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A
Sa. Wow. Hi, guys.
B
What's up, everybody? Okay, guys, I don't want to start the podcast on a down note. I don't want to, but. But you guys have been seeing in the news it's still open season on black men in America. We're not doing this, and it's sad. So before we get the podcast started, I just want us all to bow our heads and have a moment of silence for Diddy and Tory Lanez.
A
Okay? Please feel free to boo at this moment. Thank you. Thank you. Wait, wait. I didn't tell you this, though. Wait, wait. I didn't tell you on the way over here. So we're so excited to be here, guys. Thank you so much for being here. This is so exciting. I brought my grill out. Just another day at work. This is so excited. But on the way over here, and with my girl Kimmy. Shout out to Kimmy. We're walking out the elevator, and who do I run into right at the entrance? Just take a guess.
B
Diddy. Shannon Sharp.
A
I would have ran for the hill.
B
If it was Shannon Sharp.
A
Diddy's entire family.
B
Oh, wow.
A
They're staying at the hotel. Don't follow me. On the way back home, kids, mom, bodyguard, everybody.
B
What'd you say?
A
Wasn't there.
B
What'd you say to them?
A
I didn't say anything. I got nervous. They didn't look happy. They looked. They looked. They were very solemn. I mean, obviously, can you imagine? We saw the headlines of what came out today. Like, I can't even imagine being a child and seeing that.
B
So this is the thing. If you see them, I feel like you gotta take the moment to make some type of impact.
A
What? Okay, let's roll. Let's play this out right? You come off the elevator, you're on your way here to see you wonderful, beautiful people, and you see Diddy's entire family. What do you do?
B
Okay, so you got two choices.
A
Cause I'm gonna tell you what we did.
B
One is you played. I play Uncle Roll. Uncle Roll, right? I become Uncle Van. Cause I've been. Something happened on the basketball court where I shot the ball and it went in. And this little nigga went cashado school. I was like, what? So I've been getting into my UNC hood. If I'm. If I'm un, Then I go, hey, you youngsters, keep y' all heads up. Okay? It's raining today, but it will be sunny tomorrow. But if I'm being the old fan, I look at them, I go, y' all niggas fucked I hope he put that money in the trust or all y' all gonna be on Only fans.
A
We didn't do either one of those things. Didn't do that. What'd y' all do with them? I made eye contact, and then I got nervous, and I got so nervous, I just went to the bar and took a shot.
B
See, that's the thing. You let them make you an eye contact. They got the problem.
A
I felt bad for them. I looked the daughters in the face. I felt bad. It's just so sad. Now we can have the moment of silence.
B
They could have told somebody. Look.
A
Jesus Bread. Welcome to higher learning, guys.
B
So look, so here's the deal. People accused me. Cause, you know, I knew Puff and whatever. People accused me, but I really didn't know anything. The only thing I knew is that it was weird. Like, I went to Puff's house one time. Okay?
A
So that's what I was gonna say. When you say you knew Puff, you need to tell them how. No, judge him. Judge him. When you say you knew Puff, how did you know Puff?
B
So this is what happened. The whole Kanye thing happened, right? And I get a call. No caller id. I pick up the call, yo, what's up? What's up with you, nigga? What the fuck is this? Yo, it's Puff. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm on. I'm about to be a Ciroc boy. I'm getting off the plane in Vegas. And so he's like, yeah, I want to offer you a job and all of that stuff. And I'm like, cool. Okay. So then he invites me out to the house. So the house on Mapleton. The ground zero. And so I go, right, Tell everyone I like, yo, man, I'm going to Puff House. You know what I'm saying? Whatever, whatever. So I go out there and I get there, and this was when I knew that, like, something was up. There was something. You haven't heard this party. You haven't heard this? So something was up. So I see this guy that I know. Cause you get there. Puff didn't have the Floyd Mayweather 6 foot 7, 350 pound bodyguards. Nah, this nigga had Russian contract killers. So, like, you. You like, you get to the front door and it's like a Sergey will invite you into the house or something like that. You're here to meet Mr. Combs. Okay, you stand right there. Okay. Don't fucking move. And so I get there to the front. I get let in. And then I'm nervous. I'm Actually nervous. I've driven over from tmz. I'm not really supposed to be doing this. Soliciting other jobs while I'm still under contract with Satan and all of that stuff.
A
Well, you didn't say that part. So he was interested.
B
He was trying to get me to come run content at Revolt. Okay, Right. And so I go over to this crib, and I see a guy that I know who. So this is a guy that was on the Real World for a long time. His name is Adam, and his dad was in the Commodores. And so. So y' all know that guy? Like, his dad was in the Commodores. And I see him.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
And I used to see. I used to see Adam around to town, and me and Adam would pal around and drink and stuff like that. I'm like, oh, shit. Oh, my God. It's so good to see somebody. I know Adam's doing, like, the whole thing is cooling or whatever. We're. We're chilling. And I'm like, yeah, it's great going in. He's like, it'll be cool. He's a great guy. You'll love him. Cool. We're just talking regularly. So I go down there and I sit down, and I'm talking to Puff. Puff actually gives me a quiz on black people.
A
What do you mean?
B
So Puff is vetting me for the job, okay? So I'm sitting down there. I'm across from him, and he goes, yeah, you did your thing with Kanye. That was powerful, black man. But there's some people that might think you've been in the bubble over there. Maybe you're not keeping up with the culture. I'm like, it's my job to keep up with the culture. I'm the only nigga they got. And he goes, yeah, that might be true, but, yo, who signed NASA? I'm like, what? He's like, who signed Nas? I was like, mc, sir. She's like, yeah, black man. Yeah. King.
A
Wait, did this really happen?
B
I swear on that.
A
Okay?
B
And he goes, name three artists that's on qc. I'm like, nigga, you dead ass right now. And I'm like, yeah. I'm like, migos, Lil Baby, the City girl. He's like, oh, okay. You really tapped in. So I'm cool. That's cool. I'm like, this nigga is quizzing me. What the fuck is going on? Adam walks over, and the Adam that I met at the front door is gone. That nigga's gone. He comes over. He's like, hello, Chairman. Is there anything I can bring you? I'm like. He's like, puff doesn't ask for nose to rock. He goes, yeah, I'll take a chamomile tea. Okay. Light. Light, honey. And I mean light. It better not be too sweet. He goes, thank you very much, Chairman. I'll get on that right away. Mr. Lathan, is there something I don't want nothing. And I started to look around, and when I started to look around the house, I saw a lot of people, like, smiling and bowing to Puff. And it was. Y' all think I'm bullshitting, But I was like. I called Charlamagne. I. I was like, yo, this nigga Puff got these motherfuckers on lock. And the next time I met with him, I was like, I don't want to meet at your house.
A
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait. You went back?
B
That wasn't my last. You're one of them, huh?
A
You're one of them. You're part of it.
B
Oh, I went to a party at. Look, I could tell you the story.
A
Oh, I went to a party at the house. That's right. Judge away. Harlem Shake guy. Get up. Show up your Harlem Shake.
B
All I'm saying is I didn't see anything. I would have told somebody. Oh, hold on. Before we get going, first of all, I gotta show y' all the hair transplant real quick. There you go.
A
Can we get a spotlight?
B
Spotlight on the hair transplant? So, look, I don't know if you guys have been listening to the podcast lately, but I've become the world's foremost expert on many things. Rachel, it's your chance to be supportive of a black man publicly.
A
I always support you.
B
You do?
A
I do. As your co host. Go ahead and tell them you have a new title.
B
Yeah. I am the world's foremost expert on hailing cabs. So I love my New Yorkers, but I noticed something that you guys are doing wrong when you held the cab. Okay? You guys are very aggressive, right? You're aggressive. You heard? You gotta be when you're hailing the cab. So I see the New Yorkers hailing the cab, and it's like, hey, I'm walking here.
A
Stop.
B
You know, fuck outta here. Capis?
A
And, like, nobody talks. Like, do y' all talk like that? Do y' all say, capiz, stop watching movies? That's the second time that's happened today, though, by the way. But go ahead.
B
Zero support. I'm telling you, this is what Paul Pierce was talking about. So. So I decided that I would come up with a Way to hail the cab. That was cabbie friendly. That put the cabbie first. Cause I think about these guys, you know, they're driving around Manhattan, they got ice asylum claims that they're worried about and different types of things that are going on. So I'm going to hail the cab with some flair and in a way that entertains them. So I came up with a technique called the Step through Follow through.
A
By all means, please show us. All right, so look, and I, as New Yorkers, I want you to judge these skills and if this would work or not. Go ahead.
B
No, Rachel can't do it.
A
I don't want to.
B
Rachel's the north talus, North Dallas princess. Okay, this is what you do. So the cab is coming down there. It's got the light on, right? You see the cab, and this is what you do.
A
Got it, Man. You literally look like a temptation.
B
Just one more time. So this leg moves first and you pivot. You step two, and you follow through. I'll do it one more time for you guys.
A
Whoever did the count, thank you. Thank you. Now, would that work?
B
So let me tell y' all something.
A
Let's move on.
B
Because we could move on and start the podcast, but y' all don't have to be with her the whole time.
A
Van, it's so obvious. You literally. Can I get the. Can I get the count again?
B
I'm not doing it anymore.
A
And one I don't want. You're literally on On Beat. Your Beyonce on beat with that.
B
No, I don't want to show it anymore.
A
And they don't want to see it. Let's go.
B
This episode is brought to you by Universal Pictures. Would you sell your soul for greatness? What would you be willing to sacrifice? Find out on September 19th in the new Jordan Peele produced horror film Him Only in Theaters, starring Marlon Wayans as the greatest football player of all time and Tariq Withers as his up and coming protege. Directed by Justin Tipping and produced by Monkeypaw Productions, Never Meet yout Idols, him hits theaters September 19th. This episode is brought to you by Hyundai, who says you can't be the topic of conversation for all the right reasons. The Hyundai Tucson hybrid pairs bold presence with advanced technology and sleek style. It's everything you didn't know you needed in an SUV and then some. Okay, Hyundai. Visit HyundaiUSA.com to learn more.
A
Let's get into the big deal of the day.
B
Big deal of the day. Oh, we forgot one point.
A
What?
B
Yo, yo, yo. Thought warriors. What is up? Hi. Lauren is on As I Van Lazen.
A
Jr. And it's me, Rachel and Lindsay.
B
I was getting to the big deal. Let's talk about these goddamn Democrats. Donnie, give us the sound.
A
Donnie is here.
B
Yes, Donnie's here.
A
Donnie is here.
B
Donnie's here. Donnie, talk to the people. Is Donnie miked? They don't give a fuck about you.
A
Sweet booty.
B
Sweet booty. Beach him.
A
Now. Donnie's never gonna come out. He can't come out. The sweet booty.
B
All right, so there's a. There's a. I'll cue him in. So there's a talk amongst the Democrats, the party that we have to have our faith in, about whether or not the old guard of the Democrats are doing a sufficient enough job or whether or not they need to be jettisoned for a new group to come in. And this kind of reached a boiling point when David Hogg, who you guys might know from his activism following the Parkland shootings, who is now, I guess the co chair or the vice chair.
A
He's the vice chair of the dnc.
B
The vice chair of the DNC seemed to directly call out Jim Clyburn of South Carolina, who is 84 and a very tenured and receipt respected congressman. He called him out, and this is what he said on Bill Maher's Real Time with Bill Maher show. Check it out.
C
There've been a few members that have come out that have said, well, you know, if I retire, my life is effectively over. And what I would say is, get over yourself. This isn't about you. This is about our country, and it's about your constituents. Nobody is in. I don't care if you've been there for decades or just one term. That seat is not yours. It is your constituents. That is who you're there to serve. And if they choose to serve somebody else, so be it. That's all we're trying to do with leaders we deserve is give people the option to vote for somebody that isn't necessarily the same person.
B
Okay, so Bakari Sellers, who we are, friend of the podcast, you lied to us. Bakari. Bakari Sellers, friend of the podcast, responded to this on Twitter. And the gist of it was that David Hogg, I have the tweet. Read it.
D
I have a tweet.
A
So Bakari Sellers gets on X and says, I like avidhogg, don't know David, but the audacity to tell and he ats Clyburn to get over himself is wild.
B
Right? So I reached out to Bakari about this and I talked to him about it. And the gist of what I'm really interested to see what you guys think about this. The gist of Bakari's retort was that sure, there needs to be some type of movement at the top of the Democratic Party. However, he is uncomfortable with David Hogg speaking to and about Rep. Clyburn like that because he is a black elder. How y' all feel about that?
A
You think it's disrespect? Wait, show of hands. If you think it's disrespectful what David Hogg had to say.
B
Sister said, it depends. I want to hear what you got to say.
A
I mean, what does mean? Like you should have called out other people.
B
I didn't hear the name.
A
That is my soror, Aaron Campbell.
B
Nobody cares about that devil worshiping shit.
A
All right, I'm sick of this. But wait, can I just, can I just say this just for context purposes? Why do we say he was specifically calling out him and not just every elder member who has held a seat for too long in the Democratic Party?
B
I think that the specificity of what Hawke said being that if we retire our lives of over or our lives are over or whatever, I think that is directly something that relates to something that Rep. Clyburn says said. Okay, so he's. For most people that understand it the full holistically what they're talking about there, they assume that he's talking about him. So this the deal and this is my whole thing.
A
So most people agree with David just by the way you agree with what David Hogg had to say.
B
All right, so look, this is what I would say. So the way he said it, I heard someone say that you don't like the way that he said it. All right, so this is my thing. I'm from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Let me tell you what the stakes are in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, what the stakes are in Alabama, what the stakes are in other places. The stakes aren't tax codes. They're not even things that are more amorphous, like, you know, changes to voting rights and rolling things back. The stakes are the justice and health of your body. So we were moving to use the Biden administration's environmental justice initiative to change the standard of the drinking water gardier. Where I'm from, there's a shit plant, we wake up and we'd smell the shit and that kind of stuff gets into the water. I've talked before about a friend of mine named Eddie Murphy. That was his name. He died of his parents just was like, fuck it we gonna fucking confuse this little nigga. He died of throat cancer. That's not so funny now. You feel bad when he was 15 years old. Cancer is very prevalent where I'm from. And we need someone and something to care about the environmental standards that black people live under in these places. So when the Democrats fucking lose, what happens is the Republicans come in for whatever reason. They outwardly go, we don't care if y' all drink. Shit happened in Alabama, happened in Louisiana, all over the place. So when I'm hard on the Democrats, it's because I don't look at the battle between political parties as something that makes either party beyond reproach or criticism. I look at it as something that directly affects people's lives. So their incompetence means that the people where I'm from die slow, painful, agonizing deaths because we need someone that have the political will and the political incentive to change things. So when these niggas lose, we die. If that means that Clyburn gotta fucking get out of the. The Congress, then I don't fucking care. Yeah, there's, like, there's. There. There's no one. And respect to him and respect to Ms. Maxine. I wouldn't even call her Rep. Maxine. That's my elder, Ms. Maxine. Respect to all of them that have done so much. But I gotta be honest, I care more about those people. Yeah, My people that are down there, than I do about the careers of people that been there since Gone with the Wind was in theaters.
A
But that's. But that's the problem in all respect to Bakari Sellers. We said he's a friend of the podcast. But that type of gatekeeping is exactly the problem with the Democrats that we keep talking about on this podcast. We keep saying, like, we need change. We need something that's fresh, we need something that's new. And. And when I listen to David Hogg, what he said here and what he said in the rest of that interview with Bill Maher, just even outside of it, that's exactly what he's trying to do as the Vice chair. I was like, what. What is the role of the Vice Chair of the dnc? I'm not even. I don't. I'm not sure I even know what the DNC really does outside of title. And part of what he's supposed to do is look at policy and strategy and analyze that and how we can change it. And that's exactly what he's doing. When you get pushback from people who care more about Hurting the feelings of the people who've been in office for a long time. It doesn't mean that we're not acknowledging their legacy or the work they've done, but we're saying, look what happened in this last election. We need something new. And the way things are working right now is it is. It's two parties at this point. So why not work within the party and figure out how it is that we can change it and make it more reflective of what people want. I don't understand why somebody like Bakari Sellers, who has such a big platform and a big voice, is pushing against that to protect the feelings of Clyburn.
B
Really?
A
That's exactly what's happening.
B
I agree. Give it up for that. And like, you know, at this point, Bakari should be Rep. Clyburn. He should be the guy in South Carolina.
A
Yeah, that's a really good point.
B
Fresh and new and young and lies to us, and he should be. Bakari came on the boy. Bakari came on the election day live stream.
A
Don't throw. Don't do that to Bakari. Don't do that.
B
Bakari made me feel like I was the dumbest nigga in the world. I'm watching the way this shit is going and I'm like, well, you can cancel Christmas, motherfuckers. This is bad. Bakari said, hey the fuck up, idiot. There's gonna be a red wave, a blue wave that's coming overnight, and you can't see it. You don't have the analytics that I have. You haven't talked to the people that I've talked to. You don't know the pollsters. I know you have no clue what's going on.
A
He's so mad at you for this.
B
You don't know, dummy. So. Of course I do. What I do is I listen to somebody smarter then I pretend like I said that shit. So when people call me, I'm like, hey, stupid, you haven't talked to the pollsters. I've talked to Jamal. And then these niggas called me about 6, 6:30 the next morning. Yo, what happened to them posters? So, but look, I like, for me, it, it, you know, you guys listen to us talk and sometimes it seems like we are hard on the party that we caucus with. Like that we in some way are trying to subvert the Democratic agenda. What the Democrats have going on. It's not that despite what the Reddit says, okay? The stakes are just very high, right? The stakes are very high. So. The stakes are so high that sometimes I'm Like, I get a little frustrated.
A
Well, I think it's just about holding people accountable, and that's what it is. And I think it's frustrating when you see headlines that are trying to trash David Hogg and herself saying, oh, he's trying to uproot the party, or he's taking the party down, when all he's doing is literally saying what we say on this podcast. All he's doing is literally asking people to be accountable for the positions that they hold, to represent what their constituents want. And that's what we elect you for. And he's saying, if you don't do that and you just sit in that chair to hold the title and the status and whatever it may be, then you gotta get out. And that's what we want. And he's not running for office, but, like, they're low key, trying to push him out of even being holding the position that he has right now in.
B
The D.C. here's the thing, and I gotta be honest about this. It's tough to hear from a white boy. Makes me think it's.
A
But wait, what's tough for you to hear? Cause you feel like you should. The person who's saying this should look.
B
Different, not saying that they should look like anything. I'm talking about how they do look.
A
Okay?
B
So I think about a situation that happened in Louisiana Tech University, year 2000. It's me, it's Ryan. Girl named Kalina, her name was. There was two girls. I remember the second girl. Cause Kalina had a friend named Jolita. And Jolita, this was when I realized that it wasn't going good for me in life because Ryan was with Kalina, okay? And I was like, you know, Jolita gonna be down and. Y' all ever seen one of those videos from, like, Carnival where a guy tries to dance on a girl and then she looks back? That happened to me. So she was dancing. I got by. She was. She started laughing. And I felt like the only man on planet Earth. It was like all of a sudden, mystical stopped playing. It was like. Or it was playing a slow motion. Shake it first. Watch yourself. Anyway, we're all in a room, and this was the first time anyone had ever said this out loud where I could hear it. It was me, Ryan Bean, 80, Vito Quentin, and this white boy that lived on our floor named Jensen. And Jensen was from Anchorage, Alaska. Yeah. So Jensen, he would be like, yeah, Anchorage is the biggest city in Alaska. We call it Lost Anchorage. Like, that shit not funny, dawg. And so Jensen says, we're talking about something. And Jensen goes, yeah, well, you know, black women by all metrics have it significantly harder than any other segment of the population. If you look at all the things you're talking about, when you're really talking about the advancement of black people, if you look at it and you break it down, it's actually the advancement of black men. Because when you're talking about black women and all of a sudden Kalina and Julita go, and we've never thought about this before. We've never considered.
A
Of course you didn't.
B
So we like, nigga, that shit ain't true. And he says this and he's literally spitting. And I'm thinking, I'm not trying to hear that shit from you, white man. So I think that's the thing with David Hogg. But for this one Bakari, he's kind of gotta let this happen. He's gotta let this go. We have to get the old people out, man. If you watched I Love Lucy in First Run, you can't be in Congress. I swear to God, if you were watching TV before Good Times came out.
A
Come on, my nigga, that makes more sense than. Than I.
B
If you were watching TV and it was like, this is brand new show that's going to drop Friday nights on Fox, Sanford and Son, watch the crazy hijinks. You can't be in Congress no more.
A
What's the year? What's the cut off?
B
What you mean?
A
What's the cut off of when? Because you can. You couldn't have watched Good Times. You couldn't have watched. You could watch it, but you couldn't have been there at first run, but.
B
You couldn't have been an adult when that shit came out. Like, you couldn't have been talking about.
A
Your coworkers about 80s.
B
So what I'm saying is this. It's like.
A
But I get you.
B
They cut off air traffic controllers, shout out to y' all flying out of Newark. They cut off air traffic controllers at 56 because it's a very important job.
A
Do they really?
B
Yeah. See, this is the shit I'm talking about.
A
Oh, you an expert in this too.
B
Van Lathan, air traffic control expert. But they let you make laws about people until you croak on the job.
A
Sure.
B
Obama asked Ruth Bader Ginsburg, he was like, ruth, like we fuck with you. We gave you a nickname. Could you retire so that we don't have to do back alley abortions? And Ruth was like, no. And she died.
A
Yeah.
B
So what I'm saying is we can't baby. These old niggas anymore.
A
I agree. I agree.
B
All right.
A
I agree.
B
This episode is brought to you by Hyundai, who says you can't be the topic of conversation for all the right reasons. The Hyundai Tucson hybrid pairs bold presence with advanced technology and sleek style. It's everything you didn't know you needed in an SUV and then some. Okay, Hyundai. Visit HyundaiUSA.com to learn more.
E
This episode is brought to you by NBA 2K26. A favor to my sons and me. All right, quick break. NBA 2K26. Stacked this year. Gameplay new motion engine smoother catch and shoot. The rhythm shooting is dialed in. My team added the W. So now you can get Caitlin Clark pulling up from deep. Larry Bird talking trash mid game. Jokic casually dropping triple doubles. It's absurd in the best way. My career has a whole new storyline. The city's tighter and you're on the court way faster. I've been playing video basketball games. I think the first one was early 80s. I'm stunned. Like, when I go and my son's playing with his friends and I go in and I barge my own and I start playing with them. I'm just amazed by how good, how detailed all the games are, how they really look like NBA players. 2K26 is finally here, and, yeah, it is absolutely loaded. If you care about basketball even a little, you're checking it out today. Ball over everything.
A
Donnie.
B
So there's a new segment that we've been doing on higher learning. It's called glaze of the week.
A
Guys.
B
Now, we wanted to do that segment for you guys tonight, but thank you. Here's the deal. We can't do glaze of the week because this is too momentous of an occasion. So we have to do glazes of the decade. We're gonna do a glaze of the year for every year in these 2000 and twenties. Okay?
A
Also honoring the five years we've been doing this podcast. So this is our five year. This is our five year anniversary this month. Thank you. Thank you all. Thank you all. Thank you all. Thank you all.
B
Glazed of the year. Glaze of the year. I bet you didn't hear you're the glaze of the year. Glaze of the year. Glaze of the year. You're getting tears from sucking dick. All right.
A
Sweating 2020.
B
Glaze of the year. 2020.
A
We had to. You had to. You had to.
B
Look, it's Jim Clyburn.
A
Nothing has changed. Nothing has changed.
B
Now the whole world is on fire. This back here has a Picture of George. Rest in peace, George. Floyd, the whole fuck. Nancy don't even have her mask on.
A
Because she wants people to know that's her right.
B
So the whole world is on fire. And the Democrats were like, you know what? There's legislation we could do. Yeah, there's emergency funds that we could appropriate. But that's not what these niggas need. No, they need us to take a knee in dashiki. I'll be honest with you, if the dashiki wouldn't have been up there, I might have let these niggas slide.
A
It's not the dashiki.
B
What is it?
A
It's a kente cloth.
B
Oh, it's kente.
A
It's a kente cloth.
B
Shout out to my Africans, where y' all at? Might be too many.
A
Have we. Have we discovered whose idea this was yet? Who do you think. Who do you think came up with this?
B
Probably Bakari.
A
No, don't sue Bakari like that. It was Jim.
B
It was probably Jim. It was probably Jim. Look at Jim. Jim. Like, Jim's like, I will be remembered forever for this. All right, now, look. This was a terrible, crazy glaze. But little did we know that a short couple of months later, this glaze would be overdone by a whole group of people. Donnie, look at these white people.
A
Look at the front center. Look. Look at front center.
B
Look at this nigga in the front. Like, look at him in the front. They're taking our country. So Trump was able to make these morons believe that, you know, the government was being taken over because they lost an election. And so then they popped up here and decided they needed to take over the world. And God rest her soul, one of them had to die. Now they're getting $30 million. This is. This is one of the biggest glazes of ever. This started the Republican glaze.
A
Are bigger glazers that kind of came about from this are the people who, when this happened, people were kind of in unity as far as like.
B
And then Kevin McCarthy.
A
Yeah, they were like, you know what? This is wrong. This is an injustice. They all. We were like, wow. They gave.
B
Get it.
A
They understand the common sense. And then. Then they agreed with it. They're bigger. They're the bigger glazers, in my opinion, with January 6th than the people who stormed the Capitol, cuz they legitimized it.
B
So hold on for a second, before we are there, just for fun, are there any conservatives in the House? I just want to know.
A
Don't be afraid.
B
You don't have to be scared.
A
If Y', all, look, it doesn't mean you're maga.
B
If y'.
A
All.
B
If y' all are here. I just want to. I just want to see my back there. I see you.
A
We got one. We got one. We got one hand. We got one brace.
B
You're a conservative. You're conservative.
A
Hey, hey, no, no, no. You're probably not alone. You're pro. Vance, sit down. Vance it out.
B
Don't let them bully you. Okay? Hey, stand up. Stand up real quick. So I'm talking about. Look at him. Hey, what's your name? What? Terrence. Terrence.
A
Terrence, you're fiscally.
B
Terrence, you're. You're. You're fiscally conservative. What don't you want to spend money on? You think the government's wasteful? All right, so I'm gonna name out. I'm name some things. You tell me whether or not the government's wasteful with these things.
A
Snap. Rick, Terrence to the stage. Terrence, come here. Terrence, come up here. Terrence, come on up.
B
Terrence.
A
Terrence.
B
Terrence.
A
Terrence.
B
Terrence. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hey, hey, hey, brother. Don't you do this. Hey, my nigga. Hey, look at me, look at me. Look at me. I did this for nine years at tmz. You're gonna feel so fucking bad. Don't do it. Let Terrence. Let Terrence. Yeah, thank you. I don't like the whole fucking rhythm right there. Here. So, Terence. Okay, so snap. You don't like it? Don't need no food. Cool. Terence. What about the military? We spent way too much money. Okay, give it up for Terence.
A
He's not wrong. He's not wrong. You redeemed yourself a little bit, Terrence.
B
What about Medicaid?
A
We move a little.
B
Listen.
A
Listen to what he has to say.
B
Hear Terrence out.
A
Oh, come on. Come on, Terrence.
B
So last question I'm gonna ask you. The government should have no part in healthcare. Should be universal rights. So then you're for single payer healthcare. You think that healthcare is a human right. As is housing. Okay, so as is housing.
A
No, fam. We're not doing squatters. We're not doing the squatter squatters conversation. We're not doing it.
B
Housing.
A
Don't try to loop it in.
B
As is housing.
A
No.
B
So, Terence, what. What do you do? By the way.
A
Thank you, Terrence. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for being here.
B
Terence. I with you.
A
Thank you so much. Brave soul. A brave soul.
B
Very brave.
A
Shall we. Shall we move on to 2022.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
You don't want the squatters conversation. Don't do that.
B
2022. Yeah. So that's Kanye West. So Kanye west decided in 2022 to set a new fucking standard in glazing. He decided to glaze the unglazable Adolf Hitler. This is Kanye saying that he likes Hitler, which was really the last thing that the nigga could say. Now he's gone even further, and he dropped that. Heil Hitler. And I know that there's at least some of you here who listen to it and enjoyed it. I just want to let you guys know that if you like that song, you know. All right, so that's Kanye. So 2020, 2023.
A
Y'. All. You know you're wrong for laughing. You know you are wrong for laughing. Okay, it's a little too much noise. That's the moment of silence you should have asked for. It's a little too much noise.
B
So let me make the point.
A
Let me make the point.
B
Let me make the point here. So imagine that somebody comes to you, and they said, hey, we want to take you down to the depths of the ocean. We ain't got no backup plan. We got an Xbox controller. No backup oxygen, no real radar, no nothing. If you go down there, you on that nigga dick. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is a glaze, and this was the glaze that really cost people.
A
This shows the delusion of when you have too much money.
B
Yeah.
A
Like, they thought their money would keep them afloat. They thought their money would save them. They thought they were invincible.
B
And.
A
And within, what, 17 seconds, it was a different story.
B
Now, listen while I say it, and.
A
I'm not trying to say it to be funny. It's just. It just shows you how wrapped up in your own world you can be where you didn't ask the simple questions that you just said.
B
I mean, before, like, I've been all. Everywhere I go look at it like, I was in.
A
The site alone.
B
So I was in. I was in Club Playhouse in Miami, which is a strip club in Miami Gardens. And they were like, hey, we're going to take the boat out the next day. I was drunk. I was down like a bottle of tequila. I was throwing it all over the place. People were looking at me like, who's the guy with the cowboy hat? And, like, they were like, we're going to get on the boat the next day. And I asked. The first thing I said was, what could go wrong? That's the question I asked before anything and if you don't ask the question, what could go wrong? Especially in some shit when you going down to the bottom of the ocean, you on the nigga dick. Sorry. Next one. 20, 24.
A
Okay, let me tell you, I don't know about this.
B
Let me tell you why. Let me tell you what this is. This is actually for y', all, because this is a. A battle between two rappers, okay? One white and one.
A
Ask. How many people are Drake or Kendrick? Let's figure out what we're dealing with right here.
B
Because I'm not sure I fuck with Drake, okay? I like Drake. You're a big Drake fan. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're a big. Hold on. First of all, there's nothing wrong with being a Drake fan. But hold on. I need you to say a couple more sentences. Introduce yourself to me. Say something. You're Canadian. Oh, I was about to say. Where are you from, Scott? Yeah, Philly. An hour north of Philly. Like, what's the name of the town? He's from the Lehigh Valley.
A
Oh, Allen's.
B
Okay, so you're a Drake fan. So look, that's fine. During this entire battle, you couldn't talk critically about the battle because this was really about glazing.
A
Who or just the battle itself.
B
The battle itself was between two rappers who have been in contention for biggest artists of their generation, for rap. And this guy was going at this guy, this guy was going at that guy, whatever. And really, we should have been able to talk about this and just be like, I like this record. I like this line. But the fandom took this over so much that it became a real contest of which fan group could have the most glaze on their face and still be able to talk. So I looked at this. This was a whole glazing session. We can't think critically about things anymore. But you disagree with us.
A
But are we guilty of it? Because we talked about it so much on the podcast, did we not? We were right there in it. We had it in our faces. I think. I think. I think we're guilty of it, probably. Listen, I went to the pop out. I definitely have it on me.
B
Yeah. So I didn't go.
A
But you got us tickets.
B
So look, I think that Kendrick Lamar won this back and forth. Right? I do.
A
Hands down.
B
But I do think. I do think that Drake is still a fantastic, prolific artists with a ton of talent.
A
Oh, because you're Heavy on that Nokia.
B
No, no, like, I like Nokia. Like, I'm with that. So I don't think you can't support me even. What?
A
Please do.
B
Do that again for the people. They like that boy. I'm telling you. These are so thirsty for Rachel. It's so crazy right now. Y' all would not even realize the guys and they always hit me up. These be I ain't seen in years. Yo, yo, King, how you doing, bro? You know, I know King is crazy. Yo, King, how you doing, bro? I know you know you been falling on some hard times last lately. Things been crazy for you. I'm like, okay, yeah. You didn't reach out then. Yo, man, what's up with Shawty, though? You know what's up with Shawty.
A
But you never hook me up.
B
Cause I know. I know better. Remember, I work.
A
So are you telling me it's hopeless for me out there?
B
No, it's not hopeless. Okay, but you're gonna go through some bullshit and I'll be here for you. It's not hopeless. It's not hopeless at all. But you got. You got Willie, you know. You know what I'm saying? Willie Jones. All right, last one. And by the way, before Donnie, before you change it, this right here, this last one is one of the most prolific glazes I think that I've ever seen before in my life. Okay, Donnie. I mean, when Americans see deportations or repatriations happen, they're going to be like, thank you. When they see the border closed, they're going to say, this is what I voted for. When they see peace starting to, like, break out again around the world, they're.
F
Going to be like, this is the.
B
Stability that we were asking for. Daddy's back. So Terrence, Terrence, that's one of yours. That's Florida Congressman Byron Donalds. And this is the beginning of the year in January when Byron Donald said that Daddy. Donald Trump is Daddy. That Daddy is home. Daddy. Three times in my life I've been called Daddy. One is when I bought a really expensive purse. The other one is when we were woo hoo. And the third one is from a kid who thought that I was their father, but I really wasn't. I cannot imagine. Rest in peace to Van Terry Lathan Sr. Get up from a father, my nigga, right there in the green and white hat. You didn't clap for my dad.
A
And I'm not sure.
B
I looked around, I looked directly at you. This was like, I don't know that the Bronx. I still fuck with you, though. I fuck with uninterrupted, too. But anyway, so this nigga got nut on his face. And. But. And more importantly, it really was a window into Rachel, just how attached to some members of the Republican Party or the right, the paternal relationship that they feel with Donald Trump. And it's something that you really can't talk through or talk around. It feels like sometimes.
A
Well, it's disgusting. And I mean, we're out of. We run out of slides, but you easily could have put. Tim Scott.
B
Tim Scott.
A
Friend. Friend of the podcast. He doesn't know it, but he's a friend of the podcast.
B
I call him Gummy Bear.
A
We said we were going to stop. We said we were going to stop doing that. We said we would. Guys, don't laugh. We said. We said we would stop. No, no, no, listen. Stop.
B
Ukrainian people have to understand the only way out of their situation is the leadership of Donald Trump. Donald Trump is the one that can bring the world together. If not for him, I don't understand what me and my wife, who I just met three months ago, are gonna do. I'm not gay.
A
I never brought him up.
B
That's it. That's the glaze of the year. Look, let me tell you guys something.
A
There could have been more. For sure.
B
There could have been more. Here's the thing about the glaze of the week is we've been giving it to the Republicans a lot, but it's getting boring because glazing is a part of the platform we're going to start.
A
We just. 2020 was the Democrats.
B
I know, but that was just an unimpeachable glaze. But there's a lot of glazing that goes on. And my next book, by the way, I'll announce it right here. I have another book coming out. The name of this book is Dick Riding Must Die. Okay, I'm being 100% serious. How objectivity can save the world. And I truly believe that the ability to critical think and to set apart tribalism to a degree. I'm always going to be with y', all, but we have to be able to look at an issue and do the information synthesis in a way that is outside of centering ourselves or allegiances. And we have to use our brains. We have to work that muscle.
A
But can I be honest? I don't think that it's the ability to critical think. I think that they're fully capable of doing that. It's the ability to be fearless and not care what people think about you or what the repercussions are going to be or what your party's going to say. It's just the ability to call things out for what they are and just speak your mind.
B
I wish I agree with you.
A
So many people. You wish you agreed with me?
B
I wish you. I would agree with you.
A
So many people won't do that.
B
So this is what I think. I really do think that. That intellectual fearlessness is a skill. It's not something that you're endowed with. Right? And so, like, I remember back in the day, I was in Mr. Holland's fucking physics class, and he said to me, he said, you know, the sun is going to burn out. I was like, what? He's like, the sun won't be there forever. And I was like. He's like, don't worry. We have billions a year left. I was like, I don't give a fuck how long we have. You mean to tell me it's gonna be somebody that wakes up one day and they're gonna be like, there's no sun. The sun is going. And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, the sun will supernova. And then I was like, so how are we gonna get Nova Nova? He was like, I'm like, how are we going to get the UV rays and stuff that we need for the sun? He goes, oh, that won't matter, because when the sun's supernovas, it will consume the Earth.
A
But he said, billions of years, right?
B
Don't matter. Okay. And I remember going home to Mom. Mom was like, how did the algebra test go? I go, who cares? When were you going to tell me that the sun was going to supernova and consume the Earth? And she was like, we got billions of years. I'm like, I'm taking crazy pills. Like, no, who's going to care about the people? So what I'm saying is that truth is truth, no matter how inconvenient it is. So you can pretend like that's not gonna happen, or you can come up with a contingency to save the human race, which will be long gone. Save the human race a billion years from now. And I think that there are people that are more afraid of the inconvenient truth.
A
Agreed.
B
Than they are willing to confront it, talk about it, and deal with it. The fact that the United States of America has been a country that has been involved in systemic and institutional racism since its founding is a very unconventional truth. Unconventional truth for the terraces out there, but it's something that we have to reconcile, I guess.
A
For me, when you talk about the truth. It's way closer. Like, the decisions we're making now, what we're doing now is so much more closer that if it doesn't impact us, it will surely impact the next generation as opposed to the sun, you know, doing whatever it does billions of years now. Like, well, you said we, and I was like, we. Who cares? Like, I could care less about that. I'm sorry. It's billions of years. Like, let the people who are a million years, maybe like 10,000 years care about that. Talk about what's happening politically to us that is affecting us now. We see it, we feel it. And if it not, it's going to affect us in the next generation. So two totally different things. I don't give a fuck about the sun.
B
Who says that.
A
I don't.
B
Who says I don't give a fuck about the sun? Walking around cold all the time.
A
We gotta move on to the next thing.
B
All right, it's time for animal games.
A
It's time.
B
So here's the thing. Our next two, we have animal games, and then we have the apology game, okay? But we need one of. We need one of you. Who in the audience right now thinks that they know about animals. Who wants to play? Oh, they're pointing at you. They're pointing at you.
A
Nobody. Nobody.
B
Are you some kind of.
A
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
B
Hold on, hold on. Are you some kind of zoo biologist? Hey, what's your name? Give it up for Naomi. She's coming up on the stage to play animal games. Naomi, come on, Naomi.
A
Come on.
B
Naomi, Naomi, Naomi, Naomi. Naomi's coming on stage right now to play animal games. And while we're doing this, okay, Naomi's coming up. She's playing animal games with us while we're doing this. This is what we need for the segment after Animal Game, we need two people, a man and a woman, that think that they are good at apologizing. We're gonna have an apology off between men and women, my brother, right here.
A
It's a bit of gender wars.
B
Gender wars.
A
It's a bit of gender wars.
B
You think you're good at apologizing right here.
A
Her hand shot up first. Over here.
B
You wanna. You wanna do it?
A
Okay, we need a sister right here. She was right here.
B
Up here. Sister. Okay, and you. So the two of you, you and you, go to the back. We're gonna put. Put on for the men and the women. Who's better at apologizing right now, brother, go. Go to the back. Go to the back.
A
Okay, but first it's Animal games. Donnie, play the theme song.
B
Animal, Animal. Animal Gang.
A
Donnie.
B
Animal, Animal. Animal game. Animal, Animal. Okay, that's the animal name. Sleep song right there.
G
You keep the hat right here. I'm gonna sit right here. Since I'm hosting, I feel like I should be.
B
Donnie, you're a brand new father.
G
I don't know about brand new.
B
How old is Juni now?
G
Juni is a year and two months.
B
Wow.
A
It's brand new.
B
That's great. You abandoned the podcast for untold months so that you can go be a dad.
A
Van was upset.
B
I know, but you know what? I was upset. But then Ashley did such a great job.
A
Ashley. Ashley's here.
G
Guys, give it up for Ashley.
B
That at a certain point, I was like, do we need this nigga?
A
It got there about month three.
B
I was like.
A
We were like, we. Okay, we don't need that.
G
Y' all were rolling. Yeah.
B
And then. Stop trying to act like you didn't care.
A
You saw the way he came up on stage, right?
B
Did you want us to fail? Donnie, let me tell you something. So this is what I don't like, okay? I don't like that sometimes I go to the Reddit and people go, dan sucks. I hate his singing. I hate his games. I hate his voice. I hate everything about him. You know who should get more burned on the podcast? You know who we want? You know who we need? We need Donnie. We need Donnie's take.
A
They love Donnie. They love Donnie.
B
Donnie, I want you to say. I want you to say something. I want you to give a take right now that you think would be unpopular with the people.
A
Live in my world, Donnie. This is a trap. Donnie, don't do this.
B
Donnie, say something right now, Donnie, that you think the people.
A
Where's Naomi?
B
Well, Naomi, come on up here. Donnie, say something right now that you think the people wouldn't like the. Hi, Naomi. Donnie, do it.
G
The Knicks.
A
Oh, my God.
B
I love it.
A
I mean, what's the score? What's the score of the game?
B
What's the score of the game?
A
What's the score of the game?
B
Huh? Who's up?
A
We appreciate you guys being here in the middle of the Knicks game. That's real loyalty. So thank you. Despite what Donnie said.
B
All right. Naomi, do you have a microphone over there? Oh, Naomi speaking to the mic.
A
Hi.
B
How are you?
D
I'm well.
A
How are you?
B
Oh, I'm doing well.
A
Hi.
B
Naomi. Where are you from?
D
Oh, I'm from Boston.
A
Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, energy.
G
The same energy.
A
Are you a Celtics fan?
D
I Am. Which is funny.
B
Yeah. Wow.
A
Yes.
D
My boyfriend's actually at the bar watching the game because he's a Knicks fan and he was offended I didn't invite him tonight.
B
Yeah.
D
And I was like, oh, well, you.
A
Don'T need to go.
B
Naomi, we're so happy that you're on stage with us playing.
A
Thank you.
B
Your friends pointed directly at you. No. Do you have a love of animals?
D
Well, okay, long story short, I had. I went to college for marine biology.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
No.
D
But I switched my major to environmental studies, and now I work in social impact.
B
Oh. Give it up for Naomi. Thank you.
A
Thank you. You're gonna be great.
B
It's animal games time. Donnie, let's go.
G
All right, since we're in New York, obviously we're gonna do New York based or New York themed animals.
B
What? Rats.
A
That's.
G
We're saving that for last. Do y' all know the rules to animal games? Do I need to explain them?
B
Explain the rules for them.
G
Okay, so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna ask a series of questions, multiple choice or true or false, to each of them. They'll answer them, and we'll tally up the winner.
B
Don't. Hey, don't take over the podcast.
A
We had to have an off mic moment. We were like, look at Donnie.
B
How do you tell who? So we can go, this is the rules. Those are the rules.
G
All right, guess first. You ready?
D
Okay.
B
All right.
G
The actual.
A
The.
G
The first animal isn't rats. It's gonna be pigeons. Right. I haven't seen a rat in my time in New York yet, but I've seen hella pigeons.
A
Okay.
G
First question is, what is a baby pigeon called?
A
Multiple choice, multiple choices.
G
A, chicklet. B, peep. C, squab.
B
Oh.
G
Or D, pufflet.
A
Oh.
D
I don't know. I'm going to say I like pufflet, so I'm going to go with pufflet.
G
I like pufflet, too, but you're wrong. Naomi, what the fuck is C. Squab?
A
They were trying to help you out. I was like, I was trying, and y' all better do the same for me.
G
Squab comes from the Scandinavian word for loose, fat. Flesh.
B
Oh, my. Oh, daddy.
A
What the heck?
B
Flesh. Oh, my God. Oh. Oh, father.
G
All right, let's continue with the lady's first theme. Rachel, which one of these things is a lie? What is a lie? Which one of is not true? A, in lab experiments, pigeons have learned to read simple words. B, New York City once tried to give pigeons birth control.
B
Oh, my Lord.
G
C, pigeons make Milk. D, all of those things I just said are lies.
B
Hey, why don't you just answer the question?
A
Y' all think pigeons read?
B
Yeah.
A
I'm going with D. Yeah, you're right.
G
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. D is a lie. Everything I said was true.
B
Yeah.
G
Pigeons make milk.
A
I heard that wrong. Thank God I've been taking shots.
G
One point for me, one point for Rachel Crop. Milk is a thick, cheesy paste.
B
Oh, my God.
A
I've dissected a pigeon before.
B
Did you?
A
Yeah. In our middle school, our science teacher caught pigeons. He would trap them. I'm pretty sure this was illegal.
B
Wait a minute. Wait, What? He caught the pigeons himself.
A
All right, all right, all right. So, seventh and eighth grade, our science teacher shout out to Mr. Mincik. He would. I went to school in downtown Dallas, and so he built a contraption that would lure the pigeons in. And then he would close the box down, and then he would freeze them, and then we would dissect them.
B
Rachel.
A
So that's how I know some pigeon facts.
B
Rachel. Rachel. You just shouted out Mr. Menzik. Mr. Mencik has killed so many people.
A
It was Dave Mincik, to be correct.
B
You hear this?
A
Tears.
G
All right, you ready?
B
Yeah.
A
This is what you could do. At private school, there are no rules.
G
Last question is gonna be for Van. You got a true or false question?
B
Okay.
G
Pigeons mate for life and only form new pairs during the breeding season. True or false?
B
That's false.
G
It's true.
B
Damn.
G
Pigeons are generally monogamous.
A
But I won. I won. But it's my time to stand up. Thank you so much. Sorry. Donnie, go ahead.
B
I don't believe that.
G
Yeah, it's true. But pigeons, just like humans, aren't always faithful. Male pigeons often mate with other female pigeons.
A
Dottie.
B
Feel me? Yeah. I mean, not we. We respect our queens. We good. But we gotta grow up, like, in our 20s, you know what I'm saying? But when we get to our 30s, like, 35, we calm this shit down.
A
Okay?
B
Rachel, to my deep, deep chagrin, won. Animal Games. Give it up.
G
There's another round.
A
Oh, there's another round. We have time.
B
Okay, go. There's one more round.
A
I'm gonna roll. Let's go.
B
All right, start with me this time. Start with me. No.
G
We'Re starting with our guests.
B
Naomi, where'd you go to college again? Where'd you go?
D
I went to the University of Delaware.
B
Oh, wow. Yeah. And so you went to the University of Delaware. And then you. So, what do you do? You say you do impact work now?
D
Yes, I do social impact in the corporate space. So I work for a team called Tech for Social Good. And we basically do pro bono work and tech capacity building for, you know, globally, for all nonprofits, socially focused organizations.
A
Give it up for Naomi. Look at our thought warriors making a difference in the world. Thank you.
B
All right, one more round of animal games.
G
All right, rats. This rat species is the most commonly found in New York City. Multiple choice.
A
Okay.
G
A, the brown rat. B, the thicket rat.
B
The thick rat thicket. Because I was thinking Scotty with the body.
G
C, the black rats, or D, the giant naked tailed rats.
B
Oh, my.
A
These substantial rats, all real species?
G
Yeah, these are all real.
B
Okay. What you got, Naomi?
D
I feel like maybe because they're brown, I don't know if it's dumb to be like, oh, hold on.
A
You can ask for help from. Cuz you're a guest. You can ask for help from the.
B
Audience who thinks they know thicket.
D
Did someone.
A
They're not sure.
B
They say the thicket. Laugh.
A
That one person said thicket. Oh.
D
Oh, my God.
A
She's not from here. Don't ask her. Don't. She's from Texas. Don't ask. Don't ask her.
D
Okay, I'm going to say the brown rat. The first one.
G
Yes, you're right.
A
I want to set the brown rat. I want to say brown rat.
G
The brown rat is bigger and more aggressive than the black rat, which was officially displaced by the Brown Rat in 2014.
A
Go ahead.
B
Oh, my God. God, the jokes write themselves.
G
Yeah, they do.
B
All right.
G
All right, Rachel, you ready? This was multiple choice, too.
A
All right.
G
The average lifespan for a wild brown rat in New York city is A, four to five years, B, 10 months, C, one to three years, or D, seven to eight years. Lifespan.
A
What was C, one to three?
G
C was one to three.
A
I don't know. I'll go with C. You'll go, right?
G
You're right.
B
You're correct.
A
It's over. It's over, guys. It's over.
G
Y' all are tired.
A
Thank you so much. So much.
B
All right.
G
I think you're kind of out of it, but we can still ask this question.
B
Give me the fucking question.
G
True or false again? Rats are one of the few mammalian species where females prefer mates with smaller penises.
A
True.
B
Donnie.
A
Donnie. This is perfect for you, nigga.
B
Why are you perfect for me?
A
Because.
B
What have you heard?
A
Because it's a sexual question. You know how glaze of the week. You love to bring these things up. This is perfect for you. You should be an expert. True or false? 50% chance now.
B
They like what they like. Little dicks. What'd you say?
G
True or false? Rats like lil dicks.
B
So here's my. Here's my question. How the fuck do we know this? What?
A
I knew. Naomi knew.
B
True.
G
It's false. The bigger, the better. Studies show that female rats prefer mates with meat.
A
Doesn't matter who you are.
G
Rats actually have a bone in their penises. That's called the baculum. It helps it with size and rigidity. You're out, though.
A
I love it here.
G
We do have a tiebreaker because you guys are tied.
A
Well, no, I had two.
G
You had two.
A
You have one.
G
Oh, never mind.
A
Okay, we can do the tiebreaker. It's a guess.
B
Why would we do a tiebreaker? Just do it off the stage. By the way, let me tell y' all something. Let me tell y' all something. Donnie fixes animal games. He does what she does.
A
You see how you can't give a woman credit? You can't give women credit that they're just better than you. Is that right? Yes. Come on.
B
That's true.
A
That's really what it comes down to. Thank you, Donnie.
G
Thank you.
A
We can do it.
B
We can do it now. Okay. Okay. Okay.
G
This is the bonus question.
B
The.
G
In Donkey Kong lore, the original 1981 version had Mario trying to rescue the princess from atop the Empire State Building. The question is, the princess. In this original version, her name was multiple choice. A, Persephone, B, Peach. C. It was just Princess. Or D, Pauline.
B
This is all Naomi.
G
Yeah, you just go with Naomi.
D
I'm going to go with Persephone.
A
Me?
D
Just because I like it.
B
Damn it, you're wrong.
A
I'm going to go with C. Okay.
G
It was D. Pauline.
A
Damn, we both were wrong.
B
Her name was Pauline.
G
Pauline. She had a old black lady name.
B
Yeah. Like, what the. That lady would never find herself in that predicament in the first place.
A
No, that's right.
D
That's true.
A
All right, Try to redeem yourself.
B
That was whack. Bye.
A
Thank you, Naomi. Y' all, give it up for Naomi.
B
Animal. Animal. Animal Game. Animal. Animal.
A
Thank you, Donnie. Thank you. Now.
B
Animal. Animal. Animal. Game. Animal. Animal. Game. Are you upset that's the animal? No, because let me tell you, it's not about being mad, okay? But let me tell you what the thing is. You don't care about animals.
A
That's not true. Clearly.
B
I brought animal games to the podcast in order to raise awareness for animals. And what Donnie does is he fixes animal games. He fixes animal games every single time. To where I get.
A
You had a better percentage than we did. You had 50. 50. And you still couldn't get it.
B
What he did, though.
A
We had 20. We had 25%.
B
Okay, listen, guys. Ooh.
A
Ooh.
B
I don't give a fuck.
A
See, I'm so. I'm so glad y' all get to see this.
B
But let me tell y' all something y' all don't understand. This is my life, okay? My life is getting judged by Rachel about different things. She keeps me, you know, me and Rachel. But here's the thing. How you gonna give me a question about the size of rat dicks? I got all of this entrenched homophobia. I'm trying to get it out.
A
I would have known it. I'm trying to work y'. All. Know what I'm saying? Ladies. I would have known it was true.
B
Oh, for real? Yeah.
A
It doesn't change. Well, I just know. I just know women.
B
You know, women with a. But then there was a white boy. So anyway.
A
Not the low hanging fruit. What else you got?
B
Nothing.
A
Come on.
B
I got nothing.
A
Come on.
B
Yeah, I got nothing. Cause you do. Because you back. You back to the. Back to the black. Give it up for Rachel.
A
I came home. I came home.
E
This message is a paid partnership with Apple Card. There's one thing I'm going to make sure I pack for my summer vacation. It's my Apple Card. I can earn up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase, including fuel for my car and booking places to stay. Plus, I don't have to worry about fees, including foreign transaction fees, which is perfect when I'm planning to travel abroad. To get an Apple Card for your summer travels, apply on the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 18.24% to 28.49% based on creditworthiness rates as of July 1, 2025 terms and more@applecard.com this message is a paid partnership with Apple Card. If there's one thing I'm going to make sure I pack for my summer vacation, it's my Apple Card. I can earn up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase, including fuel for my car and booking places to stay. Plus, I don't have to worry about fees, including foreign transaction fees, which is perfect when I'm planning to travel abroad. To get an Apple Card for your summer travels, apply in the Wallet app on Your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval. Apple card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City Branch. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 18.24% to 28.49% based on creditworthiness rates as of July 1, 2025. Terms and more@applecard.com.
A
Get on stage.
B
It's time for the apology.
A
It's time for gender wars.
B
Gender wars.
A
Yeah. Hey.
B
All right. Now you guys get to sit here, and I'm gonna read the. So this is a Rachel situation. Rachel, of course you guys know, is the apology rater here at Higher Learning. Now, she's never given an apology rating that is sufficient for anyone ever. However, we want to know who's better at apologies. Men. What's this hat you got?
A
Oh, my God.
B
Tell us about the hat. You really want to know? Yeah.
A
Yes.
H
I'm a. I'm a very boring person.
B
When you. Hey, everyone.
H
My name's John. When I heard that you guys are going to be here, I was like, let me. Let me do something special for thought warriors. And so I went to Newer era, and I got a lot of spam texts afterwards, but I asked them to make a custom hat.
B
Oh, my God.
A
Oh, wow. Thank you. We don't even have our own merch, so thank you. We don't even have it. No, we don't, but we need.
B
We need more applause.
A
Thank you.
B
Thank you. Okay, that's actually one more thing. This is what's up.
H
I was talking to my boy D, over here from my dad, but you guys got me through the pandemic. It was really, really tough. Really want to thank you guys.
A
Thank you.
B
Absolutely.
A
That's amazing, John. Thank you, John. And what's your name?
I
Hi, I'm Brianna.
A
And Brianna.
B
Briana. What have you done special for the podcast?
A
You're here.
I
My presence is your gift.
A
I like that energy. I like that energy. Energy. Now, ladies, I'm not mad, but I.
I
Will say my husband is a huge fan, and he turned me on your podcast. He's been a loyal listener since day.
A
Thank you.
B
Your husband, where's he at? That's what I'm talking about, brother.
A
Let's not forget this is gender wars.
B
Got a good one.
A
And we're already bringing the energy. Let's go. But John, appreciate you, too.
B
You want him to be like, come home. That's what I'm about. Talking. Talking about. Anyway, okay, apology contest. First scenario. You're apologizing to your romantic partner for an argument that you had with their mother. Here is the caveat you truly believe their mother was wrong? Sister, you can go first.
A
So who she's apologizing to?
B
Apologizing to the. To her partner, this brother right here, because she got in an argument with his mom. However, she truly believes that his mom was wrong.
I
I just want to start by saying that I would never do that. Not that I love his mom, but that I love him.
A
You already got a point, bruh.
B
A lot of people gonna look, you got a good one. That's the type you want. Fuck your mama. You my husband. That's what you want.
I
So my thought process and apologies is that I acknowledge my part in it, and I acknowledge what I did wrong as much as I could. But I also talk about what got me there. I think it's very terrible that women always get called out for their reactions and never what happens pre.
B
So give us the apology. What would you say?
A
That was great.
I
So I would say, listen, things have calmed down. Now that things have calmed down, I want to talk to you about what happened. I just want to say my execution was wrong right from the bat. I know you're mad at me, but I do believe that if you listen past my frustration and hear what I have to say, it is valid. And please ignore for one second how I did this, and can you please hear where I'm coming from? But I am truly sorry and I deeply regret the issue that I have caused with you and your mother. Let's see if we have steps forward.
B
This nigga got this nigga crazy. I'm gonna be honest with you. All right, John, I hear a lot of boos, but what would you do? Same scenario. Same scenario. Once again, we're going to the same scenario. You're apologizing to your romantic partner for an argument you had with their mother. You truly believe the mother is wrong.
H
I know that. That you saw pretty hair and I like outside during. During dinner. But I want you to know that that discussion was. Was truly from. From a good place. She wanted to plan the trip in the middle of your closing statement, and I really didn't want to make that a conflict for you and a challenge. And so I told her that I thought the week before would be better.
B
Or the week after.
A
Give him some space.
B
Let John cook.
A
Are you done?
I
I think the background is that he's a lawyer, so I think I heard you say closing statement. He was talking about actual. He tried to actualize the event.
B
Let John cook. John is cooking some chitlins. All right, Rachel, score each one.
A
Okay, score.
B
John first. Oh, shit. John.
A
No, that's not reflective of what I chose. Rachel, who am I doing?
B
First score, John. First John gets a three.
A
But it's a three. It's a three. Which I do have to say, John, is higher than I've ever given any apology on the podcast. For starters, I don't know what you were talking about, but I love that you created merch, and for that, I'm appreciative. And three is a lucky number of mine, so that's why I decided to go with three.
B
Okay, so, sister. What was your name again?
A
This came with it. She gets a nine. I'm sorry. The explanation, the thought behind it, the time, the care you gave to him, to his mom, the respect. I don't know how you could do anything else. I wanted to give a 10, but.
B
Are you listening?
I
Are you listening? Thank you.
A
It was good. All right, we gotta try again. We got more. We got more.
B
Second one. Okay, here's the deal. You're apologizing to a good friend for missing their wedding. Here's the thing. You had a once in a lifetime career opportunity, and you think they're marrying the wrong person. John, you get to go first. I'll say again. You're apologizing to a good friend for missing their wedding. You had a once in a lifetime career opportunity, and you think they're marrying the wrong person.
H
All right, first of all, I want to start off with saying I'm sorry. I think you understand that for me, this opportunity was truly once in a lifetime. And I want to take a step back for a moment and explain why I'm starting off with the career opportunity. It's because, primarily for me.
B
Hey, wait. Wait a second. Don't do that.
A
Go ahead, John.
B
Let John get through his apology. John, continue.
H
For me, on my values hierarchy, security is number one. And so I have to let them know that truly, they are a good friend, but this opportunity couldn't be missed.
A
You said it's a good opportunity. Wait, wait, wait. John, I didn't. I want you to finish. Let him. Let him go. He's not done. He's not done.
H
And once that hierarchy is satisfied, I can give myself to everyone else. And so I want to give my.
B
Full self to you.
H
As a friend and truthfully.
A
Okay.
H
And truthfully, as a token of my true. Of my true, true regret, I want.
B
To.
H
Give $500 to your honeymoon.
B
Okay?
A
Cause you got the job now. Cause you got the job now. Because you got the job. I get it. I get it, John. I get it. You got the job.
H
Just trying to think of a good number.
A
John. Listen. John gave up on.
B
I'm going to be honest with you. That was the most male apology I've ever heard before in my life. Okay. Now, sister, come through. Okay, here we go.
I
I'm going to try my best here. Just want to set the scene. This is happening before the wedding, not after the wedding. I would never just show up.
A
Not a fan.
I
That's part of the accountability. Either you tell them straight up or don't tell them at all. So I'm calling to let you know. Hey, you know, I want to have a serious conversation with you. I'm not able to go to your wedding. And for myself and you, I want you to understand why. It's a two prong issue here. One, as much as I would love to support you and be there for you and your relationship, you already know how I feel because I voiced it about your partnership. And although I would still stand there on that day to support you, I don't want you to think that that's why I'm not going. The second part is I. Unfortunately. Fortunately for me. Unfortunately for you, I got a new job.
B
Job.
I
It's popping. I'm like VP of whatever I wanted. And unfortunately, I know that I can't be there, but I know that you would support me on your big day, and I would support you on my big. On your big day. And vice versa. Excuse me. So we're gonna be clapping for each other in different places, and we're gonna get. After your wedding. I won't take you guys out, even though you know I hate him, but I will be there for you, and.
A
You'Ll be there to pick up the pieces. Everybody be there for her when it ends. Damn. Okay, John, Van threw his hat. You don't want Van to score this one.
B
Oh, wait, wait, wait. I'm not. I'm not. I can't score it. Rachel's.
A
But I'm gonna give you a five.
B
Hold on, John. You say you want to try one? One. Run quickly. Go, go.
A
On this. On this topic. On this topic.
B
The next one. The next one.
A
On the last one, I'm giving you a five.
B
It's okay. It's okay, Tessa.
A
And you did try to bring it back.
B
Everybody, give it up for Tessa.
A
Give them money to come give it up for Tessa.
B
Give it up for Elizabeth. Give it up for the whole Spotify team. Come over here. Sit down.
A
I'm gonna get. I'm gonna deduct a point because I was trying to give You a score. And Van was talking over me.
I
Thank you.
A
No, I'm just.
I
I saw it with my own eyes. I saw it with my own eyes.
A
No, no, no. I'm giving you five. Because you tried to bring it full circle. You came back, you gave them some money. That was nice. But you never addressed the issue of the fact that you didn't like the significant other. You just skirted over that. Some people think. Okay, that's the point. That's. That's a good point. Some people think you shouldn't have. I'm giving sis a nine again. Yes.
I
I did what I was told.
A
Yes.
I
I told you guys I wouldn't do that.
A
Anyway, she addressed everything. It was thoughtful, considerate. It covered all the bases. I wouldn't be mad at you, but I would have liked the gift. I would have liked something.
I
I said I was gonna take you out. That's a good gift.
A
And I'll give you.
I
And I'll give you a Dyson. I'll give you a Dyson. I'll do a Dyson.
B
Okay.
A
That's not 500 either.
I
478.
B
For the. For the last round, we going to bring, you know, some brotherhood into it. We going to double team it.
I
Do I not get a part?
A
You don't need it, Sis.
B
Okay, thank you, Eiffel Tower. This thing. My man. What's your name?
F
Skyler.
B
Skyler?
F
Yeah.
B
That's a white ass name. I know. So blame my mom.
F
So happy Mother's Day.
B
This is. So we're going to go back and forth. We're going to go. You, Skylar John. Last one. You're apologizing for old tweets. The tweets are bad. Racism, whatever system. You can choose all the isms you can do whatever. Isms and schisms that you like, whatever. But you know damn well someone is out to get you by digging up these old tweets. So you're apologizing for the tweets, but at the same time you're like, I've just got popping and people digging up old tweets, man. Fuck them. Okay? So that's what's in your mind. Go.
I
I just want to say it's been a really difficult time.
B
Yo, my nigga. Hold on. Bro, bro, bro. Let me tell you something. Hold on real quick. Real quick, my guy. I know you're in a fucking blender. Weekly. Weekly. You're in a blender, bro. I know you don't because you come home and the dishwasher is not empty. And she goes, let me Tell you what this means. Okay. You're in a blender. You got. Okay, go ahead.
A
It was great.
I
I just want to say I've had a very difficult time processing all of my feelings and everything around me. I want to thank. Thank my support system who's been here to really show me who I am, and that's honestly you guys. And these are the moments that I know that I have family. And I just want to say, when I saw what I said, I can't believe it was me.
B
Don't make me laugh.
I
I couldn't believe that was me. And honestly, all of the work, the introspective work that I've done to find myself gone in five seconds because I was just a child then. But now I know I made a mistake, and I just want to say I deeply regret it. And all the frustrations that I've caused. All of these people questioning who I am just know it's the real me now.
A
They like it. They like. They like it. Look at the ladies and your husband. The ladies and your husband. Okay, all right, all right, all right. Yalls, turn.
I
You're right. You're right.
B
You apologize for old tweets. The tweets are bad, but you know damn well someone is out to get you by digging them up. Try your best, nigga. It wasn't me.
F
So, first off, I would just like to apologize to the community. I never, ever, ever harbored any ill feelings, any resentment toward who I offended by those tweets. I did make those tweets. I can't deny that I said those words. What I can say is that I didn't intend to make anyone feel that way. I know intent is an impact. And the way that I've impacted this community, I can't take that back. Okay. I know that my words hurt people, and I am truly, truly sorry. I have turned to God.
A
Scholar.
F
I am actively. I am actively in therapy. I am unlearning. I am unlearning the views of my grandfather and my ancestors. I am doing what I can.
B
This nigga with black panther on them.
F
I am doing exactly what I can to make sure that I apologize and mend any of the fences that I have broken. I am so sorry. I promise that I will be better in the future. I cannot say that I don't do too much.
B
Scholar.
F
I cannot say that I will be perfect. But I would again, sincerely like to apologize to all of those who I've offended.
B
What up?
A
He's good. John.
B
I'm gonna make this quick.
A
Make it Quick.
B
All right.
A
Give him. Give him a chance.
B
What I said. But.
A
We back. We up, we up, we up. City girls up.
B
But that's what I would say. And that's a tweet, but that should.
H
Not take away from what I'm going to do going forward. I'm a different person. I saw and I see the hurt and I'm a changed man.
B
Or John Quick, clean. Give it up for John, y'.
A
All.
B
Hey, you know what this told me? All three of y' all got some fucked up tweets somewhere. Cause y' all was too cold at that shit.
I
I've been practicing my whole life.
A
That was the best one. All of y' all had great apologies. I think the audience agrees. Give yourselves a round of applause. However, I have to keep the same energy I do with the podcast. I don't believe any of y'. All. Not a one. It was very transparent. It was beautiful. You said all the right. Things changed, man. God, your whole thing was great. But I don't believe any of you. Y' all get a one all equally. A one. Because I don't believe you. I don't believe you. I don't believe you. Sorry. Sorry.
I
So my tears were nothing that.
A
The tears. You lost me with the tears. Because I don't believe you. You all said what you're supposed to say, but you know you did it. And on the podcast, I'm a firm believer if you. I don't care what age you are.
B
In this first gender wars, sister, you took it home.
A
Yeah, he did.
I
So all my women out there, thank.
B
You, all the ladies, I'm here for you guys. All the sisters. Okay, you guys can leave.
A
Thank you guys so much. Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Van. Have a seat. Sit down, sit down, sit down. Exactly what y' all think about this first live show ever. We couldn't do it without you guys bringing the energy. You guys have been great giving. Give yourselves a round of applause. You've been great.
B
Till the next time, take your think caps off, but do not stop learning. I'm Van Lathan Jr.
A
I'm Rachel and Lindsay. Bye, guys. Thank you for being here.
Date: May 14, 2025
Podcast: Higher Learning with Van Lathan and Rachel Lindsay
Host: The Ringer
In this special live episode recorded in New York, Van Lathan and Rachel Lindsay discuss recent headlines and enduring issues within Black culture, politics, and media. The show features their signature blend of humor and frank conversation, with deep dives into political accountability, generational divides within the Democratic Party, fan culture in hip-hop, and a playful exploration of New York’s animal scene. The episode also includes interactive segments with the live audience—ranging from “Animal Games” to a raucous “Apology Game”—and notable discussions on the role of objectivity in public discourse.
(00:35–03:42)
(03:51–09:32)
(09:53–12:57)
(13:46–30:24)
(31:45–54:06)
(36:23–39:30)
(50:14–55:00)
(55:04–74:11)
(75:49–95:46)
| Segment | Time | |:---------------------------------------------- |:----------- | | Opening: Diddy & Empathy | 00:35–03:42 | | Van’s Diddy Story | 03:51–09:32 | | NY Cab-Hailing & Audience Fun | 09:53–12:57 | | Politics: Democratic Party Old vs. Young | 13:46–30:24 | | “Glaze of the Year/Decade” Highlights | 31:45–54:06 | | Conservative Audience Debate | 36:23–39:30 | | Animal Games | 55:04–74:11 | | Audience Apology Showdown (Gender Wars) | 75:49–95:46 |
The episode’s tone is irreverent, candid, often hilarious, and sometimes deeply serious, perfectly balancing improvisational comedy with biting commentary on culture and politics. The live audience’s energy contributes to an atmosphere that is both lively and communal, reinforcing the podcast’s commitment to open, thought-provoking—and fun—conversation.
This inaugural live Higher Learning episode captures everything fans love about the show: raw honesty, sharp analysis, infectious humor, and fearless engagement with both difficult topics and the podcast’s own loyal community. Whether exploring political accountability, poking fun at groupthink in culture, or making the crowd laugh through trivia, Van and Rachel deliver a memorable—and quintessentially Higher Learning—experience for listeners and attendees alike.