01-14-26 - BR - WED - Kyle Emails In Angrily After Taking John's Greenland Plan Too Seriously - List Of Best Paying Jobs Includes IT - Brady's Bad Oranges Have A Butthole Story

Summary

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Episode Overview

Episode Theme:
The January 14, 2026 episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" centers on the comedic fallout from an email received by the hosts, particularly John Holmberg, after a listener named Kyle took one of John’s absurd, satirical "plans"—the supposed invasion and colonization of Greenland—far too seriously. The cast uses this as a launchpad to lampoon political polarization, misunderstandings of satire, and general online outrage. The episode weaves in pop culture trivia, humorous commentary on best-paying jobs, and the infamous "Brady's bad oranges have a butthole story," maintaining the show’s irreverent and playful tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Satirical "Greenland Plan" and Listener Backlash

• [01:15-07:10]
  The episode kicks off with John and Brady dissecting an angry email from listener Kyle, who mistook John’s parody "Hellcats and Carnival Cruises to Greenland" scheme as genuine political commentary.
  • John clarifies his satirical intent, mocking both the misinterpretation and the hyper-political mindset that fuels such outrage.
  • The hosts riff on the phenomenon of "Trump Derangement Syndrome" and political tunnel vision.
  • Robust defense of comedy and satire: “Do I think my blacks to Greenland is a good idea? Yes. Do I think it's realistic? No.” —Brady [05:15]

Notable Quote:

• "Kind of think my black invasion of Greenland was a fart joke. I'm pretty sure you're the one that's lost your mind here." —John Holmberg [01:32]
• “There is a Trump derangement syndrome. People are so hateful for him…your brain is all politics now, Kyle." —Brady [03:02]
• "It's a South Park episode. I just wrote a South Park episode." —Brady [05:32]

2. The Role of Satire and Listener Engagement

• [02:10-07:43]
  The gang delves deeper into how satire is misunderstood in a hyper-partisan era. They agree that taking jokes literally is a symptom of an overly politicized society and highlight the importance of comedic levity.
  • The email exchange with Kyle escalates into a tongue-in-cheek debate over who gets to be offended and why.
  • Recurring gags about “sticking to fart jokes” and MAGA/liberal "tards" lampoon the overly sensitive audience.

Notable Quote:

• “Let’s just have an accord here. Although I do love when the nutbags email... I just absolutely love it.” —Brady [06:31]

3. National Dress Up Your Pet Day & Trivia

• [09:07-11:09]
  The “Brady Report” starts off with fun banter about National Dress Up Your Dog Day (or pet) and unusual trivia:
  • The first American dog park’s founding in Berkeley, 1979.
  • The strange tale of Salvador Dalí conning Yoko Ono into buying a blade of grass for $10,000, fearing she'd use a mustache hair for witchcraft.

Notable Quotes:

• "If you have clothes for a sugar glider, you’re a pervert." —Brady [09:19]
• “Everyone in the story is insane.” —Brady on Dali & Yoko Ono [10:19]

4. Best Paying Jobs List – IT Dominance

• [12:17-15:49]
  Discussion of U.S. News & World Report’s annual best-paying jobs list, emphasizing the prominence and salaries of nurse practitioners, IT managers, and information security analysts.
  • Segue into the hosts’ confusion with their own radio station’s app and broader observations about relying on IT.
  • Humorous take on the emergency alert system and its ineffectiveness in real disasters.

Notable Quotes:

• "If the alert, Emergency Alert System goes on...shouldn't I worry most about the emergency? It never does emergencies." —Brady [14:22]
• "I don't give a crap about the app and all the other stuff, even though we have to play that game because of Bob's idiots." —Brady [13:25]

5. Tourist Traps & City Rankings

• [16:08-18:01]
  The travel insurance provider study ranking the world’s “fakest” cities floods the segment with their takes on cities like Las Vegas, Venice, and San Francisco.
  • Lively complaints about filthy city realities versus their postcard-perfect images.
  • Quip that San Francisco “photographs well” but “all of San Francisco’s gross.”

Notable Quotes:

• "It looks beautiful in Full House...then you step over the feces and the homeless guy and the needles that are being shot through the air like arrowheads." —Brady [17:10]

6. Bad Oranges & "Butthole" Picking Technique

• [22:15-24:06]
  Comedic review of a viral video advising shoppers to assess the "booty hole" of an orange when selecting produce. Spirals into a series of juvenile but hilarious comparisons to anatomy.

Notable Banter:

• “Oranges are like women. You want them tight, a little juicy in the middle, and not fat with big blown out holes.” —Brady [23:01]
• “Was the name of the no such thing as an orange booty hole.” —Brady [24:35]

7. Odd News & Worldly Weirdness

• [19:09-21:40, 30:03-31:09]
  • High-BAC DUI story: Wisconsin man caught at a lethal .427 BAC.
  • Asian tourists’ car winds up on a ski slope in tiny Andorra.
  • Discovery of an ancient “penis pen” in Sicily.
  • Segment on street justice, a disturbing and graphic viral punishment video, and bodily humor gone wild.
  • Several bursts of wild video commentary (knockouts, fire accidents, street fights, and anatomical oddities).

Notable Quotes:

• “He kept his high noon intact.” —Brady on a man prioritizing his drink over helping someone on fire [25:15]
• “Oranges are ass.” —Kyle [24:54]

8. The Infamous "Brady's Bad Oranges Have a Butthole"

• [22:15–24:06, recurring]
  The original video tip about selecting naval oranges—by inspecting the “booty hole”—becomes an extended punchline, prompting anatomical jokes and a debate over fruit terminology.

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

| Timestamp | Moment / Quote | Speaker |
|-------------|----------------|----------|
| 01:32 | "Kind of think my black invasion of Greenland was a fart joke. I'm pretty sure you're the one that's lost your mind here." | John Holmberg
| 03:02 | "There is a Trump derangement syndrome. People are so hateful for him...your brain is all politics now, Kyle." | Brady
| 05:32 | "It's a South Park episode. I just wrote a South Park episode." | Brady
| 09:19 | "If you have clothes for a sugar glider, you’re a pervert." | Brady
| 10:19 | "Everyone in the story is insane." | Brady
| 14:22 | "If the alert, Emergency Alert System goes on...shouldn't I worry most about the emergency? It never does emergencies." | Brady
| 17:10 | "It looks beautiful in Full House...then you step over the feces and the homeless guy and the needles that are being shot through the air like arrowheads." | Brady
| 23:01 | "Oranges are like women. You want them tight, a little juicy in the middle, and not fat with big blown out holes." | Brady
| 24:35 | "Was the name of the no such thing as an orange booty hole." | Brady
| 25:15 | “He kept his high noon intact.” | Brady
| 24:54 | “Oranges are ass.” | Kyle

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Tone & Style

• Consistently irreverent, quick-witted, and unfiltered, with the cast riffing off one another’s jokes and hyperbole.
• Political satire is wielded to poke fun at all sides, not to push an agenda.
• The hosts blend crude humor (“stick to the fart jokes,” “booty hole oranges”) with real-world trivia and current events, demonstrating their radio chemistry.

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Segment Timestamps

• Listener Email & Greenland Satire: [01:15–07:22]
• National Dress Up Your Dog/Pet Day & Fun Facts: [09:07–11:09]
• Best Paying Jobs List & IT Talk: [12:17–15:49]
• Tourist Trap Cities: [16:08–18:01]
• DUI and Andorra Stories: [19:09–21:40]
• Ancient "Penis Pen": [21:17–22:04]
• Orange "Butthole" Tips: [22:15–24:06]
• Viral and Shocking Videos Commentary: [25:03–33:12]

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Closing Thoughts

This episode demonstrates the ensemble’s knack for using fan reactions as fodder for meta-comedy. The Greenland satire and the outrageous "orange butthole" story exemplify how HMS walks the tightrope between provocative social commentary and classic shock jock humor. With its blend of offbeat news, pointed sarcasm, and willingness to make fun of itself and its listeners, this show remains distinctively brash, topical, and Arizona’s #1 morning drive distraction.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Various Advertisers]

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[Michael from Restore My Civil Rights]

This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. It's still over 110 degrees outside and the political climate is just as hot. If you've lost your right to possess a firearm due to a criminal conviction, we can help at Restore My Civil Rights. We help Arizonans restore all of their rights because constitutional rights shouldn't depend on the next election results. To book a free consultation, call 855-gun- rights or visit restore my civil rights.com today. That's restore my civil rights.com.

[Brady]

Ready to go with the Brady report. That's right now. And it is a flying. Before we get to that though, I do have to say that my attempts to remain casual about political opinions because again, as I've told you, I don't care. We don't control a thing. All I'm doing is reading the tea leaves. We're gonna attack Greenland. We're gonna attack him. I didn't say I was for it or against it. I'm saying if we're gonna do it, here's an idea Kyle has emailed in. Don't pander to the MAGA retards, please. Taking over Greenland would not end well. Stick to the fart jokes. Uh, kind of think my black invasion of Greenland was a fart joke. I'm pretty sure you're the one that's lost your mind here. You thought I was serious through that? I have to explain that to you. You were all for taking over Greenland. Did you hear how Kyle relax.

[Kyle]

With.

[Brady]

Hellcats and carnival cruises? You're like, ah, he's a right winger. How can I let stick to fun jokes and jokes that I understand, Kyle, Really? I just know you're gonna make those red headed weirdos happy. Right? That's my job. Making people smile. But I wasn't smiling. That's what matters most. If you were Politically stung by my Hellcats Carnival cruise, Raising Canes, Blacks to Greenland plan. And you want to make us think about it. Feel free. But also look in the mirror and say, what the am I doing with my time?

[Kyle]

Maybe you can make him happier by saying, we'll turn Greenland into the ice headquarters.

[Brady]

Ah, we'll see. No, because that people with red hats are smiling. Did it again. There is. I do firmly believe, although I think it's abused and used too much, that there is a Trump derangement syndrome. That people are so hateful for him. You. You confuse what I said for a political statement. Because your brain is all politics now, Kyle. I'm. To be clear, pretty sure my Hellcats to Greenland plan is not gonna fly. Let me just say that right off the bat that I'm not gonna really go down and petition for it now. If I get a call later today, I'd be like, hey, somebody in the Fed there I want. All I'm doing it for at that point is attention. Like all of you with Instagram. It would be hysterical if I was the face of the carnival and Hellcats to Greenland program and it got taken seriously. I'd run with that forever because it's funnier. Don't tell me to stick to fart jokes when you didn't get it in the first place. Did you hear Homeburg this morning? Maga retarded. What do you do? Oh, he said we should give hellcats to black people and move them to Greenland to scare all the racist Inuit whites up there. And you took that seriously?

[Kyle]

The government just might do that.

[Brady]

You took that seriously. Well, what about. How am I supposed to take it? Maga retards. Don't say maga retards to me either. Then if it's. If what I said offended you, you can't say maga retards because you're on the side that's not supposed to do that. I'm the one that gets to say retard because I don't pick a side. I think there are plenty of Margaret retards. I also think there's a lot of lib tards. A lot of tards is what I'm saying.

[John Holmberg]

He hates these tards.

[Kyle]

Yes.

[Brady]

If anybody thought that plan I had was something that is going to rally the base, you're lost in your own nonsense and you need to take a step away. I will stick to the fart jokes. I made plenty of them this morning. Julio Glacias's finger was making tons of fart sounds. I've Hit my quota. Do I think my blacks to Greenland is a good idea? Yes. Do I think it's realistic? No.

[Kyle]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Carnival's going there now.

[Brady]

All know that there's a.

[Kyle]

Shut up, you murgat.

[Brady]

Yeah. Oh, now look at him. Oh, his hat turned red. Oh, is he got a poster. Melania, how's this happening so fast?

[Kyle]

You do.

[Brady]

There's a thread of potential reality that's called satire. Oh, I have to explain it all to Kyle. Stick to the fart jokes, jackass. Enough politics. Like, how was that political? Well, you want to take over Greenland again? Reset. And I knew. I told you, Brady, while I was doing. I'm like, people will be mad about this. They'd rather have a military war than they would like a satirical crazy plan. That's. It's a South park episode. I just wrote a South park episode. That's all that was. I can't imagine the emails they get.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[Brady]

I can't believe you'd support that. It's like, my.

[Kyle]

How do you run that? It's a network.

[Brady]

Yeah, the crazy can't get out of your own way politically and just take a breath and go. He. He doesn't just say that. Do you think John means this? Kinda. But let's just be realistic here.

[Kyle]

It sh.

[Brady]

Calm down, Kyle J. You're good. And don't write. Stick to the fart jokes at the end of something you put in. Please. Let's just have an accord here. Although I do love when the nutbags email. I just absolutely love it. And Aaron said Kyle's an idiot. That plan wouldn't work for MAGA because it involves paying black people. Right? They wouldn't do that. That would be. That would be a really rough sell for them. It's a fun plan. It's probably not real anyway. It's 8:03. It's time for Brady to give you the real news.

[John Holmberg]

Don't turn it up, Brady.

[Brady]

Maga. You're going to get all the Margaret retards excited and they're going to start talking about this like, good. That's hilarious little levity. It's time for Brady.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Try not to tart it up either direction. Lib or maga. We got a lot of tards floating around the edges here. We need the guy to come clean the tank a little and get all the algae off the corners because the fish in the middle are beautiful. It's time for Brady to give you all the news. It's called the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends@allpro. Shade.com Shade. He's talking about it again.

[Various Advertisers]

What did I miss? I've been on the horn with a bunch of Hellcat dealers.

[Brady]

Oh, no. Yeah. If you can get it done, get it done. Because I find that to be the more hysterical thing that if this plan flew, be like not disinterested. I'd be like Brewster's Millions. And I just get everybody to vote none of the above. Anyway, it's brought to you by All Pro shade. AllProChade.com is where you go. It's 80 degrees in January. You're going to need shade later this year. I have a feeling it's going to be 200 by June. It's beautiful right now. Absolutely stunning. I took the top off of my Bronco in November thinking I got a couple weeks of great weather. I'll put this in the garage and I'll drive the Jeep. I have not driven the Jeep once this winter, except for on days it rained because the weather is spectacular. Nothing better than where we live right now and sitting on your back patio and enjoying your day. But if the sun's in your eyes, it's still annoying. Make it even better. All Pro Shade will take care of that. No glare on the TV you put on your backyard patio. No sun directly in your eyes. And better yet, not squirting through your windows at sunrise or sunset to wreck your kitchen or your living room or wherever you're sitting. They'll cover it all up and they'll do it smart. Motorized shades that go away when the weather gets bad. But we never have that. So it's always like having another room in your house. It's an addition. It's almost extra square footage. And it's all from our friends at All Pro Shade. Check them out. All Pro Shades. Brady reported.

[Kyle]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Brady]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Kyle]

Happy National. Dress up your dog day or dress up your pet day. Your sugar glider.

[Brady]

If you. If you can dress up a sugar glider, I'm impressed. If you have clothes for that, you're a pervert too. Why would you have sugar glider outfits?

[Kyle]

Alligator.

[Brady]

Yeah, I don't know what's going on.

[Kyle]

With that couple of basis fun facts. The first dog park in America was established in 1979 in Berkeley, California. Huh. Salvador Dali once conned Yoko Ono into.

[Brady]

I like how you say her name, Yoko Ono. You say it like. Like hillbilly says O's and A's in the Midwest.

[Kyle]

Sumo wrestler Summa.

[Brady]

She conned a sumo wrestler?

[Kyle]

No, Salvador Dali Conned Yoko ono into paying $10,000 for a blade of grass. Yoko offered to pay that amount for one of his mustache hairs, but he secretly substituted the blade of grass because she thought he thought that Yoko was a witch. Might be using the hair and a spell.

[Brady]

Everyone in the story is insane. What was the blade of grass having to do with anything?

[Kyle]

Substituting the mustache hair. He used the blade.

[Brady]

She couldn't tell the difference between a blade of grass and his mustache hair.

[Kyle]

Yeah, that's how good of an artist he is.

[Brady]

Oh, Jesus. It wasn't art. It's a physical thing.

[Kyle]

Colored it and.

[Brady]

Huh. Okay.

[Kyle]

It worked. 10 grand.

[Brady]

Yeah, she had it.

[Kyle]

It's a lovely story.

[John Holmberg]

Morons.

[Brady]

Morons. I think I'm gonna go with that. Put it in the moron category. Stick to the fart jokes, you maga.

[Kyle]

Comet tails always point away from the sun because they're created by solar winds.

[Brady]

Interesting. I would have never known that because I don't understand any of it.

[Kyle]

What?

[Brady]

98. No, wait. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about my [e-mail] you got something you want to do in that backyard because it's just not what you want it to be. Make it beautiful. With turfmonstersaz.com youm can turf it. You throw in a sport court. You can put pavers, lighting, pergolas, plants, fire pits. You dream it up and they can make it a reality. Turf monsters will turn your backyard into an amazing outdoor space you can use every day of the year. Check it out right now. Turf monsters. Az.com It's Brady, and I'm here with.

[Kyle]

Christy from the wildlife world zoo.

[Christy from Wildlife World Zoo]

With over 6,000 animals, we always have something new and exciting going on. Now anyone can come out and book a private encounter with our sloth, our California sea lions, or our capybara.

[Kyle]

It's so worth it.

[Christy from Wildlife World Zoo]

We're the largest exotic animal collection in Arizona. We're located right off the 303 in Northern Avenue. For information on the park for hours or to book a private encounter with one of our amazing animals, visit wildlifeworld.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Kyle]

The U.S. news & World report did its best jobs in America list again. And for a third straight year, a nurse practitioner is number one. Typical salary is 129,000 a year. The unemployment rate is less than 1%. They expect 40% more job openings for nurse practitioners over the next.

[Brady]

Decade.

[Kyle]

Wow. Financial Manager number two. $162,000 average. Nice, but less job growth. IT Manager number three.

[Brady]

171,000. That's starting or.

[Kyle]

Average?

[Brady]

Average.

[Kyle]

Okay. Mike, information.

[Brady]

Security. Is Mike170 around.

[Kyle]

Here? I don't.

[Brady]

Know. I mean, that's in here to fix that app, then Mike, where is he? We get people emailing all day. Some of you can't get on the app and you can't hear me if you can't get on. I don't know how you're doing, but, like, if you're struggling with the app right now, we don't know. Stop emailing me. I have no idea how that works. I'm. I host a radio show. The Bob's made this a 15 element thing. I don't know how apps work. I don't care about the podcast. It all comes back to radio because if the ratings fall, we get in trouble. All the other stuff can go gangbuster. So I don't give a crap about the app and all the other stuff, even though we have to play that game because of Bob's idiots. But when it breaks, I know how to fix this. You and I both.

[John Holmberg]

Do.

[Brady]

Yeah. We switch mics. We can fix the board. I know how to reach. That thing's just floating around in invisible space. So I don't know. We unplugged it and plugged it back in. If it doesn't work, that's all we've got. We got to wait for Mike to get here. And evidently he's making 170 a year, resting in his comfortable golden.

[Kyle]

Bed. Information security.

[Brady]

Analyst. Fix.

[Kyle]

It. Number 425,000. And then a physician assistant.

[Various Advertisers]

133,000. The reason why it guys make so much is they don't let you access anything. I don't know how to learn about it.

[Brady]

Exactly. And they were all the apps. What did you do? Remember when they used to sit and you. When you start in radio, and they'd say if the. Here's the thing. If you. If you get a. No, I still don't know how this works. If the alert. Emergency alert system goes on, here's what you do. And I'm like, shouldn't I worry most about the emergency? It never does emergencies. And then you have to learn, like, there's buttons to push if you hear the emergency. None of us know what to do. BJ Novak, the comedian, had the greatest take on the. That. What do they call.

[John Holmberg]

It? The emergency.

[Brady]

Broadcast. Emergency ebs. Yeah. Eas. The Emergency Alert.

[John Holmberg]

System. Alert.

[Kyle]

System. Was.

[Brady]

He. He said, we all through our childhood, all through radio, all through everything. Every once in a While in the middle of like a cartoon. You're a kid. We interrupted from the ABS test this day. They tested it and tested it, and in case of a real emergency, you would have been told. Did you on 911 ever hear that? Did we run.

[Kyle]

It?

[Brady]

No. They tested it for years and never turned it on when we needed it.

[John Holmberg]

Ever. You know, the craziest part is their microphones at KDUS down the hall sound better than that national government agency that runs the.

[Brady]

EAs. Because it's always like, this is an actual emergency. You'd have been told to run for your.

[John Holmberg]

Life. I don't need to learn how to run it, because if an actual.

[Brady]

Emergency, I'm leaving, I'm.

[Kyle]

Leaving. That's why that message is running. If you hear that message means.

[Brady]

Everyone'S off the air, gone. This is not a test of the will. There are nukes in the air. The DJ will tell you what to do next. You think I'm not going to be around to tell you what to do next if the nukes are in the.

[Kyle]

Air? A new study from a travel insurance provider looked at into cities and have the cities that earned a reputation for coming off as a tourist trap, basically the fakest cities in the world. They base that on how often travelers experiences authentic, local or traditional and not tourist traps or overpriced. And the end. They put the list together. 144 global.

[Brady]

Cities. Number one, Vegas, New York. Vegas, Chicago.

[Kyle]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Fake. Number two, Venice, Italy. Number three.

[Brady]

Vegas.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Number four, Nashville.

[Brady]

Tennessee. You, along with about five other people that have been to Venice, all came back and said they didn't like it.

[Various Advertisers]

It's. I've heard that a.

[Kyle]

Lot. It's. It's dirty, it.

[Brady]

Smells. It's.

[Kyle]

Weird. Yeah. It's just in the summer, just because it looks.

[Brady]

Beautiful. It's like San Francisco from a distance. Yeah. But it's. It's. It's the weirdest thing. In San Francisco, from a distance, you're like, that's the prettiest city I've ever seen. And you get in it, and it is the grossest place I've ever been in my life. I hate San.

[Kyle]

Francisco. Evidently it's a. You know, I've been there in the past couple years. I guess it's gotten.

[Brady]

Better. San Francisco. Yeah. It had nowhere to go but up. And San Francisco. Better is still discussing San Francisco's gross. But it's beautiful. In a postcard or a picture. It photographs.

[Kyle]

Well. I think that's. I mean, true with a lot of big cities. I mean, yeah, that one's opening.

[Brady]

Credit. That one is extra though, because it's. It's like two square miles. Like New York. Other cities have dirty pockets and stuff, but for the most part it's like, not all gross. All of San Francisco's gross. It's just. I hate that. I hate that. But everything around it's.

[John Holmberg]

Nice. Looks beautiful in full.

[Brady]

House. Oh my God. Full. Yeah. And then. Yeah, and then you step over the feces and the homeless guy and the needles that are being shot through the air like arrowheads. In the.

[Various Advertisers]

1800S. Didn't you say that even in. Even at the time that house was like way overpriced for the Tanner or.

[Brady]

Whatever. Tanner's couldn't have afforded that place. It's on Nob Hill. Knob Hill. By the way, Kyle has emailed back and I think he's redeemed himself. He goes, thanks for the shout out. They do make all wheel drive Hellcats, so it probably would work. And the Carnival cruise I went on last year was mostly Chinese, so. Those bastards won't even talk to you. All I can say. Oh, and also I can say retard because I banged a downs girl back in the day and I think I might have gotten some of it. He said he thinks. Let me finish delete before you start chiming in. Said, all I can say is, I can say because I banged a downscroll back in the day and I think I caught some. Kyle, that's redemption right.

[Kyle]

There. So that gives you the. That gives you.

[John Holmberg]

The. Yeah, you get safe card when.

[Brady]

You. You get the bang one. You got the R word. Pass if you marry or bang.

[John Holmberg]

One. That doesn't.

[Brady]

Work. Not for all of them. But Kyle, I appreciate your response. Now calm.

[Kyle]

Down. Some guy in Wisconsin got pulled over for a DUI Monday night about six or 50 miles west of Green Bay. Breathalyzer clocked him in at a.427. Wow. Five times the legal limit. Point four is seen as potentially fatal. The guy still was managing to drive the car. It was swerving. They finally were able to pull him over without him hitting.

[Brady]

Anything. Got that hellcat pulled.

[Kyle]

Over. I know this is going to surprise you. Three female Asian drivers. Just one driver. Three. Three passengers in the car were enjoying a ski vacation in the country of Andorra. And they're driving and they ended up on the ski slope. The.

[Brady]

Car.

[Kyle]

Oops. They're following their.

[Brady]

Gps. Isn't Andorra like the size of an.

[Kyle]

Office? It's a small country. Yeah. You can go through it in four.

[Brady]

Minutes. Where is it? In between Italy and Switzerland.

[Kyle]

Right. In. In Spain.

[Brady]

Right. It's just. It's a. It's like a. It's a blip. It's like. No kidding. It's like size of a. I think Brady's right, like, three or four minutes.

[Kyle]

Cross.

[Brady]

Yeah. Wow. I think it's the smallest country in the.

[Kyle]

World. It is, yeah. Yeah, I.

[Various Advertisers]

Noticed. I thought the Vatican was the.

[Kyle]

Smallest. It's like. Oh, that might be like going through a.

[Brady]

Bisbee. Yeah, I.

[Kyle]

Think. I mean, it's a bigger spread. Everybody was just. Yeah. There's a picture of their hired Mercedes car that rented on the.

[Brady]

Slopes. Yeah. Andorra is really little.

[Various Advertisers]

Toledo. Just France and.

[Brady]

Spain. In between France and Spain. Tiny. Let's take. Let's. Let's go to war with them. Let's attack.

[John Holmberg]

Andorra. Anything worth.

[Brady]

It? I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Know. They're terrible female drivers. We got that.

[Brady]

Here. There's no reason. Ski slopes and a nice. Oh, you can do it for the.

[Various Advertisers]

Slopes. They got a.

[Brady]

Monarchy. Oh, I'm sorry. Come on. Well, you said it, so I assumed you were being.

[Kyle]

Terrible. Archaeologists in Sicily discovered something interesting. A. An ancient pen dating back from like 689 AD. And it was a stylus. It looks like it's a Dionysus, but it has an erect penis on it. It was a penis pen. You can look at the top part.

[Brady]

There. Man, they were into dicks back.

[Kyle]

Then. They were. It was five inches long. Not the pen is. There's the top of.

[Brady]

It. Look at that. They're sure this was a.

[Kyle]

Pen? Yeah, they said you dip the tip into ink and just the tip. You're right with.

[Brady]

It. You get ink all over the place. What? 98? No way. Homeberg's morning.

[Kyle]

Sickness. There's a video that's circulating online where a woman claims she's heard the key to picking the sweetest naval orange is to look at its booty.

[Brady]

Hole. Come on.

[Kyle]

Brady. She swears she's like you. Look at the orange and take a look at the naval part and the.

[Brady]

Navel. What is.

[Kyle]

That? Should be small and tight. Well, yeah. Who's taking a good advice picking.

[Brady]

A big, loose bottom of an orange? That goes for.

[Various Advertisers]

All. You think you're revealing new.

[Kyle]

Information. She also says the heavier oranges are.

[Brady]

Better. Okay. No, he's doing this because it had the word booty. Kirby's still listening. Of course, you don't pick an orange with a big hole in the bottom and all blown.

[Kyle]

Out. Whole.

[Brady]

Prolapse. Oranges are like women. You Want them tight, a little juicy in the middle and not fat. And not fat. With big blown out holes. I won't even eat an orange. If I pull it off the tree and too much of the top.

[John Holmberg]

Comes out, too much of the booty hole comes.

[Brady]

Out. Well, is that the booty hole? I thought the box. Yeah, Brady, which is the booty hole? The part connected to the tree or the.

[Kyle]

Underneath? The.

[Brady]

Underneath. Okay, what's the top? The skull? The.

[Kyle]

V? Maybe it is the other way.

[Brady]

Around.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Should I google booty hole on.

[Brady]

Oranges? Yeah, because Brady got cute and now he doesn't.

[Kyle]

Know. Yeah, I always thought the top part, where the branch was, was not the booty hole. The.

[Brady]

Navel. It's not really the name of it. It doesn't have an A.

[Kyle]

Hole. Orange anus. This is so.

[Brady]

Sweet. He's an idiot. You know what? Kyle's.

[Kyle]

Right. It is the opposite end of where it's connected to the.

[Brady]

Tree. Okay, so it says it on the blossom end, right? It's not the booty.

[John Holmberg]

Hole. Here's some booty hole porn for.

[Brady]

You. That's. Man, that's the thing that came off. Is that the. Is Velma the one that's telling us.

[Kyle]

This? Probably.

[Various Advertisers]

No. All right, according to the AI, a naval orange has an outer rind called the peel with a porous outer layer called the.

[Brady]

Flavedo.

[Various Advertisers]

Ooh. An inner white pith. The albedo which surrounds 10 to 12 juicy, seedless segments called the.

[Brady]

Carpels. No, it's just an orange. I'm enough with this page. Was the name of the no such thing as a orange booty hole. It's.

[Various Advertisers]

Tight. No, look, you're bringing up Velma because of the.

[Kyle]

Picture.

[Brady]

No. The picture. Yeah. There was a lady that looked like.

[Kyle]

Velma. You got a couple of pretty.

[Brady]

Videos. You. You story had the word booty hole, and it made a butthole out of an.

[Kyle]

Orange. Come.

[Brady]

On. Oranges are.

[Kyle]

Ass. First one's playing with a little Molotov cocktail. Okay, one looks like a camping.

[Brady]

Trip. Yeah. Oh. Oh. They just chucked it at each other. She was rolling around in the fryer. She didn't see that. She actually stopped, dropped, and rolled in the.

[Kyle]

Fire. She's still burning a little.

[Brady]

Bit. Well.

[Kyle]

Yeah. She had covered it multiple.

[Brady]

Times. So she stood there. What the hell game was this? Get her.

[Kyle]

Out. Maybe, Maybe.

[Various Advertisers]

Not. Wind up like you're throwing a.

[Kyle]

Fastball with a good.

[Brady]

Advice. Put her out. This is cracker heaven is what this is. My God. You know what's great about it? Everyone Helping her. No one puts their beer.

[Kyle]

Down.

[Brady]

Nope. No one, two hand helps her at all. Get her out. Look at. Look at the. Look at the guy who's gonna help. He's not putting that.

[John Holmberg]

Beer. Pulling up his offer to dump the beer.

[Brady]

Dude. Yeah. He didn't even pour beer on a person on fire. He kept my natty light. He kept his high noon.

[Various Advertisers]

Intact. Do we give her credit for at least dropping and rolling even though she.

[Brady]

Dropped? Fire in the fire, my booty. All right, will you.

[Kyle]

Stop? Okay, the next one's a knockout, and you don't need the.

[Brady]

Commentary. Okay? It's.

[Kyle]

Too. We've done this.

[Brady]

One. We're done. No, you don't want to do this.

[Kyle]

One. No, we're.

[Various Advertisers]

Good. I like.

[Brady]

This. We can't have commentary because they cost too.

[Kyle]

Much. No, not. Not in the knockout, but yeah.

[Brady]

Afterwards. Okay. Oh, geez. This girl just levels the other chick right in the. I mean, that is a right cross. She's out cold. She's To a tongue of.

[Various Advertisers]

Iloa. Look at all that.

[Kyle]

Comment. You don't need to hear.

[Brady]

Smokes. All right, let me watch it.

[Kyle]

Again. Yeah, you can hear.

[Brady]

The. Up until that.

[Kyle]

Guy.

[Brady]

Yeah. All right. Man, she flattens.

[Kyle]

Her. That was.

[Brady]

Lit. That's one of the best single punches I've ever.

[John Holmberg]

Seen. Tonight at 59th Avenue.

[Brady]

Glendale. Oh, wow. That teensignero went.

[Kyle]

Poorly. That's.

[Various Advertisers]

It. Your last one isn't.

[Kyle]

Showing. Yeah, it's.

[Brady]

Not. Wow. It was a good looking punch, too. Yeah, she. It was from the body. It was hips. It.

[Various Advertisers]

Wasn'T. She stepped into.

[Brady]

It. Yeah. I believe she's a shoulder turn chola. She's been in fights.

[Various Advertisers]

Before. Is that the technical.

[Brady]

Term? I think so. Okay. They have to get jumped in. That girl knows how to fight. That is a clean punch, Cholo. Men are chol. You didn't know.

[Various Advertisers]

That? No, know.

[Brady]

That. It's the gangs, okay? I grew up in New Mexico for a couple years, and we had to worry about that. It was all about your eyes and cholas. Cholas had crazy eye makeup, and that's when they wanted to be in.

[Kyle]

The cholos, cholas and.

[Brady]

Chomos. Well, that was different colors. Come on. Yeah, yeah. Come on.

[Various Advertisers]

Jesus. Did they call them that in.

[John Holmberg]

Colors? Yeah, I think.

[Kyle]

So.

[Brady]

Really? Cholas and cholas. It's been around.

[John Holmberg]

Forever. Pac man was after his.

[Various Advertisers]

Chola. I missed.

[Brady]

That. There you go. See? Come.

[Kyle]

On. Come on.

[Brady]

Poppy. What do you got there, Burke? All.

[John Holmberg]

Right, well, you don't want to break into this broad scar.

[Brady]

Okay? We're down there just trying to bust into this lady's car. Two guys. It's not a great looking curbitart. Here she comes. Oh, a flying front kick. Kick turns around. Oh. Kicks the guy in the balls.

[Kyle]

And.

[Brady]

Oh. Oh, whoa. Said Charlize the road, man. I got to. This is fake. That's. She missed that kick. And he pretended. This is all by.

[Kyle]

Design. Surprising you, Brett falling for.

[John Holmberg]

That. All right. Booty.

[Brady]

Hole. Yeah. That is a. Unfortunately, that was an attempt to make it seem like a woman could do that. And then that last kick, she missed and the dude still went.

[John Holmberg]

Down. This one sent over for Brady.

[Brady]

Staged. Okay. This is a woman who's. Oh, gross. Her legs are cut off at the. At the highest point of the.

[Various Advertisers]

Pelvis. So she's still got bones in.

[Brady]

There. So there's.

[Various Advertisers]

No.

[Brady]

That's. That's her vagina right there. Brady there. Oh, she's in a Waldo shirt. She's got no legs. Starting right at the vagina. And the two little bones that are still in there that are maybe an inch long are working around by the voice. What voice? The.

[Kyle]

Song. Well, maybe I thought someone. I heard someone go, ah, it was us.

[Brady]

Yeah. Why would that throw you.

[Kyle]

Off? Because I thought that was the person saying.

[Brady]

It. No, but you still couldn't tell that those weren't.

[Kyle]

Legs. I didn't know that was one of you guys. I was looking at the.

[Brady]

Screen. But what did it make you think you.

[Kyle]

Saw? It sounded like a male voice.

[Brady]

Going, oh, I thought that was a fellow. So you're confused. That wasn't a vagina. Let's look at that.

[John Holmberg]

Again. All.

[Brady]

Right. I.

[Kyle]

Think. Well, no, I wasn't confused. Well, the other thing is what else was cut off in the injury or.

[Brady]

Something? Oh, I think that might have just been a. Yeah, that looks pretty good labiaplasty there. You think a guy was going.

[Kyle]

To dress up package in the accident too?

[John Holmberg]

Huh? She's got a booty. Or born without it, but her booty.

[Various Advertisers]

Shorts. Yeah, that's full on orange.

[Brady]

Brick. That is the female anatomy. All.

[John Holmberg]

Right. How about some third world street.

[Brady]

Justice? All right. Oh, God. We're in India. And a guy's.

[Various Advertisers]

Evidently. The back of his.

[Brady]

Pants. He has been urinated on by all the townspeople. And right now, one of them is peeing right on his head and mouth. This is Africa. Or India. I can't quite. Africa, I think. And this is his punishment. The whole city gets to watch people pee on him right in his mouth. And he has to take it.

[John Holmberg]

And then this will Go along with. With Brady's story.

[Brady]

Earlier. Okay, not that one. Here we.

[Kyle]

Go. Every morning felt like a battle.

[Brady]

I was losing with my own bed. I was numb. Then one morning, I did something different. Oh, God. Right into some lady with her face. Halloween into a guy's butt crack. And she is in there. Oh, my Lord. Oh, that's supposed to be done in the dark. That is not supposed to be something people see. That's all. Oh, she is devouring the crack of that.

[Kyle]

Man. Wow, that's good.

[Brady]

Navel. Sure, everybody enjoys it, but you're not supposed to see it. Yikes. I can't imagine how hard Brady would giggle if that was being done to him or he was doing that. Like, the laughter would be childlike, like Elmo. It would be so funny to watch you do.

[John Holmberg]

That. I think he'd be crying if he had to do it, but if he was getting it, he'd be.

[Brady]

Pillsbury. Just calm down. I can't help it. Booty hole. It tickles. I can't imagine how hard you'd be giggling if you were bent over the rail of that patio like that guy and someone was doing that to you. You would.

[Kyle]

Be. I think you're giggling. Crying. Yeah, all the.

[Brady]

Above. You'd be losing it. And the worst part is you might like it. And that's probably why you don't do it. Just in.

[Kyle]

Case. Just in case. Think about.

[Brady]

That. You're backing into her, you know who is watching. Oh, boy. Here we go. Just put your face in my butt crack. Oh, Brady. That's nice. That would be awesome. I want to see you after that happens to you. A girl does that to you. And then you have to deal and rectify that with the Lord. I want to be there for all 24. I want to be the Korean watching through your Samsung. Oh, this will be a good one. I get to hear his prayers. He get to apologize to.

[Kyle]

Jesus. I shouldn't have done.

[Brady]

That. I promise. I'm human. I make.

[Kyle]

Mistakes. I shouldn't have done.

[Brady]

That. You shouldn't have done that. But did you like it? That's why I'm talking to you. I loved it. Yeah. If butts were off limits, God shouldn't have put a man's G spot in there. It's his fault, right? Eventually someone's gonna get curious and go, wait a minute, There's a button in there. Oh, boy, here we.

[Various Advertisers]

Go. Doctor found yours.

[Brady]

Right? Yes, he did. I didn't realize that was supposed to be.

[Kyle]

Pleasure. I've seen him for.

[Various Advertisers]

Years. Is there a tear for that.

[Brady]

One? Oh, no, that one was just. Well, that was a lot of embarrassment and strangeness. It was just in the office, but it's in there. And there you go, everybody. That is your Brady Report. It's 98. It's out of control now.