Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: 01-05-26 - Fun Facts And Tanning Shares Enzymes w/Ripe Fruit - Fight At KFC Over Gravy Has Us Guessing The Perps - John's Dog Bus Threw Up In His Ear

Date: January 5, 2026

Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo
Station: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio

Main Theme

This episode kicks off 2026 with the signature chaotic energy and irreverent humor the show is known for. The crew dives into fresh NFL drama, offbeat news stories (including bodily oddities and KFC chaos), goofy personal anecdotes (John’s dog vomiting in his ear), and their usual rundown of bizarre internet content. There's also the beloved Brady Report, full of fun facts, weird records, and listener-worthy oddities from both Arizona and the world.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Arizona Cardinals, NFL Coaching Carousel & Football Banter

• Holmberg opens with a breakdown of ongoing NFL coach firings and speculates about the Arizona Cardinals’ future.
  • Explains why college coaches rarely succeed straight to the pros.
  • [01:17] John Holmberg: “College coaches that pop up in the pros ... they get bounced out fast. The best ones, Nick Saban, Urban Meyer, Steve Spurrier ... it's rare. Usually gotta be an assistant, so we'll see.”
  • Details the Cardinals’ injury-plagued season: “They had 300 different variations because of injuries ... that’s a lot in 18 weeks.”
  • Discusses the draft order mess and fans upset about winning “meaningless” games.

Notable Quote

• [03:27] John Holmberg: “Teach Jacoby Brissette to throw with his foot. Stop trying.”

2. Gambling Conspiracies & Officiating Gripes

• John reflects on controversial referee calls affecting point spreads, especially in recent NFL and college bowl games.
  • Mentions ref confusion in Titans game impacting the spread. Wonders if gambling influences officiating and outcomes.
  • [04:53] John Holmberg: “The point spread was four and a half. The touchdown would have screwed that up ... you start to wonder. Everybody's in bed with gambling.”
  • Self-deprecating joke about falling down internet rabbit holes and needing to “get back to porn” rather than obsessing over this stuff.

3. Sports Fandom and the Joy of “Hate”

• A listener email about wanting to care about football as deeply as John and crew sparks a riff on the bizarre joys of sports-rooted hatred.
  • John and Toledo bond over pure, cathartic joy when hated teams lose.
  • [07:02] John Holmberg: “You haven’t experienced that kind of joy until you have hate in your heart for something else. It’s so true.”
  • Jokes that Toledo was happier watching his rival lose than the day his child was born.

Highlight

• [08:04] John Holmberg: “If you love your wife and you're happy and she makes a baby, you have to say that. But ... Toledo was a lot happier getting the number one seed and bouncing San Francisco at home in primetime than he ever was the day Alex was born.”

4. Brady Report: Fun Facts & Odd News

Fun Facts Segment

• Chuck Berry’s only #1 hit: “My Ding-A-Ling”.
• Oregon Trail computer game (1971): Older than Pong—created as an educational tool.
• Enzyme fact: The enzyme that causes browning in apples and potatoes (tyrosinase) is also responsible for human tanning.
  • [11:42] Brady: “The same enzyme that apples and potatoes turn brown is also responsible for tanning in humans.”
  • [11:55] John Holmberg: “They named the stuff that makes you darker Tyrona Sanaz.”

Notable Banter

• The gang riff on the unintentionally funny naming conventions (Tyrona Sanaz), spiraling into a skit about how scientists name enzymes.
• Weather humor: Arizona’s (lack of) winter and appreciative riffing on sunshades for patios.

Weird News Items

• [14:01] Brady: Reports on Florida man firing a shot to celebrate New Year's; the bullet ends up in a woman's pillow.
  • Cue banter about “No Gravity Day” as a safer way to fire guns in the air.
• KFC Gravy Fight (Las Vegas):
  • Two men arrested for attacking a KFC worker over “gravy sauce.”
  • The crew guesses the ethnic background of the perps (classic HMS irreverence).
  • [15:25] John: “KFC doesn’t have gravy. They have gravy sauce.”
  • [16:43] John (re: attempted murder charge): “No. White people name their kids after James ... 48 years ago was 1978, that was in the heart of the Carter administration...”
• Annual Report: ER ‘butt stuff’ reports
  • Brady lists objects pulled from rectums last year: turkey baster, wine stopper, shampoo bottle, sandal, vape pen, pliers, two pencils, marbles, corn cob pipe, and “a bunch of uncooked pasta.”
  • [19:04] John: “A bunch of marbles.”
  • Banter about which items are plausible and downright mysterious.

5. National Trends & Record Breakers

• Reading survey: 40% of Americans didn’t read a single book in 2025. Audiobooks debated—do they count as reading?
• World record teacher: Glenda Aiken worked 61 years at one school.
• World’s oldest living cat: Flossy turned 30; record is Cream Puff at 38.

6. John’s Dog Bus: The Ear Incident

• John shares a gross (but somehow sweet) dog story:
  • Bus, his bulldog, cuddles up and then pukes in John’s ear while snuggling.
  • Gross-out humor ensues.
  • [21:39] John Holmberg: “He puked in my ear ... like, little chewed kibble and cookie bits ... If a human did that to me, I'd kill them. But you gave me the noise. Oh God. And then I laughed.”

7. Popcorn Day, Bubble Bath Soda & Commercial Absurdities

• Popcorn Day (Jan 19): Cinemark will fill five-gallon buckets for $5.
• Mr. Bubble: Releasing bubble bath-flavored soda.
  • HMS jokes about filling Lowe’s buckets with weird flavor combos.
• John jokes about never remembering to bring the refillable popcorn bag—“I’m a grown man, I don’t need to bring an empty bag back for popcorn.”

8. Viral/Crazy Videos & Social Media Oddities

• Parachute fail at the Armed Forces Bowl—skydiver misses his landing and crashes into the stands, injuring no one seriously.
• Internet oddity: “Backwards-headed man” plays guitar by moving his head over it.
  • Laughs, confusion, and a touch of grotesque fascination follow.
• Industrial accident: A shirtless worker gets spun around on fast-moving machinery—grim fascination from the gang.
• Brady’s Christmas confession: He (accidentally) caught his parents in a compromising position on Christmas Eve as a kid—“triggered” by a video.
  • [37:07] John: “I caught my mom blowing my dad... You want some meatballs? She made me a burger, I think.”

9. Bonus: Classic HMS Internet Finds (“Brett’s Videos” Segment)

• Smorgasbord of finds:
  • A guy whacks off while sniffing his shoe, then gets caught on camera.
  • A series of fights, including public rock-throwing.
  • A woman in a wheelchair with a knife lodged in her eye sits calmly in an ER lobby.
  • Various holiday-themed NSFW videos—giant woman sits on the Grinch’s face, a Santa getting serviced while strumming guitar, and more.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [07:02] John Holmberg: “You haven’t experienced that kind of joy until you have hate in your heart for something else. It’s so true.”
• [08:04] John Holmberg: “Toledo was a lot happier getting the number one seed and bouncing San Francisco ... than he ever was the day Alex was born.”
• [11:53] Brady: “Tyrona Sinaz.” (re: enzyme responsible for tanning)
  [11:59] John Holmberg: “They named the stuff that makes you darker Tyrona Sanaz.”
• [15:25] John Holmberg: “KFC doesn’t have gravy. They have gravy sauce.”
• [21:39] John Holmberg: “He puked in my ear ... If a human did that to me, I’d kill them.”
• [37:07] John Holmberg: “I caught my mom blowing my dad ... She made me a burger, I think.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• NFL & Cardinals Talk: 01:17–04:53
• Brady Report – Fun Facts: 10:04–12:18
• KFC Gravy Incident: 15:02–17:21
• ER Butt Stuff Annual List: 18:01–19:44
• John’s Dog Pukes in Ear: 21:37–23:07
• Popcorn/Bubble Bath Soda: 23:40–24:58
• Armed Forces Bowl Parachute Fail/Backwards-headed man video: 28:01–31:23
• Brady’s Christmas Parent Trauma: 37:07–38:01

Conclusion

Packed with snark, off-the-wall Arizona flavor, and a bottomless well of irreverent riffs, this HMS episode is a perfect microcosm of what makes Holmberg’s Morning Sickness #1 in Arizona. Sports fans, weird news junkies, and lovers of gutter-level podcasting will all find something laugh-out-loud worthy—whether it’s dog puke stories or KFC “gravy sauce” assaults—anchored by the crew’s signature chemistry.