Candy Matson, Yukon

Summary

Hollywood 360 — "Candy Matson, Yukon"

Date: May 24, 2023
Host: Carl Amari and Lisa Wolf
Episode Focus: A mix of trivia, games, showbiz chat, and a featured classic radio mystery, “Candy Matson: Yukon 28209 – The Cable Car Murder Case” (originally aired July 7, 1949).

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Hollywood 360 blends lively trivia games, engaging banter, and the complete presentation of the classic radio detective story "Candy Matson: Yukon 28209 – The Cable Car Murder Case." Carl Amari and Lisa Wolf interact with listeners, challenge each other’s knowledge of Billy Joel songs, and share their appreciation for old-time radio. The centerpiece is the rare, pioneering radio drama starring Natalie Masters as Candy Matson, a witty and stylish San Francisco private eye.

---

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Show Introduction and Banter (00:00–01:00)

• Carl and Lisa tease each other and chat about language and names.
• Early banter illustrates their chemistry and sets the tone (“Your Carlness went right out the window.” – Carl Amari, 00:14).

---

2. “Name That Tune” – Billy Joel Edition (01:00–09:40)

Participants:

• Carl Amari (host)
• Lisa Wolf (co-host, game moderator)
• Charlie from Atlanta, GA (listener contestant)

Highlights:

• The segment features quick banter about call-in timing and radio streaming delays (Charlie demonstrates “insider” know-how about getting through as caller 11, 02:06).
• The trio struggles to name Billy Joel hits from short audio clips; they joke about their memory lapses and musical chops.

Notable Quotes:

• “You can be anybody on the radio, so anyhow.” — Lisa Wolf, discussing how radio magic lets you imagine personalities (03:00)
• “Radio is not like television. Very canned … radio is not.” — Charlie, on radio’s unique connection with listeners (03:11)

Song Highlights (Select Timestamps):

• “Movin’ Out” — Stumps both Carl and Charlie (03:39–04:00)
• “Tell Her About It” — Also evades them before Lisa reveals the answer (04:47–05:06)
• “We Didn’t Start The Fire” — Carl gets half a point for “You shouldn’t start the fire” (05:43–05:54)
• “Uptown Girl” — Carl scores a full point (06:38)
• “New York State of Mind” — Carl nails it, moments of casual singing follow (08:00–08:12)
• “Only The Good Die Young” — Eventually identified, with playfully self-deprecating humor about scoring (09:05)

Tone:

• Friendly competition, lighthearted, packed with nostalgic references for 70s/80s pop.

---

3. Classic Radio Feature: “Candy Matson – The Cable Car Murder Case”

Begins: 10:23
Original Air Date: July 7, 1949

Carl: “Natalie Masters starred as female private investigator without a trace of squeamishness, Candy Matson. It was a good series, came to radio in 1949.” (10:23)

Quick Summary of Story Content:

• Candy Matson: Former model turned witty P.I. in San Francisco (“I get into the craziest routines … I turned private eye. You meet a better class of people. Mostly named Rigger or Mortis.” – Candy, 11:57).
• Inciting Incident: On a routine cable car ride, the passenger next to Candy ends up dead from a gunshot wound. Candy is drawn into a murder investigation.
• Investigation:
  • Candy teams with her photographer friend Rembrandt Watson.
  • Research into the family, particularly the shady Ellsworths and their steamship business, reveals clues about the motive (insurance fraud and inheritance).
  • Clever dialogue and period San Francisco atmosphere are notable.
• Resolution:
  • The murderer is revealed to be Mrs. Ellsworth, who hoped to seize control of the steamship company by killing both her brother-in-law and husband.
  • Showdown culminates with a rooftop standoff and police intervention.
  • Candy provides the final summary and her signature dry wit.

Notable Moments and Quotes:

• “A girl has to maintain a nice apartment on Telegraph Hill, keep enough clothes to highlight the displacement I mentioned. And also eat, doesn’t she? Sure. So I turned private eye.” – Candy Matson, (12:00)
• “You heard me. Lift your hindquarters and get back to headquarters.” — Candy to Lt. Mallard, her friend and sometimes-rescuer (17:18)
• “He looked like the advanced man for Lewis and Clark.” — Candy, describing a cable car passenger (14:24)
• “Now, Rembrandt, every man should have a woman. Every woman should have a man. It’s the incontrovertible law of the universe, Candy. You should have a man.” — Rembrandt (19:18)
• “You have just the right equipment for it, too.” — Rembrandt, on Candy’s “legwork” (21:07)
• “You don’t scare easy either, Candy.” — Rembrandt (33:10)
• “Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t. In this case, nobody did. Except Rembrandt. He’d dark room with $50 worth of formula. And not the kind you use on negatives either.” — Candy Matson (44:51)

Candy’s Final Reflection:

• Despite solving the mystery, Candy gets a bounced check for her trouble, but as she jokes, “Maybe I did come out ahead at that. On the way out, Mallard leaned out, kissed me. The first time it ever happened. You know, at times it’s kind of fun to be in the arms of the law.” (45:10)

Carl & Lisa’s Commentary (Post-Show, 23:08; 46:08):

• “I really like this show, Candy Matson. Too bad there’s not very many of these in existence … she was ahead of her time.” — Carl (23:08)
• “She was a great … She was ahead of her time.” — Lisa (23:22)

---

4. Showbiz News, Sponsors, and Music History Segments

Notable Segments:

• Me’s Meals Sponsor Segment (25:01): A light comedic exchange about favorite delivered meals and the ease of home cooking.
• Music History (46:50): Lisa and Carl discuss Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You,” its legacy and background.

Quote:

• “That commercial came out, what, 30 years ago, 40 years ago. We’re still like talking. As soon as I say, hey, Mikey, he likes it … Everybody knows what you’re talking about now.” — Carl, on the cultural longevity of classic ads (46:19)

Tone:

• Familiar, pop culture-rich, blending nostalgia with cheerful commercial pitches.

---

Notable Quotes and Timestamps

| Time | Speaker | Quote | |----------|-----------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:14 | Carl Amari | “Your Carlness went right out the window.” | | 03:00 | Lisa Wolf | “You can be anybody on the radio, so anyhow.” | | 03:11 | Charlie | “Radio is not like television. Very canned … radio is not.” | | 12:00 | Candy Matson | “A girl has to maintain a nice apartment… and also eat, doesn’t she? Sure. So I turned private eye.” | | 17:18 | Candy Matson | “You heard me. Lift your hindquarters and get back to headquarters.” | | 19:18 | Rembrandt | “Every man should have a woman. Every woman should have a man. It’s the incontrovertible law of the universe, Candy. You should have a man.” | | 44:51 | Candy Matson | “Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t. In this case, nobody did. Except Rembrandt. He’d dark room with $50 worth of formula.” |

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Name That Tune — Billy Joel: 01:00–09:40
• Classic Radio Feature (Candy Matson): 10:23–45:37
• Candy Matson Summary & Reflection: 44:51
• Host Reflections & Music History: 46:08 onward

---

Listener Takeaway

This Hollywood 360 episode delivers on its promise of entertainment variety—balancing humorous, unscripted co-host repartee, games, and nostalgia, with a rare gem of a feminist noir detective drama. The hosts’ affection for classic radio shines through, and segments flow with authenticity and warmth. The “Candy Matson” feature is not only a model of mid-20th-century broadcast storytelling (with a strong, witty female lead), but also a springboard for commentary about changing roles, classic media, and the enduring value of radio artistry.

---

Perfect For:

• Fans of classic detective stories
• Old-time radio enthusiasts
• Listeners who enjoy lighthearted trivia and music challenges
• Anyone interested in radio history and pop culture from the 1940s to the 1980s

---

In Their Words:

“She was wealthy, she was sexy, you know, she was cute. She was a great… she was ahead of her time.”
— Carl Amari (23:10)

“At times it’s kind of fun to be in the arms of the law.”
— Candy Matson (45:10)

Transcript

[Candy Matson]

Foreign.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Reflecting on classic radio Hollywood 360 with.

[Carl Amari]

Your host, Carl Amari. You lost your magic. They knocked you off your game. Your Carlness went right out the window.

[Candy Matson]

What's with this car on this?

[Rembrandt Watson]

It's not even a real word.

[Carl Amari]

It's a conjunction, a preposition.

[Candy Matson]

It's a philosophy, a way of life.

[Carl Amari]

It's your name with NIST attached to it. Wow.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Now listen to me. If you'd have done what I asked.

[Carl Amari]

You to and come in my dressing.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Room before the show, you'd have known.

[Carl Amari]

That you weren't supposed to come out.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Here until I introduced you. Jack, I tried to get into your dressing room, but I didn't have a nickel. I understand you're pretty funny as a.

[Candy Matson]

Dj and comedy is a kind of hobby of mine. Well, actually, it's a little more than just a hobby.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Reader's Digest is considering publishing two of my jokes. Really?

[Candy Matson]

Yeah. From Hollywood.

[Rembrandt Watson]

It's time now for Money Dollar.

[Carl Amari]

Leave the gun.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Take the canoli. Quiet, numbskulls.

[Carl Amari]

I'm broadcasting. Hello, everyone, I'm Carl Ol. I'm Alamari, and this is Hollywood 360, the radio show that presents all things entertainment, including trivia, contests and games, movie reviews, celebrity interviews, showbiz news and classic radio shows. My co host is the quintessential Lisa Wolf. In this hour, Natalie Masters stars as San Francisco private eye Candy Matson from 1949. But first it's Name that Tune, Lisa Wolf. Cullen, gentlemen will play short clips from popular Billy Joel songs and a Hollywood 360 listener contestant and I will try to name that tune. And our listener contestant is Charlie from Atlanta, Georgia. Hi, Charlie.

[Lisa Wolf]

Hi, Charlie.

[Candy Matson]

Carl. Lisa, how are you? We're good. How are you?

[Carl Amari]

Great.

[Lisa Wolf]

Glad you made it through. Glad you're with us.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Well, it's not, you know, I'll tell you, I made it through because I listened to you streaming on WGKA 920. The answer.

[Carl Amari]

Yeah.

[Rembrandt Watson]

And the delay is just long enough so that when you start saying the telephone number, I figure caller number 11 is about right.

[Carl Amari]

Well, you guessed it right. You had it timed right. Way to go, Charlie.

[Lisa Wolf]

I'm not for you, Charlie. Because if I said like caller number three, it would have been too soon, correct?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Correct.

[Lisa Wolf]

So I'm gonna have to go with the bigger number.

[Carl Amari]

It's all Lisa.

[Lisa Wolf]

It's all me, Right?

[Carl Amari]

When it's good, it's Lisa. When it's bad, it's me.

[Lisa Wolf]

It's sorrow, that's for sure. Are you a Billy Joel fan, Charlie?

[Rembrandt Watson]

I am somewhat of a Billy Joel fan. Yes. I like Billy Joel.

[Carl Amari]

You know, I remember when Charlie played last time. I think he just cremated me. I'm pretty sure he wiped the floor away.

[Lisa Wolf]

You know, the weird thing is, Charlie, I'm listening to your voice and I hear Jeff Garland. I don't know why.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Really? Jeff Garland? That's funny.

[Lisa Wolf]

No.

[Carl Amari]

Little bit.

[Lisa Wolf]

It's something about the voice.

[Carl Amari]

Little bit.

[Lisa Wolf]

I don't know. That's who I feel like I'm talking to. And you can be anybody on the radio, so anyhow.

[Carl Amari]

True.

[Rembrandt Watson]

That's the great thing about. That's the great thing about the magic of radio, that people really appreciate when they listen to your program. Radio is not like television.

[Lisa Wolf]

Yeah, that is true.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Very canned. And radio is not.

[Lisa Wolf]

Well, I do appreciate your voice. You sound a little like Jeff to me. But, hey, we're going to do some Billy Joel songs. These are all his top songs. I'm going to play a clip, and as soon as you recognize the title, shout it out. Here's the first song.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Okay.

[Carl Amari]

Heart attack.

[Lisa Wolf]

Come on, Charlie, you know it.

[Candy Matson]

Oh, I know the song.

[Rembrandt Watson]

I don't know the title.

[Carl Amari]

I can't remember the title.

[Lisa Wolf]

Should I just tell you? It's moving out.

[Carl Amari]

Oh, moving out.

[Candy Matson]

Right.

[Lisa Wolf]

Written and recorded by Billy Joel on the album the Stranger, 1977.

[Carl Amari]

I had that album.

[Lisa Wolf]

I did, too. Here it is.

[Carl Amari]

And I'm moving out.

[Candy Matson]

All right.

[Lisa Wolf]

That's all right. We've got many more to go. Here's the next song. 1983 hit.

[Carl Amari]

Listen, boy, I don't want to see.

[Candy Matson]

You let a good thing slip away.

[Carl Amari]

You know what? Don't like watching anybody make same mistakes I made. She's a real nice girl.

[Candy Matson]

She's always there for you.

[Carl Amari]

Uptone girl.

[Lisa Wolf]

Here it is. Should I just tell you?

[Carl Amari]

Any idea, Charlie? Oh, what is this?

[Candy Matson]

This is.

[Lisa Wolf]

Tell her about it.

[Carl Amari]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Wolf]

Come on, man. It's a great song.

[Carl Amari]

I didn't know it. I mean, I know this.

[Lisa Wolf]

I just can remember from the album Innocent, number one on the Billboard chart for a week in 1983. Here it is.

[Carl Amari]

Tell her about it.

[Candy Matson]

Tell her everything you feel.

[Carl Amari]

Give her every reason to expect that you're for real. All right.

[Lisa Wolf]

So far, so good.

[Carl Amari]

Oh, man.

[Lisa Wolf]

All right, I think you guys are gonna know this next song. It's highly unusual. Next one came out in, I don't know, 1989, I think. I did this for our newsletter.

[Carl Amari]

I forgot.

[Rembrandt Watson]

What is this one of knowing the song and not the title?

[Candy Matson]

Right?

[Carl Amari]

Yeah. You shouldn't start the fire.

[Lisa Wolf]

I'm gonna accept that. It's. We didn't start the fire. I think that's close enough.

[Carl Amari]

All right, I'm up one. It wasn't exactly right.

[Lisa Wolf]

It's really close. It's over 100 headlines from 1949 to the year of his birth and 1989, when the song was released.

[Carl Amari]

Well, he wasn't born in 89.

[Lisa Wolf]

No, between 1949. 49 and the year of his. That was the year of his birth until 1989, when the song was released. No, he definitely was not born in 89. Although that would have been nice, huh?

[Carl Amari]

All right, Charlie. We're all right. We're not doing great.

[Lisa Wolf]

Not so great. I give you half a point for that one, Carl.

[Carl Amari]

I only get a half a point.

[Lisa Wolf]

Here we go.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Carl. Carl. Our job is not to know. Our job is to be entertaining.

[Carl Amari]

That's right. That's true.

[Lisa Wolf]

And you know what, Charlie? You are entertaining.

[Carl Amari]

Yes.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Thank you.

[Lisa Wolf]

Okay, here we go.

[Carl Amari]

Uptown Girl. Yes.

[Lisa Wolf]

You had a whole point for that one, too. That's exactly right. So, released in 83 on his album, An Innocent Man. He's talking about a working, working class downtown man attempting to woo the wealthy uptown Girl. It is a good song.

[Carl Amari]

Great song.

[Rembrandt Watson]

When was that song released?

[Lisa Wolf]

1983.

[Rembrandt Watson]

83. I think I know why I don't know the title.

[Lisa Wolf]

Are you too young?

[Rembrandt Watson]

No, I was 30.

[Carl Amari]

Well, I'm trying to get a record deal out of this radio show, so I'm gonna sing along.

[Lisa Wolf]

Yeah, you should.

[Carl Amari]

And I'm hoping some record label producer out there says, man, that Carl Amari, he's like a diamond. It's in the rough.

[Lisa Wolf]

In the rough. Very rough.

[Carl Amari]

We could polish him and get him some, you know, some lessons and polish that diamond and, you know, see what can happen. That's what I'm hoping for, Carl.

[Rembrandt Watson]

I could be mean and say, polish.

[Carl Amari]

That something else, but never polish the turd. I know what you were thinking, Charlie.

[Lisa Wolf]

All right, here's our next song.

[Candy Matson]

Some folks like to get away Take.

[Carl Amari]

A holiday New York State of Mind.

[Rembrandt Watson]

There you go.

[Lisa Wolf]

That's exactly right.

[Carl Amari]

Holy cow. How did I get that?

[Lisa Wolf]

I don't know.

[Carl Amari]

I'm a big Billy Joel fan.

[Lisa Wolf]

I can't tell, though.

[Carl Amari]

I've seen him in concert a few times.

[Lisa Wolf]

It's been a while.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Yeah.

[Carl Amari]

Oh, yeah, here it is. You got New York State of Mind. Who sings better, me or Billy Joel?

[Lisa Wolf]

Let me hear it. You don't know the words to this one? It's a little slow for you.

[Carl Amari]

Yeah.

[Candy Matson]

All Right.

[Lisa Wolf]

We'll try the next one.

[Carl Amari]

Seen all the movie stars. Are you ready? Is that pretty good?

[Lisa Wolf]

That was excellent. I'm sorry. I didn't get that on video.

[Carl Amari]

Oh, gosh.

[Lisa Wolf]

Okay, here we go. The last song from Billy Joel's 1977 album, The Stranger.

[Carl Amari]

Huh? Virginia, don't let any weight, you Catholic girl Styled much too late.

[Candy Matson]

Charlie, come on.

[Carl Amari]

Only the good guy young I counted.

[Lisa Wolf]

On you, you locked down Only the good guy young Very controversial for it.

[Carl Amari]

Only the good die young.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Listen, I provide an opportunity for Carl to win and win big.

[Carl Amari]

Yeah, that's true.

[Candy Matson]

You know what?

[Lisa Wolf]

It doesn't come along that often. So I suppose Lisa.

[Carl Amari]

He mopped the floor with me last time.

[Lisa Wolf]

All right, well, we're gonna have to have you call back and mop up again, okay?

[Carl Amari]

All right, well, we gotta run. But, Charlie, you're awesome, buddy. I'm gonna send you some CDs, okay?

[Rembrandt Watson]

We had lots of fun. I appreciate listening to you. I do want to say that I wish that 920 would air the last hour of your program.

[Carl Amari]

Well, they don't do well. Anyway, we gotta go. Thanks, buddy. Thank you. Take care. More of Hollywood360 after this.

[Rembrandt Watson]

More Hollywood360 after these important messages. Now back to the best in classic radio on Hollywood 360.

[Carl Amari]

Natalie Masters starred as female private investigator without a trace of squeamishness. Candy Matson. It was good series came to radio in 1949. And we have a 1949 broadcast called the Cable Car Murder Case. From July 7, 1949. Here's Natalie Masters as Candy Matson. Yukon 28209.

[Candy Matson]

Hello, Yukon 28209. Yes, this is Candy Matson.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Do you have a little unsolved murder in your home? Got some blackmail you want to unload? Are you the victim of some vulgar extortionist? I know a girl you should meet. She may not be the greatest private eye in the world. So what if it does cost you 3 or $400? She sure is sweet. She's Candy Matson. Like to meet her.

[Candy Matson]

Hello?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Candy Matson.

[Candy Matson]

Well, I wasn't sure when I looked in the mirror this morning.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Had a rough night, eh?

[Candy Matson]

Oh, there have been rougher ones. Look, voice, before you get caught with my receiver down. Who are you and what do you want?

[Rembrandt Watson]

As to who I am, you'll find out very shortly. What I want is you.

[Candy Matson]

How romantic. And over the phone.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Yeah, let me finish. What I want is you to lay off that cable car business.

[Candy Matson]

Oh, that. Well, I'm afraid I can't you see, I was sitting beside him when they discovered his transfer had been punched. Sort of permanently. That's how things happen with me. I get into the craziest routines. You see, I used to be a model. I've been told I have the proper displacement for such a career. But I found there wasn't enough money in it. A girl has to maintain a nice apartment on Telegraph Hill. Keep enough clothes to highlight the displacement I mentioned. And also eat, doesn't she? Sure. So I turned private eye. You meet a better class of people. Mostly named Rigger or Mortis. Now, take this cable car deal. It's positively fantastic. But after all, this is radio, isn't it? Like to hear how the whole thing happened? Leave us trip along to act one. I wanted to get downtown that morning, but I couldn't take the F car on stock. They were ripping up about 87 streets, which is par for the course. So I walked down Telegraph Hill and up to Mason. That's where the Bay and Powell cable car stops.

[Rembrandt Watson]

All aboard. Come on, Lana. Show that shapely ankle. We gotta make the Fairmont by Whitsuntide.

[Candy Matson]

The car was loaded and so was the character next to me. I tried to budge into the seat between him and a Fisherman's Wharf dowager, but I couldn't quite make it. I'd forgotten my shoehorn. Say, pardon me, but would you mind reading your Wall Street Journal over that away a bit? I'd like to sit in here.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Oh, if you insist.

[Candy Matson]

A night of old. He budged his hips a quarter of an inch and I slipped in, ready for my rocket ride over the hill and down into town. The trip, as usual, was uneventful. Three smashed fenders and several choice words I'd never heard before, but I wrote them down. By the time our prairie schooner reached the turntable at Market street, the crowd on the car had thinned out. But Buster was still beside me, his head buried in common and preferred Market Street. I started to get down.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Hey, lady, take your boyfriend with you. We're heading back up the hill.

[Candy Matson]

Boyfriend? I'll sue. He looks like the advance man for Lewis and Clark.

[Rembrandt Watson]

How do you like that? He fell asleep over his stocks and bonds.

[Candy Matson]

I looked again. Hipsy wasn't asleep. Hipsy was stone cold dead on Market. What a twist. I, who always went on the prowl for a whodunit, get one literally tossed into my lap. He just hadn't gone out of this world serene like. Oh, no. There was a steady slurp, slurp of blood trickling down his vest just north by northeast of the equator. After a half hour wait full of questioning by homicide leg men, I knew my morning shopping tour was rained out. And after all, I was only going to buy an emerald clip to match the glint in my eye. Well, that would have to wait. I knew the next step. I grabbed a cab home. I wasn't long in waiting. Right on cue. And if it was the right cue, it would be Lt. Ray Mallard from headquarters, daintily pressing his cuticles against my apartment buzzer. I was right.

[Rembrandt Watson]

What?

[Candy Matson]

I've been expecting you. Come on in, Mellard.

[Rembrandt Watson]

You've been expecting me? Why, Candy.

[Candy Matson]

Naive little rover boy. You. Have a drink?

[Rembrandt Watson]

No, no, I'm not in the mood. Just make it a double.

[Candy Matson]

Sit down, Mellard. Let's be civilized. Take off your hat.

[Rembrandt Watson]

It is off.

[Candy Matson]

Oh.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Candy, for once, I'm puzzled.

[Candy Matson]

You're just saying that.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Yeah, because it's true. I've checked and rechecked. No matter how many loose ends I tie together, I still get no connection between you and Dwight Ellsworth.

[Candy Matson]

Dwight?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Who's worth Ellsworth? Your extremely limp traveling companion on the cable this morning.

[Candy Matson]

Mallard, I can give you an angle on that.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Yeah?

[Candy Matson]

Yeah. The angle being that I didn't know him from Adam Level Straight. Oh, look, honey pot, this mediocre dialogue is getting us nowhere. What did you haul your size 11s in here for?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Oh, frankly, I don't know. Here, fill it up, will you?

[Candy Matson]

Well, you're not just going around in circles, Mallard. You're going around in doubles.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Yeah, yeah. Like I've said before, Candy, you've got a pretty view from here.

[Candy Matson]

Oh, wait till I turn around.

[Rembrandt Watson]

I mean, from your window. Look at that ship down there just docking.

[Candy Matson]

Hmm. Where?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Down there. There's romance for you. Probably just in from the Far East.

[Candy Matson]

Here's your drink.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Oh, thanks.

[Candy Matson]

You know, it is sort of romantic. Don't you think it'd be fun to jump on a tramp like that and whisk off to the South Seas on a honeymoon?

[Rembrandt Watson]

No.

[Candy Matson]

That's what I thought. South Seas, Mallard.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Don't call me Mallard.

[Candy Matson]

Why not? We're just playing for ducks, aren't we?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Ah, very crisp. Playing for ducks. No, Candy, we aren't. Not in this case. We've got a dead man in our hands. Rudy Toot toot. Shot right through the heart. And you were sitting next to him.

[Candy Matson]

Sure, sure. Go on now, get out of here.

[Rembrandt Watson]

What?

[Candy Matson]

You heard me. Lift your hindquarters and get back to headquarters.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Candy. I don't like that look. You've got something on your mind.

[Candy Matson]

Yeah, yeah. But you wouldn't recognize it if I told you about it.

[Rembrandt Watson]

One word of warning. Don't dabble. You're in deep enough. Got it?

[Candy Matson]

Got it. Here's your hat. Grab it. So long, Mallard. See you around a jailhouse sometime. Fy foo fum. Twas then I smelled a big fat fee. That great big kind of attractive mallard. He missed the boat. Oh, he saw it, but he missed it. It was that ship he saw docking. That was the first time I came out of the dark since my Tunerville ride down the hill in the morning. I needed help, so I called an old friend of mine. If you can call that help. Rembrandt Watson was his name. He was a photographer. And other things. He spent most of his life in the darkroom, dabbling with bottles. His negatives and prints were sharp. His thought processes not quite, but he'd given me assistance in the past, so I called him.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Rembrandt Watson. Speaking. Photography, portraits and camera work.

[Candy Matson]

Yes, Rembrandt, I know.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Also available for gardening, janitorial service and babysitting.

[Candy Matson]

Rembrandt, it's Candy Special.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Earth 21. Who? Candy.

[Candy Matson]

Now you're tuned in.

[Rembrandt Watson]

How dare you, Baggage. I was experimenting with a new type of formula.

[Candy Matson]

90 proof for 100.

[Rembrandt Watson]

100 and candy. It works beautifully. There's a delightful little pixie and a pink ballet skirt in my living room.

[Candy Matson]

Well, leave her there and get over here immediately to my place. Take a cab. I'll pay for it.

[Rembrandt Watson]

I'd much rather have a handsome carriage with a brace of chestnuts.

[Candy Matson]

You've got them in your head. Now, just do as I say and get over here. Float in. Rembrandt.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Gadfre, where's the man to take me? Cloak, gloves and topper.

[Candy Matson]

You're wearing a sport coat and slacks. And you know I have no man.

[Rembrandt Watson]

And therein lies your basic trouble, my dear. You have no man. Now, Rembrandt, every man should have a woman. Every woman should have a man. It's the incontrovertible law of the universe, Candy. You should have a man.

[Candy Matson]

You sure?

[Rembrandt Watson]

I'm no longer a man. I'm Sprite, transcending the world.

[Candy Matson]

Well, stop transcending a moment and come down to earth. We've got a job to do.

[Rembrandt Watson]

How poetic. How idyllic. We've got a job to do for money.

[Candy Matson]

Eventually.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Oh, one of those. Very well, my dear. Bring me up to date.

[Candy Matson]

Well, I. I don't really know if I can or not.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Good. And I shall leave and return to me formula.

[Candy Matson]

Oh, no. What I mean is, the whole story's so fantastic, you'd never believe it.

[Rembrandt Watson]

I might. Try me, Candy.

[Candy Matson]

Well, I get on a cable car and sit next to a character reading the Wall Street Journal.

[Rembrandt Watson]

A strange coupling. A cable car in the Wall Street Journal?

[Candy Matson]

Yeah. And when we get to the end of the line, my friend next to me is dead.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Probably the ride down the hill frightened him to death.

[Candy Matson]

Nuh. He looked like a used punch board. He had a neat little bullet hole through his heart.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Candy, my little ballerina friend in the pink skirt is more believable than what you just told me.

[Candy Matson]

I told you it was fantastic, but none the how it happened. Now, sooner or later, Mallard is going to come out of his fog, and when he does, I'm going to be out of a fee. Me?

[Rembrandt Watson]

That so far doesn't exist, my pretty.

[Candy Matson]

It will if my hunch is right. Now, here's what I want you to do. Go down to the Chronicle and get all the back files you can on Southern Island Steamship Company.

[Rembrandt Watson]

The Chronicle of Pleasure. I have a few questionable companions there who indulge in formulas.

[Candy Matson]

Stay away from those companions and just do as I ask.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Very well, my dove. I go. But entirely against my will. And where will you be?

[Candy Matson]

Around town, Rembrandt. I've got to do some legwork.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Let me assure you, Candy, you have just the right equipment for it, too.

[Candy Matson]

What a joint. I'll bet they mount slit gullets on the walls instead of deer heads. Well, come on, Candy. Get your tools out and screw up your courage.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Yeah, miss, What'll it be?

[Candy Matson]

Nothing right at the moment except information.

[Carl Amari]

Information.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Water. Both free. What do you want to know?

[Candy Matson]

Well, I'm looking for the purser off the Dwightsonia. I hear he does his duty in here.

[Rembrandt Watson]

That's right. Name? Campbell. That head on the table over there belongs to him.

[Candy Matson]

Thanks. Hello, sailor. Hey, Campbell, wake up.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Oh, leave me alone.

[Candy Matson]

Come on, snap out of it.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Who are you? What do you want?

[Candy Matson]

My name is Candy Matson. I want to ask a question.

[Rembrandt Watson]

I'm only drinking. No way.

[Candy Matson]

Not until I find out what I want to know. Dwight Ellsworth was murdered this morning. I thought that would bring you two.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Well, that's the nicest news I've heard since VJ Day. What do you want to know?

[Candy Matson]

Where does his brother live?

[Rembrandt Watson]

That's Stooge. He's got about as much spine as a water eel.

[Candy Matson]

Never mind. I want to find him. He seems to keep his whereabouts as secret as an atomic stockpile.

[Rembrandt Watson]

The whole family ought to be knocked off. He lives out in Seacliffe, 25 Dashiell Road.

[Candy Matson]

Good bartender. Buy my friend a little reward. And one for yourself too.

[Carl Amari]

I really like this show. Kandi Matson. Too bad there's not very many of these in existence, but I really like this show. It's cool. It's like she's a female private eye.

[Candy Matson]

She lives in a really unusual.

[Carl Amari]

Yeah, she lives in like a penthouse apartment on Telegraph Hill in San Francisco. She was wealthy, she was sexy, you know, she was cute. She was a great.

[Lisa Wolf]

She was ahead of a time.

[Carl Amari]

Really was. We'll get back to Candy Matson after this. If you enjoy classic radio shows like the Lone Ranger, the Shadow, Jack Benny, Gunsmoke, Drag Bagnet and suspense, become a member of the Classic Radio Club. Each month you'll receive ten half hour classic radio shows along with historical liner notes. The 10 shows will be on five CDs or via digital download, whichever you prefer. You'll also receive an email every week with a digital link to the full five hour Hollywood 360 radio show and the 30 minute radio rarities podcast that Lisa Wolf and I co host. In total, you'll receive 34 classic radio shows per month. Become a Classic Radio Club [e-mail] or call 815-900-7535. To speak to a live operator, log on to ClassicRadioclub.com or Call 815-900-7535. That's 815-900-7535.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Now back to the best in classic radio on Hollywood 360.

[Carl Amari]

I'm excited, Lisa. What? What are we ordering from me's meals this week?

[Lisa Wolf]

Well, Mike has chosen the truffle butter steak.

[Carl Amari]

Okay.

[Lisa Wolf]

It's got oven roasted potatoes coated in truffle butter and parmesan cheese, roasted broccoli and a juicy truffle buttery steak.

[Carl Amari]

That sounds really good.

[Candy Matson]

Very does.

[Lisa Wolf]

Very fancy.

[Carl Amari]

Man, you're gonna love that, Mike chicken. I'll maybe come over that night. You might have some of that. Come on over.

[Lisa Wolf]

I might have to order a little bit more. You've been known to steal food.

[Carl Amari]

Yes.

[Lisa Wolf]

Lemon chicken Milanese is what you have chosen.

[Carl Amari]

Read more about it to me.

[Lisa Wolf]

You know that crispy breadcrumb coating that makes chicken so delicious? We're cooking it up at home this week and serving it over rotini with capers, lemon and pecorino romano.

[Carl Amari]

It's really good.

[Lisa Wolf]

Classic Italian. Add in its best.

[Carl Amari]

Yeah, no, it's excellent. I've had this. Love it, Love it.

[Lisa Wolf]

Okay, I have decided to order. I'm going to it. I'm gonna go with the honey mustard grilled chicken salad.

[Carl Amari]

Yeah.

[Lisa Wolf]

Tender juicy chicken breast, grapes, cranberry, spinach, arugula, and a slightly sweet honey mustard dressing.

[Carl Amari]

I mean, see, all three of those things I would want.

[Lisa Wolf]

I know, and I don't know. I just don't know how to make it like Meese Meals can make it. They just, they have some kind of a magic because when they put all the ingredients together, it tastes really good.

[Carl Amari]

You know, we're really lucky to have them as a sponsor because they, they make us look good because the food is so good and we promote it to our listeners. They get it. I get tons and tons of emails from listeners saying thank you for turning us on to me's meals. And wow. Was amazing. A 50% off offer the very first time. You try me's meals, folks, if you have not taken advantage of me's meals and this amazing offer of 50% off your first order, what are you waiting for? Right?

[Lisa Wolf]

Right. Now that I know all about me's Meals, Carl, whether they were a sponsor or they weren't a sponsor. Although I like them better as a sponsor, I would continue to order from Mees Meals. I really look forward to it every week and so does the family.

[Carl Amari]

You know, they're just great at what they do. They figured it out. You can get me's Meals in almost anywhere in the United States. They know how to get it right to you. Fresh, prepared, cook you. All you do is cook it. Everything comes to you. All packaged, ready to go.

[Lisa Wolf]

And it comes, it comes like with these ice packs in an insulated case. So it's all fresh and ready to be cooked.

[Carl Amari]

Yeah. 20 minutes, it's on your table. Now here's the special offer. Go to me's Meals. M E E Z Meals. Don't forget to do this now, folks. Go to me's Meals. Check out all the great, you know, dinner items and dessert items and everything. Order your meal and take 50% off by using the promo code. Carl at checkout. When you go to checkout, put Carl in there, Boom, your order is cut in half. Check it out. You're gonna love it. Meese Meals is great. They're. They're a very loyal, amazing sponsor and they've been around a long time. They have it all figured out. Check out me's Meals. M E E Z Meals. Dot Com. All right. We're listening to Candi Matson. I'll bet you she would have ordered me's meals if it was around back in 1949 when this show was on the air. You know what? Because she was busy. She was a private eye. She couldn't, like, go to the store and buy all this stuff. She would order me's meals, come right to her house.

[Lisa Wolf]

Oh, it does make life a whole lot easier.

[Carl Amari]

Right. And she would just prepare it for her family like we do. Right. All right. So, Candy Matson. This is a broadcast called the Cable car murder case. July 7, 1949. Here's the conclusion.

[Candy Matson]

Well, so far, so good. Oh, how did I know about Campbell the purser? Well, you see, I have quite a few friends, most of whom my pal Mellard doesn't approve. So I grabbed a cab and navigated the driver out towards Seacliff. It was so foggy I couldn't see the meter. But I paid him anyway, gave him a neutral tip and dismissed him. There it was, 25 Dashiell Road. An austere looking cabana. One that dared you to ring the front doorbell. I dared. I had the awful feeling I should have been around at the side door delivering hand laundry. Good evening. Well, except for the fog. Yes? Is Mr. Ellsworth in? Yes, he is, but I'm afraid I must ask you to leave. There. There's been a death in the family. I know. That's why I'm here. Come in, please. Thank you. Walk this way, please. Oh, I'm afraid I couldn't, even if I live to be a hundred. Mind your tongue, young lady. You're in the house of an Ellsworth. Oh, hoity toity. The old babe had delusions of grandeur. Well, no need to get uppity with me. I've mingled with royalty. I once played a bit part in a Rita Hayworth picture. But this old gal was really something. She couldn't have been more than 45, yet looked like something out of the Barretts of Wimpole Street. She ushered me into a large ceilinged living room. And there on the divan was my boy, his head lowered into his hands and quite obviously touched. Quite obviously. Roger, this young lady is here to see you. I don't believe you mentioned your name. Candy Matson.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Matson? You in shipping, too?

[Candy Matson]

Of a sort.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Oh, this is my wife, Miss Matson. You'll pardon me if I don't seem hospitable, but my brother was murdered this morning.

[Candy Matson]

I know. I was sitting next to him when it happened.

[Rembrandt Watson]

You were.

[Candy Matson]

Don't talk to her, Roger.

[Rembrandt Watson]

I don't trust her.

[Candy Matson]

This whole thing is a threat of some kind. No, it's not a threat. It's a business proposition. I'll come right to the point. You see, I'm a private detective. Oh, one of those persons. Put your nose back down, Mrs. Ellsworth. I want to get this show on the road. Yes, I'm a private detective and I'm in a spot, too. The police think I'm connected with the case in some way, so I'm here for a double purpose.

[Rembrandt Watson]

I'm listening, Ms. Madison.

[Candy Matson]

Roger, I forbid you to speak with this. This woman. Too late, Mrs. Ellsworth. Now, this is it. I'm in this business to make money. Give me a check now for $300 and I'll find out who killed your brother. And I'll also clear myself. Roger, I'm warning you. Naturally, you want to see the killer of your brother brought to justice, don't you, Mr. Ellsworth? Don't you? I.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Yes, yes. Here, I'll make a checkout right now.

[Candy Matson]

Thank you. Just make it out to Candy Metson. Payable today. The lovely collection of guns you have, Mr. Elsie. You hunt much?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Oh, yes, yes, my wife and I are quite fond of shooting. She's an excellent shot. There you are.

[Candy Matson]

Thank you. I'll be in touch with you sometime tomorrow. Mr. Reed didn't say a word. She just stood there against the fireplace and shot sparks through me. After I waved the check in the air a few times to dry the ink, she showed me to the door. Very clever, aren't you? Taking advantage of a weak willed man. I wonder who made him that way. Don't cash that check. I mean it. Don't cash that check, Mrs. Ellsworth. $300. I need the money badly. I need some new rolls for my player piano. I buzzed back downtown. I wanted to cash that check in a hurry. I knew of only one person who would give me the crisp green at that hour of the night. Uncle Charlie, the honest miller who ran the chase. Uncle Charlie, in the strict sense of the word, was a gentleman. So with a tender little pat on my cheek, he cashed the check. And I went up Telegraph Hill and home. All of a sudden, my eyes did a couple of inverted loops. Oh, my lights were on. Who's in here? All right, speak up.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Ah, Candy, the light of my life. Come join our party.

[Candy Matson]

Oh, Rembrandt, you gave me a scare.

[Rembrandt Watson]

You don't scare easy either, Candy. Got something on your mind?

[Candy Matson]

And Mallard well, how ducky. A midnight soiree. What goes on here?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Well, that chicken you had in the icebox is delicious.

[Candy Matson]

Was delicious. Looks like you've done everything but eat the bones.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Your vintage is suburb too, Candy. Have a little formula.

[Candy Matson]

No. Now, come on, what gives?

[Rembrandt Watson]

That's my line, Candy. What gives? You're in on something and I want to know about it.

[Candy Matson]

Oh, Mellard, believe me, it's nothing. I'm just trying to parley a couple of hunches.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Tall hunches. Look at all those clippings on the South Sea Island Steamship Company. What are they for? I meant to tell you, Candy. I had remarkable success down at the Chronicle. There's everything you want on that steamship line.

[Candy Matson]

Oh, Rembrandt, did you have to tell the whole world?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Candy, you chide me unnecessarily. I merely had the clippings on the table when Hawkshaw here walks in on me. Okay, Candy, take it from there.

[Candy Matson]

I can't tell you yet, Mallard. Nothing makes sense yet. I've got about four loose ends that need tying off.

[Rembrandt Watson]

I'd only put two men to following you. I'd save myself a lot of grief.

[Candy Matson]

Two days, that's all, Mallard. Just give me two days. I think I'll have it for you all right.

[Rembrandt Watson]

But don't forget the boys down at Kearney street headquarters don't love you the way I do. Two days. No more or less. I gotta go. Thanks for the foul chicken.

[Candy Matson]

Ah, very gay. Here, Rembrandt, here's $50 for you. 50?

[Rembrandt Watson]

My word. What's all this talk about a recession?

[Candy Matson]

Go on and take it. Go someplace in stabilize the economy. I whipped through the old newspaper clippings. It was all there. Fire at sea on Ellsworth ship. Two seamen lost off Ellsworth ship near Honolulu. South Sea island line Ship loses rudder in storm. On and on it went, over a period of three years. 3. I threw the papers back on the table, helped myself to some of Rembrandt's formula, turned down the lights and went out on the porch. The bay was dark except for an occasional path of light from a passing freighter. I sat down to think and think. Then click, click, just like that. Two little tumblers, and my mind fell into place. Only one thing to do, and that was to do it the hard way. The next morning, just as the Ferry building siren was announcing 8 o' clock to downtown San Francisco, I got Rembrandt on the phone.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Candy, what on earth are you calling me for at this hour?

[Candy Matson]

Can't Help it. There's work to be done.

[Rembrandt Watson]

I did my work last night so extremely well that I'm just going to bed now.

[Candy Matson]

Sorry. You'll just have to delay your sack time. Meet me at the corner of Mason and Union in 10 minutes. Right where the cable car stops.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Now what are we going to do?

[Candy Matson]

We're going to take a cable car ride.

[Rembrandt Watson]

I'm one of those bouncing, jerky little contraptions. Not the way I feel this morning.

[Candy Matson]

Oh, yes, you are. Union and Mason in 10 minutes. All right, Rembrandt, get on.

[Rembrandt Watson]

This is the silliest thing you've ever done, Candy.

[Candy Matson]

Maybe. We'll see. Dwight Ellsworth was already on the car when I got on. Here. And alive.

[Rembrandt Watson]

How could you tell?

[Candy Matson]

He mumbled something when I asked him to move over.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Sounds logical. Although I once remember stumbling into a corpse who mumbled for hours after he'd been liquigated.

[Candy Matson]

Rembrandt was in one of his rambling moods, so I let him alone. The car pulled over Mason street, down Washington, and then swung on to Powell and up the hill. Now, I watched the buildings and apartments carefully. There was a little red brick building now a big apartment house, a woman's residence club and so on. Then over the hill, more apartments. And the possibilities petered out of Bush. Well, only one thing to do. Canvass all those blocks between Washington and Bush. Okay, Rembrandt, off the car.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Strangest corpse I ever did see. What'd you say, Candy?

[Candy Matson]

Off the car. Come on.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Now what? I just want to get to bed.

[Candy Matson]

Well, not for a long time, Boy Blue. Now, here's the pitch. You take this building and I'll take the next. We'll alternate as we go along. Ask if a tall woman with a horsey face and dressed something like Queen Victoria ever lived around here. Oh, Candy, I know it sounds wild, but it's got to be done.

[Rembrandt Watson]

A horse with a tall face and dressed something like.

[Candy Matson]

Oh, Rembrandt, look at me. Get that smoke out of your brain. A tall woman with a horsey face and dressed something like Queen Victoria. You got it?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Got it.

[Candy Matson]

Okay, get going. It was slow and tiresome, and the answers I got. A tall gal dressed like Queen Victoria. Oh, sister, that was about par.

[Rembrandt Watson]

No. Nobody like that ever lived here.

[Candy Matson]

Are you positive?

[Rembrandt Watson]

A dame who fits that description. Yeah, I'm positive.

[Candy Matson]

The morning wore on and so did we. We were over on the other side of California street now, so we stopped and had a bite to eat. I had pickles with mine, and Rembrandt had olives on toothpicks in a glass. And again we picked up the hunt. My heart was suddenly making with a Roomba. There, just on the other side of Clay, in front of a three story red brick house, was a police squad car. There was a little knot of people gathered around. Daintily lifting my crinoline, I did a Mel Patton down the block and up the front steps. I didn't have any trouble finding the room. The door was wide open and there was a body on the floor. Four representatives of the law were buzzing back and forth. One of the buzzies was. Mallard.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Well, my little ambassador of violence, why is it you're always around the extremely dead?

[Candy Matson]

Candy, I've got no time to brandy the ad libs. Mallard, who is it?

[Rembrandt Watson]

I don't know yet. No identification.

[Candy Matson]

Let me see.

[Rembrandt Watson]

A pen pal.

[Candy Matson]

Maybe I was right. I knew it.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Knew it. Knew what?

[Candy Matson]

You're right. He was a pen pal. He wrote me a check last night for $300. His name is Roger Ellsworth.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Very interesting. Must be open season on Ellsworth. Okay, Candy, time you filled in. In the blanks. Start.

[Candy Matson]

Wait a minute. I want to look at the window over here. Mm. Mallard, there are a couple of younger elders. Ellsworth's living around town here. I'm sure you'd like to see them. Stay healthy.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Yeah.

[Candy Matson]

Get out to 25 Dashiell Road and pick up an old crone, also named Ellsworth. Five will get you 20. She's the one you're after.

[Rembrandt Watson]

All right. But you get back to your place and stay put, understand? I want to have a more illuminating chat with you.

[Candy Matson]

Oh, Mallard, I'm. I'm just like putty in your hands. The moon was coming up over Diablo and spraying a path of silver on the bay. Still no Mallard. I wondered what could be wrong. Well, this was it. This was a showdown.

[Rembrandt Watson]

You seen a tall face with a horsey woman?

[Candy Matson]

Oh, Rembrandt.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Candy, I'm so mad at you, I could. Oh, what's the use now?

[Candy Matson]

What's the matter?

[Rembrandt Watson]

What's the matter? She says. I've been roving all over Powell street, ringing doorbel. Where did you go, you traitor?

[Candy Matson]

Rembrandt, I'm sorry. In the excitement, I forgot all about you.

[Rembrandt Watson]

What excitement?

[Candy Matson]

There's been another murder.

[Rembrandt Watson]

In a moment, there's going to be another. I'm looking right at you, Candy.

[Candy Matson]

Oh, cool off. Have some formula and stop snorting steam. What was that?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Your window, Candy. It just shattered.

[Candy Matson]

What? Oh, wait a minute. That window didn't shatter by itself. Quick, get the lights, Rembrandt, now. Duck down here.

[Rembrandt Watson]

What sort of a silly game are we playing now?

[Candy Matson]

This isn't a game, believe me.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Candy. Candy, are you all right? Yikes, it's the gumshoe.

[Candy Matson]

Yes, I'm all right. Where are you, Mallard?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Over here. Two houses over. We've got your girlfriend trapped on the roof next to you. Don't move and stay covered.

[Candy Matson]

Okay.

[Rembrandt Watson]

All right, Mrs. Ellsworth. Are you coming down peacefully or do we have to play cops and robbers?

[Candy Matson]

I'm not coming down until I get that. Candy. Matt, she did it. She forced me to kill my own brother in law.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Have it your own way. Okay, loosen her up a bit, boys. Better than the fourth of July.

[Candy Matson]

Keep your head down, Rembrandt.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Oh, is that what was up? Ready to come down, Mrs. Ellsworth?

[Candy Matson]

No, I'm not that hateful woman. She's ruined my whole life, all my plans, just because of her snooping and prying. She's going to die, I tell you.

[Rembrandt Watson]

It was a miracle. Candy, you must have moved slightly just as she shot at you.

[Candy Matson]

But it was too close, I can tell you. She's dead.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Oh, decidedly. I think she was dead before she hit the ground. That one shot got her. We went out to her house and she was just driving off when we got there. We trailed her up to north beach, lost her for a block and then spotted a car at the top of the hill here. We arrived just as she was getting on the roof next door. Okay, now you tell me your little dream.

[Candy Matson]

Well, it was that ship docking that set my wheels going around. The name Ellsworth started burning in back somewhere. You saw the clippings we dug up? Yeah. The South Sea Island Steamship Lines were slowly being sabotaged. I did some checking and I. I found that the insurance companies weren't going to renew.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Yeah, I don't know why I didn't tie that in sooner.

[Candy Matson]

Oh, it's just that you have too many things on your mind, Mallard dear. I went out to the place on Dashiell Road and when I left I was pretty sure the old girl had knocked off her brother in law.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Why?

[Candy Matson]

Well, for several reasons. One, she was venomous old witch. Two, you've never seen such a collection of guns in all your life. And her husband admitted she was a darn good shot. I also saw one little pot gun that was very interesting. It had a silencer on it. Uh huh.

[Rembrandt Watson]

That was the one she used on you tonight.

[Candy Matson]

And also the one she Used on Dwight Ellsworth from the window of that apartment where you found her husband.

[Rembrandt Watson]

How do you know?

[Candy Matson]

Go back there. You'll see a nice little bullet hole in the curtain with burned powder all around it.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Now, don't tell me that.

[Candy Matson]

Yes, I'm telling you that she rented that place knowing that her brother always went downtown on a certain cable car. She waited that morning until we were riding by and she plugged him.

[Rembrandt Watson]

I have now heard everything and the.

[Candy Matson]

Reason Dwight Ellsworth, rather than fighting the insurance companies, had decided to sell his steamship line. But the old gal thought she'd beat him to the punch by knocking him off. The steamship company would then fall into her husband's hands.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Yeah, what about her husband?

[Candy Matson]

Well, after he gave me the check and I left, they evidently had a fearful row and she spilled the beans. Somehow she lured him down to that place on Powell and gave him some lead poisoning, too. And that's all there is to it.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Candy, I wish you'd have told me all these things earlier. We might have been able to save the life of Roger Ellsworth.

[Candy Matson]

It wouldn't do any good. Because if she hadn't killed him, I was going to.

[Rembrandt Watson]

What?

[Candy Matson]

Mm. While I was waiting for you to get here, the phone rang. It was Uncle Charlie, the honest Miller, that no good Roger Ellsworth. His check bounced like a brand new golf ball. What's so funny, Mallard?

[Rembrandt Watson]

Listen in again to the further adventures of Candy Matson. Girl sucker.

[Candy Matson]

Well, that's the way it goes. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don't. In this case, nobody did. Except Rembrandt. He'd dark room with $50 worth of formula. And not the kind you use on negatives either. Let's see. Murder on a Cable Car. Dwight and Roger Ellsworth done in as well as the old gal. One check that bounced. It really does sound fantastic, doesn't it? But I told you this was radio, didn't I? Oh, wait a minute. Maybe I did come out ahead at that. On the way out, Mallard leaned out, kissed me. The first time it ever happened. You know, at times it's kind of fun to be in the arms of the law.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Listen again next week at the same time.

[Candy Matson]

For excitement and adventure, just dial Candy Matson, Yukon 28209.

[Rembrandt Watson]

Heard tonight were Helen Cleave, Jack Cahill and Harry Beckle. Jack Thomas as Rembrandt and Henry La left as Mallard. The program stars Natalie Masters as Candy and is written and produced by Monty Masters. This has been a presentation of NBC, the national Broadcasting company.

[Carl Amari]

I liked it. Did you like it, Mike?

[Lisa Wolf]

I like hey, Mike, I thought you're talking to me.

[Carl Amari]

Did you like it?

[Rembrandt Watson]

I liked it.

[Carl Amari]

Hey, Mikey, he likes it. Remember that the life.

[Candy Matson]

Of course.

[Carl Amari]

I mean, isn't that crazy? That commercial came out, what, 30 years ago, 40 years ago. We're still like talking. As soon as I say, hey, Mikey, he likes it.

[Lisa Wolf]

Everybody knows what you're talking about now of advertising.

[Carl Amari]

That's whoever came up with that should own an island right now.

[Lisa Wolf]

Maybe they do.

[Carl Amari]

Anyway. Candy Matson, July 7, 1949, the cable car Murder Case. Starring the great Natalie Masters. Hope you enjoyed that time for this month in music history.

[Lisa Wolf]

This song needs no introduction.

[Carl Amari]

That's Whitney Houston.

[Lisa Wolf]

It sure is. What's the title?

[Carl Amari]

She's singing to me right now.

[Lisa Wolf]

What's the title?

[Carl Amari]

She will always Love me, Lisa?

[Lisa Wolf]

Well, she can't sing to you right now because she has passed away. But I can dream in the past. So this was written and originally recorded in 1973 by Dolly Parton, but Whitney Houston recorded her version, which is what you're listening to right now for the film the Bodyguard, 1992. And it spent 14 weeks at number one.

[Carl Amari]

Yeah, great tune. Yeah, gotta love it. All right, more of Hollywood360 after this with me.

[Rembrandt Watson]

More Hollywood360 after these important messages. And now back to Hollywood360 with Carl Amari.

[Carl Amari]

In our next hour, it's a sci fi adventure of dimension X from 1950. But first we're gonna play Is It Real or Is It Ridiculous? The music edition.

[Lisa Wolf]

That's it. We've got some great songs in the rock. Well, real or ridiculous statements. That's coming up next.

[Carl Amari]

And if I get them all right, I win a pizza.

[Lisa Wolf]

Well, I'm hoping you get them all wrong. Well, last time we were very close to wrong.

[Carl Amari]

I got all of them wrong except for one. Saved myself. Right, but we'll see.

[Lisa Wolf]

You don't want you to save yourself.

[Carl Amari]

We'll see you soon.

[Lisa Wolf]

Did you know Microsoft has officially ended.

[Carl Amari]

Support for Windows 10? Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop. Voted PCMag's Reader's Choice. Top laptop brand for 2014 and 25. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere. And Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag readers choice used with permission. All rights reserved.