Mailbag: Taboo Money Questions with Gretchen Rubin (Yes, We Went There)

Summary

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HerMoney with Jean Chatzky – Mailbag: Taboo Money Questions with Gretchen Rubin

Date: December 12, 2025
Guest: Gretchen Rubin, happiness expert and co-host of "Since You Asked"

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Episode Overview

In this special "Mailbag" episode, host Jean Chatzky and returning guest Gretchen Rubin tackle listeners’ most taboo and tricky money questions. The conversation ranges from asking for employer sponsorship in a beauty pageant, to the anxiety and confusion of having a long-standing bank account abruptly closed, and finally, navigating the fraught topic of pay disparities in the workplace. The tone is practical, empathetic, and often amusing—true to the spirit of HerMoney—while offering genuinely actionable advice for women facing financial quandaries that are rarely discussed out loud.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Gretchen Rubin on Collaboration and New Podcast (since you asked)

• Gretchen shares the inspiration behind her new advice podcast "Since You Asked," co-hosted with Lori Gottlieb.
• She highlights the universal appeal of advice podcasts, comparing them to procedural TV shows:
  • "I think there's sort of limitless interest in it... you just want more and more and more." (Gretchen, 06:05)
• Most listener questions for their show are about relationships—family, friends, and sometimes neighbors.

Timestamps:
05:15 – 06:24: Gretchen on working with Lori and the appeal of advice formats.

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2. Asking Your Employer to Sponsor a Beauty Pageant

Listener Question:

A woman working at a large insurance company wants advice on asking her employer to sponsor her entry into a state pageant without sounding unprofessional.

Key Advice:

• Gretchen Rubin:
  Advocates a light-hearted, positive approach emphasizing opportunity for company visibility rather than a hard sell.
  • "Ask in a light-hearted way... I would love to represent the company and not ask in kind of an earnest way." (Gretchen, 07:48)
• Jean Chatzky:
  Suggests creating a sense of exclusivity:
  • "Before I go out and ask anybody else, I thought, boy, maybe I should ask you because I don't want you to feel as if I didn't give you the opportunity." (Jean, 08:48)
• Lori Gottlieb:
  Recommends framing the sponsorship as a chance for the employer to be the first to say yes, not as a favor.

Notable Quotes:

• "No one has an opinion till someone else has an opinion." (Gretchen relaying her sister’s Hollywood wisdom, 09:09)

Timestamps:
07:33 – 09:41: Conversation about company sponsorship, tone, and strategy.

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3. Bank Account Closed Without Warning

Listener Question:

A long-time customer at a major bank received a sudden (and unexplained) account closure, followed by a report to ChexSystems and Early Warning Services, making her feel anxious and embarrassed.

Key Advice:

• Jean Chatzky:
  Notes that this is not uncommon and can happen for various reasons, including profitability or policy, but worries about possible fraud or identity theft.
  • Urges freezing credit immediately:
    • "If there's fraud... you gotta get your credit frozen, and you have to do it really, really quickly." (Jean, 11:06)
  • Recommends opening a new account at a credit union with a more personal touch.
• Gretchen Rubin:
  Advocates advocating for oneself, not letting embarrassment or confusion prevent you from seeking answers:
  • "Go to this bank, get all your papers in hand... I really need to understand why you took the action that you took." (Gretchen, 12:36)
  • Reassures listeners that money triggers deep emotions, especially anxiety and shame.
  • Suggests requesting records from both banks and reporting agencies.
• Jean Chatzky (continued):
  Offers to help the listener as part of her AARP column, if the listener is willing to go public.
• Discussion:
  The hosts agree it's essential to investigate possible identity theft, emphasizing that freezing credit is a critical, immediate step.

Notable Quotes:

• “...all the emotions around money and how scary it is... it just feels awful.” (Gretchen, 12:36)
• “Freezing your credit, not just putting a fraud alert... but actually freezing your accounts with all three of the major credit bureaus is something you should do now.” (Jean, 15:38)

Timestamps:
09:41 – 16:00: Detailed breakdown of the situation, practical action steps, and empathy for the emotional toll.

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4. Pay Disparities & How to Ask for a Raise

Listener Question:

A public school administrator learns a newly hired colleague with less experience makes $20,000 more, despite them having similar roles and reporting lines. She seeks advice and even a script for addressing this discrepancy, noting her own discomfort with confrontation.

Key Advice:

• Lori Gottlieb & Gretchen Rubin: Both recommend a face-to-face meeting, not email.
  • Frame the conversation around curiosity and seeking understanding, not accusation or anger.
  • “It's very tempting to go in and be angry... but when people are on the defensive, they tend to want to defend their positions and argue why they're right and you really want them to see that a mistake has been made and needs to be fixed.” (Lori, 21:11)
  • Tone should be firm but not apologetic—don't act like you're asking a favor; you are clarifying a potential error.
• Jean Chatzky:
  • "She expects to get an answer, but she's expecting to at least be brought up to the same level. And I think it's okay to be clear about that." (Jean, 22:35)
  • Cautions about possible outcomes (systemic error vs. individual error), and recommends gathering as much information as possible (e.g., salary tier data of colleagues).
  • Advises starting with one's direct supervisor before escalating to HR or higher administration.
• On Transparency:
  • The hosts praise colleagues being open about their salaries—citing it as key to challenging inequity—and note generational differences in willingness to discuss pay.
  • "People just don't do it. But younger women do it. My daughter knows what all of her friends make." (Jean, 26:29)

Notable Quotes:

• "Use a tone of like, this doesn't make sense to me... I wanted to just talk it through with you." (Lori, 21:11)
• "This information came to light, and it just… it just doesn't add up to me." (Gretchen, 21:12)

Timestamps:
20:58 – 27:26: Analysis of pay discrepancy, advice on approach, and comments on salary transparency.

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Memorable Moments & Timestamps

• Advice as a format: 06:02–06:24
  “Advice... you just want more and more and more.” (Gretchen)
• How to ask for pageant sponsorship: 07:48–09:09
  “Ask in a light-hearted way… not in an earnest way.” (Gretchen)
• Emotional impact of banking issues: 12:36–13:20
  “We feel extremely sheepish and reluctant to press our claim...” (Gretchen)
• How to approach a salary discrepancy: 21:11–21:12
  “Go in with a tone of curiosity and dispassion, but also expecting a real answer.” (Lori/Gretchen)
• Power of salary transparency: 26:29
  “My daughter knows what all of her friends make.” (Jean)

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Summary Table of Main Listeners' Questions

| Time | Topic | Core Advice | |---------|---------------------------------------------------|----------------------------------------------| | 07:33 | Asking for pageant sponsorship | Be light-hearted, present as a fun opp. | | 09:41 | Sudden bank account closure | Investigate; freeze credit; advocate | | 20:58 | Addressing pay disparity in the workplace | Face-to-face convo, curious and firm tone |

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Podcast Tone and Takeaways

The hosts offer not just practical guidance but a sense of solidarity and empathy, recognizing the emotional weight women often carry around money matters. They emphasize the value of transparency, community, and direct advocacy—reminding listeners that speaking up, even on taboo topics, is key to financial empowerment.

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Transcript

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[Jean Chatzky]

Hey everyone, thank you so much for joining us on HerMoney. I'm Jean Chatsky. This week's Mailbag is extra special, not just because we are tackling some of your most taboo, tricky and too real to say out loud money questions, but because we're welcoming back someone who feels like part of the Hermit Her Money family. Gretchen Rubin, happiness expert, New York Times bestselling author, and co host of the new Advice podcast Since you asked with writer and psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb, is joining us today. And if you've been listening to this show for a while, you might remember Gretchen was my very first guest ever on Her Money. And to this day, the episodes with Gretchen and om, I've got to say, are still among the most listened to. We're going to take a really short break. We'll be right back. This time of year can feel like a wellness roller coaster, right? Travel, family events, late nights. Your whole routine gets thrown off. That's why I've been looking for little ways to stay grounded. And one of the best tips I've gotten lately is AG1. It's the daily health drink that combines your multivitamin, pre and probiotic, superfoods and antioxidants all in one scoop. It's quick, it's clean. It actually helps you stay consistent with your health even when life gets hectic. AG1 has their best offer ever. If you head to drinkag1.comhermoney you'll get the welcome kit, a morning person hat, a bottle of vitamin D3K2, an AG1 flavor sampler, and you'll get to try their new sleep supplement AGZ for free, which has been a game changer for a lot of nightly routines. That's drinkag1.com hermoney for $126 in free gifts for new subscribers. You know, every once in a while something comes along in the money world that really makes you stop stop and say why hasn't banking always worked this way? That's how I feel when I look at what Chime is doing. They're changing the way that people bank. Really. This is fee free smarter banking that's actually built for you for what people want. Chime is not just smarter banking. It is the most rewarding way to bank Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. It takes just a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.comhermoney that's chime.comhermoney Chime is.

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[Jean Chatzky]

So Gretchen, welcome back.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, it's so great to be back and I feel such an honor being like the OG interview. I'm so happy to have the chance to talk to you again today.

[Jean Chatzky]

Me too. Before we dive into our questions and we have a few doozies, including things like what to do when your bank suddenly shuts down your account without warning and how to ask your employer to sponsor your spot in a beauty pageant without sounding cring. Tell me about since you asked, I have to acknowledge I am a huge Lori Gottlieb fan.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yeah, so Lori Gottlieb. A lot of people know her from her book maybe youe Should Talk to Someone, which was a huge bestseller. She also wrote Marry him the Case for settling for Mr. Good Enough, which sparked a lot of conversation. And she writes a Vice column she wrote in the Atlantic and then and now in the New York Times. So many people are big fans. I'm a Huge fan of her, of her writing. And I've known her for a long time. We actually went to were at college together.

[Jean Chatzky]

Wow.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Yeah.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And I love to collaborate. As a writer, you spend a lot of time by yourself, so I love opportunities to collaborate. Of course, my longtime collaborator is my sister. Yes, my co host of Happier. But collaborating with your sister is different from collaborating with a friend. It's even better in our case. But it is super fun to get to collaborate with Lori on this. And so we're doing advice because I.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Think I feel like advice. It's kind of like before and after.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It's a format where I think there's sort of limitless interest in it or like, like a procedural TV show. You're just, you just want more and more and more. But we try to do it with a fresh twist to make it kind of refresh the familiar format that everybody loves. So we're having a really good time with it.

[Jean Chatzky]

What kind of questions are coming your way? So far?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Most of ours are about relationships. So it's a lot about family relationships and friend relationships. But then we have had some funny ones with like neighbors and they're sort of all over the place. But really at the heart of it, it's relationships.

[Jean Chatzky]

Well, our questions are interesting this month, including the first one, which is fun. It comes from an anonymous listener. We let our listeners be anonymous because sometimes they don't want to ask their questions and put their names on them. And I get that. She writes, I work at a large insurance company, a top for 500 company, and I was recently selected to compete in a state pageant. I'd love to ask my company to sponsor since the fee is only $2,000. I think it could be a fun opportunity to represent my employer in a positive light. But I'm nervous about how to ask without sounding unprofessional or frankly cringe. Do you have any advice on how to make the ask with confidence and make it feel like a win win?

[Lori Gottlieb]

What an interesting question.

[Jean Chatzky]

It's interesting because pageants, man, they are polarizing.

[Lori Gottlieb]

They are.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And partly this will probably depend on like where you are because the culture.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Of your company can be very, very different. My suggestion.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And Jean, I want to hear what you say. My suggestion would be to ask, but.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Ask in a light hearted way, like, oh, I have this very fun opportunity. I would love to like represent the company and not ask in kind of like an earnest way. I think it's highly likely that the company will just say, no, we don't do that. In which Case I wouldn't take it personally. It's probably, it's just like a policy thing. But I think if you can show that it's a fun, light hearted thing, to me, that feels like the right way to approach it rather than kind of very earnestly or kind of like this is the cost benefit analysis for you, which I just feel like is the wrong way to frame a question like this. I shouldn't say wrong. I should say I don't. I would foresee it as being kind of less effective.

[Jean Chatzky]

Yeah. And I was also thinking that maybe you put it out there, kind of like I'm giving you the first shot.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Yes, that's right.

[Jean Chatzky]

I got this. I got this opportunity. I'm so excited about doing it. A lot of the other contestants are getting sponsors and before I go out and ask anybody else, I thought, boy, maybe I should ask you because I don't want you to feel as if I didn't give you the opportunity.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Right. I think that's a great idea. Yes. Often my sister who works in Hollywood always says, no one has an opinion till someone else has an opinion. So if you can create the idea that, oh, there's many people who might possibly sponsor me, that that is probably going to pique their curiosity.

[Jean Chatzky]

Yeah, I would hope so. And I think, gosh, I think it sounds. I think it sounds like fun. It reminds me of that scene from Lessons in Chemistry where. And I know that pageant was very sort of 50s and retro, but an employer getting involved in a pageant doesn't happen every day.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Yeah.

[Jean Chatzky]

Our next one comes from another anonymous listener. She's recently had an unsettling experience with her longtime bank. And she writes, I feel really vulnerable, confused, and honestly a little embarrassed even asking this. So please be gentle. Last Thursday, I got a notification from my bank, one of the major financial institutions, about a logon on my account and a note that my balance had gone to zero. I didn't see it right away, but when I did, I called the bank immediately, assuming it was fraud. That's when they told me they had closed my savings account to prevent a risk to the bank or customer. They offered no clear explanation. They just said a check had been mailed to my address for the remaining balance. Then I got a letter saying the decision was final and had been reported to check system and early warning services, which could affect my ability to open future accounts potentially for the next five years. I've been with this bank for, for 15 years. I'm a preferred honors customer. I work in a corporate job. I have two young children. And I've always followed every legal and ethical guideline. I truly don't understand what happened. What can I do? I feel totally in the dark and incredibly anxious.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Well, Gene, what do you think is going on here? This sounds absolutely bonkers.

[Jean Chatzky]

It sounds bonkers to me. But this is not the only time that I have heard of this. I've heard of. Of banks shutting down customers accounts. In fact, the New York Times did a story on it last year for a number of reasons. Sometimes they do it because these accounts are not profitable for them, that they have just decided the balance is too small, you're not doing enough business. It costs them too much to simply send you the mail. They don't want to do it anymore. I've also heard of it happening when customers are difficult. It doesn't sound like this is happening for either of those reasons. And I am both a little bit worried about this paper trail and worried about any potential impact on your credit score. It should not bleed over. These things have nothing to do with one another. Your bank record doesn't show up on your credit score. But if there's fraud, and it does sound like there might be some sort of fraud happening in your life, you gotta get your credit frozen, and you have to do it really, really quickly. And then I would get yourself to a large credit union and open an account at a credit union where you can talk to somebody that is gonna talk to you as a person rather than a number.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I mean, to me, though, first I would go to this bank. I would get all of my papers in hand. I would make an appointment. I would go in person and say, this is my history with this institution. This is my track record. And I really need to understand why you took the action that you took. And also, this is a good example of sometimes we feel really embarrassed when something happens to us. And so we feel extremely sheepish and reluctant to sort of press our claim or to ask for explanations that. Jean, nobody knows better than you, like, all the emotions that around money and how scary it is, where I'm like, thinking that you've been defrauded and no. And then you're kicked out of your bank. I'm sure you just. It just feels awful. But I think it would be helpful if only for her own peace of mind. Maybe she wouldn't want to go back to this place because, as you say.

[Jean Chatzky]

You treated her so badly.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right. And there's a better choice, but just to understand what happened, because maybe there is something sketchy going on that they're just sort of washing their hands of you. But you would really benefit from knowing like what prompted this. I mean, something kicked this into gear. And also the fact that all of this stuff is happening through the mail, which means that it's happening like in a very protracted way. I think you need to have a face to face conversation with somebody who is going to answer your questions.

[Jean Chatzky]

Yeah, I actually agree with that. And by the same token, I'd go to both check systems and early warning services and ask for your records. Right. I've never tried to request paperwork from either of these institutions, but if they have reported it to them, you should be able to get something. And this is such an interesting one that I'm going to make an offer. If you decide that you don't want to be anonymous or you're willing to not be anonymous. I read a column for AARP where I dig into real people's money problems. Now the deal is you gotta use your name and we take a picture and we use the picture and the magazine.

[Gretchen Rubin]

But do you include the dollar amounts?

[Jean Chatzky]

We don't have to include the dollar amount, but we do need to use your name. But I can then go through and I can use PR and I can get through to people at the bank and at these systems, at check systems and early warning and maybe have some if you're unsuccessful at figuring out what went on here. If you want to let me try, I will try.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Because one of the things, I would just speculate, I wonder if something's happening behind her back that she doesn't know about. She feels like I am this like honest customer. All these things are happening and yet the bank is acting as if she's doing something very sketchy or suspicious. So why do they think that? That seems like a really important, like a piece of information to try to understand because maybe this is sort of the tip of the iceberg and somebody's writing checks using your name or who knows what.

[Jean Chatzky]

That's why I think it's identity theft. That's why I think that there's, that there's some sort of fraud going on here. And that's why the freezing of your credit seems unrelated. But if your identity has been stolen, a lot of really bad things can happen. Right. Somebody who has your information can not only dig into your bank accounts, but they can apply for loans in your name, apply for jobs in your name. They can do all sorts of truly heinous things that make your life miserable. And so freezing your credit, not just putting a fraud alert on your account. Not just applying for identity theft protection, but actually freezing your accounts with all three of the major credit bureaus is something you should do now. And it's easy. That part is actually easy. We're going to take a really short break, Gretchen. When we come back, we've got another tricky money question about asking for a raise when you find out that a colleague is getting paid much more than you. We'll be right back. Okay, I have to share this because when I find something that truly changes how I feel every day, I I don't like keeping it to myself. I've been wearing Skims for months now and their Fits Everybody collection. It's pretty life changing bras and underwear for me at least. They're usually about tolerating things more than enjoying them. I've spent years dealing with straps that dig, bands that roll, underwear that just doesn't stay put. But the Fits Everybody collection feels like it was made for me. The full briefs are a game changer. Shop Skims Fits everybody [e-mail] and after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now [e-mail] feeling stuck with a bloated wireless bill? Then it's time to look at Mint Mobile. And right now it is their best deal of the year. For a limited time, you can get three, six or even 12 months of Mint's unlimited premium wireless for just $15 a month. That's 50% off. And it's a really smart move if you're looking to cut back before the holidays. No contracts, no nonsense, just high speed data, unlimited talk and text, all on the nation's largest 5G network shop Mint. Unlimited [e-mail] hermoney that's mintmobile.com hermoney Limited time offer upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 months. Plan required equivalent to $15 a month taxes and fees Extra initial plan term only over 35 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. Capable device required. Availability, speed and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com we are back with Gretchen Rubin, co host of the brand new advice podcast since you asked. All right Gretchen, this one is from Alyssa. She says I'm looking for some advice, maybe even a script. I work in a public school system in an admin role, there are no bonuses or performance incentives. And I just found out that a colleague who was hired two weeks ago with a similar work history, actually two years less than mine, is making nearly $20,000 more than I am. We are both in the same department, and while we report to different athletic directors at our respective schools, we both report to the same district ad. There are only six of us in this role across the district. We had an open, honest conversation. She supports me using this info to push for what I'm worth. I checked the district's public salary scale and somehow she was placed on the 21st tier while I'm on the fifth tier, even though I have more certified experience. When I was hired last year, HR told me verbally that each tier equates to three years of experience. None of this adds up and I'm fine, fired up. But also I'm a people pleaser. I hate confrontation and tend to shrink myself to avoid making waves, though I'm working on that in therapy. What do I do next? Who do I email? Hr, the district AD, or both? And how do I word it professionally and firmly? I'm not ready to quit, but I am prepared to apply elsewhere if I have to. They know I'd be hard to replace. But I want to handle this the right way. Way. First of all, I'm just really, really happy that your colleague was so open about her salary. This is why we have to talk about this stuff.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Yes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And supporting you and using the information.

[Lori Gottlieb]

So, yeah.

[Gretchen Rubin]

So gold star to the colleague who kind of made this disparity known to her. Here's the thing.

[Lori Gottlieb]

I don't think she should do this by email.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I think she needs to go, she.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Needs to go in and have a face to face conversation about this. Now, I don't know who the right person is. That's something that is just really depends on your situation. But one of the things I would say about that conversation is not to go in with the attitude of like, well, I have uncovered this big injustice and I want to know if you, if you have an explanation for it. Like, it's very tempting to go in and be angry and to put somebody on the defensive, but when people are on the defensive, they tend to like, want to defend their positions and argue why they're right and you really want them to see that a mistake has been made and that this needs to be fixed. So I would encourage you to use a tone of like, this doesn't make sense to me. So like, I came to you so that we can figure it out and not to overly apologize. Like, not to say, like, well, you know what? I hate to be a bother, but I can't help but notice and to act like it's not reasonable or that you're asking somebody for a favor or you're like, you know, apologizing for sort of being a squeaky wheel, but just more like this information came to light, and it just, like you said, it just doesn't add up to me. I'm really puzzled by this. And so I would. I really wanted to just talk it through with you to understand what's going on. So it's curious, it's dispassionate, but it's also firm in that you expect to get an answer, and you're not apologetic for the fact that you expect to get that answer.

[Jean Chatzky]

Well, not only does she expect to get an answer, but she's expecting to at least be brought up to the same level. And I think it's okay to be clear about that.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Okay. But, Jean, what if the other person that we don't know about the other person, maybe somebody did that person a favor and they're not at the right level. Ooh, they must think that they're at the right level because they're very open about it. But I mean, to me, it could end up that they're like, well, you know what? That person isn't supposed to be at a 21, actually.

[Jean Chatzky]

I get that. But I also think that at that point, the inequities in the system are such that they should be doing something to level the playing field. I mean, not that they should take money away from the other person, which I'm sure is not going to happen. But I'm going back to the. She was on the 21st tier while I'm on the fifth tier. Like, that clearly is where the discrepancy lies. And maybe it was a mistake that she's on the 21st tier, but maybe it's a mistake that you're on the fifth tier.

[Gretchen Rubin]

It could be either way. My only point is that I don't think you can automatically assume, oh, I'm going to be bumped up to 21, because that's the right place for me, because I don't know that you can demand that.

[Jean Chatzky]

Do you think it's worth. She said there are only six people in this position in the school district. Do you think it's worth rallying the troops?

[Gretchen Rubin]

Well, that's an interesting question. Well, but it is this taboo, right?

[Jean Chatzky]

Right, Jean.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Like, it feels Very. You really feel like you're exposing yourself, like, just as we were saying that it's so admirable and unusual that her colleague would be so forthright because you don't know what you're going to find out. But maybe because certainly if six people went in and said, what's going on.

[Jean Chatzky]

They definitely have a lot more leverage.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Leverage as to what? I mean, you're right, though, that it's unlikely that they could drop somebody's salary. It certainly seems as though the more information that you have and the more people who are going in together, the stronger your position will be in terms of getting information and getting fairness.

[Jean Chatzky]

I would think so. And even if you can't figure out what those other four people are making, my guess is you probably can figure out what level they're on. Maybe that's public information.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Interesting. That's interesting. And maybe that feels safer for people to disclose.

[Jean Chatzky]

Maybe.

[Gretchen Rubin]

And then you'd get a sense, like, is everybody else in, like, the high teens and twenties? So, like, why am I down at five?

[Jean Chatzky]

Exactly. Exactly. I think that's more information is better. As far as where to start, I totally agree with you. This is not an email situation. I'd probably start with my own athletic director rather than jumping to the uber athletic director just because I think it's often a mistake to leapfrog your own boss. That can backfire.

[Gretchen Rubin]

She also mentions hr. Should she potentially go to HR or what do you think?

[Jean Chatzky]

I think you start with your own boss.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Right.

[Jean Chatzky]

And then you can go to HR and you can also go to the district athletic director. But I think that you're right. The tone is this is clearly there's something going on that I don't understand, and I'm hoping you can help me understand it and start there.

[Gretchen Rubin]

Yes. Like, this is a discrepancy that is very puzzling. I can't. It doesn't add up. So take me through what's going on here. Yeah, that's a really surprising discovery. How great that she found out.

[Jean Chatzky]

Fantastic that she found out. And I know what you're saying about it's such a taboo to talk about salaries. People just don't do it. But younger women do it. My daughter knows what all of her friends make. Like, they just. They know. She's 27, 28 years old. They all know what each other makes.

[Gretchen Rubin]

If they're colleagues, do they know?

[Lori Gottlieb]

Or just like friends that have all different jobs. I think it's different when it's sort of the people who are your colleagues.

[Jean Chatzky]

She just left a PR firm and she knew what all of her colleagues like. The women on her level, they all knew what each other made interesting.

[Lori Gottlieb]

And I know that there's websites and things too, where people post their salaries so that you can get a sense of what the going rate is.

[Jean Chatzky]

Exactly.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Yeah, how do you know?

[Jean Chatzky]

Yeah, it's helpful too. Anyway, Alyssa, let us know what happens. I'm very, very interested in what it turns out to be.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Yes, cliffhanger.

[Jean Chatzky]

Exactly. Gretchen, thanks for doing this with me. Congrats on the new show. I hope that you have a very long and wonderful run.

[Lori Gottlieb]

Well, thank you so much, Jean. It's always so fun to talk to you.

[Jean Chatzky]

You too. If you love today's episode, please take a moment to leave us a five star review on Apple Podcast. Your favorite feedback means the world to me. And if you're ready to keep the Money conversation going, HerMoney has three amazing programs designed to help you feel more confident and in control of your money. There's Finance Fix. It's our four week coaching program that helps you rethink your spending, find hidden savings, and make smarter choices for the future. Our pre Retirement program runs for six weeks and walks you through building a retirement strategy that's personalized for your next chapter. Finally, there's Investing Fix, our investing club for women. It meets every other week on Zoom. It is a supportive space to learn, ask questions, grow your investing confidence, and build your portfolio. And your first month is absolutely free. These programs are truly helping level the playing field for women financially. I'd love for you to join us. Her Money is produced by Haley Pascalitis and our music is provided by Video Helper. Thanks so much for listening and we'll talk soon.