Podcast Summary: Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #310: High School Valentine’s Day

Release Date: February 14, 2025

Overview

In this special Patreon Preview episode of Hey Riddle Riddle, Headgum hosts Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan delve into the chaotic and humorous events of a high school’s Valentine’s Day celebration. Set in Homeroom Three, the episode captures the interplay between students and their teacher, Mrs. Sullivan, highlighting the awkwardness and drama that often accompany teenage festivities. Through a scripted narrative, the hosts explore themes of adolescent angst, miscommunication, and the complexities of teenage relationships, all infused with their signature wit and improvisational flair.

Classroom Valentine's Day Activity

The episode kicks off with Troy announcing the sale of candy grams for Valentine’s Day:

Troy [00:03]: "Hey. Hey. Everyone in homeroom three, student council is selling candy grams. If anybody wants a candy gram for Valentine's Day."

This announcement sets the stage for the ensuing comedic tension, as students grapple with the logistics and personal anxieties associated with exchanging Valentine's gifts.

Candy Gram Sales Discussion

Colton, a student in the homeroom, expresses his reluctance to participate openly:

Colton [00:15]: "Oh, do we have to do it in front of the whole class? Or can we see you later? Or."

Troy clarifies the procedure, emphasizing the immediacy and confidentiality required:

Troy [00:37]: "Well, you would give me $20. You would tell me. You would write down, I guess. Or tell. Whisper in my ear."

Mrs. Sullivan intervenes to maintain order, illustrating the typical middle-school classroom dynamics:

Mrs. Sullivan [00:45]: "Troy, don't get up from your seat, okay? Just stay in your seat. You can communicate with him from the back of the room."

Colton’s apprehension about the process reflects common teenage insecurities:

Colton [01:12]: "I don't really want to pass a 20 up because, you know, I feel like it keeps happening. I keep sitting at the back of the class, I keep passing things up, and by the time it gets to the front, it's either been telephoned or it's been taken or it's been changed."

Troy’s crude humor surfaces as he jokingly accuses Colton of having a crush on Mrs. Sullivan:

Troy [01:24]: "I thought you definitely want to buy one for Mrs. Sullivan, because I know you're, like, fucking in love with her or whatever."

Poem Presentation and Tension

The episode transitions to the poem presentation segment of the class, introducing further conflict. Mrs. Sullivan requests a love-themed poem, welcoming Troy to present first:

Mrs. Sullivan [04:28]: "Yeah, everyone just come in. Take your seats, Take your seats. Let's just get down to it immediately. Who would like to present their poem first?"

Toby, another student, is selected to recite his poem. Prior interactions hint at tension between Colton and Toby, possibly stemming from past bullying incidents:

Mrs. Sullivan [05:27]: "As a high school bully myself, I respect your hustle and I respect your responsibility here in this class."

Colton vehemently denies being a bully, revealing deeper layers of his character:

Colton [05:27]: "I'm not a high school bully, Colton. That's unfair. I'm not a high school bully. I had a reaction to a disgusting poem."

As Toby begins his poem, the classroom atmosphere becomes increasingly uncomfortable. The poem's explicit and hypersexualized content shocks both students and Mrs. Sullivan:

Toby [07:09]: "This is sloppily sucking on beef jerky by Toby. No last name. Because I'm an orphan."

Colton's frustration peaks as he confronts the inappropriateness of the poem:

Colton [07:20]: "Oh, fuck. He's gonna win Best Orphan. He's gonna win Best Orphan for sure."

Mrs. Sullivan attempts to mediate, urging Colton to maintain composure:

Mrs. Sullivan [08:04]: "Colton, uncover your ears. Open your eyes and uncover your ears."

Despite her efforts, tension remains high as the poem continues to push boundaries, highlighting the challenges teachers face in managing sensitive student interactions.

Mrs. Sullivan’s Role

Mrs. Sullivan embodies the archetypal high school teacher struggling to balance authority and empathy. Her attempts to control the classroom dynamics are met with resistance, particularly from Colton, who perceives her as overstepping boundaries:

Mrs. Sullivan [07:38]: "Colton, you and me, we're the same, okay?"

Her references to her past experiences as a "former bully" add a layer of irony and complexity to her character, as she navigates the delicate task of maintaining order while addressing students' emotional outbursts.

Conclusion and Insights

This episode of Hey Riddle Riddle masterfully captures the essence of high school Valentine’s Day through a blend of scripted humor and relatable student-teacher interactions. By highlighting the awkwardness of teenage relationships, the pressures of school activities, and the challenges of adolescent self-expression, the hosts offer a comedic yet insightful look into the trials and tribulations of high school life. Memorable quotes and dynamic character interactions ensure that both listeners and non-listeners gain a vivid understanding of the episode’s themes and humor.

Notable Quotes

• Troy [00:27]: "I knew you're, like, fucking in love with her or whatever."
• Colton [01:12]: "I keep passing things up, and by the time it gets to the front, it's either been telephoned or it's been taken or it's been changed."
• Mrs. Sullivan [05:27]: "As a high school bully myself, I respect your hustle and I respect your responsibility here in this class."
• Toby [07:09]: "This is sloppily sucking on beef jerky by Toby. No last name. Because I'm an orphan."
• Colton [07:20]: "He's gonna win Best Orphan for sure."

Listeners are encouraged to explore the full episode for more humorous exchanges and to engage with the Hey Riddle Riddle community for additional content and discussions.