Hidden Brain Podcast Summary
Episode: Emotions 2.0: The Benefits of Mixed Emotions
Host: Shankar Vedantam
Guest: Naomi Rothman, Psychologist at Lehigh University
Release Date: November 4, 2024

Introduction to Naomi Rothman and Ambivalence

In this episode of Hidden Brain, host Shankar Vedantam invites Naomi Rothman, a psychologist from Lehigh University, to delve into the complex world of mixed emotions and ambivalence. Naomi shares her personal experiences and groundbreaking research on how feeling torn between opposing emotions can influence our decision-making, relationships, and leadership abilities.

Notable Quote:
Naomi Rothman reflects on her high school experience, saying, “Every game we played against one another was high stakes...I had this deep, genuine affection for the people that I was trying to beat.” (00:53)

Personal Stories Illustrating Ambivalence

High School Soccer Rivalry

Naomi recounts her transformation from a shy teenager to a confident athlete through soccer. Playing for the Red Hot Chili Peppers team from Santa Cruz High, she built strong friendships and significantly boosted her self-esteem. However, this camaraderie was tested during intense rival games against Harbor High, her peers and friends becoming her opponents. This early experience of emotional conflict laid the foundation for her later research on ambivalence.

Notable Quote:
“We had to play against each other and someone always had to lose...I loved these players. I had this deep, genuine affection for the people that I was trying to beat.” (00:47)

The Magic Mixie Cauldron

Naomi shares a recent personal example involving her daughter's desire for a popular toy, the Magic Mixie Cauldron. Torn between wanting to provide her daughter with happiness and concerns about the toy's practicality, Naomi experienced ambivalence. This internal conflict mirrors the emotional tensions she studies professionally.

Notable Quote:
“I was completely ambivalent...It's going to cost me either time...or it's going to cost me in terms of my daughter's happiness.” (05:30)

Real Estate Adventure in Bucks County

Another poignant story involves Naomi and her husband's decision to purchase a remodeled farmhouse in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. Despite recognizing potential downsides, they proceeded, leading to significant challenges such as a long commute and unanticipated maintenance issues. This decision, driven by a desire for stability, ultimately resulted in selling the house at a loss.

Notable Quote:
“We knew nobody out there. And neither of us had actually owned a home right, let alone lived in the country.” (18:16)

Research Findings on Ambivalence

Perceptions of Ambivalent Individuals

Naomi's research reveals that people who express ambivalence are often perceived negatively. They are seen as less dominant, less confident, and less assertive compared to those who display clear-cut emotions.

Notable Quote:
“People tend to have negative perceptions of those who are ambivalent...they are more likely to see that ambivalent person as less dominant, less confident, and less assertive.” (09:03)

Impact on Professional Settings

In professional environments, such as negotiations and corporate leadership, expressing ambivalence can lead to increased skepticism and harsher scrutiny. For instance, CEOs showing mixed emotions during earnings calls receive more skepticism from analysts, a phenomenon termed the "scrutiny penalty."

Notable Quote:
“Leaders who show their ambivalence...receive more skepticism from the analysts and from the marketplace.” (11:25)

Effects in Political Leadership

Ambivalence in political leaders can be detrimental during campaigns, where decisiveness is prized. However, once in office, expressing ambivalence within cooperative settings can enhance leadership effectiveness by fostering democratic and inclusive decision-making.

Notable Quote:
“… expressing ambivalence in the course of a campaign is in fact dangerous and counterproductive...but once you are elected, expressing ambivalence...might actually be effective.” (32:55)

The Benefits of Ambivalence

Enhanced Cognitive Flexibility

Contrary to its negative perception, ambivalence can lead to greater cognitive flexibility. Naomi's studies indicate that experiencing mixed emotions makes individuals more open to peer advice and more accurate in their judgments.

Notable Quote:
“Priming people to have mixed feelings...can make us more accurate in our predictions and in our estimates about the world and our judgments.” (21:52)

Improved Leadership and Team Performance

Leaders who embrace ambivalence are more likely to seek diverse information from their teams, fostering a democratic leadership style. This approach encourages team collaboration and enhances overall performance.

Notable Quote:
“Leaders who are ambivalent, in fact, seek more information from their team members...the team performs better compared to when leaders experience less ambivalence.” (30:37)

Deriving Meaning from Life

Research by Raoul Berrios and others suggests that mixed emotions contribute to eudaimonic well-being, enabling individuals to derive greater meaning from life by embracing its inherent complexities.

Notable Quote:
“When you have mixed emotions...you are more likely to experience eudaimonic well-being, which is a form of well-being that is rooted in meaning making.” (33:40)

Applications of Ambivalence in Personal Life

Managing Uncertainty and Protecting Against Disappointment

Naomi discusses how cultivating ambivalence can serve as a self-protective strategy during uncertain times, such as job applications or personal relationships. By acknowledging mixed emotions, individuals can better navigate potential setbacks without overwhelming disappointment.

Notable Quote:
“They create mixed emotions or mixed attitudes as a self-protective strategy to buffer their feelings from failure.” (44:25)

Embracing Ambivalence for Personal Growth

In her personal life, Naomi applied her research on ambivalence during her mother's battle with lung cancer. Instead of suppressing negative emotions, she chose to acknowledge and express her anxiety, which fostered a deeper, more authentic connection with her mother.

Notable Quote:
“When people acknowledge their mixed feelings in an honest and real, authentic way, that it's comforting to others...that it's completely normal and natural.” (50:12)

Inspiration and the Paradox Mindset

Naomi credits her father's influence for her appreciation of ambivalence. Her father's ability to embrace complexity and encourage open-ended conversations inspired her research focus. She introduces the concept of the "paradox mindset," where individuals adopt a "both-and" approach rather than "either-or," enabling them to handle competing demands more effectively.

Notable Quote:
“She...was really curious, she was so ambivalent, she was so open-ended...He helped people work through difficult problems.” (37:07)

Paradox Mindset Explained:
A paradox mindset involves accepting and living with the tensions that arise from competing demands, recognizing that addressing one does not necessitate neglecting another.

Notable Quote:
“With a paradox mindset, people accept and they learn to live with the tensions that are associated with their competing demands.” (41:57)

Conclusion: The Dual Nature of Ambivalence

Hidden Brain concludes by acknowledging the dual nature of ambivalence. While it can lead to discomfort and negative perceptions, it also offers significant cognitive and relational benefits. Naomi Rothman emphasizes the importance of strategic expression of ambivalence, fostering cooperative environments to harness its full potential.

Notable Quote:
“Ambivalence can help us see the world more clearly and act more creatively, but it can also make us feel uncomfortable and seem weak.” (37:07)

Key Takeaways

• Ambivalence is Complex: Mixed emotions reflect the inherent complexities of human experiences and decision-making.
• Perception Matters: How ambivalence is expressed can significantly influence how others perceive and respond to an individual.
• Strategic Expression: In cooperative and inclusive settings, ambivalence can enhance leadership effectiveness and team performance.
• Personal Growth: Embracing and managing ambivalence can lead to more authentic relationships and personal well-being.
• Paradox Mindset: Adopting a both-and approach facilitates better handling of competing demands and fosters cognitive flexibility.

Support and Further Listening

For more insights into the intricate workings of the human mind, consider subscribing to Hidden Brain Plus or exploring more episodes on Hidden Brain.

This summary encapsulates the key discussions, insights, and conclusions presented in the "Emotions 2.0: The Benefits of Mixed Emotions" episode of Hidden Brain. By highlighting Naomi Rothman's personal narratives and research findings, the summary offers a comprehensive overview for those who have not listened to the episode.