#393: Mr. Mouse Bones

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle #393: Mr. Mouse Bones

Release Date: January 28, 2026

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Overview

In this characteristically chaotic and hilarious episode, hosts Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan (JPC)—joined later by guest Sandy Weisz—tackle movie mashup riddles, banter about cinematic deep cuts, invent instant meme legends (hello, Mr. Mouse Bones), and cap it off with a whirlwind of global idioms. The show offers the usual blend of riffing improvisation, trivia, and riddle-solving, but as always, the riddles are just the backdrop for the gang’s quick wit and infectious chemistry.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Movies Only Straight Men Seem to Love (00:20–04:35)

• Snatch Vs. Boondock Saints
  Erin admits she's never seen Guy Ritchie’s Snatch.
  • “When you are a person who dates mostly straight men… they usually will not stop talking about movies that they love.” – Erin Keif (01:32)
• The gang jokes about the male tendency to rave about certain movies, especially Interstellar and Boondock Saints.
• They reminisce about film fads and question why some films become cultural touchstones in certain social circles and not others.

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2. Uncommon Favorite Movies & Hidden Cinematic Gems (04:36–08:45)

• Each host shares a “cult favorite” film they’ve struggled to find kindred spirits for.
  • Adal: Who Framed Roger Rabbit – “It changed animation… Bump the lamp is still a phrase they use.” (04:44)
  • Erin: Empire Records – “I think it’s the one I get most excited when people love it too.” (06:05)
  • JPC: Magnolia – “You’re not going to sit through a three and a half hour movie just because you’re like, I’ll watch something today.” (08:07)
• Side-tangent introduces the concept of the “IMDB star meter” and if Santa would be more famous than Erin—cue meta-comedy.

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3. Movie Mashup Riddle Game! (13:14–44:06)

Hosted by JPC/Audience Submission from Lindsay—turns of phrase and movie synopses combine for riddle-solving mayhem.

Game Mechanics: Two movie plots/titles are mashed up; hosts must guess the combined title.

Notable Riddles & Answers

• Q: Doubting boy takes train to the North Pole + troubled teen invited to alternative school
  • A: Polar Express-ious (Precious) (13:54)
• Q: Yellow Transformer haunts the recently deceased
  • A: Bumble Beetlejuice (14:31)
    • This spawns a full-on improvised sketch about a focus group for the fake film—one of the episode’s best comedic set pieces (15:13–17:06)
• Q: Bunny boy on the run for murder, must face his fears with friends
  • A: Who Framed Roger Rab-itt (Who Framed Roger Rabbit + It) (19:20)
• Q: Banker wrongly in prison, and zombie-slaying pub crawl
  • A: Shawshank Redemption of the Dead (21:24)
• Q: Santa Claus vs. Street Fighter villain
  • A: Miracle on 34th Street Fighter (21:55)
    • Results in an extended and absurd Santa-on-trial sketch (22:14–24:33)
• Q: Crew finds something terrifying on alien planet—a teenager from the past
  • A: Alien-sino Man (35:44)
    • Leads to a short “cavewoman exchange student” scene (36:14–37:45)
• Q: Oddball cop recruits + high school mean girls
  • A: Police Acade-Mean Girls (40:09)

Quotes:

• “He didn’t want to do this movie. But we found New Jersey’s third best Michael Keaton impersonator.” – Adal (17:31)

Mr. Mouse Bones Lore (29:14–31:16)

• Emerges during a Shawshank/Santa-in-prison riff.
• “As soon as I get near a vent, I can mouse bone my body underneath the grates and sneak out of prison.” – JPC as Santa, aka Mr. Mouse Bones (29:41)

Cue the birth of a new podcast meme—Mouse Bones fever!

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4. Iconic Over-Acting and Cinema’s Wildest Performances (32:02–34:44)

• Debate over “most over-the-top performance in cinematic history.”
  • Daniel Craig’s accent in Knives Out (33:20)
  • Chris Tucker in The Fifth Element, Gary Oldman in multiple films (34:23)

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5. Global Idioms: Literal Translations Trivia with Sandy Weisz (58:48–78:56)

Sandy joins and brings idioms from around the globe, translated literally. The hosts have to guess their meaning.

Notable Idioms and Their Meanings

• Dutch: “Like an angel pissing on my tongue”
  • Meaning: “Delicious” (59:24–59:56)
• Lithuanian: “Born in a trolley bus”
  • Rude; someone who doesn’t close doors (61:12–62:34)
• Lithuanian: “Hanging noodles on your ears”
  • Means: “Lying to you” (63:15–64:41)
• Tagalog: “Itchy palms”
  • Means: “Hoping to get money” (68:14–69:04)
• Arabic: “Pop your liver”
  • Means: “Someone annoys you” (69:21–69:38)
• Portuguese: “Go comb the monkeys”
  • Means: “Go away, get lost” (70:18–70:38)
• Norwegian: “Think suitcase”
  • Means: “Lustful/thinking about sex” (74:39–75:16)
• Italian: “Swallow the toad”
  • Means: “Eat your words” (75:53–76:49)
• Portuguese: “God gives nuts to those who don't have teeth”
  • Used like “youth is wasted on the young”; opportunities are wasted on those who can’t use them (77:03–78:22)

Quotes:

• “This dinner’s like an angel pissing on my tongue.” – Sandy, via his son Ezra (60:33)
• “Tell me you’ve never fucked a suitcase. You’re not living, brother.” – Adal, after learning Norwegian idioms (75:44)

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Notable Running Gags & Tangents

• Mouse Bones Mania

  • “Mr. Mouse Bones” becomes an instant recurring joke, with the team speculating he’ll be a benevolent meme-cryptid haunting social media and underpasses (“I think Mr. Mousebones is going to be like Slenderman, but a more benevolent entity.” – JPC, 42:11)

• Behind the Scenes: Improvised Scenes

  • Santa’s legal woes, improv riffing on the justice system and forensics, jailhouse confessions (“If a whole family accidentally kills Santa, all of them fuse into one Santa Claus…” – JPC, 28:05)
  • “What would you say to Oprah?” “Thank you for years of whatever it is you did.” – Adal/JPC (10:29–10:37)

• Santa vs. Erin’s Fame

  • “Santa’s got to be one of the most famous characters in the world, right?” – JPC (25:38)

• Movie Silliness

  • Absurd ideas for movies (Santa running a prison, everyone in a movie acting as if they’re in a different film, Fast and the Furious: Continental Drift with Pangea as the family)

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Memorable Quotes with Timestamps

• “Clip farming. At this point, you’re just saying stuff to get clipped.” – Erin (05:43)
• “Isn’t it crazy that I’m 30 minutes away from touching Oprah?” – JPC (09:29)
• “You have to leave little Mousebones by the fireplace for him to eat.” – Adal (42:55)
• “This drink’s like an angel pissing on my tongue.” – Sandy (59:38)
• “Tell me you’ve never fucked a suitcase; you’re not living, brother.” – Adal (75:44)
• “God gives nuts to those who don’t have teeth.” – Sandy (77:03)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:20 – Movie bro talk: Snatch, Interstellar, Boondock Saints
• 04:36 – Favorite movies nobody else cares about
• 13:14 – Movie mashup riddles begin
• 29:15 – Mr. Mouse Bones/Mouse Bones riff origins
• 32:02 – Over-the-top film performances banter
• 44:06–58:48 – Ads (skipped)
• 58:48 – Sandy Weisz segment: Global idioms
• 77:03 – Final idiom: “God gives nuts to those who don’t have teeth”

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Conclusion / Takeaways

• Riddles are an excuse for improv: True to form, the riddles and trivia are springboards for fast-paced improvisation, absurd scenarios, and comedic tangents.
• Mouse Bones enters the pantheon of in-jokes: Expect “Mr. Mouse Bones” to linger in fandom and possibly appear in future episodes/merchandise/socials.
• Global idioms are wild: Learning about language is fun—with idioms providing a look into both the logic and the nonsense underlying all cultures.
• Community & Chemistry: The hosts’ inimitable chemistry and willingness to pursue the dumbest ideas make for compelling listening, even for those “barely interested in riddles.”

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Episode’s Vibe

Self-effacing, irreverent, and quick-witted, with improvisational detours and a knack for world-building inside jokes.
Even if riddles aren’t your thing, the group’s comedic energy and banter are infectious entertainment.

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Note: This summary omits ad reads (44:06–58:48) and standard intros/outros. All times are approximate.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[B]

New year, same extra value meals at McDonald's now. Get a savory sausage McMuffin with egg plus hash browns and a small coffee for just $5 for limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California. And for delivery, the doctor was the mother. He stood on a block of ice. Both of them were goldfish. It was the cabin of an air. We got a lot to get into today, but before we get into any of it, right before we started recording, I'm jpc. That's adult. There's Aaron over there. Whatever. It's the show, like episode 400 or whatever. You know the show. Erin said that she had never seen Guy Ritchie's Snatch. Now, now that I'm saying that, it does sound like. It does sound like I'm saying something else.

[A]

Oh, I've seen the movie.

[B]

Aaron said she'd never seen the Guy Ritchie film Snatch.

[A]

And.

[B]

And then she said that she thought it was like a miss for him. And Adel and I were kind of mystified by that incredible movie.

[A]

Yeah. And I genuinely thought they were messing with me for a second because it has never crossed my desk in a way where someone has told me it's like their favorite movie. And this is why I'm surprised. When you are a person who dates mostly straight men.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They usually will not stop talking about movies that they love.

[B]

Interested in love. Snatch. Casey, don't clip that. No, you know what? Clip it. I want that one. Take that one for me.

[C]

I find that most.

[A]

You said entire clip, though, of him asking you not to clip it.

[C]

I find that most straight men typically want to rave about Interstellar.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

That seems to be in the last 10 years. I feel like that is the movie I've been cornered at a party the most about.

[A]

Yeah. Cornered. Yeah. Truly. People will talk at you about that movie. I was lucky that that movie came out when I was in a long term relationship. Obviously still got talked out about it, but I didn't have to get talked at about it on a first date.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is, I think, huge.

[B]

It's huge. I remember, I think probably around the time that I was in high school, you could not find a straight man who hadn't seen and loved Boondock Saints.

[A]

That's what I was going to say. If I had to hear all about Boondock Saints, why am I not hearing about. And I'm not going to say the name of the movie because Casey is going to clip it.

[B]

Snatch is A great film. I also really like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. I think that's a great film. I won't stand behind all of Guy Ritchie's catalog.

[C]

Layer cake.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Is Layer cake Guy Richie? Yeah, right.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You're telling me you don't stand behind Aladdin?

[D]

Rock and roll.

[B]

I forgot Aladdin. Didn't he do a King Arthur movie with Charlie Hunnam? Wasn't that Guy Richie as well?

[C]

I think so, yeah.

[B]

He's done some.

[C]

He's done some bad stuff. He's done some Stinkers.

[A]

Did anyone see Fountain of Youth?

[C]

No. What's that?

[B]

No, they came out this year.

[A]

It's John Krasinski in Natalie.

[B]

Oh, wait, no, that is Guy Ritchie. Yes, I did see that. It was so bad guy.

[A]

We should do that.

[C]

John Krasinski and.

[B]

Oh, fuck. Queen Amidala.

[C]

What?

[B]

The Black Swan. Natalie Portman.

[A]

I said.

[C]

Queen Amidala.

[A]

Oh, yikes.

[B]

Yeah, that movie's a mess. It was one that just kind of like, slinked onto streaming as quietly as it could.

[C]

Hey, real quick. Didn't John Krasinski get paid, like, $80 million for the good News show or something? And then that just floated away into space or something?

[A]

There's a red dot on the forehead.

[B]

Battle.

[A]

Sh, Sh.

[C]

Take the shot. Take the shot.

[B]

Well, okay, so talking about Snatch and talking about how you could, at one point in your life, like, you couldn't find someone that wasn't obsessed with that movie. Do you have a movie that you really love that you have never found anyone else? Not never, I would say, but, like, it's very rare that you find someone else that's like, oh, yeah, that movie. I love that movie. Or I've even seen that movie.

[D]

I mean.

[C]

One of my top two favorite movies of all time is who Framed Roger Rabbit? And a lot of people have seen it, but I feel like nobody. It just never gets brought up. And I feel like it changed. I feel like it changed cinema. And it definitely changed animation in terms of, like, they still use the phrase bump the lamp is still a phrase they use. And it's in the movie. There's a moment where, like, I think Roger Rabbit hits a lamp in a bar or something and it swings back and forth. And it was such a complex shot to get a cartoon to hit a real lamp that now they call it bumping the lamp. And that's a term they still use in, like, CGI and animation today. So that movie is incredible. But I feel like people have seen it, but they just write it off as like, eh, it's just a dumb little 80s movie.

[B]

I mean, hell, you would not have Cool World if it wasn't for who Framed Jessica Rabbit?

[A]

I think also Jessica Rabbit being a touchstone for sex appeal in a cartoon.

[B]

I don't know about touchstone, but.

[A]

At this point you're just clip farming. At this point you're just saying stuff to get clipped. Be here with us, Jake, B.C. you're addicted to your soundboard.

[B]

Hey, if we ever, if we ever decide to make clips for social media, I also want to give us something that we could use on that too. Right? So we, we never are gonna do that though. No, we're never gonna do that.

[A]

I think this is not one that is so unusual, but I think it's the one that I get most excited when people love it too is Empire Records. That just felt like. I think I had to go through most of high school and college not meeting anyone who loved it. And when I got to Chicago and there were so many people who loved it in the improv community, I was like, yay.

[C]

We had a day in the world News tonight Green room before show, where for half an hour we just talked about and quoted Empire Records. And then I went home and bought the Blu Ray and said because I love that movie. And I said, empire Records watch party at my place. And it never happened. I think pretty soon after Covid hit.

[B]

Oh yeah, I remember that it was pretty pretty soon after Covid.

[C]

I think it was on Rex Manning Day.

[A]

Do you think that we all made Covid happen so we didn't have to go to that party? Is that your social anxiety thinking that we did that so we avoided Empire Records?

[C]

Yeah, I think I pulled a bit of a Lucas, if you will.

[B]

I just bought a 4K copy of the thing because I've never seen it and it's on my watch list and it's one of ADOL's favorites. So fuck it, we can't watch Empire Records, but we can do a thing watch party where we watch that movie. I'm trying to think of mine. I think when I was younger my favorite movie was Magnolia and I loved Magnolia and I couldn't find anyone else that was interested in it. But it was mostly because I didn't have any film buff friends and I'm not really a film buff. But like you kind of have to like movies in more than just like a. I'm going to view a movie. You have to kind of be like into the. You're not going to sit through a three and A half hour movie just because you're like, I'll watch something today, you know? So I feel like that once that bridge got crossed with, like, meeting people who had similar aesthetics for film, I was like, oh, okay, now everybody loves this movie.

[A]

So you switched over to Con Air.

[B]

Con Air. I would never put on that list because I can't find a single person who doesn't like Con Air.

[C]

It's a crowd pleaser. Jpc. I do feel like if you ever wanted to, you could very much pull off for Halloween Tom Cruise's character from Magnolia.

[B]

Oh, T.J. mackie. I think something like that.

[C]

I want to say tame the.

[B]

Tame the Snatch guy. Ritchie. Snatch. I think Tom Cruise got his only Academy Award nomination for that movie. Or did he win? I can't remember. It doesn't matter.

[C]

I don't think he's won an Academy Award.

[B]

Maybe he's just a nomination. He's fantastic in that. Just a deranged lunatic. Kind of before the days where he came out as an out and about deranged lunatic. It's very telling for him.

[A]

Gbc, have you thought more about when you want to come out as a deranged lunatic? I know that you sort of waiting for the right moment in culture.

[B]

I think I want kind of the right moment in culture because here's the thing, it's not Scientology for me. Scientology was great for Tom Cruise. I will not begrudge, you know, him for doing that. It made sense for him at the time. It's kind of a dusty religion at this point, and it's old hat. I'm waiting for the next big new, like, shining cult religion. I'll get on the ground floor of that one and then I'll start jumping on Oprah's couch. Not on a TV show, mind you, but, like, break into her, like, I'm assuming Chicago high rise and jump on her couch.

[C]

I think she lives on Lakeshore.

[B]

Okay, great. I know where that is.

[C]

Nearby.

[B]

I could get there in 30 minutes. Isn't it crazy that I'm 30 minutes away from just like touching Oprah? I could do that. Yet every day you'd have to run.

[C]

Around some bodyguards for about 45 minutes. That was even Benny Hill. That sounded like the Star wars thing.

[B]

I can't get sued. We can't. We can't. It's a main feed episode. We can't use the real Benny Hill jingle. And I definitely do remember, but everyone.

[A]

Gives their best shot at like sort of like a offbeat Benny Hill jingle.

[B]

Is that close? That's very close.

[A]

Without us getting doxxed.

[B]

Yeah, doxxed. All right, JBC punishment.

[A]

Adel and I are going to hold down the fort. You go see Oprah by the end of the episode, come back, you're back in time for plugs.

[B]

I don't think I have anything to say to Oprah. Really? What would you say? Yeah, what would you say to Oprah?

[C]

Thank you. Thank you for years of whatever it is you did.

[A]

Everything she's done recently has been. You're not going to believe this. A little out of touch.

[B]

For a.

[C]

Woman who bought 1/4 of Hawaii. You think she's out of touch?

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I would say, like, thank you for what's. What's. What was her. Oh, Precious. I'd be like, oprah, thank you so much for Precious.

[C]

Did she have something to do with it?

[B]

I think she financed it and she was in it, right? Oh, I don't remember that. Am I wrong? Maybe she just financed it.

[C]

And.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[C]

This is based on the book Push by Sapphire.

[B]

By Sapphire.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Oprah's done. Oprah has acted. Right. She's done something.

[C]

She's in the Color Purple.

[B]

She was in the Color Purple. She was in something else, too.

[C]

She played the character Harpo. Which Harpo is Oprah back? Well, Oprah is Harpo backwards.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

So I don't know if she was.

[A]

She was a voice in Princess and the Frog.

[C]

Was she really beloved?

[B]

She was in Beloved. That's right. Okay. I'm remembering that now. I've only ever seen two Oprah movies, and I think it's Beloved in the Color Purple.

[A]

You've seen the Princess and the Frog, though.

[B]

Yeah, but I don't count animation, because with animation, I'll watch a whole movie and then look up who was in it and go, who the fuck were they? I can't. Like, I have, like, voice blindness. I don't. I don't recognize people just by their voice. I was watching a National Geographics thing the other day, and Mariah just, like, came in the room, and she was like, is Josh Gad doing a voice? Like, was he putting on, like, a character voice? And I was like, this is not Josh Gad. And then I looked it up, and I was like, yes, it is.

[C]

Is he taking over for Richard Attenborough?

[B]

It was like, Josh Gad. Like, trying not to sound like Josh Gad. And I was like, if you hired Josh Gadget, I assume. I don't think they're like, hey, can you do something different from what you do. It's just a voice. I know, but tricked me. Fooled me. But I'm not hard to fool. So. Hey, guys, how about some riddles, huh? We gonna do some riddles today? No? Great.

[C]

Get fucked.

[A]

Get fucked.

[C]

Fucked.

[B]

Well, hey, here's what I'll say. I won't get fucked, but I will give you some riddles. And maybe at the end, I get fucked. Who knows? We'll see how it ends up, how it shakes out. So these riddles are from Lindsay. And Lindsay submitted these riddles, I gotta say, almost six years ago, which is fun, but I don't. These seem like the type of riddle that we definitely have done on the show before. I just could not find any record that we've done these riddles on the show before. But it seems right up our alley. And it's amazing that we let it sit for six years. Not amazing. That's just kind of how this is.

[C]

Like opening a time capsule.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

It's amazing. It's amazing.

[B]

Lindsay writes, this is a movie word game based on mashing of two film synopses and the titles. So the last word, slash, syllable of the first movie makes the first word, slash, syllable of the second movie. So two, I'm giving you synopsis. You take the titles and mash them together.

[C]

Gotcha.

[B]

So an example would be a doubting young boy takes an extraordinary train ride to the North Pole while a young, overweight, abused, illiterate teen who is pregnant with her second child is invited to enroll in an alternative school in hopes to change her life around.

[C]

Wow. Polar Express. We just talked about it.

[A]

Precious.

[C]

I know, but Polar Expressius.

[B]

Polar Expressius.

[A]

My brain couldn't combine them, though.

[B]

I was like, Polar Express based on the novel.

[A]

My brain was going, polar Express novel mush by Santa.

[B]

Okay, so you get how it works. So you're mashing them up with the first and last syllable. Here's your next one. This yellow Transformer goes solo to haunt and torment the recently deceased Bumble Beetlejuice. Bumble Beetlejuice. Yes.

[C]

Bum bum bum bum.

[B]

All right. Are you doing another Bum Bum Bumblebee? No, it gotta be free to use.

[A]

I would actually like to do a scene really quick.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

I'm going to be in a focus group talking to you guys about your experience. Just watching the Transformers and Beetlejuice mashup movie Bumble Beetlejuice. And you're going to be giving me the feedback that maybe it wasn't a great call to make this movie. Okay, thank you. Just hand up your Questionnaires. And now at this point, I just want to hear from you guys. I want to hear what you loved, what you liked, what you think we could maybe tweak in an edit, turn up the color saturation? What do we think?

[C]

Yeah, I didn't like the part or I needed to be tweaked. When Beetlejuice turns into a car, I thought that was dumb and bad.

[A]

Oh, which time?

[C]

The third time.

[A]

Okay, great.

[C]

The third time when he turns into a Maserati.

[A]

Oh, you didn't like when he turned into a Maserati?

[C]

No, I thought it was dumb and looked terrible.

[B]

So am I to understand.

[A]

Terrible.

[B]

Am I to understand that we're not watching. We're not watching the finished movie that you're gonna use our suggestions and add feedback to?

[A]

Okay, obviously we're not going to do any reshoots, but if there was a scene that maybe you found offensive or a scene you thought went on too long, we could maybe fix it a little bit.

[B]

In the edit, there was a scene. I don't know. I mean, I guess it was not the emotional climax, but where Bumblebee is kind of telling Beetlejuice how he, like, really feels about being a car. And then at one point, it seems like whoever was operating the camera, they saw, like, an interesting bird in a tree, and the focus really shifted to that bird in the tree for maybe, I don't know, two minutes, and then the bird flew away, and then they shifted back into the scene. Was that. Was that supposed to happen? Or is that part of.

[A]

So you notice that?

[C]

Yeah. Is that, like a Terrence Malick move, or is that just an accident?

[A]

It was an accident. And you're not gonna believe this. This movie was quite expensive to shoot. It turns out it's a lot of money to turn Beetlejuice into a Maserati, so we had to just use what we had.

[C]

Okay. Cause there is a moment where Shia LaBeouf enters a house and says, can I be in this movie? And then off camera, you hear, no.

[A]

Well, you hear pause. And then. No, that's.

[B]

I heard the pause.

[A]

Oh, great. You heard the pause. Great. You heard the pause. I love it. I love it. I love it.

[B]

I have a question. So I've seen two Beetlejuice films, right? Great. Thank you. In the previous Beetlejuice films that I've seen, Michael Keaton has been playing Beetlejuice.

[A]

Yeah. Good eye.

[B]

Good luck to you. Didn't know you were Australian. Is there a reason why Michael Keaton wasn't in this movie?

[A]

Well, if you can believe it. He didn't want to do this movie. But we did find New Jersey's absolute. Well, not absolute best because he wasn't available. Third best Michael Keaton impersonator to play Michael Keaton as Beetlejuice in this movie. Turns out the impersonator had never seen Beetlejuice.

[C]

It shows.

[B]

I think I see what happened here. It looks like you maybe hired a Michael Crichton impersonator.

[C]

Yeah. Beetlejuice keeps saying it's showtime. I wrote Jurassic Park. Also, Jennifer Tilly as Bumblebee. It was just her painted yellow.

[A]

Yeah. Yes. Yes. Okay. Another good eye.

[C]

Good eye to you, I think.

[B]

What if.

[A]

What is this that you're. Are you restoryboarding the film? Guys, guys, we can't reshoot this. It is what it is. We're just trying to make it better. Like, what can we add?

[C]

Well, wait a minute. There's a camera crew here right now. Are we in the film?

[B]

Oh, am I in a film? I.

[C]

Hold on.

[B]

I've always wanted to do this. Is he right behind me?

[C]

Please tell your mother that we ate the piece. So can I take that again?

[A]

We're not gonna be able to use these. These are from other movies.

[B]

Yeah, that just happened.

[A]

Scene.

[B]

Okay, here's your next one. Bunny Boy is on the run from a murder charge. But clowning around won't save him when his darkest fears come to life and start trying to kill him and his friends.

[A]

Bunny dark.

[C]

Darnie dark. Dark. It.

[B]

This is so serendipitous because Tawny dark it.

[C]

Donny dark it.

[B]

You got the it part. But we just talked about this movie in a different context. Earlier on this episode, we talked about this Florida project.

[A]

It who framed Roger Rab Itt.

[B]

It's who Framed Roger Rab Itt. It'S embarrassing that Edel didn't get that. But in his defense, we did cut maybe like a 10 minute chunk on the Florida project out of the episode. So we did talk about that.

[C]

I think I just thought Bunny Boy was like a character name. Oh, Bunny Boy. Okay.

[B]

What'd you guys think of the Florida Project? I like that movie.

[C]

I haven't seen it.

[A]

Fantastic.

[B]

Really?

[A]

It's really. I mean, it's kind of a hard watch, but it's so good.

[B]

He's like a hotel owner or hostel owner or whatever. But for a movie that is largely composed of children actors. Children actors usually take me right out of most media properties. It's really good. They do a great job.

[A]

Recently, the kid that played Hamnet and Hamnet, I was like if he got nominated for an Oscar, I would not complain.

[B]

I heard somewhere that if you see a great child actor, most likely you are working with a great director who know because a child is like, they're not going to be. They're not gonna have like a toolkit as an actor. Right. They're gonna be themselves. You're gonna get what you get from most kids. So it's like it takes a director being like not forcing them down a path that makes is something that they can't do.

[A]

If calling like a 20, 30 year shot, the kid from Hamnet's going to win an Oscar. If you're listening to this in 2040, go to my grave and tell me that I'm right.

[C]

Have you guys seen the video of. I forget the actor's name, but it's the kid who played Elliot in ET it's his audition for Steven Spielberg and he starts crying. The little kid is so good. And he starts crying during the scene. And then right after he's done. Spielberg's like, you got the part.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Which is wild. Like in the room to just be.

[B]

Like, you got it. Hey, that's how Hollywood used to work. Now it's all zoom auditions. Here's your next one. A chess loving banker is wrongfully sentenced to life in prison for murder. But this other losery guy slays zombies left and right trying to get his favorite pub and gets no jail time.

[C]

The Shawshank Redemption of the Dead.

[B]

Yes. The Shawshank Redemption of the Dead.

[A]

My brain was like, Shawshank Red Dead Redemption. That's not right. That's not quite right, is it?

[B]

That's a different game. You're doing a great job playing it.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I give you a plus on you playing that other game.

[A]

Thanks.

[B]

An old man goes to court to prove he is in fact Santa Claus and immediately gets his ass kicked by Raul Julia.

[C]

Miracle on 34th Street Fighter.

[B]

It's Miracle on 34th Street Fighter. Honestly, I don't think I would be able to pick what street the miracle happened on.

[C]

Yeah, I've never seen that movie, but I know of it. I know it's a popular. I do want to see a scene.

[B]

Oh, please.

[C]

Aaron, you are a high powered lawyer.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Can't suit everything. Jpc. You are Santa, you're on trial. And Aaron, you are cross examining Santa.

[A]

Mr. Claus.

[B]

Please, you can call me Santa.

[A]

No, Mr. Claus, I'm not gonna do that. Did you grow up eating sweets? You have a sweet tooth, Mr. Claus.

[B]

Santa Claus looks at his lawyers and his Lawyers are both like furiously just scribbling at the desk as any child does. I liked the taste of a cookie from time to time.

[A]

Cookie Funny.

[C]

Leading the witness.

[A]

Oh, no, I'm not. I'll allow it.

[B]

Oh, anyone could have played the judge, but it was the first.

[A]

I got there first. I didn't mention cookies. But you did. You just said cookies being your favorite sweet.

[B]

Did I say cookies? Or furtively darts to the foreman of the jury who's just shaking his head no.

[A]

This is the remnants of what was left of the plate of cookies. A sweet family left out to eat on Christmas morning. Next slide.

[B]

Oh, it's a gruesome murder. Why would you order the slides like that?

[A]

Because we think you did this gruesome murder, sir. Your Honor, on December 24th. No, it was the 25th. Right. At midnight. You went down the chimney like the sex pest you are. You ate a cookie, you got seen. And instead of saying you caught me, you murdered that entire family, didn't you, Mr. Kloss?

[C]

Your Honor, my client is willing to plead guilty to the murder if the opposition drops the 1.8 billion b and E charges.

[B]

Your Honor, could I be extradited to the North Pole?

[A]

No and no. You pled not guilty.

[D]

I'll allow it.

[A]

Come on.

[D]

I'm playing.

[A]

I'm playing this one.

[B]

That's the Supreme Court. They're sitting in on this one. They knew it was going to get kicked up anyway. They knew it was coming.

[A]

See, I'm dying.

[B]

Santa hands Clarence Davis a big Christmas present.

[A]

I feel like it just says bribe on the package. Clarence Thomas takes it with his full chest because he knows nothing's gonna happen.

[C]

What?

[B]

I've always wanted a bribe.

[C]

I do think we've probably. And I'm guilty. This is my fault, I think.

[B]

Send him away.

[A]

We got him.

[B]

We got him. Extraordinary.

[C]

I do think we've done more scenes about Santa than anything else in the world. But I think I just.

[A]

Well, let's look at her on Reynolds pie chart.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Hum.

[A]

Oh, it's jpc.

[B]

Tastes like pie.

[C]

Tell your JPC that we ate them.

[A]

Now the only thing left on the pie chart is scenes where JPC either has brain damage, is JP riddles, or is otherwise deranged. 40%.

[B]

Here's the thing about Santa though. Santa's got to be one of the most famous characters in the world, right?

[C]

Sure. Yeah.

[A]

Not more famous than me. Not more famous than me.

[B]

Let's check their IMDb star meter. I guarantee Santa's got a higher star meter than you, Aaron.

[A]

Let's look.

[C]

Aaron, if we dropped you into any country around the globe.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Do you think from how high she'd die? 20ft, maybe. You break 20ft?

[B]

No way.

[C]

Break some ankles.

[B]

Scary, scary.

[C]

We drop you to any country on the globe. Do you think wherever you land, the people would be like, oh, Aaron Keefe.

[A]

I would like to think they would help me after I've been dropped 20ft.

[C]

I like, they're like, are you okay? And you're like, no autographs, please.

[A]

Are you okay, Aaron?

[B]

If I was dropped into any random country from the height of 20ft and they said, are you okay, JPC, I would know that I had died.

[A]

Why are you in so much pain still, though?

[B]

Oh, Aaron. Because of where I went after I died.

[A]

I'd like to see a scene. Actually, jpc, you are still Santa from the first scene. You've been sent away. And Adol, you're going to be playing his bunkmate in prison, and it's his first day living with you.

[C]

Yeah. So, you know, I just. I was at the bar and two guys came at me and I just took a stool and. Kataw.

[B]

Kataw.

[C]

Yeah, that's the sound that stool made when it cracked open both their skulls.

[B]

Whoa. Damn.

[C]

They live. But they turned out to be twins. Senator sons. Twins of a. Twins of kids. Of a senator. Ah.

[B]

Tough break. Tough break.

[C]

12 years. What are you. What are you in for?

[B]

Well, I mean, just like everybody else in here. I didn't do it. No, I. They got me for murdering a family. Not really how it went. Are you familiar with the movie the Santa Claus? The Tim Allen movie, the Santa Claus?

[C]

No.

[B]

Oh, Jesus. You must have been in here for a minute. Well, basically, the way it works is if you accidentally kill Santa, you become Santa.

[C]

Oh, I see. Jungle to jungle.

[B]

Oh, perfect. Same basic principle. Usually if it's one person killing Santa, it's a clean break. But if a whole family accidentally kills Santa, well, basically all of them fuse into one Santa Claus. And it leaves behind what looks like the remnants of a pretty messy murdered family.

[C]

Oh, Guards.

[B]

Hold on now.

[C]

Something else.

[B]

This is for something else.

[D]

Guards.

[B]

You kill me and then you take the fall. I'm that family. I got turned into Santa.

[A]

Did someone say guards? What's up? Hey, sorry. I was just on the phone with my girlfriend.

[D]

I can meet you.

[A]

Okay. Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I got dumped.

[C]

Oh, Steve, Are you okay?

[A]

No. Boys, I got dumped.

[C]

Open the door so I can hug you, please. Honestly, I'm not.

[A]

Hey, I tried.

[D]

I had to try. I Had to try.

[A]

You had to try. I had to try.

[B]

Where we gonna go? We're just gonna go to the common area. I mean, it's not like we can get out of. Out of the actual prison.

[A]

Oh, you're new, aren't you?

[B]

Well.

[A]

Think I'm stupid?

[B]

In a way. I'm nude. In a way.

[C]

I'm millions of years old.

[A]

No. I heard about you. You can get into weird little small spots. You can sneak out of anything.

[B]

No, no, no, no. H vac systems and chimneys are completely different. Just because I can fit in one doesn't mean I can. As soon as I get near a vent, I can mouse bone my body underneath the grates and sneak out of prison.

[A]

Why are your eyes darting to the vent, Mr. Mouse Bones?

[B]

I.

[D]

No, no.

[B]

I don't have Alex Mac Powers upset.

[C]

We're gonna call you Mr. Mouse Bones. Mouse Bones.

[A]

Mouse.

[C]

Mouse Bones.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I like this. Maybe Mouse Bones could run this.

[A]

Ugh, never mind. I'm gonna go try to win back Linda.

[C]

We have something. I do think Mr. Mouse Bones is something.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

It's a movie called Legends.

[A]

Mouse Bones.

[B]

What about this? What about.

[C]

Let me turn it into a cat and crow song.

[B]

Let me pitch you a movie. Let me pitch you the premise of a movie.

[A]

Go ahead, Dixie.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

You're a person. Like, you're a criminal. You get locked up or whatever. You go to jail or you go to prison. The first day in prison, you know, you're, like, scouting out, seeing all of the characters that are in prison, and you see working out in the yard, the biggest motherfucker that you've ever seen in your life. And it's Santa, and Santa, like, runs the prison, and it's the real Santa. And you don't talk about that ever in the movie, but he just is the real Santa.

[C]

And then, like, you see, like, Jonah, what's his name, from red one. I'm just J.K. simmons.

[B]

I'm picking J.K. simmons. It's J.K. simmons. And Santa, of course, reprising the role. And, like, one day out of the year, they let Santa out to go deliver all the presents, and then he comes right back into prison, just Santa.

[C]

I guess that would not be being let out. That would just be going through.

[A]

And it's never known why he's in there.

[B]

No, no, no, no. But he's, like.

[A]

He's accepted.

[B]

He's definitely. He's definitely a bad guy. Like, everybody knows not to get. And they call it Mr. Mousebones because we have to.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

On his knuckles is ho, ho. And then ho, ho.

[A]

I would wait for that to come out on streaming, but I would watch it.

[B]

Have you seen redone on streaming?

[A]

No.

[B]

Well, then you're a liar, Aaron, because that's basically the movie and you still haven't seen it on streaming. And we just passed another Christmas season.

[A]

Okay, you're right.

[B]

I wish that when they make a bad movie, like Red One, which I also didn't see, I wish that they made it, like, good bad. Like a bad movie that's so bad that it's enjoyable watching. But everyone I've heard that saw that movie was just like, no, it's just regular bad. It's just like a bad movie. Missed opportunity.

[C]

Yeah. Have more. If you're in the middle of filming something. Because so many actors talk about. While I was filming this, I knew it was a stinker. If you recognize that, which they all have to just fucking go nuts. Just put some real mustard on the ball. Have some fun. Do your lines. In a weird way, if you've ever seen Bad Lieutenant Port of Call with Nicolas Gage, he basically changes his character, like, three times. He just changes his acting choices throughout the movie, and it's incredible. That's one of the best movies I've ever seen. And it's dog shit. But he's having so much fun just being like, what if I did it this way? And then 20 minutes later completely changing the character.

[B]

I think when people see a bad movie or they see a performance in a movie where they're like, Stanley Tucci was in, like, a different movie. I think I want to see a movie where everybody's in a different movie. No one's making coherent choices. Because everyone's just like, I'm going as big and bombastic as I possibly can.

[C]

What do we think is the most over the top performance in cinematic history?

[B]

I was just thinking about this.

[A]

Cause we just talked about Sophie's Choice.

[B]

I'm joking.

[A]

I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking.

[B]

We talked about the new Knives out movie on review crew this month. And I was thinking about how funny of a choice it was for Daniel Craig to show up to that first to Knives out with that accent choice that no one asked him to do. It's that I think that is such a big swing of a thing. But it's like. It's tough because you think that a lot of times someone shows up with a big swing of a choice and the director goes, stop it. What are you Doing Stop it. So they have to be a big enough star that the director can't tell them not to do it.

[C]

I think that was a big thing with Pirates of the Caribbean, or Caribbean, however you want to say it, where it's like the first day of filming, the Producers, or I guess Disney, whoever that was, was like, no, shut it down. This is not what we wanted. And then eventually it obviously worked out.

[B]

But I think that for that movie, they thought it was going to be a bomb. Up until it released, they were like, this is not what we wanted. This is crazy. No one will want to see this.

[C]

I think Chris Tucker in Fifth Element is pretty great.

[B]

Huge choice.

[C]

Gary Oldman in the Professional.

[B]

Gary Oldman. And True Romance is another one. Gary Oldman is just like we just.

[C]

Mentioned, three Gary Oldman movies. Yeah, he's in Fairlman as well. He's willing to go there.

[B]

That guy will go there for sure.

[C]

Chew the scenery.

[B]

All right, here's your next one. After a rough landing, crew members leave the spaceship to go off exploring uncharted territory, but return with something terrifying. A teenager from the past. There is another line here that will give it away, but I will see if you guys can get it without that.

[C]

I don't think. I think either of the movies.

[B]

After a rough landing, crew members leave the spaceship to go off exploring uncharted territory, but return with something terrifying. This is the first in a series of movies.

[A]

Back to the future.

[B]

No, this is a horror film. Not all of them in the series are horror films. In fact, the second one is an action. Alien. Aaron.

[A]

Alien.

[C]

Okay, Alien Gonzales. Alien.

[B]

But they return with something terrifying. A teenager from the past.

[C]

Alien. Sino man.

[B]

Alien. Sino man.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Oh, of course, I didn't want to say it, but the next line that they wrote, there was a teenager from the past. Buddy.

[C]

Buddy. I do want to see a scene. Yeah. Jpc, you and I are high schoolers, and we just discovered in our backyard a big chunk of ice that we thawed out. And, Aaron, you have emerged from that chunk of ice as a cave woman.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Hi. Are you. Should I. Are you hungry, Jeff? I don't know.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Are you hungry? Food.

[A]

Am I hungry? I'm cold.

[B]

Oh, we can get you some of my mom's clothes.

[A]

I'm your age.

[C]

Oh, you're like a million.

[B]

Oh, I was more saying that, like, I guess you could wear some of my clothes. I was more saying I could get you, like, like, gendered clothes. I. Yeah, yeah, you can wear my.

[A]

What's that I don't really care.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that skateboard?

[C]

Um, yeah. So it's a bo. Wait, you said skateboard. How do you.

[A]

I've been in ice, but I've been paying attention.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I guess. I guess. People were skateboarding on that glacier. Yeah.

[A]

And snowboarding.

[D]

Whoa.

[C]

She just did a 180 ollie.

[A]

Watch this.

[C]

Holy shit. She picked up an electric guitar, played it while rimming the pool.

[A]

Boys, what do you say I go to high school with you, pretend I'm an exchange student and make you guys popular?

[C]

Um.

[D]

That's crazy.

[C]

Crazy enough to work.

[B]

Cut to two weeks later. That didn't work.

[C]

I heard there was a gas leak. I heard she's not real and there's a gas leak.

[A]

See?

[B]

See? A cute kitten is the star of this movie. But after a heartless thief steals the cat, a rebellious newsboy who dreams of a life as an artist away from the big city has to find a way to save it. Do you remember this movie? This was a movie that was a take on John Wick.

[C]

Is this, like, Argyll or something?

[B]

No, it was where someone steals a cat. So it was all about the cat and the cat's name.

[A]

It's Key and Peele.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What was the name of this, though?

[B]

Well, the cat's name is also kind of a play on John Wick, but, like, not on John Wick, but the actor that played John Wick.

[C]

Keanu.

[B]

Keanu. I think maybe if we had done this in 20, we would have gotten Keanu a little faster.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And what was the second movie?

[B]

Well, Aaron, do you know the second?

[A]

Read it again. I was focused so much on the first half.

[B]

A cute kitten is the star of this movie. But after a heartless thief steals the cat, a rebellious newsboy who dreams of a life as an artist away from.

[A]

Course. Of course.

[B]

All right, I want to. Do we have a few more? So I want to finish these out. A group of oddball characters enlist to join the force. Insert pranks and helicopter sounds. Oh, I would get. Maybe I was supposed to do. No, I can't do it. But school can be rough, especially when the popular click turn on you.

[C]

Tropic Thunder.

[B]

That's. A group of oddball characters should enlist to join the force. But they're talking about a different force here. Adol.

[C]

Star Wars. Empire Strikes Back to the Future.

[B]

The Star Force school can be rough, especially when the popular clique turns on you. What do we think that is?

[C]

Could be any high school movie ever made.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Mean girls.

[B]

Aaron It's Mean girls.

[C]

Stand by. Mean Girls.

[A]

Awesome.

[C]

When the night young.

[B]

A group of oddball characters enlist to join the force. Insert pranks and helicopter sounds. Sound effects come to play in a big way in this. This was a series of movies, I believe from the 80s. They made a lot of them.

[C]

Okay. Oh, a police academ. Mean Girls.

[B]

Police Academy Girls.

[C]

I own all seven police academies in a police academy box set. Dvd. DVD set.

[B]

Do they hold up? I've not seen them since I was a kid.

[C]

I mean, they hold up in that they were always what they are. I mean, I very much enjoy them. They're not good movies, but I love the actors. I love Tackleberry and his idiocy. Michael Winslow should have been a much bigger star. Carved out some nice moments in Spaceballs. You got the bleeps, the blops and the blurps or whatever.

[A]

The bleeps, the blops and the blerps.

[C]

Blerps. Thank you.

[B]

Okay, here's your next one. Paintings. Robin Williams and suicide. A trip to limbo may save his marriage. A foreign prince also travels, but to hide from his bride to be.

[C]

What dreams may come.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

I don't know what the second one is. Can you read the second part of it?

[B]

A foreign prince also travels, but to hide from his bride to be. It's a comedy movie.

[A]

Coming to America.

[B]

What dreams make Coming to America. Yes.

[D]

Very nice.

[A]

Nice. This is a really fun game.

[B]

Yeah. This is a fun game. I was like again, I was like. This seems so reminiscent of a game that we've played. But I don't think that we've played this exact one.

[A]

You know how I'm nothing but excuses.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just want to say that we record for me usually starting at 8am today it was 8:30. 8:45. 8:45. Because my Internet went out. I like you at 7 would be able to do these a little faster. Our brains are. We have morning brain right now. I don't think people realize we have morning brain on this.

[B]

I think people realize that. I just don't think they care.

[A]

You don't think they care?

[B]

I don't think they care. I don't think they don't need us to be fast as lightning on these riddles.

[C]

I think the fact that in this episode, if nothing else, we've gifted to the world we've set free into this realm Mr. Mousebones. And I think Mr. Mousebones is going. I think we're gonna see that scrawled on chalkboards. I think we're gonna see that spray painted in underpasses. I think Mr. Mousebones is going to be like Slenderman, but a more benevolent entity.

[B]

Yeah, for sure. I feel like paddle.

[A]

I couldn't agree more.

[B]

In the children of men world, that will be our world in five years. Like, there's gonna be like, Mr. Mouse Bones. Mr. Mouse Bones. Question mark graffiti everywhere, too. Like, people are gonna be waiting for Mr. Mousebones to come and save you.

[A]

Yeah, you have to leave little Mousebones by the fireplace for him to eat.

[C]

Who? Mouse bones. The mouse bones is what they'll be spray painting.

[B]

We have two more. Two more. We have to do these ones. I'll have what she's having. A plate of connery with a side of evil fighting literary characters like Captain Nemo and the Invisible Man.

[C]

When Harry Met Sally. League of Gentlemen. League of Extraordinary.

[B]

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. All right, and your last one before we take a break. The first vampire and his sassiest drag queen friends crossed the country to compete in Miss Drag Queen America pageant.

[C]

Interview with a. Wong Fu. Thanks for everything, Julie Newmar.

[B]

It's not Interview with a Vampire, but it's the first vampire. So think.

[C]

Is this the Alia movie? Queen of the Damned.

[B]

That's Queen of the damned.

[C]

Oh, Nosferat 2. Wong Fu. Thanks for everything, Julie Newmar.

[B]

Yes, it is. That I was joking about.

[C]

I didn't realize that was actually the Aaliyah movie.

[B]

Queen of the Damned I think is also one of the. It's like a prequel to Interview with a Vampire.

[D]

Really?

[B]

I think it's an and Rice thing. I think it was. I think so.

[C]

I just remember I never saw it, but I feel like from the trailer, it was like the original vampire. And I was like, oh, that's cool. Yes, Nosferatu would classically be.

[B]

Classically. Well, anyway, thank you, Lindsey, for sending those in. And now thank you, listeners, for allowing us this brief commercial break. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp ADOL. I have a confession to make. I'd love to make it to you.

[C]

Okay. Step into my makeshift booth here. This is sort of a kissing booth, but it could also be a confessional.

[B]

Yeah, I love this.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

According to your sign, the kisses are quite affordable. $45. That's. $45 is so much that it's like, not too much to pay, but it's not so cheap that you're like, this is nothing. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

Thank you. Wish it was any number but 45, but that's fine.

[B]

That's Casey's Favorite number. Casey, don't clip that.

[C]

What's your confession?

[B]

Oh, my favorite confession.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

This is.

[B]

This is embarrassing for me to say. I lost Aaron.

[C]

Wait, Aaron Keefe?

[B]

Aaron Keefe? Yeah, we were doing kind of like a Where's Waldo? Thing, but kind of like a Where's Aaron Keefe thing.

[C]

Where's Erin? Where's Aaron's. Doesn't really rhyme.

[B]

We were taking like a big picture, and then I, you know, got it developed and everything, and I was like, I can't find her anywhere.

[C]

So where in Aaron? Yeah, well, throat throw, two Hail Marys. And I highly recommend BetterHelp. You heard this? You seen this?

[B]

Oh, okay. So better help. Better help is online therapy. So that if you have something that you kind of want to work out, you can talk to a licensed professional instead of going to your friend at his very, very affordably priced, but the wrong number kissing booth.

[C]

Thank you. Change it to 44. Listen, this year I've been trying to make a lot of changes. I'm preparing for fatherhood. I'm trying to sort of let go of a lot of things. I'm trying to not feel guilt if I lose, you know, a friend somewhere. So I suggest you do the same by using BetterHelp.

[B]

Yeah. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US and they have over 30,000 therapists, which means BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 stars for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. And you don't have to wear a red hat with white stripes on it and get lost in a crowd somewhere.

[C]

Well, JPC, close your eyes and let me tell you. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Riddle. That's betterhelp.com Riddle.

[B]

Oh, there she is. Oh, no. That was a kiss. That was a kiss from you.

[C]

Every kiss begins with Keefe Merch.

[B]

Hey, Aaron. Adol. Lovely. Good to see you guys. Actually really do not even have time right now. I got a jet. I have to. I have to go. I don't have time to kind of small talk or any of that. I'm going to live underwater for a week.

[A]

What?

[C]

Huh? We all assumed this was coming.

[B]

I guess I'm just kind of non stop back to back this entire week. So I am going to live Underwater. It's just going to save me a lot of time because I'll be underwater instead of on land. So I'll be breathing the water instead of the air.

[A]

Okay, well, there's better ways to sort of save time. I feel like you're like eating a ton, like cooking so much for dinner and going grocery shopping and doing this whole rigmarole. We could cut that out for you. You could use Tempo.

[C]

Yeah, you gotta use Tempo. Tempo delivers fresh, chef crafted, dietitian approved meals right to your door. Jpc.

[B]

Okay, but let me guess. These meals are gonna be stopping wet because I am living in the water. Or that's probably more of a me living on the water issue than the meals issue, right?

[A]

No, they're dry. And each meal is perfectly proportioned for lunch, dinner, and ready in just two minutes. That means real food real fast. It's not like a sad desk lunch or drive through or stuff that you're throwing together from your sad refrigerator.

[B]

Okay, well, can it beat the variety that I'm going to get under the sea? Because I'll be eating sand. Barnacles. Mostly just sand and barnacles. Does Tempo have those kinds of options?

[A]

Yeah, they got 20 new recipes each week made from nutrient rich ingredients. Tempo keeps things exciting and helps you stay consistent with healthy habits so you don't have to eat sand and jpc.

[C]

If I may, some of my recent favorites from Tempo. Italian sausage Bolognese cavatappe with peas and zucchini. Okay, my mouth is watering. And I've also very much enjoyed their spicy buffalo chicken pasta with roasted cauliflower and sweet potatoes.

[B]

Wow, that sounds pretty good. But the other day I almost ate a crab. He actually ate more of me than I ate of him. Anyway, for a limited time, Tempo is offering our listeners 60% off your first box. Just go to tempomeals.com riddle that's tempomeals.com riddle for 60% off your first box, Tempo meals.com riddle rules and restrictions may.

[C]

Apply, but don't take it from us. Take it from Knifey the Knife, who's a chef.

[A]

Bonjour. It's too late to introduce Knifey. That's too late. Maybe next time.

[B]

Maybe next time for Knifey. Adol Aaron. I am in the dumps.

[C]

Oh, why you sad? What's going on?

[B]

No, I was trying to buy a lemon, but it turns out I was haggling with this guy trying to buy this lemon. I wanted to, you know, make my water a little more refreshing. And eventually I got home with the thing and the guy sold me a bad car.

[C]

Yeah, lemons can be bad cars.

[B]

Well, I didn't know that.

[C]

Have you heard? Have you used Cargurus?

[B]

Oh, Cargurus. I know Cargurus. It's car shopping made for you.

[A]

Mm. With Cargurus Discover, you can skip the filters and describe what you're looking for in your own words. Simply type what you want, and Cargurus Discover instantly services real listings and match you with your exact needs so you don't end up with a lemon.

[C]

With more than 4 million listings, CarGurus has the biggest selection of cars, so it's easier than ever to find the right car and the right deal.

[B]

Okay, let me just use it real quick. I'm going to type into yellow exterior, citrusy, lots of seeds inside. Oh, okay. Well, this is great, because with car gurus, you can compare cars side by side, check pricing, and estimate your final cost so you can navigate the dealership with confidence.

[A]

It's no wonder Cargurus is the number one most visited car shopping site according to SimilarWeb's estimated traffic data.

[C]

But don't take it from them. Take it from me. Honk, honk. A real car. Buy or sell your ne. Put the brakes on, sweetie.

[A]

Sorry.

[C]

Buy or sell your next car today with CarGurus. At CarGurus.com, go to CarGurus.com to make sure your big deal is the best deal. That's C A R G u r u s.com, cargurus.com Hong Kong. Get in, everyone.

[A]

Honk, honk.

[C]

We're going to the moon.

[B]

Hey. Smells like lemon.

[A]

Adel. Jpc. You may have noticed my new diamond and emerald necklace. I bought it with the money I saved using Rocket Money.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Mm. I realized I was spending, like, $800 a year on unwanted apps and subscriptions. And then. Turns out, I don't need to do that. Rocket Money canceled them for me.

[B]

Okay, Aaron, but this. I mean, this necklace looks really expensive.

[A]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitor spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[B]

Okay, I'm seeing a receipt. Adeline, the trash can here. I don't think Eric wants grab your hand. She spent a lot. She spent a lot on this necklace.

[A]

The app consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give a user a clear view of their financial picture. I've been using Rocket Money for years, way before they were ever a sponsor of hey, Riddle, Riddle. And I love how clear their communication is. If There's a big spend on my card. It will let me know right away. And it will also let me know what upcoming bills I have to pay. And I'll even negotiate lower bills for you. What a dream.

[C]

And for someone like me who hemorrhages money, Rocket money can help set budgets and goals. I get personalized insights and regular reports, and I can receive real time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm looking at Aaron's Rocket Money right now, and she has a goal for a new diamond necklace. Aaron, this is too many zeros. Aaron, this is too many zeros.

[A]

It's like 18 zeros.

[D]

What's wrong?

[B]

Well, let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join RocketMoney.com Riddle that's RocketMoney.com Riddle RocketMoney.com.

[A]

Riddle I have to be honest with you guys. This is not a real diamond necklace. It's a bunch of bugs I convinced to be in a diamond formation. Still costs $100,000.

[C]

Pretty good.

[B]

ADOL. I mean, you know this. Managing a small business is difficult, right?

[C]

I mean, it's just I have cat pies, which is my food truck where my cats make pies that I sell. And it's a real. It can be a real headache to have a small business.

[B]

Yeah. And I seem to recall that the health inspector refused to issue it a rating because he refused to acknowledge that it was a food restaurant.

[C]

Yeah, we've had some. There's been some red tape with, with the animals serving the food, but we're working on it. We're working on it.

[B]

Well, again, managing a small business can be hard. You got to juggle multiple disconnected apps to manage your business finances. You have to be, you know, anxious about taxes. You might be behind on your books. You're always chasing receipts and keeping up with CL invoices. And sometimes you accidentally hire a construction company to bury one of your hosts into a big pile of sand. Completely unintentional. You meant to do something else, and.

[C]

That could be about any podcast co host.

[B]

And yeah, I'm trying not to make this about me. It's not like a cry for, you know, attention here, but it's just. It's just the reality of owning a small business. But Found has eliminated the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all. Banking, bookkeeping, invoices and taxes. No more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky, outdated apps. I got to tell you, this Bulldozer company, their app is trash Well, I.

[C]

Know that Found makes it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can get back to doing what you love, which is solving riddles. And Found helps you find your buried co hosts.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know if it'll exactly do that, but it does identify the tasks that create the most hassle for small businesses. Things like categorizing expenses, preparing for taxes, managing invoices, budgeting. And they built an app that does it all directly from your business checking account so you have time to vet prudential bulldozer companies before you even hire them to bury one of your co hosts at a big pile upstairs. One thing that I love about Found is that it automatically tracks expenses, which means that I don't have to carve out time every week for importing expenses, you know, to go through my purchases to make sure everything is accounted for. And again, I got purchase orders from all kinds of construction companies with all kinds of bulldozers. Found makes it easy to see which one buried my friend Aaron alive in the sand.

[C]

Yep. And don't take it from us. Take it from the electromagnetic recording that we took eight feet underground of Aaron saying this. Take back control of your business today. Open a Found account for [e-mail]. that's f o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member fdic. Join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with Found. Thanks, Aaron.

[B]

That was her.

[C]

That was definitely her. That's.

[B]

Yeah, she said that.

[C]

Yeah, the electro. Electromagnet. That's how you get voices from underground is electromagnets.

[B]

Look it up.

[C]

We're not lying. Hey, Aaron. Jpc. I got us these leather jackets.

[A]

Paul Giamatti. Let's see. Al Pacino.

[C]

Al Pacino. Don't make me laugh. No. Dracula. It's Dracula. Zuko and I want to suck you. Sandy.

[A]

Disgusting. Anyways, Hi, Sandy.

[C]

Sandy, I got you a pink jacket. Put on the pink jacket.

[D]

I've already covered head to toe in this. In this full body condom, so I'm not gonna need a jacket. Thank you very much. Yes. No. 20 minutes.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

All right, let's get into it.

[D]

There's a microphone in here that. Thank God.

[A]

Thank goodness.

[B]

Michael phelps over here. 20 minute breath control. Okay.

[D]

How you doing, guys?

[A]

So, hi.

[C]

Pretty good.

[D]

What's new?

[C]

What is new?

[A]

The year.

[D]

Danny Zuko's here.

[C]

Danny Zuko's here.

[A]

We are feeling refreshed.

[C]

We're feeling we love or hate riddles again, depending on Whatever we decide.

[D]

Yeah. After all this time, are you. What's your state of appreciation or tolerance for riddles? Is it more than you started? Less.

[A]

Still crazy after all these years?

[B]

Yeah. I feel like it's got to be more. I feel like I'm so desensitized to it now. Like, nothing, no riddle can hurt me in a way that, like, maybe at one point in my life it could.

[D]

It feels like that. It feels like when I come. When I used to come on here, you guys were just bleeding from your eyes and ears when. From all the riddles that you've had to endure. And now I think you've. You've come out the other side stronger.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I also. I think I have a greater appreciation for good riddles now than I did before.

[C]

Yes. Oh, good.

[D]

So you'd recommend this for everyone?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Spend five years on a riddle podcast.

[A]

Yeah. And then. Yeah. Yeah. If you want to feel anything anymore and.

[C]

Same thing. That's why we bring you in. Is to up the quality of our riddle input.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Huge mistake, but happy to be here.

[C]

Well, let's get into them and we'll see if it's a mistake. But I feel like you usually put some pretty good offerings on the table.

[D]

Yeah, well, today's is a little different. Today's is less puzzly and more. Well, we'll see what it is. I have a list of idioms from other languages that have been translated literally into English. I'm going to tell you the language. I'm going to tell you the idiom, and you tell me what you think it means. That's it.

[A]

Great.

[D]

That's the whole. That's the whole thing. I'm not going to. I might occasionally try to speak them in the original language, but for the most part, no one wants to hear that, I think.

[B]

Sure. For sure.

[D]

So just to get started, here is something from Dutch. Translated is, this is like an angel pissing on my tongue.

[B]

And. And we have to tell you.

[D]

What do you think it means? It's an idiom. It's not literally about an angel pissing on their tongue. What does it mean? Why would you say that? What context would you say that in.

[B]

If you were angel? Good.

[A]

It's a great wine. Like, wine is like. This drink is amazing.

[D]

That's it. It's very delicious.

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

All soft.

[B]

Why pissing?

[D]

Why? Because that's what angels do. Jpc.

[B]

Why would angel piss?

[C]

You know how somebody came up with a brilliant idea to just put water in a can and call it liquid death? Could we do that, but call it angel piss.

[A]

Angel piss. But it's really angel piss. Adel, I love where your head's at.

[C]

But it really is angel. And it's a cure all.

[B]

Oh, you can sell anything to the Dutch. As long as it's in blackface. They will. They will buy anything.

[D]

I taught this to Ezra, my son, and he spent the whole weekend telling everyone this without context, so he'd be like, oh, this, Mom. This dinner's like an angel pissing on my tongue.

[B]

I think it's funny. If Ezra says that to your wife and she immediately just looks at you and is like, you did this. I know, I know. This is not from him.

[A]

I can't prove it.

[D]

Knows who she married, Let me know.

[B]

It is from you.

[D]

Well, not only is she knows who she married, and yes, it's usually from me. He is. He is half my genetics. So whatever compels me to act also is in there inside him as well.

[B]

Nature versus nurture, man. We all understand.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Here's another one.

[B]

Angel piss.

[C]

Gorgeous drink that makes you horny.

[A]

Someone write that down quickly.

[B]

The FDA says we can't legally say it'll make you horny.

[A]

Oh, dang.

[D]

Here's another one. This is from Lithuanian. Translated, its born in a trolley bus. This person was. If you hurl this insult at someone. Oh, they were born in a trolley bus, first of all. Okay, no, it's not. It seems like that it is actually close. Closely related.

[B]

But it is very specific that that adult sounds, right? Like born barn.

[A]

Like you're always on the move, like you can't stay still.

[D]

No, it's about someone who's got bad behavior or. Or is rude or discourteous. But about a very specific thing.

[B]

Are they always pulling hair or something like pulling people?

[D]

Oh, like a cable on a trolley bus. Ooh, no, no, no.

[A]

Taking up too much space.

[D]

Nope.

[B]

Is it bad behavior that would be exhibited on a Lithuanian trolley bus?

[D]

Yeah, it's a bad behavior that. That is pushing, I guess.

[B]

Jostling. Is it jostling?

[D]

No, no, it is. It's someone who does not close doors behind them.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[D]

A very specific idiom.

[B]

It close the door on a Lithuanian trolley bus.

[C]

Jbz. The more you say it, the more it sounds like a cut outtake from, like, a Monty Python movie of, like, you pull hair on a Lithuanian trolley bus. Like an insult hurled from the French or something.

[D]

There you go. That's what I'm hoping this segment goes is the derivation of a bunch of new idioms. We can all throw into our daily conversations.

[C]

They don't close doors behind.

[D]

I don't know if they do or don't, but they sort of like to criticize people who don't.

[C]

Oh, people in glass throw stones in glass houses kind of thing.

[D]

Something like that.

[C]

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw Lithuanian trials.

[D]

What does it mean in. Here's another Lithuanian one. What does it mean if you're hanging noodles on your ears?

[B]

Oh, you didn't shut the door.

[A]

You aren't listening. You aren't.

[B]

You have wet ears.

[C]

You're wet behind the ears.

[B]

Wet behind the ears is. Yeah, we're just filling this in with idioms that we know. We're just hanging wet noodles on your ears. So you're so hard headed that you could boil noodles. You're so hot headed that you could boil noodles.

[C]

You're so Italian. Your earrings are pasta. Is that it?

[B]

Is that the Lithuanians hate the Italians, Famously.

[C]

Can we get a little hint? Sandy?

[B]

Yeah. Are we close? Are we anywhere near Sandy?

[D]

It is. No, it is more about something you do. I don't even know how to hint this because it has nothing to do with noodles at all. But I guess it has to do with the things you say.

[B]

But the. Wait. The Lithuanian word translated into noodles. So it's like.

[D]

Yeah, in their language. What would you think? I'll give it to you.

[A]

Yeah, please.

[B]

I don't think I'm gonna get it.

[D]

Is to bewitch someone because they will never lie to you. So if they hang noodles, that means they are lying to you.

[B]

What the.

[D]

Lithuania, baby.

[B]

Lithuania. You know, either that is so far outside of my cultural understanding that I just have no idea what it is. Or Cindy incorrectly translated two to three of those words.

[D]

Oh, that's 100 possible. I should say that up front that it's totally possible that this is all made up or.

[B]

Oh, love it.

[D]

Whatever. As long as you don't speak these languages. Who are you to know?

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[D]

Enjoy. All right, in Farsi, what does it mean if they say I rubbed soap on my stomach?

[C]

Well, based on the precedent, Sandy, it could be literally anything. So I'm not sure how to approach the game now.

[B]

I rub soap on my stomach. Farsi.

[D]

I guess what I'm asking is if you were to make up an idiom, if you were to make up this idiom, which someone did at one point, what would you. Why would you say I rub soap on my stomach?

[A]

Like trying to solve hunger in a way that that isn't.

[B]

Oh, that's so good, Aaron.

[A]

Trying to satiate yourself in a way that is not gonna work.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I don't even like if you're in a situation where I just rub soap on my stomach.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

It's an idiom that means I'm fasting today is what you're saying. Nope, it is A cycle is like. It's meant to be a way to describe, I guess, in a situation where you are not sure if things are going to go your way.

[B]

Mm.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Is it like, better safe than sorry? Like, I rub soap on my stomach. Like the people that cover their hands in goo and, like, set it on fire, like the professional stuntmen. You know what I'm saying?

[D]

It's like if you went to someone's house and you really hoped that they made your favorite dish, but it wasn't later you'd say, well, I rubbed soap.

[C]

On my stomach, I cleaned out my tummy.

[B]

I. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, I saved room. I'm.

[D]

No, it means I got my hopes up and then was ultimately let down. I rubbed soap on my stomach, but it was chicken, not beef.

[A]

I'm. I'm about to completely change the way I talk. From now on, I'm going to be talking in this nonsense. Guys, I hope you're ready.

[B]

That's.

[D]

Here's another good one. Okay.

[B]

Rub soap on my stomach. That's just crazy. I'm just. Yeah, okay. I mean, it's got to mean something in a different language. That's probably my.

[D]

To be clear, a lot of these idioms from other languages are the same as in English, but I'm not asking you about those because.

[B]

Got it, got it, got it.

[C]

Fair enough.

[D]

I'm asking you the ones that are weird. Throw booger. Maybe I should just make you guess what language it is, but I don't know how you would even start. Throw boogers in beans. This is Romanian.

[C]

Throw boogers in beans. Throw baby out with a bath water.

[A]

Ruin something.

[D]

Ruin something is right. Screwed up.

[A]

Yeah. All right.

[C]

Okay. Nice one, Aaron.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You are speaking this language.

[D]

Yeah, you are Romanian.

[B]

Although I gotta say, you throw a couple boogers and some beans, no one's gonna be able to tell, you know.

[D]

Jbc not eating dinner at your house.

[B]

What point the. Weren't invited. You weren't invited to have my booger beans.

[D]

Oh, too bad. I rubbed soap on my stomach.

[B]

Honestly, for dinners that happen at my house, you know, I have a two year old cooking, so you're gonna get some booger beans.

[D]

There's some booger Beans cooking your meals for you. Wow.

[B]

They help. They help. And by they help, I mean there's gonna be some boogers in your meats.

[D]

That's right.

[B]

They do the amount of help that they can.

[D]

They're on bean duty.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

What does it mean in Tagalog if you say itchy palms? You have itchy palms.

[C]

Someone's talking about you.

[B]

You are compulsive masturbator.

[C]

Idle hands are the devil's tool.

[A]

Anxious.

[B]

Itchy palms. Guilty conscious. Like you're lying about something or you've done something wrong.

[C]

Time to scratch the coconuts. Time to scratch the coconuts.

[A]

Feeling, like, ready to go? Antsy like that?

[D]

It is sort of the. Yes.

[C]

Time to scratch the coconuts.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Is this on? Say, time to scratch the coconut?

[D]

It means time to scratch the coconuts, which is an idiom from Time to make the donuts.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

John Lovitz from French.

[B]

It's time to scratch the coconuts. That's a terrible idea.

[D]

It is not even a negative idiom. It means you hope financial blessings will come if you have itchy palms. You are hoping for trapped money. Yeah. To get some money. Land your way.

[B]

What does it mean always itching if.

[D]

Something popped your liver in Arabic, Pop, your liver.

[C]

Is this like a bob's or uncle situation? Pop, your liver.

[B]

Is it that you died?

[D]

No, it's not that you died.

[B]

I feel like if your liver pops, you're dead. Right.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I think, like, caught you in a lie.

[D]

Ooh. It means. No, it doesn't mean that. It's sepsis. It's when you are annoyed with someone. It's. They really popped my liver. Was it Prometheus who got their liver constantly eaten out by a vulture and then grown back?

[C]

Stop saying eat now.

[B]

We can't say eat now.

[A]

But we can't say something gross on our show. Starting now. Starting now.

[B]

Sandy should have. Sandy should. Aaron. Sandy certainly should.

[C]

One time we said something about Pop. Yeah. He was tied up and an eagle ate his liver every day, I think.

[D]

And then it healed back or something. Or he grew new.

[C]

Healed back. Yes. This is.

[B]

Yeah. Healed back at night.

[D]

Eagle put it back. Yeah, yeah. All for what?

[B]

All for what?

[D]

Giving us fire. What does it mean if you say go comb the monkeys in Portuguese?

[C]

Go yourself. Go.

[B]

Go.

[D]

Well, these all actually mean second tier.

[C]

Is this, like, pay attention to detail kind of thing?

[D]

It actually does mean go yourself. It means you'll get lost.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

How do you feel about adding that one to your vernacular? Go come the monkeys.

[A]

I'll do it. And I'll say it to Jason.

[B]

I think. I think in English, though, it's gonna make people a little bit confused because we still have cultural memory of the monkeys that banned. And they had that, you know, that long 60s hair. And so people are gonna just kind of assume it's a reference to Comi. Old Davey Jones. Jones almost said Crockett Jones still seems wrong, but.

[D]

Davy Jones from the Monkees, you mean?

[B]

Yeah, but can you guys name any other monkeys?

[C]

Peter.

[D]

Peter Torque, Mike Densmith and the other guy.

[B]

Holy fuck. Sorry. We were looking for Spider.

[D]

Curious George.

[A]

Spider Monkey.

[B]

Is Curious George a monkey or an ape?

[D]

So here's a fun thing. He's a monkey, but he doesn't have a tail, which monkeys do, so he can't be a monkey, huh?

[B]

Well, he could be an injured monkey, right? Like, he could be like a mistreated monkey.

[D]

Yes, but who would mistreat Curious George?

[B]

Did you guys know that monkeys from South America have prehensile tails and monkeys from Africa do not? Oh, because of the continental drift.

[A]

Are you lying?

[C]

Weird.

[B]

No. They were all one at one point.

[D]

They have tails, but they're not prehensile.

[B]

They're not prehensile. They can't grasp.

[A]

You've never taught me anything real ever in my life. So I'm gonna just go ahead and I gotta.

[B]

I gotta go three for. Three for Zufax.

[D]

So, yeah, I was gonna say you said because of the continental drift, but I'm not sure that the continental drift has made all their tales not work.

[C]

Okay, hold on.

[B]

Something. Something happened. It was millions of years, Sandy. Something happened.

[C]

Why have we not done Fast and the Furious Continental drift? They go back in time. Hear me out. They go back. G is about family.

[B]

All the continents together, the family.

[C]

They try and keep the pangea together by driving in opposite directions with like.

[A]

The studio head is just pushing you out of the door while you're trying to push in and saying this. Hear me out, hear me out. All right?

[C]

And then he locks the door and goes, we're stealing that.

[D]

I got some more, I got some more. I got a few more. What does it mean in German? If now this is obvious, I don't even have to tell you. This is German. What does it mean in German to say I want to use the salami tactic?

[B]

Pass.

[A]

Pass.

[C]

Like at the end of a date when you pass.

[B]

Is this. Is this idiom?

[D]

I thought it was an option on this show.

[B]

Is this idiom from, like, anywhere, like 35 to 42? Because pass I'll pass. Pass on this one.

[C]

I want to use the salami, the salami tactic.

[D]

To use the salami tactic, it is.

[B]

Go in hard, but then get soft about halfway through.

[D]

So the thing to know about salami.

[C]

You'Re telling on yourself, you pass that.

[D]

Far into it is that it's served very, very thin, very fancy. Salamis serve very, very thin. So if you use the salami tactic, you are approaching, going through. No, you're going through the information very slowly because it's taking you a long time to get through the whole salami. And that is because you are wary to admit the truth, sugarcoat the truth, or reveal the truth in small bits.

[C]

Okay, and that's interesting.

[D]

That's German. I have it here in German.

[B]

How are we on time? We can lose anything that I said, right? We could just cut. Oh, boy.

[D]

All right. What does it mean to say I also in German? I only understand train station.

[C]

I only understand translation.

[A]

I know enough. I know enough language to get through, like, basic communication in that place.

[D]

Yeah, it's all Greek to me, is what we would say in English. But yes, I know how to say train station, and that's it. I, I, I don't understand which at all. What does it mean in Norwegian to say to think suitcase?

[C]

To. To be a. Want, like to have wanderlust. Did I want to travel? Okay. Nope.

[B]

Think suitcase. It could also be like the slogan for, like, Norwegian cruise lines or something.

[A]

Think suitcase.

[D]

Could be.

[B]

What does it mean to think suitcase? Oh, it means to, like, live very economical. Like, everything you have could be packed into a suitcase.

[D]

It does not mean that.

[B]

Fuck.

[C]

Okay. To always have a go bag.

[A]

Yeah. To be like wanderlust. To be thinking you're close.

[D]

Get rid of the wander part.

[A]

Lust.

[C]

I said wanderlust, like, two minutes ago.

[D]

But it's not wander.

[A]

It's lust.

[D]

Just the lust part.

[C]

To be lustful.

[D]

Yes, to be. To have your mind in the gutter. It's like to say you're always thinking about sex, you're always thinking about suitcase.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

What the fuck does that ask the Norwegian?

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

You got real defensive.

[B]

I can't. I can't understand it. The Norwegians are worse than the Lithuanians. Casey, don't.

[A]

Crazy ways.

[D]

Are you trying to say, jpc, that you can only understand train stations? Because if that's what you're trying to say, just say it.

[B]

It's all translation to me.

[A]

Tell me you've never fucked a suitcase. You're not living, brother. You're not living, brother.

[D]

What does it mean to swallow the toad in Italian?

[C]

To get something done early.

[A]

To just ignore your feelings.

[B]

I like that. Get it over with. Like get something. Just be done with it.

[D]

No, not really. No.

[A]

To bury the hatchet.

[C]

Red. Swallow the frog.

[D]

What does swallow frog mean?

[C]

Swallow the frog. It's almost like. It's like who Moved by Cheese? Or any of these self help books. But it's basically like to get things done to stop procrastinating on the bigger, less appealing items of your to do list.

[B]

Is it like swallow the frog? Is this something like anti French? Because the Italians and the French, they don't necessarily love each other.

[A]

What was that?

[B]

Huh? And can we cut that? Right? Can we cut.

[C]

To swallow the toad?

[D]

It means to eat your words.

[C]

Oh, eat crow.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[D]

Yes. To be embarrassed by what you said. You swallowed the toad, you ate crow.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

Interesting.

[B]

All right, Sandy, I think we have time for one more, so can we get your, like, standout, absolute best of these, you know, translations?

[D]

Yes, that's. That's what I'll do. God give nuts. God gives nuts to those who don't have teeth. That's Portuguese.

[B]

This is. I've seen this bumper sticker before.

[D]

Yeah, that's a. That's. That's a good question. Which of these would you put on a bumper sticker? Oh, you could only choose one of these.

[A]

A suitcase. What was it?

[D]

Fucking a suitcase.

[C]

Is this something about like, God gives.

[D]

Nuts to those who don't have teeth.

[C]

Is this something akin to, like, God gives the hardest road ahead to those who are unprepared? Kind of like. Or to those who.

[D]

No, there is sort of a phrase in English, but it's more literal.

[B]

It's like the. You can't always get what you want.

[D]

Type of thing where it's like sometimes Portuguese you get Portuguese.

[B]

Yeah. Is it that concept of like. I don't know, it's like you can ask. You can ask, you can ask for something, but you, you'll. Or. Or like God gives you what you need, not what you want. Something like that.

[D]

I don't know. Sort of. It's close. It's more like. You ever heard the phrase youth is wasted on the young?

[B]

Yes. Fuck.

[D]

So it's like, given. You're wasting an opportunity.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You've been giving you nuts and you don't even have teeth to crack open those nuts. Which is a thing. We all do crack open nuts with our teeth.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think that's a line from an Alanis Morissette. Song.

[C]

It's like cracking nuts when you don't have teeth.

[B]

It's like a suitcase on a Norwegian cruise.

[C]

It's polin hair on a Lithuanian train. And who would have thought these are idioms?

[D]

Don't eat the beans. They're boogers.

[B]

All right, well, we got there, Sandy. We got there. Hey, Sandy, where can people get to you? That sounds. Whoa, hold on.

[D]

You can't. You can't get to me. Don't even try. Please don't try. Please stop trying.

[B]

Climbing down on an eagle.

[D]

If you've got. If you've got the teeth for some nuts, you can go to my daily word game called radl, which is at RADL Quest. R A D D L E Q U E S T. It's a daily word game where you're transforming words into other words using the clues I give you. It's really fun. And then my company is called the Mystery League, which you can [e-mail] it's a for corporate team building or any kind of puzzle content. I make a lot of puzzles and try to get paid for it.

[C]

That's my life in the biz.

[A]

The coolest.

[D]

Thank you very much.

[C]

Thank you, Sandy.

[D]

Good to see you all.

[B]

Good to see you too, Sandy. And we send you off the same way every time by having you go down on an eagle.

[C]

Casey, cut that.

[A]

Cut everything.

[B]

Adel, is there anything that you would like to plug?

[C]

Yes, I would like to plug Gumshoes and Dragons, a delightful podcast that the three of us do with our friend Anthony. And hello from the Magic Tavern as well. Aaron, do you have anything to plug or promote?

[A]

Check out Quality Time if you're in Los Angeles. It's a monthly variety show that I host that I'm really proud of. You can follow us on Instagram for the dates, gpc, anything to plug, promote, or review to read.

[B]

Let's read a review. If you want to get a review feature, just leave a five star review anywhere that you leave reviews today is a review called It's a Living from Deus Exbroka says. I don't know if I'd say they're funny per se, but I've been listening to them for six years, starting with episode one. My first year of grad school. And at this point I just don't know what else I do with my Wednesday and Fridays. Sounds like you're insane. And wear your puppets.

[C]

Mr. Mouse Bones, take us out.

[B]

Boom boom, boom, boom.

[A]

Jupiter, I'm scared of Mr. Mouse bones coming down my chimney. He can fit under great irritation and.

[B]

John's Patrick Cohen Casey Tony did the editing. Have already parents and I'm counting Logo created by Emily Cardamus and Emily Naporus. Hey there Improvs and books. If you like that, you are going to love this week's Patreon. We do improv starters from a book from 1992. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com hey riddle riddle by joining the clue crew for $5 a month month or start your seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month plus you get those ad free episodes. See you there.

[A]

That was a hit. Gum Podcast hi, I'm Drew Offualo. And I'm Jason Afualo, and we host the Headgum podcast Two Idiot Girls. Each episode we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at at a sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things like weird dating, horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgie you had once, or even a show you're loving and anything in between. So you can listen to two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.