The Irish Civil War with Shane Todd | History Hyenas

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Irish Civil War with Shane Todd" | History Hyenas

Podcast: History Hyenas
Hosts: Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas
Guest: Shane Todd
Release Date: January 1, 2026

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Episode Overview

Comedians Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas bring on Northern Irish comedian Shane Todd for an energetic, irreverent, and insightful episode exploring Irish identity, politics, history, and stereotypes—with plenty of laughs along the way. Blending personal stories, Irish cultural quirks, and historical asides, the group provides both comic relief and sharp commentary on Ireland, America, and the ties (and trouble) that bind them.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Shane Todd’s Irishness & American Misconceptions (00:36–02:57)

• Shane, a Belfast native, jokes about Americans confusing Irish and Scottish backgrounds.
  • "Original white. Like the factory where white people were made." — Shane [01:04].
  • Shane's DNA is "100% Irish," reinforcing his credentials for the discussion.
• Anecdote: The perils of American tours, including a slip from healthy living to late-night McDonald's binges in Belfast.
  • "You can derail him with a bag of McDonald’s, a Guinness... you can just derail the kid." — Yannis [02:20].

2. Travel Tales: America through Irish Eyes (03:00–07:00)

• Shane shares stories from recent U.S. gigs:
  • Encounters with masked audiences (San Francisco) and visits to Tijuana.
  • Naivety booking a hotel in San Francisco’s “Tenderloin”—assuming it sounded “lovely”—before realizing it was a rough area.
  • Observes America’s peculiar habit of “incarcerating groceries”: “Buying Doritos like I was buying a diamond necklace.” [05:03].
• Commentary on American retail theft, contrasted with Belfast’s own gritty reputation.

3. Irish Identity, Immigration, and the Irish Divide (07:00–16:00)

• Discussion on modern Irish identity:
  • Perception that Ireland is changing due to immigration, especially in Dublin (recent riots).
  • “...it was kind of nice to watch that, you know, because we were like, you know, it’s not us.” — Shane on Belfast vs. Dublin troubles [07:42].
• Irish Americans and misunderstanding Northern Ireland (“All Irish are Catholic” myth).
• The lingering reality of divisions:
  • “There’s a long time where you’re not 100% sure... you gotta find like, what school did you go to? Where are you from? How do you pronounce the letter H?” — Shane [09:52].
  • Unique Belfast shibboleths, like pronouncing ‘H’.
• The peace wall remains: Still closed nightly, but mostly a tourist site now.

4. Religion, Partition, and The Troubles (16:00–29:00)

• Sectarian tensions: Protestants seen as “loyalists” to the British crown, Catholics as Irish nationalists.
  • “The best way I can describe it is we have two sort of main parties... they’re never on the same page. So even now... if one side picks an opinion on something, by default the other side has to go the opposite.” — Shane [28:54].
  • Example: Gay marriage referendum splitting along tribal lines.
• Older generation more attached to distinctions; younger, not as much.
• Shane’s religious background: Raised with neither, “religious fluid.” [27:44–28:13].

5. Irish Drinking Culture vs. American Drinking (11:08–19:19 and throughout)

• The Irish reputation for drinking is examined with humor:
  • “Is it true there’s no AA in Ireland?” — Chris [15:44].
  • Shane clarifies: “No, that’s not true,” but attitudes are different.
• Early drinking ages (15 or 16 in country bars), and the ability to “handle it.”
  • “People will be, like, mangled after, like, 12 pints and be like, ‘I gotta go. I gotta drive this bus now.’” — Shane [18:40].
• Myth-busting: Not everyone drinks heavily; “not drinking” means something different in Ireland.

6. The Irish Parliament, Drinking, and History Nods (22:01–24:31)

• Historical trivia: Irish legislators and parliamentarians "used to brawl drunk in Parliament."
  • “It used to be, in Ireland, you just went to the parliament and everyone was fucking getting hammered.” — Yannis [16:07].
• Irish moonshine ("poitin") lore: “If you drank a cup of it, you’d die.” — Shane [22:54].

7. Comedy, Food, and Cultural Swaps (11:37, 29:49–34:49)

• Chris’s surprising discovery of “the best pizza” in Belfast, at Flout Pizza.
  • “He took a Japanese approach to it. In Japan... they just focus on one thing. So this place [Flout Pizza], they just do pizza. And his pizza is legendary.” — Chris [12:01].
• Irish attitudes to ambition:
  • Less driven by wealth or “crushing it” than Americans.
  • “In Ireland... Don’t get above your station.” — Shane [33:25].
  • “The wealthiest comedians in Ireland do well enough... You don’t have to have seven Ferraris.” — Chris [35:17].

8. Bare-Knuckle Boxing and Irish Travelers (42:10–46:50)

• Fascination with the Irish Travelers (the ethnic minority often called "Pikeys," a term noted as a slur).
  • “The right term’d be ‘traveler’.” — Shane [42:10].
• Wild tradition of family bare-knuckle boxing, captured in the documentary "Knuckle."
  • “They beat the shit out of each other in a car park and then... love each other.” — Shane [43:57].
  • “It’s family’s honor. It’s like samurai shit.” — Yannis [44:23].

9. Reflections: Irish vs. American Life (37:26–41:49)

• Americans: Enthusiastic, always hustling, everything moves “a mile a minute.”
• Irish: Appreciate calm, sitting down “to just do nothing,” less pressure for more (or bragging).
• Homelessness differences: Ireland has less visible homelessness and perhaps more communal care.
• Guns: Both societies have them, but mass shootings are an American phenomenon.
• “What have you picked up about Americans?”
  • “So enthusiastic about everything. You guys get behind everything... I actually love coming over here.” — Shane [37:37].

10. Irish-American Connections and History Nods (35:36–41:29)

• Hercules Mulligan, an Irish-born American Revolutionary figure.
  • "That's how much the Irish hate the British. He probably came here just to help us... because we hate the British so much." — Yannis [41:03].
• Shout-out to the often overlooked role of Irish immigrants in American history.

11. Comedy Scene in Ireland and Recommendation (48:02–49:00)

• Irish comedy booming, with Belfast now hosting arena shows for local comedians.
  • Names dropped: Dylan Moran, Tommy Tiernan.
  • “The crowds in Belfast and Dublin were the best crowds I did a whole tour through Europe for. It's not even close.” — Chris [15:01].
• Shane’s own podcast: “Tea With Me.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Irish Ancestry:
  “I was keen to see how exotic I was. And it was like, you never left.” — Shane [01:10]
• On American Drugstore Security:
  “We're buying Doritos like I was buying, like, a diamond necklace.” — Shane [05:05]
• On Sectarian Divisions:
  “You gotta ask like eight questions before you decide whether you hate the person.” — Shane [09:55]
• On Drinking Ability:
  “People will be, like, mangled after, like, 12 pints and be like, ‘I gotta go. I gotta drive this bus now.’” — Shane [18:40]
• On Irish Food:
  “One of the best pizzas I've ever had in my life was in Belfast at Flout Pizza.” — Chris [11:37]
• On Cultural Differences in Ambition:
  “Don't get above your station.” — Shane [33:25]
• On Bare-Knuckle Fighting:
  “They beat the shit out of each other in a car park and then they share a can after.” — Shane [43:58]
• On American Enthusiasm:
  “So enthusiastic about everything. You guys get behind everything.” — Shane [37:39]
• On Travelers:
  “Tyson Fury’s family [are] travelers.” — Shane [43:09]

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Key Timestamps

• 00:36 – Shane Todd intro, Irish/Scottish identity jokes
• 03:00 – Shane’s American tour stories: San Francisco, Tijuana
• 07:22 – Belfast/Dublin distinction and immigration
• 08:21 – Reflections on the Belfast peace wall
• 11:07 – Best pizza in Belfast story
• 16:07 – Drunken Irish Parliament history
• 18:40 – Irish vs American drinking habits
• 22:32 – Irish poitin and moonshine stories
• 27:44 – Shane’s religious background: “religious fluid”
• 28:54 – Each political side taking opposite stances out of tribal logic
• 33:25 – Irish humility compared to American ambition
• 35:36 – American looting ancestors, Irish composure
• 37:39 – American enthusiasm vs. Irish calm
• 43:09 – Irish Travelers and bare-knuckle boxing traditions
• 48:02 – Irish comedians and Belfast comedy scene

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Tone and Style

Irreverent, rapid-fire, affectionate but unfiltered—a blend of self-deprecating Irish humor, New York edge, and a genuine enthusiasm for history, culture, and people.

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Where to Follow

• Shane Todd: @ShaneToddComedy on social media, host of "Tea With Me" podcast
• History Hyenas: Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas, available on podcast platforms

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Transcript

[A]

All right, folks, we got Shane Todd on the pod. He's got a heart out in 40 minutes because he's taking a flight back to another country. And you know this country, we will fucking hold him off the line because the kid's not in America. So we just have to check him out a little bit.

[B]

He's from the motherland.

[A]

From Belfast.

[C]

From Belfast. Welcome, boys.

[B]

Good to be here. I. I do think. You think I'm Scottish, though, because when I asked you about the subject for this, Giannis was like, let's cover some Scottish history.

[A]

Yeah, he does. I think you were from Belfast.

[B]

He just knows I'm white, but that's kind.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Original white. Like the factory where white people were made. You come from where the American whites are made?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I did my ancestry thing, and it was. I was keen to see, like, how exotic I was. And it was like, you never left, right? I was like, 100% Irish.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Like, 100%.

[A]

And just. But see, the thing. What I like about Shane is the kid is fully Irish, but he does look like a German Nazi.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

He's got the look 100%.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I look like I could be. I could be from Germany or, like, cool parts of Spain.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Can I. Can I tell you. Yeah, let's go tell him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I opened for Chris when he was in Belfast on tour, and Chris, like, had a long conversation with me about how he's turned everything around. He was getting healthy and he was eating right on tour, and we were talking about how important that is on tour. I took Chris and James Matterhorn.

[A]

James Mattern. We'll call him James Matterhorn.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I call him.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I took them out for a drink, and Chris, like, I'm just gonna have one drink. I'm living healthy. And I was like, God, that's great. And I drove home the next day. My friend went, I saw Chris Estefano in Belfast last night. I was like, oh, you were at the show. Did you like it? He's like, no, no. He was walking through city center with, like, a rucksack full of McDonald's.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

He was like. It was.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He's like, I didn't know. The container they gave him. He's like, I've never seen that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Chris.

[B]

Chris is.

[C]

Chrissy. When in Rome, Chrissy honey pots Chrissy. You can. You can. Whatever his plan is.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You can derail him with a bag of McDonald's, a Guinness. Yeah, yeah. A piece of puss. You can you can just derail the Kid?

[A]

Me and my. Me and my girl talked about this morning. We talked how, you know, looking for a new place to live is really stressing the both of us out. And we had a real heart to our conversation and we said, we will not look at any more places for at least six months. Let's just take the pressure off. We're happy with what we got. And immediately after this podcast, I have four apartments to look at the Kid float.

[B]

Three houses when he was in Belfast.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Property in Belfast. Chris in the Chinese Belfast.

[C]

He's going to be on Zillow. Zillow in Ireland.

[A]

Now. How's your time been in the us?

[B]

It's been great. I'll tell you this. Well, it's been up and down. First show, San Francisco, people in masks in the front row of the show. I got chatting to a guy, he's a Mexican guy in the front row. He's wearing a mask. I asked him about it and I was like, oh, is it like a Silence of the Lambs kind of thing? It's been a bit weird. I called him Juanable Lecter.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

He hated it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So hard. He hated it.

[A]

I like that one.

[C]

I like Wannable Lecter. That would be a good Patreon name.

[A]

Wannable Lecter. Shane Todd comes on here and immediately just starts giving bangers.

[B]

Yeah, y.

[C]

That's a good one.

[B]

Sheen in my head when I said it. And then we went to. We went to Tijuana for the day.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[B]

Yeah. I felt like it was at a barbecue. Christmas. Seriously.

[C]

That really is. Yeah, that is.

[A]

I've never been to Tijuana.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. What you think of it?

[B]

You know? Yeah, it was good to say, we're gone. It was the quick. Like it was the easiest country to get into.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We breezed and they didn't even really look at our passport. And then the way back, it was. It was a lot of big time.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You got questioned.

[C]

Yeah. Because San Diego is a very conservative town.

[A]

Right. Yeah.

[C]

You don't really get a hint of any Mexico. Even though it's so close to Mexico. You don't really get a hint.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

And then we were. Oh, I booked. I booked our hotel for me and my friend in San Francisco. Not knowing a lot about San Francisco. I thought the tenderloin sounded lovely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like, just. That sounds nice. Yeah. You know, it sounds like a nice thing I would like.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And we stayed there and you got.

[C]

Fucked in the ass by a guy.

[A]

Yeah, but. Exactly. But it's a war zone there.

[B]

Yeah, it's a war. It's crazy when, like, you're in, like, a developed country, like, America, and the guy at reception is like, guys have a great time, but when you leave the hotel, don't turn left.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, that's so unsettling.

[A]

When it's crazy that it's crazy that a kid who grew up in Belfast is like that part of town's award.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Grew up in Alfast.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

A lot of unreasonable gentlemen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tenderloin. But, like, Ireland has its problems like everywhere else, but America is the only place I've been to. And I thought it was just in San Francisco, but it's all over. Where in the CVS the groceries are incarcerated. Yes.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

We're buying Doritos. Like, I was buying, like, a diamond.

[A]

Necklace because we fucking. Too many people steal here. Yeah, well, voted for change.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No, over there, you have to protect the cvs. Have to be protected by, like, a National Guard.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You got to have, like, somebody like a guard with an AR15 guarding the deodorants and shampoos.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

They really just steel.

[B]

Oh, no. It was a small Asian man with white gloves. He's taking it so seriously. I think he brought the gloves himself. Like, they weren't.

[A]

We should really do for San Francisco is just have Trumpy on Truth Social put out a thing that, hey, we're going to bomb San Fran.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then the people on Truth Social know to get out, and the people who aren't they just gotta go with the wind.

[B]

It would take it to San Diego. Would not land.

[A]

No.

[C]

It's funny, you know how we say reality is a suggestion?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, price is a suggestion in San Francisco. Like, pay if you want or just take it. Yeah.

[A]

Dude, I went to this deli over there, Molinari's. It's. It's one of the best Italian sandwiches I've ever had in my life. But their food is so good there that they. The people who work there will just be dicks to you. They just know, like, there's nothing that you're going to do because it's the only sandwich I've had that, like, it's comparable to New York. You've ever eaten there?

[C]

No.

[A]

And they just like, look at you, like, what the fuck do you want? Type thing. And I could. There was a part of me wants to be like, listen, dude, you're from San Francisco, so that just means I'm automatically better than you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just. Embedded in you. But I do want to eat those fucking cold cuts, so I'm not going to say nothing.

[C]

Yeah, well, that's how you know the place is probably good if they treat you like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Usually the better the food, the worse they treat you, which is good.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. What does it mean when your nipples are itchy? That's my new thing now. My nipples.

[C]

Got a sexually transmitted disease.

[A]

No, that's what the good news about me is. I know. I don't. There's no possible way I can.

[B]

Yeah. Do you have.

[C]

Maybe it's an old one flaring up?

[A]

Could be, yeah. They just stick around there.

[B]

Yeah. Do you have big nips?

[A]

No, I don't have big nips and I've been used. Well, I have one nip that fucking hangs off under my armpit, but I do not. I've been using this healthier like paraben free deodorant that you spray on and maybe I'm accidentally spraying some on my nips.

[C]

Yeah, possible. That's very possible, yeah. So you're from Belfast?

[B]

Just outside, just. Yeah, but it's tiny like everywhere. Like, Belfast, my new city.

[C]

So the mayor. Who's the mayor over there. I know you got like an Indian guy or so it's like that's.

[B]

That's in Dublin. The mayor of Belfast is kind of like work experience is like, you could. When you were in Belfast, you could have been the mayor.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like the mayor is like, you got the chain. Like, he doesn't. Like he wears his own clothes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I mean like, the mayor will wear their own clothes. Like they'll wear like a tracksuit or whatever.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, the mayor isn't like that big of a deal in Belfast, but it's.

[C]

Like what's going on in Ireland because like, you know, you go on X and people are saying, oh, Ireland's like not even Irish anymore. Is that really true or is it just X hype? Are there like. Is it like overrun with immigrants?

[B]

Well, there was loads of that wasn't. There was like loads of riots in Dublin.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And being like from just outside Belfast, it was kind of nice to like, to watch that, you know, because we were like, you know, it's not us.

[C]

Right.

[B]

You know. But. But yeah, in Dublin. Like, that's crazy. In Dublin.

[C]

So it's in Dublin most.

[B]

That seems to be where like all the trouble for all that kind of stuff.

[C]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[B]

But we are like, like, we will give up. Like, you know, people will give off and be like, everyone coming over to Ireland, you know, trying to start a life here. Yeah, we're everywhere. Yeah, sure, everywhere. You are everywhere.

[A]

Well, the thing is, too, like, when you meet Irish people here in New York, they're never from Northern Ireland. They're from. They're from, like, Dublin, like, the Republic of Ireland. So it's weird when, like, I had to tell Patty Finnegan, like, oh, I'm in Belfast, and there's not, you know, there. There you see Catholics and Protestants. He's like, that's no. Irish people are Catholic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's like, no, no. There's a lot that aren't.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Because that's like when I was coming back to San Diego from Tijuana, and you actually see the wall, like, the wall that goes into the sea. I was like, this is crazy. Like, I took a minute to just take it in. I was like, what kind of world do we live in where these people are divided by a wall? They remember where I was from. And I was like, we got a.

[A]

Bit of a wall. Yeah, we got a bit of a wall. Yeah. I, I. When I went there two years ago, you can sign the wall something nice. And I wrote my patre. It's just what it is, because it's just. I mean, now that Michael D. Higgins. I mean, this guy is fucking wild. He looks like a character from Lord of the Rings.

[C]

Yeah, he does.

[A]

Who is this guy?

[B]

This is Michael D. Higgins.

[A]

He's the president right now.

[B]

President of Ireland.

[A]

A president of Ireland.

[B]

Look at. Look at that. Look at that picture at the bottom where he's meeting Prince William or King William or whatever. Yeah.

[C]

Look how small he's doing. He's tiny now.

[A]

He's a weak.

[B]

He's the tallest man in Ireland now.

[A]

Now, because when you say Ireland with Joe Biden. Yeah, that's a tiny. But Northern Ireland. You don't recognize him as the president.

[B]

Oh, I. I mean, I say. I just say I'm Irish. You know, we can be like flute. You know, you can be like whatever you.

[A]

The young can, but not. The older people wouldn't do that.

[B]

They make a call. They make a call.

[A]

So you're seeing in Belfast, in Northern Ireland. Well, you know, just. You call it all Ireland. You think it's starting to be unified by the people a bit.

[B]

Well, they're talking about having a referendum, but it's like, it's.

[C]

So people are over it. Their people are over.

[B]

No, there's a lot of people who are absolutely not over.

[C]

Not over.

[B]

No, they. They love It.

[C]

Right.

[B]

You know, it gets them going.

[C]

And it's just the religion. It's just religion, really.

[B]

A protestant Catholic thing.

[C]

That's it.

[B]

Which unlike we, like, it's crazy because if there's pros, maybe Catholics and vice versa.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You've got to ask like eight questions before you decide whether you hate the person.

[C]

That's crazy.

[B]

You know, you eye them up and you're like. You know, you got to find like, what school did you go to? Where are you from? How do you pronounce the letter H?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then you can be like, you're my enemy, but there's like a long time where you're not 100% sure.

[A]

What's the H difference? Like you said, pronounce your h. Typically.

[B]

Some people say hitch. Right. And other people say itch. And that's like a big deal. Like, if you say that wrong.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If people are like, what comes after G? Yeah, I'm right. What comes after G?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's the difference between like a dap up in Belfast or like a bull.

[C]

There's no.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

No better example, I think, than Ireland between the Catholics and Protestants. That just show you that humanity will just find the way. Oh, to hate each other.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

I mean, because if you do, the protestant Catholic here think people going, what?

[A]

Yeah, right.

[D]

What?

[C]

Yeah, you guys, I don't care. The guy's Protestant. We don't. It's like not even. It's an afterthought.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like what? You're Catholic. You're probably.

[A]

I'll tell you what. Cause first of all, Conor McGregor looks terrifying.

[C]

And he looks like he's been through some drugs.

[A]

Yeah. He just does. I mean, I wouldn't want to fight a guy like that.

[C]

But that's what kind of happens to the Irish is they kind of fall apart after. Like, they blow out a little. They blow out.

[A]

But Shane's healthy.

[C]

He's looking good.

[B]

Yeah, but I'm kid.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

How old you are?

[A]

You're a Crohn's. We call you Crohn's beauty. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Crohn's.

[A]

We're the Pete Davidson viral.

[B]

That's my secret. It keeps me looking young. I'm 36.

[C]

36.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But I'm aware I look anywhere between like 19 and 14.

[C]

You do? Yeah.

[A]

You look. You look like a 23 year old girl.

[C]

You look like a candidate for trans surgery. Yes.

[B]

In the bra of a hill. I look like Ellen.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

If I'm in the right trouser, I look like Ellen. Like, for sure.

[A]

I look like now, I got to be honest with you, and we've spoken about this. You've been to Belfast? You have? No, because, I mean, I know this is going to sound sacrilegious.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm telling you, though, one of the best pizzas I've ever had in my life was in Belfast at Flout Pizza. That man who runs the pizza shop at Flout Pizza, that pizza, Pete. Pete is unbelievable. Dude, I'm telling you. And this is coming from me, who you know me. I'm a kid. I know my Puerto Ricans. I know my pizza.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This pizza puts any. I'm. Dude, I know we're about to say is wild.

[C]

It sounds crazy.

[A]

It's nearly as good as Lucali's. What? Because what this kid did, the kid who runs the Flout, he's an Irish kid. Oh, yeah, he's an Irish kid. But he took a Japanese approach to it. You know, in Japan, some of the best food in the world is in Japan of any cuisine, because they just focus on one thing. They focus on one thing and one thing only. They're now trying to do a thousand different things. So this place Flat Pizza, they just do pizza. And it's just this guy, this kind, he's let everything else fall by the wayside. He doesn't give a shit how he looks.

[B]

He.

[A]

He's fucking blown out. Care about his family. He's like, I make the pizzas. And his pizza is legendary.

[B]

Wow. When you said he took a Japanese approach, I thought you meant, like, he bombed the dominoes before.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Where does he get the tomatoes?

[B]

He's traveled, like, all over the world. It's learning. Learning about pizza.

[C]

Well, where does he get the tomatoes? You got to get them imported. You guys don't got tomatoes. Yeah.

[A]

So he's the only person that could bring the Protestants and the Catholics together. Yeah. He's your guy.

[C]

So if you're. If you're, like, a Catholic kid and you bring home a Protestant girl to your mom, is it like bringing home a black girl if you're an Italian in America?

[B]

I don't think it's that big of the now, but I'd say that was horny back in the day, behind enemy lines sort of thing.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Like, coming across the peace wall and that kind of thing. That's the only thing that the difference between, like, the American Mexican wall and Orwell is there is, like, doors in our wall. Yeah. You can just go through it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm sure there's a glory hole somewhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's got to be the horniest glory.

[A]

But isn't there that one part of Belfish where they actually close that wall still to this day every night? Right.

[B]

Well, that's how you know it's not that hardcore. The wall. Yeah. The door gets locked at night, but then it's open like 8 till 7.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like you can pass through. Like it's so it should be touristic.

[A]

It's a tourist thing. And it's just a really. It's a traffic nightmare. It's like. Yeah. Fucking. You know, you can't go like you have to like go all the way around town after a certain time because that fucking door is locked.

[B]

Yeah, it's just for Asian tourists. Like it like when the tours are over, the wall comes up like a garage door. Yeah. You know, and then people just like get in.

[A]

Yeah. Nobody cares.

[B]

But I did the tour of Belfast because I had friends coming over and I was like, I know everything about the city and all that kind of stuff. And it was mad how much I learned about it. And then you're like looking down at this. It's like being in a zoo.

[C]

It's almost worth it. What happened? Just to have a tourist attract. Because otherwise you go to Belfast and you're like, look at these potato. Look at the french fries.

[B]

Hey, Titanic, baby.

[C]

Oh, Titanic. That was us that came from Belfast.

[B]

The museum. We have the museum.

[A]

The museum there is lovely. And one of the best hotels in the world to me is the Merchant Hotel in Belfast. I love staying at that hotel. I love it there. Yeah, you gotta go. We should do a live history. Hyenas in Belfast. Oh, that'll be. Go to the fucking Europe.

[B]

You've been to Edinburgh?

[C]

I've been to Edinburgh.

[A]

First time we met, he got dumped in Edinburgh.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Well, the first time we met, we were talking about the Edinburgh fringe and I was like, have you been? It's so great, isn't it? Yeah. I was like, no.

[A]

I mean, the kid was going to a breakup.

[C]

Bad.

[B]

Bad.

[C]

Yeah, it was bad.

[B]

Edinburgh's not a breakup. You want a breakup. It's just gray and yes, it's a.

[C]

Great place to go and off yourself. Yeah, it's a great place to decide to kill yourself.

[A]

Edinburgh is a great place to go. Not during the fringe.

[C]

Yeah, it's a good place to go if you're Dracula. I mean, you just feel like you're like in another century. Everything's gothic.

[A]

This hotel, the Merchant Hotel, it's a. It's amazing. They have like these Victorian beds I. I love. I love the Merchant Hotel. I really, truly do. The crowds in Belfast, I gotta be honest with you, the crowds in Belfast and Dublin were the best crowds I did a whole tour through Europe for. It's not even close. The Irish crowds, the best by a landslide. Yeah, Just the best.

[C]

Not too drunk or anything.

[A]

No. Yeah, well, they can handle their.

[C]

They can handle it. Yeah, well.

[B]

Cause you guys have like. See, it shows here, like two drink minimum and American comics are like, is there a two drink minimum? It shows in Ireland. I'm like, no one needs to be told.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then if you got told that, we have to pretend like that's crazy. The idea of having two drinks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

People have two drinks and drive to the show.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Is it true there's no AA in Ireland? There's no alcohol. Synonymous. Like, you just deal with it as a family problem if someone's getting after. Is that true?

[B]

No, that's not true.

[A]

They do have a. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, they got.

[C]

They probably. It's probably booming industry.

[A]

Alcoholism was just looked at differently in Ireland than it is here.

[B]

Well, my son's actually an alcoholic right now.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. He's eight.

[B]

He's four. Well, here's the deal.

[C]

That's wild. And this is what we're talking about, we're going to tell the people about is it used to be. It used to be in Ireland you just went to the parliament and everyone was fucking getting hammered. So they would have like brawls in there. So, like the stereotype stereotypes just don't fall from. Fall from the sky.

[A]

Right, Exactly.

[C]

I mean, you know, we've all met a couple Jews who try to cut a deal.

[A]

It's what it is.

[C]

We've all seen a couple of dicks that were black, that were really, really.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's just one.

[C]

A couple of dumb Polish kids.

[A]

Yeah. It's what it is. Yeah. My girl's got a tattoo on her tit.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's just they don't fall from the sky.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You know, they just don't. I mean, we've all met a few Greeks who are in the guys.

[A]

It's what it is.

[C]

It's just they don't yell from the sky. We've all met a couple of Italians who love their mind, live in the basement, have a Corvette.

[A]

It's what it is. We've all met a few Chinese who are spies.

[C]

Yeah. We've all met a few Jews who crawled into your shoes.

[A]

Yeah. It's what it is.

[C]

So you're gonna meet a couple of Irish kids that like to fucking bang back a couple of cold ones.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's an issue for me because when I show up to shows out here.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They're like, we've got you sorted out. I don't really drink. Wow. They'll be like, there's 12 cans of Guinness for you. I also can't have gluten. So I just sit, I put it up to my mouth and I said. But then I go back to coconut water.

[C]

So you're like a Jewish Irish kid. You got allergies, you got fucking crumbs. You're circumcised. And you don't drink because you're scared of what might happen. Yeah, yeah. And now when an Irish kid tells you he doesn't drink, you know, there's a story behind it.

[A]

They're.

[C]

How much is I don't drink. It's like, I don't drink because my dad drank and hit everyone.

[A]

Yeah. There has to be, though, a workaround for if you're born in Ireland with Crohn's disease, there has to be a beer you can drink. They have to have figured that out.

[B]

There's a gluten free one. And I say, I don't drink. But that's like an Irish. I don't drink. Like, I'll drink like six, seven times a year and like excessively drink.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I would call that in Irish, that's a teetotaler, you know, that's like, I don't drink.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Last night, Ed 1. Because last night was the last show of the whole tour.

[A]

Where was it?

[B]

August. In the stand. Early in Lychu. In the stand.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

So I had. I had a cider. Pint of cider after the show.

[A]

And that's gluten free.

[B]

That was gluten free.

[C]

And for an Irish kid that's not drinking.

[B]

I couldn't. Cider is not a lot. Like, that's illegal. Right, Right. Like, it's got to be like Guinness or beer.

[A]

Yeah, right, right. So you really can't go through living in Ireland and not having alcohol at all.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The people who don't drink just don't have that much alcohol. Yeah, got it. Yeah, I understood. I understood. But that is funny. But it's. It is true. I mean. Yeah. I gotta say though, when I was in Ireland, man, you don't see. You see people drunk and having a good time, but they don't fucking like. I feel like you can handle it better. Cause you drink earlier.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You guys say the freedoms here Fucked up. Yeah. No one really ends up that fucked up. People, like, people will be, like, mangled after, like, 12 pints and be like, I gotta go. I gotta drive this bus now.

[A]

How early can you start? Like, what's the age that people genuinely start drinking in Ireland?

[B]

15.

[A]

15. It's okay.

[B]

Our legal drinking age is 18. If you go to go into, like, a country bar, like in the countryside or whatever, and you look 16, 17, you're probably all right.

[A]

Probably good.

[B]

Yeah. I do a bit of my show about. I took my dad to New York a couple of years ago. My dad's 75. My dad's five foot five, long white hair, little white beard. We went to go to India in Irish bar in Times Square, and the American doorman id'd me and my dad.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

My dad looks like a white walker from Game of Thrones. And this guy was like, you need to prove he's over 21. But my dad didn't bring his passport.

[A]

So, what, he wouldn't let him in?

[B]

Well, I needed to, like, prove my dad was over 21. So I just pulled the skin on my dad's elbow. I grind the block. And I was like, this surely proves. Yeah, we had that. Like, we had to get into the whole thing.

[C]

Yeah, we stick to the rules here.

[A]

Yeah, we are, a little bit, but the rules, sometimes it's. It's like a little. You like noise, though.

[C]

You're German. You like when people fall.

[A]

I do like rules. Yeah, I do. But I also kind of just like, you know, you got to just think about things. Like, sometimes it's like, have a little common sense.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, look at the guy's got great beard.

[A]

Yeah, the guy's got a great beard. I mean, you know, look at his balls. You know, ask him. All you got to do is situation, you know, show him a black guy, and if he says colored, he's old enough.

[C]

He calls him a Negro.

[B]

Let him. Yeah.

[C]

So what is the age is 15, the age that priests stop getting interested in you as well? In Ireland, people.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

So it's like 14 and under.

[B]

You're catching. Then you get sent to the bar.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So you're talking about it.

[C]

You know, you're officially in, man. In Ireland, when a priest stops getting interested in.

[A]

You think, Yanis, that's why Irish kids drink so much is because they all get touched a little bit by the. The Catholic priests. Is that your. Is that your kind of take here?

[C]

That's what it's called Irish therapy for a reason. I mean, you push it down. I mean, I did read an article there was in Ireland. It happened a lot. A lot of kids got clipped.

[A]

Irish kids, Irish Catholic kids didn't get clipped as much as the American kids.

[B]

Right, right, right, right.

[A]

We got clipped more.

[C]

Or if they did, we don't know about it because they're really Irish and they just don't talk about it. Yeah.

[B]

Luckily for me, I was a late bloomer. Likewise. Can you bring up Brazilian Ronaldo? The. The soccer player?

[A]

Gonna take about 15 minutes for me.

[B]

So growing up, I got, I. I got.

[A]

Yeah, he put the word Rin Qualdo.

[B]

Rickualdo is Ronaldo from. From Wish. But I. Yeah, this guy. Yeah, if you. That photo. I mean, third one in.

[A]

Yeah, this one.

[B]

So growing up, my nickname in school was Ronaldo. And I thought it was because I was really good at soccer, but make no mistake, it's just because I look like that guy when I was a kid.

[A]

You shaved your head like that?

[B]

No, no, no, I didn't shave my head like that, but the teeth, the was that.

[A]

I mean, this kid blew out. Look at, out. Look at him now.

[B]

One of the best soccer players of all time.

[C]

One of the best soccer players and one of the most famous trans lovers.

[B]

Yeah, he got. He got, Got caught.

[A]

Why not?

[C]

Why not? I mean, yeah, the kid got caught with a couple of trans prostitutes.

[B]

No, I think there was like, if, If I'm right, I think there was 12 prostitutes and one or two of them were trans. I think he was like, percentage wise, this isn't like, look, not even a thing.

[A]

I mostly don't want to be with trans, but I do, like a few.

[C]

Yeah, and that's the thing, you know, when you have a, A bowl of oatmeal, you're going to get a couple of raisins in there.

[A]

What it is.

[B]

And. And then when they asked him more questions about it to distract them and change the subject, that's why she said like that.

[A]

Like that. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

People just talk about it like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So listen to this. Because in the 18th century in Ireland.

[A]

Which was just, let's be Honest, in the 18th century in Ireland, it was 100 white people.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It was just. They were just drunk.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

In the legislative, they were just fully drunk.

[A]

What else are you going to do?

[C]

I mean, they went there, they would drink. They were drinking while they were talking, like laws and politics. They just got absolutely hammered. Good.

[B]

I'm not like fine Roman wines like they would have in the courts. We're talking like Mead.

[A]

Mead.

[B]

Medieval beers.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like 75% alcohol.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You guys ever heard of pochin?

[A]

What's that?

[B]

Oh, pochin is like an Irish spirit. And I don't know what the alcohol content is, but it is insane. Old people in Ireland will have a bottle of potche and it's like, you're not allowed to sell it, like, in bars or anything, but they will have, like, an empty Coca Cola bottle with pochin in it, and they have, like, a little sip, someone dies. Maybe they have a little sip of poaching.

[A]

Wow. But it's got to be, like, 100% alcohol.

[B]

100%.

[A]

Like. Like, if you drank a cup of it, you would die.

[B]

You die.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

You die.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And they'd get so hammered sometimes that they would get into fights and then they just go, let's go solve this with a dual. They'd just be hammered, and then they'd go outside and they just shoot each.

[A]

Other and kill each other.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I mean, yeah. I mean.

[C]

I mean, it's definitely going to make it more fun. I assume that, like, engaging in the legislative branch is pret. Boring.

[B]

I think it was because, like, Ireland for so long was ruled by English kings and English crown, that when we. We got to, like, rule Ireland ourselves, it was like. It was probably like the first night they ruled. It was like, let's have a couple drinks. Let's have a party. And that just seemed to continue.

[C]

Right.

[B]

For, Like, a long time.

[C]

Right.

[B]

You know?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Just have a good time. Who gives you free bar? Yeah, free bar. Yeah. And I got to be honest, when I said. Because when I told you that I wanted to be healthy in Belfast at the show, I genuinely meant it. But then I started drinking beers at that bar that we all went to out. And then I just said, you know what? Who cares about anything? I want to stuff a fucking mcfish down my face.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And. But I. But I enjoyed it. Yeah, I enjoyed it. And I gotta be honest with you, I would have married a transgender Irish person that night. I would have fucking fully. I would have pulled a ronaldo.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. That's the funny thing. Think about just doing. Doing laws while you're hammered. You wake up and you're like, did we do that last night? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did we decide that we were gonna invade? Yeah, we invade Scotland.

[A]

Wait, you're like. The people in Belfast are like, did we secede from Ireland so hammered that we. Our own country?

[C]

Yeah. What the fuck did we do? Holy shit. What did we do?

[B]

You can tell we're so drunk because we still haven't figured the secession and stuff out yet.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

20, 25. We're still like. The hangover still just keeps that going.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's still. We still haven't figured it out.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, when I was there, when I went, I. And I don't know if this was just a tour guide, you know, putting it up, but I had my arms up and I had, like, you know, these crosses and whatever. And they were saying, oh, we're going into the Protestant part of town. You need to cover up that. You need to put your sleeve down.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And the cat. Because the Catholic. I was like, really? Is that just, like, part of the tour? And he was like, no, you really should. Because he was like, I'm not worried about the young guys, but if there's an old timer walking around and they just see that and they're drunk, they actually might fucking get a flashback.

[B]

Maybe someone might say something. But the great thing about those tours is the tour guides are done by, like, what we would call the troubles in Belfast. So, like the conflict in Belfast, like the. The 60s to the 90s, kind of. The guys that take you in black taxis to do these tours are like, the guys who were part of it. Yeah, they were part of it.

[A]

My tour guide was fighting. Fought in the war.

[B]

Yeah. And now they do the tours, which is unbelievable. It's like doing like, the Franz Set experience was like, you know, David Schwimmer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was it taking it?

[A]

Well, the thing is, what Belfast actually is. Let's call what it is, it's the Middle east for white people. That's what Belfast actually is. It's literally Kabul for the whites.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Yeah, it's just what it is.

[C]

Well, who's the Jews and who's the Palestinians?

[A]

The Jews? Well, you mean, who's the good guys? Who's the bad guys?

[B]

Guys. That's my heart.

[A]

So I would say. I would say. I mean. Well, it depends.

[C]

Careful. You say the Catholics are the good.

[A]

Guys, but the Catholics way outnumber the Protestants. Right. Even in. Even in. Only in Northern Ireland. Do they not.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Down south, absolutely. The north is sort of like 50, 50, maybe like 5,149 something. That's why if they talk about having a referendum, that's why it would be so contentious, because there would still be a lot of people who just would.

[A]

You just don't have many Irish Protestants here in New York City.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

All the Irish here. I'VE never met one.

[C]

I've never met an Irish Protestant.

[A]

Protestant.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's the way it should be in Ireland.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do they have an Irish Protestant bar anywhere in New York or a Protestant bar? No, I don't think they wouldn't. Right.

[B]

They would just maybe if they were that into it and maybe if they hated Ireland that much, they would just go to like an English bar.

[A]

That's. So they identify with the English.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe.

[A]

I mean, I get it.

[C]

Is that what is most of the conflict? That. Then is it more about like the loyalty to the crown versus not?

[A]

Because that's what.

[C]

It just seems weird because you both love Jesus.

[B]

Yes. Like, do you see yourself as British or Irish?

[C]

Right.

[B]

That's kind of what it is.

[C]

That's what it is.

[A]

More. And this is. I loosely understand again, not having an in depth knowledge, but I get how like. Right. Wasn't it like the Protestants sided with the English, but the English, you know, had ruled Ireland for many years and not been nice to them. They weren't that nice to them all the time.

[B]

So the huge understatement.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. So the Southern. So the Southern Irish, the Catholics were like, no, we're rebelling against them. Why? It would be like the loyalists versus the patriots.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, like in the American Revolutionary War, like, we would be patriots probably. We're okay with the seceding from England. But the lawyers are like, no, these are. This is our dad. Yeah. But that's kind of what it comes.

[C]

Down to a little bit. But also it's wild because originally they would speak in like another language. And the. The people in Ireland.

[B]

Well, there's. There's the Irish language, which is still spoken by a lot of people. But it like speak any of that? No. Like some. Some greens. Yeah.

[C]

Because the word English is because of the English conquering Ireland in Scotland, like when.

[B]

When England kind of like, are you.

[A]

A P or a C?

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Are you a P or a C?

[B]

T? No, I'm. I'm neither. I have no dog in the fight.

[A]

You're not a prostitute.

[B]

No dog in a fight.

[A]

You're a muzzy.

[B]

Brought up without. I'm 100 Jewish.

[A]

No. Brought up with neither one.

[B]

No religion in the house.

[C]

That's nice.

[A]

I like.

[B]

No, I have no dog in the fight.

[A]

Is that very common in. In Belfast to people like, you know what?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, for like say I'm doing like a corporate and the people booking it are like a big into one religion. I will be that for the show. Right. I'm more than willing to be religious fluid.

[A]

So then what do you think? So what? So where do you think you're going when you die? Like, do you get, like. When you jerk off, do you feel bad about it? Can your wife get abortions? Like, where we stand on the issues here, where I.

[B]

When I. Where I go with. I don't know, I'm not. I'm not in.

[A]

You don't know where I'm not. When you die, you don't know.

[B]

You're like, I want to be in a mushroom suit.

[A]

Right. Got it.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

Just throw me into the garden or whatever.

[A]

That's interesting, because if you have no dog in the fight, no religion, you kind of live life differently by different rules.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't have guilt then.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't suffer from that.

[B]

And I can be. Yeah. There's, like, people when I'm in America always want to talk to me about, say, if I'm in a bar, some guy, I'll be like, I've been to Belfast. Like, last time I was here, a guy's like, is it still tribal politics there? And I don't really know what that word means. So I was like.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Answering it by not answering it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, you tell me. He's like, you live there. You tell me. And the best way I can describe it is like, we have two sort of main parties kind of, like, everywhere, but they're never on the same page. So even now, like, in Northern Ireland, you've got, like. Like, say, the British party, they're called the dup. They see themselves as British Sinn Fein. Like, the Irish party, they see themselves Irish. And the way it works is it is so tribal that if, like, one side picks an opinion on something by default, the other side has to go the opposite. Got it. But it's got to the point, like, I think about 15 years ago, there was a referendum on gay marriage because it was, like, way behind the times where I live. And then the dup, the sort of British party, they came out and they were like, there'll be no referendum. Like, it's against the Bible. And then because the rules are the rules, by default, the other side, they had to just, like, be so horny for it. Like, they loved it just because. Yeah, yeah. They were like, yeah, loving it. You know, they had to come out and be like, let's. You know, they were twerking.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Even though they probably wouldn't be.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But they were like. They were well into it, like.

[C]

Yeah, because it's just these were all, like. These were all like, you know, tribes. They were all like Germanic tribes.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Then, like, the British just turned into a big country and started conquering everybody. So you lose the Celts originally up there.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Celts.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Celtic, you would say, like Ireland and Scotland. Yeah, Kind of that alliance, that little tribe.

[C]

And then the British just came and kind of civilized the Celts.

[A]

The.

[C]

Maybe the British did some good.

[A]

But listen, the British. We gotta, like, talk more about.

[C]

You can't say that because that's tough to.

[A]

How that. How that little island just was able to do so much damage.

[C]

Yeah, those little. What do you mean? The Brits.

[A]

The Brits, they conquered everyone. Little island, good to live the sea.

[C]

Yeah, they were good killing machines. They did it with the most class of anyone.

[A]

Nice red coat with the little wigs. Yes.

[C]

Did it classy. Like, they didn't come in and go, like the Vikings, like, all rad.

[B]

We're gonna.

[C]

They just came in, you know, dress.

[A]

Little tea.

[B]

That would be demoralizing to get by the guys with the little wigs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You must have looked at them coming in the distance. You're like, we'll them up.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But they.

[B]

They were.

[A]

They were good.

[C]

Murder.

[A]

Murder. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It was very classy. And you guys were like, well, like, stop drinking so much. Kill him, kill him, kill him.

[B]

The Vikings. Us up bad, though.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We got. Got so bad by the beat.

[A]

A Viking.

[B]

No.

[A]

Could you imagine open?

[B]

We're so open as well. We're just like a big island floating in the middle of the sea.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So bad.

[C]

Irish kids so tough. They're hard to go down. You fight an Irish kid, the kid just doesn't go down.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[C]

Is it the booze or Catholicism and guilt?

[B]

Probably the booze. I'd say booze. You're not feeling it.

[A]

Irish women have nice big fat ass.

[C]

They got no fumes either.

[A]

They don't have any fumes. No, no. They're beautiful.

[B]

They don't. I can't wait. I'm going home tonight. I can't wait to tell the ladies.

[A]

We got Irish fumes. We got Irish girls we believe are fumeless. Giannis's theory is, if you have red hair or any red hair in your DNA, you cannot possibly have fumes. That's his feeling on it all. Yeah.

[C]

It's a scientific evidence. Or if you look at this area right here under the ear.

[A]

Now, who is this one? She's Black Irish.

[C]

Irish.

[B]

Miss Ireland.

[A]

Funa Guela O'Reilly. How do you say that? Fionnuala.

[B]

Fionula. That was great.

[A]

Thank you. Fionnuala O'Reilly. I went to school with a girl named Fionnuala.

[B]

Do you wanna have a go with that? G R A I N N E. What would that name be?

[A]

Show me again.

[B]

It's way over to the left. D R A I N N E.

[A]

Second Dine, I would say. Miss Ireland. Grainy Gallagher. Yeah.

[C]

Granny Gallagher.

[A]

Grain grind. How do you say Granya?

[B]

Granya.

[A]

I mean, Granya is a fucking pea.

[B]

Yeah, she is.

[A]

And she. Yeah, she has no fumes. Absolutely zero fumes.

[C]

The women in Ireland are beautiful, right?

[A]

Oh, gorgeous.

[B]

And because we're like. We just have the sea around us and we're not like, we're not landlocked at all. The. The fumes are getting blown away.

[A]

No, they, they, they really are the girl. The girls in Ireland are, are beautiful. Yeah. Cuz it's just, you know, it's just ain't easy.

[B]

It ain't.

[C]

It ain't easy out there.

[A]

Yeah, it ain't easy. It just ain't easy. Cuz now women in every country, there's women every country.

[C]

Beautiful everywhere.

[A]

It's just what it is. Cuz it just doesn't seem natural.

[C]

Now you're married?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, he's a married kid.

[C]

He's a good kid.

[A]

How many kids? Kids?

[B]

Two.

[C]

Two kids.

[B]

Two boys.

[C]

Oh, how old?

[B]

Four and two.

[C]

And what, you're just, you're raising them neither Catholic or Protestant?

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Now do you. Because the thing is in Ireland and these Europe and in these countries, you know, is it all about like being bigger, better, getting the most money? Is that how your mind is? Because in America this is how it is. It's like if you're not fucking crushing it, every year we like start to feel like losers.

[B]

Oh, no, we're the opposite. So like in America, if you do something like an achievement moment, you, you say it and people love it, people lose their minds, like amazing or whatever. In Ireland, you. That's not an option. Like, you can't do that. You're not, you can't big yourself up.

[C]

You have to be humble.

[B]

It's a thing about. Don't get above your station. Right.

[A]

You know, but like, what about like even like, you know, fame and fortune and all that, that's. These are not big goals in Ireland.

[B]

No, no, no. Like I would never. Like, America is obviously like the comedy capital of the world. And like when I come to New York or Austin or la. It's incredible. But I love it as a novelty. Like, I could probably. I've got my visa, so I could probably like spend time here and try and move on up through the ranks. But you could never pay me to leave where I live.

[A]

Because you like. Because you like the idea of like, you just. You like, you do well enough there.

[C]

Yeah, it's more about having fun there and like enjoying it and like.

[B]

Yeah, and like everywhere has its issues, but I feel like it's overall pretty calm place. Like we're talking about the religious division. That's way better. It still lingers a bit, but it's way better than it was.

[A]

I remember in Belfast, one of the guys who was running, I think I was doing it was the one I went in there in 2023. What the hell was the name of that room?

[B]

The Limelight.

[A]

The Limelight.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When I did the Limelight, I remember the guy, one of the guys running it. I did one show and I said, I was like, oh, man, it would have been great to add two. He was like, why? He was like, you go to dinner after this and you'll enjoy your time here. And I was like, oh, like, he just said that simply as if to say, why are you always trying to go after the money? And because it's an American thing. Do two shows, make the money.

[B]

Because you'd already made four grand, that makes you like the third richest man in Ireland. Why not just go in and get dinner?

[A]

Yeah, because I think that's why you.

[B]

Were buying all the properties.

[A]

So. Yeah, I went to fucking Shout out Dean's Meat Locker. Oh yeah, Shout out Dean's Meat Locker, which was awesome. And that place was great. And that's actually my name on Grindr now. Yeah. And. But. But dude, it was very eye opening to me because he suddenly said it and I was like, huh, this American idea of like, more, more need. More need to have a live in a gated fucking mansion. It's like, that's just American shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You will free yourself from that if you don't think like that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Like the.

[A]

The wealthiest comedians in. In Ireland do well enough. Yeah. Yeah, great. You don't have to have seven Ferraris.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Over there. Yeah, that's smart. See, that's a freeing way to live.

[C]

Oh, they're not the only country that lives that way either. It's the same in Scandinavia. It's the same everywhere. I mean, we're just a new. Well, the thing is Americans, we Came here to loot.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Our ancestors came here to loot.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, we're. Imagine the personality of the person who left there. Comfort of their home with their relatives.

[A]

Right.

[C]

All our, like, grandparents. They're greedy little bastards.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

They were misfits that didn't hate, that didn't like their families. And they're like, we're gonna go over here and get as much as we can, because we're even.

[B]

What it is even. Like, some. Like, there's some cool people who've come from Ireland to hear Hercules Mulligan, I was big into.

[A]

Who's Hercules Mulligan?

[B]

He was part of the American Revolution. He's like, in Hamilton. He was like a real guy. Left a place called Coleraine in Northern Ireland to come over. Over to America. And he was. He was. He was a tailor. So during the American Revolution, he would be measuring up the. Like, the Americans, like, all the generals and stuff. And then he was, like, doing a little bit of eerie wigging in the conversation, I think maybe when he would maybe suck the dick. I don't know what he did. Like, he. But. But he was getting the information and he was bringing it back to the founding Fathers. And then that helped because he intercepted some. They were gonna do some battle or whatever, some attack. And he intercepted a fellow.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And he's like, see, that's fine.

[A]

I never heard.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Hercules Mulligan.

[A]

Yeah, Hercules Mulligan. That's a good hyena's episode. Deep dive. So. Yeah. Cause it is. I do like being around that energy because, you know, like, Giannis is. You have European. You have a European brain inside of America. In an American body, your brain is more European. You're very good at living. You always preaching. You're not pre. You're always talking about, hey, it's more from experience. But it's just. But it's looking around. It's smart, because I don't have that sometimes. And. And I'm like, you know, why do I feel all this pressure and stress? Like, well, why do you. Why do you need everything?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Just cal down.

[B]

Part of being from Ireland, living in Ireland, is you just sit down sometimes and you do nothing. I can see, like, here, everything's like a mile a minute.

[A]

That would be laziness. Here.

[B]

Talking about things where it's like, sometimes we just sit down and we just relax. Yeah. What's your.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

What have you, like, picked up about Americans? What do you see? Like, how would you explain. If you're talking your buddies back home, what do we, like, tell us the good and the bad and the ugly care.

[A]

We have guns in here.

[B]

So.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So enthusiastic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

About. About everything.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, everything at all, like, is. Is enthusiastic. You guys. You guys get behind everything. The. And. And I. And I actually love, like, coming over here. Like, I've been coming over here for shows for, like, seven years or whatever, and I know there's, like, big issues, but I actually find, like, New York's crazy, like, so wild. But, like. Like, the first time I came to New York, I got off the subway and. And the first person we spoke to were on, like, a family trip. A homeless guy said the sentence, put your dick in my mouth and we'll see who's gay. And I didn't have time to work out the science behind that.

[A]

I was like, I don't know whether.

[B]

This is a trick or not.

[A]

That's true. Well, it's just the kid went to Catholic school. That's just a Catholic school trick that we do.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

So I'll see stuff here that I would never see back home. But then also, when you kind of go to different cities and places where it's more, like, laid back and you get maybe a sense of more real America.

[C]

America.

[B]

People are really, like, hospitable and really friendly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I was in Austin, Texas, and San Diego, especially the west coast, people are, like, People are very, very friendly. Yeah, that. That's a. That's a misconception that, like, people say Americans are rude. Right.

[C]

New Yorkers are rude.

[B]

When you get the rude people, it's really rude.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, it's really rude. Yeah. Like, also, here's a weird. Like, when I. When I say, like, say someone holds a door open for me, or I hold the door open for someone. Someone, and they say. I say thank you, and they say, that's rude.

[A]

That is rude.

[B]

But they don't mean it like that. But we would just see that as rude.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So in Ireland, wherever you hold the door in there, you're like, thank you.

[B]

You give hug, little kiss.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Suck a car around the back, all that kind of stuff. But. And then the down. The downside is, like, you say, like, things. Things move too fast.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And. And there's like, like, the homeless situation. Like, we would. You wouldn't get, like, obviously, there's homeless people in Ireland.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it's not as big. I feel like we.

[A]

What would you do, like, differently than us? Like, why is our homeless like that and yours isn't? Are you helping them more?

[B]

I feel like there's way more and there probably is this in America, but I obviously don't see it because I don't live here. But I feel like there's more. Like I see more shelters, I see more outrage.

[A]

You see you're not lighting them on fire.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

You have to light a few on fire just to send a message to.

[A]

The rest of solid is right.

[C]

Right. Like you, you like one on fire.

[B]

Yeah. And the guns. I can't talk shit about the guns thing because we. We have them.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You have guns in Ireland? Yeah.

[B]

You're not allowed, but like people will have them. Everyone's uncle has a gun.

[A]

But no shootings.

[B]

No.

[A]

I think other than the troubles.

[B]

I think it's like the alcohol thing, you know, it's like, it's like, you know, it's crazy. Everyone's doing it all the time here. We don't do it that often, but when we do, you go big. They do it.

[A]

Yeah. We haven't had a school shooting in a while, by the way. I'm not sure why they just maybe.

[C]

Not on the news.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean you could go by the way, the craziest sentence of all time.

[A]

Yeah. School shooting.

[B]

You're like, what do you think of America? You're like, we haven't a school shooting in four days.

[A]

Yeah. Three months maybe. Check.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, you've just jinxed it though.

[C]

This is interesting though. So Hercules Mullen Mulligan. Hercules Mulligan, his information directly saved George Washington's life on at least two occasions by warning him of assassination attempts and troop movements. So the kid was very important.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The culprit ring, that was the spy network he was in.

[A]

That was a big.

[B]

He was a member of the Sons of. The Sons of Liberty.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

The Culpepper, the Culpa ring. We could go see that. That's in Long Island. We should take a nice trip out to Satucket one day. Nice.

[C]

But you know, that's interesting. That's how much the Irish hate the British. That he probably came here just to help us.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Cuz the Irish didn't even have a dog in the fight really. But they're like, we hate the British so much we're going to send dudes to come help these Americans. Cuz we hate those.

[B]

This guy's going on a three year boat ride.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He's going to lose a leg on the way over. But he was like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He was close friend of Alexander Hamilton. Which you know for a fact, like Alexander Hamilton loved all the information. He was getting. But he didn't understand it. But he was telling him he couldn't understand. He's like, write it down. Write it down.

[C]

They're coming.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Know.

[C]

Was George Washington come over there? Like, I can't understand you, bro. Slow it down. Yeah, no, yeah, the pikey speak like that, right? The guy, the. The traveling dudes.

[B]

So the pike. So, yeah, it's a. Like, typically, that's a thick. Like, because my accent isn't that thick.

[C]

They don't like being called pikey. No, no, no, no. So I just insult you.

[A]

Just did a slur. It's okay. You're safe in the confines of the United States. They can't hurt you here.

[C]

Yeah, they don't. They don't have passports, though. They can't get in.

[B]

Right? I've met a few.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

But they're the sort of guys you meet when you're here that are Irish. And I'm like, how long are you visiting for? A guy's like, I came here 18 years ago. Do you go home often? He's like, I can't.

[C]

You know, he's got legal issues.

[B]

Yeah, they're here.

[C]

So what do they like being called, then?

[B]

The right term be traveler.

[C]

They like being called the traveler.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. And so they just. They don't have, like, houses. They move.

[B]

Well, they. They.

[A]

So I'm a traveler.

[B]

Some do.

[A]

You would say you would see a traveler. I've moved nine times in nine years.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That is wild.

[C]

You're a runaway slave. You're a traveler.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I got my gypsy, like.

[B]

Yeah, so. So, like, Romy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A lot of. A lot of the guys now would be, like, they're settled travelers.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So sometimes they get offered, like, housing, but sometimes, typically, they'll, like. They. They will go into your house and not like it. Yeah, you know, they'll be like, nah, I would just rather be, like, moving around or be in the caravan or whatever.

[C]

Now, why. Who are they? Are they Irish, indigenously?

[B]

Like, who's a huge Irish traveler population? There's a lot of travelers in England, and there's. There's different kinds as well. And there's like.

[A]

And how did they come about?

[B]

Yeah, I. I actually don't know. I know. I imagine they started as Romany gypsies, although maybe I don't want to get that wrong. But, like, yeah, this is. It's a big European thing, but loads of Irish travelers. A lot of Irish travelers in England.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tyson Fury's family.

[C]

Yes. Travel travelers.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

That's where they fight some. Now, as far as the bare knuckle fighting in Ireland.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's fun. Those are fun videos to watch.

[B]

Yeah. The college video. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Comment for you.

[B]

Yeah, I did it. I did a boxing sess with that friend of the Pulitzer Cone. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He was supposed to come on today. As a matter of fact, we canceled him because we had you. Yeah, but there you go. Yeah.

[C]

You ever watch those videos, though? It's like family. They have like Family feud polite videos and they make like. They actually make like they cut promos.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So. And it's like this whole underworld of bare knuckle boxing and it's all family rivalries and like real Irish shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just want to say that Jesse spelled knuckle N, U, C, K, L, E. Which also sounds like a slur.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So what they do is these are like. A lot of these guys are old boys. They're like in their 60s, right. They beat the out of each other in a car park and then they share.

[C]

Yeah. And then they love each other.

[A]

Yeah. And Tyson Fury's family. Not Tyson Fury.

[B]

No, no, no. I think people in his family have maybe done.

[A]

But Tyson Fury will probably bare knuckle fight you too.

[B]

I'm sure he would.

[C]

Yo, you bit Aiden. I didn't. You beat my brother.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I'm coming in the parking lot and I'm gonna beat you.

[B]

Look at this.

[A]

Holy. Yeah. That guy is jacked.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

They get paid. No money. No, but they train.

[B]

Your family's honor.

[C]

It's family's honor. It's like samurai shit.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And then they see a Khan's after.

[A]

And it's like playing for a country in the Olympics.

[B]

There's that. There's a movie there called Knuckle. It's all about this. It's unbelievable.

[C]

Is it a documentary?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wild.

[A]

I would not ever want to fight that guy.

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

If that. If I come home and that guy's fucking my wife, then he just has my family and I just walk away.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But this is how you see everyone around the world. World has holes in their roof. Like these guys.

[A]

Leaky roof.

[C]

So this guy, like, so what they'll do, the families will fight. Whatever. The guy will train.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So be like, what are you doing? You're training. He's trained. He's like, are you getting paid? No, no, it's a family dispute.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And they'll train and they'll fight each other. How long do they train? Like they.

[A]

Their whole life.

[C]

Their whole lives and they agree to it. Right. Like we're going to fight on this date.

[B]

It's like all family rivalries. So they do those call outs and they're like, I'll see you 7am this car park or whatever, and then it's done and you have to go defend your family on.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's just. And is it technically illegal in Ireland?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

They just find a way.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Irish travels get it done, like.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, Irish travelers have a population around 40,000, so they are considered an ethnic minority. I mean, this kid's franks and beans and got a leaky roof. The kid with the hat on.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

See, because our weather's that bad, once you have a leaky roof, you can't. We can't patch it up.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, all these kids have leaky roofs.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. These kids.

[B]

That's why we wear flat cups.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

To patch it up. The rain still gets through.

[A]

I mean, look at these kids.

[B]

These kids.

[C]

Look.

[A]

I mean, the kid's name is Gigsy. Yeah.

[B]

The thing is, though, they take this. They take this so seriously that when I land, like back in Dublin, they're going to be waiting after this out. I got to fight these guys. They do, right? They take it.

[C]

Really? So I shouldn't have said I shouldn't.

[B]

Have to fight these guys.

[A]

Well, if we ever go on tour in Ireland, these guys will come to the show.

[B]

They.

[A]

They have a long memory. Yeah.

[C]

Listen, Ohandan Farmer family. I'm Giannis Pappas. You said something. I'm saying it right here in the podcast. Meet me at fucking Dublin's pub on and we'll fucking settle it. Yeah, you fucking pikey.

[B]

They'll settle it.

[C]

They'll settle it. I'm just kidding.

[A]

I'm just joking here. And oh, Hanlon family, if you need a fluffer for that fight, I'm your guy.

[C]

Yeah, well, let me tell you, yeah. My friend Chris said your whole family's pussy and you're Protestant boys.

[B]

There will be people who will pay you now to come over for a show.

[C]

We're just joking, guys.

[B]

We're just.

[C]

I do not want any problems with any Albanians. Fucking pikes. I mean, travelers. Yeah, I don't want any problems.

[A]

You don't want.

[B]

No problem.

[C]

No problems. I love. I love travelers.

[A]

Speaking of travelers, Shane's got to go.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, what airline you flying?

[B]

Home Air Lingus, baby.

[A]

Oh, fucking love airlines.

[B]

I don't go with a lot of the American Airlines because I Did Southwest and the boys are just wearing their own clothes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like, even the pilot, it's no good, you know what I mean?

[A]

But Aer Lingus, now, because you're just Irish royalty, they bump you up to first class. You just buy first class ticket going home. What's your rule?

[B]

I tried and they've said, they said, listen, get into that lounge, no problem. But then I don't, I don't like the lounge because I like to go to American eateries that we don't. Like a Shake Shack. We don't really. We don't have that back home. Right. So I have the lounge access, but I'll just go in, snap a pic for the IG story and then leave.

[A]

And then leave, Right?

[B]

Yeah, right, right. Tag them up.

[A]

You know, Air Lingus, when I flew it last time, I flew it from Shannon Airport. If you ever go to. I went to. Flew from Shannon Airport, direct flight to jfk.

[B]

It's a guy's house.

[A]

Yes. And it's, it's like they have the same planes as Jet Blue.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, it's a Jet Blue.

[B]

You got to push start it.

[A]

Yeah, seriously, it was a nice flight. Tim, Dylan's calling.

[C]

Yeah, we'll talk to him. I'll call him back.

[B]

I did his support in Belfast too. He was great.

[C]

Oh, he's Jimmy D, baby.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, he. I mean, you are his type.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Want to take a bite out of you.

[B]

I opened for him in Belfast and then did 15 minutes of the show.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So tell the fans about some Irish comedians that are great. I know Dylan, Dylan Mourn. Dylan Moore is great. Yeah.

[B]

There's a lot of Tommy Tiernan.

[C]

Tommy Tiernan. You guys should check out all these guys.

[B]

The comedy, like, like, so Belfast, my home city. Like, even our comedy scene, you got like half a dozen local comics have played the arena in the last couple of years. Like, that is unheard of for, like, audiences to support their local comics. It's unreal. So, like, you would never have come over before. You would have just done Dublin. Your promoter or agent would have said, just do Dublin in Ireland. But now people are coming to Belfast, dude.

[A]

When I did Limelight, Louis CK was there the week before.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So it's like the, the comedy is, is awesome and.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Big in Belfast.

[B]

Yeah. Belfast, Dublin, Galway, Cork. All big comedy cities. And they love, like me, they love American.

[A]

Yeah, they love it. Yeah, yeah, it's awesome. You got to go. Yeah, they would love you.

[C]

Where could people check you out?

[B]

She and Talk comedy on social media platforms and then I host a Tea With Me podcast. Would you. You did on Zoom.

[A]

I did on Zoom.

[C]

I did it on Zoom as well.

[B]

You did on Zoom. You'd taken some medication and you were just getting used to.

[A]

Used to Johnny Clowney's.

[B]

Oh, the. I don't know, but your mice was moving a lot.

[C]

Yeah. Clonip, probably. That was right. Right after I had Covid. Yeah, right.

[B]

Yes. That's what it was.

[C]

That's what it was.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Five years ago.

[A]

Yeah, that was five years ago.

[C]

Five years ago. 2020 meds. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, thanks for coming in.

[A]

Well, thank you, Shane boys.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I appreciate it. I wish luck leaving the nation. We'll see what happens.

[B]

Yeah, I'm. You guys know I'm a Patreon.

[A]

You are?

[B]

I'm. I'm.

[C]

Oh, you're on Patreon.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

This is a Patreon.

[B]

This is. Is my favorite part.

[C]

Oh, thanks, dude.

[B]

This is my favorite part.

[A]

Look at us, baby.

[B]

I love it and I'm so happy it's back. Thank you so much for having me on.

[A]

Let's plug these.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

We got a Frisbee on. Nice.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Glad to have you.

[A]

All right, baby.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you, boys.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10 upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop? Voted PC Mag's reader's choice. Top laptop brand for 2025 thin and ultralightweight. The LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere, and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa. Com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11 PCMag readers choice used with permission. All rights reserved.