Juneteenth Better Late than Never- Guess who else had slaves | History Hyenas

Summary

Podcast Summary: Juneteenth Better Late than Never - Guess Who Else Had Slaves | History Hyenas

Podcast Information:

• Title: History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas
• Hosts: Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas
• Episode Title: Juneteenth Better Late than Never - Guess Who Else Had Slaves
• Release Date: June 19, 2025

Episode Overview: In this episode of History Hyenas, comedians Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas explore the historical significance of Juneteenth, blending humor with insightful discussions. They delve into the origins of Juneteenth, the pivotal role of Opal Lee in its recognition, and the broader context of slavery in American history, including lesser-known facts about Native American involvement in slavery.

Sections:

1. Introduction to Juneteenth The hosts open the episode by acknowledging the importance of Juneteenth and its recent establishment as a federal holiday in 2021. They set the stage for a lively and informative discussion, promising a mix of history and humor.

   • Quote:
     • Chris (00:05): "Juneteenth became a holiday in 2021 when Joe Biden said, yes, we're gonna do that. We're gonna finally recognize this celebration that had been happening underground in black communities, especially in Houston, for a long time."

2. Historical Background of Juneteenth Chris and Yannis provide a concise history of Juneteenth, explaining that it commemorates the day in 1865 when enslaved African Americans in Galveston, Texas, were informed of their freedom, more than two years after the Emancipation Proclamation was issued.

   • Quote:
     • Yannis (15:07): "A quick brief history of it is basically in June 19, 1865, the Civil War had ended, slavery abolished, thankfully. And the people in Galveston, Texas were supposedly the last group of slaves to hear about them being free."

3. Opal Lee: The Grandmother of Juneteenth The discussion shifts to Opal Lee, an 89-year-old activist recognized as the "grandmother of Juneteenth." They highlight her dedication in walking across the country to advocate for Juneteenth's recognition as a federal holiday.

   • Quote:
     • Chris (21:53): "She walked all the way to D.C. and later she was dubbed the grandmother of Juneteenth by President Biden, who codified Juneteenth as an American holiday."

4. Challenges Faced Post-Emancipation The hosts examine the continued struggles of African Americans even after emancipation, including violent resistance, lynchings, and the refusal of some Native American tribes, like the Chickasaw Nation, to grant freedom or citizenship to formerly enslaved individuals.

   • Quote:
     • Yannis (31:23): "After Juneteenth, freed black people were still attacked or even re-enslaved, well into 1866."

5. Broader Context of Slavery Chris and Yannis broaden the conversation to acknowledge that slavery in America wasn't solely perpetrated by European-descended Americans. They shed light on Native American involvement, specifically the Chickasaw Nation's participation in slavery, modeling their practices after the American South.

   • Quote:
     • Yannis (33:25): "The Chickasaw Nation modeled their economy directly after the American South. They said, we will have slaves do the agriculture. That's what we're gonna do plantation style."

6. Representation of African Americans in Media The hosts critique the portrayal of African Americans in early 20th-century media, particularly referencing the 1915 film "Birth of a Nation." They discuss how the film perpetuated racist stereotypes and contributed to the resurgence of the Ku Klux Klan.

   • Quote:
     • Yannis (61:08): "The film 'Birth of a Nation' portrayed black people as lustful towards white women, which was inaccurate and harmful. It was a blockbuster hit and helped reignite the KKK."

7. Modern Reflections and Implications Reflecting on the historical discussions, Chris and Yannis examine the long-term impact of slavery and racial violence on African American communities. They highlight the resilience and faith that helped the black community persevere through these challenges.

   • Quote:
     • Chris (56:04): "Faith is what got them through, and it makes them a soulful people. That's why they're so good in the arts and everything like that."

8. Comedic Segments and Listicles The latter part of the episode features a comedic segment where the hosts create humorous and satirical names. While entertaining, these segments provide a contrast to their serious discussions on Juneteenth and racial history.

9. Conclusion and Call to Action The episode wraps up with the hosts encouraging listeners to celebrate Juneteenth respectfully and to educate themselves about its historical significance. They also promote their upcoming live shows and Patreon page, fostering continued engagement with their audience.

   • Quote:
     • Chris (22:45): "Going to celebrate Juneteenth is about freedom for all people because we all won one."

Notable Quotes:

• Yannis (68:51): "We paved our own streets, literally." – Referring to the Freetown community in Houston.
• Chris (11:29): "Faith is from Jesus." – Emphasizing the role of faith in African American resilience.
• Yannis (56:46): "Memories are inherited. You inherit some of your mother's trauma just in utero."

Conclusion: In this episode, History Hyenas effectively blend humor with education, providing listeners with a deeper understanding of Juneteenth's history and its enduring significance. Through engaging storytelling and critical reflections, Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas highlight the resilience of the African American community and the complex legacy of slavery in the United States. The episode serves both as an informative discussion and a call to honor and celebrate the strides made towards freedom and equality.

Transcript

[A]

Guys, this episode is about Juneteenth. Sorry it's a little late, but it's.

[B]

Juneteenth which was late.

[A]

It's just what it is. You are going to hear a wild episode. It is laugh out loud funny. We get into some pretty wild conspiracy theories and you're going to find out who else had slaves. Surprise, surprise. Wasn't only the whites come see us. July 2nd we have a live show at the live History Hyena show at the Comedy Store. It's almost sold out. July 2nd, New York City. Be a part of it baby.

[B]

Yes. And for our dates, history hyenas is back.com and we list on off the cities at the end of this episode. Enjoy this wild one and happy I guess pride month and Juneteenth. Hey everybody. Welcome to the History Hyenas new episode where today we're just going to be two white guys talking about Juneteenth. Now today I came in right on time but I shouldn't have. I should have been a little late to celebrate Juneteenth.

[A]

Yes, yes, that's what I thought. And I thinking normally these episodes come out at 11:00am Eastern Time on Thursdays but we've asked Jesse to put it out at 11:45.

[B]

Now take that as you will. Either that was a joke about black people being late or it was a joke about Juneteenth which actually happened two and a half years after the Emancipation Proclamation.

[A]

That's what I was going to say is before you hit your racist buttons, just know that that was a joke about being late. Juneteenth. Nothing to do with blacks has everything to do with. They relate to the game of freeing the slaves.

[B]

If you want to interpret it that way, yes. If you want to interpret it another way. We welcome all. Yes, we welcome all.

[A]

We welcome all. We want everyone to live and survive and thrive. We're not Israel.

[B]

Racists and non racists living side by side. We want unity. We want people who are for America first and we want people who don't want Iran to enrich uranium.

[A]

It's just we want them all to.

[B]

Live to shop at the same deli.

[A]

It's shop at the same deli and it is a beautiful thing. I had the pleasure, the pleasure of going to New Mexico this weekend. I went down to Santa Fe, New Mexico, the state capitol. I got a picture in front of it. That is the 31st capital I've got a picture in front of cause I do have low grade autism, so. But what was really nice was it was that no Kings Day, you know, where like that. No Kings protest. So it was nice to see a protest in front of New Mexico. Cause I did get a chance to see the trans people of New Mexico thriving. So yeah, I saw a few trans. It's. It's wild thing to see a trans Native American guy. And I was like, what? Cuz. Yeah, I don't know what was happening, but I did see my first trans Native American and it was wild.

[B]

Yeah, well, there's something that a trans Native American woman and a regular native woman, Native American woman share in common. And that's if you take them on a date. So don't get them alcohol because they just don't have the enzymes to be able to deal with that. It's just what they are the same.

[A]

They are the same. And to be a trans Native American, what they do is they don't fully cut their penises off. They just scalp them.

[B]

Lad 14.

[A]

Well, just what it is.

[B]

You see that one coming. Well, just like Iran didn't see the bombs coming while they were going through negotiations with the United States and Iran decided to fucking just get bombed.

[A]

Yeah, it's true. What?

[B]

Israel decided to just go in there.

[A]

Just go in there. Israel just did what we call a little sneak attack.

[B]

Yeah. Now I don't want to know anything about it. Everything is fine. I just watched WNBA this weekend.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And listen, I just watched those types of bombs because Caitlin Clark was dropping bombs. And the only thing that could stop it is if the Liberty had an iron dome, which doesn't seem to be working too good on Telegram Tel Aviv. We're trying not to talk about Iran. We're trying to celebrate Juneteenth. But it's hard when you got World War 3 and fucking gay pride taking the headlines. Can't we just celebrate what these people had to go through? Or no, do we got to put the gays and the fucking Jews the.

[A]

Front of the line? What it is.

[B]

These people went through hell.

[A]

They did go through hell. They did go through hell. Now we are here. We are here to escape reality. That's why you come to this podcast. We are an escapist podcast. We will sometimes touch on current events, but we like talk about history. We're escapist podcasts. And. And the people have asked, why, if Giannis loves the WNBA so much, why hasn't he been invited to any games? Because the problem is with Giannis at a WNBA game is he will run on the court and start licking their feet. So that's the problem is why we can't have him in the building. He just watches from afar. He's actually been escorted out of multiple Liberty games because he's just trying to sniff their shoes.

[B]

The problem is I put my resume in to be a locker room attendant for the Liberty, but they did a little research into me and then they knew I'm just trying to get in the shoes.

[A]

Yeah, trying to get shoes, cuz. And you know what's interesting with you with your glasses. Yeah, with your glasses, you are what we call an oxymoron because you literally look like an Iranian and an Israeli at the same time. And nobody knows if we're. If what side you're on, because you can't, because you do. You. You are. You're a Netanyahu. You kind of. You're an Israeli. Iranian. That's what it is.

[B]

That's what I am. Now, when you went to New Mexico, you were on a plane. Did you feel proud of yourself by how tight you pulled that seatbelt? Cuz. Because right now you're the size of a lady. You're skinny. You look like you're dropping weight for a UFC fight. You look like you're dehydrated to make weight.

[A]

Yeah, it's what it is. Cuz I'm dropping weight for an arm wrestling fight. I'm dropping weight for slap fight now. Cuz here's the thing. It's skinny. My cholesterol was 300, like a Spartan. I mean, they literally, the cholesterol got too high. So what I had to do is make little adjustments to make little adjustments. Like, Jesse today bought the room egg and cheese sandwiches. And I said, what I'm gonna have to do is just look at that and sniff it. And then I'm gonna have to. Instead, I can't eat that. I'm gonna have to eat one of these puppies, which. I don't travel anywhere without these. Now, no cow bars. These are. These are cholesterol friendly protein bars that I just eat all the time. And I am constipated because I'm taking too many supplements because.

[B]

Do you know what I see when I look at you right now?

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

I see somebody who's wobbling. Yeah, I see a wobble.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, I know you got one ankle on the beam because your foot is slipping. So it's an ankle that's actually on the beam.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But guess what, baby? I'm the strings that's gonna on that beam. You're a tightrope walker and I'm here to save you. I'm the Net.

[A]

You're the Net because you are Yanni Netz. You're Yanni the Mat. Because it is very interesting. I've never done a history in his podcast where I know that you see me as sitting physically here in front of your camera, but really I am falling off the beam. I am currently on, but I am like this wobbling off. I'm Chrissy Wobbles because make absolutely no mistake, we got a court date coming.

[B]

Because the legal system, they just know your name by now. Do you walk in like Norm? They go, Chris, you're, you're in courtroom too. Yeah.

[A]

They'll say, christy, what's going on?

[B]

They say, you got three today. Like you have sets.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'll do is I'll look at my sketch. Yeah, I'll say today you got an.

[B]

8, 15 and 9, 50 to 12.

[A]

Yeah. Because yeah, we're going Brooklyn Queen, Staten Island.

[B]

That's what it is.

[A]

We just got, we got to get in different places. But you asked me what, you asked me what I have for breakfast. Cuz I'm going to tell you what I've been doing. Yeah, I'm going to tell you what I've been doing. What's been changing my life. Now, I haven't gotten my cholesterol checked in two months, so I don't know, but I can almost tell you from a spiritual place, my cholesterol is down. I know my numbers are going down, right? Here's what I've done. I used to have a bacon, egg and cheese or some type of egg and cheese every morning for breakfast. And now what we've done is we've brought, we've, you know, as you've said many times in this podcast, it always comes back to the Greeks, right? Foggy yogurt. Yogurt has zero percent foggy yogurt. Zero grams of cholesterol, zero grams of saturated fat, 19 grams of protein.

[B]

That's because it's made of. Guys, come.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

It's all protein.

[A]

It's. And I was, I believe that it is because saturated fat is the real thing. Dietary cholesterol has been proven time and time again that it's not that that's not really the problem with cholesterol. Saturated fat, which, that's the cheese, the oils. So what I do now is this. I do a little, little yogurt, okay. Do yogurt. I do berries. Okay. I do a scoop of vegan protein. Athlean X Vegan protein. I love the guy Athlean X. Shout out. Jeff Cavalieri, kids. Absolutely jacked. And he does look like. He looks Native American. If you ever see Athleanx. I mean, this guy just looks like Geronimo on steroids. Yeah, he's jacked up, but he's not on steroids.

[B]

It's natural, kids.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Your kids look Native American, too.

[A]

Yeah, my kids do look like Native Americans. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So. So what it is. So I do that. I do the scoop of that. Then I do blueprint, you know? You ever heard of blueprint? Robert. I think it's Robert Johnson, the guy who's like the longevity guy. He's trying to live forever. I take his. He's got a cocoa powder because it's got. I think it's. What is it called? Polyphenols. Whatever the thing in red wine is that helps with your heart.

[B]

Grapes.

[A]

Grapes. I don't. I love grapes, but I don't put grapes in there. Then I put a little cinnamon in, and I mix it all up. A little touch of honey. And I have a nice big bowl of yogurt. And I work out. Cause I work out hard today. I work out. So here's how I know I'm getting good workouts in. My nipples are itchy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When I work out real hard, I get itchy nipples. I gotta rub Vaseline all over my nipples every morning.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I'm getting too skinny.

[B]

I've said it many times. You're an enigma wrapped in an oxymoron. Wrapped.

[A]

It's just what it is. It's just what it is.

[B]

It's an oldie but goodie. If you were here for the first round. I think I called you that before.

[A]

Yeah. It's what it is.

[B]

You're a Russian doll of goodness.

[A]

Ye.

[B]

Yeah. And you look good. You look healthy. We know your cholesterol's down. And that was your Beamcast loophole special right there. Because you gave the people a little breakfast that keep them on the beam. And it's a loophole because it gives you your sweet tooth.

[A]

It gives you my sweet tooth. And it is a loophole. We found a loophole. You're right. We're on the beam cast. And also, one thing I want to say, what I want you to go out today and do is what I want you to do a little exercise to stay on the beam is I want you to treat every single person you meet, whether it be family, friends, or strangers, I want you to treat them and. As if they're going to die at Midnight. And you'll watch how much your life changes. Treat every single person you meet as if they're going to die at midnight. And you give them your time, you give them your energy, and you give them your power of love and your positive responses as if they're going to die at midnight. And you tell me if your life doesn't improve, baby gorgeous, it will. Yeah.

[B]

And I will add an addendum to that. My little beam cast of the day, is that to be free, you must have faith. Yeah. Faith is an important part of freedom.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So when we talk about Juneteenth and we talk about what kept this community of Americans going.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It was faith. For centuries, they were enslaved. And then after they were enslaved, they were redlined. They were segregated. They were terrorized by white dudes in bath sheets.

[A]

It's what it is.

[B]

It's what happened.

[A]

It's what.

[B]

They were raped.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Unfortunately, the DNA says that there was a lot of grape juice. Yeah, yeah. I said it was a lot of. There was a lot of grape juice happening.

[A]

It's just what it is. And. And I like to use that word, faith, not hope. A lot of people use hope all day. Hope is for people who don't work hard. Hope is for people who aren't really serious about getting to next level. Faith is where it has to live. You have to bring Jesus Christ into your hearts and that he comes to your hearts through faith, not hope. Hope is from the devil. Faith is from Jesus.

[B]

I like that. I like it.

[A]

Yeah. That's why if I have another daughter, I'm going to name her Faith because she'll be half Puerto Rican. So that's. That's what their names are.

[B]

So that's just what it is. We went and had barbecue food on Father's Day. And again, nice little African American girl befriended my girl. Cause we're at a barbecue restaurant. So there was a bunch of African American families. And her name was Alaska.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And her sister's name was Lyric.

[A]

And that's just what it is.

[B]

It's just what it is. They just pick great names. Her name was Alaska.

[A]

Alaska is a great name. And it's an ironic name to name your black child Alaska because there's none of them there.

[B]

That's exactly right. You're just not in that location.

[A]

There's just not black people in Alaska, because black people, it's what you want to name them.

[B]

Atlanta.

[A]

Atlanta, yes. And the thing is with black people, and it is just a beautiful thing, and it's a cultural thing. Is they just don't like being in the cold.

[B]

They don't.

[A]

And. And. And that. And. And white people like being in the cold, and I don't like being in the heat. Black people like being in the heat. We all have. We all have. We're all alike and different.

[B]

We all make up different pieces of the hive.

[A]

Because that's the thing is, remember, we are all bees in the same hive. You cannot hurt someone else without first hurting yourself. So all bees in the hive, some of the bees are black, some of the bees are white, and some of the bees are yellow. And the bees that are yellow are just baby making sure. They're just kind of watching the black.

[B]

They make all the honey, and they do it cheap.

[A]

They do it cheap. And the yellow bees are kind. And the yellow bees are kind of just, you know, watching a million of them. The yellow bees are just a lot of yellow bees. What it is, because I didn't want.

[B]

There's a lot of brown bees, and there's a billion of those.

[A]

Yes. And there's a lot of brow bees. And some bees have. And some bees are. Were. Be one where one type of bee at birth and then they transitioned through another type of bee, and they just have a different kind of honeycomb.

[B]

They just got a different honeycomb. And then there's another type of bee that has little frisbees on their head, and there's not a lot of them, but they got nukes.

[A]

Yeah, that's just what it is. Then you have the frisbee bees.

[B]

Yeah, they just got hats on. Then you got bees with hats on. But dare we say today we are going to talk about Juneteenth right in the middle of pride month. We don't want to stop your Yas festival.

[A]

No.

[B]

But the blacks get one day on June 19 that they celebrate. This became a holiday in 2021 when Joe Biden said, yes, we're gonna do that. We're gonna finally recognize this celebration that had been happening underground in black communities, especially in Houston, for a long time.

[A]

A long time. Now, Juneteenth was established as a holiday. June 19, 2021, first federal holiday and 40 years up till that time. And I think it's a beautiful thing. Some people say that it was only put as a holiday during that time because of the civil unrest that was happening. You know, George Floyd riots had happened some time before that. We were still in the throes of COVID and they said that's why they made it a holiday. And some people say that's conspiracy. And I don't think that's a conspiracy. I think sometimes things just happen. You know, things happen. Causal, cause, cause and effect will happen. And now I'm happy that this holiday is here. I'm happy that June 19th exists. It's a. It's a federal holiday. Kids get off from school, we can party a little bit. Banks close. It's a real nice thing.

[B]

Yeah, it's a federal holiday. I just want to know, how do whites celebrate it? How do we get in on the fun? What we bang the drum? What do we do?

[A]

Well, what I do do I put.

[B]

Cuts in my eyebrows.

[A]

I like to do is because June 19, you know, a quick. We are going to get into the history of this, but a quick brief history of it is basically in June 19, 1865, the kind of slavery had, you know, the Civil War had ended, of course, slavery abolished, thankfully. And the people in Galveston, Texas were supposedly the last group of slave slaves to hear about them being free. And a Union soldiers came in and. And told the people in Galveston, Texas, the slaves like, hey, you are free. And then they were emancipated. So what I like to do is on June 19, being a white person is I like to go and tell the black people in my community that today is 6-19-14. If I just go around spreading the good news.

[B]

Right. Yeah.

[A]

I spread the good news to my black brothers and sisters, say, hey, today's June 19th, so you can go do whatever you want.

[B]

So you got.

[A]

That's our role as whites. Because that's what our roles as whites were back then.

[B]

Yes. So we're talking about a particular general named General Granger, not to be confused with the former Indiana Pacer. Donald Granger.

[A]

Donald Granger. This is General Gordon. Union General Gordon Granger.

[B]

Yeah. And he showed up. And he showed up with 2,000 troops or 6,000, I don't know. But a lot of them were African American.

[A]

We're revisiting a lot of things. We're revisiting a lot of things in history now as. As life evolves. So we're not sure if it's 2000 or 6000. We're not sure if it's 6 million. Just jokey wokey, yo.

[B]

What happens is we're just kidding around when you're. When you spend a lot of time waiting for fires. Yeah. You got a lot of time to talk. Yeah. Let me tell you about this guy named Schmitty. Yeah, this guy can talk. Yeah. I'm telling you, he could have been Rush Limbaugh Yeah. I mean, this guy can shoot him off.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we're in there, and the other night, me and Patty are sitting there. Yeah. Schmitty goes, you know, they throw around his 6 million number.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But he goes, I don't know if they. If you do it mathematically. Yeah. He goes, if you take a look at the Mathematic, I'm an expert in fire.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He says, I'm an expert in fire.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You can't burn that many. Yeah, okay. Right. They're not as oily as the Greeks or the Sandies.

[A]

He said to us, I was there. I was there in the firehouse. I was making chicken carbonara at the time. And I was there at the firehouse, and I said. And I was watching Meals by Koosh because he was doing a nice video over there.

[B]

I love that guy. And I love the other guy.

[A]

Little Moments.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

Yeah. I was watching the video and Meals By Coughing. He was over there, had his head down. Nice. And he was talking about his sister's ass and all, and little Momo, and he was making a nice chicken carbonara. And moment. Little moment. Torella was just beating people with semolina breads. And I said, we're having a good time here, and thankfully, there's no files.

[B]

And.

[A]

And I said. And he. What he said was. He said, if there's 6 million Jews. If they burn them all. Yeah, if they burn them all. As you, Schmidt. He said he's exper. Yeah. Wouldn't there be any type of smoke residue? Wouldn't we see. Wouldn't that change holes in the ozone layers?

[B]

That would have changed.

[A]

Tell me what. The real numbers.

[B]

How did it happen then?

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's all his point was. How did it happen?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So he. He did his mathematics, and he says he doesn't think it's 6 million. That's all.

[A]

That's all. Because he said, you know, he's been reading history books, and there's always a different number.

[B]

Yeah. He said by reading history books, he means he's been watching Candace. Yeah. He loves that fucking show.

[A]

So he's been reading. He's been reading A Reinterpretation in History with Charlie Kirk of Candace and all these guys. And he said that if there's always a different number.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Every time I look, there's a different number. It's like, what's your real number?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like, every time I'll go to five contractors, and they'll always give me a different number.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So.

[B]

So he said, like, you're dealing with a Greek painter.

[A]

Yeah, he said, so, so what the is the actual number? Just like. Then he bridged all that together. And he said, and what this kid, Larry Finkelston, what's his name? Larry Silver Finkel, what's the kid? Larry. Larry Finkelstein, who's the president or whatever. How did this guy all of a sudden take out a policy, an insurance policy, the day before 9, 11, all of a sudden he took an insurance policy out of the World Trade Center. How did he know?

[B]

Yeah, the guy Schmitty's just got a lot of questions. That's just what happens in the firehouse. And so you know, you got, you take it up with Schmitty.

[A]

That's all it is. And that's what he said. So it's just. Well, yeah, this is line of four.

[B]

He's got a lot of questions. He said there's not an iota that can be done about it. Yeah, there's just some things that don't add up.

[A]

It don't add up. And he did tell us that Epstein is in the Mossad, which is the Israeli CIA.

[B]

That's what he said.

[A]

And he said he's got the President and everybody, the high ranking American politicians, got them all in their pocket and that we're really just a puppet state for Israel.

[B]

That's what he said. That's all he said. He said, listen, they don't register as a fucking, as a pac and that they donate the most money to the candidates to get them elected. So everyone's for fucking sale in America and there's nothing in iota can be done about it.

[A]

Just can't do it. And he said that maybe Iran is. This really isn't all war.

[B]

Yeah. Said maybe America first. This is the last chance he's given to Trump, otherwise he's throwing him in with the cucks. Yeah, it's just 14 what it is. That's just what Schmidt, he said.

[A]

That's what Schmitty said. So. Yeah, so. Oh, oh, by the way, another thing that I do now, it's just a part of me is I make sure every 20 minutes I get up and I do 10 squats just to keep the synovial fluid going in my knees.

[B]

Okay, you do that.

[A]

Just keep going and I'll keep.

[B]

Get the snow, get the snow.

[A]

Go ahead. Yeah, I just got to get it down.

[B]

So Juneteenth was secretly celebrated in communities, especially in Texas, where it was not. It was not appreciated all too much. Celebrations were not all appreciated too much. But I Just want to fast forward to how it became a holiday because it's very fascinating.

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

We're Talking about A89, I believe, year old woman.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. She decided now her family.

[A]

What was her name?

[B]

Her name was something, something.

[A]

Can we find her name?

[B]

Shirt was like Tashika.

[A]

Here. It's right here.

[B]

Yeah, Here. Lyric, Alaska.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Go to Yanni's notes. Go up, go up. Was it we want to give. Was it Harriet Smith?

[B]

It was Harriet Tubman. No, it wasn't that. No.

[A]

Oh, here we go. Yeah, here she goes.

[B]

She was nine. She was 89 years old.

[A]

Just Google the 89 year old woman who significant.

[B]

So what she decided to do now, her family, they moved into a white neighborhood or whatever. It was burned down.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They decided to not get vengeance, but to move.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Now what she learned from that was she's gonna battle.

[A]

Her name was Opal Lee. She's the grandmother of Juneteenth.

[B]

Yeah. Opal Lee considered the grandmother of Juneteenth. Now she says when her family's house got burned down by white supremacists, her family, her parents, told her that we are not going to fight with vengeance. We're going to fight with endurance. We're going to perseverance.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

So they moved and they kept going. So she wanted to send a message of perseverance, of endurance. So what she decided to do at 89 years old, is set out to walk across the country to Washington D.C. and she did 2.5 miles every day to represent the 2.5 years that had passed between the Emancipation Proclamation and Juneteenth.

[A]

Yeah, I respect that.

[B]

Yes. So. And she walked all the way to D.C. and later she was donned the grandmother Juneteenth by President Biden, who codified Juneteenth as an American holiday. And. And she was ecstatic when this happened.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And she was ecstatic. And she says Juneteenth is a celebration of freedom for all people because we all won one.

[A]

And now I. Congratulations to Opal Lee. 2.5 miles every day for however many days that took to walk all the way to Washington D.C. she did not hit her 10,000 steps that way, though. She just. To get to 10,000 steps, you're going to have to hit four to five.

[B]

Miles if we're going to have a critique. Yeah, that's like you want to do a little more than 2.5 to get to 10 steps. Also, this was a perfect mix. Missed opportunity for a great shoe advertisement. Like, what were you wearing, Opal Yes. Like, this is the 2.5 March to make Juneteenth, a holiday brought to you by New Balance. What was on your feet, girl?

[A]

I want to know.

[B]

What kind of orthotic was she wearing? Orthotics.

[A]

Newbies.

[B]

What was it? Was it ons? Was it New Balance? Or was it Air Max? Now, she was black, so I can only assume it was Jordan.

[A]

It's what it is. So I think, though, that this is a story like, Opal Lee. Why is she not more well known? Like, why is she not on?

[B]

Because of gays.

[A]

It's.

[B]

That's. They just. The whole fucking month.

[A]

I love gay people. I really do. But Opal Lee. Opal Lee should be. I mean, what she did, this lady did in 2016, in our lifetime, she walked 2.5 miles from a day from Fort Worth, Texas, to Washington, D.C. to raise awareness for this beautiful holiday, Juneteenth. And nobody really knows about her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because. So why is she not a synonymous name? Like, why do we know? Why do we know other names?

[B]

Because.

[A]

Not hers.

[B]

Because of the trans struggle. I'm just gonna be honest.

[A]

Why did the Democrats get my coffee silent?

[B]

Why did the Democrats think it was a good idea for the past four years to tell white people that were struggling and poor that on top of that, it was evil that they were white? Just being white, and then they told black people, you know what? Your struggles. Your struggles. Bad. But guess what? We really got to take care of these gays.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, it just didn't work as a. As a. What is the word I'm looking for? Strategy.

[A]

Strategy didn't work as a strategy. Yeah, it's just. It's. It's one of those.

[B]

We should be celebrating Opal Opali.

[A]

I want to have Opali Month, or at least an Opali night. I want to have an Opali night at Citi Field with the Mets. I want to. I want to get my Pride night shirt, but I also want to get my Opal Lee shirt. I want to get my Opal Lee shirt that sponsored. Most likely by Waffle House. Yes. I want to just get it. And I. And I. But I like that, you know, it's sponsored by Waffle House. And. And. And it's just. It's a nice shirt. Yeah. And it's just one of those things. We can only buy it on the Cash app. And it's just support. It's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's supportive.

[B]

Yeah. It's just supportive.

[A]

I like Opali, and I like this story, and I like finding out these stories. But I do feel like, you know, why does it take me to be sitting here as a part of a history podcast where we choose to do this research and then we find these beautiful stories? Why doesn't my daughters know this? I'm gonna teach my daughters about Opal Lee. But why doesn't everybody learn about Opal Lee?

[B]

Yeah. I'm saying I love the gays. I really do. We love all people. But I just think a month is a lot. It would be nice if it was just a pride day with a couple parades, one early show where you could bring the kids to, you know, where it's just the guy who plays Doogie Howser holding the Heineken, waving Tim Dillon on a float. Something a little more conservative for the children, maybe Anderson Cooper in a Patagonia.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Something nice before you fucking pull out the furries in the asshole at midnight.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, who's running the pr? Don't you want to. Don't you want to get the people who disagree with you to be like they're not that much of a threat, but you're out there in a fucking dog collar getting walked around by another guy whose ass is out, and you think that you're going to win over America, and then you take a month. Yeah, I mean, you just. You give them an inch and you take. They take it a mile. When really it should be, hey, these blacks, give them some more. Dude. When you find out more about their struggle, you're going like, you could hide being gay. You can do it. You can't hide being black. I mean, these people, they got freedom. And then that's just when the nightmare began.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[B]

A bunch of white guys put on bath sheets and start chasing them around. Yeah.

[A]

And what Yanni's basically saying, in a nutshell, it's the gays fault Tehran's getting nuked.

[B]

Ladies, Hong Kong.

[A]

We'll be right back after this break.

[B]

Brought to you by some sponsor we don't care about. Yeah. Cause let me tell you something right now. I've been using acorns for many years, and now acorns early is very great because it helps you teach your kids about investing and money, and it gives them a little something of their own.

[A]

My older kids are 14 and 10, and I want to. I've always wanted to teach them about investing because we never really learned it in school. I never learned it until I became an adult. And acorns early, I have them both on. It is the perfect place to do it. It's a smart money app and debit card for kids that learn. That helps them learn the value of money. We've been using with the kids. And I can see that they're still spending a lot of my money but they understand it's hurting daddy. Yeah.

[B]

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They can spend. Kids can spend what they earn with their very own debit card so they understand the value of money. Like it's easy when some, you know, Grandma gives $20 bill for Christmas that they don't know. But when they say acorn debit when I put that 20 onto their account and then they go to buy something at five below and they can't buy it. Well, this is why you got to learn the value of money. What you spend is coming out of your account.

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[A]

It's what it is because the whole family we're saving up for some iodine because you never know for getting nuked. So head to acornsearly.com hyenas or download the Acorns early app to help your kids grow their money skills today. That's acorns early.com h y e N A S Acorns early card is issued by Community Federal Savings Bank Member FDIC pursuant to license by MasterCard International TNC supply monthly subscription fee starting from $5 per month unless canceled.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cause you don't Rock hard.

[A]

Yeah. Blue Chew baby. This episode sponsored by Blue Chew. I love that you guys are sending me those rock hard Blue Chew. I love to open up my DMs and just see it. And like I've said every time we do this ad I know the ones that are Blue Chew because they're bigger and vayner and they got the American flag on them because those tablets are made right here in the US when.

[B]

You bang with could just chant usa USA the whole time.

[A]

Absolutely. Cuz Bluetooth tablets are awesome. It is all done online. No visits to the pharmacy. I mean no visits to the doctor's office. No no waiting in line at the pharmacy, no awkward conversations. You literally just go have a. You set it up on zoom with the doctor, tell them the problems, and then boom, you get Bluetooth sent discreetly right to your door. You just consult with one of the licensed medical providers and you get approved. You get the prescription within days.

[B]

Yeah. Make life easier by getting harder. And discover your [e-mail] and we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try your first month of BlueChew absolutely free. When you use the promo code Hyenas, just pay $5 shipping. That's promo code HYENAS. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Bluechew as always for sponsoring the history Hyenas. What you really got to think about is imagine being just. They didn't have WI fi back then. They had no way of knowing. So you got to imagine that the emancipation process lasted a long time. And there, of course, these slave owners, they wanted to get one more cotton season. They were trying to squeeze one more freebie out.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

They were trying to squeeze one more freebie.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

So they didn't tell the slaves. And it was a very complicated. It was like when you take a shit, you know, sometimes you think you're going to get. You're going to get that clean shit where you don't got to wipe. That's not how slavery ended. It was many wipes.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That had to get rid of that.

[A]

They did not have it. And their asses were not clean.

[B]

No.

[A]

They could not get to 100 clean ass for years.

[B]

Yes. It took a long time. And then it was complicated in different places. You know, some slaves, what were they going to do? Just leave the plantation and start with nothing?

[A]

Right.

[B]

A lot of slave owners tricked them and said, hey, okay, we'll pay you a wage. And then they never paid them. A lot of slaves were scared to leave because they didn't know what to do. So they just stayed there. Yeah, it was a. It was a whole mess. And then you had people terrorizing them. And then when they celebrated Juneteenth, they were shot.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I mean, there was 800 lynchings, I think after Juneteenth.

[A]

1866, which is the year after.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Civil War ended, which is more in.

[B]

I think of just in text, if I have that correctly. I don't know, we may look it up, but that means it's more than two lynchings a fucking day.

[A]

And here's the thing, folks, is it wasn't only the whites White people. I will agree.

[B]

Primary offender.

[A]

Primary offender.

[B]

Yes, for sure.

[A]

Primary offender. Whites were not good at. Were not great. Whites were not good. But also slavery. The last country, first world country to end, it was Brazil in the 1880s. So really, if you really want to blame. And then. I'm going to get into my point in a second, but if you really want to blame slavery on anybody, you know who the real culprit is? The Spanish from Spain. The Spanish from Spain were white. Are the ones who brought over African slaves from Africa to these countries to Europe and then through here. They were the ones who started. So I like when it's convenient when Spanish people from Spain are Spanish when they want to be Spanish and then white when they want to be white.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

So, like, they're like, oh, no, we, you know. Oh, no, we're Spanish people. We're on the good side to fuck the wife.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, no. You brought slaves here. Pieces of.

[B]

Yeah, pieces of caca, muerta. What do they call it?

[A]

Bassoura.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So now we're rewriting history, and the Spanish are bad, bad, bad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So. But here's another group of people that were bad, bad, bad. Because again, here's the fun little tidbits, the little kind of pieces of history, the things that history is written in a way that people want to write it so they will just tell you and every kid that it was all whites and white people are bad. And again, there is a lot of truth to that, but also mostly truth. The Chickasaw Nation. Whoa. The Chickasaw Nation. Native Americans, who are mostly in the Oklahoma Territory at the time, they enslaved Africans from the late 1700s all the way through the Civil War and a couple years even beyond that. So Native Americans, you know. I know. Oh, smallpox. And we killed the Native Americans. That's true. But also, there could be pieces of shit, too.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. Because people will be people.

[B]

People are people.

[A]

So they modeled their economy. The Chickasaw Nation modeled their economy directly after the American South. They said, we will have slaves do the agriculture. That's what we're gonna do plantation style. Slavery, just. They just did it with bows and arrows and the feathers on their heads.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But it's the same type of white, evil slave owner that you hate. The Chickasaw Nation was that same exact guy, just a little tanner. And they fought for the Confederacy during the Civil War. And the Chickasaw Nation, they formed this ally with the Confederacy because they wanted to protect slavery, their own interests. And then after they were the Only native nation to never sign the treaty that abolished slavery. They would not abolish it. And then after June 19, 1865, Juneteenth, the Chickasaw refused to grant freedom or any type of tribal citizenship to the formerly enslaved people. And they would not do it. It wasn't until 1866 when the US government said, Listen, you don't start freeing the slaves and you guys can't sell cigarettes. And they said, all right, we're gonna end slavery right now because we want to sell these white motherfuckers cigarettes in Arizona. Iced tea. Yes, we want to sell them big. So they refused, but they refused to recognize the freedman as a tribal citizen. So this is to Yanni's point that just because they said, boom, you're free, these African American people had a lot of danger all around them. And I saw us, I actually saw a video that this was from a interview from a man who was a slave. This was in the 1920s, so he was a slave, you know, in the 1860s. But this was. Or maybe even before 1920s if the audio was kind of wonky. But he said, when I was in the South, I actually wasn't treated as poorly by Southern people as I was Northern people. Northern people call me the N word. Northern people told me they were going to hang me. They wanted to light me on fire. The Southern people treated me like property. And the Southern people said, you know, we don't want to hurt our own property. So that's not great. I know, I know. Just that, you know, talk about being.

[B]

Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah. Just that, you know, that they were property is obviously one in itself. You've taken away their freedom as human beings. So that is the worst thing. But I'm just talking about very specifically their day to day. This man was saying, if you listen to the rules, you wouldn't get hurt by the Southern people because they were like, why would we hurt you? We've paid for you. Where the Northern people were like, I don't like you because you're black and they would want to hurt you no matter what.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Some people.

[B]

So they were basically saying, like, some of those whites, right. Treated them like we treat our iPhones now. We care of them. Yeah, we love them. We love them. We freaked out if they were missing.

[A]

Yes. Yeah, it's just what it is. And also, also speaking of iPhones, just real quick, just let me just go off on a little tangent. You know, a lot of you people, a lot of you people out there who go to all these protests and want to cause traffic in the Santa Fe, New Mexico area and make me almost late for my show. You know, a lot of it, A lot of these things that people do. You know, you have this selective outrage. You have this ability about you that cares about some things and doesn't care about other. You're complicit in some things. So you're okay with the iPhone, slave labor, that your iPhone, which you love and cherish, is made by slaves in Asian countries and Saudi Arabian countries. But you're okay that you'll say, no, this is fine, but then you'll go protest some other things that you don't think benefit you in the way it should. So it's just a little interesting to me how certain people, you just pick and choose what you're mad at. Okay. And it's a little bit annoying where it's like, if you're going to be all in, then be all in. Be at that protest with a fucking rotary phone. Don't be at the protest with your cell phone that was made by slaves.

[B]

That's. You know, that pipe's a little rusty. Yeah, it's a little rusty because it hasn't been pulled out a lot. But you just pulled out. You knocked around a few heads and.

[A]

I just knocked out a few heads because make no mistake, when I get below 220, which I guess I'm 219 right now, the steel pipe comes out. Sometimes when I'm over 220, I'm a little too fat to swing the pipe. But now that I'm under 219, the pipe is out there and it's just, you know what I. But do you know what I'm trying to say?

[B]

I know what you're trying to say.

[A]

Like a little truthy woothi, where it's a little bit like what? You know, there's everything, There's. There's a problem with everything in the world. Yeah, there's a problem with everything. And listen, I'm not saying I think that protesting is great. It's a great liberty and freedom that we have. Go try to do that in Iran or Russia.

[B]

Just do it on the sidewalk so.

[A]

We can drive and you'll probably get hurt. But I also know that a lot of these protests you claim are about this cause are really about you. That's why you're filming it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's why you have to make sure there's a record of you being there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's why you're live streaming.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's about you. You're a narciss. Yeah. I've been outraged. Outraged at things the government has done and things that have happened in this world. I've never went to a protest because I got more important shit. Okay. I got to do things. I don't have the time on my hands.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To get out there. Okay. So just know that I know you're full of shit. Just know that I really know you're full of shit. I'm not knocking what you're doing. I understand you got to get out there. You got to fight for what you think is right. But just understand that if you do it all with an iPhone in your hand, then you're supporting slavery. So who are you, really?

[B]

Just know that. You may think you're fooling everybody, but there's one guy who's currently under 220 who's got the same Mets jersey on that he always wears.

[A]

And by the way, let me just make it clear.

[B]

Walk around with a pipe.

[A]

Walk around with a pipe. And let me just make it absolutely crystal clear that I am wearing this Mets jersey. And the main reason I'm wearing this Mets jersey is because it is my Piazza, and I support Pride Month because he's a gay guy.

[B]

That's what they say on the street.

[A]

That's what it is.

[B]

That's what they say in the streets.

[A]

So people say, oh, Chris. Oh, what are you, a Yankees fan? One day, Mets fan the other day. No, I'm supporting Gay Pride. It's June. I'm wearing a PIANT jersey.

[B]

Now. Often we do history in a fun way, and we don't want to tell you what is and isn't.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We want you to go and learn for yourself. Read books. We're here for fun. But what Chris just told you is what we call a truth baiter. Ginsburg. And now I'm going to hit you with another one. Please. Okay. On that same theme, this blew my mind when I found out that the last Confederate general to officially surrender was an Indian guy named Stan Waitey who surrendered his command. So he was still fighting the war. Yeah, he was still fighting the war till June 23, 1865. So four days after Juneteenth, he was like, okay, okay, okay. So these Indians really took a liking to that system and didn't want to give it up.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[B]

They just. He was a brigadier general in the Confederate army, and he was the only American Indian to reach the rank of brigadier general. And this kid was like, I'm not giving up. This feels good. He's got a little power. It's just to give it up.

[A]

It's just what it is. Stan Wady, which was probably not his birthright. Native American name. The kid converted to white and he went with Stan Wade.

[B]

Yeah. His real name was kind of Wind, Fire, Dust.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And Dirt.

[A]

His real name. Yeah.

[B]

He was Wolfman I Load.

[A]

Yeah. His real name was Running Slaves. What it is. Yeah.

[B]

And if you look at a picture of the guy, he does not look white. I mean, he. He is a Native American. I mean, that kid is as Indian looking as you can. I think he just changed his government.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

From Running Slaves to Stand Whitey. But yeah, his original name was probably Running. It's Running Slaves.

[A]

Running Slaves, which is a 10. It's just a 10. And it's just. It is just what it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's just what it is. And the thing is that when you go to New Mexico, it is almost impossible to tell apart who's Mexican and who's Native American. You almost can't do it. The only way I was able to do it is the Mexicans had tattoos on their legs and were hitting their girlfriends.

[B]

Yeah. Well, there's an easier way to tell them apart.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

One's going to offer you a churro stick and the other one's going to be asleep on a curb. Wei Song Xi ain't. What it is is Ladder 14. That's what it is what it is.

[A]

Yeah. It's just Schmitty says, but I did, I did. I really do just want to shout out New Mexico and what a great state it is and how great the people are there. It really is. If you've ever been. And Santa Fe, New Mexico, is the oldest state capital in the country, by the way. It was built in the 1600s. Wow. So it's pretty dope. And. And it's really cool place to be.

[B]

And it's good that you got your thing.

[A]

I got my thing.

[B]

You got your thing. You have that thing that every someone on the spectrum has.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Where they keep track of something that other people could give a shit less about. So some people like to count bird feathers, coins on the floor. You're a kid who just needs a picture with every state capitol.

[A]

I just need a picture with every state capitol. Yeah. And I just. And what I do is. And what I do is I just take a bunch of them. I just take a bunch of them and I just pick what's right. And that is just the face of someone who has autism.

[B]

Autism, that's it. Look at you.

[A]

Just if someone who has autism. Yeah, I just asked my guy to just take a bunch of them and I give thumbs up. And I. And I was wearing my hat on. I was wearing my hat on that. What does it say? What is my thou shalt not surrender from the USS Lincoln. And I was wearing my hat on. And the good thing about being in New Mexico and wearing a hat on like that is there's a lot of armed services there. So when you wear on that hat, everyone just assumes you're in the military. And I was able to pre board early on Delta flights.

[B]

That's a good move.

[A]

Just walk it up with that hat. They said, any U.S. military. And you don't have to say anything. You just show the hat and they say, sir, thank you for your service.

[B]

That is a nice, what they call loophole loop. So go get yourself a nice veteran hat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And just walk up to the front when they say it. You don't have. If you're in coach, but you don't want to wait. Just, just put on a US army hat and just say, just walk.

[A]

But it's confident, but it has to limp in the south or southwest states. That's where the army, you know, military will get on first in the north states. Then you just have to wear some type of rainbow flag. You can get.

[B]

Then you can get on.

[A]

North, you wear the rainbow flag. The south, you wear the American flag. Either way, you can pre board on Delta flight.

[B]

Yes, you can.

[A]

Now let's talk about. Jesse, if you could pull up. Do you have something else that you go on? I want to talk about some of the conspiracies. Oh, you know what? Before we do any of this, because I want to get into some conspiracy theories about Juneteenth, let's listen to a message from our sponsors that we don't care about Harry's. Yanni, you love Harry's. You talk about Harry's a lot. You're always telling me that you're shaving with Harry's.

[B]

I love Harry's. Harry's is a good razor. It's very nice and it's personally what I just happen to use.

[A]

Yeah. And go ahead. Sorry. I was just gonna say, you know why my favorite part about Harry's?

[B]

What?

[A]

The blades are all engineered in German.

[B]

I know that you love that part.

[A]

Yeah. I just like that because I have.

[B]

German heritage and that's what makes Harry such a good razor is because, you know, the Germans can engineer things. That's what they're good at.

[A]

They're very, very good at engineering and plates.

[B]

Yeah, they're very good at that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And right now you can get a $10 trial set for only $5 at Harry's.com history hyenas. An exclusive offer for our listeners. I love them because just easy, man. You know, you're gonna need new blades constantly because they get dull. And Harry's just makes the process very easy.

[A]

And they got the five dollar, the five blade razor with that weighted handle and that foaming shave gel and the travel cover for just 5 [e-mail] history hyenas I like it, cuz. Cuz everything think, you know, this is the world we live in. Everything's automated. Nobody wants to go to. I got to go to cvs. And the blades are beyond bulletproof glass.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't want to do it. I don't want to wait for some, you know, attendant to come over, take some 20 minutes because he's high on edibles. Dealing with this because we got to put our things beyond bulletproof glass because this is the country we live in. So Harry's is good because the razors just come to your door. Yes. You just get them.

[B]

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[A]

What's up, everybody? I'm Chris Stefano.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[B]

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[A]

Get pegged with a cigar. So here's this. There's some conspiracy cuties. This is a conspiracy cuties. Part of the episode which Yanni and I have so much fun with with is that we take some conspiracies about whatever topic we're talking about and Juneteenth has a couple of them. One of the ones that I thought was very interesting was that Lincoln really didn't care about any of this at the Emancipation Proclamation. It didn't free all the slaves, just the ones in Confederate states. Did you know that little truthy wuthie? I did the emancipation. So like if you were a slave in the north because some of these. Because four states, Delaware, Maryland, Kentucky and West Virginia, even though they fought with the Union, they still slavery was still legal. So you weren't free if you were in those, you were only free in the South.

[B]

Yeah, there was those pesky border states.

[A]

Right. So, so he didn't free all the slaves. And it was more a military strategy than a moral act because he thought that this is what was best to preserve the Union, not that he cared. Now it's kind of a half truth because it really distract Juneteenth. They say the conspiracy is that Juneteenth was just a time to distract how the north actually profited from slavery and how freedom wasn't truly granted. It had to be fought for even after the war. Because it's interesting that we are taught that this was only about slavery and it was mostly about slavery. But not only about slavery because as we said, these Union states that fought with the north, the good guys, some of them were slave holding states. So it's a very interesting fact. And then the other one that I liked was that not liked at all. That's just a truth about this that we kind of touched on. One was that the angle, there's a like a deliberate angle of Juneteenth that is under taught because again our history teachers, our Curriculum, our education system, which was made by John D. Rockefeller, which we've talked about many times in this podcast about how he's instituted a worker mind kind of only know what you're supposed to know mindset so we can have people working as American factories. That really. That there was a lot of violence associated with Juneteenth. And very shortly after Juneteenth, that there was a lot of violence, resistance from Texans who were enforcing emancipation. So these Union soldiers, General Gordon, was going down there to emancipate people, and the actual white Texans of Galveston and the surrounding areas were fighting against this emancipation. They did not want this. Many freed black people were attacked or even re enslaved after Juneteenth, June 19, 1865, well into 1866. And I think that this violent downplay is like a. It's like a history erasure because they don't to want. Want. They don't. Our government, for whatever reason, does not want to let you know that America can be pretty bad too.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You know, they were freed, but they, you know, they still. They got the. The. The slave owners were tricky and they figured out new ways. They're like, here's some labor contracts.

[A]

Right. Well, that's why even children, even. So immediately children under 6 years old were freed. Even like the emancipation. So you got freed right away. But if you were over six years old, you weren't freed. Your title was just changed and you were now called an apprentice. Yeah, but that's all that was. But you were still a slave.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You couldn't do anything. So there's a lot of these things that kind of, you know, happen in history. You're like, huh? Like there were a lot of lynchings in the north too, yo. Yeah, it was just not good.

[B]

I mean, Pennsylvania's got a lot of. I mean, the KKK was like living still large in. In Pennsylvania 100, which is like the home of the Quakers, who never wanted.

[A]

Pennsylvania was northern states to make slavery illegal. Yeah, because here's the thing. The British slavery being a problem started to bubble up in really the late 1600s, 1700s. Like Britain outlawed it, I believe, in the 1700s. And then other states and other countries started happening in the 1800s. But again, Cuba, Brazil and the United states in the 1860s all had. Slavery was legal. So again, Cuba, Brazil, you know, not white people were enslaving people. So I'm not.

[B]

Those were white people too, down there in Cuba. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So.

[B]

And Brazil and Brazil.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So.

[B]

So. Yeah.

[A]

Well. But are you saying. Because Cuba had Jews. What are you saying?

[B]

I'm just saying the opposite of what you said is true. But that's okay. That happens once in a while.

[A]

No, but Cuba and Brazil are not. They're Latino.

[B]

Yeah, but. Yeah, they're white.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah, but what I'm saying. Speak Spanish.

[A]

I'm not. I'm not the white.

[B]

The slave owners down there were white, just like in America.

[A]

I'm not excus. Using what this country did with slavery. It was awful. But what I am saying is it wasn't only the whites with slavery. I'm just saying, like, it. It's taught to our kids and it's taught in history that white people are bad, bad, bad. And we definitely are. White people definitely have been in history bad, bad, bad. But they've been as bad, bad, bad as many other people in history where it's just the most recent.

[B]

Blacks enslaved each other in Africa. Native Americans slaved each other as slavery. White people were enslaved. Enslaved by Arabs.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That part is true. But when it comes to chattel slavery, I'm going to have to say you're going to. We're going to say mostly white. By mostly, I mean almost all. With a few exceptions.

[A]

With a few exceptions, but with a.

[B]

Few Native Americans who just like the lifestyle.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm just saying, overall. Right. You know, I'm just. Basically, what I'm trying to say is shouldn't.

[B]

June, you're on the ice.

[A]

I'm on the ice. But shouldn't Juneteenth really just be celebrating us? I mean, we're the ones that told us them.

[B]

Lad 14. I mean, it's like, what about the people who told them?

[A]

Hello? I mean, you should thank God. I mean, thank God Helen Keller didn't get the news. These people would have never found out.

[B]

Yeah, it's just. It's like the underappreciation. Yeah. The other appreciation of the person who.

[A]

Spread the news on Juneteenth on this day. Can I just at least get a thank you for the African American machine?

[B]

I never thought about that.

[A]

I'm just saying.

[B]

Yeah, I never thought about that. I never thought that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just.

[B]

I never thought we were gonna take the car and reverse it out of the driveway. That you were going. And end there. And end there.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't, but. Because when I'm up 220 things just happened.

[B]

And by the way, drive through a while.

[A]

I took you to a drive through. And then what also has happened, 46 minutes is this beautiful podcast is my Low dose has kicked in, and I am back safely on the beat.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I know what you're trying to say. Right. And obviously that's what you were trying to get. Yeah.

[A]

We're just being fun. We're being silly willies. But, you know, it's just. It's just an interesting angle we just like to take because you'll.

[B]

It's definitely an interesting angle.

[A]

You'll hear all about. You're going to hear all about Juneteenth today on different history stuff. And you don't need us to just tell you about the history. You probably already know or you absolutely should know. But also, let's just have some, you know, some alternate theories and some alternate ways to celebrate this.

[B]

And we also want to know what kind of sneakers Opal was wearing.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I want to know if she had orthotics in or. No. Yeah, I mean, what. I mean, did she change shoes? I mean, that's a long walk, and it's sweaty and it's hot.

[A]

It's just.

[B]

One of your feet must have stunk.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's a long walk, but, I mean, that is a hero. She's 94. I think she's 94 now.

[A]

She's still alive.

[B]

And this happened in 2021.

[A]

She has good cholesterol. She's got good cholesterol eating faji yogurt in the morning with a little protein.

[B]

Yes. So basically, I mean, the theme of this is that black people persevered.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Not just through slavery. That's the thing. People always want to go slavery. The great Louis CK Joe joke is. It's one of the best jokes, dude. I think he told it on a late night show where he's like. He's like, white people always want to add years to how long ago slavery was. Like, that was like 400, remember? Because you always hear that it was like 400 years ago. Get over it. It's like, no, it wasn't.

[A]

Right.

[B]

First of all, it was like 160 years.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then he says, he goes, that's like two old people living back to back.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was not that long ago.

[A]

He's right.

[B]

It's like 160 years ago. And. And. And then it wasn't like slavery was over. And it was just like, the next thing you know, LeBron James was making a billion dollars.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That didn't happen like that. In a lot of ways was just as bad or worse.

[A]

Right.

[B]

For them until, like, you know, it's now it's really.

[A]

I was Gonna say they didn't have an easy ride. It's really only like in recent history that we've been alive in where I think black people are getting us. Like they're there. It's. It's truly equal. As close to equal as it's ever been in life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is now it wasn't in the 60s and 50s there was still a lot of problems. Oh, you were free.

[B]

70S and 80s, same thing.

[A]

Like we said in the. In the very immediate History of. In 1866 African. African Americans were still getting killed in the streets.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So like that just again, it just didn't stop. Now we are in a much better place where we could say that I believe our children are growing up in a world where there is the closest to true equality there's ever been. And that's a good thing.

[B]

Yes. I mean it's just recently that you're starting to see black billionaires and an emerging middle class and a generation of people who like have a little less anger. But I mean this was an unbelievable amount of trauma in a very short time. And it was very disorienting.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I mean, you know, one of the things that's downplayed a of lot hot is the graping. I mean.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like because they did this is another truth Bader Ginsburg that you know, it's so horrifying that you know, I think it's overlooked. They don't teach it in schools, but I mean African Americans have about 20 to 25% European ancestry.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So that's a lot of graping. That is, that's a lot of graping. And I think that that was just kind of. Of part of the control, you know that what they did, okay, they had anti literacy laws. So you were killed if you read it was against the law for a black to read. They also gave him a slave Bible. There was something called the slave Bible.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Which is another truth. Beta Ginsburg. A slave bible was a version of the Bible that they gave to slaves that justified, you know, like slavery off awful. They. And. And they just graped them and.

[A]

And cuz what we know about what. What we've talked about, what you know, modern science is proving is that memories are inherited. You inherit some of your mother's trauma just in utero. That's a fact. So a lot of there are. Are. Are black people alive right now who have inherited trauma and memories all the way from back then. So that's a reality. That's a truth. Bader Ginsburg of. Of someone There are people alive today that kind of live those things, even though they haven't. So that argument of, oh, well, you didn't live back then, or a black person, you know, is. Is. Is saying something about it. It's like, well, maybe they haven't physically lived back then, but the memories could be in there. The trauma could be passed down generation to generation. All that is real.

[B]

Absolutely. It's. It's passed down chemically, and then it's passed down with your conditioning. Just the way your parents react, their worldview, and on every layer of being a human. And this is passed down. And then I just want to stop. Take a stop at 1915.

[A]

Let's stop in 1915. That's where my hair is.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, your hair is. Yeah, your hair is.

[A]

I got a little haircut, though.

[B]

You look good. Yeah, you look good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, you look good.

[A]

You'd like me to put a few pounds back in my face?

[B]

Well, it just. Your features get very sharp when you lose weight.

[A]

Yeah, they get very sharp.

[B]

You have a head that's supposed to be on a bulky guy that's. That's built for hurling.

[A]

Hurling?

[B]

You're a German kid who's built for hurling.

[A]

Yeah, I'm built for hurling.

[B]

And hurling certain things.

[A]

Yes, Hurling certain things. And the. The fact that whenever I go to a country and compete in hurling, I always like to pick a stone. That is about the weight, average weight of whatever the citizens of those countries are. Because I like to hurl people.

[B]

Yeah. If you were. If you were alive during the 1930s or 40s, I think based on your family's lineage, probably.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think you guys were in the Castles because you came to America, you moved to Ridgewood, and you became Union guys.

[A]

It's just. What.

[B]

So if you were around during that time, I think your job would be with the shovel and coal going in to keep certain boxes hot. It's just plain.

[A]

But make absolutely no mistake, I would feel really bad about it because I'm the type of kid that I just want everyone to be happy. And I want to remind you to go out there and every stranger, family or friend, family member or friend you meet is you treat them as if they're gonna die tonight at midnight and.

[B]

See if your life doesn't give.

[A]

And you tell me tomorrow if your life didn't get a little bit better.

[B]

Okay, 1915, we're taking you to. It's a little film called Birth of a Nation. Now this is 75, 85, 95. How many years after 1865.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

A lot of time.

[A]

Let me do this.

[B]

50 plus fucking years.

[A]

Wait, 35, 130. I'm going to say that's 150 years.

[B]

After 50 years. Now, this film was a blockbuster in America.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Equivalent to 60 million in. In revenue.

[A]

It was like their version of Barbie.

[B]

It really was. Yeah, it really was their Barbie. And this is where the country was in 1915, way after slavery was. Was eradicated.

[A]

And I just want to say real quickly, Margot Robbie has absolutely no fumade. And I am in the program.

[B]

I will slurp her poop. It's just what it is, just what I'll do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's what it is.

[A]

And she is gorgeous. And I don't even care if she's addicted to Vicodin or whatever pill she's on. I just want to be there.

[B]

Oh, that just makes it better.

[A]

Yeah, it's just what it is.

[B]

So the. The film Birth of a Nation, which, you know, everyone's heard about, but what it was was a film about a. A black dude chasing a white woman. Woman. And. Yeah. And she essentially, he. She's chased to this cliff. Right. And she chooses to kill herself rather than to honor. Kill herself rather than be defiled by this crazed black guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the Ku Klux Klan ride to the rescue. And it portrays black people as lustful towards white women. And, you know, it was inaccurate because the white women in the film were under 170.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's just.

[B]

So. It's just not true. If it was a big white girl, I could assume there may be some truth to it. If she was 220, 300, maybe Zach can see some black guys listen after her.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[B]

But. So this was shown in the White House. It was a hit. And it was white actors in blackface who played freed slaves who threatened the purity and order of the south while the Klan rides to save the day. So this reignited the clan because the Klan had faded. It was formed by. In 1866. Yeah, right. Right after reconstruction. And it inspired the second Klan in 1950. 1915.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And our president, Woodrow Wilson, praised it as like writing history with lightning. Yeah, that's the President of the United States gave it an applause break.

[A]

Yeah. This. Now, was it remade? Jesse just pulled up a trailer of Birth of a Nation from 2016. Was the birth of a Nation remade?

[B]

They may have redone it. I don't know. Did they make it with black people?

[A]

I was gonna say they did Four.

[B]

Deaths in a funeral.

[A]

I would assume that they redid it, but they redid it, like changing, you know, like making basically the bad guys white and the good guys black.

[B]

That would be great.

[A]

That's what they did. Well, that's why that movie Sinner is great. A great movie and like number one on the box office hits because the white guy, the Satan is played by white guy.

[B]

Yeah. I'd like to see Birth of a Nation remade by Quentin Tarantino.

[A]

Yeah, it's what it is.

[B]

Great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's two things he loves is a black hero and the N word.

[A]

Now, if you want.

[B]

That's his perfect movie for him right now.

[A]

If you want to see the original version of Birth of a Nation, as Yanni was referring to, you can just go to fandango.com, put in that promo code, hyenas and get half off. Just get it.

[B]

This is just an example of how long blacks had to just endure. I mean, slavery ended, but it didn't really end.

[A]

Can I just tell you one thing, too?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

These. See, I really. I had a layover this weekend from my flight from New Mexico in Atlanta. There was no straight way to get from New Mexico back to New York. So you have to layover somewhere. And I laid over in Atlanta. And I just want to say that Atlanta, which is, I would say, the most prominent city for African Americans, the first and foremost, amazing people. The staff, it's mostly Delta hub. The staff, who's predominantly black at the Delta Lounge and just the Delta employees of there are amazing. I mean, it is fun. The women, Black women. When I was in Atlanta, I saw five or six of maybe truly the most beautiful women I've ever seen in. In public, like the most gorgeous black women, where you can't. Like, you. Like, you're like, I'll do anything. I mean, absolutely beautiful. But what was. What's. What I love about. One of the things that I love about. And this could have just been these people, but it's quite often I see this when I'm around especially older black people is the anxiety that you feel about offending at all times when you're around white people. And I can't say this. And oh, my God, I can't say that black people are just more about. Because they have much bigger problems. Again, as we've spoken about at least length today, the trauma that they went through. I saw this black guy, older black guy, working at Delta, walked up to a black female working at Delta and he goes, and. And this is just how he sounded this is not a stereotype of black exes. This is just this very specific guy. He was like. He was like, yo, yo, what up, baby? You still my wife? And she was like, what? She was like, I was your wife 10 minutes ago. He goes, yeah, but, you know, you still my wife, girl. And she was like, what is your actual wife going to think? He was like, she don't got to know nothing.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

And. And then they laughed and just high fived. And then this other woman came by and she was. I think his name was Ralph. She was like, is Ralph messing with you again? And she was like, you know, Ralph just likes to play like that. He was. And then she was like, baby, I know. I love Ralph. And I said to myself, just that interaction, which in a white community is a sexual harassment claim. Someone's going to try to get money. And, oh, my God. And I was, you know, the trauma of this and bullshit is just three black people just being like. Like, he's an old guy. Old guys are creepy. They make creepy comments. He didn't touch me. He made a stupid comment, and that's it. And I move on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was just like, they have, like, there's not stress around everything with. With. With the black people that I got.

[B]

Bigger things to worry about.

[A]

Exactly. So I think that's something beautiful about that where it's just like, they're old school. And I just. I took that moment, I was like, this is good. I feel. I'm not saying, go on sexually harass your co workers, but I'm just saying there's certain moments where the guy was just messing around, and she was like, oh, yeah, happy Father's Day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's like, he wasn't, you know, he was just being, in his opinion, friendly.

[B]

I think what we can learn is when you learn how much they went through. I mean, the only thing that got them through is faith. Right. So what you learned is Juneteenth happened, and then white people in Texas didn't react well. They lied to their slaves. They knew about the Emancipation proclamation for two and a half years. They said they tell them about it. Then when Juneteenth came in, they. They. They hanged them. They made arrangements with them. They manipulated them. They did all types of things. But faith carried the black community through. Faith is what got them through, and it makes them a soulful people. And that's why they're so good in the arts and everything like that is because they believed in a greater force that was going to. To make them free One day. And that's why I love an expression that I watched in this great documentary about Juneteenth. They said, in a lot of ways, faith is a big part of freedom. And I thought, you know what? That's true. Because if you don't have faith, you're imprisoned in some way, right? You're imprisoned by fear, anxiety, skepticism. So faith is a big part of freedom. So you have to have faith, because at the end of the road, you come. It's either your choice. You're either gonna have to choose faith or fear. And that's just how it is. You gotta choose faith, baby.

[A]

Choose faith all the time. That's why I have faith tattooed on my back at the bottom of the crucifix.

[B]

Yeah, that's what it is. And that's. That's why big, you know, that's why faith made a song with P. Diddy. I don't know what. Yeah. Faith Evans.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I want to say about this last historical fact, a little truth braided. Ginsburg, we like to give you a few of these just to end the episode. So after Juneteenth, right, the blacks had to figure out how to be free, right? Because it wasn't. They were in a hostile place. A lot of them moved. They tried to go north. They went to Houston. A lot of them went to Houston. Now, in Houston, there's a historically significant African American neighborhood that grew out of the aftermath math of Juneteenth and emancipation. It's one of the oldest and most culturally rich black communities in the city, and it's called Freetown. Freetown. It's a story of freedom, resilience, and ongoing erasure. Now, Freetown was founded by formerly enslaved black Americans after emancipation started in the late 1860s. Located in the Fourth War just west of downtown Houston, it was built literally by hand, including brick roads laid by free freed slaves themselves, many of which still exist today and are now, like, historically protected. And that's where they went and they celebrated Juneteenth. They owned everything. They. They built black churches and. And jazz started to thrive there, and blues started to thrive there. And to quote one of them, he says, we paved our own streets, literally. And they're trying to drive over them like they were never there. So they want to preserve that area nice. And it was a very important place. It's a living symbol of how freedom didn't come with support, but black people built it anyway.

[A]

Preserving freedom, that's what we got to do. What a beautiful time. Now we are going to do a Follow. We're going to talk a little bit more about [e-mail] history hyenas and we're also going to talk to you about Iran at patreon.com history hyenas but not Iran. Current day Iran back in the day and the history of those people.

[B]

But it was Persian before the muzzies showed up.

[A]

Exactly. So that's a fun, wild off the rails Patreon. And of course, at the end of every episode, we honor and read out the names of the newest members of the matriarchy, the Patreon who went to patreon.com historyainas and joined our beautiful fight for freedom. So as always, the best, most funniest name will go become our PPW pseudo penis of the week. And that can be seen@historyness is back.com as well as Yannis and I stand updates which we're coming all over.

[B]

And once we get our together a little bit more, we're prob to give you some sort of T shirt or something for winning this.

[A]

Yes, 100%.

[B]

We just got to get our merch store together.

[A]

Yeah, it's right. Yeah.

[B]

We just built our infrastructure. Much like the emancipated blacks.

[A]

100%.

[B]

We were enslaved by being off the beam. We're back on the beam.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we. We're just building Freetown.

[A]

It's. We're building Freetown. I want to. I want to thank Fuhrer Trump for giving us back our freedom. Okay. Welcome to the matriarchy. Horatio, master of self fellatio. Very good, Very good.

[B]

I'm gonna Drexler right off the bat.

[A]

Okay. Mark Payton, Miles Cooney, John Lasoza, Corey Smith, sauce monkey with the bucatini weenie.

[B]

I'm gonna drex for that as well. Two strong drexes. I just in my gut, I feel like we got better coming.

[A]

Bucatini weenie was good though.

[B]

We got better days coming.

[A]

Then we got John Hill, Opus Nasty, Bob Woods, Tate Tahara. Then we got My only fans funds, my hot dog habit. Okay. Drexler, Blake Wright, AJ Emmanuel Jackson, Gaz Dust, Joe Manis, Will Travis, Edwin Wilson, Zach Kanye's cousin. Not the one from the song.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Okay. Then we got Please don't beat me boss chicken.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got way Sean P. Diddy took my lunchbox. Now I walk funny. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Seth Davey China hacked my grinder. Now it hurts when I pee like ip. I like it too.

[B]

Too creative to not give it to Drexler.

[A]

Okay. Corey Dryden, southpaw, Sasquatch Biggie, Warren Diddy, Molesting Mo Problems.

[B]

Really good Drexler. Yeah, it's a heavy Drexler list.

[A]

Zilla because they're a building's worst nightmare.

[B]

Wei Song Xian. The walk. So good, though.

[A]

Can't do it, though.

[B]

So good. Good.

[A]

Then we got.

[B]

So good.

[A]

Then we got PBR with a straw. John Curless, Girth, Wind, and fire.

[B]

Put him on the list.

[A]

Okay. Girth, wind and fire.

[B]

Yeah. Instead of earth, wind and fire. Girth, wind and fire. His dick. His dick is. Comes with a fury.

[A]

Then we got Shavin would be free. Walk in a W. That is not true.

[B]

That is not true. I like that little scolding. Yeah, that's. That is not true.

[A]

Wean, Lex, Ricky, Tango. Then we got help. I took a shot of baby oil at the white party. Now my throat's glued shut. And I testified tomorrow.

[B]

Put him on the list. Wouldn't it be funny Sketch just like a teacher who has a class full of racist people and they're just saying things like, that teacher's like, that is not true. And they're just overwhelmed. And that is also not true.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that is.

[A]

That is not okay.

[B]

That is not okay.

[A]

Yeah. My friend Jamal's father's favorite actor is Keanu Lee Reeves. I don't know. Okay. Christopher Peterson. Troy Chartier.

[B]

Oh, wait. Oh, my God. I get it.

[A]

Oh, Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves. Yeah.

[B]

So he's saying his friend is Asian and his father.

[A]

No, he's saying my friend Jamal's father's favorite actor is Keanu Leaves. Because he's saying he left. He doesn't have a father. Right.

[B]

Keanu Leaves. I thought it was Reeves. And he couldn't pronounce the R, so he called it leaves. Keanu Reeves.

[A]

Ah, Is that it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Either way, it's.

[B]

It's over our head. Maybe it's over our head. And when one goes overhead, they get mad at us.

[A]

Mad at us. And we're sorry. Like.

[B]

Yeah, Shout out Leroy. Ceiling Cricket. Yeah. With that has become.

[A]

Sorry about that.

[B]

I heard. I heard. Now that's become like thing they just constantly. Yeah.

[A]

On the page us with it. Yeah. Then we got Kyle Anderson, Osama Bin Carson, Genghis Khan licked my dong. It's what it is. Kevin's girlfriend saw Chrissy D. Crack open and clean out Herman.

[B]

Okay. What, did you bang a guy?

[A]

Guy Kevin, you forgot about no clean out Herman. I don't know. Here. From my cuties with smoothies, which we're going to bring back. Yeah. Call me Char Gluterie board because I'm for the table.

[B]

That's a really good one.

[A]

Char glutery.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Very fun.

[B]

We're going to Drexler it.

[A]

Kenneth Dick, Angel Guzman, Carlo Aros, Andrew Galinsky, Harrison Beckett, Tanner Hart. Spray your. Spray your bibbins. Spray your bib into the hot glue gun in my chocolate Hamas tunnel. I'm sorry.

[B]

Victim of a bad race.

[A]

Sorry about that. Real fans using Ticketmaster. Straight to the back. Okay. Romanian, not Romani. AKA Caravan Monkey.

[B]

Put him on the list. I like that.

[A]

Genghis Just here for the content. Nice. Funny, creative. That was good. G. Lo. Sean B. Sackless balls. That's funny to just have chicken. Open air ball.

[B]

Just open balls. Just. Just levitating on their own.

[A]

Joe Early. Sister Mary held open my fanny pack for the Lord's blessing. King Baby Kush. God. Levi Hoskins, Josh Balk, Spencer Shriek. Red Jockey hollering. The frisbees. Muzzies are coming. Okay. Chrissy got clipped backstage at the Gold Glove Awards by Steve Garvey. It's just. What it is is. Joey B's prostate. Cody Herring.

[B]

Joey B's prostate. Joe Biden's prostate.

[A]

Steve Helm, Jeremy Roth. Petition to rename the Jurassic park way song.

[B]

She Ain't the problem. We're coming. Can I just say we're. We're running into a problem.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The problem that we're running into is the walked into ones are the best.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

So I just want to acknowledge. We acknowledge how funny it is.

[A]

We acknowledge how funny it is, but we also got to be careful because we don't want to be this to be a place where, like, we're breeding hate.

[B]

We don't want to breathe, you know, so.

[A]

Like that.

[B]

So we have to just say no. We have to just be that teacher and say, that is not true. It's not true.

[A]

But they spelled it J E W Rassic Park.

[B]

It's so good. But I have to say, we can't do that.

[A]

Mark Haynes. And here's another Walked in paraglide tour guide lad 14.

[B]

Walked into what?

[A]

Then we got Casey Anthony coming back. Was my 911.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Okay. If Chrissy was a missy, you could call me Bill Cosby.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Call it a bug migration because chiggers in Paris Walked into. Can't do it.

[B]

Well, it's a song, and sugars is a bug.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, I mean, look, we didn't name the bug chiggers.

[A]

Yeah, it's a real name. And you call them chiggers a Real name.

[B]

We just had fun with it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm just gonna give you a Drexler.

[A]

Drexler.

[B]

Yeah. And it's a walked in one.

[A]

Josh V. Tyler Avarumi, Tommy Mulder, J. Dixon, Hayden Craig, Lyle Chipperson. One Flew over Seppuku's nest. It's like a suicide joke, right? Isn't Sepu One Flew over Sepaku's nest.

[B]

Yeah, but we can't support that.

[A]

Can't support Sui.

[B]

If you're having thoughts, talk to.

[A]

Talk to someone.

[B]

It's a temporary problem.

[A]

Yeah. Then we got Ben. Uncle Touchy. Then we got I live on a cus. Suck on them titties. Yum, yum. Get you some. Okay. $3 Leroy bill with a glue gun grab. Okay. Alexander Cool Guy. Zamusta Zamusada Dave. Eric Barknot, Pierre Evas McLaughlin, Freaky Zeke, Kylie Potts, Jordan Geronimo, Jorge Andre. If it's a chigger, it's probably bigger. Can't. Okay.

[B]

Lad 14 they're having fun with.

[A]

Can't do it.

[B]

I mean, someone has to change the name of that bug.

[A]

Yeah. Ryan Carter, Jeff Here. Matthew Moore, Nick Feel. Nick. Nick Furyk, Tala Ayaz, William Tim Manzella, Pete Lindeck, Duncan Stewart. T98gmail.com screwed in.

[B]

Screwed in.

[A]

Noir. Nicholas M. Upchurch, Carlton Purcell, Zeke G. Straight to the back in Indian Reptile, AKA the Fumigator.

[B]

Drexler.

[A]

Okay. Uncle Nicole. Jorge. My uncle. Oh, walked into one. Okay. Because he spelled it like a name. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Got you again. Yeah.

[A]

David Vdol, Charles Anthony Moretti, Stilly Matthew Coon. Matthew watch gay porn. But I'm not. So I stroke my glue gun with Icy Hot.

[B]

But I'm not. So he's trying to like, not. He's trying to make himself hate it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I'm gonna put him on the list because I. It's. That's a deep one.

[A]

Yeah. And you understand.

[B]

So he's saying, like, I like it, but I put Icy Hot to make myself think I don't like it.

[A]

Yeah. Then we got Mahatmakuchi, Luke McGarry, Vanessa Sizba, Megan T. Jack Hayes, Natalie Amato, Austin Loveless, John Lightner, Derek McGuire, Joseph Skinelli or Scanner panel. Thomas Matelsta, Ryan Sweeney for Mario Lafumes. Then we got the space between Yanni's eyes. Make no mistake, because I'm a squeak. Leroy's overreact. Laughing. I can't say that. I mean, now I've just caught it. You just full out said the n Word. And that's not okay.

[B]

It's not okay.

[A]

Can't say that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Chet Hanks. Std. Bill.

[B]

Put him on the list. Hey.

[A]

Yep. That's an interesting one.

[B]

That's an interesting one. What?

[A]

On the Runway. But the pilots at DEI Higher put.

[B]

Him on the list. Contender. Get out the catapult. I knew it was coming.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think that's going to be the guy.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. But we'll just get through this list.

[B]

He's going to live.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is the opposite.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Natalie Portman's Jew Broad Fumes. Okay. Benjamin Nolet. Cena Koshani. Just a Leroy who makes blankets. But don't call me a knitter.

[B]

What? He's lacking something himself. Yeah, he's black himself.

[A]

But it's, you know, it's a. It's a chicken finger.

[B]

Then I would put that on the. Don't call me a knitter. I make blankets.

[A]

But he's saying he's black. He's black. He's black.

[B]

So I'm putting him on the list.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's a contender.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Yeah. He's saying, I'm a knitter. I make blankets. I'm a black guy who makes blankets. But don't call me a knitter.

[A]

It's just what it is.

[B]

I mean, it's a fun one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Derek Wagner. Francisco. Gun Germs and Steel Pipe. Chrissy Connor Fenwick.

[B]

I'm going to give that an honor. It's a great book. Gun, Germs and Steel. So I'm just going to give that honor. Ray Drexler.

[A]

Lucian. Why do black people use my name as a first name marquee? Okay. I don't know it. Okay. Taylor Brandt. Alex Aguilar. Chris. It's the Chinese. We are ready to buy your house.

[B]

Very funny. I'm going to Drexler it.

[A]

Okay. Massage loving. Makeup. Maple. Massage loving. Maple Monkey. Betrayed by his ATM receipts.

[B]

That is a Canadian guy who gets massages.

[A]

And his wife caught him and his wife.

[B]

We're gonna put him on the list.

[A]

That's just what it is. Needs help right now.

[B]

He's help. And it's a creative one.

[A]

I mean, he's just. He can only afford to eat his dinner at Tim Hortons right now. Twinkie Dick Chicken Figure history. Hyenas plan. Three year time span. Debo fly balls. 2020. Fart Maguire. Andrew. Potato Sauce Monkey. Porcetti Ash. Danny Avalar. If it ain't right, why is the glue always white? Okay.

[B]

It's funny if it's a walked into one kind of Drexler.

[A]

Okay. I don't get it. If it ain't right, why is it right?

[B]

Why is it always white? Meaning white is always right.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But okay. Yeah. Right. Rectumus Prime. Transform my glue Dumpster.

[B]

Oo. Say it again.

[A]

Rectimus Prime. Transform my glue dumpster.

[B]

Put him on the list.

[A]

Okay. Glue dumpster's fun too.

[B]

And his rectum is prime. His.

[A]

And then we got another Nate Higgers, which I'm just going to say we should retire.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That. No more of those. But somebody did it. It's an. And they wrote. It's an anagram. Mushu's pork poop shoot with glue fumes. Stephen Fish Stamos is Faji. And Yanni's Chobani.

[B]

Funny.

[A]

Funny. Joshua Cashwell Trumple Stillskin gives it to me doggy style. And I like it.

[B]

Draxy.

[A]

My history. Hyena's name in my bio. Hawk Jewa and spit on that Frisbee.

[B]

Put them up. The walked in ones are so good.

[A]

Spit on that Frisbee was in. Because we've heard Hawk Jewel, but spit on that Frisbee's in. Nice.

[B]

We're going to. We're going to walk into one.

[A]

Walked into one. Okay. Sean Terry's buff beefcake daddy Ash money. The Pope farted on my dick and it made me glue his fart ripper shut. Okay. Yanni. Yanni catapulted. Chrissy denied his corpus. Hey, baby, It's Corpus. Walked into one.

[B]

Can't disparage, but funny.

[A]

Jorge Floyd, CPAP Supplies. Pty.

[B]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Say it again. Oh, my God. Jorge Floyd C. I love how they get past Chrissy.

[A]

Just kick out that Jorge Floyd George. Floyd.

[B]

George Floyd, CPAP supply. He couldn't breathe.

[A]

Yeah. Not good. Not good.

[B]

Very bad one.

[A]

Very bad.

[B]

Very creative.

[A]

I was gonna. I literally thought it was a company. I was gonna say it was screwed up.

[B]

I know.

[A]

So it's good that we didn't say that they did.

[B]

Now they're having fun just tricking. Tricking you.

[A]

Yeah. Michael never jacking its son.

[B]

Okay, that is not okay.

[A]

That is not okay.

[B]

Just not okay.

[A]

We are not. Not okay.

[B]

That is not true.

[A]

Back on the beam. Glue canoe in my way. Back in the Back on the beam. Glue canoeing my way upstream. Heido Jimenez, Kevin DeLuca. Nancy Pelosi's bombs over Baghdad.

[B]

A chicken figure.

[A]

Big fan of history. Hyenas with Adolf and Fat Stamos. Okay, okay.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Phil Kitchell, the Sacred Rocks. Yanni Pissed on in Gettysburg.

[B]

I like that Chicken finger.

[A]

Justin Lieberman Musk's eyes. It sometimes does that. Bricked up string bean Leroy with floaties to swim through Chrissy's well farts. Will Rodriguez.

[B]

Chris Leroy with floaties would have been great. Left it right there would have been great. So I'm going to just give you a shout out.

[A]

Shout out. Matt W. And then last but not least, Chrissy's next co host.

[B]

Drexler Jack.

[A]

Okay, so we got a list now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So at first we thought with floaties.

[B]

Is still in my mind. Yeah, I just liked. It's very funny.

[A]

Okay, so here is. Here's the list. Okay. Girth, wind and fire.

[B]

Drexler it.

[A]

Drexler. So we're out. Girth, wind and fire. But thank you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Then we got help. I took a shot of baby oil at the white white party. Now my throat's glued shut. And I testify tomorrow.

[B]

So good.

[A]

I testified tomorrow. Made it very, very good.

[B]

So I'm going to Drexler it any other day. I'm sorry, it's just the other ones.

[A]

That's. And that's the definition of a Clyde Drexler Any other era. He. He played in Michael Jordan's era. And it's just unfortunate.

[B]

Yeah, it's unfortunate.

[A]

Romanian, not Romani. AKA caravan monkey.

[B]

Caravan monkey for Romanian people is very good. Thank you for bringing that to the lexicon. But we're going to dragstor it.

[A]

Okay. Chet Hanks std Blow me.

[B]

People are caravan monkeys because they travel. Sorry, what was the STD one?

[A]

Chet Hanks STD bill chicken finger it. Okay. Watch gay porn, but I'm not. So I stroke my glue gun with icy hot contender. Contender still. Okay. So Chad Hanks STD bill is chicken finger.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then we got on the Runway. But the pilots at DEI high contender. Just a Leroy who makes blankets. But don't call me a knitter contender. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Massage loving maple monkey betrayed by his ATM receipts.

[B]

We're gonna Drexler any other day.

[A]

But you know we feel for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Rectimus Prime. Transform my glue dumpster.

[B]

We're gonna. We're gonna Drexler any other day.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Funny factor.

[A]

So here we have three contenders.

[B]

Yeah, we did this, right?

[A]

We have. I'll read them all three of them out. Watch gay porn, but I'm not. So I stroke my glue gun with icy hobby hot. So good on the Runway. But the pilots at DEI hire Or just a Leroy who makes blankets. But don't call me a knitter. Okay.

[B]

Those three good Ones. Here's the thing. The funniest one to me is the Leroy. And the most but the creative one. But it's inside is the pilot. Because you have to know that we are lexicon is if you're on the Runway, it means you're going to die.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So since this is for our fans.

[A]

Right.

[B]

What's the other one again? The third one.

[A]

Watch gay porn. But I'm not. So I stroke my glue gun with Icy Hot.

[B]

Very funny. We've had a lot of gay ones, so that's out. I'm going to drex with that one. Even though it's incredible.

[A]

I get it.

[B]

Because I like the struggle of what you're trying to do. You're trying to make yourself straight.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's very get that you want.

[A]

You want to introduce pain.

[B]

You want to introduce pain to try to condition yourself like a Pavlovian dog. To like girl.

[A]

Yeah. And it's very funny and it's very hard.

[B]

It really deserves to win. Yeah. I think about it. But it's just.

[A]

Just. Yeah.

[B]

This is what makes this hard.

[A]

So just a Leroy with who makes blankets. But don't call me a knitter on the Runway. But the pilot is a DEI hire.

[B]

I'm going to go with on the Runway because the pilots DEI hired to our fans. Know what it means. Shout out to the to the blanket maker.

[A]

Yeah. Jesse, would you agree?

[B]

Yes, I do agree on.

[A]

And Jesse is the one who coined on the Runway. Or that he's close. He's close.

[B]

Close. So on the Runway. But it's a DEA hire. So you're safe and you're going to live.

[A]

So if you go to which is the opposite. So you are the ppw. Go to history Hyenas is back dot com. See your name up in lights. You have won this week's Patreon on the Runway. But the pilots a DEI higher. That's the winner. Thank you, guys. As always. Go to historynewsisback.com check out all our dates. I am in Atlantic City tomorrow and Saturday at the Atlantic City Comedy Club. And then I am in The Brea Improv. July 18th and 19th. And then check the rest of the summer dates. We've also just added Montreal. I believe it's July 25th. We have. Or July 26th.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Every other date. Christy comedy.com for dates.

[B]

Okay. Catch me. This is this this July in Providence. July 11th and 12th. Rosemont, Illinois at Zany's. August.

[A]

It's a great club. Go see him in Rosemont 8 and.

[B]

9Th Tampa, Florida, August 15th and 16th Poughkeepsie, August 22nd and 23rd Miami, September 11th and 12th Bakersfield, California, October 3rd and 4th Toronto on October 18th Tulsa, October 24th, 4th and 25th and Bozeman, Montana, November 22nd Stanford West, Nyack in December and other dates up there. Giannis Pappas, comedy.com join our patreon patreon.com history hyenas. And we have a live show again coming up in New York City.

[A]

That is July 3rd, July 3rd at the Comedy Cellar. Second hold on. Yeah, is it July? I think it's July 2nd. I'm sorry, July 2nd. July 2nd. It is July 2nd at the Comedy Cellar. Dollar it's up there on our sites. Go get tiki wikis. It's going to sell out quick if it isn't sold out already.