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You might say, well, when does life get easy? We stop resisting that life is change and that the whole purpose of it is to expand your consciousness. You don't want to just stay on one path for the rest of your life, because guess what, that shit's going to get so heavy and dense that it's going to be wildly uncomfortable. So you're either going to choose the discomfort of expansion or you're going to choose the massive discomfort of stagnancy. And the expansion. One always feels better because you, like, win where you're going. Just flow, surrender Let go, just flow Sur Let go I'm the one I've been waiting for Let go, just flow sooner Let go, just flow soon. Namaste, it's Sahara Rose and welcome back to the Highest Self podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul's highest evolvement. If it's your first time listening, welcome. I love diving into different themes that are happening in my life, which I find really reflect the group of souls that I channel for that I'm connected with. And if you have gone through a very big shift in your life, there have been huge themes of stepping into the unknown. There have been events that have rocked your world, but now you can see that it actually put you on path for a different timeline that your soul could not then yet have fathomed, but ended up being by far better than what you would've planned for yourself. And before we get into this episode, be sure to hit subscribe. That allows you to stay in the loop for future conversations. This podcast is also on YouTube, so you could be watching us in person, Spotify video, and the Apple Store. So be sure to subscribe to stay up to date with future conversations. And let's get into this one. So let me first discuss why this happens, how periods of the unknown are essential for our growth, and how everything that we actually want. That deepest desire that you have in your soul, when you get really quiet with yourself and you just think of like, damn, if I could have anything, it would be that that desire is within you for a reason. And for you to actually become a vibrational match to have that thing, you need to go through a series of initiations. There is preparation for you to be able to not just manifest, but to be able to hold that level of human experience that you are calling in. And I'll be grounding it all in with my own life because I'm living this every single day. I've been blasted into the unknown. Three years ago is really when my Surrender journey began and have been on the unknown diet ever since. And there have been periods of my life that are like more unknown and periods of my life that there's stability and I find in life. The pattern I've noticed is that life moves in expansions and contractions, inhales and exhales. So if we think about the pulse of life, there's always the inhale, which is the taking in, the gathering more, the building, the manifesting, the doing, the causing, the creating, the meeting, the formation, the budding inhale. And also there's a pause. That pause is the setting. It is the new idea to be manifested. It is the sacred pause in between. And it's actually where all of the rest of it is made possible. It's that pause where it's like nothing's happening. I did all the stuff, I took all this action, I did all this healing work, I said the thing and nothing in my life has shifted. You're in that pause. And then the exhale, orgasm, release, the things you're calling in, finally meeting that person, finally seeing that number in your bank account, finally writing that book, finally having that job that you're freaking obsessed with. Finally the friends that you're like, I've been waiting for you guys my whole entire life. It's here, the exhale. And then from the exhale, from that release, from that orgasmic juicy energy, a new idea is formed, a new desire, a new manifestation. And we start to inhale again. And it comes really naturally. It's not like, oh, this isn't good enough. It's like, can we experience even more love? Can I experience even deeper purpose? Are there even more levels of fulfillment for me to experience? And that curiosity that is innate within us humans causes this natural, inhaled. Because if we just live and exhale, live in that orgasmic flow, you lose the energy to even have it, right? Like, imagine if we literally just exhaled for the rest of our eyes, we're just like, we would deflate. There wouldn't be any new oxygen, new energy, new ideas to bring in for that next exhale to happen. So the way the human consciousness is, is like we manifest something and then we're curious about the next thing. You meet that, and now you're dating, now you're getting into a relationship, now you're deepening that relationship. And there's always new levels to be unlocked, right? It's not. It's never just a one and done thing. Just like abundance. You know, you might call in a certain amount of money, you might call in a new career or a certain amount in your business. And then it's not like, and that's it for the rest of my life. Now I'm just here. No, there is more to inhale, there's more to experience. Because now to hold this life needs to throw you more to be able to expand and expand and expand your container. So the biggest thing I see is like why people don't have what they're manifesting is because they can't hold the energetic containment for it. And that energetic containment can only happen when we allow for the natural inhales curiosity and exhales release to naturally unfold. And that's how we create space. And that's how every single breath becomes deeper and that's how every single action becomes more harmonious. And it's not like we're trying to fight against a hill every single time we're doing something. For example, when you start going in the gym, at first it's like, I'm going to go to the gym three times a week, I promise myself I'm going to do it. And it's hard. And you're like, no, it's 4:00pm, I got to go. And you're like forcing yourself. I remember being like that, like maybe in, in high school when I started going and I hated it and I was like waiting for it to be done the entire time. And now it's not even a thought process. In fact, I never have enough time because my capacity to hold fitness is so high now that it's not this begrudging thing I have to do. Just like when you're ending a pattern in, in relationships, let's say you are used to sustaining yourself on breadcrumbs of love and you know, some emotionally unavailable guys. Hello, text every couple days is enough to keep you going in this kind of one sided relationship. And then once you expand your capacity to love, you're like, wait, that doesn't fill me up anymore. And so that thing is no longer a vibrational match. So really what most of us think is a manifestation problem is a capacity problem. So when we have more capacity, we are able to remain in, in times of the unknown longer. So what do times of the unknown look like? So I'll share with you my more recent experience of what's been happening. So for those of you, you guys who have been following me for the past year or more, especially on my Instagram, you guys know that I have been traveling. I, after my divorce I traveled for a year and it was really expanding me into this new frequency of being the artist. And I started producing music and created my album and my music videos. And I was going to places that were really expanding my. My inner wild woman, really breaking free from norms. I was in Trinidad Carnival, I was in Portugal and then I was in London. And that's when I started producing music and and then experienced this contraction of a break in happening in my flat in London which caused me to decide I just need to ground right now. And I came back to LA where I had lived prior to my divorce, got an apartment, my like first place completely to myself, decorated as I, as I always wanted to, all pink stucco. Like it was like my Moroccan mermaid palace and live there for a year. And I was building, building, building, inhaling, inhaling, inhaling, until a year later in sitting with the rose dieta. So that's 10 days of silence when you're working with the plant of the rose. The rose told me, it's time for you to expand your wings. It's time for you to travel, it's time for you to be free. And India has been my greatest teacher. I moved to India. Well, first started going when I was 20 years old, moved there when I was 22, lived there for two years, studied Ayurveda. But because of my work I hadn't been able to spend extensive time time in India. And I was just feeling that nostalgic love that I really felt. Especially my first love was from India and just feeling that purity of the love that we had. I was 19 to 23 years old in that relationship and that purity of that love. And watching this show called Hiramundi. It's this incredible Bollywood show by Sanjay Leela, the most insane outfits. And I'm watching, I'm feeling this love for Indian. It's like it's time for you to go. And so I went on this journey. I was invited to a friend in college's Indian wedding. So it was like invitation granted. And now here I am going to this insane Indian wedding and I decide to sell my belongings and put them in storage and go into the unknown. So I was in Dubai for several months and then the pollution was too much for me and I went to Bali. And then I was living in Bali and then I went back to India again and I spent a month by myself in Brazil, Pushkar, Rajasthan, studying temple dance and just praying and going so deep within myself. And then I was in Egypt, I was invited to teach on Robert Grant's expedition. And I went back to Bali and it was this Crazy journey, but also so much deep inner shadow work. Like, when you are traveling and you don't have a home base, it's something in your root chakra gets massively activated. Because this all sounds romantic when I'm telling you the highlights, but what you're not seeing is. Is the fact that I had, at this point, I had two suitcases with me that is extremely hard to travel with, and different Airbnb situations, which I'm going to share more about, which was the big catalyst. Termites and just massive, like, existential crisis along the way. It's something around not having a home base at all that's, I think, very destabilizing for humans. I mean, I'm a Capricorn as well, and so it would be like, highs and, like, lows. And, like, the highs are like, I'm in this temple in Egypt, and this is so amazing. The lows are like, where am I going after this? Like, trying to just figure things out and things falling through. And it was, you know, really putting me back into this unknown. And because I was living nomadically that first year, I was used to it. My capacity for it had expanded. Like, okay, missed flights, you know, whatever. The thing is, I'll get through it. But I was starting to feel that, like, question of, where's home for me and what do I really want for this next chapter of my life? And I expanded so much into my priestess, into my mystic, into the first year was my Wild Woman book. This was really deepening me into ceremonial work and ritual and the ancient ways. I mean, places like India and Egypt and Bali, the three heavy hitters, they're. They're all initiations in themselves, let alone all three the whole year. So it was a lot. And the best experience and the most transformative experience, you know, for each of those countries, there's a before and after you go to those places. I was sick for one month in July in Bali. I got this really, really bad flu that was, like, way worse than Covid. And in that flu and in that, like, I couldn't even walk, I was so sick, and it lasted for so long. It was, like, just coughing and low energy. And you. I thought I'd be better and it would come back. And it really just caused me to ask these bigger questions. What do I want for this life? And I was just feeling that draw towards home, stability, family, friends, loved ones. And I expanded my container so much that was willing to live. I was at peace with maybe this lifetime for me is just fully being my mystic. Nomadic self. Maybe this is just how I'm meant to live. I'm meant to be on my own in the jungle, married to God. And this is just my path. And I, and I asked God, if this is truly my path, please have my heart's desires aligned with it. Because there's one thing to want something and that's the thing you have. And then you're, you're good, you, you have what you want, you're happy. But my heart wanted something different. I think all of us, when we close our eyes and we think of like, what would the ultimate experience be? And sometimes, I mean, I only, only think about these things late at night sometimes or here on this podcast. And I was thinking like, my ultimate human experience was like being in bed and being wrapped in love, like with my dog and just like imagining my future partner and just being like, surrounded by like a pool of love. That would be my ultimate human experience. And here's the thing. I have this beautiful dog, he's nine years old now, named Chai, and he's been with me since I was 25 years old. And dogs aren't allowed in Bali and there's no way of, of getting around it. They're very strict. They're a rabies free country. So it was in. This place of Bali is so expansive. It's so beautiful. Yes, it rocks your world. But Bali has also always been very good to me and shown me like, bliss, underworld, but also bliss. And I could see the rest of my life in Bali. And I asked spirit, I said, if I am meant to live here in Bali for the rest of my life, please have me meet my future partner here in Bali and have me truly set up my life here. Because I'm open. But what was happening was, I mean, I definitely didn't meet the love of my life. But also visa stuff. I got this visa and then the government changed and turns out that visa wasn't even accurate. So I couldn't even get a visa to stay there. And I was just like, anytime I would think about my dog, I would, I would cry. I would get so sad of just like, wait, am I really just not going to see my dog again? Because I thought I would just not see him for maybe two, three months until he came with me to Dubai. And when that didn't work out, here I am on this unknown journey. But it's like in the unknown. It doesn't mean you stay in that void forever. You're cast into the unknown. For you to like, like, mix up all the pieces of the puzzle of your life. Let's say you had the puzzle of your life set up. The certain way I live here, I'm with this person. This is my routine, this is my job, these are my friends. This is the puzzle of my life. What the unknown does, it shakes up that box. So all the puzzle pieces come apart and then it's like, what image do you want on the puzzle? Because you had this image before. Do you still want that image? Do you still want to build that puzzle? Because you can just like print out a new image and now you have to rearrange a new puzzle, but it can be something entirely new. And so that's when I was asking myself those deeper questions of like, what do I really want to experience? What is this next chapter for me? And it was just love, like the highest experience. And I, I noticed in myself that even when I was in these temples in Egypt that are so freaking awe inspiring and beautiful and revelatory, I was always praying for true love. Always. And then I noticed that when I am cuddling with my dog, I am not trying to manifest something. I'm not praying for something else. I am, I am just trying to milk this moment for eternity. Like there is nowhere else I would rather be than with that puppy. And it just made me realize like how much of our spiritual journeys are about like trying to get somewhere else. When for me, the experiences of the deepest presence I've ever had are love. I can't believe I'm about to cry because my makeup is very cute. And yes, I do it myself. And yes, have you noticed my hair color? But I remember this was the last day that I was in the apartment that I was at with my ex husband when we realized we were going to divorce. I had found out he was cheating on me. And I knew that was the end of the marriage. We were together for almost eight years and I had no idea about the infidelity in it. That's what cast me into this unknown journey. If you're new here. And I remember on one of that last day, it's something crazy about like when you end a relationship, it's like you can actually finally be yourselves. Like there's no more wearing a mask anymore because you have nothing to hide. Like there's no version of you that's needing to be a certain way to maintain the relationship. You are just being so true to yourself. And so him and I were slow dancing in the kitchen where we lived and he said, I'm so excited for you. You get to finally live the life that you've always wanted. You get to travel around the world and be this free mystic like Malaika, who's my shamanic teacher, and just be in waterfalls and never have a family and just live the life that you really want. This like free, free priestess, wild shamanic woman like you get to be that now. And I was like, damn, you're right, I, I do. Cuz one thing in the relationship is I never wanted kids. I was like damn, I guess I, I do get to live that now. And I, and then it hit me even right then. But I know the deepest experience, the most mystical experience that I have ever had is being in love. And as much as I can travel the world indefinitely, love is what matters most to me. Imagine this is the year you finally start your podcast because let's be real, you're having so many incredible conversations with people that you're like, damn, I wish that was recorded that could have helped someone. And it's time to finally do that and hit publish and let your voice be heard so it can make the impact that you are here to make. I would have never guessed in 2017 when I started this podcast what it would become. 55 million downloads later, my best friends made my deepest sense of purpose. This podcast is the most most favorite thing I do beyond any traveling, beyond any business. Like this is the thing that gives me life and it has led to me traveling and it has led to six figure business and it has led to books and memberships and courses and so much more. There is nothing more powerful than long form content because the thing about Instagram is like someone might watch your reel and then a second later it's gone. But with the podcast, people are really listening, they're present with you, you, they're understanding you and you also get to have conversations with the people that you would want to be mentored by. Like every single week. I'm blown away by the thought leaders and experts and coaches that I get to have on my podcast and you can too. So so many people have asked me for a podcast mentorship where I personally guide you in a small group. Max 10 people on how to start your podcast, what to name it, what the thumbnail graphic should be, what type of interviews or solo casts you're going to be putting out, the description of your podcast, and so much more. So this is my first ever six week mentorship, capped at only 10 people, where I will personally be on zoom every single week with you for 90 minutes every week. Plus you can Email me the thumbnail pictures, all the things you want me to review. So you're going to be able to hit the ground running with the clarity that you need to get your podcast off the ground and out into the world this year. So head over to my show Notes, the very first link there, if you're interested, you're curious, you want to get started. It's available for the first 10 people only, but if you're listening to this later on, I'll have a wait list open and I can't wait to support you in the mentorship. And I remember my, my shamanic teacher and so many other spiritual women who have these nomadic, free lifestyles that you guys might look at and be like, that is like the freaking dream. There is this loneliness, like there is this unspoken loneliness of what am I building? There's something so innate, I think, especially in the woman of like, wanting to nest, wanting to build something. Like our bodies literally, like build life. And when we don't have that, that nest, that home, that comfort, that warmth, it feels like we're just in this abyss. And the abyss is very powerful because most women are only in that known. Most women, because of patriarchy, have only been taught your only role in this life is, is family, children, and taking care of the nest. And so there's something insanely powerful around leaving the nest, going into the unknown. I recommend everyone at some point be nomadic, go to these countries where living costs are very cheap, and experience what life is like when you're not just living to work. I really believe we all need to experience that at some point in our lives. And, you know, I began my nomadic journey when I was 22 years old. So I've, I've been in this world now for 12, almost 13 years. And what I've noticed is that as beautiful and exhilarating as it is, when you're just living in that exhale, like I'm at a drum circle, I'm at a waterfall. There's just this void that never is filled. And that void is the void of, of love, of home, of family. Another thing that was really hitting me was, am I just never gonna see my aging parents? And that's the kind of thing like when you start going into that, oh God, like, it is so hard. And you know, I would tell my parents to visit and they're like, we're not going to come all the way to Bali. It's so far. And my mom was definitely guilt tripping me a lot too, of, you know, my brother just got Engaged. And she's like, so you're just not going to be here for your brother's engagement? I was like, no, I'll come back for his engagement. But then I got to go back to Bali, and it was like this thing of, like, I don't know, Bali became my, like, sanctuary, where I was away. I was away from family. So much of my journey since I've. This whole life, like, especially the past 12 years, has been around stepping away from family norms, cultural norms, societal norms, and really becoming my own person. And I needed that. And I feel so many of us, do we need to really decide for ourselves? Who are we? How do we want to live? What type of relationship do we desire? What matters to us? I would not be this version of myself had I just stayed in Boston and followed the norm that I was supposed to, 100%. But, like, these ebbs and flows, these expansions and contractions I talked about. I was in Bali, and I was like, the thing that I miss the most are foliage, trees. Like, trees with leaves that change colors. Like, that just reminds me so much of my childhood growing up in New England. And here I am in this beautiful jungle of perpetual summer. You know, that's the thing. I always wanted to live on the beach and never have to experience a winter or a seasonal change again. And I would just go on Pinterest and look up, like, Vermont and be like, oh, my God, it was so beautiful. And I would. My. My bestie, Christine, was with me, and I would just be telling her about New Hampshire and the deers and what it's like in the mountains. And, like, these codes of my childhood were coming through so strongly, but I was still committed to this new life. Like, I couldn't go back. I felt like if I went back to my old life, where I'm from, like, that's being defeated, you know, Like, I've made it this far. I gotta keep going. And I decided, you know, well, first I was invited to speak at Mind Valley in Amsterdam. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna go to Amsterdam for two weeks. I was emceeing the event. I was DJing, which was incredible. You guys saw some podcasts from there. And so then I was invited to be part of this gala for this magazine in New York. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna go to New York. It was like this path was taking me out of Bali, so I was following. And I thought, okay, maybe a couple months, I'll leave Bali. I put my things in a storage there and I'll. I'll come back. So, like, this unknown of Bali became this known, but then the unknown was actually kind of me now out of Bali. I was like, okay. I thought Bali was like, and final game you won. But okay, here we are. Leaves, foliage, Amsterdam, New England. Like, interesting pathway we're going to here, but let's follow this trail. And then I went back home to Boston, and. Oh, my God, I'm gonna cry. It was the first time I enjoyed, like, thoroughly actually enjoyed spending time with my parents. I stayed in their apartment, and normally it's like, oh, God, I'm with my family. Like that Ram Dass quote of, like, if you believe you're enlightened, spend a week with your family. And it was. It would always. Until. Until this trip. It would be like something triggering, something big would always happen. And I got sick in New York because EMF's city life. It's hard, especially coming out of India, Bali and Egypt for a year. And my parents just sat on the bed next to me and they were like, isn't it so nice that you're back? And it was just such a realization of, like, we push our parents so far away in this journey that we need to take and of becoming our sovereign, individual selves, and our parents just want to love us. And I just started to really feel that of, like, in my mind, almost like I created them, like these demons, you know, like, they were taking me off my path and they're kill tripping me and they're this and they're that. And look, a lot of the things were true and they're how I felt and they're what was happening. But I think as you get older, you just start seeing things from a different perspective. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, all these people do is just unconditionally love me, and there's nothing I have to do or say or it has nothing to do with who I am. They don't even understand what I do. They don't even listen to this podcast. And they just love me, like, purely. And I think there's also something about your parents getting older, and a lot of their conditioning starts to dissipate. Like, my dad's anger, Like, I don't experience it as much. I'm experiencing a new, loving side of him that's so pure that I. I wish my little girl had that experience of him that he is now, because he's 76 years old now. 75. 76. And so he's older, you know, and so a Lot of that, like ego has softened and he's just so loving and so proud of me now and I'm like, what? Like damn, I wish I had this earlier, but here it is and like you never know how much longer you're going to have it for. And so there I am at my parents home and I'm like, oh my God, maybe I just like become a full time stay at home daughter and just stay here. Like this is so beautiful. Like I'm just going to leave now and not see them again for another year and they're going to age so much in that year and just be so different. And so that was just like hitting my heart. And then I was with my dog again for after a year. Oh my God. Like the connection of love that I had for him was, is different now than it was before. I got it when I was 25 so it was like he's my puppy. And during my divorce I would say it was sometimes like I would be so upset, I would be crying every single morning for months. And he was just like my like emotional security blanket and like, you know, there would be so many days in a row I wouldn't see a single person and he was like the only, only one with me and that really deepen the connection. But it was like I needed him. Like he was truly being the emotional support animal that he's signed up to be and but he was like still my dog at there's something different now. Maybe cuz I'm turning 35, I don't know. Like when I see him now, he's like my baby. Like I'm like I put him in front of the mirror and I'm like, can you say this? Like I'm like literally acting like he is a baby and it is, is a mother's love. And when I am with him, it is like I could just be in this moment for eternity. Like I hope that when I die this is where I go. Especially seeing him running freely. Like when he's running on the beach and he's just running so freely and so fast. He's nine years old and everyone who sees him is like, he's like a puppy. I'm like, I know. I bet you when I die and I see heaven, that's what I'm gonna see. And then I started feeling all this guilt of like, how am I gonna leave this dog? Of course my mom now loves taking care of him and it's become her baby too. And I love seeing how much joy he brings my Parents, and I feel like he's helped their relationship. And, you know, he softens everyone he's with. But, like, every single moment I would be with him, it would be like, now I'm gonna leave. But here's the thing that was also happening in New York. I got super sick, and I came to LA and I got this Airbnb, and it was infested with termites. This is the second time I had termites this year. So, guys, wood homes. But I was at this Airbnb, and it was, like, the kind of thing that looks really good when you. And then you get there. And it's like a shack and used to be, like, apparently, like, a crack house that they've, like, renovated. And it was like, the worst Airbnb situation of my entire life. And it was just like, so many things were not flowing. I didn't have a car, and the rental car wasn't working, and I got this other one and got towed. It was like, things were not flowing. And I showed them a picture. I said, there's frass here, which is the wooden, like, stuff that termites leave. I'm like, there are termites here? And she's like, I'm sending a termite inspector. Oh. They said, it's just in the walls. We put a chemical, like, they were refusing to refund me. And I had booked it for a month, and it's super expensive here, especially in Venice. And so I knew there were termites in the wall above my bed where I was sleeping. Like, that whole windowsill has termites inside there. But it was just like, okay, I guess I'm gonna have to get through this. Plus, every single day I was shooting, I was doing things. Like, I didn't have time to, like, find a new place in the middle of the month and, like, try to get refunded by her. She wasn't going to. So I was just dealing with it honestly. And I couldn't see them, I couldn't hear them. So it was just kind of, like, out of sight, out of mind. And then one day I see a bug on the floor and I'm like, okay, maybe it's just a bug. I'm not scared of bugs after living in the jungle in Bali. And then I see one on the bed. I took a picture, put in chatgpt. What kind of bug is this termite? But that day, I had a full day of shoots and work. And so I take Chai with me, and I come back and there are termites crawling all over the bed and I knew if I'm seeing them crawl, pretty soon they will be swarming. And if you haven't seen a termite swarm before, it is like a horror movie. The sound they make, it's. It's haunting. It is actually haunting. And I had my friend Lily Singh's, like, movie premiere gala thing. And so, like, it was the worst freaking timing. I pack up a small suitcase, take chai, go to the gala, and then just book at 10pm, book myself into a random hotel in Santa Monica just so I don't have to sleep there. I come back in the morning, it is a freaking swarm. It was so root chakra unbalancing, to say the least. So I have to cancel my shoot, pack up all my shit, the food, the this, that, like, everything I own. There's nowhere to stay. My money is in two different Airbnbs for a month now who are both not refunding me. And I had nowhere to go. And my grandma lives in la and she was in Iran when the war broke out, actually, and luckily she was able to escape, and so she was back in la. And so for those of you who know my whole story, I lived with my grandma 10 years ago when I was first nomadic. And I came back to the US because I was fighting with my parents a lot around them, not approving of this different path that I was on and not making money. I came back to LA and I didn't have money for rent, and I stayed with my grandma. And I would, like, help. You know, my grandfather was alive at that time. He passed away a few years ago, and I had the best time with them. Like, we would talk about God, Iran, belly dancing, so many things. And so I called up my grandma. I'm like, can I come stay with you, like, for a night? And tomorrow I'm going to figure out a new airbnb situation. She was like, of course, of course. Come, come. So I go and I sleep on her couch. And that night, guys, it was like a medicine journey. It was like my dreams were, like, speaking to me, and it was the termites showing me that your root is out of balance. And you need to go home. You need to go home energetically. You need to go home to the mother. Like, the literal mother, your mother, your grandmother, like, Like Mother Earth, the mother. And I knew, like, even when I saw the termites, I. I'm in communication with spirit all the time. There's no coincidence here. Those termites were sent for a reason. And so in my grandma's building, they have these like, little rooms that you can rent. They. I mean, they're very, very small, almost like jail cells. But I'm like, you know what? Maybe this all happened. So I just spend the rest of this month here in this building. So I have time to spend with my grandmother, who I barely have time to see, even when I'm in LA because the driving takes, like, an hour to get somewhere. So I decide I'm gonna stay in one of those downstairs rooms and spend the rest of the month here with my grandmother, who is alone all the time because my grandfather passed away. And when else am I gonna be able to, like, you know, have a morning tea with her and have dinner with her? And also, I'm by myself, she's by herself. Like, isn't this what families are meant to do? Like, be with each other, especially in old age? So I decide, and I tell her I'm gonna stay in one of these rooms and say she was so happy. So I'm working, running around town, doing my own thing. And a friend of mine, Mia. I've shared a little bit in a solo cast. Her and I had a falling out, and we didn't speak for, like, a year. And she came back into town, and something told me to reach out to her. And we met, and just, like, we're able to let go of what that was. And she actually had an opportunity to get this amazing house in Ibiza for six months. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, I have been seeing myself nesting, grounding a home, and maybe I'm meant to move to Ibiza. And we were talking about we could do Christmas crafts and, you know, rituals and all these things that we love to do. And so I'm like, ah, it all makes sense. The termites happened. So I spend these two weeks with my grandma, and now I'm moving to Ibiza. And in one of my solo casts, I had told you guys when this realization had happened, so it was like, this all makes sense now. Then as I was spending time with my grandma, I was just starting to feel like, I don't want to leave again. I don't want to go for another six months. Like, I don't want to do a ritual to connect to my ancestor when my living ancestor is right here. Like, she's alive right now. And I realized within myself, like in Vedic astrology, I'm a Sagittarius in sun and moon, and I'm a seven in the Enneagram. And I love an adventure, you know, I now with the unknown, I'M like, throw me into the unknown. So I'm like, ibiza, fun, new adventure, dolphins. Let's do it. I've never been. Sign me up. Six months. Maybe we just live the rest of our lives in Ibiza. Spanish guys are so cute, you know? So I was ready for the new life. But my heart, you know, she has a cat. I was like, oh, like, how's Chai gonna do with the cat? Like, okay, maybe Chai doesn't come. And then starting to feel that, am I really gonna leave my dog again? Here's my grandmother and, like, seeing old friends that I hadn't seen in a year. Krista of Almost 30 podcast. My bestie, Rosie Sada. Simone. Like, so many people that you guys know too. Like, like, people that you don't come across often in life, like, those kind of friendships. These are friends I've had for, you know, a decade now. And it was like this place I was just really torn of. I don't want to stay in my comfort zone and come back to LA and give up on this new, now shiny potential life in Ibiza with Spanish sailors. You know, like, things could be amazing here. But my heart was like, do you really want another new country? Phone not working, parents aging far away, not with your dog. Like, you know what that realm is like. Like, that. That kind of unknown has become a known. Like, what do you really want? This episode is sponsored by Better Help. So New Year doesn't require a new you, but maybe just a less burdened, overwhelmed, all over the place kind of you. Do you know what I mean? Mean? But therapy can help us more easily identify what are the things that are actually weighing us down, holding us back from being our truly most embodied, highest selves. Because that is the truth of who we are. It's just all the other things that get in the way. So I love therapy because it's like you can just have these aha moments that put everything into perspective and you see exactly like, maybe it's going on the phone in the morning. Maybe it is comparing yourself to people on social media. Like. Like, what is that thing that's holding you back? So I love BetterHelp because it makes getting matched with a therapist really easy and completely affordable online. So you take a little questionnaire. They match you up with a therapist. You can try it out, switch them at any time with no additional cost and have someone who's really there for you to kind of go through the things in life we all need support with. So sign up and get 10% off@betterhelp.com Sahara that's betterhelp h e l p.com Sahara you can find that link in the show notes. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust your inner guidance. And so I know for a lot of us, when we go on a spiritual journey, it can feel like going back home feels like taking a step back. And so we're so resistant to it. And then some other, like, dark night of the soul thing happened. I think it was like, oh, here's what was happening. I was looking at different places in Ibiza to get there early, and nothing was working. And then the floods happened. And I don't know if you guys saw in that time in Ibiza, like, everything got flooded. And then I started hearing there's crazy mold problems. And then I started hearing that the government of Spain was shutting down, so all of those, like, exact dances and things aren't even open anymore. And then I was realizing the weather is extremely cold and, like, 40 degrees and raining every single day in Ibiza, and no one's even there in the winter. And it was like, wait, your fantasy doesn't even look like your fantasy. It's not going to be summer in Ibiza. It's going to be winter. And, you know, lots are. Lots is. Are. Is changing right now. And I've had mold situations in Bali before, too. And so it's just like, this isn't even the vision I have in my mind that I'm so excited about. And so I told her, I said, I am really feeling called. I don't know where I'm meant to go. I see myself in a home. I see myself around roses. I see myself, like, writing my book, like, overlooking mountains. But I don't think it's Ibiza, at least not now in the winter, like, maybe in the summer, like, maybe later. I'm just not feeling called there now. And so here I am. I don't want to live in LA because of the traffic and everything. Aiza is not working. Bali's far away. I don't know where I'm going to live, mind you. I have a book I'm supposed to write, a business where we close down Highest Self Institute. I'm bringing forces back to Rose. God, so much was going on, all dependent on me. But this big root chakra block of, like, where is home for me? Where do I live? And also just this deeper call of, like, I feel ready for, like, partnership, for, like, family, for roots, for stability. And, like, this life that I'm living right now of I'm in Egypt, now I'm in Bali. And now I'm here and now I'm there. Yeah, maybe I meet someone and it changes everything. But, like, this is not the kind of. It almost was like, you know, the things you're looking for in a relationship are often the things you haven't called into yourself. So when I was thinking about the kind of relationship I want, I was like, I want a man who's like a mountain man. He's so rooted. He's grounded, he's stable, he's solid. He. He just knows where he is and he's there, rooted under the earth. Like, in the earth. Like, that's the level I need. Why? Because I needed that. And so I went up to Nevada City, and if you haven't been to Nevada City, I highly recommend it. It's up north, like, almost California, Nevada border, but it's on the California side. And it is very high altitudes, gorgeous mountains, insane hiking, but it. The town looks like it's from the 1960s, especially there's Nevada City and Grass Valley, and it's like record stores and vintage shops. And the spiritual community there, though, is what is so legit. So my friend Isis Andrea has an incredible space called Studio Omari that has lots of, like, rituals. Jaidev has his Kundalini place there. Like, it is like a spiritual wonderland. So a lot of people, like, economists who. I just made a song with the musical artist. Him and I went to high school together, by the way, so he lives there. Ruby Chase, like, a lot of dope people, and Sky Cohen's as well. And so I decided, you know what? I'm just gonna go up to Nevada City. Maybe I just live in a cabin in the woods by myself in Nevada City. I'm in California. I can have my dog, I can come visit my family. But I'm in nature. I'm like, this sounds like the perfect plan. Everything makes sense. And so it is. Ah. And so I go up to Nevada City, and it was exactly what I needed. Like, it was beautiful. It was grounding. I felt those mountain vibes there. It was quite cold, I will say. Colder than what I like. But I needed to clear my own head. And I was there for two weeks by myself. And in that time, I got to really sit with myself. Because when I'm here in la, it's like, lots of friends, lots of work, lots of distractions. And there I got to really sit with myself and again, ask myself these bigger questions. What do you want? Like, you have created a life where even if I told my family going back to Bali, they would accept it. Like, I could go back to Bali, I could go to India, I could go anywhere on this earth that I want and, like, no one's gonna have a problem with it. Like, that's freaking crazy and cool. Like, I would have killed for that a long time ago. Go anywhere on Earth. What do I want to do? And it was all just taking me back to family, close friends, loved ones, like, that stability. And so after two weeks, I decided I'm going to get a place in la. And even though it has traffic and things I don't like, a lot of the reason why it was bothering me was because I wasn't accepting of it. And I feel things bother us until we just accept this is just a part of this life. And I feel a lot of us spiritual people were, like, looking for the perfect place. Like, we're all in search for, like, Lemuria, you know, like, where's the perfect place we can live with, like, clean water, clean food, like, we're gonna live in community. Like, bring back the tribe and, like, yes, that is being created and even that's gonna have its shadows. So I go back to la. I get this Airbnb this time in Marina Del Rey, which I felt like, okay, maybe that's like a little bit more towards the ocean. It's a little bit more natural, a little bit more slow paced. I'm going to different apartments. Nothing's working. Nothing's working. It was just because of the fires. A lot of people have moved there, so it's like, very expensive. You're not even getting, like, the marina views. So it's just. You're really just looking at buildings. It's very just like. Yeah, like cement, silver. Like, it feels like you're in like a giant, like, conference hotel. No offense to Marina Del Rey, but to be honest, the Marina to me looks like a boat parking lot. Like, I don't get the hype. Like, there's no waves, there's, like, no movement. Doesn't. It doesn't feel like nature to me at all. And so I'm like, fuck. Like, once again, like, where am I gonna live? And tick, tick, tick of the Airbnbs going out. And once again, like, these Airbnbs, they look great on picture. You're there. This one was like, dark as hell. And so I'm up one night trying to figure out what I'm gonna do, and something comes to my mind of like, look in your grandma's building. And so I searched her address and I looked up her address and I'm like, are there any things available in her building? So I go and I look and I see this apartment. It's a two bedroom. And I wasn't planning in a two bedroom. I was just planning a one bedroom because just me. And it was facing the back of the building that I didn't even know the building had a back. And it was all these hills views and the mountains behind and no tall buildings like homes. And it was such a beautiful, expansive view. And so I go there and I see the trees have foliage. They're red and they're orange and they're auburn, exactly like those trees in Bali that I was craving to be around. And what was the coolest of all of when I was staying in my grandma's building those two weeks was every time I would leave, I would leave Chai, my dog, with her. And it made her so happy because she's by herself all day to have this beautiful dog with her. And it made him so happy because he's not alone. So I'm like, wait, I could live in my grandma's building in this gorgeous place? This is more expansive than I thought. I don't need a two bedroom. It was a little more than I wanted to spend. I could afford it, but it was like, whoa. God, is like, actually, your home is going to be this. I'm like, up leveling me for me. And when I'm out of the house, like right now, Chai can be with my grandma and my grandma can be with Chai, and that's great for me. And then I get to have these moments with my grandmother that I will never have again. Like waking up and going to her apartment to have coffee and her coming into my place and bringing me, oh, God, if you guys saw my Instagram story the other day, she seated all these pomegranates for me by hand and like brought it up. And then like an hour later comes up and had cut up and peeled cucumber with lemon and salt and brought it up. And then is calling me. She's like, oh, do you want me to make you this cuckoo, which is this Persian egg dish? And just like the love of the mother. And I was like, I need to move here. Like, I need. I need to move into this building. I didn't know. I didn't know yet everything that would go down. But the building, that unit already had someone who had put in a deposit. But I put on there on Zillow when I applied I said, I would love to live here. My grandma lives in the building. The next day the realtor was like, we already had someone that applied and put in the application deposit. But who is your grandma? I told her my grandma's name. She says, get out of here. I said, why? She said, that's one of my best friends. I was like, what? My grandma has best friends that speak English. Like what? Turns out this woman was the realtor who sold my grandma the unit several years ago. And she lived in that building herself. And they had become best friends. And my grandma would practice English with her and they're even going out to dinner tonight. And she was like, I was there when your grandfather was passing away. I saw how heartbroken your grandmother was. There's nothing that would make me happier to know that her granddaughter would be living here in the building. We need to figure out a way to make this happen. And by the way, I live downstairs directly of that unit. So she tells the person, the landlord, the situation landlord was like this. The granddaughter needs to live here. And so just like that, it happened. They accepted my application. I submitted everything that was needed and I was moving into my dream apartment overlooking the mountain and hills with foliage in a two bedroom that I get to build a high self podcast studio in my second bedroom again and have friends over and have my parents over in the same building as my grandma, where Chai can always use my grandma. My grandma can be with Chai, I can be with my grandma. What the flying fuck? And then I was like, oh, now this all makes sense because I can always go to Ibiza and I can always go to Bali and I can always go to India and I can always go to Egypt. But do you know what I can't always do? Be with my 85 year old grandmother. And for those of you who lost a grandparent or have lost a parent, I'm sure you're feeling me right now. Those are the things that we can't bring back. And both of my grandparents died and the my other grandmother and my grandfather. So she's my only remaining one left during coven. So I wasn't able to be there when they passed and I wasn't able to be there. We weren't even able to have funerals for either of them. And just like that, like two people I grew up with, they both lived until 94 were gone. And there's no more stories from them anymore. There's no more experiences, there's no more questions I get to ask. Like the story of them is done in my life. And when I was on the medicine in Peru a year and a half ago, the biggest thing that I got was that we are our four grandparents put together. Like, I want you to think of your paternal grandfather, even if you've never met him, your paternal grandmother, your maternal grandfather, and your maternal grandmother. Think of each of them and the qualities they have. Their light, their gifts, their curiosity, and also what they struggled with. If you put those four people together, that is you. My paternal grandfather, whom I never got to meet, was an entrepreneur and a businessman who was so intelligent, and I received that intelligence. My paternal grandmother was spunky, vivacious, beautiful, full of life, always joking and laughing. My paternal grandfather just wanted to know who God was and have deep philosophical conversation. He loved to dance, and he cared so deeply for animals. And my maternal grandmother, who's the last one left, who I'm now living in the same building as, who if you guys were at my Dharma Coaching Institute sending event, I brought her on stage to come speak, and she always says, if I had the opportunity to go to school, I would be doing exactly what you're doing right now. And so often in life, when we're young, we're chasing our own lives, like, that's how we're meant to be. And there's no guilt around that. Like, we just want to get older. We want to create things of ourselves. We want to leave the nest. Like, that's part of the design. And then as we get older, we realize, like, all those moments that we'll never have again. And if we're lucky enough, we can choose to have them now. And so I heard the statistic of, realistically, you're going to see your parents 15 more times in your life. And if you think about it, like, how often do you see your parents? For most of us, it's twice a year, maybe for Thanksgiving holidays. And so if you're living on the other side of the country or. Or another country, or even just far away, like, twice a year, how many more years do your parents have to live? We don't know that. Could be 10 years, could be more, could be less. And so, realistically for adults, the stat was that we will see our parents 15 more times total for the rest of our lives. And I don't say that to scare you, but just to awaken you that you're going to have questions later on in your life that you're not going to be able to ask. And as we get older, it's less about trying to have this, like, healed Relationship with our parents that we've always wanted. I remember so much of my 20s was, like, praying that I could have this healed relationship with my. My dad, especially where I could be myself and he would understand me and this. And as you get older, you're like, what a gift to just be able to speak to them and let's not try to project, manage how it's gonna go. Like, what a gift to be able to hear their voice. Like, if your parents have passed or you know someone, you'll be listening to those voicemails they left for you for the rest of your life. And those are things that you can't get back. Those are things you can't just buy a flight and move to a country and just be in. That's now. And so I feel for me, in these years of expansion, in these years of becoming my own person, the next expansion for me is to be with my family, to be with my loved ones. To not grow just horizontally, which is that movement and expansion and growth externally, but to grow more vertically, to deepen my roots, to deepen my sense of self, and to not try to change anyone in my family, but just to appreciate the fact that we are alive at the same time. You know, every single time I look at my grandmother and my dog together, I remind myself, today is a good day because they are both alive. Because there is a day not too far from now that they won't be. My dog is nine. My grandma's 85. In a few years, those two beings that I love so much won't be here. And so let me enjoy them now. Let me enjoy not just a new life that I haven't yet built, but the life that I have, the life that I'm in right now without trying to change a thing. And so I feel so grateful, because while most people see their parents 15 more times in their lives, I. I plan to see mine so much more. I get to see my grandma, like, three times a day. And, like, now I get why families historically have lived together, you know, before. I remember, like, in India with my. My first college boyfriend, his whole family lived in the same house in Delhi. And I was like, whoa, that's crazy. Like, there's 16 people living in this house. How do you guys do it? But do you know what I loved about that chapter? Like, we had dinner with his grandparents every single night. And his grandparents were who first taught me about the Ramayana. And I see why now families choose to stay together. And that's what I really love about all These different ancient cultures, they. Every single family, whether you're in a Jewish family, Chinese families, Persian, Indian, Latin, like, they don't discard their elderly and put them in an elderly home. Like, one thing I am so proud of, of myself is like, my grandma will never have to be in an elderly home. I will be the one who is holding her hand until she passes. Like, I will be the one that God forbid anything happens to. I'm in the building to help. And I can only imagine what an exhale that feels like for her. Because when people get old, they're so scared they could fall, they could hurt their hip. And, like, what a gift that we can offer and also receive by being in their presence, by hearing their stories, by gaining, like, the wisdom of a life and by receiving their love. Like, she honestly gives to me even more than I. I give to her. I hope to give to her as much as she has to me. Like, this is a woman who helped raise me. And so as I get older, I'm like, multi generational homes are the shit. Like, how beautiful. Like that your grandparents and the parents and the cousins and the relatives are all around each other and they're helping raise the children. So the children are learning from these different perspectives. And it's not just this nuclear family model. Like, this nuclear family. The word nuclear, it's toxic. It's making us sick because everything is falling on the mother and father and mostly the mother, and she's needing to do everything. And like I've talked about in different episodes, like, it is driving women insane. And I'm realizing more and more we need the tribe. We need multi generational homes. We need not just creating our utopia in another country, but to go back to our places of origin and build them there, to build grassroots communities, not just in this faraway land, but like right here in the big cities. Because that way it's not like, oh, you got to be in the city and you're going to be in your apartment by yourself eating dinner with Netflix on TikTok for the rest of your life. And that's what city life looks like. Or you're in Bali, but with. You're with a bunch of other people who are super far away from their families too. And everyone's kind of like in a dark night of the soul. Like, no, these aren't the only two options. I know for myself at some point, I don't know how, where, when. I will be living in community, I will be living on land where we grow our own food, where we Sustain ourselves, where we use solar panel, where we have our own water wells, where we raise the children together as a tribe. I don't know how, I don't know when, I know there are products being built, but I know that is how I will experience life in this lifetime at some point. And I think many of us are feeling that call. And so right now we're, we're like preparing for it. Be with your family of origin, because you don't know how much longer you have of that. We don't even know how much longer we have in these cities before we're going to be required to have microchips to be able to function. And so that's why I came back to LA as well. I'm like, I don't know how much longer I will be able to be in the city because I do believe there is a split happening. And, you know, there's going to be more and more of the Matrix world with the microchips and the vaccines and all of that. And then there's going to be those of us who choose the more natural path. And yes, there are communities that are being built to integrate the two, and I hope and desire that. But if it's a split, I'm going off grid, you know, and what I hope to take is as much as I can from my lineage, from my roots. You know, I want to speak Farsi more. You know, a huge vision that I saw for myself was, like I told you guys, in my medicine journey, I met my future children and I didn't want to have kids. And, you know, even when I was back in Bali, I was back to like, maybe I don't have kids in this lifetime, but ultimately I'll only know when I know. But to be able to pass along, especially my culture, my lineage, the Zoroastrian roots to me is one of the highest siddhis that I can give to this planet to be able to create a new fabric of human that has never existed before, especially in my lineage. And so I feel many of us right now, we're feeling this bigger call, like we are being prepared for something so much bigger. And so we're put into these different nuanced chapters. Like I am now in this deep chapter of family of grounding and roots. Your chapter may be expansion. Another country, someone else's chapter might be this. And it's perfect. And there's a rhythm and there's a flow and an organization to it, because when these bigger planetary shifts happen, you will have had the unique experiences that your soul needed to be completely prepared from this chapter to move on to the next. Whether it is moving off grid to communities, whether it is, you know, being a space holder for these new paradigm communities that we're in, whatever that looks like, you are in this preparation process for it. And it only makes sense when it's happening. And so I hope all of this has shown you like I struggle, struggle myself 100%. I don't think y' all thought that wasn't happening. But we're, we all struggle. And the unknown can feel gnarly af. And when something unknown becomes known, the unknown may be something that was used to, that used to be familiar to you. And like going back to your family and roots could be the new unknown. And if that's all you've known, then getting completely out of them is the unknown. But we are always being cast into what is going to expand our soul, what is going to open us up to new experiences that our soul needs. Because we are, we are life, experiencing all textures of life. And we are all different pieces of consciousness that are expanding out into fractals of space, each here to have unique human experiences that only our souls quadrant could have to bring back this hodgepodge of experiences into collective content consciousness. So me having these experiences here are touching you guys, and you guys are having certain experiences that are touching the people you do. And they're all being put together in this quantum pool of consciousness. And that is how consciousness expands. That's how, if you've noticed, guys, the past five years, time is becoming much faster. Things that used to take an a year take a month. Things that used to take a month take an hour. You're noticing that because conscious is expanding, we're moving up dimensions, you know, even beyond 3D, 4D, 5D, it's, it's even faster than that. Schumann frequency is constantly off, off the charts. It is beyond measurement. Things are happening so quickly because there are so many different experiences of consciousness happening that what consciousness is, the algorithm of consciousness is growing so much. Like, think of CHAT GPT. Like how much better has CHAT got in the past year? Because all of us are having our own conversations with chat, billions of people. And so CHAT is having all of these billions of experiences, which is making the algorithm of chat more intelligent. That is like consciousness, we are all having these 8 to 9 billion human experiences that is making the algorithm of consciousness more intelligent and nuanced. And so that's why things that used to take a year only take a month and things take A month can only take a day, an hour. And depending on where you're at in the consciousness, time will be speeding up more. We used to say change takes time. It's not true anymore. Change actually happens in a moment, in a realization, A realization that used to take you, like, lots and lots and lots of pushing to finally admit to yourself can happen from, like, one thing. Like, those termites were sent to me for a reason. Because overnight I went from, I'm gonna go to Ibiza and, like, now start a whole other life. And, like, repeat that pattern to, like, no, you're going to your grandma's and you're grounding, and you're actually you. You say you want family. You say you want love. Love is right here. It's not somewhere else. It's not something you have to find. It's right here. And it's been here all along. It took you traveling around the world to realize it. Thank you, termites. God will send you what you need, so you listen. And it will have to be as big and bad as it needed to be for you to pay attention. There is nothing else that would have made me stop my nomadic traveling ways. Then having my place being broken into in London, that stopped me. And now termites, Apparently, I need some big little pattern interruptions here. But because I was so in that karma, that path was so treaded and paved. It's like a hiking trail that I've treaded a million times of Life's not working. Travel the world. I paved that path so deeply. It was a path that really served me. So I knew it. Things don't work. Leave. Go to another country. And universe is like, you've already mastered that path. You are really good at blowing your life up and starting a new one. You've excelled it. We give you an A plus time for you to take this completely unpaved path that you can barely see any pathway. There's tons of sticks along the way, and you're going to have to use a machete. And that is the path of going home. That is the path of being with your family. That is the path of not traveling. That is the path of being exactly where you are. And I'm like, what about Egypt? And then that path will become tread, and spirit will give me another one and another one and another one and another one. And that's just how it goes. And then you might say, well, when does life get easy? It gets easy when you stop resisting that. When you stop resisting that life is change and that the whole purpose of it is to expand your consciousness. You don't want to just stay on one path for the rest of your life, because guess what? That shit's going to get so heavy and dense that it's going to be wildly uncomfortable. So you're either going to choose the discomfort of expansion or you're going to choose the massive discomfort of stagnancy. And the expansion. One always feels better because you like where you're going. It's uncomfortable, but you like where you're going. Whereas the stagnancy one is uncomfortable, and you don't like where it's taking you. And it gets tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter. It's a shoe that was a little bit too small that you kept walking, and now it's blistering you. Now your feet are bleeding. That's what happened. When I first got my pair of Ferragamo flats, I got this modeling job in college. I spent it all in the Ferragamos. $600. I was like, this is a great use of my money. And my little bunny and feet were bleeding, guys. I was like, well, these are Ferragamo. Like, I need to stick to them. And I was like, putting band aids. I was trying to make that work. Never did. I think I sold them to a thrift shop. I hope I did. And so those are the kind of things that when it's uncomfortable, you keep going in that direction, your feet are going to bleed. I think I had a scar from those shoes, actually, because I kept wearing them, unfortunately, even the bleeding, I was like, you know what? The blister will heal. I had, like, a scar on my toe for a very long time. And so most people live like that. Like, most people are like, this life sucks. I don't like where it's going. It's scarring me. But, like, stick to it. No. Expand, grow. Do that thing that's uncomfortable. You like the direction it's bringing your soul. It's in alignment with your heart. Heart. So coming back to, how do we really be happy in today's world when our heart is aligned with our actions? Because if my heart is saying, I really want to be in a pool of love with family and the deepest love and my pets and my future children, But I'm just like, maybe it's over here, maybe it's over there. It's not in alignment. And so what does your heart want? And how can you connect it with your action, even if it's uncomfortable? And then the unknown will be that pathway to prepare you to actually have beyond that thing. If you told me last year you're gonna be moving into your grandma's building, I'd be like, what, me? No way, hunty. I'm going to Dubai. No way, sir. But here I am in, in fact, more fulfilled than I would have been again, thinking that happiness is somewhere else. And don't get me wrong, I still have travel. I'm still gonna travel, but I think what I'm not going to do moving forward is live like that and not have a home base. I feel like those days are behind me, but who knows? But guys, to have my own apartment with my own things and setting up altars and having my supplements out and my jewelry in a place I'm like, this is orgasmic. Like, this feels so good. Like, how am I ever gonna go back to living out of plastic bags in a suitcase? I don't even know. Like, in a way too, for my nomadic girlies, when you have a home base, you can travel places that you normally wouldn't because you wouldn't want to live there. So when I was living in la, I went to Guatemala for two weeks studying Mayan womb training. Training. I wouldn't live there, but I traveled there because I didn't have to bring all my life belongings. I got to just go for two weeks and come back. That's available, by the way. I know. Mind blowing. I know. And so sometimes we need these shifts to see life in a way that we just wouldn't have before. So I hope wherever you're at in the unknown journey, it's taking you deeper and deeper towards your heart's desires. I hope my life experiences are personifying this experience because sometimes I feel like spirituality can be so meta and it's like to see someone walk this path in real time can be very helpful. And I'm always sharing what's latest on my Instagram stories at I Am Sahar Rose, so be sure to follow me there. Join my community, where I host monthly full moon goddess circles with temple, dance, breath, work, ritual. And we have breakout groups where you can connect, meet other podcast listeners, soul sisters, people who get you people are on this path. Like. Like the kind of person who would listen to this episode in its entirety. Like, those are the people you want in your life. Like. Like your future besties aren't on freaking bumble bff. No offense, but that's just a hodgepodge of people. Like they. You need to curate them in places where they would be hanging out. And Rose Gold Goddesses is one of those places if you resonate with this. So the link to join Rose Gold Goddesses is below. I'm offering now just to join the monthly temple circles on their own without the whole community for just 29. So you can join be part of the next Full moon circle. We'll have the date and everything listed below monthly.rosegoldgoddesses.com and so you'll be able to just join us for that circle and be part of the ritual and breakout groups. I'm leading every single one now. Now that I'm stable and ground and have Internet, I'm gonna be guiding every single one. So I can't wait to see you and connect with you deeper there. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening. Leave a comment this was like a heartfelt, emotional one. I read every single YouTube comment. So let me know. Like give me time stamps. What were you thinking? What are you feeling? Let's talk. Love you guys and I'll see you in the video next Next Episode Trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, Trust your inner guidance, Close your eyes and listen. So trust your intuition, trust your inner wisdom, trust your inner guidance, close your eyes and listen.