Hey Riddle Riddle - Patreon Preview #352: The Nativity Pageant
Date: December 5, 2025
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, and John Patrick Coan
Main Theme:
A wildly improvised “first rehearsal” for a church nativity pageant, featuring comically bad casting decisions, local sponsor infiltration, kid and parent rivalries, and ongoing church drama – all performed in classic Hey Riddle Riddle meta style. While satirizing community theater mishaps and church politics, the trio uses this setup as a springboard for characters, riffs, and rapid-fire jokes.
Episode Overview
The gang stages a hilarious and chaotic table read of a church’s annual nativity pageant rehearsal. Characters vie for desired roles, local sponsors angle for speaking parts, an exasperated organizer tries to steer the meeting, and everyone’s personal business or petty grievance threatens to derail the process. Along the way, they riff on community theater tropes, holiday stress, and the fraught mix of earnestness and low-stakes ego at the heart of small town traditions.
Key Discussion Points & Comedic Set Pieces
1. Rehearsal Chaos & Cast Rivalries
- [00:34] The “church director” (Erin) tries to settle the group for the pageant’s first rehearsal.
- Memorable line: “Welcome to the first rehearsal of St. Wenceslas on the Hills annual nativity pageant. Give yourselves a round of applause.” (B - Erin, 00:38)
- Persistent parent “Nancy” (JPC) pleads for her five-year-old daughter Mary to be cast as Mary.
- Nancy: “I named my daughter Mary... assuming she would grow up into the role of playing Mary... She has not been cast yet.” (C - JPC, 02:03)
- Director reminds that the role is for an adult, not a peanut-butter-covered, screaming five-year-old.
2. Sponsor Power Moves – The Subaru Dealer
- Local car dealer “Big Ed” (Adal) angling for the role of Baby Jesus in exchange for sponsorship.
- Big Ed: “Subaru cuts a check for this whole thing. Merry Christmas. So I’ll be playing Baby Jesus.” (A - Adal, 03:26)
- Wry product placement jokes riff on church funding and local sponsorship.
- Director’s exasperation: “Baby Jesus is always played by the baby that... was born closest to when the pageant comes out.” (B - Erin, 04:15)
- Sub-theme: constant attempts to “trade” parts for perks (e.g., Subaru leases) and gentle ribbing about church finances.
- Big Ed: “Well, the bottom line is what I say the bottom line is. And there are prime leases on really good Subarus. These are 2026 Subarus.” (A - Adal, 05:50)
3. Church Politics & Pseudo-Inclusivity
- Internal debates about casting, tradition versus innovation, and grievances from past controversies.
- The director references past years’ “controversial choices” and viral moments.
- Nancy: “We had a Chihuahua play the donkey last year. So I’m not sure why we’re tightening our belt...” (C - JPC, 02:49)
- Director: “It made national news. I’ll give it that.” (B - Erin, 03:01)
4. Random Song Suggestions & Original Content
- “Blair Sheldon” (Adal), local community theater director, wants to write original songs.
- Director: “We’re doing Oh Holy Night. We’re doing Silent Night. ... We’re doing Herod’s song.” (B - Erin, 13:57)
- Blair: “I’m going for like a completely different creative choice for Herod’s song this year.” (A - Adal, 14:23)
- Suggests a “King Tut” style number, causing a minor uproar.
5. Miscellaneous Meta Jokes and In-Jokes
- Extended riffs about mixing up Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, James Corden, and “Jimmy Corden.”
- “I love carpool karaoke.” / “That’s James Corden.” (A - Adal and B - Erin, 12:01)
- Bits about “minutes” vs. “notes” for meetings, leading to a bowling joke:
- Caroline: “Oh my God, Caroline, that might not be helpful.” (A - Adal, 12:33)
- “Three strikes is really good in bowling.” (A - Adal, 13:00)
- “Anybody bowls a perfect game gets a Subaru.” (A - Adal, 13:05)
6. Pop Culture Cameos and Zeitgeist Decisions
- Annual tradition of including a pop culture figure in the nativity.
- Past example: “One year we had Steve Bannon, and that did not go over super well. 2017, we did Steve Bannon.” (B - Erin, 11:35)
- This year: “Glinda and Elphaba” from Wicked will bring gifts to Baby Jesus (13:07).
- Director: “Some of our teen gals would be very excited to play Alphabet and Glinda.” (B - Erin, 13:25)
7. Grudges, Escalades, and Peanut Allergy Plotlines
- Banter about Cadillac Escalades vs. Honda Accolades; confusion over makes/models injected into church drama.
- “Cadillac has Escalade and I think Honda makes the accolades.” (C - JPC, 04:12)
- References to sticky, allergy-prone children (“always covered in peanut butter”).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “For Jesus birthday, I’m buying a Honda.” (A - Adal, 01:05)
- “It made national news. I’ll give it that. It made national news.” (C - JPC, 03:01)
- “Subaru cuts a check for this whole thing. Merry Christmas.” (A - Adal, 03:26)
- “The cast is the cast. No tradesies, no take backs, no changing. It’s set in stone.” (B - Erin, 01:37)
- “We went viral, Nancy, and that helped a lot with the church.” (B - Erin, 03:04)
- “Blair, can I be honest? It feels like you’re constantly just trying to get in the front page of the local paper.” (B - Erin, 14:29)
- “I’m going to do it like King Tut. Has that been done?” / “Steve Martin?” (A - Adal and C - JPC, 14:37)
- “Anybody bowls a perfect game gets a Subaru.” (A - Adal, 13:05)
Timestamps – Segment Guide
- 00:34: Director welcomes the cast, attempts to start rehearsal – immediate chaos.
- 01:57: Nancy’s campaign for her daughter as Mary.
- 03:14: Big Ed/Subaru saga begins.
- 04:29: Rules for Baby Jesus casting explained; further sponsor shenanigans.
- 08:46: On including pop culture figures in the nativity; previous controversies discussed.
- 13:05: Glinda and Elphaba announced for this year's pageant; in-jokes pile up.
- 13:28: Blair Sheldon lobbying for new songs; debate over show tunes.
- 14:43: “Quick five” break called after cursing scandal.
- 15:06: Big Ed tries to work in a Subaru commercial.
Tone & Style
The episode is a gentle roast of small-town holiday traditions, delivered in Hey Riddle Riddle’s signature style: playful, slightly absurd, and peppered with improv tangents. Banter remains mostly clean but dips into mild irreverence and meta comedy, especially about church, theater, and sponsorship.
Summary Takeaway
This episode is less about riddles and more a masterclass in improv comedy masquerading as a dysfunctional church pageant meeting. Listeners are treated to a barrage of inside jokes, pop culture references, local sponsorship jabs, and improvisers at the top of their game, portraying a vividly believable (and deeply silly) cast of small-town characters. Even those unfamiliar with the show or actual pageants will appreciate the affectionate mockery and rapid-fire wit.