#384: The Return (really!) of Kid Friendly

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle – Episode #384: The Return (really!) of Kid Friendly

Release Date: November 26, 2025
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)

---

Overview

For their third-ever "kid friendly" special, the Hey Riddle Riddle team—Adal, Erin, and JPC—crafts a lighthearted, exuberant episode meant for families, kids (and even "baby goats," aka kids and "the Greatest Of All Time" puns). While the show is known for its riddle-solving shenanigans, much of the fun comes from their offbeat tangents and improv comedy, and this episode is no exception. The trio commits to jokes that land on both kid-level and meta, offering riddles, playful sketches, and bits that lampoon both childhood experiences and over-specific cultural references.

---

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Opening—Stand-Up for Kids (04:27)

• The hosts each attempt "kid-friendly" stand-up routines, poking fun at the adult tendency to miss the point of kid experiences.
• JPC’s set focuses on Halloween, bashing "bad" treats and rambling about neighborhood traditions.
  Quote: "Why is Halloween only one day? You’re telling me there’s a day when we can knock on people’s doors and they give us candy, and you’re only giving us one of those? … Let’s call that Thursday!" (05:39)
• Adal’s bit wonders why adults suddenly stay home and love being "inside" as they age, riffing on Minecraft and Gucci, and failing to connect with the young audience.
• Erin’s routine laments the tyranny and mysteries of kid water bottles, claiming that teachers spend half their careers tracking them.
  Quote: "Little did I know the only thing that it’s about is keeping track of my water bottle!" (09:34)
• They self-consciously point out how their humor is more for parents than actual kids, and riff on Gen Z slang (04:04).

2. Acknowledging Grown-Ups Get Things Wrong (11:30)

• The hosts take a detour on adults admitting mistakes, jokingly encouraging parents to turn to their kids and say, "I’m wrong most of the time."
  Quote: "I want every grownup to turn to your kid right now and say...I’m sorry. I’m wrong most of the time. Turn to your kid and say that right now. I’ll wait." (12:21)

3. Riddles & Improv Scenes

Classic Riddles with Kid-Friendly Vibes

• Riddle: "I speak every language but never learned one."
  Answer: An echo. (14:20)
  Improv scene: Echo's first day on the job messing up for a caveman.
  Adal (prompting): "Adol, you are a guy who is in a cave, and you're trying to hear the echo of your voice and JPC, this is your first day on the job as an echo." (14:33)

• Riddle: "I travel straight while standing still. The longer I go, the shorter I get."
  Answer: A candle (pencil is an acceptable but debated answer). (17:52) Scene: Pencil and candle compare their respective fates as they get "used up." (18:04)

• Riddle: "I can cross a river without getting wet and climb a wall without touching it."
  Answer: A shadow. (25:38)
  Scene: A man’s shadow refuses to cross the river—a bureaucratic ordeal to get a "new" shadow.
  JPC: "Can you jump and I’ll catch you? I forgot. I never taught my shadow English." (25:54)

Meta Commentary & Kiddish Tangents

• Extended tangents about nursery rhymes and the absurdity of pies filled with birds (22:08+).
• Debates about cake vs. pie: which is stronger and which do kids prefer (21:26–21:52).

4. Listener-Submitted Kid Riddles (48:48, 49:00)

• From 3-year-old Leo: “What’s the bare minimum?”
  Answer: One bear. (49:31)
  The hosts are delightfully stumped and do a fake news report on being bested by a toddler.

• From Marcus: “Why did the cowboy get a dachshund?”
  Answer: He wanted to get a long, little doggie. (52:41)
  Scene: Dog cowboy and a cattown mayor spar in a kid-western.

• Why did the doctor remove his doorbell?
  Answer: He wanted a No-bell prize (Nobel Prize). (62:29)

• What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
  Answer: A carrot. (67:12)

5. Absurdist Scenes and Kid Jokes

• Scene: Kids swimming in a portal full of Hi-C during a math class gone quantum-physics-wrong (56:44–58:50).
• Another: Doctor obsessed with winning awards acts out an Oscar speech during a checkup (63:04–64:42).
• Parrot sketches: Parrot preempts owner’s sentences, insinuating birds are smarter and more successful than their people (68:48–71:12).

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "Listening is preparing. And my brother talks all the time. And if you think I’m going to listen to a word of it, you’re dead wrong. And kids listening, you know what I’m talking about. Listening to your siblings, listening to your parents—really important." – JPC (11:32)
• "I guess when you get older, home is like...the best part of vacations as you get older is coming home versus the vacation itself." – Adal (08:19)
• "I can cross a river without getting wet. I climb a wall without touching the wall... Is this a wave?...No. Cause a wave would get wet." – Riddle segment, debate (25:30–25:33)
• "I want him to be 100 and I want the other one—the one I don't want—26." – Erin as an ageless grandma negotiating youth transfers with The Cake Genie (35:48)
• "Why did the doctor remove his doorbell?...He wanted a Nobel Prize." (62:29)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 04:27 – Stand-Up Routines for Kids
• 11:30 – Grown-Ups Admit Their Mistakes
• 14:20 – "I speak every language..." (Echo riddle and improv)
• 17:52 – Candle/Pencil riddle and sketch
• 25:38 – Shadow riddle & "Peter Pan Law" improv
• 49:00 – Listener riddle: "What’s the bare minimum?"
• 52:41 – "Cowboy and Dachshund" riddle & western scene
• 62:29 – Nobel/no-bell doctor riddle & scene
• 67:12 – Carrot/parrot riddle & Bugs Bunny parody

---

Recurring Themes & Running Gags

• Constant "meta" breaking of the “kid-friendly” premise to amuse themselves and parents.
• Playful but intentionally dated pop culture references (Great Gatsby, SNL, Timothée Chalamet as the Cake Genie).
• Over-explanation for the benefit of parents—e.g., classic nursery rhymes or legalese about shadows.
• Commentary that’s both for and about the kids’ world and adults’ confusion connecting to it.

---

Episode Tone

The show, per usual, blends irreverence, improv, and a touch of absurd sincerity. The hosts’ faux-exasperation with riddles, digressions into playful sketches, and inviting giggles create a welcoming, silly space for genuinely all ages—if you have a sense of humor about the kid world and adults fumbling through it.

---

Final Message / Takeaways

• The hosts cheer on young listeners and their imaginations, encouraging (sometimes satirical, sometimes sincere) rebellion and making messes.
• “Don’t be like JPC,” Erin concludes, “so you can play in the sink without the towel.” (74:32)
• The episode concludes with thank-yous to specific kid fans, a soft “keep playing” sentiment, and a silly plug segment about kid activities (putting rocks in shoes, hiding crayons).

---

Summary Prepared For:
Anyone seeking the spirit and specifics of Hey Riddle Riddle’s 2025 kid-friendly special—catching the improv, riddles, memes, and madness in one dense, jokey package.

Transcript

[A]

This is a headgum podcast.

[B]

Extra value meals are back for just $5. Get a savory and sweet sausage, egg and cheese McGriddles plus hash browns and a coffee only at McDonald's for limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California.

[C]

And for delivery, do you have what it takes to finish first? The App Store is packed with super fast, super fun racing games for every driver. From battling with your favorite characters in Disney Speedstorm to piloting one of over 400 different cars on officially licensed tracks in real racing 3. It's all right here. Blast down the track with no limit Drag Racing 2 race and collect the latest and greatest cars in CSR 2 realistic Drag Racing. Or even take over the international car racing arena with asphalt legends and take on the toughest drivers from around the world with NASCAR manager. Just visit the App Store to find these racing games and more and get ready to start your engines. Leave boredom in the dust on the App Store.

[B]

The doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an airplane. He stabbed him with an ice away and the horse's name riding.

[A]

Hello everybody and welcome to our third ever kid friendly episode. It's the day before Thanksgiving. People are in their cars, planes, trains and automobiles with their children.

[B]

Or baby goats.

[A]

Or baby goats. This episode is primarily for baby goats and we're going to give you an actual kid friendly episode. How's everyone feeling about that?

[C]

Feeling nervous, I guess.

[B]

Mostly most of my stuff this episode is going to be because again, I read the email. Most of my stuff this episode is going to be geared towards the baby goats kind of portion of our listener base. But it's not just that because that's not enough for a full episode. So I'm also gonna take the other version of baby goats. So like young LeBron's, you know, a young Michael Jordan, Pete Sampras.

[A]

But at that point I feel like we're getting far afield from the word kid Roger Federer. Cause like a baby goat is called a kid. But then when you start thinking about other goats, then we're not even talking about kids anymore.

[B]

What about a show and it's called Go Babies and it's all just, it's like again, it's baby LeBron, it's baby Roger Federer who are some other goats and it's all them as Mohammedabies and they're interacting, you know, it's like and what if.

[A]

Yeah, and all the kids listening will understand that Muppets babies reference. Something that is really happening in the zeitgeist. You guys, I'm thrilled to be back. I'm thrilled to be back in this space. I think we can do it. I want to. Before we get started into our riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems, um, remind you that I geared these riddles, puzzles, lateral thinking problems to maybe a younger audience. So if these seem easy to you two, then maybe we just take it in stride.

[C]

Okay, jpc, so it seems like we're being set up for failure.

[A]

And if you guys don't get it, it means you're two grownups. Adol, you're. I feel like you're ahead of me in this.

[C]

Yeah. Where if we don't get these right, then we look like dum dums.

[B]

No cap battle. But I'm a bit sus of Aaron right now.

[A]

Don't do this. And no. 6, 7. No, no, I know. No, no, we are not. These kids are smarter than that.

[C]

Yes, ma'.

[B]

Am.

[A]

The kids listening to the show are not doing six, seven. They're not doing all that stuff.

[B]

But that's cringe. That's actually cringe right now. Aaron, I trust. I trust that you have the riz to carry us through this episode, even if my homie Adel be girding right now. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

I actually, there was a couple of those I did not know.

[B]

That's busing.

[A]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

[C]

Well, this is fire.

[A]

I know what it sounds like. I know what this sounds like. We are not qualified to do this. We don't know anything about kids or preteens. We don't know we can't connect with them. But I would disagree and I have a way to prove it. We are going to start the show by doing stand up sets that are geared towards children.

[B]

And that's on.

[A]

God, jvc, you're burning through all this stuff you could be using in this standup set. Who would like to go first? Is someone feeling inspired to maybe just two minutes?

[C]

Sort of like just two minutes or.

[A]

Like a minute and a half?

[C]

Hold on.

[A]

I'm sorry. The movie trailers that you made me improvise.

[C]

Stand up sets, did you say? Who wants to go first? Just two minutes.

[A]

I'm sorry. Can we play a clip of Adol making us do two minute long movie trailers?

[B]

Like I actually don't think we can in a kid friendly episode.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I think we can. I can't play clips of other episodes in a kid friendly episode just for 30 seconds.

[A]

Who would like to go first.

[B]

I'll go first.

[A]

Great.

[B]

And I know that this is a little dated, but I think it'll still be seasonally. I think kids will appreciate it.

[A]

Welcome to the stage, jpc.

[B]

Oh, hey, what's up, everybody? I'm jpc. I am a comic from Chicago. Hey, I got a question for you guys. Does everybody miss Halloween? I mean, what's up with. Why is Halloween only one day? You're telling me there's a day where we can knock on people's doors and they'll give us candy, and you're only giving us one of those? Here's my pitch for Halloween. Let's call that Thursday. Let's call that Thursday. Let's make Thursday's Halloween. And here's the thing about Halloween. Kit Kats. Okay. Reese's Pieces. Fine. Who's putting Mounds bars in my Halloween bag? Have you ever had a Mounds bar? Last time I checked, coconut was a fruit. I'm not trying to eat fruit. I'm trying to eat Halloween candy. Oh, man. Oh, man. And everybody's got that one neighbor. Y' all know who I'm talking about. Not on the golf course. Thank you. Not on the golf course that gives the full size candies bars. I'm talking about that one neighbor who gives you what? Say it with me. A roll of pennies.

[A]

Hey, a toothbrush.

[B]

Oh, it's not improv. We're not asking for suggestions. If you knew that it was gonna be a roll of pennies, I'm here a lot, so I do the same Halloween bit. A roll of pennies. Hey, next time you give me a roll of pennies, I'm handing it right back to you because that means you have a dollar and you could go buy a clue. I'll hand you a dollar. Here's a tip.

[A]

Our generation really doesn't candy next time do hard money anymore. Pennies are sort of a thing of.

[B]

The past, and that's my time, and I've been jpc. And that's busting. Busting.

[C]

Everyone tried flossing. Still.

[B]

Still.

[A]

There we go. Yeah. Welcome to the stage. You know Em, you love Eme Adol.

[C]

Uh, hey, everybody. What is going on with winter?

[A]

Woo.

[C]

Snow just falls from the sky and we pretend this is normal. I haven't left my house in a couple weeks, and, you know, I step outside and I'm like, oh, it's kind of cold out and I'm wearing sweatpants and the wind just rips. Why haven't you left your house, huh?

[A]

Why haven't you left Your house.

[C]

This is an improv. We don't need suggestions.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I just haven't felt. Because I haven't felt like leaving the house.

[B]

I guess I was about to crash out.

[C]

I guess when you get older, home is like. I guess the best part of vacations as you get older is coming home versus the vacation itself. And we'll all. And raise your hand if you're older.

[B]

Facts.

[C]

See a lot of confused faces. I guess. I guess I should say like an age range. But who here has an interest? Oh, you, sir. What's your interest?

[B]

Gucci.

[C]

Gucci.

[A]

I like Minecraft.

[C]

Minecraft. Okay, so what if Gucci and Minecraft teamed up? I think it would go a little something. I'm getting the light. I'm getting the light. Thank you all.

[A]

It's a green light. I think they're telling you to keep going.

[B]

Green means go, boy.

[C]

Oh, what is this, the Great Gatsby? Anybody here read the Great Gatsby? It kind of ends with a green light in the distance.

[B]

I like microtransactions.

[A]

Spoiler alert.

[C]

Okay. Getting a lot of participation from the crowd.

[A]

Great. Hey.

[B]

Hey. Great job.

[C]

Coming up next to the stage, you know where you love her. To know her is to love her. Erin Keefe.

[A]

Hi, everybody. I know a couple months ago we all went back to school. I thought going to school, the central part of it would be, I don't know, learning or making friends. Little did I know the only thing that it's about is keeping track of my water bottle. Why have water bottles become the most important thing about school? Cool. Where is your water bottle? Have you left it on the bus? Have you left.

[B]

She's holding a pretend microphone in front of her real microphone.

[A]

Leave me alone. It's helping.

[B]

No one else did this. For the stand up setup, she's holding a fake microphone. It's actually stopping her from speaking directly into the microphone.

[A]

Let me do my work. My mom's bought me like 15 water bottles. That's the only thing we spend money on. I got one at my desk. It's filled with mold. I got one in my locker. It's disgusting. Disgusting. I keep switching up water bottles with my friend. No one can keep track of my water bottle.

[C]

Family sounds rich.

[A]

My teacher went to school, spent $150,000 to get a master's degree in education. And our whole day is keeping track of my water bottle. Can you believe it? The whole crowd is, like cheering and so excited because it's so relatable.

[C]

Wait, we can say that?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Anyway, Casey, insert This in mind. Whole crowd's going nuts.

[A]

Tip your waiter. It was water bottles. That's our currency now, I guess. I love y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

Have a great day.

[C]

People throwing water bottles on stage, eating.

[B]

Water bottles up at you.

[A]

I was the closer, and I feel like I felt like I had closer energy. Right.

[B]

You were the only one, Aaron, who I think prepared ahead of time, though.

[A]

So I didn't prepare ahead of time.

[B]

Okay, yeah, right, sure. Yeah. And every time I do improv, it's all off the dome.

[A]

Yeah, it should be okay. I do know that because I have a sister who's a teacher, and I feel like water bottles are a big source of.

[B]

Oh, so she did prepare.

[A]

Well, no, I just listened to my sister when she talked. I could have picked anything that she talks about.

[C]

Listening is preparing.

[B]

Listening is preparing. And my brother talks all the time. And if you think I'm going to listen to a word of it, you're dead wrong. And kids listening. You know what I'm talking about. Listening to your siblings, listening to your parents. Really important.

[C]

Very important.

[B]

Do not mess around. When your parents tell you something, it's because it's important.

[C]

Also, your teachers and your doctors, if there's any adult in an outfit, listen to them.

[A]

Or don't. We don't care. We're not your parents. We're not your doctors. We're not your substitute teachers.

[B]

We're not your paradox of an adult telling you something, maybe it's wrong. And just go ahead and consider that. And parents, if you're listening, I'm sorry I introduced the concept that adults could maybe be wrong, but guess what? They can. And I'm not backing off of it. I'm doubling down on it.

[A]

I want every grownup to turn to your kid right now and say, unless you're driving. No, I don't care. Do a full 180 around. And I want you to say, I'm sorry. I. I'm wrong most of the time. Turn to your kid and say that right now. I'll wait.

[B]

You can say, when I told you that the car doesn't actually start until the seatbelts are clicked in. That was a lie. No, it is important that you wear your seatbelt, but cars don't work like that. And you're going to need to know that in your adult life.

[A]

Some parent just turned off this episode so quickly. All right, let's get into some riddles.

[B]

Yes, absolutely.

[A]

I speak every language, but never learned one. I answer questions, yet I never think, what am I?

[B]

I speak every language but never learned one. And I answer questions but seldom think.

[A]

But I never think. That second half, I feel like, is not as helpful, but I think the riddle could just be, I speak every language, but never learned one.

[B]

Huh.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

Is this like. I want to say, is this like Google Translate or something like that?

[A]

Like, no, but I like how your brain is working.

[B]

First time she's ever told me that. And it's on the kid for me. No one's gonna listen to.

[C]

Is this like the sun or something?

[A]

No.

[B]

Both spellings, Aaron.

[A]

No.

[C]

Okay. I speak every language, but I've never learned one.

[A]

And it doesn't answer questions. It sort of.

[B]

Mm. Like, oh, is this a Pokedex?

[A]

Responds, no, but I would say that this is one of the most common riddle answers ever.

[B]

Oh, yakback.

[A]

No, not the wind. Not yak back.

[C]

A shadow. An egg.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Eggs speak every language.

[A]

It's something auditory. It's something that is a sound.

[B]

Breakfast is the universal language.

[A]

I speak every language, but never learned one.

[B]

Is this like a screech genius or savant?

[A]

No, I think I'm going to tell you the answer. It is an echo. Because people can. Yeah, I know. It's a classic riddle. I'd like to see a scene.

[B]

Classic riddle.

[A]

Adol. You are a guy who is in a cave, and you're trying to hear the echo of your voice and gpc. This is your first day on the job as an echo, and you're really nervous and you're not doing a very good job.

[C]

Oh, Trog. Trog live in cave. Trog notice weird sound coming from entrance of cave when Trog screams. So Trog gonna test something out.

[B]

Hello? Oh, I can't do that. We can't do the exit.

[C]

Oh, is someone there?

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

That was weird.

[B]

No, Echo's don't got twice.

[C]

Are you making fun of Trog?

[B]

God, now I have tick. Trog.

[C]

Ugh.

[B]

Og. Ogh.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

I'm Trog the caveman. Uh, inventor of fire.

[B]

Ah, I can't remember all that. Hello. Dum dum.

[C]

Hey, come on, man. I'm a doctor.

[B]

Hey, can I be honest with you? Sorry. Can I be honest with you?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I'm the spirit of this cave. It's my first day. I was the spirit of a stalagmite yesterday. But I kind of got a promotion. Jerry got shuffled into HR and so now I'm in his spot. But I'm Jerry.

[C]

Dumb name.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. That's not. No, no. Very nice. Nice, nice.

[B]

Jerry, you're in HR now you're not an echo anymore.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Anyway, it's my first day. I'm not great with voices. Is there any way that you could, like, be more, like, I don't know, like, mid Atlantic with your accent? It would really help me so I. I don't have to do, like, caveman voice.

[C]

Oh, sure. Yeah, sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. Wish I hadn't committed to this, but, yeah, let me see.

[B]

Yeah, just to give, like, a nice. Or anything like that. That would just, like, help me so much because it's my first day as an echo.

[C]

Yeah, sure.

[B]

I love it. Yes.

[C]

Okay. Well, listen here, Stephanie. I told you to stay put, and you didn't stay put. And what happened? We got in trouble, didn't we?

[B]

Oh, I can't do that.

[A]

Oh, I told you to stay put, but you didn't. You didn't get in trouble. Oh, didn't we?

[C]

What was. Oh, someone did it.

[B]

I have an HR complaint. Is anyone helping me?

[A]

Uh, I'll take that complaint.

[B]

Well, I thought you were just echoing.

[A]

I was.

[B]

You can do both.

[A]

I don't know. If you fail to do your job, then I can do your job.

[B]

I guess I'm out of a job. Uh. Oh, see? You can do both jobs. Oh, no, I never considered it. God, working HR in a cave has to be the cushiest job.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Cause nothing really happens. It's a cave. You know those, like, cave explorer videos? That seems like my worst nightmare.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's so claustrophobic.

[B]

And this is the point of the kid friendly episode where we talk about our worst nightmares.

[A]

Yeah. All right. Anyways.

[C]

Clowns in a cave.

[A]

I travel straight while standing still. The longer I go, the shorter I get.

[C]

What am I can't go.

[B]

Pencil.

[A]

A candle. But a pencil works, too. I wrote that down. But pencils don't really stand still when they get shorter.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

They're kind of on the move. I'd like to see a scene, I guess. Gpc, Your pencil. Addle your candle. Go.

[C]

Sorry, I'm just sort of burning the midnight oil here. You're up late.

[B]

Yeah. Busy day. A lot of ideas being nice.

[C]

Go. Oh, that's great.

[B]

Not for me. Oh, yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't really have ideas, but I help.

[C]

Do you never work in, like, you know, one word for you. One word for me, like you never.

[B]

Some of my stuff.

[C]

Yeah, no.

[B]

Yeah, I try.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like the. You know, the guy. The guy who's always around here, he had an idea for, like, a new light bulb that had, like, a Filament that would, like, kind of, like, last forever. Yeah, I know. It's, like, a really cool idea.

[C]

Put me out of hojob, but.

[B]

Yeah, I know, right? And. And so he was, like, writing it down, and I was like. I was like, what if. Also, like, a change color. And I was, like, kind of doing it in the middle of his, like, formulas, because I think there's some, like, metallurgy involved in, like, making the new type of whatever that is, the filament or whatever. But I was like, what about green? Like, green would be cool to see. Like, you can't do green.

[C]

Um, let me try.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Is it doing. Is it. Is it going.

[B]

No, it's just a lot of wax. Just. You're making a ton of wax, actually. Maybe too much wax. You're losing a lot of wax. Maybe stop. Maybe stop. Maybe take a break.

[C]

I don't feel dizzy. I feel so. I feel so dizzy.

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[C]

Oh, I am getting short. I have burned through. Oh, boy. I'm burning at both ends now.

[A]

Uh.

[B]

Oh. Uh.

[C]

Oh. All right.

[B]

Yeah. I've never seen that happen.

[C]

Tell my wife I love her. Bye.

[B]

Ugh. Okay. Knock, knock, knock. Knocking on the pantry door, obviously.

[A]

Hello? What time is it?

[B]

I don't know. I have no concept of time. This is Jerry. Hi. How are you? Well, it's Jerry. Jerry the pencil. I'm sorry to wake you, but. Gosh, I'm sorry. Are you. Do you. You have company?

[A]

Yeah, I'm kind of hosting a party with the other birthday candles. It's one of our birthdays, ironically, if you can believe it.

[B]

That is serendipitous. How fortuitous.

[A]

Yeah. And so we light our own heads, and then the person whose birthday it is blows out us.

[B]

Oh, good.

[A]

Really fun.

[B]

Blowing. Yeah. Blowing out.

[A]

I don't know why I was yawning when I answered the door.

[B]

Is it a boring party?

[A]

Yeah, it's really boring this time.

[B]

Your husband, Dave.

[A]

Oh, yeah. My husband's working the night shift tonight.

[B]

He was actually working too hard.

[A]

He's the best at ambiance. He's the best. No one's better at ambiance than my husband, Dave.

[B]

Dave has. You know how sometimes a candle just becomes a pile of wax?

[A]

I'm sorry. I'm being so rude. Do you want to come in for a piece of cake?

[B]

I would love. Oof. Do you have anything stronger than cake? Like pie?

[A]

Like, I got a pie.

[B]

Yeah, that would be perfect.

[A]

Do you have anything stronger than cake? A pie? I would say cake is stronger than Pie.

[C]

I'd say pie is stronger. Dense. It's denser.

[A]

Oh, I just mean like flavor wise. Flavor wise, I'd still go with pie. Oh, okay.

[B]

If I have to be the tiebreaker. And even though I introduced it, I do think that cake is stronger than pie.

[C]

Really? I would say sweet wise cake is stronger. It's a cloying taste, but I feel like pie is way more potent of a actual flavor.

[B]

I think amount wise as well, cake is gonna get taller. And I just feel like there's like a way that you got like a five layer cake and I'm like, that's stronger. That's gonna be stronger than pie.

[A]

A moot point for the kid friendly episode because are kids eating pie ever? I don't think I've ever seen a kid eat a piece of piece.

[B]

Oh, okay. Aaron, I guess I'd like to introduce you to my friend Lil Jack Horner, who might have something to say about that.

[C]

Who sat in the corner eating his curds and whey.

[A]

That's someone else.

[B]

Who put their thumb in a pie. Maybe we tell your mother we put our thumb in the pie. Who put their thumb in the pie? Is that not Little Jack Horner?

[A]

Yeah, he put his thumb in the pie. But curds in whey is little Miss Muffet.

[C]

The king who cut open a pie and a bunch of birds flew out. Remember that king?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Remember he cut open the pie and a bunch of birds flew out.

[B]

That feels like a magician. You think of David Copp, Pie field.

[A]

Pie and birds flew out.

[B]

You're thinking of David Copper. I per pie field.

[A]

Sing a song of sixpence. Sing a song of sixpence. A pocket full of rye. Four and 20 blackbirds baked in a pie. When the pie was opened, the birds began to sing. Wasn't it that a dainty dish to set before the king? The king was in his counting house counting out his money. The queen was in the parlor eating bread and honey. The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes when down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose. This is scary. Nevermind.

[B]

That was what plastic surgery was. Before we had plastic surgery, it was.

[C]

Just blackbirds and gardens attacking you.

[A]

So we're going to send the bird. It'll be like four days of recovery. Okay. I can cross a river without getting wet and climb a wall without touching it. What am I?

[C]

Fish.

[B]

Wind.

[C]

Big old fish.

[B]

Big old wind fish.

[C]

Fish on a bike.

[B]

Wind. Fishing. Fish on a bike.

[A]

Dr. Seuss.

[C]

I can cross a river without getting wet.

[A]

Getting Wet. You can climb a wall without touching it.

[B]

Wall boat.

[A]

No. A boat gets wet when it's in the water. Right.

[B]

Anti gravity boat.

[A]

No.

[C]

Is it a frog on a lily pad? Surfing? Can you imagine?

[B]

Oh, I mean, can you imagine for even a minute?

[A]

I don't know. Maybe.

[B]

So what crosses a river without getting wet? Is this like a person in a boat?

[A]

No.

[C]

Okay, Disney's Surf Frog starring Will Arnett is frog.

[A]

I don't. I don't want to keep being in this little bo. I want to go to the ocean and win competitions.

[B]

This is Will Arnett and Minnie Driver.

[C]

As lily pad you.

[A]

I'm never gonna surfer the ocean.

[C]

Finally, she's letting her true accent soar.

[B]

It's what we've always wanted for Minnie Driver.

[A]

Someone kids know all about.

[B]

It's not a frog on a lily pad.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah. Let's take that again for Kids, starring Mr. Beast.

[A]

I'm here with a bunch of people who need a lot of money, and I'm going to humiliate them in front of all of the world.

[B]

And introducing Zendaya's younger sister. What are we doing here?

[A]

What is the answer to the riddle?

[C]

Is the water frozen? Is that why it never gets wet? Is it something where the water's frozen? Is it like a hockey puck or something?

[A]

No, the water's not frozen.

[B]

And the hockey puck would still get wet because it's sweating. Because hockey is very strenuous.

[C]

So strenuous. Yeah, you really bundle up for hockey. I cross a river without getting wet. I climb a wall without touching the wall.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Is this a wave?

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Cause a wave would get wet.

[C]

A rope.

[A]

Can I give you the answer?

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

A shadow. And I would like to see a seat.

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Adol, you are a guy and you have just crossed a river and you realize that your shadow that's still on the other side was too scared to cross. So you're trying to convince him to not be scared.

[C]

All right, so crush the boat here and we'll just go. Oh. What? Hey. Yoo hoo. Dang it. Can you jump and I'll catch you? Can you swim? I forgot. I never taught my shadow English. Should I teach it English now?

[B]

Mother. I see me.

[C]

Mother. I see you. Not sure. Are you doing poetry?

[A]

Sir. Sir, you cannot walk around without your shadow or I'm gonna have to find you.

[C]

Oh, yeah, no, I'm. Well, it's. It's across.

[B]

It's just.

[C]

It's right over there.

[A]

I'm giving out tickets for people who are disconnected. From their shadow. It's called the Peter Pan law. You get it?

[C]

What?

[A]

The city will completely go into chaos if people are disconnected from their shadow. I'm just doing my job, okay? Dogs can't be off leashes and shadows can't be disconnected. I know. I'm just saying this is.

[B]

It's.

[A]

There. Are there. There should be some order to the chaos of the world.

[C]

Sir, sir, how much is the ticket?

[A]

$8,250.

[C]

I'll just pay it. I'm rich.

[A]

Come on, man. Get your shadow. You're not above the law. Come on.

[C]

Okay, I. I do. I think I'm.

[A]

You left your shadow over there. Look how scared he looks.

[C]

It didn't fall. I didn't realize it was scared of water. It stayed. Can I. Maybe I'll get a new shadow.

[B]

I'm melting me.

[C]

Oh, no. My shadow's melting.

[A]

Looks like he's sort of milking. He's trying to get you to feel sorry for him.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

You obviously have to go down to city hall if you want to register with a new shadow.

[C]

Well, if that's obvious, I've never heard of this law.

[A]

It's obvious. I mean, obviously, like, you have to go down to city hall. It takes like two, three weeks to get paired with a new shadow.

[C]

I thought you melted. I thought you melted.

[B]

I'm gonna be tree shadow.

[A]

The tree's shaking his head.

[B]

Now can I join tree?

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

You can't. Stop integrating shadow.

[A]

All right now, sir, you have no shadow. And that is a ten thousand dollar fee. You got to go down to City Hall.

[C]

$10,000? I thought earlier you said 8,000.

[A]

That's if you have no shadow at all. It's an additional $10,000 fee. You got to go down. The universe has some rules, man. We can't be walking around without a shadow.

[B]

Welcome to City Hall. How can I. I'm the mayor, front desk, the horse. Today I'm a horse with a shadow. How can I help you today?

[C]

I'm looking to get a new shadow.

[B]

Lost your shadow. Shadow melted. Yeah, oddly enough, disconnected from the shadow. It melted. Yeah. If it's a sunny day, shadow's gonna melt pretty quick if it's not connected to your reality. Yeah.

[C]

Join a tree shadow in order to kind of stay. They do that stay on this plane, I guess.

[B]

Stay young kind of forever. Okay. Do you know what kind of shadow you're in the market for?

[C]

I guess, like a newer one that has, like, GPS and knows to stay with me.

[B]

Interesting.

[C]

Or like lane correction. So that, you know, if I'm walking on the sidewalk, it doesn't sort of project into the.

[B]

You want like a 2025 shadow if.

[C]

Yeah, if you have one.

[B]

Only thing is, all the 2025 models are really small right now. They'll get bigger in a. I want to say like 14 years, but for a big guy like you best. Yeah, I mean, it's just gonna be a tiny shadow. It'll kind of be like a baby shadow.

[C]

That would be fun, though. Have a baby shadow.

[B]

It would be fun, but will it be legal? No. You're going to want to get something at least commiserate with your size. I can get you a baby elephant shadow.

[C]

Yikes. This is turning into a bullying session.

[B]

It's more like a two year gestation period, though. What else? What else? Oh, I can get you a little tree shadow.

[C]

Um, yeah, tree shadow. Do you have any used shadows? Is the tree shadow used?

[B]

I get a used tree shadow. About your size. Let me fill out the paperwork. Stamp, stamp. That'll be another $10,000.

[C]

What the heck?

[B]

And here's your tree shadow.

[C]

Paid the fine.

[A]

It's you. It's me. It's me.

[B]

It's your shadow.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I have a tree shadow now. Hi. Hi, buddy.

[A]

I'm your own shadow.

[B]

I was in a tree.

[C]

Oh, it's. Oh, my gosh, it's you.

[A]

You left me. Clicks pen I'm gonna have to find you. You can't have a tree shadow if you're a man. You're gonna freak people out.

[C]

Scene.

[B]

The man with a tree shadow.

[C]

That sounds. That does sound like a DC superhero Tree shadow.

[B]

Tree shadow, Yeah. I think it would be awesome one day to be walking around, look at my shadow, and it's a horse shadow instead of a person's shadow. That would be cool.

[A]

That would be terrifying.

[C]

Spiraling into madness.

[B]

That would be terrifying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I would be like, okay, I guess I'm a moon knight now. And people would be like, what's moon knight's power? And I'd be like, this has to be close to it.

[A]

I'm the only room you can't enter. And you can carry me everywhere.

[B]

What am I, a bathroom? And you can carry a little piece of bath water in your pocket. So, kids, let that be a lesson to you. After your bath at night, put a little piece of that bathwater in your pocket and take it with you to school tomorrow.

[A]

No, don't. Jpc. Hey, are you having a hard time getting into your bathroom?

[B]

I thought we weren't going to talk about stuff that we agreed not to talk about on the show. Mariah has locked me out of the bathroom because I keep trying to put bath water in my pockets.

[A]

Okay, we will cut that out. Unless I forget, in which case I.

[B]

Need it to keep me safe.

[A]

Any guesses? It's the only room you can't enter.

[C]

Mushroom.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Mushroom. Mushroom, mushroom.

[C]

Mushroom.

[B]

That's so good.

[A]

Of course I go up, but I never come down.

[B]

Merry go round? Nope. They come down.

[C]

That's their whole thing, baby. I go up, but I never come down.

[B]

Housing prices?

[C]

No.

[B]

Well, no, Aaron, that's pretty true.

[A]

I mean, that's true.

[B]

Oh, balloon.

[A]

No.

[B]

Helium.

[A]

No.

[B]

It just escapes the atmosphere. There's a finite amount of helium.

[A]

You're saying these things that are technically true, but they're not what I'm looking for.

[B]

It goes up but never comes down. A positive attitude.

[A]

No.

[C]

A shark being fired from a cannon.

[A]

That never lands, that stays in the sky. Is that something I should be afraid of?

[C]

I think.

[B]

I think what he meant to say was, a shark being fired by a cannon, as in, a cannon's like, hey, this is your last day. I want the shark badge in your shark gun.

[A]

No.

[C]

Please.

[B]

I'm a loose cannon.

[A]

Shark.

[B]

I'm a loose cannon. You're a shark.

[A]

Hey, my dad was a shark. My dad's dad was a shark. I got no bones. It's all cartilage. Please, sir, don't fire me.

[C]

Bones, teeth on my desk. You're gone.

[B]

If you're a shark, why do you have a horse Shadow?

[C]

Goes up and never comes down. Condensation.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

What goes up and never comes down?

[B]

Infinite balloon.

[A]

No. Your age.

[B]

Oh, that's not true.

[A]

All right.

[C]

I'd like to see a seat.

[A]

Okay, great.

[C]

Aaron, it is your birthday, and you make a wish when you blow out your candles to age backwards and your wish comes true.

[A]

Before I blow out my candles, thank you so much to all my grandkids that have come to my hundredth birthday party. I love all of you very, very much. I love most of you very, very, very, very, very much.

[C]

So, Clark, I think I'll take the dishes and then. Yeah, for sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't have the couch. We just kind of.

[A]

What was that, Colton?

[C]

Grandma, I love you so much.

[A]

And I love you, Colton.

[B]

Happy birthday.

[A]

Happy birthday. What were you guys talking about? I was about to blow up these candles.

[B]

Oh, we were talking about how we were gonna clean up after the party. Cause we don't want you to clean up because we want to do that. For you. So, yeah, Colton was gonna take the dishes, and I was gonna clean the couch.

[A]

My sweet grandkids think I was born yesterday. Oh, don't believe.

[C]

We think you're born 100 years ago.

[B]

Years ago. For real? For real, for real.

[A]

Just a silly old lady. You think I can't hear like a hawk? I can hear like a hawk, and I can't see like one. My vision's very bad. But I can hear everything you say, and I know that you're divvying up all of my cool stuff. Grandma's got a bunch of cool comic books. Grandma's got all the new video games that everybody wants their little grubby paws on. You're not getting anywhere near my PS5 because watch this, Grandma.

[B]

Come on, Grandma.

[A]

Watch this.

[B]

Oh. Whoa. You've awoken the genie of the cake.

[A]

Hello, genie of the cake. You know me. I've done this several times. Age me backwards.

[B]

Ugh. You going back down again?

[A]

I'm going back down again. Run it back. Ugh.

[B]

You've done this so many times. You've lived, like, 50 lives.

[A]

And I want you to use the youth from my grandkids and make them a hundred years old and see how they feel.

[B]

I'm not gonna do that.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

I'll do the reverse one, but, I mean, you're really pushing.

[A]

It slips you a hundred dollar bill.

[B]

Okay, well, I'll do anything for a tip. Okay, so which one? Colton. Colton gets to be zero, or what happens? Or he's 100.

[A]

I want him to be 100. And I want the other one. The one I don't want.

[B]

I'll have to write this down. I'm gonna have to write this down. This is too much. Okay, Colton Hundred.

[A]

Make these boys 100 years old, and I want.

[C]

No, wait, please.

[A]

26.

[B]

Okay, well, how old are you, Colton?

[C]

26.

[B]

Oh, perfect. Okay. That's an even swap. I thought I was gonna have to do some math. I thought I was gonna have to age up. Colton, you're 26.

[A]

Do it. I'm about to kick the bucket. Do it this fall.

[C]

Timothee Chalamet is cake Genie. See?

[B]

He would be such a good cake genie.

[C]

Such a.

[A]

It'd basically be so good.

[C]

He's basically the new Robin Williams.

[B]

Mm.

[C]

All the voices he does.

[A]

Mm. Mm. Okay, you know what? I think we should go on a quick break, and if you don't come back from that break, it's okay.

[B]

What a horrible thing to say.

[A]

Like, if you. If. I'm just saying, like, if you're kidding.

[B]

If you're 100.

[A]

Yeah. If your kid gave you a break.

[B]

If you're 100 and you're going into the break and you're like. And you've lived a long life. No, I just want to be done.

[A]

I just mean, like, if you're. If you listen to the show and you showed this to your kid, thinking that maybe it's a way for you guys to bond and your kid. It's not for them. That's okay. They gave it till the break. That's okay.

[B]

Don't talk about them like they're not in the room. I hate it when a kid like me has. Adults talk about me like I'm not in the room. I'm just saying, listen, kids. You keep listening. It's your day pandering, okay?

[A]

So you have to break.

[C]

Ah, nuts. I missed out on getting the worm this morning.

[A]

Wait, but you're. You talked all about wanting to be the early bird.

[C]

I know. Well, what I say and what I do is two different things. There's quite a discrepancy.

[B]

You've been practicing the worm all year. You said you were gonna get out of bed, flop down on the floor, and start writhing around.

[C]

I know. I love breakdancing, but I guess I didn't get it. I gotta get up more early. Oh, you know what else I need to do early? Acorns early.

[A]

Ah.

[B]

Oh, wait. You mean Acorns early, the smart debit card and money app that grows kids money skills as they grow up that acorns early.

[C]

Yeah. When my kids get out of their eggs, out of the nest, I want them to be prepared and set up for success in the world.

[A]

That would have changed my life because I was growing up being like, why aren't they teaching us how to handle our finances in school? They're kind of just throwing us to the wolves when we turn 20, and I don't know anything about money. And if I had had acorns early, this would have been way easier.

[B]

Yeah, with Acorns early, you start with the in app chores tracker and teach your kids the value of a dollar. Then you can let your kids set their own saving goals and start building healthy bunny habits early. Kids can spend what they've earned with their very own customizable debit card, giving them that extra sense of independence. Plus, with acorn's early spending limits and real time spend notifications, parents always stay in control.

[C]

What do squirrels do with acorns? Are those, like, their pillows? Is that their money?

[A]

These are really good questions.

[B]

They treat them like pillows.

[A]

If your kid, I don't know, is starting a winter lemonade stand and you need to help them stretch that dollar, really start their business, Acorns early might be the answer.

[B]

When my kids are old enough, because they're not quite old enough yet, I'm definitely going to be using Acorns early to help teach them financial literacy. I played around with this tool. It's really awesome and it teaches a lot of great lessons for younger children to start with good money habits early on.

[A]

Ready to teach your kids the smart way to earn, save and spend? Get your first month on us when you head to acornserly.com heyriddle or download the Acorns Early App. That's one month free when you sign up at acornserly.com heYRiddle R I D.

[C]

D L E let's all say what kind of bird we are on three. One, two, three A pretty bird.

[B]

Acorns are their religion for squirrels. Oh Acorns early is issued by Community Federal Savings bank member FDIC pursuant to licensed by MasterCard International. Free trial for new subscribers only. Subscription fee starting $5 per month unless canceled term [e-mail] earlyterms Aaron GPC Whoa.

[C]

What are you doing? I feel like I just saw you at home. Were you in my home?

[A]

Are you thinking you saw a photo of us on your aura frames? I mean, we wear these clothes every day like cartoons, so probably seems familiar.

[B]

Cartoons do this too.

[C]

They simply must. I mean, that's how high the quality is on my aura frame that I thought you were. Actually, I've been talking to you guys for days.

[A]

Aww.

[B]

Oh yeah, you've just been talking to pictures of us. But aura frames fit so seamlessly into your home that you probably thought that we were right there along with you.

[C]

That must be it. And I don't know if you know this, but Aura Frames has unlimited free photos and videos. You can just download the Aura app and connect to Wi fi. One of my favorite features is also that you can add photos to other people's frames if you've gifted to them and they've given you access, which I think is just delightful.

[A]

And you can do little reactions on your aura frames being like, congratulations, that's a funny photo.

[B]

Plus aura Frames. If you buy one, the gift box is included, which is a big plus for me, who hates wrapping things. Every frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no price tag. You can't wrap togetherness, but you can frame it. But I will warn you, they don't tell you this. Aura Frames does not tell you this. But do not buy Aura Frames unless you want to be the number one grandson. I'm telling you, you're gonna be the number one grandson. And it's gonna be really hard if your grandparents have other grandsons because they're not gonna feel like they did their job.

[C]

And I will say I've given Aura Frames as gifts to several family members and it has gone over so well. Everyone I' who has been over the moon.

[A]

Yeah. And do you really want to make your loved ones happy? What am I saying?

[B]

For a limited time, visit auraframes.com and get $45 off Aura's best selling Carver Matte frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code RIDDLE at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code RIDDLE. This exclusive black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year. So order now before it ends. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[C]

Aaron, I just added a photo to your aura frame. It's sort of a belt buckle. I think it's Ryan. Rena.

[A]

Oh, I fell for it again. How did I fall for it again?

[B]

Happy Christmas to us all.

[C]

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[A]

Ooh, guys, I am. I'll be honest with you. Having a rough time with it getting dark at like 3:00pm now.

[C]

Oh, yeah, it does feel weird.

[A]

It is short days.

[B]

You know, I heard that the reason why the days are actually getting shorter is because we've been bad and we're being punished.

[A]

I would say maybe read a book or. You know what? Just remind yourself that you're not alone in this. You can talk to someone. If you are having a hard time with the seasonal depression, I talk to my BetterHelp therapist.

[C]

Oh, Aaron. BetterHelp. A beautiful gift to everyone. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US and BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. They help match you with a therapist that best suits your needs.

[B]

Yeah. And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. You know what, Aaron? You're right. I am going to talk to a book.

[A]

Yeah. And you don't even have to get into a car to talk to your better help therapist. You can just message them anytime. While you're actually going through it this month, don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take the first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Riddle that's BetterHelp H-E-L-P.com Riddle R I D D L E.

[B]

Aaron, you were right. I talked to a book and it made me feel better. Although Huck Finn uses some language that I don't think is really.

[A]

Oh, slowly fade. Casey, Mimi, Fade, fade, fade.

[B]

It's funny, I'm always thinking about it this time of year, but I'm not as young as I once was. But I care a lot about maintaining my physical and mental wellness, which means Cornbread Hemp's CBD gummies are a huge piece of my wellness plan. It's so funny, I have no idea why it gets to be this time of year. And I'm thinking about how I'm not as young as I once was. Oh.

[C]

Same girl?

[A]

Same.

[C]

But also jpc. Your birthday's in December.

[B]

Okay, that makes sense.

[C]

Well, jpc, someone left something under the tree called Cornbread Hemp CBD gummies. Have you heard of these? You've seen these?

[B]

Uh huh. Yes, I have.

[C]

They're made to help you feel better, whether it's stress, discomfort, the encroaching clock.

[A]

Of aging, or relaxation.

[C]

Relaxation. I use Cornbread hemp, CBD and gpc. Let me just say, toss one in my mouth, I chew it, I swallow it, and suddenly I'm at peace. And I'm old as hell.

[A]

All products are third party lab tested in USDA organic to ensure safety and purity so you can relax. Relax.

[B]

Okay. You guys might be onto something with this Cornbread Hemp CBD gummies.

[C]

John Travolta.

[A]

John Travolta CBD. That's awesome.

[B]

And right now. Hey, Riddle Riddle listeners can save 30% on their first order. Just head to cornbreadhemp.com riddle and use code Riddle checkout. That's Cornbread Hemp.com riddle and use code riddle. Ah.

[C]

Age is nothing but a number. A number of years I've been on earth.

[B]

Years are also nothing but physical manifestations of time passing.

[C]

I feel okay.

[B]

I feel okay.

[A]

Okay. Gpc. Open it. Open it. Just as a heads up, it is a gift for me that I just want you to open for me.

[B]

And it's in this lion's mouth?

[A]

Um, yes. And.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Battle.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

Pretty good.

[C]

Mm.

[B]

Opening the jaws of the lion.

[A]

My sweater. It's my new quint sweater.

[B]

It's covered in lion inside.

[A]

Yeah. But it's $50 and it's cashmere.

[B]

Oh, wow. You actually got a pretty good price on the sweater.

[A]

I know. I love quints. I recently got some curtains and a rug from there. And I point to two other animals that have eaten my curtain and rugs that you need to fight to get them back for me. I love quints.

[C]

Oh, and I love quints as well because they partner directly with ethical factories and top artisans. They cut out the middleman to deliver premium quality at half the cost of other high end brands. So you can give luxury quality pieces without the luxury price tag.

[B]

Is the lion something I can find on quints? Because this is a very good lion. I mean, like, I've had way worse quality lions.

[A]

Maybe soon. Maybe soon.

[C]

No animals were harmed at quints.

[A]

I love their holiday stuff, but I really love their home stuff. Incredible sheets, linens, like the most incredible basics for a price that's not spooky at all. Give and get. Timeless holiday staples that last this season with quints. Go to quints.com riddle for free shipping on your order and 300 returns. Now available in Canada too. Oh, Congratulations, Canada. That's quint.com Riddle Q U I N C E.com Riddle Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com Riddle R I D D L.

[C]

E. Now I will tame this lion. Oh. Oh, he's got my leg. At least my cashmere jacket looks nice. From Quince.

[A]

Give us a spin.

[B]

Oh, can you get that leg on Quince?

[A]

And JBZ hit us with that classic song you sing to get us back from break. We do it every episode.

[B]

It's the only day that you can't take the bath water out of the tub. Just kidding. Run into the tub and get the bath water. Even if your dad's trying to take a quiet bath.

[A]

Hey, I'm trying to take a quiet bath. I had a hard day at work.

[B]

Go into the recycling, grab the can from beans from dinner, then run into the bathroom and scoop the bath water in the bean can. Bath water in a bean can be.

[C]

A bean can cause some psoriasis.

[A]

That's what a bean can.

[C]

Bath in a bean can maybe fat bad.

[A]

All right, I want to do some listener submitted kid riddles. Thank you to everyone who submitted one. This is from Jane. Jane says this is from my three Year old Leo. Oh my gosh. So it's actually from Leo.

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

What's the bare minimum?

[B]

Hmm.

[C]

Is this like a hibernation joke?

[B]

That's a really good guess.

[C]

What's the bare minimum?

[A]

Uh huh. You're close.

[B]

Kodiak is the answer.

[A]

Kodiak, like what's the bare minimum?

[C]

The bare minimum.

[B]

Great error. Thank you.

[C]

Is honey the bare minimum?

[A]

You're overthinking it.

[B]

Is it barely anything?

[A]

Nope, you're overthinking it.

[B]

It's the bare minimum.

[A]

One yes. One bear. You love it.

[B]

All right, all right. Leo that has Leo.

[C]

You got us.

[B]

Let's see what does that have? Leo that has Salty. No, that's nothing.

[A]

This just in. Local 3 year old gets podcast hosts good with bare minimum Riddle. We're going to go to ADEL on the scene. Adol. What's going on out there?

[C]

Well thanks Aaron. We are here with jpc who was absolutely stumped by Leo's riddle. Jpc, thoughts on not getting it correct?

[B]

Okay, Boomer, I gotta say Leo's riddle eight.

[C]

Back to you Aaron.

[A]

Thanks Adol. Back to you, jpc.

[B]

Why? My part's done. I don't work for the network. I was a person being interviewed.

[A]

We have to go until break. Say something. Jpc.

[B]

I don't work for the network. I mean I was being interviewed.

[A]

Thanks. Let's go back to ADOL with sports. Adol.

[C]

We all won. Back to you, Leo. Leo, say something.

[A]

Leo. Say something.

[B]

Leo's the boy that submitted the riddle.

[C]

Leo, say something.

[B]

Leo. Now. Speak now. Now's your time.

[A]

We're having some technical difficulties with Leo. We're gonna go to JPC with the weather. Jpc.

[B]

I'm actually with Leo. We're playing, It's a game that he invented. It's called Crayon Checkers. It's on the wall and there's no checkers. It's just crayon. And so what we. Oh, you know what, Leo, I think you just draw it on the wall with crayon. Oh, your mom's gonna be mad at me. Cause I'm watching you and I did big. Um, you know what, it's fine. I don't know the rules in your house. Maybe you can do crayon on the wall.

[A]

That's all we have for news at 6:30. We'll see you in a couple minutes for news at 7.

[B]

I'm getting a FaceTime now. I'm just gonna go ahead and ignore. Thank God for ignore.

[A]

That's from Leo's mom though. She's checking in to make sure you guys aren't drawing on the wall.

[B]

Hmm. Okay, I'm gonna do a. Yeah, I should get it. I should answer it. Hello, this is Spain.

[A]

This works every time. This is. This always works. Adam. I know anything about anything. This always works. Answering a FaceTime with your real face and then saying, hello, this is a Spain.

[B]

Throwing up one hand, doing a little mustache. This is a Spain. Leo is asleep in bed. We're not playing a crown checkers on the wall.

[A]

See? It's working. Oh, I'm sorry. I think I called the wrong number.

[B]

It's okay. Have a buen Sara buena.

[A]

Jpc. She already hung up. You can stop doing this.

[B]

He's jpc. My name is Spanish jpc.

[A]

She hung up. These are from Marcus. Okay, are we ready?

[B]

Yeah, I'm ready.

[A]

Why did the cowboy get a dachshund?

[C]

Why did the cowboy get a dachshund? Oh, because he wanted a long. He wanted to get along. Little doggy.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I'd like to see a scene. Whoa. Adel, you are a dog cowboy, and you are rolling into town, and jpc, you are sort of the bad guy in town, and you are not happy to see that he's here.

[B]

Oh, boy. Whoa.

[C]

Get off this Chihuahua. Tie it up to the fence post here. Morning, partner.

[B]

Morning. You wouldn't happen to be that dog cowboy that everyone's talking about?

[C]

Well, they call me dog boy, sir. How about yourself? I don't see any badge on your chest. Are you the sheriff around here?

[B]

Oh, I don't have a badge. My name's Mayor McCatty. Kitten Matte, if you must know. And this is a cat town. Dog cowboy.

[A]

A hairball goes across the screen instead of a tumbleweed. Yes.

[C]

Huh.

[B]

Sorry. I know that's disgusting, but it's in the road. So what can be done?

[C]

Well, I just stopped to water my Chihuahua, and I'm bringing in a pack of Labradors, taking them to Kansas City.

[B]

I'm sorry, man, those guys are going everywhere. Yeah, those are some of the least behaved dogs on the planet. They're just running all around.

[C]

Yeah, I don't really. I mean, people usually use dogs to herd sheeps and cows, but since I'm rustling dogs, you can see my problem.

[B]

Oh, yes, yes. Wow. I can see many of your problems. And the first being you stepped into the wrong town. Because while I'm a mild mannered, unassuming, gentle little pussycat, my friends here, not so much. And he motions, and there's four big lions, but they're all just like fast asleep. Because lions are just sleeping like 90% of the time. Guys, come on, wake up and roar.

[A]

Or they go to sleep even harder.

[B]

Nah, man, they're just sleeping. Just sleeping. They're supposed to intimidate you, obviously.

[C]

Oh, well, I'm just gonna grab a drink and I'll be on my way. Yeah, let me lock my chihuahua here.

[B]

Just make sure you locked your chihuahua with a little chicken.

[C]

Yes. So the chicken watches the Chihuahua. Chicken.

[B]

Is that gonna wake anybody up? Chicken and chicken and water.

[A]

They're entering REM sleep. They're in a deep, deep sleep.

[B]

They're really out. They are really out.

[A]

Meow, meow, meow.

[B]

There's no bartender, so I guess I'll serve you. What'll it be?

[C]

Oh, do you have any bath water?

[B]

We've just got milk in a very shallow dish.

[C]

Ooh, that is a cat town drink for sure.

[B]

And honestly, we're not supposed to drink it. It's like from a cartoon or something.

[C]

I think it's like. It's like carrots and rabbits. Where it's like rabbits don't really eat carrots. That was Bugs Bunny. Because Bugs Bunny was mimicking Clark Gable. We all assumed from the movie. I think it happened one night.

[B]

Remember, this is a kid friendly episode, so we don't really need to spend a lot of time talking about Clark Gables.

[C]

It's not Bugs Bunny, it's Skibidi Ninja Turtles. Okay, Mimicking Logan.

[B]

Paul. We got it. We got it. And we got there. Anyway, have a good day.

[A]

See, I almost suggested we go on break, but that's not quite right, is it? Okay, this is another riddle from Marcus.

[B]

Is Marcus a adult or a kid?

[A]

I assume Marcus is an adult because he has an email. But what age do you get an email?

[C]

Don't know.

[B]

Do kids get emails anymore?

[A]

They must, right? Or maybe they're on a thing with their teachers. Like a portal. I don't know what's going on.

[B]

Portal?

[C]

No, you know, like other dimensions. Like a nice frizzle situation.

[B]

Aaron, I want to see a scene. You're going to be a teacher and we're going to be at your class and you're going to be introducing us to this port that you've opened up. And you're talking about it like it's a very normal thing that all kids get introduced to.

[A]

Hi, everybody. Welcome back from the weekend. You're all pretty smart, right?

[B]

I don't know. You have all the grades. You tell us.

[A]

I'm looking. Oh, gosh, Lots of mid b High C range. Okay, that's not great. But you guys are like, math and science, stem good. Kids understand math and science from an earlier age, right? Because of, like, we introduced that earlier. Now we know to introduce them to, like, coding camps and stuff like that. Like, you guys get how math and science works, and you could probably solve, like, a math science emergency, huh?

[C]

That was six or seven questions. Six, seven.

[A]

Not right now.

[B]

We're in the second grade.

[A]

Right, of course. But you guys, second graders are smart. They're so smart for eight.

[B]

I feel like I'm smart for eight.

[A]

Children are the future, right? And if you want there to be a future here on earth, I need everyone to learn quantum physics, like, right now. What was the last thing I taught you in math?

[C]

That if Cindy has six apples and we take away five apples. Cindy has one apple.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

This problem has no apples in it. Okay, okay. All right. Cards on the table. Cards on the table.

[C]

Okay?

[A]

These are the multiplication cards. I just am going to shovel. I've the table.

[B]

Never. See these. These are so advanced.

[A]

Oh, gosh. Okay, well, I may have accidentally.

[B]

Four times three.

[A]

You're in second grade. You should know that.

[B]

Really?

[A]

12. Okay, here we go.

[B]

12.

[C]

How did Cindy get 12 apples?

[A]

Okay, here we go. I accidentally opened a portal this weekend. It's totally normal. It's your run of the mill portal to a different dimension. I'm winning.

[C]

In, like, jumps in.

[B]

Jumps in. No, no, no.

[A]

Ah, gosh. He's gonna. No, they're gonna go in there.

[B]

Pools are full of high sea, okay?

[A]

They're gonna be in there for 10, 000 years.

[B]

I'm so sticky.

[C]

We're swimming the high seas.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Swimming pool should be water. This is ridiculous. I'm so sticky. I'm covered in syrup.

[A]

I didn't get your parent signature for a field trip. This is not good. All right, what if we just.

[B]

Who dares swim in my pool without some jams? Hit it. It takes two to pick that go.

[C]

We flash forward a week to the parent teacher conference. My son said he went into a portal and swam with King Salmon to a funky beat.

[A]

Yeah. Your kid has just the most incredible imagination.

[C]

That doesn't sound like my Jeremiah.

[A]

He. Well, maybe that's something you need to foster more at home, because when he gets to school, he creates these cuckoo bananas crazy stories.

[C]

Doesn't sound. Jeremiah just watches csi. He doesn't enjoy fantasy.

[A]

He should not be watching csi.

[B]

So my daughter said that she met King Salmon's unruly child, Flounder, and they made Hip hop beats together.

[A]

Yeah. So it's a game of pretend that we all play. Jeremiah introduced us to this world, and we all sort of play pretend and we use it to learn.

[B]

Mrs. Mrs. Amy.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

None of us are mad. All of us parents just want to know, when can we.

[C]

How do we get to the portal?

[A]

Everybody, they're all having a pool party at the portal.

[C]

King Salmon's doing the dance.

[B]

This robe is at war.

[C]

Go, Salmon. Go, Salmon.

[B]

Wait, what? What did he say?

[A]

Go salmon.

[B]

What did he say?

[A]

Go salmon. King Salmon.

[C]

It's all upstream from here.

[B]

Okay, we have moments before the collapse.

[A]

Let's see.

[B]

The inequality of our society has finally come to a head. Everybody dance now.

[C]

The bears are eating all our eggs. Everybody dance now.

[A]

Why did the doctor remove his doorbell?

[C]

Cause he ran out of patience.

[A]

Oh, I love that answer, though.

[B]

Because the doctor. The doctor was a ringer.

[C]

No, because Ding Dong. Why did the doctor move his doorbell?

[B]

He removed his doorbell. Oh, because it was an apple doorbell. And an apple a day keeps the doctor away. And so he couldn't go to his own home because technology.

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

That locked him out.

[C]

Let him cook.

[A]

Not this time.

[B]

Tim Cook, CEO of Apple Computer.

[C]

Let him cook.

[B]

A type of metal. Meddling kids. Scooby Doo. They go to the door. Knock, knock. Boo. It's a ghost. Scooby in the armor. Shaggy with the sandwich. Scrappy Doo. There too.

[C]

A dog. A little dog. Shaggy. A man who is so tall.

[A]

Not this time.

[B]

Oh, that's exactly what Scooby Doo villain would say.

[C]

Not this time.

[A]

Not this time. Kids.

[C]

Why did the doctor remove his doorbell? Is it something to do with Ding Dong?

[B]

Is it something to do with ring. He had a ring in his ears.

[A]

No.

[B]

Funk.

[C]

Why did the doctor remove his doorbell?

[A]

Trying to win a.

[B]

He was trying to win a.

[C]

Trying to win a door prize.

[B]

He was trying to win a Nobel Prize.

[A]

A Nobel Prize? Yes. Whoa. You got that?

[C]

Doctors win.

[B]

I think Nobel is like a Peace Prize. But maybe if you're like, a scientist, like a doctor who's like, I don't know.

[C]

Hey, I don't know. Aaron, you're going to the doctor just to get a checkup. Jpc. You are a doctor who's obsessed with winning awards. And you think for some reason you have it in your mind that today you are up for an Academy Award. So you're really trying to win one.

[B]

An Academy Award. Specifically, an Oscar.

[C]

An Oscar. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Got it.

[A]

So I just feel like I was talking to the nurse. I was just saying, like, I think I Might have strep throat. I'm, like, really closed up in my throat.

[B]

You do. You do have strep throat.

[A]

Oh, good. Okay.

[B]

But I don't want you to worry about a thing.

[A]

I'm not too worried.

[B]

There is no mountain I won't climb, no sea I won't swim.

[A]

What are you looking at?

[B]

No sky I won't dive to find the cure for your strep throat. You will be healed, right?

[A]

I feel like you just give me, like, a round of antibiotics and some medicine. I actually am relieved that it's strep, because when it's not that, you're like, what do I do? Right?

[B]

Antibiotics and medicine. Do you mind if I try another one? What do you mean, dearest and what was your name?

[A]

You're not. Have you even read my chart?

[B]

I'll just do Angela. It works better for what I'm doing.

[A]

It's not my name.

[B]

Dearest Angela.

[A]

Not my name.

[B]

I am writing you this prescription from the future, knowing that you and I, separated by such great distance, will never meet. But I want you to know you are my one true love.

[A]

Okay? I.

[B]

The one I have pined for all my life.

[A]

Right. Okay, I know. I know what this is.

[B]

How was that?

[A]

I'm an Oscar winning director. You're trying to get me to hire you. I'm not gonna do that, man. I'm sick right now. I'm just ready to go to the doctor and get some.

[C]

We cut to the Academy Awards of 2026. And the nominees for best actor are. Timothee Chalamet as Cake Genie. I want to say Logan Paul as surf frog. And Dr. Bolgan as doctor in yearly checkup. And the winner is. Oh, my gosh. Dr. Bowman for yearly Checkup.

[B]

Thank you so much, Shadow Man. Oh, my God.

[C]

First win and first nomination. Dr. Bowman is not an actor.

[B]

I loved you, Sean. I loved you. And KG Logan. Oh, gotcha. Right in the front. And he's down. Oh, he's down. It was a soccer part. Trying to. Though I. First of all, I want to thank Ang Lee when. Ang Lee.

[A]

That's not even. Who directed you.

[B]

That wasn't Ang Lee.

[C]

Ang, short for Angela.

[B]

Oh, boy. I owe. I owe whoever directed me a big apology. I was calling you Ang Lee. This makes sense because I was like. I talked to you for like, 45 minutes about crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

[A]

I bet. I love that movie. We all did Strep, by the way.

[B]

Brokeback Mountain. What else?

[C]

Life of PI.

[B]

Life of PI. Hulk, why doesn't Engli make movies anymore.

[C]

Probably because of Hulk.

[B]

Oh, they're playing Englie's song. Okay, Angling, get up here and join. Get up here and join.

[A]

Seed.

[C]

Ang is short for Angela.

[B]

Angola. Angola Lynn.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I like when they play music at the Oscars, you know, to play people off stage. I think just once, it would be so great if instead of playing off music, they played, like, Stone Cold Steve Austin's music. And then he just ran out on stage on the Oscars and did his Stone Cold Steve Austin thing. Like in the middle of Jennifer Lawrence, except they get old.

[C]

De Niro throws him a beer, and he catches it, slams him together, chugs it.

[B]

Because it starts with glass breaking, right?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Kids know this. Kids love Stone Cold Steve Austin.

[C]

Love Stone Cold Steve Austin. They love his podcast where he talks about his cats.

[A]

All right, this is from Mallory. Mallory says a lot of nice things that I will read to you later. But this is her riddle. What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

[B]

Parrot.

[C]

A carrot.

[A]

A carrot.

[C]

Which we think rabbits eat, but they don't because of It Happened One Night.

[B]

I think rabbits eat grass and leaves.

[C]

I do want to say something.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Aaron, did you have something?

[A]

Oh, no. Go.

[C]

Aaron. You are Hugs, Honey, which is sort of a Bugs Bunny for the newer generation.

[A]

Great.

[C]

And you don't eat carrots. You have something else. And jpc, you are Helmer Hud, which is sort of a Elmer Fudd for the new kids.

[B]

Mm. Now, where is that weskerly wabbit? I'm gonna find him and then give him a crypto coin.

[A]

Hey, what's up?

[B]

Oh, Hugs, Honey. I wanted to give you 0.003 Ethereum.

[A]

Uh, sorry. I'm kind of in the middle of something. I'm eating a Costco hot dog.

[C]

Boom.

[B]

Flosses for 30 seconds.

[C]

Scene perfect. The perfect scene Perfect.

[A]

The deep sigh so many of our listeners just did was warranted, and we're sorry.

[C]

A Bugs Bunny with a. Almost like Groucho Marx with a cigar. Like Bugs Bunny with a Costco hot dog. Snapping off a bite, being, like, classic. What's up?

[A]

I would also like to see a scene.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Adol, you are a guy who is, like, showing up to a nice dinner party, and you're bringing your parrot with you, and you're just. You're hoping that your parrot doesn't embarrass you by repeating things that you've said. Oh, come in, come in. Let me get your coat.

[C]

Oh, thank you so much. Oh, careful, careful, careful.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. You Brought your bird. I love it.

[C]

Yep, that is Tabasco. My saucy little bird.

[A]

I've heard all about Tabasco. I love your posts about him online. His TikTok is so funny.

[C]

He's a real. He's a real scamp. It does. I mean, it does stink that he has over 500,000 followers and I have, you know, 200, but.

[A]

Right. But you make the money from that because.

[C]

You think. You think he keeps the money. Yes. He has his own bank account. He's learned to sort of mimic what I do and say, so he's been able to sort of.

[B]

Hey, you're here. Oh, Tabasco. Come with me. Let me show you around.

[A]

Wait, see?

[C]

He's sort of parroting what you said earlier.

[A]

It's so weird. He sounded just like me. It was uncanny.

[B]

Tabasco. I have to introduce you to Lorne Michaels. Lorne, you'd love Tabasco. He's gonna be. He's gonna be the next big star.

[A]

That's so scary. I haven't even said anything like that yet. I was going to, but I haven't even said that yet.

[C]

He thinks he's gonna be on snl.

[B]

I guess we could get on your plane tonight. Tabasco. Do you have to check in with anybody or. Wait.

[A]

Tabasco. Are you trying to influence what I say? Are you doing pre Parroting?

[B]

Hey, guys, Tabasco left with Lorne. I'm so. I'm so sorry.

[A]

Why is this parrot talking to me like this?

[C]

Hey, it's also smarter than me because I say Lauren Michaels. Eddie pronounces it correctly, which is Lorne.

[B]

It's the Canadian pronunciation. Lorne.

[A]

I actually don't really feel so comfortable introducing you to my famous friends anymore. I don't really. No, no, you're great. Pre parroting is, I think, really strange. You can repeat stuff I've said, but don't tell me what to say. You know what I mean? Tabasco. Don't like tell me what to say. Tabasco. So get your coat, head out.

[B]

Hey, Megan, a lot of people at the party saw you yelling at Tabasco, and they want you to leave.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah, a lot of people saw you yelling at Tabasco.

[A]

Wait, no. I'm falling for that Tabasco. I'm not going to keep following for this.

[B]

Hey, Megan, it's your husband, Nick. Okay, I think something's seriously wrong.

[A]

Tabasco.

[C]

Why?

[B]

You were yelling at Tabasco, the bird at the party, and then everyone got uncomfortable, and a lot of people wanted you to leave. Maybe just go on a drive, you know, maybe Just like, cool down a little.

[A]

Sorry. Why are you so good at doing all these voices? Tabasco. Can you control your bird, please?

[C]

Me?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

No.

[B]

So, Megan, tell me, who do you think Tabasco the bird is to you?

[A]

Everybody. Everything. Everyone. I don't know. I don't know where my loved ones start and he stops.

[C]

Make an incredible impression of Sigmund Freud. Do we even have recording of his voice?

[B]

Can I posit to you?

[A]

Wait, you're Tabasco.

[B]

A world.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

Tabasco where there is no Tabasco. Or maybe a world where you are Tabasco.

[A]

Tabasco. I want to hear an impression of my friend JPC answering a FaceTime call when he's guilty of something.

[B]

Well, I. You think it would be therapeutic and something.

[A]

Yeah. I want to see if you can do.

[B]

Ultimately, I guess I can get out my phone and do FaceTime.

[C]

I bought Tabasco. A phone.

[B]

JPC. Here we go. Spain scene.

[A]

Okie dokie. I would like to thank everyone for listening. I hope you have a great holiday weekend. It's super relaxing. Is there anything you guys want to plug? Any kids media you want to throw your endorsement behind? Anything?

[B]

I have a couple things that I would love to plug. This is going to be just some general things out in the wild, kicking the back of a seat. Definitely love doing that. Hiding crayons. A lot of times crayons are gonna only be useful for, like, certain activities, but if you hide them, you can use them for whatever you want later. What else? What else? What else? Oh, putting little rocks in shoes. It's so fun to pick up little rocks. And it's so fun to hide them in shoes. Because if we're, you know, if we're having secrets and we're hiding things, why not hide little rocks? You can get them later. Sneaking into the fridge, that's fun, huh? Maybe while someone else is, like, at work or taking a nap or something.

[A]

Maybe we should do a slow fade on this Adol.

[B]

Anything to plug the fridge.

[C]

I want to plug Leo for stumping us with the bare minimum, which was pretty fantastic. I also want to plug Salmon's not just a king. It's a delicious food and I know, listen, I didn't try sushi until I was maybe like 19 or something. Get in. Start with scallops. Maybe start with scallops. You'll like the way. You like the way it tastes.

[B]

Have it as much jelly as you want. That's always good.

[A]

Jpc, I would like to thank, if I remember their names correctly, Oliver and Liam, for asking for another one of these episodes. They asked their parents to ask me at our Portland Live show and I'm glad that you did because I love doing these and we will try to do them every November. And also we love you playing in the sink.

[B]

Get a towel if you feel don't be like jpc.

[A]

Adel and I are not going to give up on building you a better world. We love you.

[B]

Bet. Bet on yourself. Don't necessarily grab a towel.

[A]

Don't be like him so that you.

[B]

Can play in the sink without the towel.

[A]

Don't be like him.

[B]

Get the towel later if you make a mess, but play in the sink and have fun. Have fun out there. Play in the sink. Stay off of ladders, but play in the sink.

[A]

Jupiter.

[B]

Created by Adol Refai Starring Aaron Cheese and John Pac Patrick Conan Casey Tony did the editing and Marty Perry did the music. Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus. Hey there satellites and rovers. If you like that, you're going to love this week's Patreon. We go on a mission to Mars with a Mars draft. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com heyroidlevirtle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month or start your 7 day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[A]

That was a Headgum podcast.

[B]

What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris and Hannah Simone and we host the Mess Around a New Girl Rewatch podcast now on Headgum. Now here's the thing. Every single week we chat about an episode of New Girl. And we really get into it. Like we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

[A]

That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking print, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

[B]

We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr. And your dad. We talked to your dad on this show as well.

[A]

Make sure you subscribe to the Mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.