Hidden Brain Episode Summary: “Wellness 2.0: Be Yourself”

Release Date: December 30, 2024
Host: Shankar Vedantam
Guest: Erika Bailey, Social Scientist at the University of California, Berkeley
Series: Wellness 2.0

Introduction: The Quest for Authenticity

In the kickoff episode of the “Wellness 2.0” series, Shankar Vedantam delves into the concept of authenticity—exploring what it truly means to "be yourself" in a world rife with social expectations and personal uncertainties. Drawing inspiration from aphorisms like “Dance like no one is watching” and Sting’s reflection on the multiplicity within ourselves, Vedantam sets the stage for a deep dive into the psychological underpinnings of living authentically.

Shankar Vedantam [00:00]: “We can pretend and disguise who we are, or we can be true to ourselves. What does it mean to be ourselves no matter what they say?”

Erika Bailey’s Journey to Authenticity

Erika Bailey shares her personal journey of growing up within a fundamentalist church in central Ohio. What began as a peripheral involvement became the central aspect of her identity by her late teens, leading her to live full-time within the group and evangelize its doctrines.

Erika Bailey [06:42]: “By the time I was 19, 20, I was kind of all in. It was a place we would spend hours and hours every week with people from the community in the church itself.”

Bailey recounts the strict control the church exerted over personal relationships and the discouragement of outside connections. This environment fostered a deep sense of isolation and conformity, causing her to suppress her true beliefs to gain approval and acceptance within the group.

Crisis of Conscience: Challenging the Group’s Beliefs

Bailey’s turning point came with a family tragedy—the death of her niece—which shattered her previously unshakeable faith in the church's teachings about life and purpose. This event ignited a cascade of doubts and a need to voice her disagreements, leading to her eventual excommunication.

Erika Bailey [12:27]: “I had to start saying, actually, I don't think I agree with what they just told... Maybe it's okay to have friends who are not part of the group.”

The process of stepping out was tumultuous, resulting in lost relationships and a profound sense of destabilization. Bailey illustrates the psychological toll of inauthenticity and the pain of severing ties with those who were once considered family.

Shankar Vedantam [16:33]: “Wow. Wow. That must have been extraordinarily destabilizing, Erika.”

The Psychology of Authenticity and Inauthenticity

Bailey explains the concept of inauthenticity as a psychological state where there is a mismatch between one's internal self and external expressions. This dissonance can lead to stress, anxiety, and exhaustion.

Erika Bailey [20:32]: “Inauthenticity... can produce feelings of stress and exhaustion.”

She introduces the idea of emotional labor—managing one's emotions to meet external expectations, often at the expense of one's true self. Examples include customer service roles requiring perpetual smiles despite internal turmoil.

Erika Bailey [22:07]: “Emotional labor is... the act of managing your impressions or the way you're coming across in these professional environments.”

Authenticity in the Workplace

The discussion shifts to authenticity in professional settings. Bailey highlights how segmented identities between personal and professional lives can lead to unethical behavior, as individuals feel detached from their true selves.

Erika Bailey [28:27]: “When your work self is very different and segmented from your home self, is that... you can pick and choose… immoral behavior.”

Bailey uses the example of Ellen DeGeneres to illustrate how public personas can mask genuine behaviors, leading to discrepancies between how individuals are perceived and their actual internal states.

Authenticity on Social Media

Social media presents a modern battlefield for authenticity. Bailey's study of over 10,000 Facebook users revealed that those who maintain consistency between their self-perception and online persona experience higher well-being.

Erika Bailey [32:29]: “...the distance between the way you see yourself and the way you were expressing yourself on social media was correlated with subjective well-being.”

She emphasizes that presenting an idealized self not only affects how others perceive us but also negatively impacts our own mental health when there is a significant discrepancy between our online and offline identities.

Benefits of Being Authentic

Authenticity is closely linked to enhanced subjective well-being, including life satisfaction, happiness, and meaningful relationships. In professional contexts, being authentic allows individuals to focus better on tasks without the burden of emotional labor.

Erika Bailey [31:07]: “Authenticity is linked to greater subjective well-being... better satisfaction with your relationships.”

Pathways to Authenticity: Practical Steps

Bailey suggests practical approaches to fostering authenticity:

1. Reflect on Authentic Moments: Identify and recall moments when you felt genuinely yourself to understand your core values and desires.

   Erika Bailey [36:49]: “One moment that... was a time in high school… I was so happy… felt like this is where I belong in this moment.”

2. Self-Compassion: Embrace self-compassion to handle flaws and mistakes with kindness, reducing the psychological cost of inauthenticity.

   Erika Bailey [45:54]: “Self-compassion... having kindness towards yourself... being imperfect and making mistakes.”

3. External Engagement: Engage with others to gain clarity on your internal state, as conversations can provide new perspectives and reinforce authentic self-perception.

   Erika Bailey [51:42]: “Conversations... give you the space to explore those feelings... helps you see your own anxiety in a different way.”

4. Articulate Core Values: Regularly remind yourself of your core values to align your actions with your true self, enhancing perceived authenticity.

   Erika Bailey [44:50]: “Identify your values... helps others make sense of what they're seeing.”

Conclusion: Embracing Authenticity for Well-Being

Shankar Vedantam wraps up the episode by reinforcing the importance of authenticity in achieving personal and professional well-being. He highlights how aligning one’s inner self with external actions not only fosters mental health but also builds meaningful connections.

Shankar Vedantam [50:03]: “Recognizing the source of [anxiety] has helped me approach that side of myself with more kindness and acceptance.”

As part of the “Wellness 2.0” series, this episode encourages listeners to pursue authenticity through self-compassion, reflection, and alignment of values, offering a roadmap to a more fulfilling and genuine life.

Notable Quotes:

• Shankar Vedantam [00:00]: “We can pretend and disguise who we are, or we can be true to ourselves.”

• Erika Bailey [06:42]: “By the time I was 19, 20, I was kind of all in.”

• Erika Bailey [20:32]: “Inauthenticity... can produce feelings of stress and exhaustion.”

• Erika Bailey [32:29]: “...the distance between the way you see yourself and the way you were expressing yourself on social media was correlated with subjective well-being.”

• Erika Bailey [45:54]: “Self-compassion... having kindness towards yourself... being imperfect and making mistakes.”

• Shankar Vedantam [50:03]: “Recognizing the source of [anxiety] has helped me approach that side of myself with more kindness and acceptance.”

This comprehensive exploration of authenticity underscores its critical role in personal wellness and societal interactions. By understanding the psychological mechanisms that underlie authentic living, listeners are empowered to cultivate a more genuine and satisfying existence.