#364: What a Wonderful Phrase

Summary

Podcast Summary: Hey Riddle Riddle – Episode #364: "What a Wonderful Phrase"

Release Date: July 9, 2025

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1. Introduction to the Episode

In episode #364, titled "What a Wonderful Phrase," the hosts of Hey Riddle Riddle—Erin Keif, John Patrick Cohen, and Adol Refai—return to recording in person amidst an unusually sweltering Chicago summer. Balancing their trademark humor with creative riddles and improvisational scenes, the trio delivers an engaging and entertaining episode that delves deep into their improvisational prowess and collaborative spirit.

2. Recording in the Heat

The episode kicks off with the hosts discussing the challenges and absurdities of recording live in the intense Chicago heat.

• Erin Keif shares her experience about braving the heat: "I decided to come at the hottest time of the year where there's, like, a heat warning every day. My phone keeps being like, don't go outside, please." (01:43)

• John Patrick Cohen humorously exaggerates the temperature: "It is 1 million degrees outside." (01:37)

• Adol Refai adds to the banter: "I'm in my slut summer, my slummer, if you will." (14:57)

Their lighthearted exchange sets the tone for an episode filled with camaraderie and witty remarks.

3. Presenting Original Riddles

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to presenting and solving original Broadway-themed riddles crafted by Erin Keif and her friend Michael. These riddles challenge the hosts to think creatively, often resulting in humorous improvisational scenes.

• Erin Keif introduces the segment: "I have some original riddles that have a new riddle format written by my friend Michael that I also wrote some as well." (13:47)

• The riddles are designed to have dual answers—one literal and one metaphorical—adding layers of complexity and humor.

Notable Quote:

• Erin on the difficulty of the riddles: "These are hard. So I'd say between me and Michael's, maybe only two of these I think work well." (15:18)

4. Improvisational Scenes Based on Riddles

Following the riddles, the hosts engage in improvisational skits that bring the riddles to life, particularly drawing inspiration from Broadway musicals.

• Adol Refai suggests a playful scene: "JPC and Aaron, you are a married bear couple and your baby bear..." (19:12)

• The trio enacts humorous scenarios, such as a Shakespearean courtroom scene and reinterpretations of classic musical moments, blending absurdity with theatrical flair.

Notable Quote:

• John Patrick Cohen on improvisation: "This is just like that Monday morning. We're more evolved now. But we used to sometimes start recording at like 9pm and go till 1 in the morning on a Sunday night." (13:00)

5. Listener Interaction: Voicemail on Burnout

The episode features a heartfelt voicemail from a listener named Taylor, who shares her struggles with burnout—a topic that resonates deeply with the hosts.

• Taylor's Voicemail: "I'm in my mid-20s where I'm working in school and just have a lot on my plate and I love, love what I'm doing, but I'm just exhausted all of the time..." (65:07)

• The hosts respond with empathy and share their personal strategies for coping with burnout, emphasizing the importance of mental health and self-care.

Notable Quotes:

• Erin Keif on her mantra: "All I have to do is breathe and enjoy the people that I'm around. And that usually is enough to at least go, yeah." (66:11)

• John Patrick Cohen on therapy: "There is nothing like talking through your issues with a professional. It can give you, like, new perspective." (38:47)

6. Creative Process and Collaboration

Throughout the episode, the hosts discuss their creative processes, particularly how they craft riddles and collaborate on improvisational content.

• Erin Keif explains the origin of the riddles: "Michael, I have some original riddles that have a new riddle format written by my friend Michael..." (14:00)

• They explore the balance between structure and spontaneity, highlighting how their collaborative efforts enhance the show's dynamic.

Notable Quote:

• Adol Refai on the dual nature of riddles: "And one of them is a little bit more literal, and one of them is a little bit more metaphorical." (51:30)

7. Conclusion and Future Plans

The episode wraps up with the hosts discussing upcoming shows and projects, maintaining their engaging and humorous rapport.

• John Patrick Cohen announces tour details: "We went to Chicago and the Twin Cities. Those shows, we did get audio recordings from them." (72:28)

• They also promote future episodes and encourage listeners to join their Patreon for exclusive content.

Notable Quote:

• Erin Keif on their creative endeavors: "We might actually only get through the ones that Michael wrote. Thank God, because mine are significantly worse." (57:35)

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Key Takeaways and Insights

• Creative Collaboration: The synergy between Erin, John, and Adol showcases the importance of teamwork and diverse creative inputs in producing engaging content.

• Mental Health Awareness: By addressing burnout through listener interaction, the hosts highlight the significance of mental well-being, especially in creative professions.

• Humor and Improvisation: The blend of humor with improvisational skits based on riddles adds a unique flavor to the podcast, making it both entertaining and intellectually stimulating.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• "I could touch Adol's arm right now. I can kick GBC in the shins." — Erin Keif (01:18)

• "It is 1 million degrees outside." — John Patrick Cohen (01:37)

• "We kept talking over her. She wanted to get in on that Star wars bit." — Erin Keif (13:47)

• "I mark the start, I note the end. I pass around but rarely bend. I'm a part of life like stars and rain but when I'm gone none can remain." — Erin Keif (58:33)

• "All I have to do is breathe and enjoy the people that I'm around. And that usually is enough to at least go, yeah." — Erin Keif (66:11)

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Conclusion

Episode #364 of Hey Riddle Riddle seamlessly blends humor, creativity, and meaningful discussions, offering listeners a memorable experience. Whether it's tackling challenging riddles, engaging in theatrical improvisations, or addressing real-life issues like burnout, the hosts deliver content that is both entertaining and relatable. This episode exemplifies the show's unique approach to intertwining puzzles with improvisational comedy, making it a standout installment in their series.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections as per the guidelines.

Transcript

[Erin Keif]

This is a headgum podcast. You buy a pair of socks, that's two socks. You buy a pair of Bombas socks, that's four socks. Because one purchased is one donated. Socks are the number one most requested clothing item in homeless shelters. So when you buy a pair of super comfortable Bombas socks, you're also donating a pair. Bombas customers have powered over 150 million donations. So Bombas would like to thank you 150 million times, but we only have, like, 30 seconds. Go to bombas.com and use code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B A and use code audio at checkout.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice. Hey, everybody, and welcome to hey Riddle. Riddle Aaron. On your phone.

[Erin Keif]

I was putting it on airplane mode.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, on your phone to put it on airplane mode.

[Adol Refai]

You don't put it away. I'm gonna put it on airplane mode. Throws it across the room.

[Erin Keif]

I could touch Adol's arm right now. I can kick GBC in the shins.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Those are not my shins. It's a very special episode of hey Riddle of Riddle. And of course, you know, it's the podcast about riddles. There's also some improv, but it's live and in person in. Let's see. Let's timestamp this a bit. Erin, you're in town. You're in Chicago.

[Erin Keif]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We are currently not at war with Iran, but it's coming.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It is 1 million degrees outside.

[Erin Keif]

Yes. I decided to come at the hottest time of the year where there's, like, a heat warning every day. My phone keeps being like, don't go outside, please.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And that's here in keeping that saddle refine. I'm John Patrick Cohen, and this is hey Riddle. Riddle the podcast.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, anywhere you go, it's the hottest time of the year.

[Erin Keif]

Wow. I broke everything out loud.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, no.

[Erin Keif]

This feels really weird, strange, and uncomfortable. To be in person.

[Adol Refai]

Yes. Yeah, let's.

[John Patrick Cohen]

To sit in your skin. You mean. You mean to be a person? Yeah, to be a person. To exist as a person.

[Erin Keif]

I do believe that, though. I think that my natural form is. I'm sort of like a pink glittery mist that decided to be a person for a while. And it hurts. I don't like it. I can't wait to go back to being a mistake.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. I always think of myself as, like, a gargoyle where I'm Like, I love being still and observing and I love being on roofs, but I don't want to be moving around.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I think of myself as that puddle that Alex Mack becomes.

[Adol Refai]

That's still Alex Mack.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, is it?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We don't know.

[Erin Keif]

We don't know water is still water even when it's ice.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, we don't know. But we actually don't know, because when Alex Mack becomes that puddle, we don't know that the Alex Mack that grows out of the puddle is the same Alex Mack or like a brand new Alex Mack with the memories of the old Alex Mack.

[Erin Keif]

Well, then if it's the same. Like, if it's a brand new but they have the same Mack, isn't it essentially the same one?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, the point is moot because I don't want to be Alex Mech. I want to be the puddle.

[Adol Refai]

Well, let's talk about Theseus's Alex Mack.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Theseus's Alex Mack.

[Adol Refai]

At what point? How many boards do you remove? So this is like a prestige situation, right?

[Erin Keif]

Illusionist. You're gonna Illusionist. No, no, I'm joking.

[Adol Refai]

Prestigious.

[John Patrick Cohen]

They built a brand new Jessica Biel every day for that movie. And Edward Norton never knew the difference. He said, this is the same Jessica Biel. And they said, yes, this is the same Jessica Biel. And everyone's just, hehe, snickering like a cartoon dog.

[Erin Keif]

They didn't pay Paul Giamatti on that movie because they couldn't because they were using the budget on building new Jessica Beals.

[Adol Refai]

I don't think Paul Giamatti gets paid.

[Erin Keif]

No, no, no.

[Adol Refai]

I think it's like when they have like a monkey on Friends or something.

[Erin Keif]

Where they're like, you don't think they paid that. No, they paid that monkey. I went to that monkey's New Year's party this year.

[Adol Refai]

Excuse me.

[Erin Keif]

Because they live in the hills, obviously off of the residuals and Friends, and there was so much cocaine.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't mean to do it. I don't mean to do a ship of Theseus Mack on that monkey era, but that monkey is deceased.

[Erin Keif]

No, no, no, no. That monkey is very much alive.

[Adol Refai]

Decisis is it has hair plugs.

[Erin Keif]

It looks insane.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It says a capsaic monkey.

[Adol Refai]

It was a turkey.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A capsaicin monkey can live up to 10 years.

[Adol Refai]

What about a coaxation monkey?

[John Patrick Cohen]

It says a coaxation monkey can have the night of its life.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, I always see that monkey at Musso and Frank's, just with a different girl every time.

[Adol Refai]

Stevie Nicks one night, the Monkey from.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Friends has other credits too. Yeah, Outbreak. It's the monkey from Outbreak as well. Yes.

[Adol Refai]

Which is in the monkeyverse. Can I say that?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

In the monkeyverse, Casey Bleep. Outbreak is like their Citizen Kane.

[Erin Keif]

Right.

[Adol Refai]

Like, that's Godfather 2 for monkeys.

[Erin Keif]

That monkey did like four years on Grey's Anatomy then got killed off. He's been around the block.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Who didn't, though? Honestly, Grey's Anatomy went on way too long. I also did not.

[Erin Keif]

It's still happening. It's 20 years in Sedilla.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Ever do Grey's Anatomy?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hell, yeah.

[Adol Refai]

She was a cadaver, I think.

[Erin Keif]

Is that real?

[Adol Refai]

She was maybe a dead body on.

[John Patrick Cohen]

She'd been a corpse in Chicago. Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

She's been on Chicago Hope twice. Once as maybe, like, a person who dies, and then once as some sort of worker of a city bureaucratic worker or something.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Sure. They say the best two days of any actor's life is the day that you die on Chicago Hope and the day that you're a city bureaucratic worker on Chicago Hope.

[Adol Refai]

They say you die three times. Once when you physically pass away, once when someone says your name for the last time, once when you get your last residual check for Chicago Hope, you hit the screen on Chicago and Fleetwood Max the Ching.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The roll credits would have never love you again.

[Adol Refai]

Is that the credits for Chicago Hope?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hell, yeah.

[Erin Keif]

I didn't know that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

There's no way. It is. It's too expensive.

[Erin Keif]

The worst panic attacks I had in Chicago and I had a lot was.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And we're going through your top 10, right?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah. Here's the top 10, Letterman style, holding.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A Johnny Carson envelope next to my head.

[Erin Keif]

You're confusing multiple things here.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Sure.

[Erin Keif]

I went to. I think it was Chicago Fire. It was one of the Chicago.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's the Chicago professional soccer. Soccer team.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah. And it was two hours to get there because it was like southeast by. I didn't have a car. I had to take the train. It was like two hours to get there, maybe a little longer. And then I went in and I had to say one line, and it was like, hey, back up. There were no survivors. And I said it and I did it once and they went, okay, thank you, Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

No judgment. Did you say it just like you said it now?

[Erin Keif]

I don't want to say it with.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A Boston accent and funny.

[Erin Keif]

Hey, back up. There were no salivas.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Big wink to the camera. I think I went big wink to the camera.

[Erin Keif]

And I didn't get it. But also I looked and was like, oh, my God. It's two and a half hours back. I took the day off from nannying. I don't know. I'm gonna. How am I gonna make rent? This is such a nightmare. And I, the whole way back was like, felt like I was going to pass out. I was like, what a waste.

[Adol Refai]

If I was a casting agent, I would win. Win.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Thank you.

[Adol Refai]

When I'm a casting agent.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Believe in yourself.

[Adol Refai]

When I'm a casting agent, I want people to tell me stuff like that. Where like when they come in and say the one line, it's like, okay, that's whatever. I don't care. What's the story of today? And you're like, I took the day off work. I traveled two hours each way. And I'm like, you got it. You got the job.

[Erin Keif]

Not only that, but the people I nanny for, they had to stay home. They couldn't find last minute childcare. And that's such a nice. They affected so many people's day.

[Adol Refai]

I would put together maybe the worst episode of TV of all time. Cause I'm going off of sob stories. But up top, before the episode, it's.

[Erin Keif]

Like a bunch of people's broken arms.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The Midwest polite casting director.

[Adol Refai]

I'm like, no, it's fine. But before credits or maybe every time we go to commercial break, I want to post on the TV those sob stories so people get a sense of like, oh, this is why I thought I hated that character or that actor. But I didn't realize that this was their story. So I feel like that would be really fun.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I watched Star Wars Episode 1 recently, and after the credits hit, there's like a big, like, you know, explainer text that comes up. It's the Star wars crawl. But it just is like Jake Lloyd's parents were actually a lot. And it's not really his fault because most of what you see on screen is like projections from his parents were kind of making him.

[Adol Refai]

There's a reason. But Cauley Culkin doesn't act much anymore.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm sitting there watching, I go, okay, yeah, I like this movie a little better.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And then at the end it goes Jerjeer Banks, huh? Well, that one got away from us.

[Erin Keif]

If someone's bored at work right now and you know how to make that Star wars scroll, can you please put what jpeg on this scene?

[John Patrick Cohen]

There's gotta be some easy way to.

[Adol Refai]

Make I love in the credits.

[Erin Keif]

It's like, I would fucking die.

[Adol Refai]

The movie's not even released yet. And they say Jar Jar Binks Ooh, that one got away from us. And it's like, there's still time. If you could put. If you could put Chris Crawler.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A galaxy at war. The Imperial Trade Federation is blockading the planet of Naboo. Also on Naboo, Jar Jar Binks. Now, hold on, because now did I. The actor who plays him is black. Not that it matters. You're sitting there, it's 1999. You're watching the scroll, and you're like, oh, this is gonna be the worst movie I've ever seen.

[Erin Keif]

This is going on way too long.

[Adol Refai]

Some of these aliens look like a certain race, but we didn't mean for that.

[Erin Keif]

So any. Anyways, enjoy the film.

[John Patrick Cohen]

So anyway, enjoy the film. Oh, and this is. Hey, Rid of.

[Adol Refai]

Please don't do Jar Jar Binks patois. Please avoid the Jar Jar patois.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Rewatching Episode one, which I have recently. And knowing in your heart that the Jar Jar Binks voice is not even the worst of the voices in that movie. Oh, boy.

[Erin Keif]

My least favorite Star wars character of all time is the robot with the cough. I fucking General Grievous.

[Adol Refai]

That's my word. Cause I'm like, why are we giving a robot a cough?

[Erin Keif]

Horrible.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, why wouldn't we?

[Adol Refai]

If we have the technology and he has. Doesn't he have, like four arms or something?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, everything about him. He's my least favorite fictional character of all time.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, I agree with you.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's insane. What an insane take.

[Adol Refai]

I agree. But here's the thing is, on the opposite side of the spectrum, on the other side of the coin, I think the best character of all time is Sebulba.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, Sebulba's fun.

[Erin Keif]

Which one is that?

[Adol Refai]

He's the guy who walks on his hands and drives with his feet. He's a Podracer. He's the pod. He's the messy of pod racing.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, well, one of my favorite.

[Erin Keif]

Somewhere messy, perhaps Apocryphal.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm not.

[Adol Refai]

Shivers.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't mind saying if this is not true, I don't mind spreading it around. But there was some. It was like Star Wars Force Awakens or some video game that they brought George Lucas on to do, like, a writing credit on. And they're, like, sitting at the table and they're pitching them the idea for the game. They're like, what we really need for the villain of this game is, like, his Darth name. You know, he's gonna be a Sith. What do you think his name should be?

[Adol Refai]

Sith MacFarlane.

[John Patrick Cohen]

He said Sith MacFarlane and George Lucas thought about it for a while and he was like, I'd either go with Darth Icky or Darth Insanius.

[Erin Keif]

Oh, I wanna die.

[Adol Refai]

Did he ever have it or did he lose it?

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's so interesting to think. Cause, yeah, you know what? I don't know. I mean, he had something. I think he was.

[Erin Keif]

I think he liked computers.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I think he likes computers.

[Erin Keif]

I think that's sort of how it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Ended, like in thx and like, he did that stuff. But I think he was like. I think he was always a better businessman than he was a creative or even a director.

[Adol Refai]

Well, I believe that the movie should be. Any movie should be sort of run like a business, I think. I mean, he countries.

[John Patrick Cohen]

He truly did like. Cause I think that he financed Episode one by himself, which is why it was such a mess, because he didn't have a studio being like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He just did it all.

[Erin Keif]

In that studio. Would have gone, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[John Patrick Cohen]

20Th Century Fox would be like, I'm gonna lose my fucking job. I'm gonna lose my job. No, I don't think he ever had it. But, you know, nobody ever has it, right? Like, you know, you just. And no movies are made by one person, right? It's always.

[Adol Refai]

They're made by Ari Aster.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's right.

[Adol Refai]

Damn near killed her.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I was also thinking, like, Eddie Murphy, the clumps, pretty damn near. Basically one guy.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah. Think back to that set. He's holding the boom mic.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What if he was? He's doing, like, Hercules and making fart sounds as the boom bike guy. They're like, eddie, like, only the people on stage are gonna be seen in the movie.

[Erin Keif]

We're worried about you. Rest. Eddie. Eddie, please, you're overextending yourself.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Eddie, please, your kids are here.

[Adol Refai]

Please, they're crying.

[Erin Keif]

Please, Eddie, I'm begging to see you. Eddie, please.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, well, hey, so this is. How many times do I.

[Erin Keif]

How many times it's. Hey, Riddle, Riddle.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't think I should introduce the.

[Erin Keif]

Podcast, but we're here together in person and we're just enjoying it, okay?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, we're just enjoying it.

[Erin Keif]

Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Get off our fucking butts and backs and dicks and butts, dude.

[Erin Keif]

If you're one of those lunatics. Sorry, that is binging. Hey, Riddle, Riddle. And listening to, like eight episodes a day. You might remember a time when we were all in person. We would record on Sunday nights.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is just like that.

[Erin Keif]

And this Is just like that Monday morning. We're more evolved now. But we used to sometimes start recording at like 9pm and go till 1 in the morning on a Sunday night. And now we're back in that kind of madness and let's see how it goes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And we have a guest in the studio. Wouldn't that be fucked if we just did this for 15 minutes?

[Erin Keif]

It's like the most famous person.

[Adol Refai]

Go ahead and say something.

[Erin Keif]

We got Hillary Clinton here with us today.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hillary Clinton sitting there on the fourth mic just, like doing, like, the neck cut. Like, I don't want to be.

[Erin Keif]

To make eye contact with her publicist that's in the next room on her phone. She's like, maria, please, please.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We know you're texting each other. Who else could you be texting? Who else would you be texting? Get me out of here right now.

[Erin Keif]

We kept talking over her. She wanted to get in on that Star wars bit.

[John Patrick Cohen]

She had so much stuff.

[Erin Keif]

All right, Okay. I have later on in this some original riddles.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, good.

[Erin Keif]

That have a new riddle format written by my friend Michael that I also wrote some as well.

[Adol Refai]

Whoa.

[Erin Keif]

But for now, I wanna do warmup riddles. And I know the theme of this. Seems like I should have been on the receiving end of these warmup riddles. But I saw the. What is it called? Subject of the email.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Subject of the email.

[Erin Keif]

I was too curious and I clicked on it. And then I was like, well, I've already clicked on it, so I can't.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Once you've clicked on it, you can't unclick on it.

[Erin Keif]

So these are Broadway. Sorry. I'll just stand at Casey's phone to take probably a candid shot of us.

[Adol Refai]

I was trying to be so subtle.

[Erin Keif]

We're all in person. I can see you better than I ever.

[Adol Refai]

You should be only looking at my from the neck up.

[Erin Keif]

I'm trying.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, that's on you.

[Erin Keif]

Don't dress so slutty if you don't want me.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Are we gonna talk about it? Speaking of dress slutty, we were talking about this. Cause it is 100 million degrees in Chicago. And we were like, okay, so it's gonna be hot. We're gonna be in a studio. We have to dress appropriately. Aaron and I, I would say we both have tank tops on.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Adol.

[Adol Refai]

I'm in my slut summer, my slummer, if you will.

[Erin Keif]

It looks like the dead of winter.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Long pants, full crew cut, wool socks, two shirts. Insane.

[Erin Keif]

Okay, I'm sorry I said you dressed like a Slut. You look fantastic. And Sluts are great. I'm digging myself.

[Adol Refai]

Can that be the title of this episode?

[Erin Keif]

No.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And Sluts are great. And Sluts are great.

[Adol Refai]

That makes sense. Erin. That makes sense.

[Erin Keif]

Okay, these are Broadway musical riddles.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Ooh, yeah. Erin.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron. Aaron. You'll answer these?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah. Nope. I think that these are well known enough that you guys can get them.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I guess we'll fucking see.

[Erin Keif]

And these.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What are the Broadway musicals that I know?

[Adol Refai]

You just saw Hadestown.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No.

[Adol Refai]

You didn't see it?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I didn't see it. Moana.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Encanto.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Are you counting in.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, yeah, I'm counting in Space French.

[Erin Keif]

These are from Lauren. And Lauren says, here's to a thousand more years of. Hey, riddle, riddle. Which is sort of the cruelest.

[Adol Refai]

I've signed a sheet to freeze my head and do riddles.

[Erin Keif]

Oh, boy.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A thousand more years. I'll commit to it.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'll do the podcast for a thousand more years.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron.

[Erin Keif]

Yep. I could do another 18 minutes. Yeah, same joke. Okay. Okay. I have some change. One letter Broadway show riddles. This was a category on Jeopardy, and it was so fun. I wrote some more. And I actually saw this category in Jeopardy. Recently.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And did you think it was so fun?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Then why didn't you write some more?

[Erin Keif]

Oh, I was too busy writing. It was literally the same night that I wrote the Lou story. So I was a little busy.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Erin Keif]

Trying to figure out what rhymes with what. Here's the example.

[Adol Refai]

Okay.

[Erin Keif]

Skimbleshanks wears a fedora and a magical and magical Mr. Mistoffeles dons a beret. You got it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hats. This is Hats the Musical.

[Erin Keif]

All right, so you get it. And these are from Lauren. Okay. For Easter, these New York bohemians are giving up their apartment payments. Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wow.

[Adol Refai]

526,600 fishes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yep. Uh huh. What are some. And Aaron, just a couple more songs from Lint.

[Erin Keif]

Oh, yeah, this is easy.

[Adol Refai]

Let's open up a.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Open up a restaurant on Ash Wednesday. That worked out, by the way, pretty well. I know when I started it, I didn't know where I was going.

[Adol Refai]

Ash Wednesday.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Now here's the. Here's the thing. I do not know if Ash Wednesday is even around lint, if it's part of lint or if it's a completely different time of the year, but I gotta say, pretty good. Pretty good.

[Erin Keif]

In this Cervantes adaptation, Don Quixote loves his green tea while fighting windmills.

[Adol Refai]

The man of La Mancha. The man of La Macha.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Man of La Macha.

[Adol Refai]

That's a good one.

[Erin Keif]

Quixote, the Lord of la macha.

[Adol Refai]

That's JPC's ringtone. What are the books you've consumed? I feel like you talk about that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wait, what? Hold on. What am I.

[Adol Refai]

Don't you talk about Don Quixote a lot as like you read it and it's funny.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What the fuck?

[Adol Refai]

Come on.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The fuck is going on? I've never. First of all, I've never read Don Quixote.

[Adol Refai]

You always mention who's the sidekick?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Sancho Panza.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, you always talk about Santa Panza.

[Adol Refai]

You always talk about Sancho Panza.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is the most gaslit I've ever been in my entire life.

[Erin Keif]

You're obsessed with Sancho Panza.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm obsessed with Sancho Panza.

[Erin Keif]

This is like the thing when we did the past life reading and you were like, I went to this lady and all she talked about was horses. And you're like, that's all you're fucking talking about.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Control F on the fucking scripts of when I've talked about Sancho Panza.

[Erin Keif]

Okay, if I. I'm gonna spend the.

[Adol Refai]

Next week finding control F. Is that just tantric?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I've got great F. Control. Can't control my D or my C. For. For shit.

[Erin Keif]

But my F. Jason Robert Brown's exploration of a marriage falling apart is now full of grizzlies.

[Adol Refai]

Five Bears later. No, what's the. Oh, shit.

[Erin Keif]

You got it. I know you know it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What's the musical name? I can't help you out.

[Adol Refai]

I thought it was five years later, but I'm the Last Five Bears.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The Last Five Bears.

[Adol Refai]

I do want to see a scene.

[Erin Keif]

Okay, great.

[Adol Refai]

JPC and Aaron, you are a married bear couple and your baby bear. You like things one way, you like things another certain way. The baby's sort of a mix of the two of you, and you're having a meeting to discuss how your child's a little off.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I just think we have to be on the same page about these things.

[Erin Keif]

Oh, yeah. Okay, so when we get a call from the school that our kid is playing dice, playing cards, has a gambling problem.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Erin Keif]

What parent famously has a gambling problem?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't know. Well, okay, first of all, it's not a gambling problem if you win almost over half the time.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, Then it's actually a career.

[Erin Keif]

Right.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Would you say that someone who does a World Series of Poker has a gambling problem?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, well, I didn't know that. Okay, so you would say that. Yeah, so that was my argument.

[Erin Keif]

And so like. But. And Then also for your first reaction to be, if they get kicked out of school, that's a win because I gambled away their college funds.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You think that part of it could be sending them to school and the only breakfast they've had is one hot pot of honey? Could that be part of it? Cause I would like to do, like, balanced breakfast. Salmon berry from tree.

[Erin Keif]

That's not always a problem.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Worm from log.

[Erin Keif]

Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Just honey for breakfast. Maybe that's like a thousand, you know, grams of sugar.

[Erin Keif]

Okay. Maybe husband is too busy in Vegas. In the world. What is it called? Lazy River.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, why is I get a bear job on my birthday and Father's Day.

[Adol Refai]

We see the baby bear peeking around the corner, crying, tears in his eyes.

[Erin Keif]

You know what? I think that that's just right.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, you think that's just right?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, maybe I gotta call up Goldilocks.

[Erin Keif]

I've been thinking and see what she does every time.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What's that?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, I've been faking it every time. Remember when I told you I was hibernating? I wasn't hibernating. I was just trying to avoid having bear sex with you.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You spent four months avoiding having bear sex with me, pretending to be asleep. Yeah, I was hibernating. Maybe this is why you're such a bear bitch.

[Erin Keif]

Okay, justice for the bear.

[Adol Refai]

I put a pine cone in my ass and fake sleep for four months to get out of sex.

[Erin Keif]

We've all done. Okay?

[Adol Refai]

I lost 80 pounds to not have sex with you.

[Erin Keif]

Jason Robert Brown. Oh, we already did that. Oh, Aaron. Skip that one then.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron, let's not do one that we've already done. Let's do a new one.

[Erin Keif]

As Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote. Don't online RSVP for me, Argentina.

[Adol Refai]

Evita.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, and you love it.

[Adol Refai]

That rules. Rachel Zegler is Evita.

[Erin Keif]

This Rachel Ziegler playing Evita has reignited my love for the song Rainbow High. And now I'm listening to it nonstop. I have to get off of that. My Evita train and get back on my Jesus Christ Superstar train. Because we're seeing it.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, we are.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yes. Finally an in for me. Yes. Yes, we are seeing it. Soon we're seeing it.

[Erin Keif]

And you know that musical.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I know Jesus Christ Superstar very well. Is that gonna be one of them?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, maybe. Or maybe maybe not.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I don't know. Evita. And Rachel Ziegler is in an Evita movie. Or she's on Broadway doing it.

[Erin Keif]

She's on the West End doing it. And it's getting a lot of Attention. Because.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Cause we're talking about it.

[Erin Keif]

Because we're talking about it. But she Don't Cry for Me, Argentina, which I'm sure you know that song too.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Don't cry from the Argentina.

[Erin Keif]

There you go. This production has her going outside the theater, like on top of the theater and sing on the balcony and singing it to the crowd, whatever crowd is out there for free during the show. And they film it.

[Adol Refai]

No. And some people are pissed cause they're like, I pay tickets to see the show and we don't get to see the show.

[Erin Keif]

But everyone I know who saw it said it worked really well. And then she does the reprise inside so they felt like that they weren't out.

[Adol Refai]

I saw Sunset Boulevard and one of the songs is the guy walking through Time Square sun. And they film him every night. They film him live. And we as an audience watch it on like a screen on stage. And it is really cool.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Are they watching it on a screen in the audience? Because it would be awesome if they just had to sit in silence for three minutes while she sings that. And they could kind of hear it.

[Adol Refai]

They're buying drinks and snacks.

[John Patrick Cohen]

If you go out to the lobby.

[Adol Refai]

You can hear it better song.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I know, but everybody rushes the lobby for that song so they could like hear it a little better. Concessions gets fucked.

[Erin Keif]

That's so funny. I don't know why this reminds me of this. I went to a wedding this past weekend and I thought I was like, if I still made sketches, I'd make this into a sketch. I was on the dance floor and dancing and I was like, I would love to hear what this sounds like. If the music audio came out and just us like sort of half singing the lyrics at each other and being like, woo. Because I think it would sound so embarrassing. And I'd say just be like, I don't care. Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Have you seen the I don't care.

[Erin Keif]

Woo. I love it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It.

[Adol Refai]

There's a series on YouTube that's the.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Song, by the way, that you don't know the words to. I don't know the words. That's just.

[Adol Refai]

I don't care.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I love it. I don't care.

[Adol Refai]

And I drove my bridge over a car today.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, so here's the problem. Oh my God. How do you drive a bridge? I drove my bridge over a car today.

[Adol Refai]

There's a YouTube series from like 15 years ago. Casey knows it where it's like not. Maybe not popular, but they take music videos and stuff and take out the the track and add in what they Thought it sounded like, live on. So it's like the Beach Boys singing I get around, and they're clapping and all you hear is, like, the offbeat clapping. And then they're like, it's.

[Erin Keif]

That's so fun.

[Adol Refai]

It's a laugh every time. I never don't laugh.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's basically how Aaron sings every song.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Wait a minute.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, you guys, I'm a vibes person. I don't know about the nitty Gritty. I don't know about these lyrics that you guys keep claiming.

[Adol Refai]

You're like Weird Al but mumbling.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, and where is my millions of dollars, huh?

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is actually a pastiche, Mumble. It's not a parody.

[Adol Refai]

Mumble. I think you should mumble in the style Mumbling Sons. Aaron, I think you should do weddings and you should be like, dan banned or something. Where it's like, you do covers, but the way your signature is like, right, Aaron. You just do that for every song.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I think that'd be a hit. Aaron. You only do request, so you just. The band knows the songs, but you just pull a thing out of the thing. You go, okay, we're gonna do Total Eclipse of the Heart by Pat Benatar. Whoever sings, that's not Pat Benatar, is it?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, I think it is.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay. It could be.

[Erin Keif]

Give me inner Crest. I could do it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I thought it means.

[Adol Refai]

If you do, but you drive me crazy.

[Erin Keif]

I don't know that song.

[Adol Refai]

How about.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, you have to say the name of the song. Don't you do. Don't just do the thing that she's.

[Adol Refai]

Supposed to do, Aaron. Toxic by Britney Spears.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, that's part without lyrics, Aaron. That part doesn't even have lyrics.

[Adol Refai]

Hold on. She's onto something. She's onto. I can't stress enough if someone can do the Star wars scroll crawl credits, but with what Aaron just did.

[Erin Keif]

I just put this over the music video.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Now I like it better Now I like it better that Aaron singing the melody of the song, not the lyrics. She's like. She gets under pressure. She's like.

[Erin Keif]

The best compliment I get. The best compliment I get from doing hey, Riddle. This was like, seven years ago is I did the Pretty Little Liars theme song. I did my best attempt at it, and people are like, that is the lyrics I still hear.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, interesting.

[Adol Refai]

That's the lyrics again.

[Erin Keif]

And a secret and I lock it and this time I stay and you put it in your pocket and this girl's in a grave. Nailed it. Okay. Yeah, you can come see my production of Mumbling Evita in Winnemac park this week. 1:30 in the morning.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It was a couple weeks ago.

[Erin Keif]

Please bring me boxed wine.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Boxed wine.

[Erin Keif]

Okay. In this Elton John and Tim Rice musical. Simba is into some freaky stuff.

[Adol Refai]

The lion kink.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, you got it. See, you can participate in this.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Kingy Boots.

[Erin Keif]

I'd like to finish. You're both Timon and Pumbaa. You can decide who is who.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay?

[Erin Keif]

And one of you is gonna reveal to the other. That you have some, like, maybe unusual kinks that the other didn't know about.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, I feel so dirty. I was wallowing in the mud. I feel so. So I should. I should probably wash this off, right?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I mean, wash it off. If you want to wash it off.

[Adol Refai]

I mean, if it's just between you and me. If we're just in the watering hole.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Nathan Lane. Nathan Lane.

[Adol Refai]

I actually don't. Other guy. The guy who played Pumbaa.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, you'll never pull it. You could have pulled Lane. You could have pulled Lane, but you'll never pull Pumbaa.

[Adol Refai]

It's probably the same guy who played Gimli, right? Probably.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Scene is a mess. John Rees Davies.

[Adol Refai]

But I think, actually, I might just leave the mud on because it makes me feel sexy.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Pumbaa, if you want to leave the mud on because it makes you feel sexy, you should leave the mud on.

[Adol Refai]

Okay?

[John Patrick Cohen]

But if you feel like you need to take the mud off. And you want to put it in this little cup. And then not care what happens to the little cup. Even if someone's very thirsty, you don't ask what happens to the little cup. You can do that as well.

[Adol Refai]

Writes on a piece of paper.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What the fuck?

[Adol Refai]

Writes on a piece of paper. Come on, my titties. Shows it to Aaron. Waits for her reaction. Puts a question mark. Aaron, is that okay? If I sing that?

[Erin Keif]

I slide back a piece of paper. It says $10 million.

[Adol Refai]

I look at it. I nod.

[Erin Keif]

Whoa.

[Adol Refai]

Won't do the song. Won't sing her. Come on my titties Grabs the piece of paper.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Come on, my titties what a wonderful phrase. Scene.

[Adol Refai]

Eight colors per scene.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I can say scene.

[Erin Keif]

Keep going.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Do. All right. Scenes for real. Scene. Do Nathan Lane. Someone do Nathan Lane.

[Erin Keif]

Oh, hold on.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, no. The bird cage. Oh, it's the birdcage. I'm Nathan Lane.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is this Nathan Lane?

[Adol Refai]

I was in the Producers.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Does he have the warbler?

[Erin Keif]

When you see a gara screech for stars in the sky. You can bet that she's doing it for some Doll.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, but do. But do Nathan Lane without singing.

[Erin Keif]

Ugh.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. Cause that's Timon. Timon is Nathan Lane without singing.

[Erin Keif]

Why didn't I just draw them a map? That's pretty good.

[Adol Refai]

Wait, can we do the scene over and we'll do Timon as Seth Rogen? Wait, I'll be Seth Rogen. And then who played the Billy Eichner?

[Erin Keif]

Billy Eichner. Hey. Actually, no, thank you. Did you know what that felt like? You know the scene in Community where Troy goes to get the pizza?

[Adol Refai]

No.

[Erin Keif]

And he comes back and the room's on fire and someone's been shot, and he's like, yeah, yeah. That's how that felt coming. I, like, felt like I turned around for one second and then you guys had made a mess of that scene.

[Adol Refai]

Masterpiece. Oh, what'd you say?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Billy Eichner would be a good Timon.

[Erin Keif]

I come on my titties. What a wonderful friend.

[Adol Refai]

Seeing that Casey kept on.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I think you. What a wonderful phrase.

[Erin Keif]

No passing crazy. It means I'm horny.

[Adol Refai]

Tim Rice is rolling over in his bed.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It means I'm horny in a very specific way.

[Erin Keif]

It's our problem. Free philosophy.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Come on, you gotta change more words.

[Erin Keif]

No, I don't.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You do. You need to.

[Erin Keif]

Come on. I don't have to change any words. I think it works just fine. Don't start cumming my titties and get mad when I start having fun.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You come on my titties.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, if we write the lion come.

[Erin Keif]

Period, they'll fall in love. And here's the bottom line. They're coming on their titties. Huh?

[Adol Refai]

I'm gonna come. Not yet.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Sitting down to write the lion come and then being like, okay, so they're kids for the first 40 minutes of this.

[Adol Refai]

I'm gonna bust a mighty load.

[Erin Keif]

This is bad. This is bad.

[Adol Refai]

Well, I' cocker balls with quite so little hair. Aaron, is this good?

[Erin Keif]

Hi. Hi, you guys. I keep.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Keep a towel by the side of the bed. Be prepared.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, we just got nominated for a Tony. Aaron, we got a Nominated for Tony.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A Casey Tony, which is worth nothing. Casey, Tony's nominating us for mini Casey. Tony.

[Adol Refai]

Arabian Nuts.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, wait.

[Adol Refai]

Come ladden cum laudin Arabian night.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I just came. I'm gonna come.

[Adol Refai]

You ain't never gonna come on me.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Commercial, commercial, Commercial break. We gotta go on a break. All right. Bon voyage, Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

Geez.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Can you believe this?

[Adol Refai]

Have fun.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A steamship to Antarctica.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. Wild. It's weird that she packed a suitcase just full of penguins. You think she'd bring clothes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

But yeah, it is it. I can never remember is it they have those there or that's the place that they don't have.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, maybe they don't have them and she's trying to bring them there.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm not quite seed them or something. Yeah, I didn't read her email. It's something about finding a medicine for the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah or something for her blah blah, blah condition.

[Adol Refai]

Or something for penguin psychosis. Anyway, I'm getting pretty hungry and I could use some food. Maybe we should have some Tempo.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, yeah. I mean, we should definitely have some Tempo because Tempo's perfectly portioned. Lunches and dinners take the guest work out of eating well and are fully prepared and can be heated in the microwave in just three minutes.

[Adol Refai]

And with new recipes each week that are made with real ingredients and nutrient rich, they make it easy to keep up a healthy lifestyle. Jbc this week I had Tempo's filet mignon and creamy mushroom sauce. Mm, mm, mm. Absolutely delicious. Also, I've been loving their spicy chipotle beef and sweet potato bowl. Spicy chipotle beef and sweet potato bowl.

[John Patrick Cohen]

That's the kind of meal that could completely make me forget about my friend who's going to a place with a thing with a suitcase full of something for some reason. Also, speaking of reasons, you know that Tempo is the official partner of the 2025 CrossFit Games. They deliver fresh chef crafted dietitian approved meals right to your door. Plus, they're packed with protein and their delicious meals help keep you fueled and ready for your next workout. Aaron probably should have packed some Tempo.

[Adol Refai]

Meals before I slip some into her bag.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, perfect. Those penguins are going to be ravaging those Tempo meals.

[Adol Refai]

For a limited time, Tempo is offering our listeners 60% off your first box. Go to tempomeals.com riddle that's tempomeals.com riddle for 60% off your first box, tempomeals.com riddle rules and restrictions may apply.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I also think that there are rules and restrictions for getting on that boat because it seems sort of like a big science vessel and. And Aaron will be okay.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. Or it might turn into like the thing.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The thing is what I was thinking.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. Oh, gpc. I feel so silly. Aaron went to go visit her Aunt Arctica. You know how in Boston they all have crazy names?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, yeah. And crazy accents. I can barely understand a word she says.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Adol Refai]

Anyway, her aunt lives in Antarctica and that makes sense. Seems like Aaron is having a bit of the thing situation going on, but I feel very relaxed because I have been dabbling in some Schedule 35. Have you heard?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, Schedule 35. Now, I had heard Adol, that there's an emerging movement around psilocybin is proven to help with mental health, ptsd, anxiety, and depression. And I can see how you'd have a little anxiety and depression about, you know, our co host just going to her aunt's Antarctica or whatever.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. And she might be like a thing, like one of those. Anyway, Schedule 35 sends you precisely measured microdoses of psilocybin that you can take daily to enhance your day. Especially if, like, your friend's going through a stressful time and keeps kind of leaning on you and you're like, I don't know, man.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. And schedule 35 ships all across Canada and the US and is the most notable brand currently in the space. Speaking of ships, the ship that she took to do her, like, whatever, the thing thing. And I think it's better that it's becoming a the thing thing, because honestly, she could meet Kurt Russell.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, yeah, right.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Kurt Russell. Right. I'm not wrong about that. Right.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. And Erin's a bit of a Goldie Hawn type, so we'll see how that plays out. But I feel better than ever. I feel like anytime I take schedule 35, I feel relaxed, I feel creative, I feel sort of on top of my game. So it's been a real treat. No offense, Aaron.

[John Patrick Cohen]

All products come with guides that make microdosing easy to understand. All customers need to be age verified. And once you're age verified, 19 plus in Canada, 21 plus in the United States, you will receive an invite code. And for all of the products to get an invite code, visit www.schedule35co.

[Adol Refai]

Hey, boys, it's me, Kurt Russell. Get 15% off with code RIDDLE at schedule35co. That's 15% off at schedule35co. And use code riddle and enjoy my son in this summer's movie.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You know what? I don't hate your son. I think he's fine.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, he's actually. He always plays like kind of a. You know, I don't kind of.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. Of all the sons of the famous things, I think there's really. He's. I don't mind him. Yeah, agreed, agreed. From his dad. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[Erin Keif]

Okay, guys, now I can hang out. I just sat in the sun for a little while. Whoa. Drinking water.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yikes.

[Erin Keif]

No, I look fantastic. I just normally look very sick. And that's why you're Confused. But I'm taking care of myself this summer.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is you healthy?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah. Me healthy?

[John Patrick Cohen]

I gots to have.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, well, it's not just my outer health. It's my inner health as well.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, like your guts and your tummy? Carrots. Eating carrots?

[Erin Keif]

No, no, my brain. My brain. I've been using BetterHelp, which is online therapy. And you know what? It's so nice to be able to message my counselor anytime, even during the summer. I'm prioritizing myself. Think I'm getting everything in order.

[Adol Refai]

Well, Erin, your gray matter is looking gorge.

[Erin Keif]

Thank you.

[Adol Refai]

And also, I know with BetterHelp they have over 30,000 therapists. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And there is nothing like talking through your issues with a professional. It can give you, like, new perspective. I really benefit from therapy and just kind of like having a moment for self reflection and a time scheduled every week where I can explore that self reflection with someone who is trained to kind of help guide me through that.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, yeah, and Aaron, I've heard it's like supes convenient too. You can join a session with a therapist at the clinic.

[Erin Keif]

That's cool. That's cool. Way to talk.

[Adol Refai]

I actually got younger by using BetterHelp. I'm like 22 now. It's soup's convenient. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, which for my generation is like, like pretty primo. I think we say helping this helps you fit therapy into your busy life. And I'm supes biz plus switch therapists at any time. We call that a switcheroo.

[Erin Keif]

As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Unwind from work. With BetterHelp, our listeners can get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp. Help.com Riddle that's BetterHelp. H-L-P.com Riddle R I D D L E Based.

[Adol Refai]

Honestly based.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You slayed with that one, Aaron. Dab.

[Erin Keif]

I need to go back to therapy.

[Adol Refai]

And we're back. We wrote the script, we pounded it out. I think we're.

[Erin Keif]

Then we put pen to paper.

[Adol Refai]

We pounded it out, then we wrote it. The Lion Come will open on the West End, and we changed it from.

[Erin Keif]

The Lion King to the Lion Come. Sorry, that was draft three or four.

[Adol Refai]

We're opening on the West End, which is what I call la next year, next August. So we're excited.

[Erin Keif]

So if you want to hunt and kill us? You know where you're coming. That zapped me. I feel like that aged me 100 years. When we were in break, I said that I kept swinging between just intense hatred for that bit and loving it so much. I mean, you saying be prepared, really.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Fucking, you know, it's the opposite of love is not hatred. It's indifference. So you were kind of horseshoed along there, Aaron. You were close to them both.

[Erin Keif]

Well said. We have a few more of these from Lauren. Thank you, Lauren, for writing these. I could use a thousand more of these if people are interested in.

[John Patrick Cohen]

There can't be a thousand musicals, though.

[Erin Keif]

I think so. There's probably that many. These dancers sing, God, I hope I get it. But with the help of vitamin C, they won't get scurvy.

[Adol Refai]

Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Vitamin C is in the grudge.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, God, I hope I get it. I hope I get it. This is a chorus. Wait, a chorus lime.

[Erin Keif]

A chorus lime.

[Adol Refai]

Coarse lime.

[Erin Keif]

You get the point.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What? Oh, well, hold on now. Now, hold on now. The only way.

[Adol Refai]

We'Re in Southern Court all of a sudden.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The only way I could possibly win this game is if someone tells me the musical.

[Erin Keif]

Where did you get that seersucker suit?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, I must. Seersucker suit.

[Adol Refai]

Wait, is he saying your Honor? Because I'm hearing yawner.

[Erin Keif]

Yawn, yawner.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I was watching a movie late last night, and I was a bit of.

[Erin Keif]

A yawner, you guys.

[Adol Refai]

What?

[Erin Keif]

I got more texts when Karen Reid was found in the Sacrifice than I did on my birthday.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'll tell you what, Aaron. I got more texts when Karen Reed was found innocent from you than I normally get. I got one text that said Karen Reed was found innocent.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, did you cry?

[Erin Keif]

I don't want to say she did. Yeah, I just. I could not believe it. I was so. I did call my mom right away.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It does seem likely that you got a lot of texts, because it does seem like I talked about it too much. You talked about a lot. I definitely think it was maybe the first. Was it a lot of the first conversations you were having with people? They were like, how's it going? You're like, great. Let me tell you about the Carol Reid trial.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Erin Keif]

I sort of was looking for any opportunity and moment like. Like, I just wanted anyone to bring up anything tangential so I could go off.

[Adol Refai]

Anything to do with cars. Yeah, anything Women or terror read people.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, anything like that. Sharknado, also A Chorus Line, I think is. Is the Broadway cast album. I'VE listened to the most in my life. During my summer vacation, I used to lay on my trampoline and listen to it, like, eight to 10 times in a row, like, full.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron famously on the show, I don't know dick about shit. But his chorus line, is this a More like a dance musical? Cause it sounds like a dance musical.

[Erin Keif]

It is, but it is based on real interviews with dancers. So they like, I've talked to some.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Dancers, and I gotta say, that sounds boring as shit.

[Erin Keif]

Well, they will.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, if you want to hear. If you want to talk about dance, talk to a dancer, sir.

[Erin Keif]

They.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You want to talk about literally anything else. I would avoid conversations with each of.

[Erin Keif]

Their songs is sort of like they talk about their origin story or it was like. Like, one of them is, like, being not confident in their acting. One of them is feeling, like, not attracted enough. And then they did a song based on.

[Adol Refai]

They hold up their headshots. The. I've seen the YouTube video of the guy. Maybe it's from, like, a documentary. But it's a guy auditioning for Chorus Line.

[Erin Keif]

Oh, that Chorus Line documentary is so.

[Adol Refai]

The casting directors are.

[Erin Keif]

Oh, he's so good in that. But the. There's a.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Why are they crying? Wait, what?

[Erin Keif]

Because there's a famous monologue in A Chorus Line that one of the dancers does where he didn't feel safe enough being vulnerable around other people. And the musical takes place in the 70s, and it's him talking about being gay and what he had to deal with in that. And the guy who did the monologue, I think it hit a little close to home for him. The guy who ended up getting the part got it. And when they showed his full audition. But also the part of that documentary that is, like, so raw and hard to watch is there's a part where a woman has to sing a really high note. And they played a montage of all the women trying to hit that note in the auditions. And it is. It's too vulnerable. It's too hard to watch. So skip that.

[Adol Refai]

Can you give us a little impression?

[Erin Keif]

I will blow out your ears.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Garen, I got a question for you.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Do you go into that audition thinking, I know I can't hit the note, but I can get close, or do you think that they. All of the people that went into that audition said, I can hit this note. I've hit this note in practice. I'm able to hit this note, and then couldn't do it under the pressure.

[Erin Keif]

I think that they go, it's probably physically possible for me to hit this note, and on my most calm, collected day, I could probably do it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I could do it.

[Erin Keif]

But they showed the final callbacks, so I think the stakes are too high. And it's the end of at the ballet. Ballet. The ballet. The ballet.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And it's like, yeah, big note.

[Erin Keif]

It's a big note.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I just. I can't see a situation where I'm, like, going into the interview and they're like, okay, so it says here that I have to know C. Now. I don't know programming at all, but I think I'm gonna wing it for the interview. Like you. You must. I think it's fair play to play the clips because it's like, hey, man, you knew that the song was coming in the interview, right? Like, you knew it was coming.

[Adol Refai]

I think there's a certain amount. There's a certain percentage of, as the kids say, delulu from Broadway actors. There's a confidence they have to use as armor that won't allow them to back down from a challenge.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, you gotta be like. You gotta hype yourself up and do a Persona of your most confident self in order to do that. God bless him.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Do you think Lin Manuel Miranda would have gotten cast as Hamilton if he hadn't?

[Erin Keif]

I don't know.

[John Patrick Cohen]

If he had to read that by somebody else.

[Adol Refai]

I know, I know, I know, I know.

[Erin Keif]

How can this sad teen wave through a window with such big ursine. Is that the. How you say it? Pause.

[Adol Refai]

Bare Evan Hansen.

[Erin Keif]

Yep.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Bare Evan Hansen.

[Erin Keif]

Is it ursine?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Ursine. Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And porcine.

[Erin Keif]

In this cold quarter, nautical musical feet are delightful, delicious and deluvely. This is my favorite.

[Adol Refai]

Sorry, Erin, can you repeat it? I missed the first part.

[Erin Keif]

In this Cole Porter. Nautical musical. Feet are delightful, delicious and delightful.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Nautical musical. Parts of blows, parts of potatoes, Anything. Wait, is it really Anything Goes?

[Adol Refai]

Delightful. The what?

[Erin Keif]

And it's the feet part is what you're focusing on.

[Adol Refai]

Anything, toes. Anything Toes.

[Erin Keif]

Anything toes.

[Adol Refai]

The best opening to any Indiana Jones movie is that song. And then also, I saw Anything Goes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What? Which movie is that? Oh, is that the.

[Adol Refai]

It's the one where he.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is that the second one where he's at the club or whatever, where Kate.

[Adol Refai]

Capshaw, formerly Mrs. Spielberg, sings anything?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, no.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. They broke up 25 years ago. No, wait, he married. Was he with Kate Capshaw?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. He's still with her.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. But he marries with the woman from the first Indiana Jones Third.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What? No, no, no. He left the first wife to be One with Kate Capshaw, but it wasn't on the set. It was like seven years after. Well, I mean, who knows?

[Adol Refai]

E.T. bone down, but I saw Anything Goes with Sutton Foster and Joel Gray.

[John Patrick Cohen]

E.T. bone down. I don't understand what that. E.T. bone down.

[Adol Refai]

Steven Spielberg directed E.T.

[John Patrick Cohen]

E.T.

[Adol Refai]

Phone home turns into E.T. bone down. I can't walk you through everything.

[Erin Keif]

I think you're burning more calories in your brain than that.

[John Patrick Cohen]

But Home to Down. My only problem is Home to Down.

[Adol Refai]

Not every song scans jbc. But I saw Anything Goes with Sutton Foster and Joel Gray. And I was like, oh, my gosh, Joel Gray, legend. And he had to wear an earpiece and he was being fed his lines. So anytime someone talked to him, there'd be three seconds of silence and then him saying a line. It was kind of sad.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, it sounds like you're complaining, but the name of the fucking show is Anything Goes. So anything he did was within the parameters of the show. Huh.

[Adol Refai]

I never thought about like that.

[Erin Keif]

I was in Anything Goes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Anything Goes. I'm not gonna learn my lies. I'm not gonna sing any songs. Anything Goes. You paid for the ticket, dumbass.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, who'd you play?

[Erin Keif]

No one. I was just in the ensemble. That was the first time in many years, though. I think I got to play a woman in my summer theater program. I was in all the boy ensembles.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, they did reverse Shakespeare roles.

[Erin Keif]

Yep. I had to.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, I guess that would just be.

[Erin Keif]

I was a pirate in Pirates of Pennsylvania.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Erin Keif]

And then I was a sailor in South Pacific. And my line as a 12 year old girl in Nothing Like a Dane was, we've got every kind of feeling, but the feeling of relief, like, we're not getting fucked.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is a preparation AIDS commercial.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah. I'm like, I just. My line was about being horny. We got every kind of feeling, but the feeling of relief.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We've got every kind of feeling because.

[Erin Keif]

The chorus of the song is, there is nothing like a dame. Nothing in the.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm missing the context of the chorus.

[Erin Keif]

There is nothing you can name that is anything like a dame. And then we're like, we really miss the girls. The girls are really cute.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I do like the idea of a guy who can feel everything but horny.

[Erin Keif]

Well, he's horny, but he doesn't feel the relief from horniness. He wishes he was in the Lion King. He wants to come, but he can't. Yeah, I was a 12 year old girl. Girl. Talking about being a World War II sailor. It's fine. I turned out okay.

[John Patrick Cohen]

The thing we do for children to make their art.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah. So these are written by my friend Michael. Thank you, Michael. These riddles were originally. He thought of these because, hypothetically, I might be planning an episode that is meant to drive JPC crazy.

[John Patrick Cohen]

These riddles were original. Hypothetically, he thought, okay, okay, I couldn't track the thing.

[Erin Keif]

Good.

[Adol Refai]

Trying to drive JPC crazy is like getting in your car. If we went outside, gotten my car, and said, let's go to Chicago, you're right.

[Erin Keif]

So it's like a hat on a hat. It's a little redundant is what you're saying. Like, if I add more crazy to his plate, he gets normal.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Getting in your car and saying, let's.

[Adol Refai]

Drive to Chicago, it's like saying, let's make Jesus Christ. Like, yeah, yeah.

[Erin Keif]

Don't agree with us.

[John Patrick Cohen]

No, no. Yeah. I'm tracking with this. This definitely tracks to me.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, that's like the always sunny joke where Charlie's like, he doesn't even get us, man. And they're like, we're talking about you. Okay. All right.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's like driving to a drive through and then asking them for their order.

[Adol Refai]

It's like rain, but they make it about cum.

[Erin Keif]

It's like being a natural blonde and going to the hair salon and asking for blonde hair.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, well, that's actually a blonde joke. And that' very funny.

[Erin Keif]

He's already too crazy. I can't add any more, but these are. They were meant you were going to be sort of a sacrificial lamb in this saddle, and I'm so sorry.

[Adol Refai]

No. I'm hungry.

[Erin Keif]

I only like lamb when it's been sacrificed. But these were. I wanted to sort of drive you insane and kind of gaslight you. So all of these riddles technically have two answers.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, okay. I like that.

[Erin Keif]

And one of them is a little bit more literal, and one of them is a little bit more metaphorical. Now, these are hard. So I'd say between me and Michael's, maybe only two of these I think work well.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is this the Michael I know?

[Erin Keif]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Cool. Gonna fire off a quick text. Real quick.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, do it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Just gonna say, fuck you, Aaron.

[Adol Refai]

Do we need a piece of paper or anything?

[Erin Keif]

No, I think just turn your listening ears on. Keep your heart open. What do you think? Do you have a chakra that you think is blocked? What chakra of yours do you think is.

[Adol Refai]

What are chakras again?

[Erin Keif]

They're like energy, where energy emits from your body. This is like top of the head.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Erin Keif]

Blocked third Eye blocked.

[Adol Refai]

Keep going.

[Erin Keif]

Throat blocked. Heart blocked. Stomach blocked. And like, root blocked. Yeah. Okay.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And Adel, you were telling me earlier that you chakra'd the monkey, right?

[Adol Refai]

All holes filled is what I said.

[Erin Keif]

Oh, God.

[Adol Refai]

Airtight, my chakra.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You were at that New Year's.1 billion served. All holes filled.

[Adol Refai]

I'm clipping that.

[Erin Keif]

No, don't. No.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Casey, live clipping. Casey, live clipping of this episode.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, so I don't know. I think Michaels are better than mine, at least. So let's get these straight.

[Adol Refai]

Well, actually, let me hear him first.

[Erin Keif]

Okay, just.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Just for clarification, I did text Michael you. And the last thing that we had texted about was when he was going to be in town getting breakfast. So that fuck you should come out of nowhere.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah. Or he should be like, what happened at that breakfast? I hold things together without any glue. I come in all shapes, sizes and hues. Soon tie the knot. Or let me extend. Pull me too tight and I might just end.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Pull me too tight and I might just end. Is this a knot?

[Erin Keif]

Sounds like that's close.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Erin Keif]

What's a knot made up?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yarm.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, that works.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, but.

[Erin Keif]

So that's one of the answers.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, so if.

[Erin Keif]

If I had been driving you crazy, I'd been like, nope. And then would have waited for the other answer.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, oh, okay, okay.

[Erin Keif]

But I'm nice.

[John Patrick Cohen]

So. So give me the vernal again. I want to get both answers because I'm a completionist and I want to platinum this thing.

[Erin Keif]

I hold things together without any glue. First of all, I got dinner with Michael last night, and then he was like, giving the table these example, like these riddles to show them, and someone asked him to read it again, and he was like, ugh. And I went, so now you know. And now you know how it feels. I hold things together without any glue. I come in all shapes, sizes and hues. Soon tie the knot and let me extend. Pull me too tight and I might just end.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And so I said rope. And that was. That worked.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah. So that one is. Remember, it has two answers. So string. I'm string.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And rope is the same, so, yeah, sure.

[Erin Keif]

And the other one is more of like a metaphorical. Like, this is like a flowery way to explain this thing.

[Adol Refai]

And Aaron, do the two words like rhyme or connect. Okay.

[Erin Keif]

They're totally different.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hmm. Is it like patience?

[Erin Keif]

No.

[Adol Refai]

Pull me too hard and I might. What was it?

[Erin Keif]

Pull me too tight and I might just end.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Pull me too.

[Erin Keif]

Maybe someone with anxious attachment style would pull something too tight.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, their hair.

[Erin Keif]

No.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Their leg hair. No, Aaron. Don't make me guess the other hair.

[Adol Refai]

Pull me. Too tight.

[Erin Keif]

Damn. Do it. Say it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

What's butt pubic hair called?

[Erin Keif]

Oh, my God. Casey.

[Adol Refai]

Blue book hair.

[Erin Keif]

It's your home. Kick him out.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is it blue book hair?

[Erin Keif]

No.

[Adol Refai]

Michael. Boo. Blublic hair.

[Erin Keif]

Don't.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Erin Keif]

It's something there and we don't have the time.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Is it a concept?

[Erin Keif]

No, it's like kind of. It's like a thing. If you have anxious attachment style in what is. Where does that show up in your fingernails? No, it's not.

[Adol Refai]

Everyday life, literally. Interpersonal relationships, friends.

[John Patrick Cohen]

These are friendships. You said relationships.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, relationships. Oh, I'd like to see a scene Adol. You were breaking up with JPC because JPC has gotten like a little too attached and a little too clingy.

[Adol Refai]

Oh, that's fine.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, my God. We totally fit in this sweater.

[Adol Refai]

No, that's fine.

[John Patrick Cohen]

We totally both fit in this sweater.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah. I'm gonna take my.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You were so wrong.

[Adol Refai]

Okay. Yeah. You really just kind of swooped in there.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You were so wrong. We both fit in this while we. No, you should win. It looks better. It looks better on you.

[Adol Refai]

Our necks are pressed together so tight. Josh, I thought we just like a sweater. You know how sweaters come undone.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aw. We're gonna go see Weezer. You got Weezer tickets?

[Erin Keif]

Aw, no.

[Adol Refai]

That's my least favorite band. I told you. Maladroit's the only good album and I hate everything else.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, on SeatGeek, they have one ticket. Do you think we could split one ticket if we both sat on in with.

[Adol Refai]

I would say you should snag it. And then I'm gonna keep talking. Josh, I feel like much like Weezer. I feel like.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, someone didn't like Weezer and now they much like Weezer.

[Adol Refai]

The only way I can get through.

[John Patrick Cohen]

To change your mind on a dime.

[Adol Refai]

Okay, Josh, you have to take off that Guitar Hero controller. It's not attached to anything. You can't attach to me.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You're like, oh, this is so us.

[Erin Keif]

Aw.

[Adol Refai]

This is like when a five year old puts out their first Halloween costume and then they wear it for three months.

[John Patrick Cohen]

A five year old? I guess I'd have a baby with you.

[Adol Refai]

I'm not. You have three kids from a previous. Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, my God. What I love about kids is they tie you to someone forever. Forever.

[Adol Refai]

How do I say this in a way that you'll understand? You can't this bottle of seagrams and.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You shan't this Bottle of Seagrams.

[Adol Refai]

My icebox. Wait.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Awakens ancient feelings.

[Adol Refai]

Yes, but ancient in terms of. You know, how people used to die when they were like 27.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh, my God. How romantic.

[Adol Refai]

I think our relationship.

[John Patrick Cohen]

For us to die together. I want to be thinking about you as I die.

[Adol Refai]

I hope that's not what you think of. I hope you're at a Weezer concert when you die. Not this one. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying I hope they play forever. Two pals.

[Erin Keif]

Oh, my God. I. I love your sweater.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Thank you.

[Erin Keif]

What a cute couple.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Would you believe this is a sweater for one?

[Erin Keif]

But two people are in there.

[John Patrick Cohen]

But two fit.

[Erin Keif]

You guys are so cute together. Have a good one.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Two fit. So many sweaters. Oh, my God, I miss her. She was so nice.

[Erin Keif]

See? Perfect. We might actually only get through the ones that Michael wrote. Thank God, because mine are significantly work.

[Adol Refai]

And now I want to hear one.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Why don't we do 101? Why don't we go switch on 101?

[Erin Keif]

I literally realized this is for the. I'll do one of mine.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Aaron, sometimes you say, like, oh, I did this thing and it's not very good. And most of the time, you're right. I mean, it is 100%. You called it. You know yourself better than I know you. But sometimes, Aaron, you surprise yourself.

[Adol Refai]

You say, I phoned in this riddle. Didn't spend all night writing a good one. Why didn't you keep it tight?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Bet on yourself for once? Aaron. I always do.

[Adol Refai]

Draft queen.

[Erin Keif]

I live in locks and treasure chests. I keep things safe and cause unrest. Without the right match, I won't give way. But once I do. You might betray Sierra.

[Adol Refai]

This is what we're talking about.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah. I've been wrong before.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah. So I'll go back to Michaels.

[Adol Refai]

I live in locks.

[Erin Keif]

I see. I don't even care about tapers. No. What goes with the lock?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Key.

[Adol Refai]

Tapers?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, a key.

[Adol Refai]

Messy.

[Erin Keif]

And then what do you portray?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Everyone. My friends and family. People hold secrets.

[Erin Keif]

You've betrayed my confidence.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Trust.

[Erin Keif]

There you go. You got it. Key and trust. Back to Michael's Key and trust.

[Adol Refai]

Such a good sketch show.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Speaking of confidence.

[Erin Keif]

I mark the start, I note the end. I pass around but rarely bend. I'm a part of life like stars and rain but when I'm gone none can remain.

[Adol Refai]

The sun light.

[John Patrick Cohen]

But when I'm gone none can remain. Well, the sun would be great there.

[Erin Keif]

Right the way Michael said that he wrote these water. No, by he looked up existing riddles. And saw some of the words and then went, what is something else that could describe? And he took some of those words.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Work smart, not hard.

[Erin Keif]

Yes.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I think I owe Michael an apology.

[Erin Keif]

I think you already said.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Do you think if I text someone, fuck you, I owe them an apology? I don't think so. You're right. Quick check that's not texted back.

[Adol Refai]

Just follow up with ha ha.

[Erin Keif]

I mark the start, I note the end. I pass around but rarely bend. I'm a part of life like stars and rain and when I'm gone, none can remain.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I'm a part of life like stars and rain.

[Adol Refai]

This is like a letter in the word life.

[Erin Keif]

No. So, like, what?

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is like part of everyday life, like breathing. Oxygen.

[Erin Keif]

Breath.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Breath.

[Erin Keif]

You guys got it?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay.

[Erin Keif]

And so that's one. And then the other one is a little bit more like. I mark the start, I note the end, I pass around, but rarely bend. What's something that passes?

[Adol Refai]

Gas. Time.

[Erin Keif]

Adol. And I just made eye contact. Were you in there for 40 years as well?

[Adol Refai]

I was trapped.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, I'm back here. And we're the same age. We aged in there. Yeah. It's time and breath.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Time and breath. Do you remember the character from Inception? Does anyone remember the woman's name?

[Erin Keif]

The. The top?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Well, yes, Aaron, the top. That's Inception, correct?

[Erin Keif]

Yes.

[Adol Refai]

Just like a woman to talk about the character's top. Her blouse. Aaron, you mean her blouse.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's Marian Cotard. Marianne Coitard.

[Erin Keif]

Marion Cotiar.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Her name is like mom or something. She's got. She's got. Got some horrible name. That's not a real name.

[Erin Keif]

Oh, yeah, Ma.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It's like Mal. Mal. Mald. Mab.

[Erin Keif]

Mal.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Malb. The character from Inception's name is Mar. Mar. Sounds right.

[Erin Keif]

I'm gonna look it up.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Okay, we have to look it up. Cause I need to know the character from Inception's name.

[Erin Keif]

Michael, I'm gonna do more of your riddles later. Maybe in the actual episode that's meant to destroy jbc.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, I do wanna see a quick scene while Aaron looks us up. She's gonna be in the scene, so I don't know. It's not really a. It would be.

[Erin Keif]

I can do both.

[John Patrick Cohen]

It would be a while. I look it up. You guys are in that thing where it's Aaron and Adol. You got trapped in each other's eyes for that moment. That moment lasted 40 years. And you guys are like 38 years into the 40 year moment with no indication of when it will end.

[Erin Keif]

I spy when my Little eye.

[Adol Refai]

Me. It's probably me again. It's been me the last 1400 times.

[Erin Keif]

A bottomless voice.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, I see it too.

[Erin Keif]

You see it too?

[Adol Refai]

I see it too.

[Erin Keif]

Would you rather.

[Adol Refai]

The first one? Whatever the first one is. Because you always say the first one and then it's always 30 weeks and then you say the second one and I can't wait 30 weeks. I mean I have to wait 30 weeks. I have to wait.

[Erin Keif]

Why are you so upset? Did I forget your birthday again?

[Adol Refai]

Time is nothing. Birthdays are nothing.

[Erin Keif]

Can I tell you what kind of hurts my feelings? I. This is something new. We haven't said yet why we've been in here 38 some odd years, something like that. You haven't fall. You haven't even fallen in love with me. Not even once. Like how do you not? 38 years is so long you have to be endeared to a person. You should at least be trauma bonded to me by now. You know what I mean?

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Erin Keif]

You didn't even, even fall in love. Not even once. You're don't.

[Adol Refai]

Here's the thing.

[Erin Keif]

You're two more years with me in here.

[Adol Refai]

You're 511 and I can't date tall women.

[Erin Keif]

I'm 5 8.

[Adol Refai]

You give 5 11.

[Erin Keif]

You're like 6. It just taller than me. You're famously taller than me.

[Adol Refai]

I can't date tall women.

[Erin Keif]

Is this your wife?

[Adol Refai]

Are you stunning? Yes. Are you everything I want in a partner? Yes. Are you matching be wit for wit, tit for tat, thought for thought? Yes.

[Erin Keif]

If I was my little eye a liar.

[Adol Refai]

If you were just three inches shorter, we would be soulmates.

[Erin Keif]

Liar says what?

[Adol Refai]

What?

[Erin Keif]

I know. Fucking fuck you. Fucking hate you. I'm grateful you're not jpc and I think about that every day. That's.

[Adol Refai]

I'm grateful you're not jpc.

[Erin Keif]

That's what sort of links me back to gratitude and reality. Could have been here with jpc.

[Adol Refai]

If I was here with jpc, I feel like I. I feel like his mind would have absorbed me 36 years ago.

[Erin Keif]

This would have turned into like a Mad Max situation somehow.

[Adol Refai]

It would have turned into an FX's legion. Yes, it would have been an FX legion situation.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah.

[Erin Keif]

Wait, who is that? JBC?

[Adol Refai]

Is that JBC?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Wait, you guys can see me?

[Adol Refai]

Oh no.

[Erin Keif]

How long have you been here?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Just got here.

[Erin Keif]

No, you have not been here the 38 days.

[Adol Refai]

Do you have cobwebs on?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Oh these? Yes, cobwebs from spiders. Don't get too close. And don't smell. Wait, these are cobwebs from Spiders.

[Erin Keif]

It's cum.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Cum on my titties.

[Adol Refai]

See, that's Nathan Lane.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Cobwebs from Spiders.

[Erin Keif]

Her name was Mal.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Mal. Like shopping mall, Dark mall.

[Erin Keif]

Here is a voicemail theme and then a voicemail. Hit it, Case.

[Adol Refai]

That was fun. That was like city pop.

[Erin Keif]

That was amazing.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, that one, I think is from Davey. Paul and Davey says they're releasing an album, a future album this year. So, you know, check out Davey wherever you might check. They didn't include where to check it out or what the album was called.

[Erin Keif]

But I like a challenge.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Good luck.

[Erin Keif]

I'll find you.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Casey, we got a voicemail.

[Erin Keif]

Hi, Erin, Adeline, jpc. My name is Taylor and I'm at a point. I'm in my mid-20s where I'm working in school and just have a lot on my plate and I love, love what I'm doing, but I'm just exhausted all of the time. I feel like as creatives you can probably relate. So how do you keep at it instead of burning out? I love all the content that you guys make. Bye, Taylor. Okay, first of all, feeling for you, Taylor. I want to scoop you up. I want to buy you some ice cream. Taylor, you're so sweet. I don't know if I have good advice. I'm burnt out all the time and I'm scared all the time.

[Adol Refai]

Yeah, same.

[Erin Keif]

I think that's like it. I think doing it scared is a lot of it's good.

[John Patrick Cohen]

I love doing it scared.

[Adol Refai]

I think realizing everyone's going through something.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, I think. Well, I've said this before, but the mantra I do before I have to do anything creative or like a podcast or improv show or anything like that is I just go. All I have to do is breathe and enjoy the people that I'm around. And that usually is enough to get me to at least go, yeah. But yeah, I think also, yeah, knowing that it's part of it and folding it in is, I think, half the battle.

[Adol Refai]

Absolutely. Something I've tried that works sometimes is like taking a break from stressing or from doing whatever is stressing me out and consuming something maybe. I normally wouldn't consume Hemlock.

[Erin Keif]

Hemlock, Meth.

[Adol Refai]

Meth.

[Erin Keif]

Wait, you wouldn't normally.

[Adol Refai]

Black licorice. Yeah.

[Erin Keif]

Never mind.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Taking a break from the hectic everyday hustle and bustle of life. Smoking meth.

[Adol Refai]

Try it out. Who knows where you end up next?

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, I would say. I didn't know if you said in the voicemail if you do have a child. But I would say definitely have a child because then nothing's insurmountable. Everything is kind of like easy mode compared to that.

[Adol Refai]

You stop thinking about your problem.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Exactly.

[Adol Refai]

You got a new problem. Yeah, it's a constant riddle.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You'll approach anything things that you didn't like doing before. You'll approach it with a new vim and Vicker being like okay, let's do it.

[Erin Keif]

Also something I would do in my 20s that I think I regret doing now is I would like but I would sort of like hover above rock bottom. Like I would just be like just I would make like white knuckle keeping it together.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You Tom Cruise Mission Impossible laser right over the floor.

[Erin Keif]

And I wish I had just gone like when you get to that point where you're doing like 18 hour days and you're tired and you have a cold and you have homework and stuff like that. Maybe just like let yourself cry for an hour.

[Adol Refai]

Trip the laser.

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, just go, you know what? I'm at a rock bottom point. Because if you stay at like you just need that kind of like release or like ask for help or whatever. Because I would just be like nope, I got this.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Erin Keif]

If you need throw up down my.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Shirt, ask for help getting a release. No, definitely do it. You know what I'm saying? Because you can release. You can release yourself but it's always a little better if you can get afraid to help you out.

[Adol Refai]

Circle jerk of life.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yep.

[Erin Keif]

Anything you'd like to plug or promote or talk about?

[Adol Refai]

Mostly the line come coming next August. But also check out our tour going on this year. We're very excited. We're playing a lot of cities. You can go to heyriddle riddle.com tour.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah it's live and I think so coming up at the end of this month we have Portland which is almost sold out and it might be sold out by the time this comes out. So jump on those Portland tickets. Seattle, which is also very close to selling out but there's a possibility we got a second show in Seattle. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know.

[Adol Refai]

And this is Portland, Oregon.

[John Patrick Cohen]

This is Portland, Oregon. Yeah, we go to Portland, Maine and we're flying Seattle for the next night.

[Adol Refai]

I've heard they're making moves.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah.

[Erin Keif]

So excited for the Portland and Seattle shows. I've never been to either place and I'm genuinely thrilled.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And then LA on August 1st and the LA show is live streamed so I think we still have some Tickets available for in person. But you can definitely, if you're anywhere else in the world, you can get live stream tickets to that show. And that's the only live stream one that we're doing this whole.

[Adol Refai]

And we should say for Portland and Seattle, we will have our fourth host, Janet Varney.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And in la, unfortunately we don't know anyone. So it's going to be where we're not going to be able to get a guest because we just don't know who it is going to be. And we'll have a guest.

[Erin Keif]

Zorp is going to be at that Portland live show. I think that's going to be his first ever live show.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Zorp coming to la?

[Erin Keif]

Yeah, Zorp lives in la.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Are they going to go to the show?

[Erin Keif]

I'm going to say you don't have to do that because they will have just gone to the.

[John Patrick Cohen]

You don't have to. Nobody has to.

[Erin Keif]

He will be. He's so nice and offers to go to everything. And I try to be like, you don't have to.

[John Patrick Cohen]

If Zorp wants to have a fucking fun night. Comedy. Maybe Zorp goes to the show. Here's what I'll say.

[Erin Keif]

But I am taking up his next night going to Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm sort of making the whole weekend.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, Zorp, I will not talk to you in Portland. If you want to talk to me, we can talk in la.

[Erin Keif]

That's so funny. This is me being. Trying to get. He wants to go so bad and he's getting roasted for this.

[Adol Refai]

Does Zorp improvise? Yes, maybe. Maybe we do a herald with him to end the show.

[Erin Keif]

He. First of all, he got comedy trained in New York, so who knows how good of a mod.

[Adol Refai]

I'm sorry, a mod.

[Erin Keif]

He's very funny. Maybe he could sell riddles on a live show with us one day. He'd be very good at it.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Yeah, we'll see if he's good at it.

[Adol Refai]

Aaron, anything to plug or promote, I would say.

[Erin Keif]

Check out our Patreon. Patreon.com patreon.com Heyriddle Riddle. We have a lot of great fun improv stuff happening over there and I love it. I love our Patreon episodes. Jbc anything. A review to read or something to play plug.

[John Patrick Cohen]

Hey, this is JPC cutting in from the future, which is actually my present, but the past for when you're hearing this future from when we recorded the episode that you heard. It doesn't matter. I have a tour update for everybody. Our first three shows were awesome. We, we went to Chicago and the Twin Cities. Those shows, we did get audio recordings from them. But I know some people don't like live shows so you don't have to worry. They're not going to be coming on the main feed. We will probably be putting them up on the Patreon later this year. Secondly, we sold out our Nashville show so we have added a second show. It's just going to be a late night show that same night. So that's Tuesday, October 7th. That's going to be a 9pm show still at Third Coast Comedy. You can get tickets to that@heyriddle riddle.com live. Also, we are doing tour limited time specific merch for every show that we do this tour. So if you want to get the tour merch for Chicago or the Twin City shows, these are. Well, they're inside jokes. You'll get them when the episodes come out or if you were actually there. So very limited use case for these. I don't know why I'm not selling you on the merch, but you can find them in our merch store, heyroadivertle.dashery.com or by clicking the link in the episode description. We also have our tour poster that we've been selling at live shows. We have turned that into a shirt so it's like a tour style shirt. It's got the poster on the front and then all the cities that we're seeing on the backside. So that's awesome. And that's out there now. So I hope you pick that up. Okay, back to you. JPC and Adol and Aaron from the past.

[Erin Keif]

Jpc anything a review to read or something to plug?

[John Patrick Cohen]

No.

[Erin Keif]

Okay Jupiter. Bye everybody.

[John Patrick Cohen]

And Johnson, Patrick Cohen, Casey Tony did the editing and Marty Perrin did the music logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus. Hey there bounce houses and hot dogs. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon Patreon. It's improv from a block party. You can listen to that plus our entire back [e-mail] HeyRiddleriddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month. Or start your 7 day free trial with a review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[Erin Keif]

That was a headgum podcast.