Hey Riddle Riddle #402: "Imagining a Dune Buggy" w/ Janet Varney

Release Date: April 1, 2026 | Host: Headgum
Guests: Janet Varney

Episode Overview

This episode of Hey Riddle Riddle brings in the ever-charming Janet Varney for a classically chaotic, riddle-tangential ride. Janet joins hosts Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan (JPC) to riff on reality TV (especially “Dance Moms”), language oddities, animal puns, and of course, some especially absurd scene work. If you came for riddles, don’t worry—you’ll find them, eventually, but be prepared for meandering detours into improv, pop culture, and animal facts.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Improv Warm-ups & Banter [[00:05–01:43]]

• The group derails quickly from a word association warm-up into their signature brand of comedic confusion.
• Standout moment: Disagreement about how to do the warm-up, dissolving into counting and word nonsense, setting a silly, playful tone.

2. Deep Dive: Reality TV & "Dance Moms" [[01:43–10:17]]

Erin Enthuses about “Dance Moms”

• Erin gives an impassioned summary of "Dance Moms", its competitive structure, and how it traumatized the kids featured on it.
• Quote:
  • “...these seven year old girls have to metabolize being ranked with cameras in front of their moms. And obviously they can't regulate their emotions in this and it's a fucking nightmare mess.” — Erin [[05:24]]

Iconic Reality TV Clip

• Erin describes (with help from the show's editor, Casey) an unforgettable moment where Abby Lee, startled while using her phone during a performance, reverses her wheelchair out of the studio and flees to a police station.
• Scene devolves into speculation about whether Erin watched "Dance Moms" or "Benny Hill" high. [[07:02–08:43]]

Janet's Past as a "Dance Youth"

• Janet reminisces about dancing at Hazel Boone Studio, where tap and classic dance reigned. Erin expresses lasting love for “So You Think You Can Dance.”

3. Naming Conventions: How Lazy Are We? [[10:48–13:37]]

• Adal poses the question: Is “wheelchair” the laziest-named object?
• Others chime in with examples: "butterfly," "raincoat," "sunglasses."
• Notable tangent on linguistic parallels, like in Spanish and French (“fauteuil roulant” for wheelchair).

4. Audience Choices: What Riddles to Do? [[13:47–14:48]]

• Janet is given choices: listener-submitted riddles or animal pun riddles, with Option C being more “Dance Moms” breakdowns.
• Erin and Janet joke about piggyback rides and question the etymology (“pick pack” origin revealed by Adal). [[14:49–16:34]]

5. Extended Animal Pun Riddles Segment (with Scenes and Tangents) [[18:29–68:56]]

Mechanics

• Riddles consist of animal puns fused into real–or almost real–words (e.g., “lemurage” = lemur + leverage).

Outstanding Riddles, Puns, and Scenes

• Lemurage (lemur + leverage): Leads to a zoo improv scene with out-of-place lemurs. [[19:00]]
• Chamomileon (chameleon + chamomile): Quick science tangent on reptile vs amphibian, plus salamander gerrymandering.
• Gnarlywall (narwhal + gnarly): Surfing, Point Break, and a Wally–Point Break robot skit.
• Labradoratory (Labrador + laboratory):
• Magnanimouse (magnanimous + mouse): “That one hurts” laments Janet. [[45:05]]
• Buffaloadown (buffalo + lowdown): “You're low down, thank god, you're low down.” Turns into a gossip-centered animal watering hole scene.
• Gooseifer (goose + Lucifer): Scene about animal hell and Mormon cosmology.
• Bipolar Bear: Prompts polar bear therapy scene with Janet playing Santa as a therapist. [[55:30]]
• Baboon-doggle (baboon + boondoggle): Janet's mind crosswires “dune buggy” and “boondoggle,” launches the episode’s eponymous phrase (“Imagining a dune buggy”).
• Sharkastic (shark + sarcastic): Erin does “crowd work” as a stand-up shark. [[67:03]]

Memorable tangents:

• Animal gestation trivia: Giraffes drop newborns from standing height, humans' helplessness discussed.
• Are Clydesdales exclusive to Budweiser? Can Mr. Clean appear in a Subway commercial? Mascot confusion abounds. [[59:16–60:37]]

6. Stand-Out Quotes

• “I would like to see a scene…” – The most repeated phrase, introducing improv gold every few minutes.
• “This is every sleepover: me, the only one who watched Dance Moms.” — Erin [[13:58]]
• “Horny for beans.” – JPC, channeling the Jolly Green Giant, in a run of mascot impressions. [[63:44]]
• "Did you see Point Break for something, or for fun?" — JPC to Janet
• "Probably for another podcast…so true of so much in the comedy podcast space." — Janet [[30:38]]

7. Final Segments: Plugs & Penguin Baseball [[68:58–72:53]]

• Janet plugs her podcast "E Pluribus Motto" (with John Hodgman), celebrating state symbols and slogans.
• Various upcoming projects: Adal mentions "Gumshoes and Dragons," Erin shouts out her LA show "Quality Time", and the return of “April of the Penguins" baseball episodes on Patreon.
• Listener review readout: “It's funny. I like it.” — Cyntwine

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:43] – Dance Moms deep-dive
• [10:48] – Wheelchair (lazy naming) discussion
• [13:47] – Riddle format selection
• [18:29–68:56] – Animal pun riddle bonanza, improv scenes
  • [24:49] – Salamandering (politics + salamander filibuster scene)
  • [26:04] – Mr. Chameleon Bean sketch
  • [27:37] – Gnarly Wally (surfing Point Break robot)
  • [43:16] – Laboratory + Labrador mash-up
  • [45:03] – Magnanimouse pun debate
  • [47:08] – Buffaloadown (animal watering hole gossip scene)
  • [51:00] – Gooseifer (animal hell improv)
  • [55:47] – Bipolar bear (therapy with Santa)
  • [67:03] – Sharkastic (underwater comedy club)
• [68:58] – Plugs and outro

Notable Moments & Running Jokes

• The “Dance Moms” lore: Erin’s hilarious, detailed recaps of the show and the psychology of reality TV.
• Improv games: Scene prompts are rapid-fire, ranging from animal parliaments to mascot voice casting.
• Language tangents: Odd phrases (“piggyback”), duolingo, butterfly etymology, and more.
• Mascot Impressions: Santa, Tony the Tiger, Mr. Clean, and hypothetical spinoffs (Santa Eel).
• Generous animal facts: Unexpected animal science (e.g., “sharks are older than trees”).
• Callback to “Imagining a Dune Buggy”: The phrase comes from Janet's delightful mis-wiring during pun-solving.

Tone & Style

• Conversational, digressive, and irreverent — the hosts delight in following jokes and improv scenes far from the source riddles.
• Improv-forward — every riddle inspires a scene, with guests and hosts creating on their feet.
• Playfully competitive — everyone celebrates or groans at each solved (or unsolvable) pun.
• Language nerds at play — etymology, wordplay, and translation jokes abound.

For New Listeners

While riddles are promised, you’ll get just as much improv, pop-culture mocking, and linguistics as puzzle-solving. The animal-pun riddles are accessible for all, and Janet Varney’s guest spot brings warmth and additional wit. If you’re new: expect silliness, scenes, and friends finding new ways to riff.

Overall

A quintessential Hey Riddle Riddle episode: barely about riddles, heavy on improv, language quirks, and wild animal energy—with Janet Varney fitting seamlessly into the chaos. Highly recommended for fans of wordplay, improv, and tangential journeys that (almost) always circle back to a pun.