Getting Dinged with Paul Virzi | History Hyenas

Summary

History Hyenas – "Getting Dinged with Paul Virzi"

Release Date: August 28, 2025
Hosts: Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas
Guest: Paul Virzi

---

Episode Overview

In this riotous episode, comedians Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas welcome fellow comic Paul Virzi to dive into the heart of Italian-American life, neighborhood dynamics, intermingling cultures, and the subtle (and not-so-subtle) markers of status and belonging—namely, "dings" (neighborhood roughness and minor dangers), chains, tattoos, and where you choose to live. The episode is a comedic exploration of ethnic pride, family, history, masculinity, and everyday absurdities, peppered with hilarious anecdotes, roasts, and brilliant riffing. As always, the boys veer from pure silly to surprisingly thoughtful, blending history, culture, and locker-room banter.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Paul’s Chains: The Art & Science

• Max Chains Debate
  • Paul rocks two chains, considering a third:

    “The max was always two. …But if one is thin, you could go three. …More than three is a problem.” – Paul (02:29)

  • Chris and Yannis lovingly roast the “bishop” look, saying it’s both Italian and ecclesiastical.
  • Chains as a statement: Italians know how to dress; pulling them outside a hoodie is intentional.

Tattoo Regrets & Superstition

• Chris considers removing tattoos, but hesitates on religious symbolism:

  "I gotta get the neighborhood removed and I gotta get the scripture removed... I think anything that has to do with JC's Got to Stay." – Paul (03:57)

• Jokes about religious omens, crosses, and family expectations.

Raising Kids, Church Attendance, and Football Season

• Paul’s son voluntarily goes to church—prompting pride, skepticism, and jokes about Mystic River-style guilt.

  “If Jalen Brunson’s on TV or the New York Football Giants are on tv, you know, JC can wait. He’ll go to a late mass.” – Paul (05:10)

• They riff on church losing numbers due to NFL scheduling, suggesting integrating football viewing with mass (06:01–06:14).

Moms as Saints and the “Fast Pass” to Heaven

• Chris’s mom attends church constantly, ensuring his ticket to heaven (07:05):

  "She’s getting the fast pass to heaven. …She’s bringing her boy right up with.” – Paul (06:52)

• Lighting candles in church for people; described as “saint on earth” (08:46).

Neighborhood, Divorce & Bet-Settling

• Chris’s parents’ long-ago divorce still resulting in fights over fractions of a house:

  “My dad’s still trying to get in the divorce settlement, 1/8 of the house, and my mom’s protecting that 1/8.” – Chris (09:02)

• Yannis jokes: “Your dad wants to put that 1/8 on the Jets!” (09:18)

Male Etiquette: Food in Teeth & Bad Breath

• The group discusses the obligation to tell a friend when they’ve got something in their teeth, but draws the line at bad breath, which can be a deal-breaker.

  “For me, it’s really hard to, like, be around that person ever again.” – Paul (10:44)

• Jokes about the generations-long impact of ‘fumes’—with Chris turning it into a riff about pheromones and love:

  “I believe love, falling in love is chemical. ...If you smell the fumes, it’s nature saying, that's not for you.” – Chris (11:33)

---

Ethnic Stereotypes, Dating, & Hygiene (11:11–16:00)

• Ethnic Tolerance for “Fumes”
  • Riffing on the idea that sea-faring cultures are less bothered by certain smells, but everyone’s got their own.
• Waxing and Cultural Exchange
  • The arrival of Brazilian waxing in the U.S. is hailed as revolutionary.

    “The Brazilians brought jiu jitsu, and they brought the wax of America…” – Yannis (15:12)

• Jewelry: Italian vs. Black Culture
  • Does heavy chain-wearing come from Italian or Black communities? Paul’s dad, a jewelry fanatic, would say there’s no max, and calls thin chains “chicken wire” (16:05–16:37).
  • His dad’s lifelong jewelry spending may have cleared a million dollars.

---

Confidence & Swag: Athletics, Jiu Jitsu, and Zuckerberg (18:10–21:09)

• Discussion shifts to how physical prowess (e.g., Jiu Jitsu, basketball) transforms personal confidence—leading even “nerdy” Mark Zuckerberg to a “glow up” punctuated by jewelry (19:05).

  “Once he started doing jiu jitsu…he realized he could make you tap out, he put a chain on.” – Paul (19:23)

---

Asian Women Admiration and Cultural Fantasies (22:00–26:19)

• Joking about American men’s attraction to Asian women—particularly the stereotype of subservience. Chris escalates:

  “What you really want... is a North Korean. …If you can get your hands on a relatively hot North Korean...you’ll never…” – Chris (22:46)

• Fantastical (and problematic) humor about “domesticating” a North Korean bride, interlaced with riffs about ultra-rarity and the “original Pokemon card” analogy (22:59).

---

Immigration, Cultural Adaptation, & Tech (24:34–26:19)

• ChatGPT and translation tech will soon make communicating with new immigrants (and even dating non-English speakers) far easier, which Chris welcomes as a game-changer (25:00).

---

Neighborhood “Dings,” Safety, and Upward Mobility (29:43–34:26)

• “Dings” are code for local trouble—rough edges, minor crimes, city grit. As you move further from the city, the fewer “dings” you encounter.

  “You know what? A couple of dings, like, you know what I mean? Like city... The further north you go…just, you get less dings…” – Chris (30:10)

• Chris debates moving to a safer, more sanitized suburb but doesn’t want to disrupt his kids’ schooling. The right suburb has “no dings,” pristine conditions, and an auto body shop for the occasional rare “ding.”

---

Small-Town Police Relations & Italian Hospitality (35:41–40:47)

• Paul and Chris trade techniques for currying favor with local police: bringing pies, cookies, rainbow cookies, and canolis after a party or fireworks, as a peace gesture and de-escalator.

  “If the cops come, we buy time…have a set aside rainbow cookies, canolis and coffee. …We ask them this.” – Paul (36:23)

• Riff tips for getting out of tickets: overt displays of pro-police sentiment, honesty, and even surreptitiously flashing MAGA hats.

  “If you let the officer know you don’t mind Donnie T…they’re probably going to be good to go.” – Paul (39:21)

• Yannis on the universal effectiveness of “just having pastries in the car” (41:50).

---

Political Leanings, Identity & Cop Culture (41:42–44:23)

• Banter about Republican/Democrat ratios among cops, skepticism about official polling, and the reality of “blue-collar” voting shifts.

  “You know New York City is in bad shape when a bunch of Italians are walking around…yo, Adams better win.” – Paul (41:06)

---

Sicilian & Greek DNA, Ethnic Identity, and Tribal Pride (44:28–48:51)

• Paul recounts traveling in Greece, being instantly pegged as “same face” by Greeks and Sicilians, referencing “Una facha, una raza” (“one face, one race”).

  “There’s a...Una facha. It means one face...the Greek Sicilian face is basically the same.” – Paul (45:07)

• Sicilian DNA is “very close” to Greek, sometimes with traces of Arabic and others due to centuries of migration and conquest.
• Jokes about how DNA tests could upend ethnic pride:

  “If my father…found out he was 90% Sicilian but, you know, 10% Arabic? He couldn’t handle it.” – Paul (47:34)

• Chris: Tribal identity runs all ways—no one wants to be told they’re something else, regardless of background. (48:41)

---

History of Sicily: Conquest & Cuisine (49:41–65:36)

• Byzantine and Muslim conquests shaped Sicily—culturally, genetically, and gastronomically.
• Chris and Paul recount their ancestral towns in Sicily and Greece, linking personality traits (laid back vs. aggressive) to geography and history.
• Discussion of traditional Greek and Sicilian lifestyles, especially tied to fishing, the sea, and food.

  “I’m a Sicilian Greek kid that likes to maybe be by the water and just be left relaxed.” – Paul (52:58)

Mediterranean Diet & Food Rankings

• Heavy praise for Greek, Italian, Japanese, and Middle Eastern cuisines.

  “Greek food. My cholesterol came down about 80 points because I switched from Italian…Greek to one, Italian to three.” – Chris (64:48)

• Ranking German food as “underrated” but acknowledging it can’t hang with the top Mediterranean cuisines.
• Desserts: German desserts (strudel, chocolate cake) get their due.

  “German desserts—amazing. German chocolate cake, pastry...” – Chris (63:44)

---

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On church-going mothers:

  "She’s getting the fast pass to heaven. ...She’s bringing her boy right up with.” – Paul (06:52)

• On ethnic DNA:

  “If my father, if you told my father. ...you're 90% Sicilian, but 10% Arabic? He couldn’t handle it.” – Paul (47:34)
  "It’s just tribalism ...everyone just wants to be what they think they are, right?" – Chris (47:41)

• On neighborhood upgrades:

  “I’m starting to get to the point where the only ding I want in my house is my North Korean bride.” – Chris (32:33)

• On bad breath:

  “There was a comedian. ...had bad breath years and years ago. ...Ever since then it ruined. I can't be.” – Paul (10:44)

• On bringing treats to police:

  “...When the fireworks are going to off, you have a set aside rainbow cookies, canolis and coffee. So if the cops come, we buy time.” – Paul (36:23)

• On Mark Zuckerberg’s transformation:

  “...as soon as he realized he could …make you tap out, he put a chain on.” – Paul (19:23)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:40–03:20 – Chains, Italian fashion, and pulling off three chains
• 03:42–04:43 – Chris on removing tattoos, omens and family
• 06:36–07:32 – Moms at church: the “fast pass to heaven”
• 10:39–11:33 – Bad breath, ‘fumes,’ and hereditary smells
• 15:12–16:19 – Brazilian waxing arrives in America
• 18:10–19:23 – Confidence, Jiu Jitsu, and ‘glow ups’
• 22:00–23:32 – Fantasies about Asian women and North Korean rarity
• 29:43–32:33 – Suburban “dings,” transitioning from city grit
• 35:41–36:44 – Gifts for police, canolis and cookies as de-escalation
• 47:34–48:41 – DNA tests and ethnic identity upheavals
• 52:58–54:44 – Laid-back ancestry, personality, Sicilian/Greek coastal life
• 63:27–65:08 – Food rankings and Mediterranean diet praise

---

Conclusion

The episode blends razor-sharp ethnic humor with thoughtful commentary on family, culture, class, and belonging. From fashion and local politics to the Mediterranean diet and the utility of cookies in traffic stops, the conversation is a rapid-fire tapestry of relatable riffs and observations. Paul Virzi fits seamlessly into the Hyenas chaos, dropping gems about identity and neighborhood nuance, all while sporting those signature Italian chains.

---

Paul Virzi Plugs (68:58)

• New podcast: Paul’s Best Podcast (launching September)
• Special: Reasonable Man (YouTube)
• Upcoming tour dates: Toronto, Edmonton, Newtown (CT), Algonquin Arts Theater (NJ), Texas, California
• More info: paulvirzi.com

---

For more wild history-fueled discussions, subscribe and check patreon.com/historyhyenas for bonus content and the infamous "fan names" feature, where the funniest/most unhinged name wins weekly glory.

Transcript

[Chris Distefano]

Welcome to the History Hyenas. This is going to be a great episode. We got the one and only Paul Verze and we talk a lot about dings and he's got his chains on outside the sweatshirt and it gets wild.

[Yannis Pappas]

It gets wild. We have a good old time with him. See me in Miami September 10th, 11th, 12th, 13th, whatever. 11th through 13th. And Bakersfield, California, October 3rd and 4th. Giannispep is comedy.com for tickets.

[Chris Distefano]

Bakersfield, I've been there once. Real. Yeah. You could see me September 5th at the Chicago Theater, September 11th at the Theater at Mast Square Garden and September 27th in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Christy, comedy.com for TikiWiki.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. You know that big crowd we have in Saudi Arabia. Make sure you check them out. Patreon.com history Hyenas for our bonus episodes that are awesome.

[Chris Distefano]

And we got brand new merch over at history hyenas is back.com or history.com the merch will come to you. Within a week we got a new store. It's up and running. It's beautiful. Enjoy me, Yanni and Versi, y'. All.

[Yannis Pappas]

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm sitting here with Chris DiStefano and also we got our very good friend Paul Verze. His new podcast, Paul's Best.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, Paul's best podcast.

[Yannis Pappas]

Paul's Best podcast.

[Chris Distefano]

Now, Paul, how many chains do you have on right now? Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

2.

[Chris Distefano]

Is that the max?

[Paul Verzi]

You'll go, you know what? I thought two was the max, but when I saw how good this looked.

[Chris Distefano]

It does look.

[Paul Verzi]

I think I might go three.

[Chris Distefano]

Three's max, right? It is a nice look. You pull it off. Now Italians just dress nice. And the chains outside the sweatshirt is a nice look. And cuz not everyone will think to do that.

[Yannis Pappas]

What say it's like what a bishop would do.

[Chris Distefano]

Exactly.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, you look like a bishop.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he look. He looks like a. Yeah, like a cardinal. Like a bar bishop to Thomas Daly.

[Yannis Pappas]

Pull it outside of the sweatshirt. That's an intentional pull. You know it's an intentional pull. When you have a T shirt on, you can, you can play it off. It was an accidental.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

If it's a T shirt, it's like, oh, I happen to be out. But if it's. If I got a hoodie part of the look. Really intentional. It's pointed, it's a whole. As a matter of fact, before the thing started, I made sure.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

But here's the thing. I would say That's a great question, Chris. It's a great question because what is the max, right? The max was always two. It's a little gavoni if you go more than two. But then I saw two and I go, if you go one thin, this is the sneak. If one is thin, you could go three. Wow. You understand? Listen. Cause one will be medium. One is the profound. Nice. But if you go one straight, one little, it gives you the green light.

[Chris Distefano]

Three for three.

[Paul Verzi]

So I have the green light for three. Now I will say this. More than three, it's a problem. I would never do more than three.

[Chris Distefano]

Then you start to look real stupid.

[Paul Verzi]

More than three is a problem. But I also think the math, the, the. The mass and the, the. The width has a lot to do with the girth.

[Chris Distefano]

Girth. Yeah, it's just layer. Nice. It looks nice. And again, to pull it outside of a sweatshirt is a move you rarely see. And I commend you on this.

[Yannis Pappas]

What do you got going on?

[Chris Distefano]

I got one. I got one. But my thing is too big. It looks like a license plate. So what I got is it. Does it say DMV on there? It says tdv, the kids initials and I and cross. And I need to what? Probably it's a little too big.

[Yannis Pappas]

You can't. You already got the max crosses on you. There's got to be.

[Chris Distefano]

Cuz I got cross here, you got to cross here. But I'm getting them removed.

[Yannis Pappas]

You're getting.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm getting my tattoos removed.

[Paul Verzi]

I don't know if you should get a. It might be a bad omen to get the cross burned off.

[Yannis Pappas]

You think that that's bad already?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, it's already on the back.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So maybe I'll leave the cross on the back. But I got to get the neighborhood removed and I got to get the scripture removed. I got to get the neighbor.

[Paul Verzi]

I think anything that has to do with JC's Got to Stay.

[Chris Distefano]

Got to stay.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You go to church still?

[Paul Verzi]

No. You know what's funny? My son went to Chur on Sunday with two of his friends. I said, where's Lucas? And Stacy goes, oh, him and two of his friends went to church. And I go on. She goes on their own and I go, hey. She goes, yeah, they wanted to.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow. Does that automatically think. Does that make you think like, yes, they're good kids and wow, we raised them right or what did they do that? They're like, we gotta go to church to get out of this.

[Paul Verzi]

Right?

[Yannis Pappas]

These are the three things they're either good kids, they either did something bad or they're preparing for the holy war.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Like they're those kids from, like, that movie Mystic River. Did they kill somebody? Did they kill a girl and put.

[Paul Verzi]

Her in the river?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's a good point. No, you know what?

[Paul Verzi]

I think he did. I think he. I think he was like. I think. I think he's seeing things and he's going, you know what? I want to be on the right side of this.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Right.

[Paul Verzi]

I want to be on the right side of this when it's all it is.

[Chris Distefano]

You think he's saying. He's looking over and he's saying, you know what I mean? One of my friends could have felt.

[Paul Verzi]

Something too, that without telling us. Could have been like, you know what? Or could have had a friend go to church and say, oh, I felt this way, and then went, but the fact that my son on his own is going to church on Sunday made me feel. I'll be honest, made me feel bad.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

I woke up like, let's go golf, let's go to a movie. And the kid was in the big. In JC's house.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

The real test will come if he goes during football season.

[Chris Distefano]

That's.

[Paul Verzi]

Well, here's the deal. If Jalen Brunson's on TV or the New York Football Giants are on tv, you know, JC await. You know, wait till he'll go to a late mass.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Big thing. There's a big thing about the church strategy. Like, numbers have been dropping, but you can't help but notice that their main events happen during Football Sunday in America. They should at least make an exception and maybe move the mass to Saturday or Wednesday afternoon.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. Football season, it's just.

[Yannis Pappas]

You're going up against the NFL. What does good ratings going up against the nf.

[Chris Distefano]

Or you do this or you do a sc. You do a flex schedule. You do in. You know, if your team is playing.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

You get. You say, you know what if they got the 4 o' clock game, we'll do the 1 o' clock service if they got the 4. But here's the deal, you know, here's the deal, though.

[Yannis Pappas]

Or like you do. They do in a bar, like when you. We used to do bar shows at comedy.

[Chris Distefano]

You just put the game on in the background. Seriously.

[Yannis Pappas]

They should have screens behind the priest.

[Chris Distefano]

So you can double up.

[Paul Verzi]

And then it's third and eight. Everybody's there.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Seriously. That's how you use Jesus to help your team.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, Die Hards are there early, though. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Why would you have the game on for the bar?

[Paul Verzi]

But I'm going to tell you why.

[Yannis Pappas]

What's the difference?

[Paul Verzi]

The Die Hards are there at 8. The die hards are there. You got to understand the Die Hards.

[Chris Distefano]

Churchgoers. Yeah, right.

[Paul Verzi]

Die Hard churchgoers. They're up at 7. They have breakfast. They're in Mass before 9, they're out by 11. Now they feel like their team's going to win because they did it.

[Chris Distefano]

You ready for this? You want to talk about Die Hards? Yeah. You got those Die Hards, but then you have the next level elite Navy SEAL diehards. My mother.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, no.

[Chris Distefano]

Friday, Saturday night, seven days a week. She goes to the 8:00pm Saturday and the 10:00am Sunday.

[Paul Verzi]

You know what's going to happen to your mother? And hopefully it happens later when she passes. You know what, though? You know the way at Six Flags, they have the fast pass. She's getting the fast pass to heaven. Okay. Because listen, there's going to be a line to the Pearly Gates. Your mother on an escalator. Fast pack.

[Chris Distefano]

And. And it's good for me. And I feel I could commit a little bit more sin down here because I know she's getting a plus one. She's bringing her boy right up with.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, she'll just get it.

[Chris Distefano]

Because I'm a child.

[Paul Verzi]

She's going to say, I know he might have done some stuff, but I got the fast pass. I've been paying for this seven days.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Paul Verzi]

Get him up.

[Chris Distefano]

I think my mother's. My mother's holiness will pay for my debauchery. And that's how I get in. She's. She.

[Paul Verzi]

That might be.

[Yannis Pappas]

She's seen from a very young age that she had to do, put in extra hours.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. My mother and my aunt when I was 10 years old, used a word, an adjective to describe me that I never forgot. They looked at me, they said, christop, you're disturbed. So. So someone. So they've. So I think that's why my mother goes as hard as she goes, because she says I have a disturbed son, so I have to get him into heaven and the only way is through me. Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

She might have went into the confession booth and say, I have a disturbed son. And he may say, you have to double up your schedule.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is. Then what you're gonna have to do, Mrs. Estefano, is 2A days. Yeah, she's.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, she's Doing two days. Like, like the football team.

[Paul Verzi]

Like a football. Like in spring training, she's got to do two.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, here's what days. Here's the thing.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know how Norm was like, everyone knew his name at Cheer.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

When your mom goes into confession, you know, it's just like.

[Chris Distefano]

It's not.

[Yannis Pappas]

He doesn't even remember her name.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. The priest remembers your name, right? Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

You're like a regular at your mom's confession like Norm was at Cheers, but you're not even there. She just comes in, he goes. He goes, okay, tell me about Christopher again.

[Chris Distefano]

Here's the good. Here's the good thing about my mom is that time she periodically listens to the podcast, and Giannis knows this. If you're. If. If any. Like, if you came in and started saying you had a problem, something was going on in your life, she would. She would silently light a candle for you at St. Matthias Church in Ridgewood for Mr. Paul Ver. Tell you she would. It would just be lit, and all of a sudden your problems would all of a sudden get solved because you got the candle lit.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Know something? She's kind of like a saint on earth. Those people. Saints on. There are certain people that are like, saints on earth.

[Chris Distefano]

Saints on earth.

[Paul Verzi]

Saints on earth.

[Yannis Pappas]

I like to call the saint a stoppage.

[Chris Distefano]

Shop. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Where did she go? Where are you going?

[Chris Distefano]

Well, my mom. What? Supermarket. Stop. A shop. Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Stop it.

[Chris Distefano]

Shop. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's good to know that we got a. A saint that picks up produce.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Produce. Yeah. And what it is. She's good, too. She's good, too. Because my parents have been divorced My parents have been divorced for about 35 years now. My dad's still trying to get in the divorce settlement, 1/8 of the house, and my mom's protecting that 1/8. Yeah, my mom's not get. Because my mom doesn't believe.

[Yannis Pappas]

And your dad wants to put that 1/8 on the jets.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he wants to put it on the Jets. Big. So my mom protecting that 1 8th for me. She's protecting.

[Yannis Pappas]

She's done what she's had to do.

[Chris Distefano]

My mom's doing what she's had to do.

[Paul Verzi]

Your pops not letting go.

[Chris Distefano]

My pops keeps. He keeps holding on. He's asking to get bought out at that 1/8. Yeah. And my mom won't do it. Yeah, you won't do it.

[Yannis Pappas]

His pops listens to your and Bill's podcast about football bets.

[Chris Distefano]

Big and bad. Big and bad. Now, my dad's a big. Well, he was a big gambler. That's.

[Paul Verzi]

I can't. I can't let you go on the whole time with it. You got something on the teeth. And I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it.

[Chris Distefano]

I appreciate that.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is.

[Paul Verzi]

Look.

[Yannis Pappas]

Let me see there.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a biggie too.

[Chris Distefano]

And I got it. Yeah, yeah. There it is. Thank you. And what that. That was a caper from a salmon avocado toast. I got a gay fucking man.

[Paul Verzi]

At first I thought he might have a hole in his teeth, so I didn't say right. But then when I saw it moving, I let the kid.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you can head out. That's smart. Yeah, I. There was a guy. I had a little barbecue at my house on Sunday, and there was a guy who had canoli cream on his beard for about an hour. Nobody said anything. I came in, I saw it, I let him know quietly.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, I look at it like this. If you. If you like the guy or if the guy. If you know deep down inside the guy's a good part, you can't just let it. You can't let it sit there.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Paul Verzi]

Do you know what I mean? Like, you could let it sit there on an enemy.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. What about breath? Would you let a guy know he has bad breath? That.

[Paul Verzi]

For me, it's really hard to, like, be around that person ever again.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Paul Verzi]

Breath is bad.

[Chris Distefano]

One time you're done. If they have bad breath, once you're like, I don't know about them.

[Paul Verzi]

I actually, there was a. Some. There was a comedian. I'm not gonna mention names on this. That had bad breath years and years ago. And ever since then it ruined. I can't be.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just.

[Paul Verzi]

Even if they got it fixed, it's for me.

[Chris Distefano]

You guys want to hear that name? Go to patreon.comhistoryhyenas patreon.comhistory hyenas.

[Yannis Pappas]

Halitosis is a tough.

[Chris Distefano]

And it comes from stomach. A lot of these guys even brushing their teeth and all that doesn't matter. The mints, what they're doing, they're think it's from the stomach. They can't. There's nothing they can do about it.

[Yannis Pappas]

I found out it's like they're slowly dying.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's bad. Bad.

[Paul Verzi]

Something about women down. Down there. You know, the way that that could be. Somebody said it's hereditary and it's just a bacteria and if the mom had it, then the. So it's. It could be just a tough.

[Chris Distefano]

You.

[Yannis Pappas]

You inherit it like hair Color.

[Paul Verzi]

It's a. I heard. I heard that fumes.

[Chris Distefano]

That. That could be.

[Paul Verzi]

I heard that fumes is genetic. I heard that fumes could be a.

[Chris Distefano]

But here's my theory on that. And because I believe love, falling in love is chemical. It's pheromones. It's all that. Cuz there's been women, I'm sure we've all had this scenario. There's been women from our past that you've hooked up with that had fumes bad. Like fumes bad, where you're like, I can't even do that again. And then smells like Newark, right? And then you go. And then, you know, through Facebook and social media, you stay connected with them. You realize they got married, you know, five years later, and you say, how the hell does that husband deal with that fumes? But I think that if the husband connected in a way with their pheromones, they don't smell the fumes. And I think that if you and I are. I think that girls that we have smelled fumes with may not be fumes for everyone. It's just fumes for us. And that's the nature saying, that's not for you. You guys would probably mix and have a child that's retarded. Or maybe. Or maybe that's what nature does. Yeah. What? A child with a disability. Not. Not retard. You know what I mean?

[Paul Verzi]

Like, no, no.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow.

[Paul Verzi]

I never even thought of it.

[Chris Distefano]

That's why nature wants you to have children with as far away from your race as. So the love. They want you to have a black.

[Yannis Pappas]

Baby because, I mean, what is that your father? I mean. Oh, you're saying nature wants you to.

[Chris Distefano]

Have a black baby. Sorry, sorry. Your brother far away. They want you to have maybe a baby.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'll say it for you. Let's not get crazy now, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

No. So you're saying that the chemistry and love makes the dude kind of either ignore or not sense it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes, that's what I think. And then if you sense it and smell it, I think your chemicals are not.

[Paul Verzi]

You guys weren't supposed to be.

[Chris Distefano]

It's organic chemistry. You know, she's got a circle hole in your square. But then. So what you need to find is your square. And some. You know, so we just got to.

[Yannis Pappas]

Sniff each other's crotches.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what dogs do.

[Yannis Pappas]

I was saying instead of match.com, they should just do it.

[Paul Verzi]

That's what dogs do. Maybe a dog goes down and just goes, nah. Or this is my type of thing.

[Chris Distefano]

That's exactly what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

But what do you think? Maybe like traditionally seafaring people, you know?

[Chris Distefano]

You mean seat.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, those.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, the sea ticks.

[Chris Distefano]

Right, Sea ticks.

[Yannis Pappas]

C ticks.

[Chris Distefano]

Which.

[Yannis Pappas]

Me and Paul are.

[Chris Distefano]

Both guys are both half C tick, right?

[Yannis Pappas]

No, he's half C tick. I'm fully sea tick with zero Turk.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Zero Central Asian DNA. Maybe seafaring people like Norwegians, maybe Japanese. No, you're meat eaters.

[Chris Distefano]

All right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, I'm talking about people who traditionally eat fish. Maybe they have a little bit more of a tolerance for the fumes because.

[Chris Distefano]

The fumes do tend to lean seafoods. But then are you. But that's interesting because we have already spoken about that. Seafaring people typically have less fumes. Like a Viking doesn't really have fumes. Blonde hair, blue eyes, doesn't have fumes.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right, right, right.

[Chris Distefano]

So then how does it all connect?

[Yannis Pappas]

I think generally. I think all jokes. I think it's the hair.

[Paul Verzi]

No, no, it's all everyone's got. They all got fumes.

[Yannis Pappas]

What do you mean?

[Paul Verzi]

Every, Every. Every hair color has fumes. It's not one and.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but think about.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, but I'm not saying. I'm not saying the hair color. I'm saying the removal of the hair.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, removal of it.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, so you're saying if there's hair and there's like a. Like a lot of hair down. Puke. If you get rid of it, it gets rid of.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right, right.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, so you're saying that the fumes are in a hair.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know, parents say we. I had to walk to school. I had it so hard.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

We grew up in the era where we had to eat puss with big muffs. That is the walk to school of eating puss.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what ya and Yanni's move used to be. He would eat girls out in a bathtub that had fumes and he would have half his nose above the water and we'd call it the hippo. He would have half his nose above the water and then his tongue down below with the vagina below the water. There's a certain girl who. That's what you have to do with an old school bathtub. That's a worker on the loophole. That's called the hippo. It's called the hippo. Just come up this.

[Yannis Pappas]

But your nose is above. But about to slow.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's just. What?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, you know, and so we. That was. That's a new thing. I don't think waxing even started till like no.

[Paul Verzi]

Mid-90s to the 2005, a clean wax came late.

[Yannis Pappas]

The Brazilians brought jiu jitsu, and they brought the wax of America, which.

[Paul Verzi]

And they. And they wax, too.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

And just asses in general. Yeah. And aids. They have the most HIV now.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, that's.

[Paul Verzi]

Wait a minute. You mean they'll wax the cheek?

[Yannis Pappas]

They wax everything. The Brazilian.

[Chris Distefano]

Full Brazilian is not pussy. Everything. You'd have no hair down there. Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah. If. If you're doing a blindfold test, you don't know if you're on Epstein's island or not. That's what the issue is.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Smooth, baby. It's smooth, baby. And we're thankful to the Brazilian people because they, you know, that's what happens when cultures interact is, you know, they bring great things. You can't be isolated.

[Paul Verzi]

Well, look, in the 90s, in the 90s, white kids like us went to hip hop. It just influenced us. So the Brazilian wax came, and chicks that were hairy were like, dude, this is it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, this is it. Now, is jewelry, you think more of an Italian thing or a black thing? Because those are the two people.

[Paul Verzi]

Well, my dad. Listen, I could tell you this. My dad would say, back to Chris's question. My dad would say, there's no limit to the amount of change you could wear. No limit. And he would say that rappers, he told me, you know, I did it in my special. And it was a true thing where he's like, you know, I don't go for this hip hop shit, but these rappers know their jewelry because he would watch. And the bigger for him, the more it weighed, the, you know, better, the big medallions. He would say that. He would say he would even too little.

[Yannis Pappas]

That chicken wire.

[Paul Verzi]

He would call that chicken wire.

[Chris Distefano]

Chicken wire? Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

He calls this chicken wire.

[Chris Distefano]

Chicken. Even that.

[Paul Verzi]

No, he calls it chicken wire.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

He needs a. His is. His is even 3D. Like a block. The chain's a block.

[Chris Distefano]

He's going 20 grand easy on a chain.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, dude. My dad's probably. My dad. I would say my dad. I mean, he's old now, but I mean, the amount of money he spent on, I would say would be in the millions.

[Chris Distefano]

Millions on jewelry, I would say.

[Paul Verzi]

I would say overall, probably cleared a million in his lifetime. On jewelry.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

I mean, for him.

[Chris Distefano]

But it's worth something.

[Paul Verzi]

If I talk to my dad about sports, it's a very quick. He doesn't care if I talk to my dad about a jewelry shop because I just came from Greece. Right, right. He goes, did you go to the places where did the expensive jewelry? And I go, no, I went to stay. Had expensive watches. And he goes, no, he goes, no, not that. I'm talking about pieces for him. It's. He wants to go and see pieces, pieces. So he's like, if you give him an iced out chain that's prominent, he wants to talk about it. He wants to know the clarity of the diamonds, right. He wants to know the mass of it.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Paul Verzi]

He wants to know where they got the stones.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Paul Verzi]

You know, I mean, he's friends with all the Jewish guys on Ford on 47th Street. They all. Oh, Tommy. Oh, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

He goes into the city.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, no, no. He used to. When he was. When he wasn't in Florida, he goes into. He would go there and he would. You look at diamonds. He brought his own loop, right? You know, the fucking loops. He brought his own. The guy would tell him and he would, you know, he does the whole fucking thing and thought it's a nice big for him. Yeah. Clarity.

[Chris Distefano]

Nice. Yeah. I mean, it's. I mean, he's a New York kid, you know, I mean, that. That's just what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

It seems like jewelry, you know, it used to be the stereotype is like, the amount of change you have on, like, every chain you add is less of a level of education that you've got.

[Chris Distefano]

Is that really. Is that a. Is that a thing?

[Paul Verzi]

I mean, that's. Yeah. Abdul Carter, New York Gian.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, that's great. This guy's going to save the. The Giants.

[Paul Verzi]

He's going past the best blockers and even, I mean, preseason, but he. He's nuts. But like, a piece like, that's like 200k around his neck, easy.

[Chris Distefano]

Your father wants that.

[Paul Verzi]

My father saw that. He would say, get it.

[Chris Distefano]

He wants that. Yeah, He.

[Paul Verzi]

It's like. Yeah, it's like a cat to a laser.

[Chris Distefano]

He would just say, it is.

[Paul Verzi]

Then he goes to the watch.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Then he would, you know, then he would see the teeth and then say a racial slur.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Paul Verzi]

Exactly.

[Chris Distefano]

To get that. No, but to get that. Your father. Your father say hello to a black guy? To get that.

[Paul Verzi]

No, no, Have a full. Be him before.

[Chris Distefano]

I would say.

[Paul Verzi]

I would say befriend him.

[Chris Distefano]

That's great.

[Paul Verzi]

Because then he would go, hey, how you doing?

[Yannis Pappas]

You know?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then.

[Paul Verzi]

And it would go, where'd you get that? You got that on 47? Oh, yeah. Then my dad would go, he knows. He knows.

[Chris Distefano]

Right, right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Do you think we get to a point where jewelry Starts to get cool for, like. Like, nerdy kids. Because Mark Zuckerberg has a piece now.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

There was like. You know, there's like a. There's like a pre.

[Chris Distefano]

There's a two Mark Zuckerbergs.

[Yannis Pappas]

I think there's like a pre. Ufc. There's a pre.

[Paul Verzi]

That's what it is. And then, like, he's got confidence.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's got, like. There was like, a. Yeah, because he went from, like, across the political spectrum. I mean, look at him. He's wearing jewelry, dog.

[Paul Verzi]

Well, here's the deal. I think the kid was a nerd, and the only way women talked to him was when he got his money, right? Then I think once he started to meet UFC friends and Dana White and Rogan and all that, right? Then he was like, some started doing jiu jitsu. Then it's confident the kids, because then a nerd goes, I could you up, right? And as soon as he realized he could make. Make you tap out, he put a chain on.

[Chris Distefano]

I got a friend who's doing Jiu Jitsu. I got a friend doing jiu jitsu for six months. He said, bro, in just six months, he doesn't even know. He's not even a man. Not even close. He goes, just the fact that I know if somebody was to come approach me, that's it. I can roll them. My. He goes, my anxiety has went down to nearly zero because he can roll somebody.

[Paul Verzi]

Dude. My. It's the same. Like, my.

[Yannis Pappas]

Can you pull up pre and, like, to the two soccer birds.

[Paul Verzi]

My son is, like, really nasty at basketball right now. Like, really nasty. Oh, you saw his shot. But now it's like they're on the roof. But. But what happened to his game? Like, they brought him to Co Op City, you know, they were the only white team down there. The coach did it on purpose, my son, start. But when the confidence went up, the swag. There's a swag that happened.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Paul Verzi]

This kid. This kid wasn't beaten any. This kid was stuffed in lockers 100. Look at the glow up.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, look at that glow up. My father was a dentist. I mean, this kid was getting abused.

[Paul Verzi]

I mean, that left to right over there is the biggest change.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's crazy ever. I mean, that is. I mean.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, his haircut on the left, he looked like a. A guy from the 1920s.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

He looks like he's on the cyclo.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah. Yeah. It looks like he should be sitting behind Caesar.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

In the gladiator on the right.

[Yannis Pappas]

The right looks like he's going to get in trouble for dming young girls.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

The right looks. He's got a real confidence on the right.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's got a.

[Chris Distefano]

Think he did a little surgery too. You think there's some, some other guy going on?

[Paul Verzi]

The guy on the left goes, I'm going to the bar tonight. Maybe I'll see boobs. The guy on the right goes, dude, I'm hitting something tonight.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Right. It's really, it's really wild.

[Yannis Pappas]

His transformation has been interesting thing and it's also coincided kind of with his political transformation. Right.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean he, he's just a Republican kid.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's for the table. I mean he really. Whatever administration is in there.

[Chris Distefano]

He's just trying to stay out of jail.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's just trying to stay out of jail is what he's trying to do.

[Paul Verzi]

He's also trying to keep his money.

[Yannis Pappas]

Trying to keep his money.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Do you think he cheats on his Asian wife now?

[Chris Distefano]

Because, you know, I think they have an arrangement.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't think guys like this deal with just one woman. I think they have an arrangement because when you see us, I believe they have an arrangement at this level.

[Yannis Pappas]

When you have. When you see a smart or rich Jewish guy. Guy, right. There's only two pieces that are going to be on his side. It's going to be another Jewish woman or Asian.

[Chris Distefano]

They know what they're doing.

[Yannis Pappas]

The Ivy League has been bringing Jews and Asians together since.

[Paul Verzi]

Is that right?

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, because they're the. They overrepresented in the Ivy League schools.

[Chris Distefano]

Asians are nice.

[Paul Verzi]

They're super intelligent. So together they just make a money making machine.

[Chris Distefano]

That's all it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

Now what do you. Is there something attractive about the Asian culture? Just the way, you know.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, for me, you know, it's. For me, it's.

[Yannis Pappas]

Every married guy I know always goes like, you know, if I was to have a second choice or go around, I'm going Asian.

[Paul Verzi]

But I mean Asian, like not really communicating Asian.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Paul Verzi]

I mean like not being able to really talk one in Asian that doesn't.

[Chris Distefano]

Even know the language.

[Paul Verzi]

Just. It's just all about like the Japanese, like the, you know, whatever you need, you know what I mean?

[Chris Distefano]

Just what you really want talking back. What you really. That and what you really want is a woman. You. What you really want is the type of Asian woman who not only will listen, who understand, you know, that has that subservient mindset, who will sexualize you and make you like a godlike Figure what you really want, and this is the rarest of the rare, but what you really want to get your hands on is a North Korean. That's what you want.

[Paul Verzi]

Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

Almost impossible to get if you can get your hands on a relatively hot North Korean. It's like, you'll never. You'll never.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's like an original, original Pokemon card. They actually go up in value.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Because they're so rare.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Like an exotic animal. When you got another know somebody, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

If you haven't ship, stand there by the dmz, and if one of them hops over, you catch him. That's what you do. You bring her back, domesticate her a little bit. Forget it, dude. Because they've grown up. Kim Jong Un. You kind of release that brain. You kind of reverse that brainwash from Kim Jong Un and you put it on you. Now she's what? Now she worships the husband.

[Yannis Pappas]

I never thought about how rare.

[Chris Distefano]

But, you know, North Koreans are tough to get.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's like getting a reservation at Carbone.

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Paul Verzi]

It's like trying to get a white tiger.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

To be a pet.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. You can't get them. No.

[Paul Verzi]

But I will say this, like, much as guys are like, guys do say, I heard what Yana said is true. Guys do say, I would go Asian. I would go Asian culture where they can't really speak the language. It's all for the man. But here's the deal. That would drive you. Here's the deal. My wife, make no mistake, she definitely could be tough like all wives, because she's a strong tiger woman. That's a great mom. But I like the. You got to like the intellectual combo. You got to kind of like the challenge. Because if you had somebody for a year, just go, yes, Yes. I bet you after a while, that'd be tough.

[Chris Distefano]

That'd be tough. You want to be intellectually stimulated a.

[Yannis Pappas]

Little bit here about a year, maybe about 50. Enjoy it for 15.

[Chris Distefano]

50. I have a friend. He's got a. He's not. She's not North Korean, she's South Korean, but she doesn't speak a word of English. She communicates with her through Google Translate. What he was doing in front of us at the party, swear to God, three weeks ago.

[Paul Verzi]

Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

This woman, and she is smoking hot, does not speak a word of English.

[Yannis Pappas]

And I bet you his blood pressure is low.

[Chris Distefano]

Low. He just bangs that out, and then anything that he wants. It's all day.

[Yannis Pappas]

When I try to imagine, I think about it like an Uber driver. Like, I prefer when The Uber driver doesn't speak English.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, dude, have you been to another Like I was in Sicily, which I know we're going to talk about the history of Sicily. I was there two years ago and the Uber, the car driver there, you don't even need to know another language anymore. He was just speaking through the phone and there was a little bit of a delay because I'd have to translate. But Chachi pt. And these new things are going to fix that. Where you're going to be able to communicate. Yeah. I mean like this. In another language with people that's. It's not wild.

[Paul Verzi]

No, it's going to be wild. And it's going to actually probably teach us other languages quicker than you would think. It's like being there.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah. A ChatGPT social media. I'm all for get rid of that. I don't see the purpose in it. It's just as bad. Chachi pt. I see the purpose in it because I actually try to use it to make me smarter. I know that ChatGPT knows more than I'll ever know, but I try to have. How can I make me smarter? Social media doesn't make me any smarter. Social media makes it worse. But ChatGPT, I like to prompt it. I'm all for ChatGPT getting bigger. I want ChatGPT to tell me where the North Korean women are. Where do they go when they get out? Out.

[Paul Verzi]

Is there a place in New York City?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Where do they go? Where do they ship them?

[Paul Verzi]

You're gonna.

[Chris Distefano]

I'll pay big. How? Your dad wants to get a $200,000 payment. I want to get a North Korean.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. You gotta really know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy to get it.

[Paul Verzi]

And that's some real underground.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm telling you, it's almost impossible. Yeah, you'd have better chance of getting one of those like cannibals from the Amazon. That doesn't. Has never even been photographed. And getting North Korean. The craziest I heard they're also in demand.

[Paul Verzi]

No, that. The craziest I heard though was that North Korean girl on Rogan's podcast saying that they're in the middle of the night, they'll come into the house with a white kid glove. And if you're. You have to have the. The. The Kim's on the wall. Kim Jong Un and all that. And Grant, one of them has to be one of the Kims. Has to be a picture in every room. And if they go like this and there's any dust on it that mean these people get killed or tortured. I mean, it's.

[Chris Distefano]

It's what it is.

[Paul Verzi]

So that's why it's probably hard for them to get here.

[Chris Distefano]

But that's. But. But think about that type of mindset of a female coming in to be your wife.

[Paul Verzi]

No.

[Chris Distefano]

Spotless house.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

That is. I mean, think about if she's living under those conditions, and all you have to do is just be a little bit better than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can do kind of whatever you want. And she's going to be like, all.

[Yannis Pappas]

You got to do is not kill her for a speck of dust. She's in heaven.

[Chris Distefano]

Good. You can kind of do whatever else.

[Paul Verzi]

I mean, she'd lose it if you just said, hi, we're nice.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

How funny is it, though, that North Korea is ruled by a guy that's got a 1990s Patrick Ewing flat top?

[Chris Distefano]

That's right. And you know, they believe he doesn't shit. The people. Kim Jong Un.

[Yannis Pappas]

Now, they.

[Chris Distefano]

He has told the people that he doesn't use the bathroom. So they believe that.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, the kid is still rocking.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Look at that.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's got a flat top.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

With the fade.

[Paul Verzi]

I mean, the fact that Dennis Rodman went there and just hung out with the kid for an afternoon is.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, look at this one on the left. He looks like every lesbian had a protest.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's funny that they're getting ruled by this guy.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, this kid's 41 years old. He's the same age as me.

[Yannis Pappas]

He's a.

[Chris Distefano]

He was born. I was born in 1984.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. And he's a.

[Paul Verzi]

He's only fat. 41.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Look how fat he is.

[Chris Distefano]

He's a fat kid. His cholesterol is probably not good.

[Paul Verzi]

Do you think if you had sat down. Oh. And had a beard with a beer.

[Chris Distefano]

With him, he'd be awesome? Trump says he's awesome.

[Paul Verzi]

No, because. Because Dennis Rodman said that. They had a blast.

[Yannis Pappas]

I probably think he's.

[Paul Verzi]

But at some point, he's probably the.

[Yannis Pappas]

Only guy in North Korea who's having a good time.

[Paul Verzi]

But here's the deal, though. At some point. But at some point when you're sipping a beer with.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Gotta look over and be like, kid, dude, you gotta like.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Ease up.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

If he starts getting buzzed.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Like, dude, you're really not letting anybody out. Talking. Give me Internet. Yeah, that's a little extreme.

[Chris Distefano]

Internet. Give the kids the Internet. Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Give the kids the Internet. But, but you're right, the North Koreans, they can't come. I mean, it's not like El Duque when he flew it on a raft, right? Yeah, it's not close.

[Chris Distefano]

Not close. It's a really hard smuggle for them to get here. That's what I'm saying. If anyone out there let us know in the YouTube comments, let us know on the patreon. Patreon.com history. Do you have a North Korean or do you know how to access.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Can you tell us, point us in the right direction? We are brought to you by Lucy. I got one in right now. It is my favorite flavor. It's espresso. I get my nice afternoon coffee with, with my Lucy. Listen, if you like nicotine, Lucy's great. That's all there is to it. And here's the great thing. You subscribe, you sign up and then you send them to your crib so you don't got to run to the gas station at 4 in the morning when you're jonesing.

[Chris Distefano]

Guys, it's nice. Yanni loves nicotine. I love nicotine. Right now level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to Lucy Co Hyenas and use promo code hyenas to get 20% off your first order. Lucy has a 30 day refund policy if you change your mind, which is nice. I like that. They give us 30 days. Yeah, because you know me, I changed my mind a lot.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, and they got different mgs. You can go four, you can go eight.

[Chris Distefano]

Go four.

[Yannis Pappas]

You can go four, you could go eight. Of course, I am at that eight level.

[Chris Distefano]

Did you ever go with a girl who had Lucy's in a mouth?

[Yannis Pappas]

I. Oh, we swapped Lucy's.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Yannis Pappas]

Which is real nice. You can make out with a girl and you could have one flavor in. She could have apple in and you got espresso and you just switch.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's nice. Again, that's Lucy Co use the code hyenas to get 20% off. And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age. And every, every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical, baby. Now let me ask you this. Yeah, let me ask you this because you guys live, you know, you live, live, live a little bit north of me, you know. Won't you guys live in a real nice area? Yeah, yeah. I live a little bit closer to the city.

[Paul Verzi]

So we say, I don't mean to cut you up, but can we just say one Thing. Yeah, we live in the best place we live. Yeah, I mean, it's number one.

[Chris Distefano]

Number one.

[Paul Verzi]

Listen, listen to me. Uno.

[Chris Distefano]

What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Living in a big one.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's nice.

[Chris Distefano]

It's nice. Now, now, do you. Because you know where I live, because Leonis, I talk about this. I live a little bit close to this city, so I have a couple of more dings. You guys have less dings up by you. You know what I mean?

[Paul Verzi]

A ding.

[Chris Distefano]

You know what? A couple of days, like, like, you know what I mean? Like city, like. Like he asked me if I have any dings in neighborhood, and I think.

[Yannis Pappas]

The car gets dinged up a little bit.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, it's all good, it's all good, but it's just the further north you go in these counties, just you get less dings, you know what I mean?

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

There's the funny thing is, is he's half Italian. He got it right away.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he knows exactly because we're talking about trade offs like Giannis gave my neighbor. When I told him where it was, he gave it a B plus because he said, I dude to the city. I'm in the. I'm in the borough of Manhattan in 16 minutes.

[Paul Verzi]

See?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, what that's going to come with, though, is a couple dings in the neighborhood.

[Paul Verzi]

See, that's when I hear 16 minutes. When I hear anything under 35, 40, you. I go.

[Chris Distefano]

It goes the other way for you because you're a Yonkers kid. So. I live right above Yonkers.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah. So, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

What's, you know, what's another 15 minutes to avoid it?

[Chris Distefano]

That's what Gianna says to a few dinks. So. Because I've. And, and listen, it's beautiful where I live, but there's a. So it's interesting because Giannis doesn't. You guys live in the same area. You don't see any dings.

[Paul Verzi]

No.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Cars. It's pristine.

[Chris Distefano]

There's a ding.

[Paul Verzi]

No surfaces are flat.

[Chris Distefano]

Where I'm from. Where I'm from. Growing up in Queen Brooklyn, like, you know, I grew up with.

[Yannis Pappas]

You went outside and it was ding.

[Chris Distefano]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. When I came out, it was like a hail storm. So. So, so I'm okay with that. So I couldn't fully transition to a.

[Paul Verzi]

Dangerous, like the right answer on a game show.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't. You know what I mean? I can't flip. So where I went, I've kind of, you know, I'M transitioning a little bit.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Another way to say it is there's a little more turbulence. We came up with that one as well.

[Chris Distefano]

Turbulence is synonymous with ding where we live.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's just SM guys. There's no target.

[Paul Verzi]

Chrissy, you're making some money. Here's what's going to happen. You're going to go a little higher, you're making some money. Worst case, you throw a car service down. But here's the thing, you got to get the kids up.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but I can't. The thing, the problem is I can't move my kids schools again.

[Paul Verzi]

Right, right, right, right, right, right.

[Chris Distefano]

But what I've looked into is in my neighborhood, I, I don't know if every town has this. I do believe in my neighborhood, in my town I can keep my kids in that same town school so I don't upset, have another house and you can move out of. You have to pay a little bit more. But you can move. Your taxes don't cover it in full. Like only 50% of the tax covers, something like that. So I gotta pay a little bit. But I can get up to a little bit less turbulent, more friendly skies, less dings. And I could keep my kid in the same school.

[Paul Verzi]

Keep your kid in the same school.

[Chris Distefano]

Because the truth is, the truth is I'm starting to get to the point where the only ding I want in my house is my North Korean bride. That's her name. So. Because I just wanted to.

[Paul Verzi]

You just want Ping Ding in the house?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's just what it is and it's just because I really love where I live. But I was a little small. Surprised to see. There's just a couple of things.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, you have a yard.

[Chris Distefano]

I have a yard and I got a pool. He's. He's going to throw in a pool. I threw in a pool.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, throw in a pool.

[Chris Distefano]

I threw in a pool.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, Stacy. Next year want to throw in a pool.

[Chris Distefano]

So we throw in a pool. It's nice. You, you, you do that with the kids.

[Paul Verzi]

You throw in a pool, you throw a fence around it.

[Chris Distefano]

I got a fence around the pool and I got a yard and that's it. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

When you're in the city, you know you're going to, you're in a full on car wreck. Where he is, there's, you just get.

[Chris Distefano]

Dinged a few times, that's all.

[Yannis Pappas]

Where we are there's just no action accidents.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's all we're saying.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

There's no.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

I Get it?

[Chris Distefano]

But my neighborhood, the. What a big thing in my. A lot of Italians live in my neighborhood. Old school Italians. We got. We got old school delis, we got old school restaurants. So I know it's. So I know if there are a couple of dings, it's all. It's all okay.

[Paul Verzi]

It's under control.

[Chris Distefano]

It's under.

[Paul Verzi]

The things are under control.

[Chris Distefano]

It's not out of. Where I was living in Queens and Brooklyn. Out of control.

[Paul Verzi]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

Right out of control.

[Paul Verzi]

It's basically. You got an auto, you know, you got an auto body shop for the danks.

[Chris Distefano]

Exactly. Yeah. It's one of those things. Yeah. It's like, you know. Know, it's. It's a hail storm outside. Yeah. I got a garage I can pull in, so the dings are right outside the door, but I'm safe from them. That's where I live when I was living in Queens, Brooklyn. That's. I'm out on the street getting dinged.

[Paul Verzi]

Dude. You know what's funny?

[Chris Distefano]

You know what?

[Yannis Pappas]

We get dinged. It's a surprise. You come around the corner and you get dinged, and you're like, whoa.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Especially in our town, you know, I don't like to mention a name, but we have a town that we use that's. I mean, it's no dinks.

[Chris Distefano]

It's.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's no accident.

[Chris Distefano]

No dings allowed. No. Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

It'd be like an alien landing.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Like seeing a bob cat.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

But it's like seeing a mountain lion. You're like, what?

[Paul Verzi]

They don't. What is that?

[Yannis Pappas]

This is a different region.

[Paul Verzi]

There anything other. Yeah, it's. It's really nice and safe. Look, you just want your kids to be safe. You want. No crime. You want your kids to be safe.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Paul Verzi]

But when I went to. It was funny when I went to Greece, because I know you guys wanted to talk about Sicily, too, which is.

[Chris Distefano]

And I want to get into Sicily because that's another place where things are not welcome.

[Paul Verzi]

I went to Greece and I. When they found out everywhere I went, when they might get found out that.

[Chris Distefano]

I. Yeah, this is a little. We might have to put some of this on Patreon, just FYI.

[Paul Verzi]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Go ahead.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's okay. We could just lift it out and just.

[Chris Distefano]

We'll lift it out and then we'll just keep. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Like what a lot of people want to do when they see things.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Are you put. When you say things, are you putting under a big umbrella? Yeah. Like, you mean. Yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Paul Verzi]

That's What I. That's what I was thinking. There was a. There's a lot under there.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, there's a lot under there.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And it doesn't even. It's not even. It's not even even, you know, color, basic.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, you could just.

[Chris Distefano]

Anybody.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. You know.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

A criminal could be a thing 100.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, that's what we mean. Yeah. Just dings, just no dinks.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah. Well, now where we are, there's really no crime. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Almost zero, right?

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, almost here. I mean, my neighbor said the last time somebody like something that was 91. A house copper. I mean, in 91, right. We're talking 50 years.

[Chris Distefano]

It's not now. And you see the police all like police are there.

[Paul Verzi]

It's just. It's so. It's such a small community that everybody knows.

[Chris Distefano]

Everybody knows everybody. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Everybody knows everybody.

[Chris Distefano]

But. Because what I did when I did a move and Just tell me. And then I want to get to. But I did a move is. And I might have went overdid it. I went and I brought. Just because I'm new in the neighborhood, right. I got, you know, my house. I'm new. So I went to the police precinct and I brought a peach pie from the farmer's market to the cops. What do you think of that move?

[Paul Verzi]

I mean, that move?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Is.

[Chris Distefano]

You like that?

[Paul Verzi]

Dude, you know what I did?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

The first year I did my fourth of July fireworks party the first year I did it. And the cops came. You know what mean? I. I did.

[Chris Distefano]

Tell me.

[Paul Verzi]

Asked them if they wanted cannoli's cookies and coffee after they busted my balls.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Paul Verzi]

Just to make them walk away.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Paul Verzi]

You know, cuz now I'm like, listen boys, I know you're patri. I know you don't want to do this.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

But you know what? A canoli from Brooklyn doesn't hurt right now. Right?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

So go.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what I did it.

[Yannis Pappas]

And.

[Paul Verzi]

And look, you guys want cookies and canolies? And they had no. They had to say no. But I. They were waiting, right? So now I say, have I told. This is real. This is a real thing. I told my wife when the fireworks are going to off, you have a set aside rainbow cookies, canolis and. And. And coffee. So if the cops come, we buy time. We ask them this. But here, now, this thing now it can't stop.

[Chris Distefano]

It's like. It's like in Goodfellas when the cat came in and Karen's offering them.

[Paul Verzi]

You boys want coffee?

[Chris Distefano]

Where she said, my friends is spitting on the floors. Yeah, but you. You gave him coffee. You got. You got your wife. Nice.

[Paul Verzi]

The fact you bring a pie to the precinct.

[Chris Distefano]

I literally dropped it off. The. The female. The commanding officer, that was a female, she actually didn't know what to do. She said, I'm sorry, do you have a family member who's, you know, basically in one of the cells? I said, no, I'm new in the neighborhood. I gave him my address, my name. I said, I just want to, you know, this is a pie for you guys. Farmer's Market. It's sealed. I said, I just want to let you know, you know, I'm friendly to the police.

[Yannis Pappas]

And then you said, if a neighbor calls and says, there's some things in my house, those are my family.

[Chris Distefano]

Don't come. I said, yeah, I was having a party outside Puerto Rican. I said, I just want to let you know here with me. And I got him behind the fence.

[Yannis Pappas]

Now, do you think a lot of people who get pulled over by the cops or whatever, it would be different if they just had a box of rainbow cookies or like an assortment and they just offered the cops like, that's actually.

[Paul Verzi]

I'm telling you, if you just travel.

[Chris Distefano]

De escalate, de escalate.

[Paul Verzi]

I have a lot of friends that are cops, you know, I know. And they go, like, if the number one thing is when somebody's a dick, when they get to the door, if somebody gets to the car door and the person's already giving out to you. But if you. If you're like, you know what, officer? Hands on 10 and two, they say have the registration. They said the real way to do it. And this is what I turn the lights on. This is what.

[Chris Distefano]

Window open.

[Paul Verzi]

When they see this, they know that there's no threat. You have. If you get the registration and license in hand first, and then you go, did I do that? I'm sorry, my bad. But then if you go, by the way, just so you know, I'm coming from a bakery. Do you want. Do you want a stuffed shell? With regard.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, I think you might get off.

[Chris Distefano]

You know what? It's another move. I do too just.

[Paul Verzi]

And I mean the pastry.

[Chris Distefano]

With regard. What? I do too just. Because the rules, at least in New York. I don't know where the rules are now, but the rules in New York City, if you had an. If you had, you know, too many unpaid parking tickets, which I would have a lot. I would just get a parking ticket a week. Yeah, if they would suspend your license. Right. Because you just would and then, and then in New York City, if you have a suspended license, doesn't matter if you're fricking Mother Teresa, you automatically have to get arrested. So what I would do is I get pulled over. I would say, license, registration right there. And I would say, officers want to let you know I believe that my license is clean. But I just want to let you know I haven't paid all my parking tickets. So before you run it, can I please just check on newyorkcity.gov finance? Can I please just check to make sure?

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And typically the officers would allow it. They would allow it because. And you know, as long as I wasn't doing anything, it couldn't be going 100 miles an hour. But if it was a routine traffic stop, they'd say, all right. They'd say, all right, I'm not going to run it yet. And then I. If I'm valid, they're good. Then they run it. Make sure. Give me a ticket, whatever. Yeah, that's another nice.

[Paul Verzi]

And here's a great greatest move. Okay. If you. Can I be honest?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

If you let the officer know you, you don't mind Donnie T. Right. If you let the officer know you don't mind Donnie T. And you want to kind of get the others out, right.

[Chris Distefano]

Then they're probably going to be good to go.

[Paul Verzi]

Get a little sticker.

[Chris Distefano]

Here's another rule. We don't live in the New York City five bros. Anymore, but if you're a listening to this and you get pulled over the New York City area right now, this is, you know, whenever this episode comes out next week, week, right now, if you get pulled over, you give your offer. You give that police officer the license and you say, hey, mom. Donnie, yeah, you're done. Cuz they do not want mom at all.

[Yannis Pappas]

Tim had a funny joke about that when he got pulled over in Texas and he did. He goes, you're going like 90 something or whatever. And he was like, yeah, I'm just, you know, I'm trying to get away from liberal Californians that are moving in the state.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh my God.

[Yannis Pappas]

The cop was like, enjoy your night. Yeah, yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Is that true story?

[Chris Distefano]

I think it was probably true. I mean, you know, you just go.

[Paul Verzi]

You know, officer, I totally understand. I was speed. And I got to tell you, it is a shame what they're doing to you people. Donna. Yeah, you know, you just vote. Just so you know, we're voting. I don't care. You could give me the ticket, but what you guys have to go through down there. It's unbelievable. I mean, the morale must be down. We're rooting for you.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you do.

[Paul Verzi]

That's what you do. Because then they know, oh, this is one of the good guys.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. You tell them the truth. You say, listen, I vote red, but I support the blue. And you give them the power. They're the blue.

[Paul Verzi]

You got to give them a pound. And let them know that.

[Chris Distefano]

Listen, let them know. And they still might give you a ticket. But the thing is, don't forget, police officers are human beings. So. Yeah, they're not. You know, if you're really nice, why, you know, they got. You really gotta. They really gotta want to ding you.

[Paul Verzi]

And, you know, one thing is wild that, you know, New York City is in bad shape when a bunch of Italians are walking around New York City going, yo, Adams better win.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

I mean, there's Italian kids going, yo, every guy.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

I tell you what, Adam, you got guys Adams doesn't win with.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

That'S really progressive, yo. Yeah, that's very progressive.

[Paul Verzi]

You got Italian kids going, yo, we need Eric Adams. Everybody better line up for Adams. That's wild.

[Chris Distefano]

That's how bad mom Donnie is. He's solving racism in our city.

[Paul Verzi]

It's actually not.

[Chris Distefano]

He's bringing us together. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Look, there are a lot of racist cops out there. And unfortunately, black people do have to do it. A lot of unjust stops. They're getting always pulled over. Over for a tail light or something like that.

[Chris Distefano]

It is. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

You just, you know, we got a lot of black fans that listen to this. I mean, this mailman shout out to you. He has this route around here. He's a history hyenas, fam.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

So I just want to say to all of our black fans that are listening, you know, it's horrible. You got to deal with that sometimes. A lot of these cops, you know, can be real assholes. It won't hurt. Maybe just have a box of pastries on the passenger seat and just maybe a rainbow cookie might.

[Chris Distefano]

Might de.

[Yannis Pappas]

Escalate the situation.

[Paul Verzi]

And listen, if you don't like Trump or, you know, it's just, you know, you could pretend.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can lie. You can just. Just, you know, just to get out of a traffic stop, you say, just have the fucking. Have the MAGA hat with you, dude. Have it with you. Have it run a shout out to.

[Yannis Pappas]

Trump and a rainbow cookie. You're definitely going to get half off the table.

[Paul Verzi]

Or when you click the glove box, to get the registration. Just a maga hat flies out. That's it, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Get it? So then he sees. You don't even have to mention it. Yeah, yeah. This thing.

[Chris Distefano]

Sorry.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, yeah, it always falls out.

[Paul Verzi]

It just flies out. Get it? And he goes, what's. And you go, you know what it is?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

You know, when in Rome, it's. When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Most cops, I mean, I would love to see if they ever took a nationwide survey. And I don't know why this is, but you'd probably come up with like numbers like 97%, like 90 to 97% of cops are Republicans, Right?

[Chris Distefano]

You would think it's a high number.

[Paul Verzi]

High percentage would be. I would say 85 or above.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, 85.

[Chris Distefano]

97 might be crazy, but I would say 8. 8. At least. Least 80, because here's the majority.

[Paul Verzi]

I think there's a lot of. I think that there's a lot of cops that were probably Democrats or grew up Democrats, but then they see the shift and now they're. You know what I mean? So that's why I wouldn't. I agree with Chris. I wouldn't say 97, because there's probably people that grew up. You know, my Sicilian grandmother was. My Sicilian grandmother was Democrat. And my, and my. The one she lived with, my grandfather was Republican. But it wasn't like that then.

[Chris Distefano]

Wasn't. Yeah, it was. It was.

[Yannis Pappas]

We were way off. See, we were way off.

[Chris Distefano]

This is all bs.

[Paul Verzi]

What is that?

[Chris Distefano]

Because half of them don't identify. Half of them don't vote.

[Paul Verzi]

Right?

[Chris Distefano]

This is. This, These numbers are not.

[Yannis Pappas]

They're saying. So the AI overview from Google is saying it's 32% of police office in the United States. Identify.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't think.

[Paul Verzi]

Plus they hide it. Plus, first of all, people hide it. And also officers of law don't want that out there. I don't think they want to buy a state. It makes sense if you're. If you're a law officer to not.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

This is. This doesn't even make sense because it says the figure is significantly higher than the estimated 14% of the general voting public. That doesn't even make sense. No, that doesn't even make sense.

[Paul Verzi]

When de Blasio came out, the whole fucking unit turned their back.

[Chris Distefano]

Turn their back.

[Paul Verzi]

I mean, it was. Yeah, but nobody, Nobody's going to talk about. If I was a cop, I would never. On. On the thing. Do that. Because bosses, look, if you transfer, they look, it's better to either Keep it independent or don't. You know?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, smart. Smart.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's interesting. It's interesting. It's. It's an interesting thing.

[Chris Distefano]

But. But that, I mean, but that's. We only got two political parties. Sicily, which we wanted to talk about, the history of Nice. Italy's got something like 18 political parties. There's too many political part. But Sicily, Paul's a Sicilian kid.

[Paul Verzi]

Well, here's the deal. I went to Greece and when I walked in, this is what I wanted to tell you guys. When I walked into places, you got to understand, I'm with my wife, Scandinavian look. Scandinavian. My daughter looks like me, my son looks like my wife. And then with another family that look Irish, German, Irish. When they saw me, they all went, oh. As soon as they would make a beeline to me everywhere we went, and they would go, you ask how my mother's Greek and my father's Sicilian. And then they lost it. They would go, yeah, we see it. And they would say that thing that Dimitri said, same face.

[Yannis Pappas]

There's a. Una facha.

[Paul Verzi]

Una facha. It means, means one face. It means one face.

[Chris Distefano]

So say like the Sicilians have one face or.

[Paul Verzi]

No, no, they're saying that the, the Greek Sicilian face is basically the same. Una FA is something. And it means same face. So they would look at me and.

[Yannis Pappas]

Go, two regions, same face or something like that.

[Paul Verzi]

So it's so close. And Giannis sent me something a long time ago, cuz he, you know, I mean, I told you just for your listeners to know. This is how unbelievably prideful Greek Giannis is every three months, out of nowhere. Okay? I mean, we're dear friends, but there'll be times where we won't talk about it for months. And every three months my phone just buzzes. Is Giannis going, you're a Greek kid. You're full blown Greek. Your mother's Greek. And it's just. It's just what it is. It's just a text I get and I just go like this. Yeah, I know. And he goes, you got to start embracing it. I go, yeah. And I put it down. I mean, that's just what it is. It happens twice a year at least.

[Chris Distefano]

Dude. I know. Well, and that's why I commend you, because you've been full 15 years. I took a three year break. But you. But you've been full on 15 having. And that. I commend you on that. That's real. That's real. And you live across the street, so that's what it is, but, but I did.

[Paul Verzi]

Yanis sent me something. Sicilian DNA is very, very close to Greek. As a matter of fact, the Greeks were there first. And I also found out, though, and this is why I never do the DNA. Not that I would be, you know, not that. But it says it's close to, you know, Arabic. It's close to. It's, it's close to. So Greek and Sicilians are very same, but Sicilians have a lot. Sicilians. Because everybody went there.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

And they were actually even. No, they kind of migrated down and then said they were their own and they were better than Calabria and better than, you know, Naples and all that, that stuff. But Sicilians, I could, if I do a DNA, I could find out that I have.

[Chris Distefano]

So in other words, so in other words, what you're saying is you do the DNA, it's gonna pop up 88% Greek, Sicilian, and then you might get 12% ding.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, you might get ding.

[Chris Distefano]

It might. It's just a little ding. Ancestors.com just says, hey, you got. The results are great. You just gotta ding.

[Paul Verzi]

You know the way. Now we can't, now we can't do. Yeah, now you can't do certain sketches. But back when Chappelle. Like 2000, 2002, how great would have sketch been if a bunch of Italian families in Bensonhurst, all the fathers and grandfathers got DNA done. The whole neighborhood got to pray. They're all fighting. Because I'll tell you this, 100. He could attest this. If my father, if you told my father. Listen, Tommy, we just got to let you know that you're 90 Sicilian, but you know, you're Arabic. Nah, that's, you know, he couldn't be able to handle lies.

[Chris Distefano]

And by the way, let me just say something too.

[Paul Verzi]

And by the way, nothing against Arabic, but my father, One wants to be one thing and one thing, but by the way.

[Chris Distefano]

But this, it's just, it's just being a person. It's just tribalism because the opposite is true too. The, the black guy, the Arabic guy, if they found out they were 10 Sicilian, they would be like, they would be like. They don't want that either. So everybody just wants to be what they think they are, right? I do think the opposite is true. You get an old school. Think about an old school black, you know, grandfather from the South. Do you think he wants a white half white grandbaby? He does not.

[Paul Verzi]

No, that's true.

[Chris Distefano]

Does not.

[Paul Verzi]

No, that's.

[Chris Distefano]

It's just one side is politicized.

[Paul Verzi]

Nas and Jay Z might like being sisle because they rap about mob movies a lot.

[Chris Distefano]

Might be. Yeah, it might be nice. Yeah, that might be nice. But they still don't. So that's the difference is it goes all way.

[Paul Verzi]

No, I do.

[Chris Distefano]

I think we're getting to the point society now. We have to. We can all start to be honest where it's like, it's not just white versus black, black versus. It goes all ways. Everybody just wants to be what they are. And I want a North Korean wife.

[Paul Verzi]

I think. No, I think. I do think you're right. I think that somebody that is prideful, African American, they find out that they're white or something, probably would be like, whoa. I think it's because people want to be. If you're told your whole life you're one thing and you love that culture, you eat the food of that culture, you wear the things, you're prideful, and then you're like, oh, but you're also, you know, you know, Syrian or something. Yeah, like, oh, okay, That's. It's just. It throws a wrench.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's just what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Thankfully, Ancestry.com wasn't around during Hitler's time, because if he would have did a DNA, the kid would have had a heart attack.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

No. Well, he would have killed the whole company. He would have murdered the whole company that started the DNA 23andMe would be gone.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Talk about a kid who had next to no Aryan DNA.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

What was he?

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, he. What? Based on the eye test. I mean, she looked. Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

I mean, really?

[Chris Distefano]

And we. We did an episode on the eye test, and we did an episode last year.

[Paul Verzi]

But the eye test can't really tell, can it?

[Chris Distefano]

No, no.

[Yannis Pappas]

You give Michelle the eye test, you're going like, maybe.

[Chris Distefano]

But we did an episode. But we did an episode. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Just on the eye test. You're like, that's a big woman. Her hands are big.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, she's a big girl. Yeah. So. All right.

[Yannis Pappas]

But the eye test can be deceiving, is what you're saying.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. So do you know about the history of Sicily, Paul?

[Paul Verzi]

I mean, listen, from what I was told by my father, from what Giannis has sent me, from what I learned from. From traveling, you know, I know as much as I can now.

[Chris Distefano]

I've. I've been to Sicily, and I've actually been. Syracusa is absolutely gorgeous on the coast, and it translates into Syracuse. Now, Syracuse, New York, does not look like Syracuse. Sicily.

[Yannis Pappas]

Very different.

[Chris Distefano]

They don't look the same, thank God.

[Paul Verzi]

Syracuse, New York is on my top three. Maybe one of the other than the campus.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's a rough spot. One of the worst in the country. Yeah, Syracuse is rough. Syracuse, Binghamton, places like this are rough. No offense, Carmelo Anthony, no offense at all. But it. So Syracuse, it was the capital of Byzantine Sicily. So does that mean, when we say Byzantine Y, does that mean that Sicily was a little muzz? Was a little muzzy? The Christian side, Christians are Byzantine. No, I understand that, but to me I would say it's Rome, but. Right. But I always think the Byzantine Empire, even though it's Christian, they were kind of like closer to Muz than Roman Catholic. Like you guys are closer to Muz. Your type of Christian is closer to Muzzy than my type of Christian. Well, Paul and I are not our Roman Catholic.

[Yannis Pappas]

We didn't have to. You would think that we dealt with them more.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

But the truth is Syracuse had to deal with Sicily and Syracuse had to deal with multiple. Multiple what they call in history, which I've, I've recently understood. It's very funny how politically correct it is. It's very politically correct. I'll just be honest about it. They always call it Muslim expansions.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

They call, they refer to them always as Muslim expansions.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Or incursions, which is, you know, oh, I got conquest. It's colonialism. So the, the Muslims, they, they, they constantly attack Sicily.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Yannis Pappas]

And they got in there. So that's, they were close.

[Chris Distefano]

The thing is they're. Sicily's close.

[Yannis Pappas]

Sicily's close. So they, but they went all the way to, to Spain.

[Chris Distefano]

They got all the way to Spain.

[Paul Verzi]

Check this out. So my aunt told me, cuz I say, where am I from? Where am I from? So in Sicily, my grandmother's from a village right outside of Terina, which is some of the most beautiful place in the world.

[Chris Distefano]

You been to Tamina?

[Paul Verzi]

No. No, we're going next year.

[Chris Distefano]

I've been to Tina.

[Paul Verzi]

That's where my grandmother's from.

[Chris Distefano]

It's unbelievable.

[Paul Verzi]

And my grandfather's from Palermo, but my, on my Greek side, my grandfather was from. How you say that? Yanni, Gista, Yanita and Gravana. So Gravana.

[Chris Distefano]

This is Greece.

[Paul Verzi]

This is Greece. So. But my grandmother is from my Greek sides, from where Alexander the Great was. And here's the deal that Gravinia, I found out. It's funny because you know, Stacy and I, me and big Stacy's big fight is that I'm, I'm too easy going and laid back and I, I Don't. I'm a little. Right.

[Chris Distefano]

So we go with your kids, like, in life. Just.

[Paul Verzi]

I'm just. I'm chill, which is good. And she's. She's like, we gotta get this done. But when you have somebody that's like, we gotta get this done, you got somebody that's like, we're good. It could. It could cause complex. So this lady in this jewelry store in Greece finds out that I'm from Grameen, and she goes, oh. She goes, do you know that. That those people there in Greece, they're very chill and calm. So I look at Stacy, and she did me a disservice. I go, you see? And she goes, but I gotta be honest, some would say too chill. And my wife goes, see? I was like, you didn't have to do that. You didn't have to do that. You could have just said I was a chill guy who just fucking likes to chill out. But when you learn these things and then you find out where you're from and see Sicily by the beach, by water. I'm a Sicilian Greek kid that likes to maybe be by the water and just be left relaxed.

[Chris Distefano]

What you like to do? If you're probably a fisherman, you hate me.

[Paul Verzi]

An apparel spritz in the water.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. Let me go out. I provide for my family. I go out in the waters alone. I bring back fish for the family.

[Paul Verzi]

We drink, be left alone a little bit. I'm chill. So now I got this Scandinavian Viking. I married a Viking.

[Chris Distefano]

You did.

[Paul Verzi]

So you got a kid from a place in Greece that they even said is very chill. Laid back people that like to chill. And then I married a Viking.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. So what's. Yeah, what she. Because deep in her DNA, what she wants to do is go ding hunting. She's a Viking.

[Paul Verzi]

She wants to get on a ship with the sword, find people and kill. Yeah, that's what.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what they said.

[Paul Verzi]

No, no, that's. I think that's what she has.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you have good numbers? What's your pressure? Cholesterol. Do you have good numbers because you're a choke.

[Paul Verzi]

I got good numbers with the. With the heart, the cholesterol, Sometimes the back, if I eat. But everything is good.

[Chris Distefano]

Good. Pressure is good. No meds.

[Paul Verzi]

They said my blood pressure is good. Crazy good.

[Chris Distefano]

See, because you're relaxed, chilling.

[Paul Verzi]

Because I'm. That's the thing.

[Chris Distefano]

But does your wife have bad pressure, I wonder?

[Paul Verzi]

No, her pressure is good, but I think maybe a little higher than mine. But like I said, she's a Scandinavian Viking.

[Chris Distefano]

Right, right.

[Yannis Pappas]

She's looking, she's looking to plunder. She wants to plunder.

[Paul Verzi]

And sometimes I've noticed where she'll get like, you know, like, and, and I see it in my, in my kid. If they get mad, there'll be a, like a, like a. And I'm going like, what is. And I'm like, oh, that's in the D. That really is in the DNA. Because like you said, Vikings, they threw the whole. And they said, get on the ship, it's time to go pillage.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what they would do. Yeah. So they have to fight. Where you are just chilling out because I guess you're from a village where you're looking out and saying, what are the problems?

[Paul Verzi]

I'm looking at the water going, let me go get a fish. And then that's it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Surrounded by beautiful land, beautiful women.

[Paul Verzi]

And here's a great thing for the history hyena show. I found out that there's two amazing fish that only are in the waters of Greece and Italy. And it's called the Denix. Can you pull that up? The Dennex fish and the, the something crown sea bass, where the sea bass almost looks like it has a crown and a Denix. Those two fish are only in the waters of Greece.

[Chris Distefano]

I wonder if they're healthy too, because talking about that Mediterranean diet.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a Mediterranean. Yeah, it's in the, it's in the Mediterranean Sea and we ate it, dude, it was nuts. But yeah, it's.

[Chris Distefano]

Are they healthy? Let's see if they fit into a low cholesterol, low blood pressure diet.

[Yannis Pappas]

Those, those fish, they're strictly Greek. Those are like the Greek fish.

[Paul Verzi]

But he said they're in the Mediterranean. But he said they're in the Mediterranean Sea by Italy too, you know. But some of these fish are only in the two regions that I am. But I might be more Greek than I am Sicilian.

[Chris Distefano]

And how does that make you feel?

[Paul Verzi]

Great.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, theoretically there's a, there's a good chance because.

[Paul Verzi]

Because of how many Greeks were in Sicilian.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, I'll say this. Maybe you're certain because, because you know, Yanni is also very calm. So I'm going to say you're probably Greek on the inside, but you're definitely Sicilian on the outside. You got your chains outside your sweatshirt.

[Paul Verzi]

That's a hundred percent.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[Paul Verzi]

That's exactly what it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

I'm Greek on the inside. I think my heart is more like my Mom's. I think my sensitivity comes from the Greek side, but the Italian side is like, look at my sneakers and make sure you look at the chain.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, exactly. Right, right, right. That's.

[Paul Verzi]

I mean I have a white leather. I have a white leather Lexus. I mean it's just white leather inside of it.

[Chris Distefano]

What it is.

[Paul Verzi]

It has to be what it is. You give me white.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

You know, I say when I walked into his kitchen and his bathroom, I could have sat there. I stayed. You know, he made it. He, he, he made his downstairs redone. And, and to the eyes view, like where Jesse is. To the eyes view is his new bathroom. That's just white marble. And we'll be watching a movie. I'm. I'll just catch. I'll just start looking at it. I just, I can't help want the white marble. The white marble.

[Chris Distefano]

You got marble all over your house.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, white marble is Italian catnip. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Like you would. You would sleep in the bathroom if you could, right?

[Paul Verzi]

I, I, some. I took a longer piss. Yeah, I took. No, I took a longer. Just to. Just to marvel at it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Just I was pissing and, and I was hoping that the beautiful talk of marble at the stone. There's something about white stone. That's why Santorini, though Santorini and the islands in Greece have. There's white rock islands. These are white rock and they paint the buildings white with the blue roofs and shit. That's to me, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

Let me tell you something. Terrormina is. I personally think it's the most beautiful place I've ever been to. There's a hotel there called St. Dominic's palace or San Domenico Palace. It's a 15th century monastery. Monastery that is a hotel now. You go have a brunch there, whatever. Stay there. You know the Ionian Sea you really like. It's almost like makes you emotional. How beautiful that place is it really. You're gonna love Taormina in a way I can't even explain.

[Yannis Pappas]

Is it romantic like old bunch?

[Chris Distefano]

It's romantic Big. Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

You want to hear a funny story? One of the funniest. It's one of my top. This gotta be one of my top 20 life moments. Funny.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's not a good thing or a bad thing. Definitely not a bad thing. Was also we let laughed hard but me, Chris and Damien Lemon. It was me, Chris, Damien Lemon. Maybe Mad Dog was there. I don't remember. But it was definitely the three of us. We were walking. We were walking down to. Because he likes to sightsee he's more than me, you know, like when I go on the road, I always have to go see the sight.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, you're one of those.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm big. I'm out in the room all day.

[Paul Verzi]

You're out of the room all day?

[Chris Distefano]

All day. I gotta see stuff. I go back about 4:35pm the latest. Take an hour and a half, half nap and then get ready for the show. But I have to be out in the room sightseeing all day. I'm going to state capitals. I'm a little. He's a.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, it's German.

[Chris Distefano]

German. I need to. I need to get what's going.

[Yannis Pappas]

Schedule going.

[Chris Distefano]

And really, I have a schedule. I have a schedule. When I land. There's things to do. Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

See?

[Chris Distefano]

So, you know, Sergio doesn't love coming on the road with me because he's got to get out of. He likes going on the road with Yanni a little more.

[Yannis Pappas]

We get up a little later.

[Chris Distefano]

A little later.

[Paul Verzi]

But my openers love being on road because, I mean, I'm up at, you know, we're out. I'll meet you at. Down to the lobby at 2.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

We'll get something to eat, then we'll take a nap, then we go.

[Chris Distefano]

So you're okay staying in the hotel A. There's the whole day.

[Paul Verzi]

And unless it's a city that is. Yeah, if you have to.

[Yannis Pappas]

We're Greeks, we like to take the lay down. There's times where I've gone to Paul's house and I look down at the chair where he's sitting and it looks like he's in hospital bed.

[Chris Distefano]

He'll be laid like.

[Yannis Pappas]

Like he's injured.

[Paul Verzi]

Like, I'm big on the big restaurant in the spot.

[Chris Distefano]

Chris got it.

[Paul Verzi]

So you know what I mean? If I'm in Sacramento and they're like, you have to go to this joint, then I'll do whatever. But we'll make sure that we go.

[Chris Distefano]

There after the show, though.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, after the show. Now, if there is something. Something. But I'll give you an example.

[Yannis Pappas]

But you're not a history.

[Paul Verzi]

We were in San Diego and someone's like, you got to go to that battleship. And I didn't.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Paul Verzi]

That one I didn't.

[Yannis Pappas]

You didn't miss much.

[Paul Verzi]

No, that one I didn't. Because I've been on them before and it's like, that one I didn't. But if you were like. But look, we were in. We were in Greece and I had the chance to not do it. They were like, do you want to get up at six in the morning and go to Necropolis. It's going to be really hot. It's a hike. And I was like, we have to.

[Chris Distefano]

You have to do that.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

But if, even if you're in a city that you've been before, like a Chicago, you could stay in the hotel for the weekend. Because you've been to Chicago a couple of times, right?

[Paul Verzi]

If I've been to a place a couple times, then I'm going, I'm going to go to the steakhouse that I love there, smoke a cigar at the cigar lounge I love there. And that's it.

[Chris Distefano]

That's it.

[Yannis Pappas]

Me and you are Prancers.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm big on.

[Yannis Pappas]

We're gonna prance.

[Chris Distefano]

Like when I go somewhere, like when I go, I typically get there, I have to balance it all. Cause I don't. I leave on the last possible flight. Cause I wanna spend as much time with my family as possible. I get and I do the show and what I'm huge on is the next morning, wake up early and I start seeing stuff. I made Sergio drive about an hour and a half outta the way so I can get a pic in front of his state capitol in Lincoln, Nebraska.

[Yannis Pappas]

He takes pics in front of all the state capitol.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's is. Oh, okay. That's what it is.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a little.

[Paul Verzi]

So here's the deal though. You're see, we're. I'm Sicilian and Greek, you're Italian and German. So the German.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Has got its own thing. Here's the deal. We're dog breeds. Yes, we're dog breeds. And you just got a mix. You got that mix.

[Yannis Pappas]

Well, he's got a very slight Italian.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I'm not as.

[Yannis Pappas]

Not enough to calm down the German.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm not as Italian as my comedy dictated.

[Paul Verzi]

Did it hurt?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

When you found out?

[Chris Distefano]

Did you? No.

[Yannis Pappas]

I always knew you were mostly.

[Paul Verzi]

Wait, what are you. What are you, 80, 20?

[Chris Distefano]

No, dude, I'm more. It's like 95. German. 5%.

[Paul Verzi]

You're 95% German.

[Chris Distefano]

Ancestry.com was off the charts German. And we've talked about this before, but it made me feel, and I'm just being honest with you, that you can't eat around us. Well, no, it's not that. It's not that. It just made me feel. It was like a subconscious thing. It made me feel. I'm an American, I love our country. I'm bleed red, white and blue. That's where I was born. I pick this over anything, but it made me feel a little sympathetic towards the Germans and what happened to them in World War II. Just a little sympathetic. Not to the negative Nazis. They're pieces of, you know, the Holocaust, that's awful. But a little bit of the people that got swept up in it, you know what I mean? Like, not everything is.

[Paul Verzi]

Is what it seems.

[Chris Distefano]

And the uniforms were nice on the Nazis. Hugo Boss uniforms. Well, here's.

[Paul Verzi]

You know, it's funny, as an Italian, I could be like, was that Hugo Boss?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it was.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah. You know, here's the thing, I think, because when you find out what you are, there's something in you that's like. It goes back to the ancestry. It goes back to what the people before you went through. Seriously, you think. Think about, like, you have a great great grandfather that I had a great great grandfather in Sicily doing something to provide for. So when you find out that that's what you are, you're prideful. You're prideful, you know, the people you're creed right to do. That's like a dude, that's like. It's like, that's what you are. So you found out you're German, 95. You're like, all right, so now you learn about all that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, all it is all like, what are the. What are the positive things from that country? What's good about it? You know, we have bad history at recent history. But then you think about, okay, there's power, power there, you know, and you start to think about things and then moving forward, you start to say, well, you know, look, obviously the Nazis and though they were all bad, but I mean, they. That it wasn't a hundred percent. You know what I mean?

[Paul Verzi]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

Of course, 99, 98 of their ideas were bad, but they had a few good.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah. Couple good Nazis too. 100% that didn't want to be doing it. That told people like, help people escape. Help some Jews escape. Put you.

[Yannis Pappas]

Not many, but a few.

[Paul Verzi]

No, but there are stories of that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

You know, and I'm sure that there were some that just went by the.

[Chris Distefano]

Rules that were like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

You know, it's like human.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm sure more than a few of those.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, yeah, dude, you're human.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, right.

[Paul Verzi]

You know, the human to kids and shit, you know?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Country got decimated during World War I, Germany. And they just wanted to get some glory back. They went overboard, I'll give you that. They want the right intention, the wrong move.

[Yannis Pappas]

They wanted to make Germany great again.

[Chris Distefano]

Which is all they wanted to do. And they went all overboard. But I will acknowledge that there.

[Paul Verzi]

But there's one thing that can't be disputed in this entire conversation, and I won't stand for it. I won't come on this show and talk about history and talk about those things and stand for anything other than this. Italian and Greek food are the greatest. Here's. There's three. I say three. Mine is Italian, Japanese, Greek.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Paul Verzi]

As far as food.

[Chris Distefano]

Right, okay.

[Paul Verzi]

But that being said, German food, underrated.

[Yannis Pappas]

No, German food is disgusting. So, dude, we went to Germany. We like a four star restaurant. They served us like we were at a Mets game. It was like a frankfurter applesauce.

[Paul Verzi]

That's not a four star restaurant because I had a schedule there.

[Chris Distefano]

Dude, sour brain.

[Yannis Pappas]

You're talking about a schnitzel.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a sausage.

[Paul Verzi]

No, no, no.

[Chris Distefano]

Schnitzel's like a chicken cutlet.

[Paul Verzi]

Schnitzel is like a. Is like a chicken. A pounded ve or chicken that's breaded like a giant cutlet. And then you have. And then you have vegetables on the side. It's like. It's like a.

[Chris Distefano]

It's like a plain.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a plain chicken cutlet.

[Paul Verzi]

No, no, no, dude, look up.

[Chris Distefano]

But can you. German desserts. Amazing German chocolate cake. Pastry.

[Paul Verzi]

Listen, no. Dog food is in England. Dog food is in England. Dog food is in Ireland.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. You know, look, mushy peas, everybody. In England. Ireland.

[Paul Verzi]

That's delicious.

[Yannis Pappas]

Look how dry and bland.

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, nice little lemon on. It's actually nice.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, come on.

[Paul Verzi]

Dude, I'm just saying, like, listen, I didn't say it's up there. I said it's underrated. Underrated because I'm comparing that when I say.

[Yannis Pappas]

I would say Germany is accurately rated. Accurately rated is not a cusine powerhouse.

[Chris Distefano]

You know what's actually underrated too? And I didn't do it for a long time because I just had some mental blocks for it. But I've. I've since released them.

[Yannis Pappas]

It looks like someone vomited on a chicken cow.

[Chris Distefano]

That doesn't look. Look great, though. Chinese food is pretty good. A Chinese restaurant.

[Paul Verzi]

You're talking about real, authentic Chinese.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm talking about Szechuan cuisine. Oof. Yeah, dude, I'm talking about a sit down Chinese restaurant. It has good food.

[Paul Verzi]

If you put Asian food under an umbrella of all Asian food, I actually say Italian, Asian, Greek are the top three in the world, in my opinion.

[Chris Distefano]

Greek food. My cholesterol came down about 80 points because I switched from Italian was number one. Greek was three. I moved Greek to one. Italian. Italian to three. My cholesterol came down.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah. And by the way, healthy.

[Chris Distefano]

And people.

[Paul Verzi]

People that think, oh, what do you mean Greek? What is it just salads and lamb? No, the thing about Greece is it's so much stuff that comes out of the sea. It's incredible.

[Chris Distefano]

Everything's with.

[Paul Verzi]

And pasta with fish.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. And a lot of times, like. Like they'll use. Because I've, you know, I've been experiencing this. Like, I would eat a lot of heavy creams and heavy sauces. The Italian food, Greek food is more their seasoning with lemon. Or you have hummus instead. And it's amazing. Yes. And it's just.

[Yannis Pappas]

And it.

[Chris Distefano]

And it's great for you.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's why I think. I think Middle Eastern is underrated.

[Chris Distefano]

Middle Eastern.

[Paul Verzi]

Middle Eastern food is very underrated.

[Yannis Pappas]

Very underrated.

[Paul Verzi]

Definitely under.

[Yannis Pappas]

I'm not called German food.

[Paul Verzi]

No, no. But I'm putting Middle Eastern food above German. I'm just saying Germany's not dog food. We ate. I was in Germany for a long time.

[Yannis Pappas]

I had good food.

[Chris Distefano]

At least.

[Paul Verzi]

No, I was in Germany and I had good meals. I was in England. I had one good meal in days. England food is horrible. They haven't figured it out. They haven't figured it out. And how do you not. It's a kid.

[Yannis Pappas]

Akin to German food. They do a lot of meat, a lot of. You're another Italian. Would you say. Would you say German food is accurately.

[Chris Distefano]

Rated or under and half the Italian side of the brain answer. Not the Jewish side. Yeah.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. German food. I mean, there's not much there. I mean, schnitzel.

[Chris Distefano]

Is it Right? I mean.

[Yannis Pappas]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

They don't have a lot of variety. Desserts. Germany is great at dessert. Good. Can you pull up German desserts? We have strudel chocolate cake.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a fried.

[Chris Distefano]

Is good.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a frank.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, we're talking about a frank.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. German desserts. I mean. I mean, German chocolate cake. Cake. I mean, come on.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Apple strudel, Bavarian.

[Chris Distefano]

Come on.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Schwartz.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. They do have good desserts.

[Chris Distefano]

You get a little nervous when I hit it. Right?

[Paul Verzi]

Cake is.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just get. I could just. I got it in.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's in there.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it's in there. What are you gonna do?

[Paul Verzi]

Here's the deal. German food is Italian food food compared to England, in my opinion.

[Chris Distefano]

I agree with you in that.

[Paul Verzi]

I mean, England. I mean, I can't. Here's the deal.

[Yannis Pappas]

Blood pudding it's gross. Yeah, blood pudding's disgusting.

[Paul Verzi]

No, no, it's slop. The place got slopped. It's. How do they not figure it out?

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, London is.

[Paul Verzi]

London's one of the best. How do they not figure it out?

[Chris Distefano]

No, London, when you go to London, restaurants are good in London, but the British cuisine is dog.

[Paul Verzi]

Well, here's the deal. The restaurants are good because it's Indian. Cuz the Indian there is incredible.

[Chris Distefano]

Indians are good.

[Yannis Pappas]

Indian food is underrated.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh my God.

[Chris Distefano]

And you said Japanese cuisine. We were talking about this yesterday. Sushi is amazing. But then, moreover, in the actual country of Japan, Japan, specifically Tokyo, they get very good at one thing. So the best Italian meal you may ever have in your life might be from a Japanese chef in Tokyo, because they give their life to it. And when they're done, they kill themselves. We're not even fucking around. That's a very real thing that they do. They give their life to it. So he might be able to beat the Italian. No, no, from Brooklyn. Because he's giving his life to it. Laser focus.

[Paul Verzi]

And then if you have a nice veal parm with the pasta in Tokyo, you could say, buddy, you could kill yourself. Because you did it.

[Chris Distefano]

You did it. Yeah, you fucking did it. And I just think with chop sticks.

[Yannis Pappas]

And I'll just finish that story because there may be some people listening. We were in Montreal, Old Town. Me, him and David Lemon were walking. We see. And we walk into Old Town and.

[Chris Distefano]

Old Montreal, Old Montreal in.

[Yannis Pappas]

And Chris looks around and he goes, man, isn't this romantic? And then he looked at me and David. I mean, tyrannical man. And I. I fell. I laughed so hard.

[Chris Distefano]

I act.

[Yannis Pappas]

My body went limp. Yeah, I fell.

[Paul Verzi]

Sometimes you just have to go.

[Chris Distefano]

The beauty. I just got in the moment. I got in the beauty of. I forgot I was with a couple of dudes. Yeah, I just got. I just. It came over me. No.

[Paul Verzi]

When I was in Greece, I jumped into the sea and I. I was in the agnc. And the thing is, you don't have to struggle a lot. You don't have to like, even to stay up, even when you're in, you know, 40ft, because there's so much salt. So you're kind of just like. It's barely even like this. And you're just there. Then I let myself go and I was able to sit up and I. I think I caught myself saying, like, this is gorgeous. This is beautiful. Yeah, just sometimes when you look at the mountains in the water and you're there all of those words that you just have to. They just fly out.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

You just get a little gay. It's a gay moment. All right, Paul Verzi, check him out. Go, go watch Paul's Best Podcast. You got a nice roster. It's basically a podcast where people come on. It's a very positive, upbeat podcast.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah. So the new podcast is going to launch in September. It's called Paul's Best Podcast, where me and the guest, we just shoot the for like 10 minutes, but then we talk about the best of what that guest would know. So, like, Dan Soder was on. We love sports. We talked about the best live sporting events we ever been from a little kid till now. I had Pete Davidson on. We talked about best TV shows. So he's a Sopranos, Everyone Loves Raymond, Yellowstone, stuff like that. So my. I had to watch King on. We talked about the best watches in the world and how to negotiate that. It's such a fun. Every guest we've had has been like, I can't believe how fast and awesome that was. So that's coming out in September. Check out my special Reasonable man on. On YouTube. And guys, I have some theaters coming up. I'm going to be at the Royal Theater in Toronto. I'm going to be at the Edmonton hall in Newtown, Connecticut. I'm going to be at the Algonquin Arts Theater. All this is October, November, December. I'm going to a bunch of places in Texas and California. Paulversi.com Reasonable man streaming on my YouTube channel. Please subscribe. And all that stuff. And I have bone to pick with Bobby Kelly. Check all that out. Thank you guys for having me.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, thank you. Let us know we can get a North Korean. All right, guys, as always, you know, at the end of every episode, we encourage the fan to go to patreon.com history hyenas where all the magic happens. Our best work is there. And then when you join the Patreon, you give a funny name. We read it out. Best funniest name wins the PPW pseudo penis of the week. You can see your name up in lights.

[Yannis Pappas]

So we're looking for funny names. So you're going to help us think. If the names made you laugh, let us know you like it.

[Chris Distefano]

So here we go. Starting off, we got CCP president Waybron James. I think we've had this kid already, right? No, CCP president Waybron James.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's good, but it's a walked into.

[Chris Distefano]

One a little bit.

[Yannis Pappas]

So we're gonna. We're gonna Drex.

[Chris Distefano]

All right, we got Frankie Howard. Then we have Thomas Que Ferson. Okay.

[Paul Verzi]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got Chrissy gave me Eddie's on stage in Toronto. I guess I give somebody drugs. Cameron Diaz, Malakis Straight Walker, Riley Hemosura. Then we got freaking Ceiling Cricket Removal Service. Oh, Nick. Damn it. I walked into one.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, it's.

[Chris Distefano]

Sorry, but guys, we don't condone that. That's not okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

They are so creative, man.

[Paul Verzi]

Wow, that's a. That's wild.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, they sneak the racist ones past Chris. They always do. So they like.

[Chris Distefano]

They.

[Yannis Pappas]

They do sneaky ways.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got My Beautiful Eve Will never date an Umbrian. I don't know what that means.

[Yannis Pappas]

I don't know. Get that.

[Chris Distefano]

Sasha Dietrich, E. Jones. Michael Gearheiser, Lexi Montgomery. Then we got on the beam for the same team. I guess they're gay. Yeah, on the beam means like, you know, you're positive and everything. For the same team. I guess they're just a gay kid. That's it. Chicken finger. Chicken finger. We support that big time. Derek Deamer, David West Jones. Cammy Ramirez, Vinay Sachin. Then we got Chrissy Kippers and Poppy passovers are closeted Tr. Ruffle Toots and Frank Style.

[Yannis Pappas]

Paul just likes them all.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, Paul likes them all.

[Paul Verzi]

Okay, that one was good.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, Drexler. Drexler.

[Chris Distefano]

All right, Drexler. So then we got. Then we. Then we got Giannis's AI bot is trans. Okay. Neck brace, AKA Jewish turtleneck. Listen.

[Yannis Pappas]

That'S Next level is.

[Paul Verzi]

That's the funniest one.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's the Jewish turtleneck they said is the next break. Yeah, yeah, that is. That is that.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's gonna be hard to beat.

[Paul Verzi]

That's. Nothing's beating that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. So then this is probably the funniest things I've ever heard. This is probably a Drexler. Then we got. In Australia, we call Frisbees boomerangs. Okay. Then we got Grandpa's ding dong in a bing fong Ching Chong. Okay, Getting racist, Paul. Yeah, Paul, like we can't use you. No, you can enjoy it. Matthew Perrone. Tyler Buddy Jorge. Then we got can't have my own Bridget cuz my father's rip. Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

I can't have my own Bridget. He's called Bridget McCrone's man.

[Chris Distefano]

Probably I. Okay. Straight to the back of Chrissy's throat here for the tent.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a really good instead of honorary listed. He's going to lose.

[Chris Distefano]

He's going to lose. But we're okay. Joe Leonard. Then we got swimming through Adobo Fumes like I'm Leah Thomas Aon Tyler off the beam made me cream and yam mean. Lot of 14 we've had that.

[Yannis Pappas]

I want to give the Leah Thomas a direction. That's very funny. It means he's aggressively swimming.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah. Then we got Martin Leroy King Jr. Like, instead of Martin Luther King. Martin Leroy. Okay. Then we got two dicks and one ball. Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's a weird, weird piece.

[Chris Distefano]

You got Gregory Davis, P dunk 17 70. Then we got Quiet Anne's Attic, now serving biryani chrysants. Sorry. Victim of bad Read. Shawn Institutional. Then we got if you taste a horse come in your girl's pussy, then you know she died by horse riding. I don't get it. Okay, okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

It's what you call Went for it.

[Chris Distefano]

Fix my leaky roof with the Yuka app. History Is Metal. Ultimate Frisbee store in 1944.

[Yannis Pappas]

The Kid History is Metal does a lot of those Photoshops.

[Chris Distefano]

So.

[Yannis Pappas]

Shout out to you. They're very.

[Chris Distefano]

Shout out to you. Then we got Make Father Bill Cream to get on the beam. Brian Alvarez. IDF Infiltrated my ass. Now they call me Mikey the Frisbee Twinkie. Gene Edited CC Penis. Leroy the Strange Monkey. Just your typical oh.

[Yannis Pappas]

Gotcha.

[Chris Distefano]

Jesus Bastards. TT Jerry sold me a Venti fenty and made me VO vote lefty. Well, he votes the other way. Travis Stroop. 48 Laws of power Bottoms. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's really good. Put them on the list.

[Chris Distefano]

48 laws of power bottoms.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

At the book. 48 laws of power.

[Yannis Pappas]

That is a contender.

[Chris Distefano]

Even Roche, Michael Richard, Giovanni borgo, Chrissy D. Aka Julie Bowen's new fantasy Leroy. Ceiling Cricket tribute band. 4am Fire drill. Follow the White Ninja. Yo, bitch. Making my dad dick bigger. Okay. Launch my wife for Cooking Menudo on the fourth. That's a good one, Chelsea. Then we got Giannis Papus. The Almost Cyclopsis got a dui. Please sign up to My Only Fumes. Mason Determin, Ethan Petty. Straight to the back because I'm a taco monkey hiding from Ice.

[Yannis Pappas]

Drexler Sport Borderline. We gotta stop soon because we know who the winner is.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, all right, all right. Well, let me just get through this, the rest of this list, and then we're done. Pam Bondi's box.

[Yannis Pappas]

I like that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I like Bergavin. Tom Hardy's Hard on pissing Love chemicals. Weasel602 Bert hates. Okay, I don't know what they mean.

[Paul Verzi]

Ladder 14.

[Chris Distefano]

Then we got off the Beam. My synovial squat machine. Jimmy White. I was an altar boy. And boy was I altered.

[Yannis Pappas]

He had that.

[Paul Verzi]

That's a real good one.

[Chris Distefano]

The nerdy girly, true blue gay till Putin sings God bless the usa. Craig ass bangs Robert Am not Tyler Linden. Jeffrey the Muzzy with the Leroy Cuzzy Fume Fest. Yeah, you like that?

[Yannis Pappas]

First he.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you like.

[Paul Verzi]

These are great.

[Yannis Pappas]

These are our fans.

[Chris Distefano]

They're funny, Scottish cuzzy, cautious of muzzies. $3 bill. My therapist because I'm off the beam. Jared Lehman. Got knighted by mom Donnie at a halal cart. Now I'm running a sharia court at Dunkin Donuts.

[Yannis Pappas]

Put him on the list.

[Chris Distefano]

All right.

[Yannis Pappas]

Put them on the list.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Tampa Tony Sidepiece, aka TT Jerry J. Holtz. 1, 2, 3. I'm caucusing in the back room. Father Bill had JD Vance and Pope Francis to the Epstein's list. Okay. Michael Scarn. Call me the furor. The way I throw coins in the street to lead the frisbees out from the sewers like ants. Okay.

[Yannis Pappas]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

That's too much. Well endowed dreidel monkey assuring the public that there are some good ones among us. List. List. Okay. See, we got this. Good list.

[Yannis Pappas]

Good list.

[Chris Distefano]

Dakota Born was supposed to be 7 million Frisbees, but we haggle them down to 6. Okay, that's a holocaust. Not okay, we heckle them down.

[Paul Verzi]

Other. These fans are wild.

[Chris Distefano]

They are very wild. They're very unique. Fan base. Yeah. Hank 4k max. Then we got her story. Hyman's with Anus Poppins and Chris Duffahos. Danny King. The guy above me is gay. All right, that's just. Just about the apartment you live in. Yeah. Joseph David Montana, Reynal Gorey, Elliot Pertuso, Joey Heslep. Then we got My Jewish girlfriend hates me because I call her Small Boobs. O. Oh boy.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, no. Small boobs. A tits. Yeah. Auschwitz A nota boa. Rick Taylor Epstein flicked my bean. Now I'm off the beam. Weak squeak. Woke Cuck. Liberal school teacher. Fuck.

[Yannis Pappas]

Drexler, Nasally.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, God. How much did the Holocaust. Oh, Holocaust.

[Yannis Pappas]

They're so creative.

[Chris Distefano]

Creative, but yeah, creative can't do it. Matt, Zach, Barney, Butch, Flacity and the Sundown Kid. Which Flacity?

[Yannis Pappas]

Drexler.

[Paul Verzi]

Good.

[Yannis Pappas]

Drexler means almost good enough, right? Like he was born in the era of Jordan.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Yannis Pappas]

Almost.

[Chris Distefano]

Almost. Good.

[Yannis Pappas]

You would have won it.

[Paul Verzi]

Oh, you want you going by Clyde the Glide.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. Yeah. King Louie's broken bum makes me watch him jerk his gun. Okay. She Greeking on my yoga till I free on her dairy. Okay. I'm a Leroy with a leaky roof. Call me Radio. I guess that Cuba Gooding Jr. That movie radio. Right, Right. Then we got Mike Durst, Rose Bud Tanner. Right. Bryce Summers, CRN Bainbridge. And last but not least, Chrissy's HIV diagnosis.

[Yannis Pappas]

Funny. So, okay, so here's your finger for that. This is a great list.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a great list. I think we have a clear cut winner, but I'm going to read them all out. This is how we do it.

[Yannis Pappas]

This guy's like. He's like okc. At the beginning of this year, we kind of suspected.

[Chris Distefano]

They suspected. We thought somebody can make it close and maybe they have. Let me read them all out and then we'll see. Well endowed dreidel monkey assuring the public that there are some good ones among us.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's going to be Drexler.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay, so that's out already.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah. Good job.

[Chris Distefano]

Got knighted by mom Donnie at a halal cart. Now I'm running a sharia court at Dunkin Donuts.

[Yannis Pappas]

That we're going to keep that around.

[Chris Distefano]

That's a.

[Paul Verzi]

That's a finalist.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah, That's a finalist.

[Chris Distefano]

48 laws of power, bottoms.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's so good. Let's keep it around for now.

[Chris Distefano]

Keep it around for now.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Straight to the back of Chrissy's throat here for the tent.

[Yannis Pappas]

Very good, Drexler.

[Paul Verzi]

Yeah.

[Yannis Pappas]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. And then what feels like the OKC neck brace, AKA Jewish turtleneck.

[Yannis Pappas]

I mean, for me. Yeah, for me, I got.

[Chris Distefano]

Let me just read.

[Paul Verzi]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Let me just read out the ones that it is between.

[Paul Verzi]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

48 laws of power, bottoms, neck brace, aka Jewish turtleneck. Or got knighted by mum Donnie at a halal cart. Now I'm running a sharia court at Dunkin Donuts.

[Yannis Pappas]

That's a really good one to me. On any other day. That's the winner. We're gonna definitely drex through the power bottle.

[Paul Verzi]

The Jewish turtleneck. For me, it's just too. It's just too creative and funny. It's.

[Chris Distefano]

It's too good. Yeah. See your. Your people even. Yeah, that's it. I mean, I think I do. I think we know from the second.

[Yannis Pappas]

Unanimous.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a unanimous ballot. That's the first ballot.

[Paul Verzi]

You know what it is? It's a sweep in a series.

[Chris Distefano]

That's Mariana Rivera. Unanimous.

[Paul Verzi]

Game three was close, but it ended up being a sweep big time.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah. It's just what happened? So congratulations. Go to history. Hyenas is back.com or history hyenapod.com to see your name up in lights. Neck brace, aka Jewish turtleneck. You are the winner of this Week's Patreon names patreon.com history Hyenas, where all the fun and magic happens. It's go be a part of our community. It gets wild over there. And maybe you'll meet the Jewish turtle next.