01-13-26 - CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: Condensed Short Show - Tuesday (01-13-26)
Date: January 13, 2026

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Overview

This condensed episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness finds the crew—John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo—riffing on everything from awkward public encounters and the stereotypes of certain vehicles to the wild future of AI (inspired by Elon Musk), childhood food hardships, and silly new Gen Z slang. The show’s signature mix of irreverence, storytelling, and group roasting is in full swing, with plenty of memorable lines and playful banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Awkward Public Encounters and Being Recognized

• John recounts a late-night gas station encounter where someone recognized him, yelled, and even took a jab at him verbally.
  • "I was hiding. Really. That's that Holmberg dude, which he'd yell at him. It's punched me right in the guts." (01:10, John Holmberg)
• He jokes about recording future incidents and ponders the pattern: people seem more likely to shout slurs when his friend Mark is in the car.

2. Car Stereotypes & Brady’s Infamous Subaru Outback

• The group dives into a roast of Brady for driving what they call the “lesbian Outback."
  • The Outback, especially in gold with special packages, “Ultra,” “Gold,” or “Navratilova edition,” is lampooned as a car no man purchases voluntarily.
  • "A man driving an Outback is just confusing. No man has an Outback." (06:00, John Holmberg)
  • The running joke is that only lesbians, particularly those into outdoor activities, are supposed to own such vehicles.
  • Brady gamely defends his purchase, admitting, "It's my experimental stage." (07:27)
  • Nostalgia and gentle self-effacement are center stage as John summarizes:
    "That thing just had big V energy coming off. Like angry vaginas." (07:29, John Holmberg)

3. Childhood, Dining Out, and Parental Strategies

• The team pokes fun at restaurant kids’ menus, lamenting "kids eat free" deals and how parents take advantage, to the chagrin of staff and other patrons.
  • "Nobody likes your kids." (13:01, John Holmberg)
• A broader discussion arises about how their parents intentionally gave them "garbage" food to avoid creating expensive taste.
  • "I'm realizing as we talk about this, I was getting rotten like Timothy Busfield. Kids all through my childhood on food, I never got good meals." (16:56, John Holmberg)
  • The consensus: meals like TV dinners, mac and cheese with hot dogs, and bologna sandwiches were not just common, but a strategy to keep costs down and expectations low.

4. Public vs. Private School and Upbringing

• John likens private schools to the new “filtered water,” poking at cultural shifts and guilt tactics used in education.
  • "School is the same because somewhere along the way, they made public schools like... like water out of a faucet." (19:50, John Holmberg)

5. Elon Musk, AI, and the Coming Era of Abundance

• John recaps a podcast with Elon Musk, sharing mind-boggling predictions: in about a decade, AI will make work, money, and even education largely obsolete due to "abundance of everything."
  • "AI will create an abundance of everything … in about 10 or 15 years saving for retirement, there’s no reason to." (24:24, John Holmberg)
  • The room debates:
    • What does this mean for human motivation?
    • Will universal abundance make people lazy, or just shift desires?
    • Brady wonders: "What happens to the people that still want more?" (30:45)
    • John observes, "If there's no more man running things and everything is abundant, we will be Wally. Eat your food, there’s tons of everything." (31:15)

6. AI, ChatGPT, and Trust in Tech

• There’s group skepticism about how much to trust current AI platforms, with a funny concession that trust issues might fade as tech improves:
  • "There’s stuff that gets wrong for sure. But it's two years old. It's a baby. And we're leaning on it, like it's been here forever." (32:20, John Holmberg)

7. Gen Z Slang — "Choppelganger"

• Brady introduces “Choppelganger,” a variant of "doppelganger," meaning an uglier version of someone.
  • "Means you look like someone else. So you're like a doppelganger, but an uglier version." (32:54, Brady)
• Everyone tries to figure out who their “choppelganger” is, with a round of playful self-roasting:
  • John: Johnny Sins (porn star), but he's the “choppelganger” (uglier version)
  • Brady: Butterbean, Andy Reid (insists he’s better looking), and more.
  • Brett: Andy Garcia.
  • Toledo: Rachel Maddow, Tom Arnold, Richard Marx (with long hair).
• "To look at a picture of you side by side to Butterbean and go, 'I don’t know who’s better.' That’s a tough look." (41:10, John Holmberg)

8. Surgery, Skill, and "I Could Do That" Dilemma

• John wonders aloud how quickly his surgeon friend could teach him liver transplant surgery, imagining a world where everything is step-by-step like “land the plane” scenes in movies.
  • Dr. Brink tells John it would take two years of study to be able to transplant a liver—John thinks he could do it faster just by watching.
  • "I could do an open heart surgery by August… The heart's easy. It's like four hunks." (44:39, John Holmberg)
• The rest of the crew expresses doubts, comparing car repairs, bike rack installation, and windshield wiper replacement to the complexity of actual surgery.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Gas Station Fame:
  ”I wasn’t even being personal. I was hiding. Really. That’s that Holmberg dude…” (01:10, John Holmberg)
• On Car Stereotypes:
  "A man driving an Outback is just confusing. No man has an Outback." (06:00, John Holmberg)
• On Kids at Restaurants:
  "Nobody likes your kids." (13:01, John Holmberg)
• On Budget Parenting:
  "My parents fed me garbage, bargain basement ghetto food, to keep me from liking good stuff. So I never asked for it." (17:17, John Holmberg)
• On AI and the End of Work:
  "AI will create an abundance of everything… Will have such an abundance… money will be irrelevant." (24:24, John Holmberg)
• On Choppelgangers:
  "Means you look like someone else. So you're like a doppelganger, but an uglier version." (32:54, Brady) "I consider myself a choppelganger to about 700 bald guys…” (33:00, John Holmberg)
• On DIY Surgery Aspirations:
  "I could do an open heart surgery by August. I’m pretty much—That’s what that’s like, though. The heart’s easy. It’s like four hunks…” (44:39, John Holmberg)
• On Self-Perception:
  "To look at a picture of you side by side to Butterbean and go, I don’t know who’s better. That’s a tough look. I’m well into my admission of ugliness. I’m not sure Brady is there yet." (41:10, John Holmberg)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Public Encounters and Car Stereotypes: 01:10–08:35
• Childhood Dinners and Parenting Philosophy: 12:13–18:44
• School Analogies & Upbringning: 19:21–21:14
• Food Deprivation Realizations: 21:14–23:36
• Elon Musk’s AI Future, Money, and Universal Abundance: 24:22–32:20
• Choppelganger Term and Playful Insults: 32:43–41:28
• Skill Learning, Surgery, and Funny Doubts: 41:29–47:28
• DIY Mishaps (Wipers, Bike Racks): 47:28–49:36

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Tone & Style

Holmberg and his crew keep it biting, self-deprecating, and brash—mixing observational comedy with a Gen X outlook on modern trends, technology, and the absurdities of everyday life. The show is filled with running gags, stories from their past, and rapid-fire group riffing, never lingering too long on one subject but always mining it for a laugh.

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For listeners: This episode is a lively ride through nostalgia, friendly roasting, wild speculation about the future, and tongue-in-cheek wisdom on everything from car buying to surgery. If you enjoy quick wit and the group’s signature brand of honest, unfiltered banter, this short show is solidly on-brand.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holberg]

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[Toledo]

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[John Holberg]

Morning sleeper. And then I just try to get gas. Simply try to enjoy the rest of my night. It had to be 11 o' clock. At 10:30 I'm getting gas. And hey. And he knew and it was he and two other people were with him and he had the biggest smile on his face and I'm just getting gas. No, I wasn't like. I wasn't like hi everybody. I wasn't even being personal. I was hiding. Really. That's that homburg dude, which he'd yell at him. It's punched me right in the guts. It was a good shot. So to that prick. If you're out there, I would like an email from you. And I don't even expect an apology. I'd like another F you from that guy right away. That was very interesting. But yeah, you're fine. And again, I hope the people that don't like me.

[Brady]

That was in the jeep, right?

[John Holberg]

No, it was in the. The Bronco.

[Brady]

Oh, okay.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, he left one slur out then.

[John Holberg]

No, Mark wasn't with me. No, Mark wasn't with me. That's the again. You can go down that road all you want. It's only Mark. It's not even going to apply to me.

[Brady]

There's an example right there.

[John Holberg]

Perfect. Well, look, every day is an example. The only times anybody's called me the homo effort is when Mark's in the car.

[Brett Vesely]

You need to record this next time.

[John Holberg]

Mark's in the car. If Mark's in the car. I'm putting the phone. I'm getting dash cams.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

And I'm pointing him at Mark. I'm like, I'm gonna. You know what? I might. I'm gonna call Stebbings today and we're going. You and I are gonna drive around for a little bit. He's gonna be.

[Brady]

Why?

[John Holberg]

Where are we going? Nowhere. We're going nowhere. We're just gonna drive around in high volume traffic and we're just gonna wait for a girl to start singing Cher at you. Or guys, just ask us what gay bar we're going to. Cause it's.

[Brady]

You loop him around and then I want to put him in my rental Rogue Nissan Rogue with the windows down and see if it happens that way.

[John Holberg]

I don't think that's. I don't think that applies.

[Brady]

The DMARK effect would work on no matter what car.

[John Holberg]

I think with two dudes in it is. That's like lesbians. Like you might think you guys are given. Yeah, that's. I think. Yeah. You can't have two fellas in a Nissan Rogue. That's sort of a family car. You two have adopted a Chinese girl. There's no question that one is the Rogue Nation. It's assumed that inside of that if there's two gentlemen that there's definitely some ass play going on. Just weird though. And Stebbings would do it. And you can't really test that because the Rogue has a. It's weird to see two dudes in a family truckster. It really is. Like. That's an odd thing. Don't you think? Like two guys in an outback.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll Uber.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I've lived at it.

[John Holberg]

You've been in an outback and people thought you were the owned one didn't. Yeah.

[Brady]

Two years.

[John Holberg]

It wasn't even a good. Yeah, it wasn't even a good one. You had it for longer than two years.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. You had to because we. You had it at the zone and then you had it here for a while.

[Brady]

It was at the tail and you.

[John Holberg]

Kept it telling you and gave it to your dad when he was driving. When he was out here.

[Brady]

My. My stages of every two years.

[John Holberg]

That was A rough one. Yeah. And it wasn't even one of the good ones. It was a weird hunter. It was ultra. It had, like, lesbian package on the back.

[Brady]

Gold package.

[John Holberg]

The gold package is what put it over the top. I mean, it was.

[Brett Vesely]

What were you doing?

[John Holberg]

It was the Subaru Outback. Navratil. Yeah. It was the Navratilova edition.

[Brady]

Outdoorsman. Lesbian.

[John Holberg]

It was Navratilova. It had a tennis racket on the side of it. It gayest car of all time. If you're a woman. If you're a man, it's just like, oh, what? This is a loner. They wreck your car.

[Brett Vesely]

Did it come with free tickets to share? Is just a CD on the deck there.

[John Holberg]

That might be Indigo Girls. No, it was worse. Cher was not. Cher was way too mainstream. This was.

[Brady]

I picked up the Indigo Girls.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. He had to. They just. Well, every time he'd stop, the Indigo Girls would appear and get in the car. It's like, I don't know what's going on. Your car is a portal to our lesbian ways. Yeah. That was the. Literally on the side of it, you know how they have, like, you know, different state. Like the. The Jeeps have the Renegade and all that. On the side. It said Outback dyke. It was crazy. It was, like, butch. It was like there were two levels. It was butch, in fact, and Brady had it. That was the first time.

[Brady]

My first sense of pride.

[John Holberg]

It was the first time I ever. Oh, there was pride involved. That was the first time ever I heard Brady go, sweet. We didn't know what that was. I'm sure.

[Brady]

Double sunrise.

[John Holberg]

I didn't know him.

[Brady]

Look at this.

[John Holberg]

Jim Wilson and I walking in from lunch when he pulled into that and we just started laughing. Check out my new sweet ride. Did you say sweet? What's that mean? Yeah, sweet. Like, okay, he's got a speech. Pride. I'm not gonna make fun of him. What happened to your regular car? I traded it in. For what? When do you get that car for this? What, did you lose a bet? I got a good deal. It can't be good when you pull up in your new car and people start like. And you're like, it's my new car. Like, yeah, right.

[Toledo]

Oh, really?

[John Holberg]

Where's the. Where's the real car?

[Brady]

It's in the shop.

[John Holberg]

It was weird.

[Brett Vesely]

For two years.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, it was. That was a good one. But the Outback, I was gonna do that. There's nothing you can do about. But a man driving an Outback is just confusing. There's no man has an Outback.

[Brett Vesely]

What year was that thing?

[John Holberg]

I'll look this up. Oh, it was bad. It'd be 98.

[Brady]

Yeah. Probably right around there.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. It had to be 98 or 99. Yeah, that one was an odd purchase, but it was funny. I mean, if you were going for laughs, you got them. But a dude driving. I don't think since you. I've seen a man driving an Outback.

[Brett Vesely]

Not on purpose.

[Brady]

I do.

[John Holberg]

No, you don't. You've never seen. Seen that. You've seen a man with an Outback?

[Brady]

I kind of chuckle.

[John Holberg]

Oh. Oh, it's hilarious. If you see it, it's a unicorn. I've never. I mean, his lesbian sister is loaning him a car. No man has signed.

[Brady]

The guys that ride the bikes on the. On the weekends. Huh. And the. A lot of bike riders, like, trail.

[John Holberg]

Riders that have outbacks. Yeah, no, I ride a lot of bikes.

[Brady]

Bike rack on it.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. For the lesbians, so they can go. It's never for a man. You're confused. That's exactly what it looked like. Gold wheels. Yeah, it was bad.

[Brady]

Yeah. I've never seen that scoop on the front hood.

[John Holberg]

Brad, Brad, I don't know how many times you and I have been on rides or bike rides or trail rides or anything else. I've never once even seen dudes piling out of an Outback.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holberg]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

Nothing. Weren't grabbing their ass when they got out.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. No man's ever purchased one of those on purpose. Except Brady. And then obviously was ridiculed out of it a couple. A couple years later. He had to hang on to it. But that was a rough one.

[Brady]

It's my experimental stage.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. And you know what you were. Yeah. Experiment with the ladies. Why not? I think I found it with the mean lesbians. That thing just had. It just had big V energy coming off. Like angry vaginas. Like. Yeah, it was like vaginas with vaginas with mustaches. Like, they were angry male vaginas.

[Brett Vesely]

So the gold wheels and everything like that, it wasn't.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, it wasn't that ghetto, but it was pretty. That. Oof. And that's a car anyway.

[Brady]

How is that? Sweet.

[John Holberg]

Sweet. That's what we thought. He was kidding with us. Like, ah, they gave him a weird loner. We didn't even know at the time that those were for lesbians, but we assumed it because Martina Navratilova was the spokesperson for Subaru back then. We're like, oh, I see the angle. They're tackling that market. That's Interesting. Back in the late 90s, everybody thought there were like four per city. We didn't know how many lesbians there actually were until, you know, Obama. And then. Then they just erupted. Lesbianism was humongous.

[Brady]

One of the good phrases on selling benefits. They're big in Denver. Oh, cool. I'll make them big.

[John Holberg]

To be fair, you didn't know that 90s Denver was just a sea of lesbianism. We didn't know that. Liberal lesbianism everywhere.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that your worst car?

[Brady]

Yeah, pretty much.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Visually proud.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holberg]

I remember I was at a car dealership. My friend Brian. I don't know how they sold you that Outback. I don't know what the linchpin was to go, sweet. Where do I sign? I don't know what. That's. That sales guy. I hope he's in. He's got to be the greatest. He's like, in the hall of fame. I sold a Subaru Outback to a man once, and everybody be like, buy beers for him. How did he do it? I'm at the Saturn dealership, and my friend Brian's like, I was looking at these Saturns. You want to come? I'm like, sure. So I go out with them, and we're there, and this Italian dude is like, they make this out of different stuff. He's the salesman. He goes, they don't. It's not, like, metal. And I don't know what the product was that they made Saturn's out of. He took a baseball bat and just smashed the door twice, and it pops back out. And then he kind of banged on it. You'd do anything to this car. And my buddy Brian's like, I'll take it. Like, it was the greatest. It was the greatest sales pitch I've ever seen.

[Brady]

How many times was he taking the bat to the door?

[John Holberg]

You show people, but. Yeah, you'd kick them. But you. I mean, he was not comfortable with it yet, the dude. And I'll never forget it. I don't even know why I was with him that day. This dude, Italian was. It was like, Brett in the suit. He got what? Hang on, I'll be right back. He comes back, and I'm like, oh, no. I've seen this. We're getting in a trunk. He's gonna beat us to death. I thought we were gonna be. And he just big.

[Brady]

The trunk is.

[John Holberg]

Smashes a car with like nine miles on it in the. In the parking lot. Just one of his products. Look at that. You can do anything you want to. This thing and, like, it's indestructible. And he mashed that thing and. And he stood there all proud of himself with the bat. And I'm like, this is Saturn's selling point, is that it can be vandalized and you'd never know it. And all I thought was, I want to beat the crap out of Brian's car on a regular basis when he's asleep and he'll wake up. It'll be just fine. It recovered. It's pretty amazing. But anyway, I hope the people like that dude at the gas station, everybody else found great joy. The ones that hate me in my bad evening with my football team, I'm not that down on it because I didn't expect them to do anything outside of make the playoff, maybe get a win out of. They couldn't win it, so I was fine. The Ravens are out. They're in shambles, and I'm fine with whatever happens next. What? 98? No way. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Have you ever thought to yourself, I'm going to sell my house? Of course you have. And one reason or another, you just didn't do it. Probably because it's a hassle when you try to make a real estate deal. What if I could say, you can sell that house the day after you say the words, I want to sell my house. Doug's been at this for over 25 years, and that's why he's still on top of the Hill. TVs Doug Hopkins can handle everything. Won't move the price, or you get $5,000. What do you do? Start the process right now@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing Hopkins. 1-800-sale- now.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into MMP Guns, where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com. The safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holberg]

Sickness. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Matthew says, I have kids and I hate them.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, the fastest way to hate kids is to have them.

[Brady]

She sees five dollar meal.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, because then. Because that sign outs like, kids eat free.

[Brett Vesely]

That would never happen.

[John Holberg]

Oh, oh, we did that.

[Brett Vesely]

Kids pay double.

[John Holberg]

Oh, I. I used to suggest that at Tony Roma's, kids are extra. Like that kidsman. You should be like, how come the kids burger's $15? It's like, so you never come back here with those Kids eat free. Oh, we tried that for a little bit. Roma's. And my God, did those cheap bastards take advantage of that party of six. Two adults, four kids, mother 18.

[Brett Vesely]

And they never tip on it.

[John Holberg]

Never. They tipped on the 18 bucks and they got grilled cheeses and there was crap all over the place. Nobody likes your kids.

[Brady]

You don't serve Cheerios.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Oh, yeah. But they were everywhere and they just left them. That's somebody else's life. Yuck. At the Rah Rah room down there at the Suns, some people. Kids in there, Sometimes people. I don't know how they have the nerve. The whole family rolls in there and they bring their children. And I'm like, ugh. Some lady brought her four year old on the table.

[Brady]

Like, kids. There's that disgusting shock job.

[John Holberg]

Good, good. Yeah. Teach him to hate me because I'm. It's mutual. He's gross. I'm like, so's that booger eating machine tickle the kids. Yeah. Then I'm like, hey. Then they disappear for three days in Santa Fe and Marshalls can't find me.

[Brady]

I. Those kids.

[John Holberg]

There's no question that point lets him in there. Well, we all. You hear an audible. Oh, when one comes in. What's going on?

[Brett Vesely]

They got their little bag of Cheerios. Throwing them all over the place.

[John Holberg]

And me and Anthony just go, we're getting out of here. You feel bad for all the servers, you know, like, they wandering around there.

[Brady]

And you're like, there's your Shirley Temple.

[John Holberg]

Oh, I would just say no. I would put alcohol in it. Like, oh, I didn't know children were here. Who brings kids to a. This is dumb.

[Brady]

Could he get a chocolate milk?

[John Holberg]

I'm kind of convinced that my parents never gave me good food on purpose, because then I would want. I see parents taking their kids to sushi and like, nice. But, like, what are you doing? You're creating a palate that you can't keep up with this. Like, they're gonna. And the expectations of, like, What a date would do. Like, Applebee's was pretty good when I was first kind of adulting. Like, this is decent. Like, I know we never got to go for sushi. My parents used to go, ew, it's gross all the time. With everything that could potentially be expensive, they considered gross. And that was a ploy that. Because they went out and ate it.

[Brady]

That was right when you were a kid. I mean, the first time I tried Sushi was like 1991.

[John Holberg]

Oh, it was everywhere. But my parents, like, ugh, no. But then I like, they'd eat it and my dad like, I love this stuff. I'm like, what? Where did that start? Like, once I was an adult, suddenly mom and dad were at like high end restaurants. And I'm like, have you guys been doing this the whole time? We didn't take your dumbass. Because then you'd expect better food.

[Brady]

I didn't like going to the high end restaurant or the country club brunch or whatever because you had to dress up. And as a kid you hated putting on.

[John Holberg]

Well, I think that's on purpose though. Yeah, I think the parents know you don't want to do that. Yeah, I'm still that way.

[Brady]

Where we're going to dinner, you know, oh, you need to wear a suit and tie.

[John Holberg]

I got to talk to my dad about this. He owes me some money because I ate plain hot dogs. Like, I. I had to be like the cheapest ride ever. As a kid. I was like 8 cents a day because I ate tortilla shells and stuff. I was. Yeah, those kids were eating better than me. I had tortilla shells, sloppy joes. The hell was that? That cost a penny. My mom would make like, here, I'd be like, oh, delicious. Like, it was food. And then like later I noticed that these, these two mother are going out to some pretty nice places. They never took us. You weren't supposed to take your kids to that.

[Brett Vesely]

Like the highest class place Kurt Vesely ever took me was like Black Angus or something like that. And that's.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, that was. And that was like, nice. And you thought, you want to go.

[Brady]

Back after that or did you have to dress up?

[Brett Vesely]

No, not for that.

[John Holberg]

Black Angus was a thing. Thing. Yeah, we knew though. You can't ask for Black Angus that just shows up once or twice a year. You can't. Kids ask now. It's like, I want to go to. I want to go to the sushi place or I want to go to, you know, Capital Grill. Like, what the hell did you do.

[Brady]

It was usually our grandparents that want, you know, like if it was someone in town or whatever. And then you go to a nice place.

[John Holberg]

You ever eat something called a Coney?

[Brady]

Coney Dog.

[Brett Vesely]

Detroit thing, isn't it?

[John Holberg]

Yeah, yeah, basically Coney Island. Disgusting human vomit, acid reflux in a hot dog bun. It's one of the grossest things you'll ever. My grandpa, that was his specialty.

[Brady]

He loved the Coney Dog.

[John Holberg]

Three cents a person, max. I'm realizing as we talk about this, I was getting rotten like Timothy Busfield. Kids all through my childhood on food, I never got good meals.

[Brady]

Your mom, they were sticking to your.

[John Holberg]

Namesaked them, but they were. I was. Hey, we're jewing me on the food. Brett's right. Noodles, like everything. We ate some good spaghetti. We ate. Oh my God. I'm having a real. This is a Katrina. I gotta call Katrina. My parents fed me garbage. Bargain basement ghetto food to keep me from liking good stuff. So I never asked for it. We ate like Toledo's. I ate like Toledo, for Christ's sake. Salisbury steak. He ate that. That was a big night.

[Brady]

You'd have. Everyone would have the TV dinner.

[John Holberg]

We had TV dinners.

[Brett Vesely]

The old tinfoil Brady.

[John Holberg]

Here's the other thing. We were excited about those. Jesus Christ. My parents chewed me out of meals for 18 years. Next thing I know I'm with my dad as an adult and all he wants to do is go to high end everywheres. And I've foot the bill most of the time. This mother owes me thousands of dollars. Housing. Please. You were saving money.

[Brett Vesely]

To pay for all your ass.

[Brady]

A lot of baloney.

[John Holberg]

See, that's why I don't understand it when like people get divorced and like, oh, I gotta pay. I gotta pay that broad like two grand a month for. I'm like. It cost my dad like 12 cents a month. To what? To raise me. What are you spending on a kid? Clothes and food. I'm like, clothes and food. 18 bucks a year, max. I don't think my parents spent more than that. And they're in a house they would have been in with or without me. So it wasn't like they were. We put a roof over your head. Yeah, but it would be there anyway.

[Brett Vesely]

Mac and cheese with hot dogs.

[John Holberg]

And I got. And I loved it.

[Brady]

What a combo.

[John Holberg]

It was thrilling. I'd come home and smell that grilled cheese.

[Brady]

God damn, it's gold.

[John Holberg]

Come on. It's six tenths of a cent grilled cheese from McDonald's. My dad needs to be a lawyer. For men getting divorced and just sitting. Your honor, I can raise a kid on 18 a year. I don't know what this guy's got to pay two grand a month for.

[Brett Vesely]

I think Cordell. And Cordell's probably already got his number on call Dan.

[John Holberg]

Homer, he can do this down to about 12 cents a day. Maybe spent 12 cents on me a day. Maybe. Maybe never.

[Brady]

You got the private school you got.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, you don't have to do that. That's a challenge soccer league you got. I look at private schools and public schools the same way I look at the way water works. When we were kids, you could drink out of the faucet and everything was fine. And now you can't do that, not in Washington. Now you have to have, like, a special ionized bottle to put ionized water in. It doubles down, and it's like $14 for a thing of water.

[Brady]

My sister still does the brita stupid jug.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, but school is the same because somewhere along the way, they made public schools like. Like water out of a faucet. And the only way your kids are useful are private schools. That's just such a scam. It's not different. Brady's is a little. Well, they want to teach him Jesus. And that's the difference. If you want to teach them Jesus, you got to go to that. Otherwise, public schools are just fine. They'll teach them to be men, even the girls. Yeah, you know, you got the Jesus plan. You want to teach them the Jesus, then you got to go to that private place. Public schools are just fine. There. Nothing wrong with them. But we made them tap water. Ew. Your kids go to a. And then all you need, especially in Gilbert, is, oh, they're going to Highland. And now you feel like you failed. But my dad would have been like, yep. And I, it's 8 cents a day's.

[Brady]

Not going to school with goons.

[John Holberg]

8 cents a day. My dad still probably wakes up laughing. I raised two kids. I spent a hundred thirty four dollars whole time.

[Brady]

Yeah, the lunch money bill is a.

[John Holberg]

Lot different from where it wouldn't be if Dan was raising you. How much is lunch? It's like $83 a week. All right, well, you'll eat when you get home. I wouldn't eat at school if it was expensive. My dad would be like, nope. And we had money. Well, he had money. He kept it.

[Brady]

And they closed off lunches. Like, I had open lunch from elementary school.

[John Holberg]

I brown bagged it. I liked it. My mom would make me. You know what I used to eat. Jesus. Ghetto. I am having a moment. My lunch, and I was thrilled with this. Pretty much every day was a scrambled egg with two pieces of Wonder Bread around it in a bag. An apple, maybe some of those, like, baby Fritos. I get a couple of Fritos. Like, one wasn't like a full bag, the mini bag. Like, she'd reach in with her. No, she'd reach into the big bag and put it in a Ziploc. Like, I get like eight.

[Brady]

Portioned it out.

[John Holberg]

Portion like we were in war with, like, we were rationing. And then, you know, one thing I did, like a Coke, because that was. That was my treat. But I was allowed to have two a day.

[Brett Vesely]

Was it a real Coke?

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Okay. Two a day. Oh, yeah. She didn't. I will give them credit, you know.

[Brett Vesely]

Mr. Pibb or doctor.

[John Holberg]

They were brand name people. Oh, my God. Every day, my lunch was a penny. And I was. I was walking around like, hey, guys, what's going on? I'm the richest kid in this class. There's no question. And mom scrambles up some eggs every morning. We were depression era. I didn't even know it until just till today.

[Brady]

Not even a PB and J because you want the scrambled egg.

[John Holberg]

I like scrambled. I thought it was highfalutin food.

[Brady]

That was your goal.

[John Holberg]

I loved an egg sandwich. How sad is that? And I'd sit there and just hammer a scrambled egg sandwich. Other kids looking at me eating real food, going, that guy, his parents are broke. Terrible. Oh, my God. I didn't have a Members Only jacket. I had the Mervyn's version was still.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, I mean, better.

[John Holberg]

Like, no, it wasn't pennies or something. And my, you know, remember those red and black? They were popular for a while. Those Elmer Fud coats everybody had for a little while. Mine was blue. Everybody had red and black. That was the cool thing. Mine was like your color. Like, it was turquoise and black. It was like, yours is wrong. Like, immediately. That's not right. Like, I know.

[Brett Vesely]

With the yellow front and bottom or something.

[John Holberg]

I think she got it. Yeah, she got it at Marshalls. And it probably had an irregular thing. It probably had a big bleach stain on the back. I didn't even see. Jesus Christ. My parents who had money were me, like Timothy Busfield. They should be in hiding for day. I might just go back and sue them for a few decent meals. Eggs, sandwich and eight Fritos. What the 98. What 98.

[Byron]

No way.

[John Holberg]

It's John Holmerg here. And it's time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug hopkins.com 2026 Brand New Year. That usually means every one of us says something like, this is the year I blank. And then we insert some strange goal. Let me tell you this. Most of the time you're not going to do it. This year I'm going to call TV's Doug Hopkins. He will buy your home as is. You can start eyeballing houses that are already upgraded. So fresh starts for 2026 are waiting for you at your keyboard. Start the process right now online doughkins.com or sing Hopkins 1-800-sale now. Holmberg's Morning Sickness by the way, I am not. I know it's not good for us with Trajan and all the stuff, but I watched Elon Musk on a podcast yesterday say that saving money is pointless. Now, I saw that. Did you see that? Did you. Did you hear what he said?

[Brett Vesely]

No, I just read that. I read the headlines and stuff like.

[John Holberg]

That starts making the whole thing loads of sense. AI will create an abundance of everything. And he said, and I'm thinking, what, 80 years, from 10 to 12 years, we'll have such an abundance of everything, including medical care, food needs, because AI can create everything that nothing will cost. Money will be irrelevant because you can just make it.

[Brett Vesely]

But who's going to make these things? AI, that's his AI is going to build AI machines.

[John Holberg]

Yes, that it will be smart enough.

[Brett Vesely]

See, I didn't read the whole.

[John Holberg]

Create its own creation. So it'd be like whatever you need it to do, it will make it. And it can do it. It will. He said in the next eight years, AI programming for us.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Will be smarter than. Will know more than every human being combined because it will have all of us. Every piece of information ever will be there. So you don't need education anymore because you've got it. It's in your phone. You just ask questions. It's in whatever device that will be and it will. And you will learn as you go. And maybe you pick it up, maybe you don't. You don't need to. I've been calling the phone a handbrain for about 10 years. It is literally going to become your hand brain. It is going to take over for your thought. No school. No. I mean, no need. And that's.

[Brady]

But that's kind of a downside of it, right? What do you mean that society gets dumber?

[John Holberg]

Well, no, we'd be. No, we wouldn't be dumber because you're not retaining it, you're not doing it. Yeah, we do it now. Just imagine that.

[Brady]

I know it's going to be finding out that easier.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, but will it matter if we're smart enough to figure it out. And also AI will help us be smarter with our. We're not going to walk around like adults. We'll have all the. If we. If you do it your own fault. You have all the world's information in your hand.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

And if you're stupid, that's your fault. What we will be is like the least sociable things ever like it. And we'll have no self identity.

[Brett Vesely]

It's already going that way. So even dumb kids.

[John Holberg]

Elon actually said at the end, he said the problem is not going to be that we won't. The abundance of everything. And when he starts to spell it out, you're like, oh my God. He goes, saving money in the next 10 years is pointless. Is in about 10 or 15 years saving for retirement. We'll have such an abundance of everything. There's no reason to, you know, hold away a bunch of money.

[Brett Vesely]

So it's going to be free. Every single store and we'll just grab what we want.

[John Holberg]

It'll be, It'll just be there. You just have it. The house. It'll like do it for you. Like I'll grow your food or get you some stuff and just.

[Brett Vesely]

I can send something to. Go get me beer stuff.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. It's gonna be like having a great wife. Go get me a beer.

[Brett Vesely]

Women are really gonna be gone.

[John Holberg]

They're the ones. It's Wall E. It's. Yeah, it's exact. All of. And when he starts to do like yo. Because your brain still works. Well, I gotta go to the store. Yeah, no, you don't. It just. Yeah, everything happens and he's like, that's how good AI is going to get in the next decade. Now I'm still gonna keep money just in case. But when he started to spell it out, I started to sink like, oh my God. When there's too much food, we won't have to pay for. Won't be a commodity at all. And food's the first thing you think of. Medical care will be. Ask your phone. It'll tell you exactly what's going on. It'll probably have health readers and scanners that'll. They already have that. That it can tell you what your body's doing and like where things are and what's going on. You'll still need somebody to fix it. Maybe not AI should be able to.

[Brady]

Take care of that cost of materials. When you take. When you take out, you know, a lot of the. Like, imagine how much labor you can take.

[John Holberg]

No labor. And he said, basically, you're not even going to need to work. That everything's just going to be. There'll be no reason to go. I go, I need the house. You just have the, I think, figure it out and build it 3D printing houses now. I didn't even understand it. And then he starts talking. You're like, oh, my God. So spend all your money is what I'm saying. Go buy that. He basically said that. He goes, just go get that car. Like, go get that sports car. If you want it, go get it. Because you're not going to need to worry about this in about 10 years.

[Brett Vesely]

But if he's off a couple years.

[John Holberg]

You'Re gonna use that car. Yeah, and that's what I was thinking. I'm like, this is pretty amazing. But they did say we'd have like vending machine babies and hover cars when I was a kid. And that never happened. Yeah, I mean, in weird ways.

[Brett Vesely]

They got an opening.

[John Holberg]

They have eugenics, which is what they said. You should be able to. You could pick the color of his eyes and like, you can, but we made that kind of close. Well, you can do it 100%. You can do. They do it with dogs. That's scary. You can do it with people. They just won't, because it ain't right. There's something about that that's just not right. But we can do it. So they weren't wrong. It's just how they delivered them was they thought back in the 50s when they were telling you that they don't think what's morally wrong about picking the color of your baby. But it says, yeah, and by 2030, I will surpass the intelligence of all humans. Combined with. He also said that eventually there's going to be more humanoid robots than humans on the planet. And slowly the traditional job will be replaced with white collar positions. Anything short of shaping atoms, AI can do half or more of those jobs even right now. So in the next 10 years, those are gone. Advances could lead to big productivity increases and surpass what people could possibly think of as abundance. The word abundance will be like. It'll be secondary to us. Like, we have everything we need.

[Brady]

So to see by saying that, does he think life is going to be better?

[John Holberg]

He said rather than a universal income, everyone will enjoy universal. You can have whatever you want income in the future. He Claimed in this world, the link between individual wages, savings, living standards no longer makes any sense. And that's when you're like, huh? But he's different. And he starts going. He says, even without savings, AI will help people obtain better medical care, food, educational opportunities. He basically said AI and humanoid robots will make work optional within the next 10 to 20 years. Render money completely irrelevant. He said, if you want to work, it's the same way. You can go to the store and just buy some vegetables or you can grow them yourself. Some people still like to do that. You'll just have a world where you're allowed to do whatever you want. Because there's no real, like, oh, we're out of this, or we don't have. You don't run out of anything. AI will make sure that we don't run out of anything. Isn't that crazy?

[Brady]

It's crazy. But I'm thinking, what happens to the. The people that still want more?

[John Holberg]

There is human. That's the thing. Because our brains are always trained for more. But if. If what? He's. If you watch this podcast. I forget the name of the podcast. If you watch this, he basically says, there isn't more. There's no need for more because we have it all.

[Brady]

The craving of, you know, power and that kind of stuff. There's just the history of man.

[John Holberg]

Sure. But if there's no more man running.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

And everything is abundant, we will be Wally. It'll be, just eat your food. There's tons of everything. You just go outside and get one. Crazy.

[Brady]

Hard to conceive.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, it's hard to conceive, but.

[John Holberg]

Imagine me five years ago saying, oh, there'll be this thing. You can ask it question. I told a friend of mine yesterday, he was going through this legal deal. He asked me a question about some stuff and I said, you know what I did? I had a legal issue last year. I went to ChatGPT legal department, and it helped me immensely. Ask the right questions to a real lawyer. Five years ago, I was like, what the hell are you asking? The. Like, Google? No. And you try to explain that it's not Google. You couldn't do it. Like, there's no way I could tell you, oh, I can. Like commercials you see on tv. Those aren't real people. They don't exist. They're not even like pictures of real people or clip art or anything. It's just fake everything.

[Brady]

The scary thing that I've heard about, like, ChatGPT and Gemini, like Gemini, supposedly the better platform, ChatGPT is still the amount of information that's incorrect. There's a factor of that I think.

[John Holberg]

People want that to be.

[Brady]

I don't know. I mean, but I don't.

[John Holberg]

There's stuff that gets wrong for sure. But it's two years old. It's a baby. Right. And we're. And we're leaning on it, like. Like it's been here forever. A Benny Mailson says, sounds like socialism on steroids. It is, sort of, but it's with robots, so it doesn't even matter. 98. What? 98.

[Byron]

No way.

[Brady]

Holmberg's morning sickness Gen zers have a new term going around, Choppelganger.

[John Holberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Means you look like someone else. So you're like a doppelganger, but an uglier version.

[John Holberg]

Oh, like me with Johnny Sins. I'm his chapel ganger. He's the. I say that about guy. I'm like, that's the handsome me. I consider myself a chapel ganger to about 700 bald guys. I've been a chapel ganger to tons of people who are. Who are you? A chapel ganger. Who are you? You look like him, but he's Butterbean. You think he's the better version of you?

[Brady]

No, no, no. I'm the uglier version. Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. So you think Butterbeans are better?

[Brady]

No, I'm a better version of that. Yeah. Let's see.

[John Holberg]

That would mean. Hold on, Brady, stop. That would mean. Yeah, that would mean that you think. Think Butterbean is your chapel ganger?

[Brady]

Doppelganger. No, he'd be more of a doppelganger.

[John Holberg]

You think you're even.

[Brady]

No, but I've. People have, over the years said, hey.

[John Holberg]

Butterbean, let's just mean I just saw you. I'm asking you, in your opinion because you just said you're better looking than Butterbean.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Does that make him your chapel ganger?

[Brady]

Yes.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, yeah. It's big of you to say that. That you're better than that man by quite a bit.

[Brady]

A lot.

[John Holberg]

You said that? Yes, you did.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did.

[John Holberg]

You're better than him.

[Brady]

Better looking. Better looking.

[John Holberg]

You don't know that, man.

[Toledo]

You'd rip out a transmission as fast as you go into reverse.

[John Holberg]

That's so true. Yeah. I'm surprised the whole block hasn't fallen out of him.

[Brady]

Sorry.

[John Holberg]

I had to throw it in park while we were moving.

[Brady]

Sometimes, Toledo, you just gotta be decisive decisions. Like I did.

[John Holberg]

Not you, my friend.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holberg]

You are one of those guys. Yeah. I've got like 20 that I'm the chapel ganger of. And no one's my chapel ganger because I'm the lowest of the low. So I'm. I'm. I'm at baseline one, and everyone that sort of looks like me, I'm the uglier version of that. So I would say.

[Toledo]

Okay, so I'm confused. So they're the chapel.

[John Holberg]

No, no, I'm their chapel.

[Toledo]

You are.

[John Holberg]

It's. They're the handsome me.

[Brady]

Gotcha.

[John Holberg]

And there's no going beneath this scale.

[Toledo]

The chapel ganger is at the bottom.

[Brett Vesely]

It's.

[John Holberg]

Well, it's.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holberg]

You're just the uglier. Like, I don't know who you think you look like. Who do people tell you look like? Easter island monolith.

[Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holberg]

You would be their chapel.

[Toledo]

Say those things are better looking.

[John Holberg]

Then you're the monolith. Chop. What do people say you look like?

[Brett Vesely]

I get Andy Garcia.

[John Holberg]

You're the chapel ganger of Andy Garcia. Because he's the handsome you.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

And Brady, Butterbee Jay and Silent Bob. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, Dante. Dante from. From clerk.

[Brett Vesely]

I think he's my chapel ganger in that.

[John Holberg]

I think. In fact, I think you're better looking than him. Johnny Sins is without quite. There was a guy, my friend Jordan, brought his brother to a son's game, and he says to me, you get kind of a Johnny Sins vibe, only not. And I'm like, it's exactly. You're exactly right. Everything about him is a little bit better than me. And I can accept that. It's just nice to be in the. You know, it's like, nice to be nominated.

[Brady]

The first autistic Barbie, by the way.

[John Holberg]

Hold on. Who does he look like? Who does Toledo look like? We've never even noticed that. You don't look like anyone.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holberg]

You're just kind of.

[Toledo]

When I was the only thing, like, when I was young, like, really young, and Richard Marks was coming around, I had longer hair.

[John Holberg]

Richard Marks.

[Toledo]

I'm just saying.

[Brett Vesely]

Got an old picture with the hair.

[John Holberg]

Hold on to the knights. Richard Marks.

[Toledo]

See if I can find.

[Brady]

When you had your mullet going.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Did your sister date the guitar player from Richard? Drummer.

[John Holberg]

Studio drummer.

[Toledo]

Yeah, the studio drummer.

[John Holberg]

He was the studio drummer on the second one. Let's hold on to the night. What was the first one? He had two big games.

[Toledo]

Tell me Nothing was the. Was his first hit.

[John Holberg]

Don't mean nothing.

[Brett Vesely]

Donovan said Toledo is the chapel ganger of Rachel Raiders. Rachel Maddox.

[John Holberg]

Rachel Maddow. Who's Rachel Maddox?

[Toledo]

Maybe that's somebody else.

[John Holberg]

Oh, Rachel Maddow. You are kind of the Rachel, Matt. I can see that. She's the better version of you. Gotta put you on something. You don't look like anyone.

[Toledo]

See the long hair?

[Brett Vesely]

You got it.

[Brady]

I'm.

[Toledo]

I'm trying to find one.

[John Holberg]

Richard Marks. Go through my dark long hair.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Darker. Yeah.

[John Holberg]

I don't see it.

[Toledo]

Let me see you pull up a.

[John Holberg]

Picture of Richard Marks first.

[Toledo]

From like 80 or from like 91.

[John Holberg]

Maybe for a little while. You look like Adam Schefter, the NFL Insider.

[Brady]

There you go.

[John Holberg]

But not now.

[Toledo]

No.

[Brady]

Chop him.

[John Holberg]

That was.

[Toledo]

That was going around when we were in Tampa.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, but then you stood next to him and I'm like, no.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holberg]

It's. I just thought you looked like him. And then we. You don't. Andy Garcia is a good one for Brad.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I've heard that a few times.

[John Holberg]

Mine is both Johnny Sins and the sloth from the Goonies.

[Brady]

You know who else is a Choppel gang of mine? Andy Reid.

[Brett Vesely]

That's true.

[John Holberg]

Now hold on. Which one do you think's better there?

[Toledo]

Which one? They're all better there.

[John Holberg]

No, no, no. Andy. Andy Reid. You think he's the uglier version of you?

[Brett Vesely]

You do?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Okay, well, we can't get them all.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Toledo]

A thousand on that.

[John Holberg]

You and Indy Reed have similarities. That is true. I'm not sure which of you I'd rather be. And I think that's what determines the chapel gamer, at least physically.

[Toledo]

Okay. I was gonna say, you know.

[John Holberg]

Oh, no. And which one I'd rather be in real life? Like if I could swap by. If I could Freaky Friday with either Brady or Andy Reid.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, this one just came.

[John Holberg]

Brady's gonna be fine without me. Me. Oh, there's Butterbean and Brady. Yeah, that's. I didn't realize that. Now you think you are his superior, according to you.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

It's a toss up.

[Brady]

Well, that's his. That's the best he's looking right there.

[John Holberg]

Which one is he again? I can't tell. Side by side of you and Butterbean.

[Toledo]

Oh, it's the HMS logo. That's the one that gets it.

[John Holberg]

He looks to be in better shape than Butterbean's ever been. In that photo, he's actually got definition in his pectorals.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's his prime in fighting.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, right there. So right there you're the Chapel gang. Yeah, in that picture, I think maybe that's the beans. I think the bean wins. If we went to the mall yeah. And said, ladies, which one? Then that determines if you're a chapel.

[Brady]

Yeah. Like, go to Butterbee.

[John Holberg]

This one says, I think Toledo looks like Tom Arnold.

[Brady]

That. Okay.

[Toledo]

There's my senior picture.

[John Holberg]

That is Richard Marks looking at Toledo's senior picture. Oh, my God.

[Brady]

There is. There's.

[John Holberg]

Were you working at TGI Fridays? What's with the shirt?

[Toledo]

That was cool at the time, like you said. I think it was like our one store in town was the Bon Marche.

[John Holberg]

I don't know what that means.

[Toledo]

Macy's now.

[John Holberg]

Oh, a lot of. Lot of denim on you in the kids.

[Brady]

That is totally stranger things.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Right there.

[John Holberg]

It's a good look. Yeah.

[Toledo]

I'm bringing it back.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Was that done at all in Mills?

[Toledo]

I don't remember the local food outside his dad's house. His backyard had like a wagon wheel and a stage coach in it.

[John Holberg]

It's Montana. You all do this.

[Brett Vesely]

This one came through too.

[John Holberg]

For you, Rachel Maddow. Yeah, that's pretty good. Toledo's got the same hair. Rachel Mano. I can see that. This one says Toledo, I'll be here.

[Toledo]

Chapel ganger.

[John Holberg]

So honestly, Toledo resembles the murderer that killed the dentist and his wife. Columbus, Ohio. I haven't seen that guy yet. Toledo doesn't really have one. Keith Jardine and I. The fighter.

[Toledo]

That's tough call.

[John Holberg]

That's a tough call. One of us is uglier than the other, and it's hard to determine because we're both so insanely ugly. Yeah. That was you and Adam Schefter. I thought you guys looked alike till you were next to each other and I realized that your head is the size of a semi truck. And he's a normal man.

[Toledo]

Yeah. And he's also very tiny.

[John Holberg]

He is short.

[Brett Vesely]

Christopher said so Brady's rose colored glasses work in mirrors too.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. He stared at. That's a tough day, though. You got to give Brady credit for tolerating that. To look at a picture of you side by side to butterbean and go, I don't know who's better. That's a tough look. I'm well into my admission of ugliness. I'm not sure Brady is there yet. 98. What?

[Brady]

98.

[John Holberg]

No way. Homeberg's morning sickness doctors. We got that covered. I asked my. My liver surgeon friend the other day, Dr. Brink, how long would it take him to teach me liver transplants without all the extra of school? Like, just like it's a dystopian future.

[Brady]

Like they do it in the movie sometimes when they have an emergency surgery and they walk somebody through it. Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Like land in a plane. Like, there's a guy on the other end. All right, you're gonna find the left ventricle. I'm like, I don't know what that is.

[Brett Vesely]

Head striker.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, it was. Yeah, but just using a bomb. He said he could do it in about two years.

[Brady]

Two years.

[John Holberg]

Two years too long. That's what I said. I said, well, like, I couldn't watch you like a hundred times, like this year and pick it up. Like, I want to get in there and cut and then, and then you show me. Right. Go here. Like you couldn't give me step by step, everything. And he's like, no, it would take two years. And I'm like, I don't want to know the anatomy.

[Brady]

I want to create more value for his skill.

[John Holberg]

That's what I said. Because then, then I told him, like, I could never teach you what I did. I'm way too advanced. It's not true. Brink would have no interest in this because he's smart.

[Brady]

And I bet you they get done with metal scoring like. Like, what a racket.

[John Holberg]

It's a racket. They teach it everything.

[Brady]

And then now they're, you know, they've gone a little upset the whole deal. When you were talking about the two.

[John Holberg]

Year program, they're trying to speed through it. Well, he said he can teach me liver transplant surgery in two years of just me observing every day.

[Brady]

You're gonna go through some mistakes, but I challenge that.

[John Holberg]

I think you'll be good. I could get it done by July. I did my first liver transplant.

[Brady]

Done.

[John Holberg]

Challenge. Oh, I would if. Look, if you're a person who wants to sign off on some papers and let a rookie give it a run, you talk to professional baseball players. And they, they went through like 20 guys at, I forget, some luncheon or something they had, and they had all these pro baseball players. And one guy was asking him, he's like, dude, off the street, 100 pitches. How many of them does he hit off a pro pitcher? And all these guys looked at him and went, zero. It's like if he played ball in high school, he's like, yeah, he might chip a couple off, but some foul tips. No, it might make contact. No hits. You're gonna ground out or pop out. You're not. You're not making meaningful contact off a professional pitcher. If you're just climbing off a Hall.

[Brady]

Of famer's hitting 30.

[John Holberg]

Well, hall of Fame, 30%. Like, 30 of 100. Yeah, 30. Yeah, 30 is hall of Fame.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Marshawn lynch went down to a third D backs and took batting practice and they dialed up a 90. And he. He was like.

[John Holberg]

He just.

[Toledo]

No, no, he goes, give me the 80. And he got the 80. And he got a couple.

[John Holberg]

He got. Yeah, it's going to a pitching.

[Toledo]

Exactly.

[John Holberg]

But a real pitcher.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holberg]

Standing there looking at you don't know what he's doing. You're done. You might.

[Brett Vesely]

Ted Williams. 400. He hit and he missed six out of ten times.

[Brady]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

He's a 400 hitter.

[Brady]

40 out of a hundred.

[John Holberg]

Tony Gwynn was like as good as Ted. He like. I think he hit like. I don't. He never struck. Greg Maddox never struck him out.

[Toledo]

Never. Like Smoltz and Glavin.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. And he never struck out. And he still only hit like on his best year. 350. It's crazy, but I think I could get a liver transplant done way before I could hit a pro pitch.

[Toledo]

See, I don't know about that.

[John Holberg]

Give me two years.

[Brady]

GoPro pitch.

[John Holberg]

You think? Give me two years in a cage or two years with Dr. Brink carving up.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

You're hitting the pro pitch first.

[John Holberg]

Yes, I think. I think I can get a liver done by the end of the year. I don't think I could hit a.

[Toledo]

Pro pitcher without killing the patient.

[John Holberg]

Well. Yes, everyone. Well, the dead one stealing from is out.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holberg]

That's obvious.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holberg]

I could. How about this?

[Toledo]

Perform an autopsy now.

[John Holberg]

Well, no, that's. No, not a real one. Because I wouldn't know what to write.

[Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holberg]

I could take one out of the dead body and it would be like he'd look at it go, that's perfect. Thank you. Within six months.

[Toledo]

Six months.

[John Holberg]

Tie in the. Tie in the dead guy's liver to a living person.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holberg]

That's going to be the year and a half that he needs to teach.

[Toledo]

Yes.

[John Holberg]

But I could learn how to cut it out and give it to him. Ready?

[Toledo]

That might be fair. I might give you that. That's some heavy studying, though.

[John Holberg]

Not really. It's just. No, I don't have to pop a book. I could watch him split. Being a mechanic, I think taking it out.

[Toledo]

I think there's stuff that you're gonna.

[John Holberg]

Need to do the most crucial part.

[Brady]

But maybe putting it back together.

[John Holberg]

Put it back together. Simple. Getting the bad liver out of the living one might be an issue.

[Brady]

That's.

[John Holberg]

But I could get the dead guys. The dead kid's liver. I could chop that right up. And then he would just trim it like the parts that I like Thanksgiving just. I would leave everything too long, and then he can trim it down.

[Brady]

I mean, I removed a liver once from an antelope.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, see, but you didn't have to. You could. You didn't care if you made mistakes of a job.

[Brady]

It was. I mean, that whole gut pile.

[John Holberg]

Now imagine studying. Yeah, imagine somebody studying.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

And like, you watched this dude who was an expert. You do it.

[Brady]

You can't let the rest of it tumble out. You have to take the one thing out.

[Toledo]

I've cleaned a fish and I've gotten good at carving up a turkey. So, yeah, I guess.

[John Holberg]

All right, I'm going to go ahead and say it. I could do an open heart surgery by August. I'm pretty much. That's what that's like, though. The heart's easy. It's like four. Four hunks. William says you're insane. You can't hang a bike rack and now you're transplanting livers. Look, that's different. That's. No, it's not. That's a totally. There's no hardware. No, it's not. Apples and cinder blocks.

[Brady]

But it wouldn't take you two years on a bike rack either.

[John Holberg]

It might take.

[Brett Vesely]

See how many holes are in that wall. He showed us the picture.

[John Holberg]

You have not seen my drill skills. They are atrocious. Atrocious. But I'm pretty sure I'm more. I'm. I'm more of a detail oriented dude. When it comes down to, like, carving, I don't know. I think I'd be pretty good at it. I think I be good at it.

[Brady]

You did footers.

[John Holberg]

You know, I had no idea what I was doing either. Nearly burned my eyes.

[Brady]

You figure it out. I think you crack a body open.

[Toledo]

And then what happened? For a week you had a highless stuck in your backyard.

[John Holberg]

Well, that wasn't my fault.

[Toledo]

Oh, you're blaming Luke.

[John Holberg]

Luke's the one with the. He brought it over. He should have known that it was going to get stuck in the. Come on, we got it out. Ingenuity. Anyway, the future, none of this will matter. We'll have bots doing it. According to Elon, right after Trump's out of office. That's the craziest part. When Trump's done, we're like, bots will do it. That's when he says it's good for the five years. We're gonna start relying on them. In 10 years, they're going to do everything.

[Toledo]

Well, that. And we talked about it. I think last year at some point. Quantum computing and all that together there's.

[John Holberg]

So John, really, you could. You. You didn't know to take the plastic wrap off windshield wipers and you're. Yes, but see, after observing, I now know, and that's what I'm saying with the liver search. I'm pretty quick when it comes to that surgery. Yeah, it's no different than changing windshield wipers, which, by the way.

[Brady]

Yeah, but you'll leave a sponge in there or something.

[John Holberg]

Maybe there'll be mistakes.

[Toledo]

John, I love it when idiots make a mechanic. Comp or comparison?

[John Holberg]

What?

[Toledo]

This moron. Look how long it took you to figure out wiper blades again? That's the common thing.

[John Holberg]

I haven't ever done it. That was my first time and I popped them right. Oh, second time. Popped them right on. And I didn't know that little blue thing was a protector. That seemed excessive.

[Brett Vesely]

In your 50 years, that's the first time you did wiper blades?

[John Holberg]

Yes. Lies. Come on.

[Toledo]

First time.

[John Holberg]

Come on. Well, first time I succeeded. Succeeded. Okay, I don't want to hear it.

[Brett Vesely]

Took you 50 years to do the wiper blades.

[John Holberg]

I did it. It wasn't like I was out there every day just failing.

[Brady]

Who did it?

[Brett Vesely]

You never did it when you were 17, 20 years old.

[John Holberg]

Come on.

[Brady]

Your sister.

[Toledo]

Not one.

[John Holberg]

Wiper blades? Yeah. Oh, like you guys were out there doing all the time. I've seen you never. Then how come you couldn't do mine?

[Toledo]

Subaru.

[John Holberg]

I've never done your type of. Yeah, no, I never did it.

[Toledo]

Jeep was too tall.

[John Holberg]

I think I did it on the Dodge once on my truck, but they slid on.

[Brady]

Yeah, you've had to put it the blade zombie.

[John Holberg]

Ah, not really. No need. The Jiffy Lube will do it. It's out of control now.