've been doing it for a while, which makes it hard to stick with it if you don't see that progress. And I gotta say, I've never thought about it like that. But it's important, especially for people who are younger and starting to really just know that, that you will get to that supercharged feeling. You're just gonna have to wait for it.
- [31:19]
A
I think it's also in to put it into like tick tock terms. You know, when you're seeing like a makeup reveal and there's somebody doing their makeup and like the first Half of the video, they just look terrible. And you're like, what is going on? And you just have to trust the process. And by the end, they have perfectly crisp eyeliner, their blush is flawless, their skin looks like it's airbrushed on. Like you for the first half of the video, you were a doubter, I was a doubter. But you have to just trust the process because the math, maths. That's not to say you should be double checking, to actually see that your assets are allocated appropriately, like your cash is put into actual investments. I think a big mistake people make when they're investing for retirement is they put the cash into the retirement account and then forget to buy anything. And I hate seeing that. But you shouldn't be expecting to make millions of dollars the year one you do this like it could just be a couple hundred, maybe a couple thousand dollars, if that. But over time that snowballs down the hill until it becomes this massive ball of money for you and for your future. So sometimes you just gotta trust the process.
- [32:35]
B
As you look at the process and the markets these days and the fact that. But things feel a little. They feel a little frothy, they feel a little out of whack. So much of what we've gained has come in such a small band of investments and yet people are taking risks in these very, very volatile categories because they're looking for that quick win. How do you believe that people should be approaching in general their portfolio these days?
- [33:13]
A
I think the old adage is true. If it feels too good to be true, it probably is. There's no such thing as a get rich quick scheme. I'm boring. I invest in an incredibly diversified portfolio. I am, you know, I'm allocated across geographies, so I have domestic investments and international ones. I'm invested across different industries, so certainly, you know, have monstrous exposure to AI just because I'm investing in like index funds that track the S&P 500. But I also specifically invest in industrials. It's a space that I know decently well since that's what I traded when I was on Wall Street. Industrials, materials, energy. I consider that old economy versus kind of new economy being tech AI, all of those, you know, advancements. But I like to have both. I also like to be really diversified in not only the type of equities that I'm holding, but just assets overall. I have the good fortune of owning my primary residence. I don't think it's necessarily going to be the biggest money maker. I think I'll make a little bit of money, but more so than anything, it'll be wealth preservation. And by the time I sell my home, it'll be like, I just got to live rent free for a couple years, which is really nice. I've got, you know, access to certain investments based on who I am, Whether that be angel investments, getting into seed rounds, startups, but also having access to certain private equity investments. I feel like private equity as an industry gets a bad rap for, you know, fair reasons. But people don't understand that like private equity is literally just any company that's not public.
- [34:53]
B
Right.
- [34:54]
A
So like my business, your hbff is owned as private equity. I own all of the equity, but like, I have assets everywhere and the more diversified, the better. I feel like putting all of your money on red and praying is not an investment strategy, it's gambling. But as your portfolio is more diversified, if you're willing to just make a bet that like you think, hopefully over the course of your lifetime the economy will continue to improve, it does feel like the American economy is more resilient than ever. Yeah, like I think your money will continue to grow and to try and get a quick win. I don't think it's necessarily gonna pay off for everybody. A lesson that my mentor always taught me was that every trade has a winner and a loser. For you to make a hundred bucks, somebody has to lose a hundred bucks. So you have to decide which side of that coin you wanna be on.
- [35:44]
B
I love that reminder. I wanna end this by coming full circle throughout the book. You, parents financial discipline, it's just a very, very powerful. And you've shared that. They now own both an apartment in Shanghai and a home in Maryland and they are living what sounds like their version of a well endowed retirement. Have you helped them along the way? How do they feel about where they are now?
- [36:10]
A
If I can be totally candid, my dad is still someone who's like, why is anyone reading your book? I should write a book. I'm like, dad, what do you mean? But I will say that you can teach an old dog new tricks. You know, I think they've been really, really frugal their entire lifetimes. They got into investing a little bit later, but, you know, it's something that they were doing. I recently set up my own estate plan when, you know, my husband and I chose to buy our home together. And at the time we weren't even married. When we were, you know, planning for our wedding and all of those things, we got an estate plan put in place. We have a living will, we have trust, we have everything that really outlines who's gonna get what, what happens if I go, if he goes, if we both go. And it's not necessarily a pretty conversation to have, but it's an important one. And those things really mattered. And once we did them, I turned around and I thought, I wonder if my parents have one of these. They did not.
- [37:10]
B
Wow.
- [37:11]
A
So I actually had to be the one to encourage them to get estate planning documents put together. I was like, hey, knock on wood. God forbid anything happens, I want to be able to have medical power of attorney for you guys so that, like, I can make that decision if both of you are incapacitated. I am your closest living relative, your only child. I should be allowed to make that decision. I don't want them to, like, not know what to do. I don't want them to even call my aunt. I don't want them to call one of your siblings. I don't want them to call anybody. I want them to call me. And on top of that, like, at this point in my parents life, they own their home that's probably going to become mine one day. And I said, I don't want to go fight in court for this. I don't have time for this. Like, I don't have to want to have to prove that you don't have any other kids. I don't have to prove that I'm your daughter. I don't have to prove anything. Just write it down, make a plan, and that way it's easy. Everybody knows where everything goes. I don't have to go to court. And my parents actually were so resistant. They were like, oh, you're planning for our downfall. I was like, what are you talking about? But the line that changed their brain chemistry was like, I was like, think about how little time I have. I don't have time to go to court to fight for your things, to fight for what is rightfully mine, which, frankly, I know you want to give to me. Just make it easy on me. Do it as a favor to me. And my parents weren't willing to do it for themselves, but they were willing to do it for me.
- [38:41]
B
Well, I'm glad that they did it. I lost my mother about a year and a half ago. She could not have made it easier. Honestly, that's a gift. It was an incredible. An incredible gift. I've shared. I have this notebook of hers that had just everything in it, all the passwords, everything I needed. And I hope that your parents are with you for decades and healthy and vital and vibrant and you get to enjoy so much together. Good for you for getting them to do it and for doing it yourself at such a young age because so many people do not. Vivian, the book is amazing. I'm sure it will be a huge success again. It's called well Endowed. I hope that everybody listening will go out and order it and Vivian will be back with us to do a mailbag later in the week. So thank you for this and thanks in advance for that.
- [39:36]
A
Thank you. Jean. Thank you so much for having me. I had a great time.
- [39:40]
C
If you love today's episode, please take a moment to leave us a five star review on Apple Podcast. Your feedback means the world to me. Looking to grow your investing skills and make smarter decisions with your money in 2026? Join HerMoney's investing fix, the twice monthly win women's only investment club where expert stock pickers pitch ideas and you help build the portfolio. Since launching four years ago, our member driven picks have outperformed the S and P. Thanks to smart collaborative choices, we've got a strong track record and a community that's learning and winning together. Tap the link in the show notes and check out Investing Fix today. Her money is produced by Hayley Paskalidis and our music is provided by Video Helper. Thanks so much for listening and we'll talk soon.
- [40:34]
D
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