Patreon Preview #356: Chatterbox 31

Summary

Hey Riddle Riddle – Patreon Preview #356: Chatterbox 31

Date: January 2, 2026
Hosts: Adal Rifai, Erin Keif, John Patrick Coan (JPC)
Theme: A loose, comedic exploration of improviser banter, swapping personas, playful hypotheticals, handwriting, and offbeat fan questions—barely about riddles, as usual.

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Episode Overview

This Chatterbox installment brings the signature Hey Riddle Riddle mix of banter, improvisation, absurd scenarios, and a peek into the hosts’ distinct personalities. The trio riff on New Year’s resolutions, re-introducing themselves as if meeting for the first time, swap personas, debate life skills such as handwriting, and answer fan questions—all while playfully getting sidetracked. There’s a healthy sprinkling of meta-commentary and recurring inside jokes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. New Year’s “Fresh Start”: Forgetting Friends

• Adal opens with a “resolution” to forget his friends in 2026, inspired by the lyric “let old acquaintance be forgot” (00:05), wanting “to rediscover the two of you for the first time.”
• “I feel like I want to rediscover the two of you, you know, for, like, the first time. So I have three new friends.” —Adal, 00:17
• The group riff on memory loss, referencing Memento, 50 First Dates, and the idea of starting over with blank slates.

2. Swapping Vibes and Personas

• Erin and JPC humorously try to “swap their vibes,” listing clichés about each other’s interests (flannel, buying books impulsively, tiki bars, etc.) (02:35–03:30).
• “Who do I shoot? Which one?” —Adal, joking about swapping identities, 03:29
• Erin describes himself with,

  “Flannel shirts, buying books impulsively, tiki drinks, going to tiki bars in new cities, using my money for experiences. I’m up all night, baby. I like the peace that it brings when people have no expectations from me. My handwriting. Unbelievable. Tall.” (02:43)

3. “If You Had Nice Handwriting...”

• Discord fan Q: What would be the first thing you’d do if you woke up with nice handwriting? (03:52–04:47)
  • Erin: Send “letters and postcards” to loved ones, especially to friend George Elrod, who sends her postcards.
  • JPC: “I’d copy a lot of Declaration of Independence’s,” placing forgeries behind frames at garage sales—riffing on National Treasure tropes.

4. Cursive in Schools – Hot Take

• Adal notes Montessori schools use cursive exclusively, wondering aloud why; group discusses the decline of cursive in public education and wonders about its possible correlation to improved learning (05:09–06:08).
• “There must be some correlation between cursive and like, I don’t know, faster learning...” —JPC, 05:45
• Erin: “A lot of public schools across the country don’t mandate it anymore, so that’s strange. I think they should.” (05:53)

5. Satirical Public School Commentary

• The hosts lampoon the narrative that teachers are “greedy and evil,” mock the state of public schools, and joke about doing “your own research.”
• “One thing that’s hard about the public school system is that teachers are all, like, greedy and evil. Right. They make too much money and they’re, like, really evil people.” —Adal, with heavy sarcasm, 06:14

6. Ridiculous Small Business Tangents

• JPC invents “cat pies,” a food truck where cats supposedly make and serve pies (06:46), and the group creates a fake narrative about small business woes, bookkeeping, and buried podcast cohosts.
• Segueing from fictional business struggles to a playacted endorsement for business banking tools, they maintain absurdity:

  “I have cat pies, which is my food truck, where my cats make pies that I sell.” —JPC, 06:46

7. The Ongoing “Buried Alive” Running Gag

• The crew concocts a scenario where Erin is buried alive by construction businesses, linking it comedically to bookkeeping chaos. They playact “Father New Year” and riff on holiday tropes and magical wardrobe curses (09:32–12:15).

8. On Unusual Handwriting

• Adal confesses he might write letters “bottom to top,” and was told in high school he “does it upside down”—diverting into joking about “having the devil inside him” and being ostracized by teachers (12:43–13:40).

9. “Should Zootopia 2 be Tootopia?”—Fan Q&A

• Toon Wolf’s Discord question: Should Zootopia’s sequel be Tootopia?
  • JPC offers a deadpan, emphatic no: “No. Zootopia. Because Zootopia leaves ‘topia’, which is the suffix. The zoo part is what we’re looking for.” (14:26–14:52)
• The group riffs on Hollywood sequel naming: “Back to the Teacher,” “Front to the Backcher,” and “Zootropia.” (15:33–16:01)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

On the “Rediscover Your Friends” Resolution

“I want to wake up with a sense of terror. Where am I? ...Why am I pregnant? What’s going on?”
—JPC, 00:45

On Swapping Identities

“This sucks. That’s exactly my thing! I wear flannel. I buy books impulsively. I use my money for experiences. I like tiki bars…”
—JPC, 03:19

On Handwriting

“It would be so nice to have nice handwriting for once. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
—Adal, 03:44

On Cursive in Schools

“There must be some correlation between cursive and... faster learning or more comprehensive learning.”
—JPC, 05:45

On the State of Public Schools

“One thing that’s hard about the public school system is that teachers... make too much money and they’re, like, really evil people. We have to kind of stop them in any way we can.”
—Adal (satirical), 06:14

On Zootopia Sequels

“Zootopia. Because Zootopia leaves ‘topia’, which is the suffix. The zoo part is what we’re looking for.”
—JPC, 14:44

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:05 – Adal announces his “forget your friends” New Year’s intention
• 02:35 – Persona and hobby swap game
• 03:52 – Fan Q: If you could change your handwriting…
• 05:09 – Cursive in Montessori and public schools: philosophies & practices
• 06:08 – Jokes about teachers, school funding, and “do your own research”
• 06:46 – “Cat pies” food truck bit and small business woes
• 09:32–12:15 – Father New Year/Santa sketch and magical clothing exchange
• 12:43 – Adal’s upside-down handwriting confession
• 14:26–14:52 – The Zootopia sequel naming debate
• 15:33–16:01 – Goofing on sequel naming conventions for other movies

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Tone & Delivery

The episode is delivered in Hey Riddle Riddle’s signature playful, wry, and improvisational style. Sarcasm, meta-humor, and friendly ribbing dominate, with each host playing off the others’ absurdities and escalating the running jokes. The language is casual and the camaraderie evident throughout.

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For New Listeners

If you’ve never heard Hey Riddle Riddle, this episode encapsulates their irreverent, barely-about-riddles format: rapid-fire improv, inside jokes, left-field questions, and unfiltered riffing. You’re invited to enjoy the dynamic, not just the answers, and the banter is the main attraction.

Transcript

[A]

Adult Aaron.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I think I'm gonna do a thing for 2026 where I am going to forget you guys.

[C]

Hmm.

[B]

Huh?

[D]

Forget.

[C]

It's like a.

[D]

Amnesia way or no.

[A]

Kind of like the song. Cause it's like, you know, let old acquaintance be forgot. You know what I'm saying? So it's like I feel like I want to rediscover the two of you, you know, for, like, the first time. So I have to free new friends.

[B]

And keep the old one as silver and the other gold. You're supposed to hold on to us.

[A]

That's not really what I took from the song.

[D]

I think I see what you're going for. This is more of a 51st date situation.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You want to wake up with a sense of terror of where am I? What's happening? Why am I pregnant? What's going on?

[C]

Here's what I.

[B]

Here's Adam Sandler's there.

[C]

What a terror.

[A]

What a horror movie. Like, what a horrible movie.

[B]

Literally, my worst nightmare.

[A]

I dragged my Aaron file, which is named Beverly Shubidu, in my brain and my adult file into my trash bin. And then I clicked, like, permanently delete. So I got the names from the call. I believe I'm pronouncing it right. Aaron call.

[D]

Oh, yeah, Call.

[B]

Is that Aaron?

[A]

Aaron.

[B]

Oh, this is actually good. This is a clean slate. We can sort of start over.

[D]

Nailed my name. Had trouble with yours. This is looking pretty good.

[A]

So, yeah, I just thought, could you guys give me, like. Like, bullet points? Like, brass tacks? Like, I wrote a little note to myself about, like, you know, that this is important and I need to, like, I need to stay, you know, here the whole time.

[B]

So it's like memento.

[A]

Yes. One of my notes does say, watch memento.

[B]

So you tattooed on yourself, watch Memento.

[A]

It's actually just a list of all the Nolan films because I just love those guys. I just think, like, watching them all.

[D]

He's one guy.

[A]

Jonathan wrote, right? He wrote memento.

[D]

It's one guy, and he has sort of a split. He has sort of Jekyll Hyde syndrome.

[A]

I forgot that Jonathan Nolan was just a puppet that Christopher Nolan was wearing for, like, 10 years at all.

[B]

What are we going to do? Are we going to completely rebrand or are we going to tell the truth?

[D]

What if we swap? What if we. What if we swap? Sort of our thing, our vibes.

[B]

Okay. I love it.

[D]

Yeah, I'll go for Aaron.

[A]

You're like, did Aaron say swap our wives? Adam, don't fall for that.

[B]

There was a Whole TV show about.

[C]

It I have right here.

[A]

Aaron equals no wife. What?

[B]

Since when?

[A]

Now, Aaron, does that mean you don't have a wife or does that mean you're not wife material?

[B]

Can't get you a girl who can do both. So my whole thing is flannel shirts, buying books impulsively, tiki drinks, going to tiki bars in new cities, using my money for experiences. I'm up all night, baby. I like the peace that it brings when people have no expectations from me. My handwriting. Unbelievable tall.

[D]

Hey. Jpc.

[B]

Really nice. Like cut the badger.

[D]

This sucks. That's exactly my thing. I wear flannel. I buy books impulsively. I use my money for experiences. I like taking place.

[B]

You made a plan.

[A]

Who do I shoot? Which one?

[D]

I have a gun as well. Let's both shoot.

[B]

Who do I shoot? Adel, it felt really good to have your stuff for a while. My handwriting was so nice, Howie. I was so good at improv.

[A]

It would be so nice to have nice handwriting for once. Wouldn't that be fun?

[B]

That is maybe. I don't know. There's a lot I would change about myself, but that's gotta be top three.

[A]

Oh, Aaron, there's so much I would change about you. No question. Aaron, what would be the first thing? This is a question from the discord from. It looks like from JPSOfly. What's the first thing that you would do if you woke up with nice handwriting?

[B]

Oh, I would start writing letters and postcards and stuff to my loved ones.

[A]

But who's getting the first one?

[B]

Maybe adol.

[A]

Mm, wow. Kind of cop out answer.

[B]

No, I genuinely, I think also, you know, actually I've adult someone might squeak right in front of you, which is my friend George Elrod, who was a Chicago comedian. He works at a stationery store in Chicago and he's been sending me postcards all year and I am delighted every time I get one. So I would send him one back.

[D]

I think I would copy a lot of Declaration of Independence is you already.

[A]

Have the nice handwriting.

[D]

You don't have to play. You can find me paper and I put it in the back of picture frames and then put those up for sale at a garage sale.

[B]

Hold on.

[D]

With like a little bit peeking out.

[A]

That feels like something adol.

[B]

Actually start doing.

[C]

Adol.

[B]

I do think maybe we could use your handwriting copying over everything that's in cursive because that's about to be lost text.

[A]

You know, I've been visiting a lot of like schools as something that, you know, a parent of a child does. I've been haunting a lot of graveyards with a ribbon tied around my neck. No, but a lot of, like, especially Montessori schools, they teach cursive exclusively. That's how. That's how they get, like, young kids to learn their, like, letters and sound. It's really learning, like, sounds and associating the sounds with letters, but all the letters are cursive. I have not looked into why this is, but I found it across the board of every place that I've, like, looked at.

[D]

There must be some correlation between cursive and, like, I don't know, faster learning or more comprehensive learning.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

A lot of public schools across the country don't mandate it anymore, so that's strange. I think they should.

[C]

There really shouldn't be.

[A]

I feel like most public schools are geared primarily towards education. Right. There's nothing that's happened in the last six years.

[B]

There used to be.

[A]

That has done anything to the public school system.

[C]

Has there?

[B]

We sort of stopped listening to experts.

[A]

One thing that's hard about the public school system is that teachers are all, like, great. Greedy and evil. Right. They make too much money and they're like, really evil people. We have to kind of stop them in any way that we can. So interesting. A lot of different perspectives out there. I think. Maybe do your own research on that.

[B]

We don't know how. We weren't taught.

[C]

Adol. I mean, you know, this. Managing a small business is difficult, right? Mm. I mean, it's just.

[D]

I have cat pies, which is my food truck, where my cats make pies that I sell. And it's a real. It can be a real headache to have a small business.

[C]

Yeah. And I seem to recall that the health inspector refused to issue it a rating because he refused to acknowledge that it was a food restaurant.

[D]

Yeah, we've had some. There's been some red tape with the animals serving the food, but we're working on it. We're working on it. We.

[C]

Well, again, managing a small business can be hard. You gotta juggle multiple disconnected apps to manage your business finances. You have to be, you know, anxious about taxes. You might be behind on your books. You're always chasing receipts and keeping up with client invoices. And sometimes you accidentally hire a construction company to bury one of your hosts into a big pile of sand. Completely unintentional. You meant to do something else, and.

[D]

That could be about any podcast co host.

[C]

And. Yeah, I'm trying not to make this about me.

[A]

It's not Like a cry for, you.

[C]

Know, attention here, but it's just. It's just the reality of owning a small business. But Found has eliminated the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all. Banking, bookkeeping, invoices, and taxes. No more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky, outdated apps. I gotta tell you, this bulldozer company, their app is trash.

[D]

Ugh. Bleh. Well, I know that Found makes it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can get back to doing what you love with, which is solving riddles. And Found helps you find your buried co hosts.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know if it'll exactly do that, but it does identify the tasks that create the most hassle for small businesses. Things like categorizing expenses, preparing for taxes, managing invoices, budgeting. And they built an app that does it all directly from your business checking account so you have time to vet potential bulldozer companies before you even hire them to bury one of your co hosts at a big pile upstairs. One thing that I love about Found is that it automatically tracks expenses, which means that I don't have to carve out time every week for importing expenses, you know, to go through my purchases to make sure everything is accounted for. And again, I got purchase orders from all kinds of construction companies with all kinds of bulldozers. Found makes it easy to see which one buried my friend Aaron alive in the sand.

[D]

Yep. And don't take it from us. Take it from the electromagnetic recording that we took eight feet underground of Aaron saying this. Take back control of your business today. Open a Found account for [e-mail]. that's f o u n d dot com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by lead bank member fdic. Join the hundreds of thousands who have already streamlined their finances with foundation. Thanks, Erin.

[A]

That was her.

[D]

That was definitely her. That's.

[A]

Yeah, she said that.

[D]

Yeah, the electro. Electromagnet. That's how you get voices from underground, is electromagnets.

[A]

Mm.

[C]

Look it up.

[D]

We're not lying. Oh, oh, oh. Jpc.

[C]

Hello.

[D]

It's me. Father New Year.

[C]

Oh, Father New Year. What big white beard you have. And looks like. Looks like maybe was like a white rimmed red hat that has been hastily painted, like a different color.

[D]

Oh, does it? That's weird. I've always worn this.

[A]

Oh, oh, oh.

[D]

Hey, listen, just so you know, Aaron Keefe is off in Bermuda with Joshua Jackson. They got married.

[C]

Oh, that's good. Good for him. Good for him bouncing back. I know he's kind of had a tumultuous time.

[D]

Uh huh.

[A]

Not to say anything of what Aaron's had.

[C]

Hey, hey. Oh, I'm sorry, not Santa. Father New Year.

[D]

Father New Year.

[C]

Lean in here, look.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

You're obviously Santa with painted clothes, but if you want to get new clothes, why don't you just shop at Quint's?

[D]

Oh, JPC brings down my big blue New Year's bag of gifts. I love Quint's. I give it to all the boys and girls. You know, as a fashionista, my outerwear needs to be especially impressive. So I buy down jackets, wool coats, Italian leather outerwear to keep me warm when it's actually cold. You know, that's the kind of stuff I buy for myself and gift to people around the world.

[C]

Yeah, see, I mean, I love quints because each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. Plus, by cutting out middlemen in traditional markups, quints delivers the same quality as luxury brands at a fraction of the price. But Santa, it seems like you're giving all this quints away, but no one's, no one's kind of giving quints to you. And maybe this get up that you're wearing, that's you like asking for someone to maybe. You know what, Santa, I mean, not Santa, whatever your name is, it doesn't matter. Here's what I'm going to do for you. I'm going to take off this cashmere sweater that I got at Quint's. I absolutely love this thing. It's so warm. It is so comfortable. And Santa or whatever, I'm going to give this to you as a New Year's gift.

[D]

Oh. Now the curse is lifted. And now you, you are Father New Year, AKA Santa. Thank you. Ooh, this is comfortable as heck. Thank you.

[C]

Oh, good. Honestly, I wanted this. I thought I was going to have to Tim Allen you. Oh.

[D]

And oh, my normal voice is coming back. Oh man. Hey, my name's Roger. I'm from Oklahoma. In 1972, I fell down a chimney. I don't want to. Quince is amazing. Thank you, Quince, for turning me back into my normal self.

[C]

Wait, is my voice going to change?

[A]

Oh man.

[C]

I'm getting Tim Allen. Anyway, refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quint.com riddle for free shipping on your order. And 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's quince. Q-U-I-N C E.com riddle free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com riddle oh, and I lied.

[D]

Aaron is buried alive.

[A]

I learned this like, I guess like later in life. I don't think it was ever like brought up to me when I was doing it.

[C]

But.

[A]

But most people write their letters. Oh fuck. Now I can't even conceptualize it. Is it bottom to top or top to bottom? Whatever it is, however people write, I.

[C]

Do it the opposite way for whatever reason.

[A]

And I don't know why. I learned it from you.

[B]

Bottom to top then, right.

[A]

I must do bottom to top. Well, with cursive. I feel like you do bottom to top. I don't remember.

[B]

Anyway, depending on the letter, right?

[A]

Someone told me I'd do it upside down once when I was in like high school. And I was like, well, it's far too late for me to change the way. I know how to make the letter A right. Like I'm only going to be doing writing with my hand for like four years.

[B]

A lot in your life that you had the devil inside you. I have a lot of like teachers, mentors, neighbors.

[A]

Okay, now Aaron, this explains a lot of the water that I've has been thrown at me. Because that shit burns and it's not hot water.

[D]

All right, class, get up. We're going to the woods. Jpc. Stay seated. You will be visited shortly.

[C]

Hold on. Can I go to the woods?

[A]

I got this ribbon. Tighter.

[D]

Run kids.

[A]

Run.

[D]

Run.

[B]

Everyone. Go. Go, go, go. We have to find a whole new school.

[D]

Falls off, chases them.

[A]

We have some questions. This is of course the chatterbox episode. Aaron.

[C]

It was of course cold. What?

[A]

You just kind of like wrapped your sweatshirt around you in a way that made me think that maybe you were a little.

[B]

This is a skating pad.

[A]

This is a heating pad. This is not okay. It looked like the fur lining of a chair.

[B]

I slept like this last night. Like kind of fully up with a pillow. Kind of like here. Like I was on an airplane. I don't know what happened.

[A]

Oh no, that's terrible. Aaron. Um, this is a question from Toon Wolf. Toon Wolf had asked this question and Adelaide, I feel like this isn't specifically targeted to you. But we all, I think can context say that it's targeted to you. So should Zootopia 2 have been named Tootopia?

[D]

No. No.

[B]

Whoa. At all.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Zootopia.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[D]

Because. Zootopia.

[B]

Okay, I start packing up my bag. All right, leaving.

[D]

Because Zootopia leaves topia, which is the suffix.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That gives us Nothing. The zoo part is what we're looking for. The zoo part.

[B]

Zootopia.

[D]

Yes, thank you.

[A]

Zootopia.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Then what's the third one?

[D]

Zootopia. Three.

[A]

Yeah. Threetupia. It's got to be Leave the zoo.

[D]

I think it's Zootropia. And it's. Let's see.

[B]

It's a lot of Casey's typing. Here we go. Another cook in the kitchen. Oh wait.

[A]

Who wants to take a shot at that?

[D]

Zeotro.

[A]

Well it says Zeo.

[C]

Let's go.

[B]

I think he meant Zoo.

[D]

Let's confuse.

[B]

Zutria.

[A]

Zutrotria. He threw an accidental zero in there. Which makes it really confusing.

[B]

Zootrotria. Okay, then what's for Casey?

[C]

Well, hold on now.

[A]

I want to do a little game with Adolf to see. Because obviously Zootopia is the correct answer. So let's give you. I'm going to give you some other Hollywood sequels. And you can tell me how they fucked up and what they should have been called. So Back to the future too. What do we call that?

[D]

Back to the Teacher.

[B]

What about Front to the Backcher Was what I was going to call.

[D]

Well that'll get you infected. What about get you a nice deep infection?

[A]

1, 2, 3, 4.

[C]

Hate riddle riddles.

[A]

Clue Crew. Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven day trial at patreon.

[C]

Com.

[A]

Hey, Riddle Riddle.