Patreon Preview #344: King Mumbles pt. 2 w/ Brooke Breit

Summary

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Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #344: King Mumbles pt. 2 w/ Brooke Breit

Release Date: October 10, 2025
Guests: Brooke Breit
Main Theme:
The Hey Riddle Riddle crew—Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)—continue their comedic medieval quest, accompanied by guest improviser Brooke Breit. The episode is a blend of fantastical adventure, character-driven improv, and playful riffing, providing a whimsical riff on “quest” tropes, while poking fun at riddles and their own penchant for not actually focusing on traditional puzzle-solving.

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Episode Overview

The group finds themselves navigating an absurd medieval landscape, seeking an audience with King Mumbles. Along the way, they encounter odd roadblocks, including a chocolate sign, discussions about deodorant and hygiene in the olden days, and a forlorn bridge master named Kevin (played by Brooke Breit). The session lampoons both fantasy quest conventions and their own podcast’s tenuous relationship to actual riddles.

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Key Discussion Points & Segment Breakdown

1. Opening Banter & "Quest" Setup

(00:03–01:35)

• Erin confesses to not wearing deodorant, leading to a riff on medieval hygiene and social norms.
• They encounter a sign made of chocolate, with jokes about the “Dark Ages” and a digression about signage and directionals.
• The party establishes their “quest” structure: go to the king, complete a test, and return home.

Notable Quote
“I guess that’s why they call it the Dark Ages, because we didn’t know that they made signs out of chocolate.”
—Erin (01:15)

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2. Arrival at the Bridge & Meeting Kevin, The Bridge Master

(01:35–10:03)

• The party reaches a bridge, where they're confronted by Kevin, the humorously curmudgeonly bridge master (Brooke Breit).
• Kevin is immediately and comically bad with names, claiming he’d know their dog’s name before their own.
• The group riffs on the tradition of bridge keepers and “elevator pitches,” which Kevin redefines as an “evader”—a tactic to get away from people.

Notable Quote
“If you had a dog, I’d know your dog’s name before I’d know your name, and I prefer it to be that way.”
—Kevin/Bridge Master (03:21)

• Extended banter about the logistics of elevators and trains in medieval settings, including a Train band reference, blending anachronism and absurdity.

“Do you know the band Train?”
—Kevin (10:19)
“I don’t know them, but I’m a huge admirer.”
—Brooke/Erin (10:22)

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3. The Temptation to Fix Kevin's Sad Life

(10:03–12:38)

• Erin pulls the crew aside, warning them not to get attached to Kevin and his “sad backstory.”
• Hilarity ensues as they acknowledge how easily they fall into wanting to fix side characters' woes.
• With the revelation that it’s Kevin’s birthday—and that bridge mastering may lead to an untimely demise—there is mock pathos and attempted emotional detachment.

Notable Quote
“He just said he never has really good times. It’s going to be tempting to sort of fix it.”
—Erin (11:20)

“Imagine spending your whole life trying to learn how to master bridges, and the minute you master a bridge, you die on your birthday. Probably.”
—Adal (12:23)

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4. The Not-a-Riddle Riddle

(12:38–14:44)

• Kevin claims the party must answer a riddle to cross, but instead delivers a “riddle” about his failed marriage, seeking life advice.
• The crew protests that “riddles aren’t really our whole thing,” continuing the show’s running meta-gag.
• The riddle devolves into a story about Kevin’s awkwardness and failed intimacy, with ridiculous detail and empathetic groans from the group.

Notable Quote
“The riddle is, can you explain to me what went wrong in my marriage? Oh, ‘cause I can’t figure it out. It is. It’s a stumper.”
—Kevin (13:27)

“Kevin, give us the elevator pitch. Give us the broad strokes of what...I mean, what was going on in the marriage?”
—JPC (14:06)

“I didn’t know how to touch her. We’re talking about broad strokes.”
—Kevin (14:13)

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5. Recurring Gags, Character Dynamics & Quippy Moments

Throughout

• Recurrent bits about podcasting with little to no riddle content.
• Frequent improv “yes-and” energy and character breaking (“Bing, bam, We’re at the castle,” Adal, 02:45).
• Overlapping quips, interruptions, and direct meta commentary on the conceit of their own show.
• JPC’s ongoing “chaotic neutral” alignment joke.

“JPC is chaotic neutral. Just because he knows how to do his taxes doesn’t mean he’s making society any better.”
—Adal (04:57)

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6. Memorable Quotes Recap

• “You smell amazing, I feel like an idiot.”
  —Erin (00:16)
• “Take a bite, mister. Bite.”
  —JPC (01:09)
• “I guess that’s why they call it the Dark Ages, because we didn’t know that they made signs out of chocolate.”
  —Erin (01:15)
• “If you had a dog, I’d know your dog’s name before I’d know your name, and I prefer it that way.”
  —Kevin (03:21)
• “JPC is chaotic neutral. Just because he knows how to do his taxes doesn’t mean he’s making society any better.”
  —Adal (04:57)
• “The riddle is, can you explain to me what went wrong in my marriage? Oh, ‘cause I can’t figure it out. It is. It’s a stumper.”
  —Kevin (13:27)
• “I didn’t know how to touch her. We’re talking about broad strokes.”
  —Kevin (14:13)

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Tone & Language

• The episode is heavily improvised, with a tone best described as irreverent, playful, and occasionally absurd.
• Banter is rapid-fire, with frequent asides, sarcasm, and in-character self-awareness.
• The improvisers often break character to comment on each other’s bits and the meta-podcast nature of their adventure.

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Summary for Listeners

This episode of Hey Riddle Riddle is quintessentially goofy, prioritizing ensemble chemistry and scene craft over puzzle-solving. The “adventure” is a loose framework for improv, with guest Brooke Breit as the lonely bridge master Kevin—whose biggest riddle is his own emotional baggage. Listeners can expect meta-jokes about the show’s reputation with riddles, rich character work, and affectionate ribbing between the hosts.

If you enjoy comedic world-building, loosely constructed quests, and a heavy dose of self-mockery regarding riddle-solving, this episode—especially with Brooke Breit’s contributions—is on-brand and memorable.

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[Note: Advertisements and sponsor segments have been omitted from this summary.]

Transcript

[A]

You guys, I didn't put on deodorant this morning. Can we hurry this along? I can smell myself.

[B]

Aaron, we're in. We're in olden time. No one's wearing deodorant. I don't think everyone's got, like, bags of flowers or whatever.

[A]

Well, you smell amazing. I feel like an idiot.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Oh, well, I mean, Adel and I have deodorant because we're like, you know, humans, and we put it on in the morning.

[A]

You're hurting my feelings. You must know that you're hurting my feelings, right?

[C]

Must I? I guess I must.

[A]

My general overall point was, can we pick up the pace on this? Like, I don't want this to be, like, a month, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I don't think this needs to be a full month worth of stuff. Like, let's just figure this out. Next 15 minutes, do a chatterbox. Do, like, a small, medium, or large. Yes.

[C]

Aaron, is that. Since you smell like shit, Adam and I should also smell like shit, so we should really quick roll around and pig shit together.

[A]

Okay. If you want to roll around and pink shit, jbc.

[C]

I do. I really do. You don't need my. That's what a good boy would do.

[B]

Oh, wait a minute. Here's a wooden sign. I assume it's wood. I don't know what signs were made back now.

[C]

Take a bite, mister. Bite.

[B]

Oh, it's chocolate.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

I guess that's why they call it the Dark Ages, because we didn't know that they made signs out of chocolate.

[A]

Well, before you ate it, it said castle is a. This way, so. So looks like the right track.

[B]

Let's hurry there. I'm sure there'll be more pig shit we can roll in later. Let's go ahead. And we're going to get to King Mumble's castle right now.

[C]

Obviously, that's the way that we get home. Why do we think we're doing this?

[A]

Oh, I mean, obviously it's like, typical quest stuff. You go to the castle, you talk to the king, you get to go home. Can I tell you a funny story of something that happened to me last week? I went to the show and I had to get my Will Call tickets. And I went up to a security guard and I said, excuse me, where do you pick up the Will Call tickets? And he went, there's a sign. And he pointed at a sign, and the sign was an arrow, and there was a child at the sign, spinning it around in every direction. And then I looked back at him and he was like, is that way. That's true. Anyways. Yes. Yeah. What do you guys think? Like, typical quest stuff. Like, we go to the king. The king tells us if we pass the test, and then we get to go home and put on deodorant.

[C]

Yeah, I guess then he might kill us too, because. Right, because, like, of what we did or whatever.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I guess kings can always kill you if they want. It's like a Connecticut kid in King Arthur's Court or whatever.

[C]

Loosely. What it's based on.

[A]

Yeah, well, let's be honest behavior. So let's just cross this bridge.

[B]

So it's based on Black Knight?

[C]

Yeah, it's based on.

[A]

Bing, bam, We're at the castle. Here we go.

[B]

Okay. Crossing the bridge.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

Oh, I'm sorry. You think you could cross this bridge? Oh, you think. You think you're just gonna come across this bridge?

[C]

I'm not Frank.

[D]

Like, you own this bridge. Like, your feet were made for walking across bridges.

[C]

I'm not Frank. I don't know who you think I am. This is Adol. I'm jpc. Ooh. I want to say it's.

[A]

Are you kidding? We've been working together seven years and known each other Henri.

[C]

That's Henri.

[A]

Aaron.

[D]

I'm not good with names. I'm not good. If you had a dog, I'd know your dog's name before I'd know your name, and I prefer it to be that way.

[C]

Isn't that always the way it is?

[D]

Yeah, it's the way it is. If I had kids, it'd be the same. Same fucking thing.

[A]

We are gonna do the thing that people do with bridges, and we're just gonna waddle on over it and make. Oh.

[D]

Oh, no.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Kind of blocking the way there.

[D]

Very sorry. Very sorry. But them's not the bridge rules.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

You know from around these parts that you know how to cross a bridge, that you have to interact with the bridge master.

[C]

This is good. Yes. You've identified it. Nail on the head. We're not from around these parts. We don't actually know what we're doing here. We assumed that we could rock across this bridge, and we are now being told that that is incorrect.

[D]

Are you speaking with authenticity or are you speaking with sarcasm at me?

[A]

Oh, it's jpc.

[C]

So how to explain my whole thing?

[D]

Give me the elevator pitch once you're finished.

[B]

You guys have elevators?

[D]

I would say.

[C]

I would say I'm not a serious person, but in serious situations, I try to approach them with the grace and aplomb that they deserve.

[A]

So don't lie.

[C]

Well, why not? This person doesn't know me. They said the elevator pitch.

[A]

Okay, the elevator pitch of JPC is he's chaotic neutral.

[C]

Wait, here we go. In a world that way, don't we.

[D]

Set you up In a world.

[B]

Oh, that's actually really good.

[A]

JPC is chaotic neutral. Just because he knows how to do his taxes doesn't mean he's making society any better.

[C]

Adol. Aaron, ever feel like managing your business finances as a full time job on top of your actual full time job?

[A]

Say it jpc or sing it. Whatever feels best.

[C]

So hold on. You want me to do all the finances and you also want me to write songs for the finances? Well, you know what? It did feel like a full. I'm not gonna do that full time job until I started using Found. Found is a business banking platform that lets you effortlessly track expenses, manage invoices and prepare for taxes. You can even set aside money for different business goals and control spending with different vir cards. I have saved so much money because Found helps me identify tax write offs. And I've saved so much time that I can now devote to chasing new opportunities and doing the work I enjoy. Like writing original songs for the ads.

[B]

And Found users have said amazing things like Found is going to save me so much headache. It makes everything so much easier. Expenses, income, profits, taxes, invoices even.

[A]

And found has 30,000 five star reviews just like this.

[C]

Okay, now this is the part of the ad where they just say host ad lib. And I think what they mean when they say host ad lib is.

[A]

So.

[C]

Glad that I Found Found because my business needs are met and I'm going to the moon. I took it too far to get too far back.

[B]

Pull back. Curtain, curtain. Open a Found account for free at f o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member fdic. Don't put this one off. Join thousands of small business owners who have streamlined their finances with Found.

[A]

Hit it, jpc.

[C]

Oh, I'm streamlining all of my finances with Found. That. That wasn't real. Disclaimer text. That was there.

[A]

It's part of the song. Adult jpc. Do you notice? Come in, come in, come in, come in, come in. Do you notice anything different?

[B]

10 inches taller.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

No.

[C]

Oh, for her. Oh, no. We were just. Oh. Adel and I were staring into each other's eyes and kind of feeling each other's arms. No. Aaron, let's Focus on you or whatever. What's your thing? Or whatever.

[A]

I texted you said come over. I need attention. Also, I got something new for my house.

[B]

Ooh, what'd you get?

[C]

Personality.

[A]

It's my new rug from Quint's. Oh, isn't it amazing?

[B]

Gorgeous. Oooh, is that 100% Mongolian cashmere?

[A]

No, that's my sweater. That's my sweater you're feeling.

[B]

Oh, sorry. Let me step off.

[C]

That would be insane for a rug.

[A]

And I bet it was so expensive, right? Not wrong. It was just $60. There's classic denim I can get from Quint, real leather wool outwear, and my new rug. Ooh, look, I'm making a snow angel on my new rug.

[B]

I'll look in a minute.

[A]

I love Quint.

[B]

I'll look in a minute. Erin, I'm looking into JPC's ey. JPC. I feel like you would look amazing in their suede trucker jacket. It's perfect for layering. Even though you got these 10 inch pythons now. You big biceps. It just looks really casual but put together.

[C]

And by partnering directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middleman to deliver premium quality at half the cost of similar brands. And Adol. I gotta say, it looks like somebody cut the middle out of you and just left. Fucking chiseled abs. What's going on, my man?

[A]

You guys. You guys, I've been sick. I'm not just obsessed with their rugs, but I also love their bedding. I have their sheets, bath, cookware, travel accessories, and my wardrobe. What do you guys do?

[B]

Yeah, cool.

[A]

Why don't you look at me?

[B]

It's all amazing. Aaron, just calm down.

[A]

Layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Go to quince.com riddle for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com c. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com Riddle oh no.

[B]

JPC. They made it. Canada too.

[C]

Canada 2. The squeak will.

[B]

We gotta go by Aaron.

[C]

Bye.

[A]

Why is that bad?

[C]

So you know our names? That's Adol. I'm jpc. This is Arlen. What is your name?

[D]

My name is Kevin.

[C]

Kevin.

[A]

Kevin.

[B]

Kevin. The Bridgemaster.

[D]

I'm the Bridgemaster. And when I earlier referenced an elevator pitch, I don't know if you're familiar from around these parts to know that that is when you say L and then you go evader. Which means like oh, what the hell. Get get away. So it's something you say to get away from somebody else.

[C]

Oh, an evader. An elevator. We have elevators back for where we're from. The Chicago Police shoot them.

[B]

As long.

[D]

As the trains run on time, which is fine.

[B]

You guys have trains?

[D]

Do you know the band Train?

[B]

I don't know them, but I'm a huge admirer.

[D]

Magical. Let me tell you what other time. There's three gents, they come to the bridge and they sing, and they sing songs that. I gotta be a little bit problematic. Just a little bit. But you know what? They just. They really get you, Kevin.

[A]

I'll be honest, it's nice to see you smile. You started talking about those three guys that come and sing at your bridge and you started leaning against your little stick and kind of looking off wistfully. That was really nice.

[D]

I don't have too many good times. I have mostly tough times. And so it's just when I think about the good ones.

[C]

I hate to hear that. You hate to hear the thing.

[A]

Hey, guys, can I talk to you really quick over here? Just Adeline, jvc. Just one sec.

[C]

Yeah, we do a thing where we kind of split off and like, talk about the person that we're interacting with.

[A]

That's good.

[C]

Not anything about you, Kevin. It could be good about you.

[D]

Okay, well, I really hope so. I'm gonna bang my stick against the bridge.

[C]

That's good. That's great.

[B]

Bang away, Kevin. Bang away.

[A]

Hey, guys, Kevin is obviously really adorable and has a really sad backstory. And I'm. Look at me. Both of you, look at me. We're not going to get attached to Kevin and we're not going to try to fix this whole deal. Okay? It's going to be really tempting. He just said he never has really good times. It's going to be tempting to sort of fix it.

[B]

Yeah, it does feel. I mean, from what I've heard, you're.

[C]

Saying, don't get involved in Kevin's whole thing.

[A]

I'm saying don't get involved in Kevin's whole thing.

[B]

From what I've read about, like, olden days and times, people didn't live past, like, 30, I guess. So I feel like Kevin's probably. He's probably like 20 something. We should probably show him a good time.

[A]

No, see, Otto, this is what I meant about not getting involved in Kevin's whole thing. Like, look. Look at him. He's just looking at nothing. Hitting a stick against his bridge.

[D]

Oh, Pretty sure I'm gonna get to go home soon. It is My birthday after all.

[A]

Oh, no. Oh, God, Aaron. No. See, this is what I mean, though. Guys, guys, we get attached and then we get. We have to stay here longer. And then I smell worse and worse.

[B]

Imagine spending your whole life trying to learn how to master bridges, and the minute you master a bridge, you die on your birthday. Probably.

[C]

Probably. And we don't know, but we do assume.

[A]

All right, guys, well, whatever. But you guys, I'll give you 10 more minutes and then we're out of here, okay?

[C]

Yes. Yes, that's. Hey, Aaron, that's all we ask. If we can't fix whatever Kevin's whole deal is in 10 minutes, we don't deserve to call ourselves Riddle podcasters.

[A]

Great.

[C]

Kevin. Kevin, buddy, it looks like you got tiny legs and a big torso.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

What if we inverted that makeover?

[D]

Oh, well, no, listen, I'm just here to gently stop you from crossing the bridge and you have to answer a riddle. Oh, before you cross the bridge. And don't make this about me. Don't make it about me and my physique.

[B]

We don't really do riddles.

[C]

Yeah, it's not really our whole thing.

[D]

Well, what if I present it to you right now just to see how you feel about it? The riddle is, can you explain to me what went wrong in my marriage? Oh, cuz I can't figure it out. It is. It's a stumper.

[A]

You guys still want to do this? You still want to do this?

[C]

I feel like, you know, Aaron, it would actually go faster if you would be more helpful.

[A]

Okay, I've never been married, asshole, so I don't know how to fix a marriage.

[B]

Wait, didn't you kiss a car and turn into a car?

[A]

Okay, I can't tell you anything anymore. I guess secrets are just open. It's open season on secrets. I guess.

[C]

Kevin, give us the elevator pitch. Give us the broad strokes of what? I mean, what was going on in the marriage?

[D]

Well, dad, you know what? You got your finger on it right now. I didn't know how to touch her. We're talking about broad strokes. I was really, really, really like crabby and Kevin.

[C]

Oh, Kevin.

[B]

Kevin.

[D]

And then sometimes I just gently from across the room by poker with my stick and be I've with the bridge stick. And I'd say, you up for it?

[A]

Oh, Kevin.

[C]

Kevin. One, two, three, four. Hey, Riddle. Riddle's Clue crew listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free 7 day trial at patreon.com heyriddleriddle.

[E]

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[A]

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[E]

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