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Highest Self Podcast®
624: When To Surrender - And When Not To: The Paradox Of Spiritual Truths with Sahara Rose
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We hear the word “surrender” all the time in spirituality, but what does it actually mean? For most of my life, surrender didn’t make sense. My mom fled war in Iran, my dad too, and everything I learned growing up was about fighting for...
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I left that apartment in Miami with a suitcase, ended up living out of that suitcase for over a year, traveling to Egypt and Trinidad and all these different places, like no home base, no apartment. Literally just going from one destination to the next, being guided by a source that was beyond me. And every single place I went to, it's like I was meeting a new archetype, a new version of myself. And I started to realize why. Like, why I needed to meet the side of me that needed to die in Egypt and the other part of me that needed to dance and be wild and free in Trinidad and another part of me that needed to go so deep and heal in Sedona, and. And the list went on. And I started to realize that the universe had plans for me that I could have never planned for myself. And in that process of literally throwing away any old identity or belief I had around who I was, I decided to be the opposite. I'm like, I'm gonna feel everything to the depth and the core. And it was like this radical Al that was coming alive in me. Welcome back. I'm Sahara Rose and this is the Highest Self podcast, a place where we make spirituality modern, fun, and relatable, so it can actually serve your needs. If you're new to the podcast, welcome. I love to dive deep into these little existential topics that I think about in the attic of my mind and bring them forth into this expression, because I feel like a lot of us have been tippy toeing over the same core themes and patterns in our life. And in this episode, I really want to dive deep into the path of surrender. And before we get into this episode, be sure to hit subscribe. That allows you to stay in the loop for future conversations. This podcast is also on YouTube, so you could be watching us in person, Spotify video, and the Apple Store. So be sure to subscribe to stay up to date with future conversations. And let's get into this one. So let's talk about what does it mean to surrender? We hear this word so much in spirituality and how it makes sense and how sometimes it can actually be something that puts us into a box. I know, weird, right? Another box. And the paradox of not just surrender, but the paradox and spirituality. So we're here in Amsterdam. I feel like I'm channeling the philosophers that have come through before me. And so let's dive into it. So I remember the first time I really heard the word surrender, not just as an English word, but in a spiritual context. I had a friend and she said that she was going to write a book on the word surrender. And this was like maybe 2018 or so. And I asked her, I said, I never really understood what that word meant for me, my life, my family's life. You know, my mom fled war in Iran in a revolution as well as my father. And it was a lot of going against the grain. And I came fourth, first generation Iranian living in the US where I had to really fight for the level of freedom and expression that I have today. So I. My life has not been one of necessarily surrender or so I thought, but rather one of going against the odds. And so I asked her, I don't really understand the word surrender because if my mom surrendered to the war that was happening in Iran, she would have just stayed there and been married off to an older guy and that would have been her destiny. So don't you feel we need to actually have courage and stand for what it is that we really desire? And she didn't have an answer for me. And so I put it away. Surrender makes no sense. Surrender is complacency. At least that's how I saw it of just like people who don't want to do anything, I surrender and it's like, okay, good luck in your life, you know, how are you going to actually create the things that matter to you? So I never jived with the word until then. I found out my then husband was cheating on me and I had no choice but to sip on that surrender tea and I was handed a real big cup of it honey. And I had no choice but to learn how to surrender. I couldn't even learn how to surrender. It was like surrender or live in hell. So I said, spirit, lead me Hallelujah. And I started to understand what all these Christians were talking about. And I realized then, you know, after finding this information out, I had two choices, you know, stay in a relationship of distrust or surrender to the fact that there is something greater happening. I don't know what, I don't know how, I don't know what the story is going to end up looking like, but I am going to trust that God took away this thing from me because there is something so much greater on the other side and that's going to be my story. And I decided that this thing that was the worst thing that had ever happened to me so far was going to be the best. And I decided to just be surprised and delighted by the universe of show me what path you want from me that I was not able to see for myself. Obviously this direction that I thought my life was going to go forth is no longer. And so I surrender to whatever you want for me, spirit. And it was the first time that I really started to see spirit or God as something not just in me, but, like, guiding me. And it's interesting because, you know, I've always been a very spiritual person, but it's always like God is a consciousness within every single one of us. And as I started to take this path of surrender, I was like, there is some sort of greater power that sees things that I cannot. And so I'm going to just completely surrender. I'm going to have no preferences, no agenda, no plan. I am just going to have my ears wide open to be guided by what is next for me. And I decided to just say yes to anything that made me come alive. And that opened me up on the path of surrender that I was on for over a year after that. I left that apartment in Miami with a suitcase, ended up living out of that suitcase for over a year, traveling to Egypt and Trinidad and all these different places. Like, no home base, no apartment. Literally just going from destination to the next, being guided by a source that was beyond me. And every single place I went to, it was like I was meeting a new archetype, a new version of myself. And I started to realize why. Like, why I needed to meet the side of me that needed to die in Egypt and the other part of me that needed to dance and be wild and free in Trinidad and another part of me that needed to go so deep and heal in Sedona. And the list went on. And I started to realize that the universe had plans for me that I could have never planned for myself. And in that process of literally throwing away any old identity or belief I had around who I was, I decided to be the opposite. So I always loved the beach. I said, now I'm only gonna live in the mountains. Like, I used to, you know, always, like, be working and stuff all the time. I'm like, you know what? I don't even care about my work. I'm just gonna live. I used to be, you know, Capricorn Moon, pretty, like, yeah, neutral around things. I'm like, I'm gonna feel everything to the depth and the core. And it was like this radical aliveness that was coming alive in me. And I could have never planned that, predicted that. And I realized the more that I surrender into the unknown, the more magical my life becomes. And at first it felt like, okay, I'm gonna surrender for a little bit. And then I'M like gonna go back to like the plan. Like, I'm gonna sign a lease somewhere and like, then it's going to be the next stage of my life. But I noticed that every single month that I wouldn't do that, that I stayed in the, in the Bardot a little bit longer, that these new octaves of who I was began to come online. And I was like, oh, shit. I would have never met her. And I would have never met her. And I would have never met her. And when I say her, I meant aspects of me, archetypes within me, deities, thought forms. You know, what is a deity? It's a personification of a consciousness. So I was meeting my inner dark goddess, the Kalima, and I was meeting my inner creative, Saraswati, who began channeling music. And I became a music producer and then an artist and created an album. And all of these things that could have never happened if I stayed on the conveyor belt of life that I was in. And so I became a surrender junkie. I was like, surrender and surrender and surrender some more Surrender and surrender and surrender some more and I wrote my song. Trust flow, surrender let go Trust flow, surrender let go. I'm the one I've been waiting for and literally just signed up for their surrender lifestyle. Until more recently. I have found that like anything in life, there is a paradox. So before we go into the other side, I want to take a moment right now for you to acknowledge the virtue of surrender in your life. First of all, let's take an inventory check on you, because I'm here for you. Are you someone that naturally just surrenders? Maybe you can very easily surrender and be like, oh, it wasn't meant to be. So I guess we're just going to see what happens. Oh, I met that person. They were cool. Hopefully we cross paths again. Oh yeah, I really would have loved to do that, but I guess it didn't work out. Like, all good, easy peasy. Like, are you that person? I'm going to call you Surrender Sarita, if you are, or are you that person that's like, I have a plan. This is the agenda, this is how it's going to go. And if it's not in your control, you kind of start freaking out. So I'm going to call you Control Candace. So are you Surrender Sarita or Control Candace? So let me ask you some questions right now. If we were going to take a vacation, let's say we were going to go to Egypt together, which would love to do, by the way, if you're inviting me. So let's say we're going to go to Egypt together. Are you that person that's like, you know what, let's just show up and see what happens. Let's just follow the sparks and follow the mysteries and we never know, we might just get invited into Cleopatra's bath house. And, you know, we can't plan anything because there might be some temples that emerge from the Mandela Effect that we might need to just go into. So let's just buck around and find out. You know, are you that person or are you the person who's like, okay, I've done the research, here's the legwork. I've chatgpt this. So we're going to start at the higher Nile because apparently the water flow goes from higher to lower, which is actually the south to the north. So we're going to actually take a flight down here to the bottom and we're going to work our way up. We're going to start at Philae and then we're going to go down to Dendera and then if we want, we can pit stop over there at Luxor. And you know, you have your plan, you know what temples, you know where we're going to eat lunch every day. You have it all figured out. So where do you stand in the threshold of these two? I'm curious. Are you craving a more feminine approach to spirituality that honors the full you? I'm talking about your inner Embodiment Queen, your Joy priestess, your wise woman, your intuitive oracle. Well, if you love the themes on this podcast, in my Sacred Sisterhood collective, Rose Gold Goddesses, we dive even deeper every month with a zoom Goddess Circle. In these Goddess Circles taught by myself and some of your favorite high self podcast guests, we actually take the teachings here from this podcast but bring them into practice such as mapping out your past lives, healing your ancestral lineage, connecting with your dark feminine feminine, channeling from your highest self, manifesting greater abundance, womb healing, wisdom and clearing and working with many Goddess archetypes such as Isis, Hathor, Saraswati, Lakshmi, Yemaya. The list goes on. This truly is a mystery school that I have been running for over six years now and is filled with hundreds of workshops, goddess circles and practices that support the sacred feminine within you. And we have our very own app so you can connect with other like hearted queens all around the world. So if you're interested in joining or learning more, doors are open right now for Rose Gold Goddesses. Head over to rose gold goddesses.com that's rose gold Goddesses, plural. You could also find that link in the show notes. As soon as you join, you walk through the five pillars of Rose Gold Goddesses, dive deep into your divine feminine embodiment and then have hundreds of workshops and available for you. Plus you'll receive our calendar to join me live in our next monthly goddess circle. I'm so excited to have you there again. Head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com and you can find that link in the show notes. So if you are surrender Sarita, who's just going with the flow, the beauty of the way that you see the world that I really want to acknowledge in you is that you allow for the magic in life. You allow for the flow, you allow for the spontaneity. You see where the journey take. And so because you don't have such a strict expectation of where things are supposed to go, you allow yourself to be surprised and delighted by the universe. So you're like, you know what, I really had no idea what was going to happen here. So this is really cool. We're like in a drum circle in Somalia now. Like, I would have never planned this. Pretty cool. So that is the beauty and that's why I really like you people. My SAG rising, it sees you because magic happens. You're always having these random side quests. It's just so fun and allows for things you could have never planned and predicted. And you're also never bummed out because you never had an expectation that was being like delayed. So everything is just, oh, wow, cool. And this is nice to be happening. So I love that about you. I want to give you a gold star for that. Now, the other side of it is maybe you never made it to Philae Dendera or Luxor Temple. Maybe some Egyptian guy came to give you the tour of the essential oils and you ended up there the entire week. Maybe you didn't know it was going to be extremely hot because you never looked at the weather and now you're just shvitzing all over the place and having a really hard time even standing up in the temple because it's so goddamn hot in Egypt in the summer. You didn't know. No one told you? And so what happens there when we go pure path of surrender is we don't actually create the things that we want to create. We don't see the things we want to see. We are directionless, which is like so fun and amazing. But then it's like, what am I actually here to see and experience and cause and create. And so I went very deep. Surrender Sarita. After my divorce, for a while, magic was happening left and right. I mean, I'm. I'm still more on that side. However, I start to ask myself. I'm like, am I ever gonna write another book? Like, what do I want to make? Like, things were flowing through me again. I made, like, 20 plus songs. I was, you know, continuing to coach in my high self institute, and I even channeled our embodiment certification. So I was still fully in my dharma, but in this, like, oh, wow, this amazing gift is coming out. I was, like, pulling things out of the sorting hat, you know, and then I finally got to this question of, like, okay, if I don't set an intention for a larger project like a book, it's not just gonna happen. Like, yes, a book is being written through you, but you have to also create the container. You need the shiva, the divine masculine consciousness, for the shakti to come through. And so I needed to take a little bit more of a sip of what's on the other side of the control. Karina. Is that what we named her? Control Candace. I think that that was her. So I'll get more into that. Now let's talk about if the control canvases in the room, which, by the way, if we look at doshas and Ayurveda, which is the Ayurvedic mind, body types, the surrender Sarita is super vata energy. It's like flowing, it's channeling, it's creative. And those of us who are very spiritual tend to have a lot of vata energy. Because what is spirit? It's the unknown, it's the untangible. It's floating, it's flying, it's ideas, it's thought forms. It's so, you know, amazing to be in this tapped flow of consciousness. And then. What the hell did I just say? So those of us who tend to be the artistic child, we were creative. We were doing improv, we were doing skits, we were doing karaoke. We were making up dream worlds and writing fantasy books. We were the vata, which is air energy in Ayurveda. So just. I've written two books on Ayurveda, so I'll link those below. Idiot's Guide to Ayurveda. Eat, feel fresh. It's an entire science to go into this. The shadow of this vata type is anxious, scattered, overwhelmed, starting a lot of projects and not finishing them. And then the mind is connected to the body. So in the body, you'll start to Feel digestive issues, cold, dry for women, low hormones, amenorrhea, irregular periods, bloating, gas, constipation. So these are all signs that your vata is actually so out of balance in the mind, but it's trickling into the body. So that's actually what brought me into Ayurveda and made me become an Ayurveda author. My vata was so high, especially in my early 20s. I was a hippie living in India and I was like, like, I'm just here to like, be an old soul, you know, And I needed to channel more of the pitta, the fire energy, which is the more the control, Candace, is to take those ideas that I had, those thought forms that were chosen by my soul to come through me and then birth them into reality. So vata kru, where are you at? Comment below. This is a safe space. Okay, I see you. I tend to resonate with the vops because, like, we're in the flow. We're like, we're vibing out together right now. We're like on a cloud, like talking consciousness. And so our medicine sometimes is. Is the other side, the pitta. Now I'm going to talk about the control canvases. So they are the ones who are very pitta. Fire energy. So what's fire like? Think about the energy of fire for a second. Like air energy, wind, go with the flow. It's unpredictable. You never know the direction of the wind. It's fast moving, it's erratic. Sometimes fire is. Is. It can be erratic, but fire is more sharp. It's either there or it's not. You're not like, is that fire? It's like, oh, that's fire. You know, it's transformative. It burns things down and it moves with direction. Like, fire isn't going to just like, appear somewhere unless air is involved. You. You can see the direction it's going in. So people with a lot of fire energy, it's like they are goal oriented, ambitious. They are often very entrepreneurial. They're often very connected to fitness. They like things that they can track. So it's like, I'm going to do this many reps at this weight. Oh, I'm going up a weight every week and check that off. I'm seeing my progress. They jive on that energy. And so that fire is like, okay, I have one week here in Egypt and so I want to see the things that matter most. I want to go to the big sites. I want to make sure I have the best food. They are time and Energy optimizers. Vata people. We are like, I don't even know where time goes. Like, if you are perpetually late, that's the vata energy. Because actually we're, we're time opportunists, so we always think we have more time than we do. So let's say you have like a meeting at 4:00 and it's 2. You're like, oh, my meeting is not until two hours. You know, I'm. I'm gonna go to the gym right now. Actually. Yeah, that's. I have two hours. I could do a full workout and I still have an hour to get ready. That's like way more time than I even need. So I'm gonna go to the gym now. By the time you get to the gym, it's, you know, 2:15. Okay, whatever. I'm just gonna like get. I'm still gonna get my workout in and finish on time. And then you, you're like, but I need protein, right? Like, I can't skip the protein. So I'm gonna have a smoothie too. And you know, the smoothie person's just taking their goddamn time. And so you're waiting for the smoothie and you're starting to get a little nervous now. You're starting to get a little bit still. You still got like 45 minutes, so it's fine. And then you get to your house, you're like, well, I need a shower. And oh God, what are you gonna wear? And I can't find that shirt. I want to. I thought I mentally chose. I'm gonna wear that shirt. I don't even know where the shirt is. Let me find that shirt of mine. Oh God, it's wrinkled. Do I have time to iron this? I'm just gonna. It takes two seconds. I'm just gonna iron this right now. And you're ironing the shirt. And then it's like, okay, well, just a little bit of makeup. I'm just gonna, like, just some mascara. And then as you're. It's like, okay, well, I might as well. I'm here. So you're putting on your thing. Okay, I'm gonna call, you know, the Uber now. Oh God, the Uber kept canceling on me. Why is that happening? It's so weird. Nicole, again, while I'm waiting, I might as well have some tea. And before you know it, it's four o' clock and you're still home. How did I know that example so well, you know, because we are the time opportunists. And I mean, apparently it's related to like adhd, but I don't, I don't subscribe to that. So that's the vata energy, the pitta energy, the control canvases. It's the opposite. So people like this, they are so sensitive to time, you're talking to them and they're like, okay, well we have five minutes left. They are the people who are early to the airport. They have hours to spend at the airport. Like, God, please, I hope I marry someone like that to help me out. But they print out an itinerary for everything. They know exactly what they want to do, do. And the beauty of this is they do the things that matter to them. They get things done. They're extremely productive with their time. You ask them, how is your morning? They did 20 different things already because they are so directional, like fire. So for them, the shadow side is what is fire? It's hot. They can get hot headed. They can get impatient, they can snap. Like if you watch cartoons and the cartoon character is so angry fire coming out of its head. So that's that energy of like, oh man, I'm so angry I'm gonna erupt. So because they are so regiment in control, guess what happens? They might have made the whole plan, but the smoothie lady is still taking her goddamn time. And now everything else is laid back. And now it's this. You know, as vox people, we don't, we don't stress about it. We're like, I'm late. Oh God, I don't know why this is happening. It's so weird, you know, but the pitta people, they're like, they're now they're stressed. And that actually slows them down too because it's like the heaviness in the body that comes with that. And then they finally get to their meeting. Instead of like being in the flow and being good energy, they're bringing on that density that they picked up along the way. So I find that they tend to marry each other. The vata and the pitta people tends to be people who have like more of that shakti, creative, feminine energy, intuitive creative people tend to be more in the vata. And then those who are more like regimented, disciplined, very masculine energy, structured, organized, tend to be more in this control category. And look, it can really counterbalance one another. But ultimately we are here to have both. We are here to have feminine and masculine Shiva, shakti, yin yang, because we actually can't really have one without the other in its truest form. Because if I am all Creativity with zero containment. The book is never going to be done. The video is never going to be made. The podcast, like, I had to schedule and drive here and, you know, be here to now be in my shakti, to be able to be in my channeled state. But it wouldn't have happened if I just, like, stayed in bed all day or just. Just walked down the park and went with the flow, you know, so you have to create that containment, and then on the other end of the control, you need to allow in that surprise and delay. So this is ultimately the paradox of the word surrender. I have found that when we go through something really big and really challenging in life, a betrayal, a health crisis, any kind of on your knees moment that is out of your control, like your conscious control, it's almost like the universe is teaching you, oh, you have no choice right now but to surrender. And oftentimes the people who get that teaching are the ones who have become very comfortable as control Candace. So I am more of the vata person, but I became in the control canvas category because I was married. I, you know, had my stable career. I kind of was living Groundhog Day every single day. I was, like, doing the same things. I had my routine. I ate the same foods, I worked out the same. The same even routine. Like, nothing was really changing much in my life. And that was. Was very helpful for me to build in that. So when you control different variables, you can start to get, like, really deep into intricacies. So because I knew where I was going to sleep, wake up, eat, work out, do on the weekends, everything was the same and controlled. I went very deep into writing my books, building my business, like, doing these things that required a lot of day in and day out, just time and energy. However, I do believe source consciousness was like, okay, you've gotten as far as you could here and now the next iteration of your dharma, your soul's purpose and what you are here to create in the world, requires you to now get out of that box. And that, I find, is the paradox of life. You know, a lot of us, we talk about these spiritual lessons and truths. Yes and yes. And surrender to the divine plan. Let go of the wheels. You know, see Jesus, take the wheel. Like, see where Spirit's leading you. That is a very helpful philosophy. When things happen that are out of your control, that you can either try to hold onto the sides, right? It's like being on a roller coaster. That roller coaster is going to go whatever direction it's going to go in. I could grip onto the sides, and, you know, my head is like, like bouncing on the side thing and it hurts like hell. Or I could put my hands up, radio on, and just enjoy the ride, because regardless, I'm gonna end up going the same place. And to all of us, we get into these strides where it's like a lot of monotony. That spirit is like, I need you to try on a new Persona. I need you to let that old version of you die. For this new version of you to be formulated through your conversation with the world, I need you to really give up preferences. So I talk a lot about what are preferences. Preferences are so much of what we pride ourselves to know who we be. I like this. I don't like that I do things like this. I. That anything you think you know about yourself is actually not true. Sorry. Your personality is not real. Your personality is the current manifestation of sets of decisions that you have made based on past experiences. So I felt anxious. I don't want to feel like this. So now I have become like that. I felt heartbroken. I don't want to feel like that. So now I'm going to be like this. It's like responses that you have created over time that have become who you are as well. As I get liked when I'm more like this, so I'm going to go towards this validation and. And then even in higher octaves, I like myself when I'm more like this, so I'm going to be more like that. And. And so it's not good or bad, honestly. Our way of interfacing with the world in a way that feels good for us at this time, but it's at this time your personality is ever changing. And if you need evidence, just think about who you were five years ago. Are you that same person? No. Because you've had new experiences, you've had new points of resistance. You have met new people that have evoked different aspects and archetypes within yourself. You've had different remembrances of different past lives and soul contracts and karmas that needed to be cleared. You were exposed to new things. The world has shifted. Social media, like, everything is different. So your personality, which is a response, it's the interface, is going to shift as a result of that as well. And so I find these big surrender moments are our soul's way of catapulting that process. Because, yes, when you are, you know, doing the same thing every single day, there still are minor tweaks to your personality. You know, it's like, you know, what I don't think I'm a coffee person anymore. I think I'm gonna do matcha now. And now I identify as a Matcha person, you know, and so that happens. But it's not like, fuck, I just died. Coming back to life as a new being. When God gives you the opportunity to die, my friend, I hope you take it. Because that is when it's like, like quantum leaping through so many different resistances that you would have eventually come across all coming in the now. And so it just like speed tracks everything. Like, you're put into the black hole of life and it's like, oh, old version of you, that new identity. She was cute. And into the black hole she goes. And who the knows if or when she's ever going to come out on the other side? But she always does, and always shinier and sparklier. Let me share something personal with you that's truly changed my life and I think it can help you too. So women have trusted castor oil for centuries. I mean, the uses are insane. I love putting in my belly button for detoxification, on my eyebrows and eyelash for hair growth. It's my skin care practice and I'm obsessed with Holistic Goddess because they've created a castor oil trifecta kit that isn't just castor oil, but it has other really high quality frankincense, lavender and just the pure organic golden castor oil, which, by the way, all of their castor oils are hexane fragrance free and they smell incredible. But on top of that, they're in these rose quartz rollers, so you can really easily apply it to your skin, on your belly button, on your temples. Because sometimes castor oil, it can be messy. So you don't have to like get essential oil and make your own blend and buy a roller. They've already done it for you. In fact, one of my shamanic teachers, I asked her in Bali, what is the secret to your incredible skin? She's like 65 years old and she said castor oil and frankincense scents, and that is their glowing skin blend. So try your castor oil trifecta kit with my discount and you'll see what I mean. Head over to holisticgoddess.com Sahara and use promo code Sahara to get $20 off. That's holistic goddess.com Sahara using coupon code Sahara for $20 off. And you can find that link in the show notes. So recently I was invited to my friend Lilly Singh's movie gala and I wanted to Wear something form fitting, goddessy, sexy. But here's the thing. It's like you can always see my underwear. I swear, it's. It's always been a thing for me and I didn't really want to not wear underwear for this. And I was so happy because I had just gotten Skim's new collection, the Fits Everybody collection. And oh my God, it is like nothing I've ever tried before. Like, the way it molds onto your body, it literally feels like you're not wearing anything at all, which I love because I kind of hate the feeling of wearing underwear. So I'm replacing all of my underwear with them asap. So I also want to give a shout out to the fact that their neutrals aren't just one skin color, but they really can match, like whether you have more olive skin tone or a lighter or darker skin tone. So it's actually nude for everyone, which I feel is very inclusive. So personally, I love their high waisted thong and also also their bralettes are so cute, especially if you're doing yoga or pilates. It actually can just be a top. So head over to skims.comsahara to give it a try yourself. And after you place your order, be sure to let them know that I sent you there. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select high self podcast in the drop down menu that follows. Again, that's skims.comsahara and you can find that link in the show notes. So you have to surrender. You can't go into the black hole. But like, but can I bring this part of myself? Can I bring that friend? Can I bring this? You have to just surrender into it. And if you don't do it, sometimes, if you don't put yourself into experiences of surrender, God will do it for you. And that's often when these dark nights of the soul, these breakups and health challenges and things that hit you out of left field needed to happen because you weren't doing it yourself. That's why I'm such a huge fan of travel. Because when I'm traveling, all of a sudden it's like, it's not just like my morning routine shifted. I'm in a new country, I'm taking a new walk, I'm eating new food, I'm exposed to new people, I'm having new conversations. Like, every single thing, every variable is different. And so I'm literally becoming an entirely new version of myself. Yes, there are pieces, remnants of the old version of me coming through. But now I'm meeting this Whole new side of myself that. That she was there, but she needed to come alive in the chemical collision that only me and my environment could have caused. So, for example, like, when I'm in Bali and you've seen my solo cast there, it's like I'm in this, like, Bali vortex. It's like I'm, like, by myself with nature. I'm having these really, like, deep introspective epiphanies. Like, like a lot around, like, especially this year. It's like, just questioning everything, going into the void, questioning reality. Like, just like super non. Dual, I would say, is. Is where I've been hanging out in my realms in Bali. And then I go to Egypt and it's like codes, mathematical equations, the temples, our technology to heal the planets. And we are here to channel and bring forth the pyramid wisdom. And it's like. And it's like this very ancient priestess, like, pharaoh energy that's coming alive in me when I'm interfacing with that reality. Because also, I just did this amazing new presentation on past lives that I've never publicly done before. I only teach about past lives in my mystery school Rose Gold Goddesses. But I'm here in Amsterdam at Mindvalley, by the way, and I yesterday finally did my talk on past lives. It was freaking amazing. And I showed, like, clips of myself in Egypt, and it was like these new remembrances, these new aspects of myself. And then when I'm in India, I'm not even creating content. Like, I'm so deep in my healing in India, for me, oh, God, it's like a Bollywood movie for me. I'm healing from heartbreaks from generations ago. Like, it is India's very intense for me. It's very dramatic for me. It's like this. This, like, yearning of the heart. And I don't know why I'm gonna say it's from many a past lives there, but that's the frequency that it brings out. So you've never seen me do a podcast episode from India, even though I was there for a few months, because it's just like I'm not even in a place. I'm not even thinking about a camera there. I'm. I'm just so deep in my feels. Right? So it's a new aspect of myself there. And now that I'm here in Amsterdam, on top of what I've been doing here in Amsterdam, speaking, hosting, DJing, very front facing that, I'm like. Like, time to express all these thoughts that have been bubbling up inside of me. So I share this because if you are someone that feels like you've been in a rut, if you're someone that feels like you've got a little control, canvassing and you're sort of trying to get back to your cerrito ways, you know, I remember when I was young and fun. Like I remember when I was married, I was like, damn, like I used to be a hippie in India. Like I would just go to the drum circle every day and do my poi and I was like writing my book and wow, like that was so cool. Like I miss her. And I thought, like, those days are behind me now I'm an old woman. And God was like, oh no, you're gonna do it again, except in your 30s, hotter and richer. So now I can stay in nice hotels and do the same thing. So sometimes when there's uncompleted business somewhere, you actually get to continue that. And so if you are in a rut, travel, go to sacred sites. Another reason why I brought up the sacred sites in my past life workshop. When you go to these sacred sites, you are having these downloads that can only come through in the unique, like geological like location. Geographical location where that sacred site was like, like there is an intelligence to why the pyramids and the temples, it's all related to astrology. So literally going to that point of earth to that sacred site that was built in the unique to the point of like the angle of the pyramid is evoking a unique musical note. That musical note is evoking a unique consciousness. It's related to a tone, a frequency that gets activated in your cellular DNA simply by being in it. So that is why in ancient times sacred sites were the center stone of our society. Because when we would go into these sacred sites, it was like a spiritual shower. And then all of a sudden, out goes our problems. In comes this higher consciousness that's coming through in the texture of what the sacred site evokes and represents. So you're going to get a different frequency in each pyramid. You're going to get a different frequency in different temples in the Machu Picchu, in Angkor Wat. Like all of these sites have unique frequencies. And by the way, there are sacred sites in every single country all around the world. So if you're in a rut, you need more of that openness. But you're not trying to get universe to and throw you off the ledge again, travel, go to sacred sites, do things that are out of the box. Like if you always take the same walk Take a different walk if you always walk. Take a bike if you always bike. I don't know, Skip, just do something different. That's why I love to dance, especially free flowing dance. I just put on music and I just let my body guide me. And that's what ecstatic dance is, rather than choreography, which is like 5, 6, 7, 8 and more of a masculine consciousness of yes, I'm dancing, but I'm controlling my movements instead getting into a state where my body is guiding me. So I have found if I integrate a surrender thread into everything that I do, then I don't need to be slam dunked by the universe, you know, because I'm listening, I'm allowing in those pockets for that higher level consciousness to come through. So I don't need to be hit over the head with a where the did that come from? But rather every single day I'm going on a walk and allowing spirit to come through. I'm, you know, sometimes I just eat in silence. I actually really love doing that to just let my thoughts go. And I've realized like at first I'll kind of have like, kind of the murky thoughts, like whatever I was just thinking about response to what happened. Just like, like the surface level of like a swimming pool, right? It's like the leaves on top. And then as I'm in silence longer, I mean, for me, I tend to sing songs. So then I'll be like the song stuck in my head. I'll sing that for a while and then I'll get sick of that. And then my mind will start to go and I'll start to be like, what do you think about this? Free will versus destiny. And you know, how like what was I in this past life? And like how is everything connected? And. And now I'm like starting to get to the deeper levels of the pool and I'm realizing it's a freaking cenote and it never ends. And so we can't do that if we don't give ourselves these pockets of silence. So for me, I don't really sit and meditate in like a seated sadhana because I find my vata starts to kind of go crazy. But I'll do breath work, I'll walk, I'll dance. I get a lot of insights at the gym because I'm like moving my body and then I'll start recording voice notes of myself and I'll be like, do, do this download that I had about, you know, surrender or whatever else. Especially right now as I'm channeling my Book. It starts to come through very naturally when I'm. When my body's in movement. So. So if you are in that camp right now, that's our advice. We want to microdose surrender in safe ways so it doesn't fuck up our lives. And if it does fuck up our lives, so be it. Something so much greater. It's never really fucking it up. It's. It's fucking it open for so much more. Now there's two, there's two vibrations here I want to. I want to touch upon because there's actually three doshas. The vata is, you're like, as we talked about, you're open, you're creative, you go with the flow, you're a channel. And then the wind takes you another way. There's that. There's also the kapha energy. That kapha energy is the earth energy. Now here's someone who just. You like your routine. You have your friends, you have your home, you have your gym, you have your food. You have the things that you do. And it's not like you're controlling that. It needs to be this way. You just like it this way. It's like, why mess up the set? There's nothing wrong with it. So my bestie, Rosie has a lot of this energy and she's just like, she's a cancer or mama bear and she's just like, you know, I could travel and do all these things, or I could just like stay home where it's already to my liking. And so the beauty of this energy, kapha, earth energy is it's chill, it doesn't need a lot going on. It values peace, it's consistent, it's stable, it can hold a lot. Like, there can be a lot of chaos in the world. It doesn't take it on. In fact, being around kapha people can feel like an exhale for your nervous system because they tend to talk a little bit more slowly and they pause and listen and they're just so anchored in who they are. And sometimes their voices are a little bit sing songy too, and they're just, you know, living life. It's a very human feeling. So you could feel the shift in my energy when I tapped more into my inner kapha. So we can all tap into these different energies now, those of us who are naturally more kapha. The shadow side of that is just because things are good doesn't mean there isn't more to experience. And let's take away. It's not that it's better or worse. It's just, there's more, there may be more sides of you to experience. Like yes, your home has your food and your spring water and everything and to your liking. But maybe if you went to Costa Rica you would, you know, be blessed by this waterfall that's even springier spring water than anything you've had before. So I feel sometimes with kapha it can be like this trauma response to like I'm afraid also of the uncontrol of the world. But it's a different way of interfacing with that. Like pitta is like, it needs to go my way or the highway. Kapha is like, well, it's just easier to do it this way. Like let's just do what's in flow because kapha also has the water energy as well. So it's like, it's like, let's just do what's in flow. Oh, you can't make it totally cool. Now the beauty of that again is they don't get angry like the pit of fire people, like, they're like, oh, you can't make it. Like it's all good. I'll see you when I see you. And so there's this like ha, release that happens especially when you're interacting with one. But here's the other side. Where are the boundaries? Kaphas have a very hard time with boundaries because they're like, I'll be good either way. Yeah, we made this plan a month ago. Yeah, I drove two hours to make it here to be with you today, but you can't make it. You know, maybe I was just meant to like be here and have lunch by myself today. Like it's totally fine. And that can be that trauma response of if I speak my truth, if I say how this makes me feel, they're not going to like me. And it's not that big of a deal. I got me. So it doesn't, it doesn't matter. I can handle my own disappointment, but I don't want to take on theirs. And so it's a self sacrificing nature of I would rather make sure you're good than share my needs. So a lot of us women have been conditioned to be like this. You know, we're conditioned especially in relationship to be people pleasers, you know, to put everyone's needs before my own. Oh, like I'm, I got ready for this date and you ghosted me right before. You know what, you must have been busy. You know what you said? Sorry, I'll give you another chance. Oh, your canceling plan is last minute, it's fine because I still like you. It's that energy that then continues to become okay with it. And then so the people in your life are like, oh, she doesn't set boundaries. She seems to be unbothered by it. So I can keep doing that. And so if you are that person, you might be like, why is it that people keep changing their plans with me? Well, because they know that you'll just be. Be okay with it because you're on that surrender Sarita vibe of like, you know what, it's all good. But then what happens is you can get disrespected with your time, your energy. Like, if you are someone that's pouring into people all the time and then they don't ask you a single question about yourself, like, that is that wounded Kapha energy. Like, the beauty of the kapha is, yes. How amazing that people feel comfortable to share the intricacies of their consciousness with you. What a gift. And let's create some containment for it. Do you. Do you want to be a coach? Do you want to be a healer? Do you want to teach a workshop on this? Like, how can you actually create some sort of structure for your gifts so it's something that can actually be taken seriously? And it might not even be. You don't want to do it for your business. But, like, I'm going to help this person to this level. I'm going to respond to this text until this point. But you know, some people, they just keep going and going and going and you're like, oh, why can't they take a hint? Sometimes it's, you just need to be the boundary. And I feel like that's something that Kaphas have a hard time is like we're so verbose. And so it's like, oh, now I'm going to have to, like, share how I feel in this. It's like sometimes you just have to be it. Like, you don't need to respond to everything in life. Life. And that's something major that I've learned, I think, from creating content on social media for so long. Because you have people who love it, you have people who hate it, you have people who want this, they want that. Everyone is in their own world. And so you have to learn, like, what is important to me, what is worth my energy. And I have found a lot of times when we're Kapha, we give our energy to the people who are displeased by us, who are unhappy with us, and we make them so important, as opposed to all of the people who, you know, are maybe just saying nothing because they're completely pleased. You know, the friends that don't require much, we ignore. And then the friends that are really, like, exhaustive with our energy, we give them so much instead of actually giving more attention to the people who it's harmonious with. So if you are in that kapha surrendered energy, it's again asking yourself, what's important to you? How can I focus and channel my energy towards something that is sustainable for me? Because the shadow of the kapha that gives, it gives and gives is. It ends up feeling depleted. So, yes, surrender to the fact that life is unknown, people are unknown, different things are going to come up. And what do you want? What matters to you? How can you create containment and boundaries for your coaching business, for. For the workshop that you want to do, for the art that you want to create. How can you show up with the same value that you show up for other people, for yourself? You know, I remember asking myself this question. I was like, if someone like, hires me to do something, I will show up. I will be early. Like, I will go 150%. But when it was for me creating my own content or something, I wouldn't take it seriously. Like, I was only in response to when I was needed by someone else. Like, for example, I never really wear makeup. And so I wouldn't take videos because I'm like, oh, I don't have, like my makeup and my hair done. But then if I was like invited to dinner with my friend, I would put on makeup, put on an outfit, put on hair. And then like, right before that, I would have five minutes maybe and be like, oh, shit, I should make a video right now. Because I finally put makeup on and, you know, curled my hair. This is the moment for me to do. And then I would be like, oh, shit. Like, I have so many ideas for videos, but I had no time. And then I realized I'm like, so I'm willing to get ready if it's for dinner with a friend, but I am not willing to get ready when it's my own videos for my own business. Like, why is that not important to me? I still struggle with this sometimes. I'm going to be honest with you guys. So surrender. And is what I'm trying to say, when life throws you a curveball, that there is no other way, that's when you throw your hands up and spirit is here to guide you towards something else. But microdose the surrender. So it doesn't need to get to that place at least so often. And if you are in complete surrender and flow all the time, how can you focus your energy towards what really matters to you, towards what has longevity, towards what actually passes the test? That's why I love writing books. I'm like, I get to crystallize my consciousness at this moment of time. And so the time that I'm spending on writing my book, it's like, out of everything I've done, my four books are like, the thing I'm the most proud of because people are still reading them years later. And so I needed to not just be in surrender, but instead have that containment which comes with having the boundaries, which comes with being a little bit more conscientious of my time and my energy. And, like, we could have a whole other conversation about being an empath. And not just literally who I'm talking to, but, like, what I'm letting into my consciousness. Like, am I letting in in chaos? Am I letting in all the noise on social media? Am I letting in all the problems of the world? And yes, I'm a human. Yes, I use freaking Instagram and things pop up and I don't choose them all. But I have become so much more aware of the fact that, like, for higher levels of mastery, I can't just, like, be this open brigade of, like, whatever's coming through, I'm just going to take it all in because I am like a sponge. Like, if you're an empath, you are too. And so when your energy is so porous, if you're just taking everything in all the time, it's like, then you're just decompressing. Like, I was just taking things in, scrolling on Instagram for so long, and then just like, whoa, what the fuck just happened? So my invitation for you then is like, more direction. Like, that's why I teach coaching certifications. There's six months long, because it takes that long every single week to really gain mastery over something. And I mean, even six months is just the very beginning of learning how to hold space for people, learning how to ask questions, learning how to listen, learning how to be present, practicing it, getting feedback on it, witnessing yourself grow, watching videos of yourself do it. Notice the stories that you keep telling, coming up with your own own method and message, and then taking out into the world. I mean, these things take time and energy. And, you know, the times of my life that even have been a huge surrender experiment. It's when I just put my focus towards my Dharma, towards My purpose that it was like, oh my God, I feel like I was just free falling in my emotions for so long and it's like it grounded me. So that's why I've created Highest Self Institute. Because I know so many of us are empaths and healers naturally, but we're uncontained in it. We're just, you know, the empath healer for whoever's at the cheese board at the party and hope they break up with their boyfriend for the seventh time. You know, instead of actually taking that towards a gift that can become a message, a book, a movement, something that can actually really change the lives of people. So if you're interested and curious in becoming either a certified spiritual life coach, a certified embodiment coach, a certified Dharma Sole purpose coach, or if you already are a coach or a healer, Soul Business Mastery. These are the four different certifications that we offer at Highest Self Institute. So I will share the link below. I teach all of them live. I am live with you, with my team of master coaches every single week where you can submit questions to me. I do laser coaching. You are practicing, you are put in breakout groups where you're actually coaching every single week and then being coached every single week, which just itself is beyond worth the tuition and it's truly a portal of transformation because the truth is life is going to go like the next six months are going to go regardless. But to have something you're devoted to, to have something that you consistently show up for time in and time again, and then add on the surrender sparkle to it, like get into that surrendered flow state in a coaching session when that person's sharing something with you and you are channeling a message for them. Like I find that is when the greatest downloads come through. When it's like in this structure like temple for the wisdom to come through. That's why we created temples. It's like here's the place. Here's the place for magic. A one on one coach for seven years before creating my first online course and writing my books. And now I do so many different things. But it was from so much experience with one on one coaching that I became very intuitive and perceptive. And you know, the gifts that I use here on the podcast of really listening and being with people and reading between the lines all came from coaching. On top of learning how to run a business, how to set up coaching agreements and the documents that you need and discovery calls and pricing and packaging and offerings and all of the more a Capricorn esque, I'M I'm seven planets in Capricorn. Those things to actually create a business for yourself so you can actually get paid for the damn thing. So it's sustainable. Because before that, it's just a hobby. And we know what happens with hobbies. You get too busy for them. But when it becomes your career, when it becomes the center stone of your life, it's like, oh, like everything else comes around. My dharma. Like, for me, my dharma is like the North Star. It's the siddhi of my life, and everything is to support it. And so when I'm traveling to India and Egypt, Bali and all these different places, it's like, because I'm adding more to the mastery of my dharma. And so, like, everything's a business expense when you're a coach. As long as it's educational. Don't. Don't come at me tax people. As long as it's educational, okay? But that's the beauty of living your dharma is you get to be you full time. There is no separation between the outer and inner you, and you get to be seen for your gifts. You know, Like. Like, I feel like it's really lonely when you have these deeper wisdoms that live inside you that no one gets to see and feel. But to actually be able to share it with other people and to ask people these really deep questions that make them completely shift the course of their lives. Like, to me, there is nothing more gratifying, even if I wasn't paid for it. Like, to be able to hold someone through some of the biggest waves that they've ever gone through in their lives and to be that person who's just the mirror asking questions back to take them deeper into their truth and to see them in their wholeness and their greatness and be with them throughout those three to six months that we're working together, it's unlike anything else I've ever experienced. So I know a lot of you guys would make incredible coaches. The world needs it. ChatGPT. Love it for certain things. Do not love it as my life coach, because it's just a freaking echo chamber. It's just gonna mirror back whatever you put into it. If you're like, do you think this person is a narcissist? It's gonna be like, you nailed it. They are a narcissist. In fact, here's all the supporting evidence. And if I'd be like, do you think this person's like, my soulmate? It's like, I am so happy for you, girl. They're really Your soulmate, it's just whatever you put into it's just gonna tell you it back. Like, it doesn't have its own consciousness. And it can be quite dangerous if people are taking their life advice from a robot. I'm just saying again, don't come at me at AI. Use it for support. Use it for, you know, rambling. But we need coaches, we need people who aren't just going to mirror back what we're saying, but actually see the deeper reason of why we are saying that thing. Where is it coming from? Using their intuition and their discernment and their channeling to take us so much deeper into ourselves. So all the certifications and the wait list are listed below. And if you love this podcast, that is the way to, like, immerse it into your life and inshallah, maybe have your own one day. So thank you so much for tuning in. Please be sure to share this with friends. Be like, do you feel like you are more the Surrender Sarita, or do you feel like you're more the Control Candace? Because I see sometimes you can be a Control Candace, but, you know, maybe sometimes you're more. But like, listen, have these discussions. Let's get, get to know ourselves in these archetypes. Let's have these nuanced conversations around surrender and control and the waves and the ebbs and flow of life. Because what I don't want is for you to listen to this podcast and just go off to the next thing. Like, take a moment to let it sit. Like, really think about this. Where am I in my life right now? Has it been a whole lot of free flow? A whole lot of, I don't know, let's just see. But you're wondering why those, those bigger goals that you've had in life aren't happening. Or has it been a lot of one thing to the next, to the next, to the next? And you need more spaciousness for what's next to come through. So share with me in the YouTube comments or on the Apple review where you're at in this and any other future topics you would love for me to do a solo cast on. Thank you so much for tuning in and I'll see you in the next one. Trust your intuition. Trust your inner wisdom. Trust your inner guidance. Close your eyes and listen. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust your inner guidance.